The Nick DiPaolo Show - Red Flag Loving Rinos | Nick Di Paolo Show #1227
Episode Date: June 21, 2022Mayor punched by black man. Policeman shoots axeman. More on Uvalde police response. Red Flag gun laws. Kamala gets history lesson. Navy pronoun training....
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🎵 I have Nick the pig as a friend.
When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me.
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hours of darkness, she's standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, dirty panties.
What? How are you, folks? Welcome to the big show.
Filthy Tuesday, sticky, humid, ball-sweating weather. Good to be with you.
What else? Real quick, hockey, anybody watching it other than me? Are you Americans?
Fuck the NBA.
God, it's such a good sport.
Last night, Tampa just took apart a team who beat them 7-0 two nights ago.
And there was fights involved.
And I was just telling Dallas, it just amazes me.
You couldn't have this in the NBA or the NFL.
Yes, I'm partially making a racial statement.
But white guys can beat the shit out of each other,
then line up two minutes, you know, five minutes later
after serving their penalties,
line up next to each other at a face-off
and not even go at it again.
And you just, you don't see that anywhere else.
It's a very, very white thing to do.
I'm not saying whether it's good or bad.
I'm just saying that's how it should be.
Forget about it, you know?
And then at the end of the series in playoffs hockey, they line up, the whole team shakes hands. I'm not saying whether it's good or bad. I'm just saying. That's how it should be. Forget about it. You know?
And then at the end of the series in playoffs hockey, they line up.
The whole team shakes hands.
After beating them.
Some guys are in like three fights in this era.
Two, four, whatever.
And they just go, hey, you got me.
La la ba.
See that?
The NBA.
Or in a fucking project in Chicago.
Nick, what are you saying?
I don't know.
I found a quick clip of, this is from a few years ago. Steve Sweeney, we've had him on, Boston Legend, he's on Joe Rogan's show, and
he's talking to Joe, and he goes, yeah, I just talked to your buddy Nick DiPaolo, he
said when he's on, he does politics, and Joe goes, he can't help himself. The fuck, Joe?
I heard about that a while ago. I don't know what that means. Can't help himself.
I could say the same.
But anyways, let's get going because, you know, it's a nice day out.
And I got an above-ground pool I'm putting in.
Those look really good.
There are white niggers.
I haven't seen a lot of white niggers in my time.
I don't like that type of talk, Junior.
In our RTR segment tonight, Reverse the Races, Louisville Slugger.
Police say Mayor Greg Fischer was punched in the face while talking to someone in the crowd.
I wonder if that was a setup like mine.
Seriously, at a 4th Street Live event.
And again, like I said, well, I guess there was black and
white people there, but you can't have more than five black people within 12 feet of each other.
Something's going to happen. The video shows Fisher falling to the ground after a man punches him.
You can see someone follow the suspect briefly before going back to check on Fisher.
So I guess that wasn't a setup.
But me and Dallas looked at this like the fucking Sapruta film for the last 10 minutes.
At first, when I first saw it on TV, I'm like, oh, that was right to the chin.
But there's no way, because the next day they interviewed the mayor.
His jaw would have been busted, because this guy put some mustard on this.
And he was kind of a big black, naturally black dude.
And then I looked
at it. It looked like it caught him more on the upper chest, which makes sense because he's not
marked, doesn't have a broken jaw. Then again, we watched it five times. It looked like maybe
it glanced off the side of his, he might've done one of these and went off the tip of the chin to
the chest maybe. I don't know brothers that aim for your chest when they're going to sucker punch
you. You know what I mean?
And I'd like to know why. And again,
you're not going to hear about this. You might
see it on Fox or
One America or whatever. You're not
going to hear. Reverse
it, folks. Reverse the goddamn
races. White guys sucker punching
I don't know, Black
Mayor. Yeah, Adams or
Lori Lightfoot. She's a guy.
Probably has a better chin than all these
fucking guys.
But just picture a white guy
doing that to a black mayor. Are you
fucking kidding me? It would be on
a loop 24 hours a day.
I'm not exaggerating. The next six months. Until
the midterms. Hate crime.
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.
This is, you know. they say that they don't
have the suspect in custody are you fucking kidding me i could describe his goddamn belt buckle
he just casually walks away yeah where are the cops it's an event it's a public event i don't
see the cops um just again the double and triple standard. I'm so
sick of pointing it out. Take a look. Here it
is.
La la la. Oh, it's
the mayor, motherfucker. Bang!
You got knocked the fuck
out, man!
One more time.
Again, it looks like most
of it catches his upper chest.
Boom! Again, it looks like most of it catches his upper chest. Boom.
What a fucking chicken shit.
Is that a brother?
Going after a brother right there?
I think it is.
Big bald dude.
Might be.
But you don't have
him in custody? Jesus
Christ, he got more camera time than I have
in my whole showbiz career.
Fucker. Again, and again,
don't forget, folks, even if
they do get him in custody. No bail,
whatever, fucking, you know what I mean?
I mean, you can get
busted with a gun
and they let you out on the street.
So, you know, whatever.
It's just, I can't take no more.
Anyways, EMS evaluated the mayor, and they said he's as retarded as ever.
No, immediately determined he did not need medical treatment, so I know it was a glancing blow.
Because that's a concussion at a minimum.
You remember, I was sucker punch by a fucking a girl. Again, a girl who literally has emotional
problems and her old man set me up beautifully. And don't think I've forgotten that.
You're not watching, but don't worry. I'm half Italian. Yeah. I'll see you, I don't worry I'm half Italian yeah I'll see you I don't know
maybe a year from now maybe a week from now when I'm 78 but seriously I told my
wife if I'm in a nursing home or I'm fucking losing my mind you drive me up
to fucking New Jersey I know where anyways security was with him when it
happened so they did a bad.
Boy, security's knocking it out of the park between Ovaldi and, how do you not?
Isn't security standing right next to?
What are they doing?
Enjoying the cotton candy?
Security was with him when it happened, according to Jessica.
Weathington, director of communications for the mayor's office.
Weathington released a statement.
First of all, Louisville's a pretty black town, right?
So they get a white mayor.
So, you know, you can't call them racist or whatever.
Then again, it's all fixed, isn't it?
Forget what I said.
Washington released a statement reading in part, while it's not appropriate to comment
on specifics of that security detail, you don't have to.
We figured out it's always being evaluated and
adjusted as needed is it really you might want to stop adjusting there have been no changes made to
the mayor's events what you can't tell me the mayor didn't get security together right after
that go you're fired you're fired you're're fired. What do you mean, man?
You're fired.
Come on, man.
You're fired.
The mayor's office did not address how the suspect was able to get past security and escape.
Yeah, God forbid.
Walk?
Exactly.
He didn't even have a getaway.
He didn't even run.
The theory is he's casually strolling.
He could have been moonwalking to show off.
That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that i'm gonna answer well we want answers why wasn't he apprehended police are
still looking for the suspect louisville metro police department released these photos like i
said the guy got more camera time than fucking uh mike lindell released these photos uh over
the weekend and and there he is, you know.
You can't tell me. It's a choice. It's really creepy right now. That's a white guy getting
punched, a mayor, and it's like, eh, those are the times, and it's not going to change until Biden
gets the fuck out of there.
And even then, I wonder.
We caught up with Fisher on Sunday, that's the mayor,
as he was attending an awards gala
and putting his eye socket together with some glue.
And he was in good spirit.
Now, this pisses me off as much as the incident does.
This is such a typical white Democrat
because, again, the perp was black.
Here's what he had to say.
You know, we're living in strange times all across America right now.
And I think, you know, I have the honor of being right in the middle of it
and have the mayor's office to help people and lift people up.
So, you know, the only thing you can do forward is just keep moving forward
in a compassionate and kind way, and things take care of themselves. And, you know, occasionally only thing you can do forward is just keep moving forward in a compassionate and kind way.
And things take care of themselves.
And, you know, occasionally in life, things happen.
So when they happen, you know, you get knocked down.
You got to get back up and keep going.
That's faggot stuff.
You want a call by its name?
That's strictly for fags.
Here's what he should have said.
You know, these motherfuckers are violent.
It's amazing I haven't been killed being the mayor of this city.
It's going on in all cities
that have the same politics as me,
the mayors do.
Some red states it happens,
but not to the extent,
and you can look at the numbers.
And he should have said,
we can't stand for this
because today it's me, tomorrow it's somebody in a grocery store. That's what he should have said, we can't stand for this because today it's me,
tomorrow it's somebody in a grocery store.
That's what he should have said.
Ah, come on.
Forget about it.
By God's be.
You got to move forward.
Shut the fuck up.
If that was a white guy sucker punching,
let's say,
one of his black female aides,
I'm sure he would have taken this.
Hey, shit happens, right?
Get up, Mary.
Put your teeth back in and quit
your bitching fucking believable good security work there though let's stay
they didn't do much but I'll show you a guy who did do a lot this is I gave it the headline, great police work if you ax me. That's right.
And not the A-K-S.
No, A-X-E, folks.
A-X-E, because you'll see the guy has a tomahawk he stole from Liz Warren's basement.
Fucking Cherokee cunt.
Here we go.
A pulse-pounding body camera footage shows the moment of an Illinois man lunges towards an officer with an axe
during a traffic stop before he is fatally, ooh, he's fatally shot.
Danger, Will Robinson.
Danger.
No, Will Robinson.
Danger.
The newly released video released last week
by the Naperville Police Department,
and I think I've bragged about this before,
but Naperville sticks out in my mind for a very...
I was right in the midst of my comedy career.
I had a couple specials on Comedy Central.
Weight was down. Young, handsome.
Got laid four times at Naperville in one week.
Came home a chlamydia.
Before I was married or even,
I didn't even have a girlfriend at that time.
A girl blew me under a hairdresser thing.
She owned a hairdresser salon thing.
And we went there after the show
with a couple of her friends.
I'm in a thing.
Being silly, the girls blow me.
I mean, that would be chapter one if I was ever famous in the book.
And I remember her friend and two waitresses.
Yeah, one of them had a clammy clam.
Let's move on.
Even today, I look at the fucking video from that nightclub,
and I say, what cologne was I wearing?
How was I wearing my hair?
Naperville Police Department shows a terrifying June 3rd incident.
The officer involved, a 22-year veteran of the force who has not been identified, was conducting a traffic stop. This was weird, man. When a silver sedan pulled up
alongside the officer and the other vehicle, police said, the driver of the sedan can be heard
making an inaudible comment on the body camera footage to which the officer responds,
who are you, dude? Who are you? Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book? Who the fuck are you? Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book?
Who the fuck are you?
Dash cam footage from the officer's squad car shows Edward C. Saman, 28,
the driver of the silver car,
open his door as he rolls up to the scene
before closing it,
putting his vehicle in park,
and then opening it again.
The body-worn camera then shows Saman
wordlessly exit the sedan and begin to sprint towards the officer, an axe in his right hand.
The officer steps backwards and draws his gun and does what good cops do.
Saman keels over and hits the ground at the fourth shot.
And if you don't believe all the stuff I just told you, we have pictures, we have clips.
Let's go to them.
Oh, look at that.
There's the axe.
What the fuck?
Who are you, dude?
Who are you?
Who are you?
Thanks.
I've just been attacked.
Shots fired. Shots fired. Don't move.
He's talking to the people, the guy he pulled over.
He said, don't move.
This is weird.
You think it's dangerous being a cop today?
I'd like to do a follow-up. This seemed like a random guy who hates
cops. Could have been.
Right? I'm guessing.
I don't think he knows the guy the cop pulled over.
But we have another angle,
a better view.
Can I show this shit, by the way?
Yeah, we're good. I'll just
take it off the YouTube-friendly version.
Everything else is fine, though.
The YouTuber, the one that everybody watches.
I can't show real-life shit.
What the fuck? Fuck the Internet.
Remember, it was going to be the Wild West on the Internet.
No censoring, no...
Fuck it, I might as well be working at ABC at 8 o'clock.
See more violence on the Disney channel.
Fuck.
How can you not show this everywhere?
Anyways, I got a better angle. Let's take a look.
Can you fucking imagine? everywhere? Anyways, I got a better angle. Let's take a look. Can you fucking imagine?
What is this guy thinking?
Look at the cop.
Hand on gun.
Oh.
Hey, he crossed his legs.
You guys, do you know where you've seen that before?
You got to laugh your balls off.
Remember Scarface?
They're up in the motel.
And then so-and-so chases him down.
Tony chases the guy down on the street and shoots him in the chest.
Remember when he falls and he crosses?
That must happen.
That must be like a nervous thing.
Anyways, the cop said to this guy,
Bye-bye, dickhead.
You see?
And again, I'll say this again.
I watch tons of shows on TV, cop videos, and I don't see the cop.
Even when you pull somebody over at night, why you wouldn't?
I'd have my gun out, but you need two hands, I guess.
I would have my goddamn gun out.
They have to change.
Luckily, that was during the day.
What if he couldn't see the ax?
You know what I mean?
And then he shoots the guy, and the guy either doesn't have it
or hasn't. Now you're in deep shit.
This guy luckily came
charging like he was on a horse.
Well, yeah, exactly. And used to before all this
bullshit. Essentially, if somebody's
making a move towards you, period, it doesn't matter if they
got a weapon or not. They're making an aggressive move towards you.
Right. Yeah.
Now, you know, the cops are responsible for everything so anyway i thought that was handled the way it should have been according
to police saman that's the guy with the axe was transported to an area hospital where he was
declared dead even though he wasn't the doctor said fuck him no i kidding. It's always a bad sign when your
beard's climbing up to your eyes.
The officer was
uninjured in the altercation. You don't say.
Good for him.
And again,
that involved
a couple of white guys, so you won't hear about
that. If that was a black dude,
even with an axe,
you'd be hearing about it. And a year from now, they'd count it as unarmed because it wasn't a gun. I don't know. The last name's kind of throwing me a little bit.
Saman, S-M-A-A-N. Yeah, well, between that and the fucking beard.
What are you saying, Nick? Could be a Greek woman.
What are you saying? It could be a Greek woman.
No, I get your drift.
I should have Googled Saman.
That's my first move anyways.
We have another story later in the encore for you people who pay monthly
where I have questions about
the cab driver. Anyways,
let's go from,
I think that was great police work.
That was very Beretta-like. Can you imagine?
Or suicide by cop, folks.
Suicide by cop.
It could have been, I don't know.
Well, it is actually an Arabic name.
All right, case closed.
Guilty.
An axe of an Arabic.
What are you doing?
It's supposed to be a long saber that you got from Mohammed's
chest, something. Anyways, here's, so that was a cop being a good cop and, I mean, you
know, saving his own life. Can you imagine though, you're going to go home and tell you
what, yeah, I was almost killed today. It's the middle of the afternoon. This country
is out of control. Anyways, here's some cops that, the more we find out about Uvalde school
shooting, the more it looks sort of like Parkland in Florida. Remember the jerk-off guy stood
outside, didn't do his job? Well, these guys are making him look like fucking Mannix. There's
a reference from the 70s. Multiple officers were inside Robb Elementary School this is in Uvalde remember
with rifles inside the school
cops with rifles and at least one
ballistic shield at
11.52am the day of the shooting
new video and other evidence shows
it's funny how this happened how many weeks
ago two months ago already and
shit's still trickling out
which tells you what folks cover cover
cover they didn't enter the classroom they were in and shit's still trickling out, which tells you what, folks? Cover, cover, cover.
They didn't enter the classroom.
They were in the school, shield, guns,
didn't enter the classroom for another 58 fucking minutes.
What the hell's going on out here?
Investigators believe this is significant
because it indicates they had more than enough firepower and protection to enter the classroom before they did.
Officers were growing impatient far sooner.
Quoting one of the cops, if there's kids in there, we need to go in there, one said on body cam, and the rest responded.
on body cam and the rest responded Now I know
you're sitting there going, yeah Nick, it's easy for you
to say it, but, but, but, no, no, no, no, no, no
no, no, no, no, no, you chose to be
a fucking cop. You know what it entails.
That is your job.
Okay?
Dereliction of duty.
Yes, you're going to put your life on the line.
You might have saved a bunch of duty. Yes, you're going to put your life on the line. You might have saved a bunch of kids.
You chose that for a living.
That comes with a job.
It's like opening a pizza shop and going,
I'm not touching cheese.
What the fuck are you talking about?
What a horrible analogy.
Surveillance video from inside Robb Elementary School shows that police never attempted to open either of the two classroom doors.
Oh, it's too noisy in there.
Housed the shooter, mass murderer, and his victims.
The two classrooms, they wouldn't open the door.
You're fired.
You're fired.
You're fired.
I hope so.
And you blew it! You blew it. Let's fired. You're fired. I hope so. And you blew it!
You blew it.
Let's follow their careers and see.
And again, it'll get swept under the rug
because we have the attention span of crack babies in this country.
Something else will come along to distract us.
Maybe another shooter.
And again, yes, dangerous, dangerous.
Good chance of you getting killed when you open the door and you go in there.
But again, I didn't sign up for it.
That's why I'm sitting behind here telling dick jokes at midnight of your 30s.
Don't look at me.
I tell you, no fucking kids.
Well, look at you now, you stupid fuck.
Yeah, your guy, oh my, he's a piece of shit, you know.
I had to cancel his contract.
Anyways, anyhow, speaking of guns, speaking of guns,
you know how I'm starting to hate Republicans more and more?
I should have caught on a long time.
Again, I'm not even, I don't know, libertarian, you can say,
but they have no answers.
Constitutionalist, that should be the new part.
Well, that's a good point.
That's what they're supposed to be.
Republicans are closer to that than the other schmucks,
but there's some who are just phony fucks.
I told you, nobody's come up with a better analogy
so I can trump my shitty one,
but they are the Washington generals, Republicans.
The Harlem Democrats are the Harlem Globetrotters,
and the Republicans travel with them.
And remind me to put that in my act if I ever find the club to work shit out in.
Folks, you never see me again.
I'm in a Louie movie soon, but that might be it.
I'm picking up the clarinet next week.
The guitar is getting too difficult.
Members of the Republican Party are embracing, what was the headline?
Something rhinos?
Red flag rhinos. are embracing, what was the headline? Something, RINOS? Red Flag RINOS. Members of the Republican Party are embracing so-called red flag laws,
which is a euphemism, and it is, you can't argue this,
for the creation of a separate legal system
designed to target a single class of Americans, gun owners,
and exact a severe penalty, gun confiscation,
would be that penalty.
That's exactly right.
You fucking people.
You have no idea how to defend a nation.
Ten, get it? Not five, not four, not seven, not eight, not nine.
Ten Republican senators announced they reached the framework
of an agreement with Democrat leaders.
This is called do something to make it look like we're doing something.
For a historic platform of new gun control laws to be rushed through Congress.
This is what's amazing.
You're supposed to have a say in this, folks.
It's your government.
Rush through Congress without the benefit of robust hearings or debate.
In other words, the way the Dems do it.
Emotional reaction.
Fuck, be damned, Constitution and whatever else.
Let's just get something out there so our constituents will say, at least they're trying.
So no benefit of robust hearings or debates, which is, they're so power fucking crazy.
Who the fuck do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who the fuck do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who the fuck? That was you are? Who do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are? Who do you think you are? Who the fuck?
That was Rand Paul yelling at Nancy Pelosi.
Let's start with a constitutional argument.
Red flag laws, and this is true if you don't know what they are,
allow the government to seize guns from people alleged to be dangerous.
Alleged to be dangerous.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Which you could consider me to be dangerous. Alleged to be dangerous. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Yeah.
Which you could consider me to be that.
Any veteran, combat veteran, easily.
Yeah, I just realized that a few days ago.
I'm fucking shitting my pants over here.
Nothing.
It's an inside joke between me and Doug.
The evidentiary hurdle is shockingly low.
A single uncorroborated accusation or complaint about the gun owner's mental health history.
You hear that?
Uncorroborated.
So you can go, he's a little fucking nuts.
My neighbor, you get pissed at him because he's parking in front of you.
You know what?
He's a fuck.
I thought I heard him beating his wife.
Uncorroborated.
Mental health history or current behavior
will suffice to take away his guns.
Folks, you're eliminating due process.
That's what the red flag blogs are about.
And by the way, it only goes after gun owners
because the bad guys don't buy their fucking guns
and aren't on a register.
So you can't find them to confiscate.
You're going after the wrong gun owners.
Often the gun owner, but again, it looks good to us,
ostensibly, you know.
Often the gun owner is not even notified of the accusations
leveled against him or allowed to participate
in the initial hearing deciding his fate.
You can't participate in your own hearing.
That's very American, huh?
You fucking Dems and Republican rhino fucks.
Enjoy your last days in office. That's right, the gun owner may not even be aware that his
constitutional rights to keep and bear arms is under attack. So he can't contest or refute the
allegations made against him or challenge the accuser's credibility. You believe this shit? I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!
Speaking of...
That's a nice flag, by the way.
I'll take out the red circle of the line and get a tattoo of me.
Put a picture of Pelosi's mouth sucking on it
like a fucking hog that she never sucked.
Speaking of Constitution...
Did I say hog? When's the last time you heard that?
Speaking of constitutional, did I say hog? When's the last time you heard that? Speaking of constitutional rights,
many of these gun confiscation laws
deny the accused effective
due process rights, like I just said.
The right to keep and bear arms is
a fundamental constitutional right
on par with other
fundamental rights, such as the right to life,
liberty, speech, and religion. Just a few of those
minor details that Democrats can't stand. And rhinos, by the way. Sorry, Democrats. The Supreme Court affirmed
that in the 2010 case, McDonald versus Burger King, the what? No, McDonald versus Chicago.
This means the government cannot infringe on your right to keep and bear arms, even temporarily, without respecting due process protections,
such as notice of the hearing.
They got to tell you, you know,
a way to show up and how to defend yourself.
The opportunity to be heard
and to cross-examine witnesses.
The right to counsel,
the right to call relevant witnesses,
and the right to discover evidence.
You can't do any of that
under the fucking red flag.
Counselor!
Do you believe that shit?
Counselor!
Make me sick.
These red flag or gun confiscation laws
also violate the Fourth Amendment's
guarantee against unreasonable searches and seizures.
And again, this abandonment of constitutional protections applies only to who?
Gun owners.
Not to somebody who could run people over in a parade,
who's been known to fucking use a knife or whatever.
You could call it, you know what I mean?
Or an ax man.
There you go.
No, good point.
Or an ax man.
Not body, ax, body spray.
We're talking about, there are many reasons red flag laws don't make sense.
Here's a few of them.
First, these laws apply only to gun owners and the sole remedy is to take the guns.
That's the, that's what they want.
If an individual poses a danger to others but doesn't possess firearms, these laws don't
do anything to stop that doesn't possess firearms. These laws don't do anything to
stop that person from committing harm. A dangerous and mentally unstable individual can kill and harm
many people without guns. We know that. Second, we already have a federal law in place that disarms
those adjudicated, dangerous, and mentally impaired. We've had this law for decades. 1968, Congress passed a law,
specifically 18 U.S.C. 922G4, that makes it unlawful for anyone adjudicated as a mental
defective, how did I get a gun, or who has been committed to a mental institution to possess
firearms or ammunition. That's already on the books.
I'm not crazy. I just don't give a fuck. Oh, that's close enough. And third, why red flag
laws are stupid. Red flag laws create a system that is ripe for abuse, angry neighbors, ex-spouses,
and political enemies. Okay. You don't think... Fucking Bezos' wife will go, ah,
fucking Amber Heard will say, he hit me in the... And nobody will believe her. And political enemies
can exploit red flag laws to swat gun owners as means of seeking revenge out of spite or simply
as harassment. So these red flag, they're susceptible to being abused. The cost to
accusers is essentially nothing, which is unbelievable. You know what I mean? It's like
accusing a guy of date rape, but then you get off scot-free, which happens on college campuses.
Given that the government encourages people to see something and say something,
vindictive claimants will have little difficulty saying they were acting for innocent reasons.
I'd like to see this happen to those rhinos.
This is what I'd like to see happen to these rhinos.
We do it today.
We line them up and I just, oh, I'm so angry.
You shouldn't show shit like that.
My dad used to slap me like that cop slapped that lady.
And I had a fresh mouth, so let's be honest.
The old man would crack me, and my ears would ring for a good couple hours.
He had that fucking lightning right hand that those Marines were.
I've told this story a thousand times.
I don't think I'm... Thanks, it wasn't thanks.
It was a Sunday, we had my sister's in-laws over,
and I was in a pissy fucking mood, had a fight with my mother.
And then she goes, you want salad?
And I go, what kind of lettuce is...
Just to be...
Father's two seats away. Bang! And I go, what kind of lettuce is it? Just to be a.
Father's two seats away.
Bang!
So much so that it didn't bother me.
I look at my sister's father.
He's laughing so hard, his eyes are welling up.
He goes to me, you fucking deserve that.
What a family, huh?
It was like a scene in, you know what, Saturday Night Fever.
Don't hit my hair.
Make me a sandwich.
Make me a fucking sandwich.
Oh, yeah.
Make me a sandwich.
Make me a sandwich tonight.
In our shut up and make me a sandwich segment,
Vice President Camel Toe Harris bungled,
that's what they call it, you know, in the chat rooms,
they think they're being funny. Bungled a history lesson. The poor girl. I'm almost, who am I kidding? I hope she dies tonight in a house fire. Harris bungled a history lesson about the Juneteenth. Hey, let's
come around. Can we do, we have Black History Month, Juneteenth. They want to push some more
shit. And do you guys know why they do that? Just to keep it in the, to remind you.
That's all that is, to remind you white people how evil this country was and is.
That's all that is.
They'll come up with 19 more.
Black toenail day on November 11th.
Juneteenth holiday, Monday, telling kids that black people were enslaved in America.
This is what she said for
400 years.
Oversteading
the actual time period by
more than 150 years. And I can see
a racist going, yeah, she's way off.
150.
She had
150 years.
Although, anyways.
Let's take a listen to the most empty, this broad makes,
I don't know, Jessica Simpson sound like a rocket scientist.
Pick any dizzy fucking reference, not from 1850 like I just did.
Listen to this stupid, not even black, Canadian Indian.
As we all know, today is a day to celebrate
the principle of freedom
and to think
about it in terms of the context
of history
knowing that black people in America were not
free for 400 years of
slavery but then at the
end of slavery
when that
declaration happened when the proclamation that America slavery
for his kids
shoot up to two six hundred somebody catcher
about this time
only and only
that's not only tell a lady but the way that she eats in front of folks like a
bird. And I...
The first African slaves...
Oh, God, Kamala.
How did she become the... Oh, I forgot.
She slept her way to the top.
Prosecuted in L.A.
Head D.A., whatever the
fuck you were. Putting black people in jail for
marijuana fucking charges.
The first African slaves in the American colonies,
you all know this, arrived in 1619 in Virginia.
Slavery was abolished through the 13th Amendment,
which was ratified in when, folks?
1865, ending 246 years.
Again, not a good number, but it ain't 400 years of the practice.
Not 400.
You might want to look that shit up.
Hey, Kamala, there's a thing called Wikipedia, you dumb nipple biter.
You can fucking go over that before you talk to kids like they're retarded.
And then a White House official acknowledged Harris's error, telling the Post, we didn't know she was a dumb cunt when we hired her.
That the vice president was referring to 400 years since slavery began.
Yeah, I'm sure she was.
I think Aerosmith did a cover of that.
Keep in touch with Mama Kennedy.
Anyways, I would argue it is our God-given right to have freedom.
It is your birthright, this is her talking, to have freedom.
And then during slavery, freedom was taken. And so we're not going to celebrate being given back what God gave us.
Anyway.
It's freedom, baby, yeah.
I don't even understand.
So instead we'll just take everyone else's freedom.
That's how I see it.
I'm sorry, Camel Toe Johnson.
Yeah, bitch, you're dumber than a bag of hammers.
All righty.
Kamala, it's all about race and gender.
We haven't talked about gender in about a nanosecond, have we?
Let's bring that up.
What's the headline?
Oh, this is a delicious one.
Navy, still home of the queers.
That's horrible.
Anchors away! That's the army That's horrible. Anchors away!
That's the army guy saying that. Anchors away!
Anchors away is just a
euphemism put in a butt plug.
We're pooping it out.
We're shitting it out. Now how Dallas knows that, I don't know.
I get the
dissolvable ones.
You know, they make...
It's like sticking a pixie stick in your ass.
What?
The Navy is training its members to create a safe...
Hey, take safe spaces, stick them up your mother's box.
Sideways, so it rips.
I can't...
Adults using the phrase safe spaces, in the military by the way.
You know what the military is designed for? To go into places that aren't safe.
Unsafe spaces is where you make your living. To create safe space. You think there's really
any dangerous space? Not even metaphorically create a safe space by using proper gender pronoun.
This is what our military is looking at.
As Putin, China.
China's got about a billion soldiers sharpening their blades.
Gut laughing.
They watch our shit, our promos, and they put them on TV like sitcom.
Creating safe by using proper gender... Nobody is playing along, gay folks,
trans folks, whatever,
whoever's doing the bit.
Nobody's playing along.
You're outnumbered.
You can say it as much as you want.
This is, again, another
example of a takedown of the United States.
But this is Marxist shit,
folks. This isn't just
PC shit from Dem...
This is Marxist, classic Marxist
shit. And now they're doing
it in the Navy. How
dare they? Oh, you
suck ball cheese.
McHale's Navy theme ain't playing. God damn it. Anyways,
here's the new, I'm going to show you the video and guys fucking wearing the sweater I had on like
mother gave me that for Christmas. I knocked her out. Here's the new instructional video,
which is modeled after a children's show you got the broad on the right a little you can tell she
century 21 jacket and um then this guy on the left holy moly he looks like the uh he looks like the
Iranian Mario Lopez ever notice ever watch Mario Lopez, every hotel
you go, you put on, and he's
plugging the movies? He can't put his hands
down. He's flexed the whole,
guys, watch, you're going to die.
He's always like this when he's talking.
It's the best movie ever.
I'm telling you,
the acting.
I don't know who he's kidding
either. Good guy, though. Good looking kid, but
anyway, this is a beautiful sweater.
Honey, if you're watching,
get me, I want ten of those
and two gallons of gasoline and a
Bic lighter. Nick, what are you saying?
I don't know. This,
I'm not making this shit up, folks. This is
the Navy's,
this is a military little video to
teach you about pronouns. Again,
this is...
We're witnessing... I can't
get Biden out of
the picture fast
enough. Take a look at this and try
not to throw blood on your sheets.
Hi, my name is
Johnny and I use she, him pronouns.
Hi, and I'm Conchi and I use she, her
pronouns. We're here to talk about pronouns.
What is a pronoun?
A pronoun is how we identify ourselves
apart from our name
and it's also how people refer to us in conversations.
Using the right pronouns
is a really simple way to
affirm someone's identity.
It is a signal of acceptance and respect.
If it's a signal of
acceptance and respect, how do we a signal of acceptance and respect,
how do we go about creating a safe space for everybody?
That's a good question.
A really good way to do that is to use inclusive language.
Instead of saying something like, hey guys,
you can say, hey everyone.
We didn't get the slutty yet, cunt lapper.
Yeah, and now that you say that,
another way that we could show that we're allies
and that we accept everybody is to maybe include our pronouns in our emails or, like we just did, introduce ourselves.
Pause.
How about if I include the pronouns, the new ones, in the death threat letter I'm sending to you?
Hey, they.
I'm going to cut your cock off tonight.
Please give me cock.
Okay, let him talk some more so we can pretend to care
using our pronouns but what would i do if i uh misgender someone you do this i think the first
thing to recognize is that it's not the end of the world you correct yourself and move on or you
accept the correction and move on the most important thing i can tell you is do not put
the burden of making you feel good about your mistake. All right, enough. I can't, I can't take it no more.
Guys, this is for our Navy to watch. I'll say it again. Back in the fifties, the Christian right
was, that's where the, the left came up with phrases like homophobic. Words they made up, by the way.
And all that shit.
And maybe they were, you know, a little... But the big fear of those Christians back then were,
they're going to come for our children eventually.
Well, that's the part of the playbook.
Children and military, which is the social petri dish where everything's experimented.
There you go.
You heard that from Dallas.
You know who told him that? His life partner, Kevin,
this morning. Joe.
Oh, it's Joe? You done with Kevin?
Opened his ass like a ripe honeydew.
Yep.
What a childish show.
I can't wait to go outside.
Anyways, I'm going to
read some responses.
That's my favorite part.
You see an article online like this, or a clip, and then you read, you know,
I don't know if it was on Twitter or whatever, but here's some people commenting.
What kills me about this and the whole pronoun thing in general
is whoever hears or reads their pronouns.
Pronouns are used when someone's talking about you.
You're not even there,
which is a great point. They don't say to you. They go, he was a great baseball. I couldn't tell you the last time this person says, I read or heard someone use pronouns referring to me.
Yes, and this is what gets me about Zoom calls, another person says, where people announce their pronouns. You see a
ton of that now. How often on a call does someone refer to you as something other than you or your
name? You know what I mean? But when you see these, oh, look at the picture. Look at that.
They actually took time to do that. Can you, what an insult. Was it World War II?
This was taken right after World War II in New York.
Can you fucking imagine?
You guys, that's gross.
You should have been funny about it.
You should have been jacking each other off.
Something.
That's, I like that.
And then somebody else said, it's a progressive religious right.
This is designed to signal virtue nothing
more yes and this was the best response this guy he's got his dead life partner on that bed
i caught him with a figure skater from france yes partly virtue signaling but listen to this
guy's rather than, but also control
over the rest of us. And here's
what people would go, oh, you're paranoid,
you're tinfoil hat,
conspiracy nut. No, no, no,
no, no. It's right before our eye.
Signaling, but also control
over the rest of us as part of the movement's
cultural totalitarianism.
Exactly
right.
Hit it right on the goddamn head.
Anyhow,
they have to be laughing
at Russia and China and
anywhere. France is going,
we're going to have to save them.
And we have a fucking...
As Archie Bunker said
about England, it's a fag country.
Alright, folks, that's enough for today I thought that was a good show
moved right along felt good maybe I'll
send it to a
I don't know MTV and I can get my own
reality show anyways
don't forget to sign up at thecomicsgym.com
I've been told
that the app the comics gym app
has not been working
and I'm going to have a phone call tonight with people in charge of that here I've been told that the app, the Comics Gym app, has not been working.
And I'm going to have a phone call tonight with people in charge of that here.
In marketing the show and other things.
Because that's on all the platforms.
You know, you used to get Hulu and all that shit.
Thecomicsgym.com You can sign up there, be a monthly member.
Also, patreon.com You can sign up there. Be a monthly member. Also, Patreon.com.
You can sign up there.
Then you can go to my website, NickDip.com, and buy stuff or whatever.
See where I'm going to be.
And finally, Cameo.com.
If you want me to roast a friend or relative.
I got picked up this weekend.
I got a couple.
Go to Cameo.com.
I'll put a little video together saying happy birthday.
And we'll rip the person a new asshole if you want me to.
It's fun.
People love it.
Anyways, that's it, you guys.
Think it, I'll say it.
You are very welcome.
We'll see you back here the same time tomorrow.
Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music