The Nick DiPaolo Show - "Racist" Country Frees Black Rapist | Nick Di Paolo Show #565
Episode Date: July 1, 2021Witch Hunt for Trump Continues. Reverse the Races. ABC Accidentally Lets TRUTH Out....
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Two, one. Oh yeah!
Welcome to the final show of the week, ladies and gentlemen.
Good to be with you.
I'm Merv Albert.
You know, I like to fuck hookers in the ass and then have them put their toupee over their
face.
Sir, we will be doing a show on Monday before I forget because we here give a shit.
We will be doing a show on Monday, before I forget, because we here give a shit.
This is a movement, and I'm talking about, what kind of movement?
I don't know.
Hot yoga, Pilates, pick one.
But yeah, Monday we'll do a show.
I was thinking about, I'm getting a little burnt, but you know, you people come out,
you see me live, you give me shit.
When am I going to not do a show?
But I warn you, I will be using,
I have Van Trollquist coming in, and we have David Letterman as a former hairdresser, so it should be
a big one. Those are lies.
Sure, it looks like I'm in Shawshank
Redemption.
Andy Dufresne.
Can we give Morgan Freeman more work?
That was a realistic movie prison in maine well i guess it would be 99.9 white but colin quinn disagrees and he's a prison expert
uh anyways and that movie was very overrated in my opinion but you people like a show a movie
the nice tidy ending where the black guy and the white guy walk hand-in-hand on the beach.
Get the fuck out of here.
It never happened.
Not that they say it did, but I'm just saying.
I went to school in Maine.
Anyways, let's get to it.
Before I throw out any more irrelevant facts.
Hey, the witch hunt continues from the left, obviously, on Donald Trump.
They won't leave this poor bastard alone. I am
telling you, do you guys see, now you see what a authoritarian government looks like or a
dictatorship. This is like third world banana republic shit, where you send the whole way to
the government after an American citizen who was former president. Do you understand how horrible these people are? If anybody should be in jail and being hunted, it's Obama and his strong safety of
a wife, Michelle. Marx is fucked. You can blame him for all the shit that's going on now,
including spying on Trump. But Trump might have done something with his taxes. I read the reason for it. It sounds
really kind of flimsy to me. But this Letitia, what's her name? Letitia fucking black woman.
Is that her last name? Letitia James. Of course, another racist black woman in power. I never want
to hear again how racist and misogynistic this society is.
Ever. The Trump Organization and its chief financial officer are expected to be charged.
Here we are on Thursday. They might have updated, but there hadn't been any update before we went
on the air. With tax-related crimes Thursday, a new report says. and I'm not believing any of this. Well, here's the thing.
Remember they got his tax? They don't know anything about when you're a businessman,
how right you can write because they're Marxists. They don't know anything about it.
There's all kinds of loopholes if you're a good businessman that you take advantage of that
aren't necessarily illegal. But anyways, we've already been through this. You remember Rachel Maddow? You remember
him having that big show when he got Trump's taxes, or should I call her their or they of them
or it? Remember when she got it, got it, Trump's taxes? That was the big, remember the show?
Tons of people turned in and they're like, wow, he paid more than he should have. Adam Zappel! Anyways, so I'm not saying there's nothing there,
but I'm just saying they should be worrying about China and Russia.
So as Ted Cruz would say about this story,
Nothing Burger.
Nothing Burger.
Nothing Burger.
That's the new Nothing Burger from Burger King.
It's made with hemp and dirt.
While former President Donald Trump is not expected
to be charged, the business and its CFO,
I never got that.
That's why I was a bad business student,
how the business is separate from, you know,
the guy who fucking runs it.
I'll tell you, those lawyers.
Anyways, the business and its CFO, Alan Weisselberg,
are set to be hauled into Manhattan court for allegedly dodging taxes on company perks. You
know what that is? Somebody gave somebody a toaster oven and they didn't report it.
Or maybe something a little bigger. Okay, a Vespa scooter. Anyways, they didn't report the taxes on the perks.
That's what the Wall Street Journal said Wednesday.
Quoting sources familiar with the situation.
Who'd you fucking talk to, Cohen?
The Manhattan District Attorney's Office,
which along with the State Attorney General's Office,
has been investigating.
Can you imagine the man hours and shit they put into this
to go after this guy?
Do you know why they're doing this, folks? They don't want him running again, ever. They want to
find something. They've been investigating the company for more than two years, and this is what
they come up with? Taxes on perks? Wow, hard-hitting, hard-hitting investigate. Very necessary.
They finally pulled the trigger on the tax evasion
raps uh the outlet said so you know trump will just pick up the phone counselor
counselor you're up my ass again i can't do it
i'm getting that thought i'm gonna go study that kid. The DA's office also has reportedly been investigating
alleged insurance and bank fraud by the company,
while AG, Attorney General Letitia,
there she is, Letitia.
You fat, nasty black bitch.
James' office, look at, she's just an unhappy person,
has been conducting closely related probes.
Again, another black woman in power.
The expected tax evasion charges are the first that prosecutors have filed in the case.
The rap comes as Weisselberger, 73, continues to refuse to cooperate, sources told the journal.
Every time they asked him, he said,
I don't know nothing about that.
Yeah, but Mr. Weisselberger, what about the perks on the thing?
I don't know nothing about that.
Okay, what about your secretary you took to the Bahamas two weeks ago?
I don't know nothing about that.
What about the STDs you got?
I don't know nothing about that.
How about that giant cock your life partner has?
I don't know nothing about that.
All right, and we're off.
He and his lawyers have yet to comment on the investigation or pending charges, the outlet said.
The former president has vehemently denied any wrongdoing, issuing a scathing statement earlier this week,
blasting the probes as a continuation of the greatest witch hunt of all time.
I have to agree.
Who wouldn't?
Radical left New York City and state
prosecutors, this is Trump talking, who have let murderers, rapists, drug dealers, and all other
forms of crime skyrocket to record levels, and who have just announced that they will be releasing
hundreds of people involved in violent crime back onto the streets without retribution of any kind, are rude, nasty, and totally biased in the way they are treating lawyers,
representatives, and some of the wonderful long-term employees
and people within the Trump organization, Trump responded.
They're going after my son.
It really is hilarious, though.
Think about what Hunter Biden got away with.
You pick a pick one of them.
All the shenanigans in China or him breaking gun laws recently.
Just think about it.
Not a scratch on him.
I mean, we're really heading towards a revolution.
Please, people on the right, help me out.
I'm a little old.
I can do verbal abuse. I can't really throw them anymore. I don't know. It's a mess at the White
House. Speaking of mess at the White House, this was a very interesting story yesterday I found.
Remember Miss Babbitt? She's the woman, the white woman who got shot, unarmed, climbing through a window on January 6th.
Ashley Babbitt.
Anyways, Babbitt's a killer.
Might be, somebody put the theory out there, might be Secret Service.
Who shot Ashley Babbitt, the pro-Trump Air Force veteran who was killed by police during the January 6th riot at the U.S. Capitol building?
That's the question being asked now, so.
That's a sick question.
You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it.
I'll answer it, you slob.
The American people were told that it was a Capitol police officer who fired the fatal shot.
But Cockburn, which I've had many times, has stumbled across some information that points to a different explanation.
to a different explanation.
Sources close to and within the intelligence community tell Cockburn that Babbitt was actually shot
by a member of then-Vice President Mike Pence's
protective detail.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
The VP's detail, of course, is provided by who?
U.S. Secret Service, not the Capitol Police.
One person asserted to Cockburn over drinks.
Now, what kind of drinks?
Long Island iced teas?
Maybe he's talking shit.
Over drinks in D.C.
that this, in quotes, I say,
basically an open secret,
that it was Secret Service
in the intelligence community, he says.
So, well, again, it's, you know,
it's a secret.
It's the same as a kind of a rumor, right?
I don't know.
Just the facts, man.
Law enforcement sources suggested to Cockburn that the Capitol Police Department and Department of Justice
have publicly identified the shooter as a Capitol Police officer in order to, this makes sense,
in order to protect the reputation of the Secret
Service. That shit goes on all the time in Washington. Cockburn also wonders if this isn't
an attempt to protect Pence from further angle or threats from Capitol writers who wanted him to
refuse to certify the results of the election on January 6th. That all makes perfect sense.
Remember how pissed they were at him,
the Trump supporters?
And I was a little pissed also.
I was a lot pissed.
Who am I kidding?
Makes me wonder about him.
He's off my list, by the way.
I was never a big fan anyways,
but he's a fucking made of stone.
He's like a wax.
But all this makes for a good theory, doesn't it?
A cover-up of this nature would also explain why the government hasn't been forthcoming
with other information about the alleged Capitol Police officer, who they say shot Babbitt.
Makes sense, doesn't it?
They don't want to talk about it.
Police officers that are involved in shootings.
They're almost always identified publicly.
You know that.
Who the fuck are you?
Are you writing a book?
Who the fuck are you?
Yeah, really.
The unnamed officer's lawyer says that his client is being kept anonymous due to threats against his life.
Babbitt's family, however, argues that they have a right to know who shot and killed
their beloved relative. Her husband, Aaron Babbitt, is suing Washington, D.C. for access
to records that would supposedly reveal the name of the officer. Good for him. The fact that he
doesn't know that, they haven't told him yet, That is just, it's in other words, tough shit.
Go away. Michael Brendan Daugherty,
this guy here,
looks like he's eating a deer with those
mutton chops.
Michael
Brendan Daugherty floated the idea
that Babbitt was shot by Secret
Service on his Twitter account
in early June, writing in response to Aaron Babbitt's lawsuit. Secret Service on his Twitter account in early June, writing in response
to Aaron Babbitt's lawsuit, I mean, at this point, you have to suspect it's not a Capitol cop.
He replied, Secret Service, when asked who he thought, could have been responsible instead.
So he thinks Secret Service. The video of Babbitt being shot as she attempts to climb through a broken window
that leads to the Speaker's gallery shows a man in a suit jacket holding the gun. The Capitol
Police do have plainclothes offices, but it is much more common for the Secret Service, as you
know, protective details, to be spotted in suits while tailing the president or the vice president.
spotted in suits while tailing the president or the vice president. That's true. It's making a lot of sense to me, but we'll never know, will we, with Biden in office. Cockburn reached out
to Pence's team for comment and was redirected to the United States Secret Service. The Secret
Service had a full 24 hours to get back to him and give a comment.
They did not, of course, respond.
And probably never will.
What a friggin' shame.
Stay on that one.
They'll let it go until by, you know, down the years down the road, they'll go, oh, here, you know.
Can you imagine if it was one of Pence's guys and Pence found out that day
when they wanted to hang him?
He's like, oh my God.
No, I'm definitely fucked.
Let's go to church.
Pence says it was a fag.
So what do you guys think?
I think that's a very plausible theory.
The fact that we know nothing about the so-called Capitol police shooter is very telling.
I think it was the redneck and the grassy knoll with the Trump hat.
Okay, let's move on, ladies and gentlemen, since it's the last day of the week and I
can't wait to get home and do three deep knee bends.
There are white niggers.
I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time.
In our RTR segment tonight, Reverse the Races, here's the story here.
Funny black rapist walks.
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby finally proclaimed his innocence, in quotes, in a tweet after being sprung from prison Wednesday, and included a photo of himself raising his right hand in a fist,
as black militants will do. He's proud that he drugged and raped about 60 women, a lot of them
white, so he's very excited about that. Are you shitting me? I'd fucking hang out with OJ before this jack off.
Can you not let the fucking fist.
If this doesn't say everything about this country in 2021, you get a pass for raping 60 broads.
Why?
Because your skin color.
We'll make up something up.
Just go, Bill.
Go do some shows. And I guarantee if you went and did some shows, it'll be packed with
black people. Standing ovations.
You know, like after the OJ
murder.
Garin fucking T. Who wants to bat me out there?
Look at him.
Ugh. I have never
changed, he says, my stance,
nor my story. No, you have to stick to your lie.
60 women had the same story, but they're all lying. You filthy black guy with a white potato nose.
I have always maintained my innocence. So did OJ, the disgraced TV star, wrote.
Unbelievable. I'm not digging this.
You're lying.
And you're a piece of shit.
Might want to tighten that one up.
He says,
thank you to all my fans,
supporters, and friends who stood by and watched me as I banged
these white women after I put
fucking drugs in their yoo-hoo.
No. Who stood by me through this
ordeal. Ugh, guys, it's disgusting. Exactly. Well, anyways, it took what? Is Pennsylvania the most
corrupt fucking state in the fucking union? Because one of their judges.
Yeah, yeah. The coat's in session. The court's in session.
Now here come the judge.
Here come the judge.
The Pennsylvania Supreme Court's decision
to overturn Bill Cosby's sexual assault conviction
in release the star from prison
has provoked widespread condemnation,
but also full-throated support
from his ignorant, long- longtime stupid bitch co-star,
Felicia Rashad, who celebrated the fucking news. I'll tell you why, because she black, he black.
We gots to stick together. It don't matter what he done. We both be black. Bill Cosby reportedly
left prison Wednesday afternoon after Pennsylvania's highest court
vacated, God, I want to know how many black people were on the court, vacated the Starr's
sex assault conviction. The court found that Cosby's deal with a previous prosecutor,
which prevented the actor from being charged in the case in exchange for testimony to be used in a civil suit was not honored by the subsequent prosecutor.
That's crooked. Nick, in layman's terms, you know, that's why they're going to let him out?
Please tell me there's an appeal coming after this.
The 83-year-old actor-comedian had served two years
of a three- to ten-year sentence at a prison near Philadelphia.
Can you imagine being one of the women?
Ladies, you want to show your everything that men are?
Hunt this guy down.
You get 60 years if you're all still living.
Do what they did in that movie Star Chamber meet every Wednesday at somebody's
house
get somebody you don't have to do the dirty work
don't get your nails dirty
put a tail on this motherfucker when he's outside
having a pudding pop
I was raped by Cosby you know that
I have a whole bit about that
I remember shaking his
hand after a show. I went to
a show and I woke up. Next thing I know, I woke up
on his hotel floor wearing a Temple University
t-shirt and a pudding
pop wrapper stuck all over my ass.
In addition to
the sexual assault accusations brought
by Andrea Constand,
she was one of the first ones.
She had the most...
I'm not raping you!
This is rape! Shut up and drink your diet Sprite! she was one of the first ones. She had the most... I'm not raping you!
This is rape!
Shut up and drink your diet Sprite!
Anyways,
by Andrea Constand
he has faced
close to five dozen,
that would be 60 other accusations
from women who have claimed the Hollywood star
drugged and assaulted them. Okay? So the Cosby show actress Felicia Richard surprised many on
Wednesday. Really? That surprised you that a black person defended another black person regardless
of what that black person did,
because when it comes to anything that has to do with the races, black and white, and conflict,
they can't be objective to save their lives.
Nick, that's a general. No, it isn't. Shut the fuck up.
Rashad surprised many on Wednesday when she tweeted her support for her former co-star,
praising the court's decision.
Rashad later said, I think she backpedaled a little bit.
She caught so much shit.
Rashard later said, I fully support survivors of sexual assault coming forward.
My post was in no way intended to be insensitive to their truth.
Personally, I know from my friends and family that such abuse has lifelong residual
effects. My heartfelt wish is for healing. Then why would you applaud him being free?
See how words don't, take it easy, Nick, words don't mean anything anymore. She just went out
and said some PC shit to take a little of the heat off her. What you just said contradicted
your first statement, that you were happy it went his way.
Do you understand that, you ignorant fool? Boy, she got old. She used to be a piece of ass.
So did I. Look out. That's the silliest thing I've ever heard.
That's right. I'm doing Groucho. Take a sip of this fucking coffee.
I'm doing Groucho.
Take a sip of this fucking coffee.
I'm doing it again.
Fourth cup of coffee.
Thinking I'm going to go home,
still have the caffeine in me,
and get a good workout in when I will sit down,
stop playing my guitar,
and next thing I wake up,
I have three picks on my chest.
Actress Debra Messing.
We all know what a far left wing.
That's better.
She was a cutie in her day. But this, what a poison liberal nut. Anyways, Debra Messing, we all know what a far left wing, that's better. She was a cutie in her day, but this, what a poison liberal nut.
Anyways, Debra Messing, who hates men because she's a Jewish woman,
disputed former Clinton advisor Peter Dow's assertion,
calling out people who are furious at Bill Cosby walking free,
but who have given President Joe Biden a pass for multiple accusations of sexual misconduct.
And she said that was a false equivalence.
Well, why is that?
Oh, because you vote Democrat and he's the... I never tell anybody outside the Hollywood machine what I think I might be in it.
Rosanna Arquette,
known for her delicious titty balls,
tweeted that Cosby is still an evil rapist.
Now that's more like it.
As she waits for somebody to bust into a hotel room.
Rosie, Rosie. We a hotel room. Rosie. Rosie.
We haven't heard from Rosie.
Rosie O'Donnell.
Tweeted fuck you to Bill Cosby.
Here's where I like Rosie.
Look at the poor thing.
She never had a chance.
She's got Johnny Depp's hair.
Jesus Christ.
Johnny Depp's hair.
And she's got the face of a.
Catcher from the Yankees in the 60s.
She said fuck you Bill Cosby.
Good for you, Rosie.
Let it fly.
Actress Amber Tamblyn, I have no idea, but she's yummy, yummy.
That's the hat I wear to bed when my wife wants to get it out.
Actress Amber Tamblyn claimed the court's decision is proof that women haven't gone
far enough in terms of the hashtag MeToo movement.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
You went too far.
You're wearing a captain's hat.
We all know you're abroad, so you're only a corporal.
Say what?
Anyways, that's kind of a dumb statement.
Really?
Really?
How many guys were falsely accused?
You don't talk about it.
Really?
Fucking Louis lost about $100 million because, you know, because he did something every guy did in a frat part.
Come on with it.
You got fucking Weinstein.
Chicago Hope star Christine Lottie,
who was relevant in the early 40s,
they have seen here her face is 60 years old.
Her tits are about three weeks old.
Yummy, yummy. I don't give a shit if they made
up plywood. Chicago Hope star Christine Lottie tweeted, the patriarchy rears its ugly head yet
again, she says. Oh, she's a victim. Oh, poor you. See how she blames it on the patriarchy.
You know, she couldn't go a little further and say, you know,
another black guy gets off because those are the times we're living in.
That would be a more accurate statement, in my opinion.
The patriarchy.
Ladies, all I have to say to you, if you want to get back,
you have to start raping us.
That will be truly
equity or equality. Start raping us. Drug our drinks. Happened to me in college. I woke up,
girl was raping me. So I called the cops like a year and a half later. I was already out of school.
Cosby in early 90s. Tell me this clip doesn't say a lot.
Cosby in early 90s.
Tell me this clip doesn't say a lot.
I'm trying to think of the comedian that brought it up.
Hannibal Burress.
Remember, he started all this.
Hannibal Burress, a black comic.
And he, you know, he was very honest about this.
He could be objective about it.
Made jokes about it. And that sort of triggered this whole mess.
Isn't that funny?
A young black comic
destroyed the life of a fucking legendary black comic.
Cosby in the early 90s,
we have a clip of him on Larry King,
Spanish Fly for you people who are in your early 12s.
That's a drug the guys used to,
well, I don't know if it was a drug.
It supposedly was the shit you put in a girl's drink
to make her horny.
Today we call that pain thinner no hgb but well mad you know i'm asking maddie's younger than me you know what spanish fly was consisted of when i would be able to talk about it now they act like
it's the same thing as rehythnol it's just a date rape drug but that wasn't it yeah i don't
Yeah, I don't... Anyways, Cosby, tell me this isn't revealing.
This was fucking years and years before all this went down.
This is him on Larry King talking about Spanish fly.
Spanish fly was the thing that all boys from age 11 on up to death,
we will still be searching for Spanish fly.
And what was the old story was,
if you took a little drop,
it was on the head of a pin.
Larry knows.
Coca-Cola, don't matter.
It doesn't make any difference.
And the girl would drink it and she's yours.
Hello, America.
Larry, you see an old black guy and an old Jew laughing about rape.
You put a drop of this in the diet coke.
Larry's like, I tied a girl up with these suspenders once.
Didn't need any drugs.
Unbelievable.
Fucking Larry's laughing.
Pandering Jay.
Put Cosby's face up there again.
Oh, that's when he had a black nose.
I don't care.
He just has a different nose today.
If you see him, it's really white.
I don't care.
Yeah, there it is.
Black man with a white nose.
There's his anger.
I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your There's his anger. I don't like your jerk-off name.
I don't like your jerk-off face.
I don't like your jerk-off behavior.
And I don't like you, jerk-off.
I remember, I was living in New York.
This is 25 years ago.
And I'm talking to somebody in the green room at Caroline's right before, about Cosby.
And they were talking about Cosby.
I said, have you guys been reading?
This was way before this broke.
I said, this room is out there about him raping white women and shit.
And whoever I was talking to agreed and said, yeah, I heard that too or whatever.
I still bet sticks out and that was so fucking long ago.
And it had to be because, I mean, he's got 60 women accusing him.
Ah, boy, oh ah boy oh boy oh boy you know it's weird you know brett butler she's a famous lady very funny she had a show called grace under fire
on abc it was huge hit anyways um i was opening for her in lake Tahoe, and Cosby has a house out there, or did have a house,
and he called her and knew she was in town, because famous people know each other, and she
went out to his house for the afternoon, boy, I would like to get in touch and see what happened,
that would be interesting. I guess nothing.
She came back and she was fine.
Then I try to put some shit in.
Do you remember,
this is in my act, by the way,
I'm doing the joke right now,
so if you guys have seen me,
you've heard me do this,
but the Chinese, once again,
the filthy, sneaky Chinese,
back in the 80s,
they were selling us toys for our kids.
They painted the toys, and in that paint was the HGB the date rape drug I remember this very
clearly because I get kicked out of a nightclub in the 80s I was stirring a
girl's gin and tonic with a Barbie dolls leg and nothing Matt I was a killer that
rocks that kills him all right let's get on to some more black thugs.
Black crime. It's everywhere.
Two black thugs, I mean two black young fellas,
deliver a beating to the United States postman.
Apparently they didn't get their Christmas cards.
A pair of dirt bikers, boy, was this in New York?
I think it was.
Yeah, it's Greenpoint.
In Greenpoint, Brooklyn.
And they're driving black guys on scooters.
What's going on?
A pair of dirt bikers pummeled a postman this week
on a busy Brooklyn street.
A new video released by Cops shows.
The poor postman's doing his job.
Just watch this.
I can't take it no more.
La, la, la. Minding my business.
Now, I guess they had words earlier down the street.
This kid in the white fights like a bitch.
Yeah, back up.
Look at this. Two on one.
Fucking coward motherfucker.
Now here comes a big brother to fucking intervene.
Like a good man.
You look real
tough, right? After you do a beating
and you're wearing a fucking salad bowl
on your head and you get on your little fucking
dirt bike.
This should never
be the sound when you take off after a crime.
Didn't that look silly?
Imagine if he shot or stabbed the guy and then got on that.
La la la.
The 57-year-old
U.S. postman
mail carrier was on his route
in Greenpoint, pushing his car around
6 p.m. Monday when the duo attempted to block
his path. Why am I showing you this? Just to show you more de Blasio damage. This shit's going on in every city
run by libs. Attempted to block his path as he crossed the street. Excuse me. That's how it
started. He's minding his business, doing his job, goes to cross the street, and these guys block him,
doing his job, goes to cross the street, and these guys block him,
sparking an argument.
I don't even get why they'd want to do this.
The victim continued walking, but the pair came up behind him at McGinnis Boulevard and Nassau Avenue.
They sneak up from behind, of course.
That's faggot stuff.
Sure is.
You want to call it by its name, that's strictly for fags.
And they throw the guy a beating.
And luckily, two bystanders stepped in to stop the assault.
You know, thank God somebody cared.
The suspect then fled south on McGinnis Boulevard on their bikes,
on their little Indian dirt bikes.
We need partners.
We need brothers and we need friends.
The victim was taken to a Woodhull medical center in stable condition with broken bones and cuts on his face cops that do you really think uh no
arrests have been made do you really think they're going to pursue that they're letting murderers and
rapists back on the street that's not an exaggeration. No bail. And you really think they're going to go after this because a postman broke a few bones?
What a hellhole.
What a hellhole that city has turned into.
I don't know what you're smiling at, watermelon.
Nothing.
Mind your business.
This is how bad it's got, folks.
As you know, broadcast TV, and I mean NBC, ABC, CBS, they're as liberal
as it gets. I mean, super liberal. They've been lying about race and black crime for years,
and they've been pushing the narrative about cops. You know, nobody watches that shit anymore,
thank God. But somehow ABC, I'm sure somebody's head's going to roll for this,
accidentally let out the truth by doing a story that actually almost,
I don't know, it almost showed cops in a positive light.
They said 200 people fainted when they saw this at home
and banged their heads on a coffee table.
Let's check out this story.
This is what ABC did. People are in shock.
Marcus, thank you.
Now to the surge in violent crime
across the country.
Children are not being spared.
In Statesville, North Carolina,
last night, a 9-year-old girl was killed
and 7- and 10-year-old boys were wounded
in suspected drive-by.
Pause.
9, 7, and 10 in a drive-by.
They didn't say they were caught in a crossfire of a drive-by. Right? They said in a drive-by. They didn't say they were caught
in a crossfire of a drive-by.
Right? They said in a
drive-by.
I gotta believe they would have said crossfire
because they'll do anything to make it
look less worse than it is.
So I don't know. Now do we have
ten-year-olds shooting out?
I don't know. Can you imagine
ten years old being killed?
What the fuck
is going on? We have a culture
problem. Okay?
Nobody wants to fucking say it.
We have a culture problem. Not fucking
guns. Holy
shit. Think about that.
Nine-year-old, ten-year-old girl.
Jesus Christ.
Who's an animal?
Your mother's an animal
You son of a bitch
Go ahead roll
Part
Across the country
Police officers
Are the first to respond
Pause
ABC's chief
What?
What did you just say?
That's when everybody fainted
Cops are the first to respond
I thought they were
Causing all this shit.
You know, them, systemic racism.
Oh, they respond to this shit.
Yes.
They probably gave her a good talking to.
Go ahead.
National correspondent Matt Gutman
with an exclusive look inside the
oakland california pd officers they're racing from one violent incident to another they're chasing a
suspect with a gun right now the first call came in less than 60 seconds after we anytime you see
a story like this and i've uh again i jumped on this about 10 years ago i would say to my wife
i guarantee you because it happened when the cops, the
last couple of years of cops, they always covered the, you know, the lesbian sergeant
or the, that's a woman, by the way, driving the car.
Nick, what does it matter?
Does it really, yeah, it does matter, actually.
Ask male cops who are paired up with even a he-she.
They, but they always cover the gay woman that's the story it's i swear to god the
real story is the b plot they want to show you again you can think i'm crazy but i'm the one
who told you how white guys look like assholes in commercials in 1993 go ahead roll it he left
the precinct we'd come to oakland for an overnight ride along on the so-called dog shift.
When we got to the scene, a suspect was in custody, but he'd allegedly ditched a gun
in a park full of kids.
For this Saturday shift, Lieutenant Lisa Ausmus was in charge of policing the eastern half
of the city.
She only had 38 officers on duty that night for a population of over 200,000 people. Half an hour later, the radio crackling again.
So there's been a shooting.
Somebody's apparently down.
Ausmus racing to assist her team.
She's got a gunshot wound to the head.
Within minutes, Oakland's police chief arriving, telling us the victim had died.
A city of 425,065 homicides so far this year. 38. It's clear that violence is an epidemic
in this community. It's clear that people have too easily access to firearms. Wrong. And they're
overly willing to use them. And it's not just Oakland. A recent survey of 72 cities showing
homicide up nearly 20 percent. In in Chicago nearly 80 people shot over the
weekend six of them fatally and at times 78 this suspect accused of opening fire after an argument
a stray bullet hitting an innocent bystander a 21 year old Marine back in Oakland Chief Armstrong
says there's no easy remedy law enforcement won't be able to fix this problem itself. Violence prevention won't be able to do it itself.
And community won't be able to do it itself.
It's going to take a collective effort from all of us to solve this problem.
And, Lindsey, with the increase of scrutiny on police...
He lost me.
People have access to guns.
No, a certain segment of the population has access to guns.
It's a black culture problem.
Until you fucking fix the illegitimacy rate, nothing is ever going to change.
That's where you start.
Let's quit pretending.
We've been, people have been biting their tongues and hiding that fact for fucking 40 years now.
Who was the senator?
I always bring this up.
Was it Patrick Leahy or Moynihan?
I always confuse this up. Was it Patrick Leahy or Moynihan? I always confuse the two.
Wrote a thing about black poverty in the 60s
and the dissolution of the black family.
Like 1966, he wrote it.
And every word in that is exactly,
nothing has changed.
It's fucking crazy.
Oh, too many people have guns.
Well, whose fault is that?
There's also 100 million NRA members who have guns,
and this doesn't go on.
Then you'll cut to Biden today,
and they'll be trying to blame AR-15s.
AR-15s.
When we know it's handguns,
and it's not the handguns itself.
It's the people.
The fucking people who grew up with no parents
who are running wild on the street.
It's as simple as that.
But you can't say that.
You'll be a bigot and racist.
But everybody in this country knows what the problem is.
It's the big pink elephant stomping through all these blue cities.
Nobody wants to discuss the pink elephant.
This is a comment.
I took a couple comments.
I like to go to the comments after racial stories.
They know what the problem is, and they don't want to fix it.
Why?
Exactly.
Because they created it.
If you talk about the big pink elephant, you're accused of being racist, and then you are
attacked.
Unless we talk about the big pink elephant, the big pink elephant is just going to keep stomping everybody dead. That's it in a nutshell. Maybe Rudy went right after the big
pink elephant and cleaned up New York City in less than a year, which is what he did. I was
there to witness it. You can blame, you know who has the blood on their hands? CNN, MSNBC, ABC,
CBS. That's who. By cherry-picking stories
that made the cops look bad
for the last 30 years,
they created a narrative
that idiots on the left buy into.
This guy says,
I think the big...
Listen, this is a comic.
I think the big pink elephant
is 15 to 34 years old,
likes to listen to hateful rap music,
and loves to wear sneakers.
He's always in the news, yet nobody talks about him.
Strange, huh?
And then another person chimed in, which I don't agree with the first sentiment.
I'm convinced it's genetic.
Quick to anger, propensity for violence.
You're describing every relative I had.
Excessive violence, head violence head stomping the unconscious
that is a black thing uh constantly looking for gratification wearing bright flashy clothes and
trinkets and violently overreacting to perceived disrespect or trespass in one's hood it's tribal
with everyone trying to become the next warlord or serve under the dominant one
Never going to solve this problem without using a greater force and instilling
Uh fear so the last part I kind of agree with but you are correct, sir
But uh as far as genetics, I don't know about that
There's a lot of fucking violent people in every
Not to sound like a lib, but it's culture.
Again, it's culture.
Not skin color, culture.
Let's fix it.
Young black ladies,
quit opening your legs
for the hottest rap star in your city.
And letting him drop his filthy seat in your hole.
Anyways.
More race. Well, kinda. This one pisses me off. This is why I told you the Republicans, my best analogy ever, in my opinion, are the Washington generals. You know,
the team that travels with the Globetrotters and pretends to be their opponents when actually
they're all on the same team. Here's a story that relates. The swamp distorts history once again.
They're passing legislation,
and actually some Republicans agreed with it
to remove Confederate statues in D.C.
Can you imagine this nonsense is still going on?
Do you know that's what ISIS does
and other fucking terrorist violent groups
when they take over an area or a region?
They destroy all the...
It's the first thing ISIS did, blew up statues and stuff that people believed in.
It's the same fucking thing.
Here's a story, a video about the legislation being passed right now.
The days are 285.
Now lookie here.
The days are 120. Now lookie here. The ayes are 120.
The bill is passed.
Without objection, a motion to reconsider is laid on the table.
Wow.
Another black woman with a gavel.
For the love of God, what's going on in this country?
The House passed legislation on Tuesday that would remove artwork from the Capitol
that honors people with legacies of defending slavery, including by serving the Confederacy.
How about the Democrat Party?
You started it, you fucking fools.
Remove yourselves.
You were the party of frigging slavery and Jim Crow and all that other horse shit.
of friggin' slavery and Jim Crow and all that other horse shit.
The 285
to 120 vote was
bipartisan, but
it split Republicans. A minority
of 67 Republicans joined.
They should be taken out and shot.
I mean, flogged.
Can you imagine imagine republicans voting to remove these statues you're just you're just not with the the trump we need you back you fucking people
you have no idea how to defend a nation of course all the Democrats were in support of the bill
while 120 voted against it. Even some Democrats voted against it, yet you got Republicans who
were supposed to know the difference. How are you going to tell your kids and your grandkids, you
left-wing jerk-offs, that this country was racist if there'll be no more signs of it?
Statues are, you know, they catch a moment in time,
and they go, we don't want to go back to that, whatever.
Pigeons get the shit on them, you can pee on them.
That's what they're there for, a release.
We ought not to forget history.
We must learn from history, but we ought not to honor that
which defiled the principles for which we think we stand,
said House Majority Simpleton, Steny friggin' Hoyer.
He's the bill's primary author. This is what he's worrying about.
Okay, this is what he's worrying about. Meanwhile, China is tapping his computers and phones and
Russia's, you know, holding hands with Iran, and he's worried about this.
It's time to remove those symbols of slavery.
Segregate.
Why?
Is that going to make it, now we can say it never happened?
What are you, a child?
Those aren't put up there to fucking brag about them.
And let me tell you, how many thousands of white guys died
fighting to get rid of slavery?
Are they all going to be compensated
when it's reparations time?
Sure, sure they will.
So they're going to remove the symbols
of slavery, segregation, and sedition
from these halls.
Isn't he terrific?
The legislation would order the removal
of more than half a dozen Confederate statues
currently displayed in the Capitol
as part of the National Statuary Hall Collection.
Under the current rules for the collection,
a statue can be removed
only if the state government
that contributed the statue
gives the green light to have it removed.
Those statues include figures such as
Jefferson Davis, the president of the Confederacy,
who sure looks like fucking Lincoln, doesn't he?
Alexander Hamilton Stevens,
not the one that the gay play is about,
the Confederacy's vice president.
And Wade Hampton, a South Carolina planter
who served as a Confederate military officer
and went on to become a governor and a senator.
Boy, the world's going to change once we take them down, huh?
It would further replace a bust of former Supreme Court Chief Justice Roger Taney.
I actually have a bracelet that says, what would Roger do?
bracelet that says, what would Roger do? The author of 1857 Dred Scott ruling that black people lack the rights of citizens, and they're going to replace that with one of Thurgood Marshall,
the first African-American justice. He's not already up there. They don't have a statue of him.
He's whiter than I am, by the way, to serve on the high court. Other statues, that great bowler Dick Weber, the winner of the Othamary Dance Contest, 1978.
Other statues depicting people with histories of defending white supremacy that are singled out in the legislation include my favorite, Charles Aycock, who served as North Carolina governor.
John C. Calhoun, whose name was all over colleges.
Was it Yale?
One of them, I don't know.
The former vice president and member of Congress from South Carolina.
And James Paul Clark.
Jamie Clark, a former senator and governor of Arkansas.
A statue of Robert E. Lee, the Confederate Army commander,
was removed from the Capitol in December and delivered
to Nick DiPaolo's house in Georgia, where he can be seen sitting on the horse.
It was removed in December at the request of Virginia state leaders.
It'll be replaced with a statue of Barbara Eden. I dream of Jeannie.
No, Barbara Johns, a civil rights activist who let a student walk out.
Oh, yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, that's, oh, my God.
To protest school segregation.
She's like, she's a fucking, she's a household name.
Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book. Who the fuck are you?
Are you writing a book?
Who the fuck are you?
Some Republicans argue the legislation
unnecessarily undermined
in states' authority,
especially when some southern states
are already moving
to replace the statues.
You're supposed to get a green light,
like we said,
from the states
that contributed those.
This bill naming statues that are in the process of being replaced
is nothing more than what I believe is an attempt by Democrats
to prematurely thwart the authority of states
in order to claim the moral high ground for themselves.
That's all they do.
Republican Bruce Westerman of Arkansas said that.
Good for you, Bruce.
It's always people from Arkansas, South Carolina.
Republicans opposed the bill also warned that removing Confederate statues could lead to a slippery slope. Unfortunately, Democrats animated by the critical race theory concepts
of structural racism, microaggressions, and the United States based
solely on white supremacy, have chosen to remove the statues that underscore the failures of pre-1861
Constitution. Make no mistake, those who won the West and George Washington are next. Oh,
they've already said that. I mean, they already tried to take down Lincoln.
Republican Matt Rosendale of Montana said that.
It's always the guys that represent 11 people.
Finally, my girl, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, known as MTG,
another conservative firebrand, they call her,
called the legislation a power grab.
She says, all the tyrants throughout history tear down statues
and attempt to erase history in order to reign with an iron fist.
And that is absolutely the truth.
You are correct, sir.
She's not a sir.
She's a blonde chick.
What's the matter with you, man?
Finally tonight, or is that it?
I'll tell you.
Ooh, I'll tell you. Well, you I'll tell you. Let's do one more. This is the shut
your mouth story. What does that mean? Oh, you know. No, Andy Dick. Let's do Andy Dick. Huh?
No, Andy Dick. Let's do Andy Dick.
Huh?
Could I hit this mic one more time?
What do I get, epilepsy?
Andy Dickhead arrested.
Trouble comedian Andy Dick.
I had a good line about him on the Pam Anderson roast.
I said, Andy, pick a hole and stick with it.
Got the haircut, although this doesn't show it.
He had blonde hair. He looks like the third girl in Bananarama.
Trouble comedian Andy Dick
was arrested over the weekend for assault
with a deadly weapon. Again,
the LAPD has confirmed
to page six.
That's as manly as he's ever
looked. He actually looks
like a man there. We have to find
the true... That's the best I've ever seen him look. Throwing your son looks like a man there. We have to find the true, uh, yeah, gee, that's the best I've ever seen him.
Look, not in that picture.
You don't Eliza Jordana revealed, revealed.
Oh, the little cutie.
She's got a podcast.
This is what you got to do to get followers.
All I got to do is put on a one piece bathing suit.
Oh my, she's a kind of a cutie. Elisa Jordana revealed the brutal incident this week on her YouTube show, Kermit and Friends,
saying that Dick assaulted his lover, Lucas, with a metal chair. Hey, who hasn't done that
in a bit of fashion? He could have killed him, she says. Luckily, it was from a Kia and it broke.
What?
They don't make metal shoes.
She suggested that Lucas, whose last name was not immediately available,
was taken to see the Sinai Hospital.
I saw a picture, she said.
I saw a video.
It's not good.
Wow.
The LAPD confirmed to us that Dick, 55, was arrested on June 26.
Jordana went on to describe Dick, who has had numerous issues with substance abuse and run-ins with the law,
as being prone to spinning out of control and getting very aggressive when drunk.
What? This is fucking news?
He's fucking nuts, man.
Put him up. Put him up.
It was getting worse and worse, she says.
Every day there was some kind of problem.
There were signs something was going to happen.
According to Jordana, Dick was just evicted from his home and moved into a hostel.
Or is it a hostile?
Hostile.
Though, she said, he was soon kicked out of the hostel after bringing in a group of 11 people.
All right, get up!
Let's take a look.
Let's give Miss Jordana...
I have to be going in.
Oh, shut up.
Let's take a look at Miss Jordana.
I was going to say give her some ink,
but her show's probably bigger than mine
because she looks much better in the bed than Sue, but let's roll.
Cutie pie.
He was hitting on this waitress so heavily, and I said, Andy, what happened?
I thought you were gay.
What happened to that?
Like, you know, why are you hitting on Sue?
He goes, you're so hot.
I'm going to put you in a movie.
That's what he said to the waitress, And he goes, I really want to fuck you.
And, you know, he's gay.
But then he's not gay at the worst time.
To make me happy.
You have done it without a word.
Without a touch.
Without a sign.
You have done it by just being yourself.
Sure, Donna.
Perhaps, after all, that is what love is.
You're raping me!
This is rape!
Andy, get off her!
This is rape!
Andy!
She also says he recently called her to come to another restaurant where he was eating with friends because they didn't have any money to pay the tab.
And Dick's bail was set at $50,000, according to George, that he made bail Tuesday morning.
Reps for Dick have not responded to requests for comment.
Dick's list of legal issues is long.
In 2019, he was charged with groping a driver from a ride-hailing
service. Well, you can't say Uber or Lyft. In 2018, he pled not guilty to misdemeanor battery
and misdemeanor sexual battery after allegedly groping a woman's buttocks. What the hell is this?
This guy has a problem. You're raping me. This is rape. It is not. I'm grabbing your ass.
He was fired from an indie movie the year before
after being accused of groping cast and crew members.
He denied...
That's why they call it best grip.
He denied the claims he groped,
but admitted I might have kissed somebody on the cheek
to say goodbye and then licked them.
And admitted he propositioned people for sex.
You're supposed to do that to get the part.
That's enough.
Andy Dick, out of his goddamn mind.
I don't know.
That is it for the week, ladies and gentlemen.
Fourth of July this weekend.
I don't know about you guys.
I grew up in Massachusetts, Boston area, and very negative people, especially about the weather.
Everybody up there, even my dad would say, after the fourth, summer's over.
That's what he would say.
Well, kind of true.
I mean, it starts getting dark on June 22nd again, whatever the fuck.
Anyhow, have a great Fourth of July.
Again, suggestions.
Drink as hard as you can, as much alcohol,
and play with those M80s.
One 4th of July story, very funny.
I'm 1978, I'm 16.
We're up at a camp in Maine, and it's 4th of July.
My buddy's got a shitload of fireworks.
We're sitting around a camp in Maine and it's 4th of July my buddy's got a shitload of fireworks we're sitting around a campfire and um
my grandmother
she was probably fucking 89
and sitting with us
and my buddy lights a friggin bottle rocket
and
thing takes off before he was ready
about
it fucking
it goes about 40 feet at 100 miles an hour hits the fucking before he was ready. About, it fucking, it, you know,
goes about 40 feet at 100 miles an hour.
Hits the fucking, what do you call it,
the grill, which has a propane tank under it.
And fucking fizzles on, lands on top of the propane.
We get up, the 20 of us, take off.
Who's sitting there by herself?
All 20, we just took off. Poor Grammy's just sitting there by herself. All 20.
We just took off.
Poor Grammy's just sitting there,
having no idea.
She's going to be a blow into smithereens.
Luckily, the thing just fizzled out.
Oh, my God.
We laughed about that forever.
That is it.
Have a great Fourth of July,
and don't forget
thecomicsgym.com,
nickdip.com,
and cameo.com
if you want me to roast
one of your friends or relatives.
You guys think it, I will say it.
You're very welcome.
We'll see you back here on Monday.
Have a great holiday weekend. ស្រូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រ guitar solo I'm going to go to the bathroom.