The Nick DiPaolo Show - Red Sox 2018 World Series Champs
Episode Date: October 29, 2018Anti-Semite, Anti-Immigrant, Anti-Trumper Kills 11. McDonald’s Gunman Killed By Armed Dad, I’m Lovin’ It. Thaaaaaaaa Sawx Win!...
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Música Monday, how are you?
I can't hear myself, fellas.
Let's get a little juice in there, huh?
So I can, my headphones or whatever.
Come on.
All right, right there.
Beautiful.
833-599-NICK 833-599-6425 on a monday how are you folks
great to be with you streaming live on facebook and youtube i hope i don't know i see the twinks
in there in a feverish pitch so i don't know we do it live we We do it live. We'll do it live. We'll do it live!
Fuck it! Do it live!
I'll write it and we'll do it live!
Fucking thing sucks!
I'm as mad as hell
and I'm not gonna take this anymore!
You heard him.
How you doing?
Good? Good.
Shout out to Chris Moran signing up at the michael corleone level chris thank you so much can't do it without you guys appreciate it very much uh dates
live tour dates you can get them at nickdip.com but uh this friday and saturday not sunday november 2nd and 3rd governor's 11th town long
island tuesday november 6th fat black pussycat new york city friday november 9th and 10th comics
mohegan sun unconsville connecticut saturday november 17th the comedy shop bud lake new jersey
friday november 30th and saturday de December 1st the Corner Comedy Club in Niagara Falls,
Ontario, Canada.
New Year's Eve, Monday, December 31st
Tarrytown Music Hall in Tarrytown, New York.
Saturday, January 12th
Fairfield Theatre Company.
Fairfield, Connecticut and Saturday,
January 19th, Bobby V's
Windsor Locks, Connecticut.
Hope to see you all there.
I was at Lucy's in Pleasantville, New York,
about 11 minutes from my house this week.
It was a Saturday night, and it was, I've got to be honest with you,
I had one of the most killer sets I've had in a long time.
It's a small room.
And first of all, Friday night, they send out storm warnings here in Westchester,
Faggy, Westchester County, saying,
you better stay in tomorrow night because there's going to be power lines down.
It was a light mist.
I mean, when did we become so soft?
I dropped a sugar cube in my driveway at like noontime on Saturday.
It was still there at 5.30.
So, let's start with the horseshit, but
what a good time.
Rock the house, silly.
Funny guy, Josh Kincaid opened for me.
I'm going to try to use him. Actually a very good writer.
And there was a lib
right up front.
She pointed out she was Jewish
and
I started, you know started doing my act.
Guys, can we turn my headphones up a little bit more?
You know how it is.
Test, one, two.
Test, one, two.
Test, one, two.
Right there.
Mark it with a fucking pen before I go in there and scratch my keys on it.
Thank you.
Can we leave it there?
Can I ask why I have to ask that at least once a week?
Anybody?
Bueller?
Dad changed it last week.
What?
On Thursday, Dad came in.
He started messing with it.
Why?
It happened when I left
I'm not blaming you
just asking
did you say hey that's not what Nick wants it
that was after we left
let me get this straight
so he adjusted it
and then left
come on will you pick up the pace?
Jesus, you're like a bad caller.
Did you see him move it?
I'm asking you.
I didn't see him move it.
Who did, Jason?
Did you see him move it?
Okay, so what are you telling me?
So what?
Seriously, I don't want to ask again for that fucking thing to...
Are we good?
Can you mark it with whiteout or something?
Have Ryan scratch it with his nails?
Something.
Anyways, there was a liberal up front woman,
a liberal couple,
and she starts to get this sour look on her puss
about 10 minutes in my act
when I started shitting on Hillary.
And then she went into full child mode where she almost looked like she was crying.
And I wanted to strangle her.
And I just tortured her.
Her husband was a good sport about it.
But she sat there with this look on her, literally trying to almost distract me and hoping it
would throw me.
Even sadder than that.
And I said, what's your problem you hillary fan yeah well i said there'll be another lesbian coming through the democrat uh party i'm sure so fucking relax and
she just got the whole show sitting there with her like this almost like crying and i kept going
back to her i i couldn't help myself it's like a sore tooth you keep wanting to touch it and i tortured them both they said you liberals have like what's it
like to lose to somebody who's so dumb like donald trump you know saying it's sarcastic
and and just kept torturing her and i said how can you come out to this fucking comedy show
first of all not know not knowing who the headliner And secondly, how can you take me this serious when the rest
of the room is guffawing?
I'm killing. I said, how?
Is it your religion?
I just, you know, and the room hated
her guts, and they should.
Sat there like a child.
And it's very Westchester specific.
If you don't know, you guys,
Westchester County is
30 miles north of New York City.
It's a bunch of well-to-do people.
And, well, Hillary lives up here.
And you've heard, you know, fucking Soros.
But the emotional level of a fifth-grade child who was getting called out in school or something.
And eventually, I went on to some stuff about the Bible,
and I brought up Jewish stuff, kosher food, whatever,
and she, with about 10 minutes left in the show,
she left the fucking show.
I mean, I said, you're exactly what's wrong with the country,
why Trump is the president.
You're intolerant, you pretend to be tolerant,
you're emotionally shallow, you're fucking about fifth grade.
And the rest of the room felt the same way I did.
Matter of fact, there were other people yelling shit out to bust her balls.
And it's not my goal to ruin anybody's evening when I'm doing stand-up.
But who and I mean what in this day in 2018, are you just going to wander into a comedy club and
the husband was laughing a lot of my stuff but i'm sure he hated it but he was uh he stayed for
the whole show and it's it's just so typical of the fucking left and why i'm so tired of hearing
this why oh both sides right never have been more politically divided.
This is as heated as bullshit.
I think this is great.
I'm hoping for a civil war because one side needs to be massacred.
And it's not my fucking side.
It's the side of the lying mainstream left wing fucking liberal media.
And they are the ones you can blame for the fake pipe bombs.
And by the way, I have to find an edible necktie
because I said I'd eat my tie.
I'm still not sure this guy's not a patsy
and somebody didn't pay him off,
but he seemed like a lone wolf psycho.
And of course, Trump's being blamed for that
and for the synagogue shooting.
I'll get to it in a few minutes.
The media is out there full force
trying to blame him for all this shit.
Like all this rhetoric started when he took over as president.
And I'm going to read a list of attacks on Republicans.
Actual attacks just in October.
Since Trump got elected, it's over 600 attacks.
But they're trying to blame him for this.
I mean, the media is a...
She was like a metaphor for the media.
Just fucking juvenile childish getting their asses handed to them by this president.
Whether you think he's dumb enough, he's fucking winning.
And, oh my God, I couldn't believe what I was watching on the Sunday shows.
Do you think it's because Trump, shouldn't he tone it down?
Meanwhile, you get Democrats out there saying, kick them if they go low. Fucking, we can't be civil to rep... Anyways, that crazy ex-stripper, he was crazy,
but his taste was good as far as who he sent shit to. No, I'm not condoning it.
Just an ex-stripper in his 50s on steroids living in a van by himself,
but he represents, I'm sure he represents all of us that like Trump.
Eat a bag of shit out there.
Eat a bag of shit.
Anyways, what a whiny little broad.
Fucking bitch.
Exactly.
I told you.
All right, get up.
Yeah.
And she left.
Killer show.
Killer.
Did new stuff up front.
I did a lot of new stuff.
Could be a regular haunt, actually.
Hey, we got a voicemail.
Jace, did I send you that voicemail?
We had somebody.
We get a lot of positive feedback,
and I never think of playing it on the air,
but here's a voicemail somebody left from Maine.
Hey, thanks a lot. I really appreciate the air, but here's a voicemail somebody left from Maine. Hey, thanks a lot.
I really appreciate the show, Nick.
It's good to have voices like yours
out there in the world.
Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it.
I just wanted to say that.
From Calais, Maine.
Thank you. Good.
Hope he's not an ex-stripper living in a van.
Fucking
Calais under a bridge
yeah how you doing good to see you
how you doing pretty good
good
but yes
it
I watch the TV
and Trump is to all the blame
it's just
they're doing anything anything
has nothing to do with what they did to Kavanaugh and his family but it's just, they're doing anything, anything.
Has nothing to do with what they did to Kavanaugh and his family,
and the media's been attacking Trump since before he got elected.
Just shitting all over him, calling him a racist, a Nazi, a bigot,
but it's the Republicans who are responsible for this vitriol,
this environment, this volatile, what a crock of fucking shit.
This has been going on for 40 years, CNN, their lying horse shit abc cbs and nbc and you fucking reap what you sow and i hope it gets uglier as
they said in the godfather we need a they talked about five families are going to war every 10
years or so we have to let out the bad blood and uh i think that's what we need i'm not saying blow each other up or shoot
each other but uh i'll get to that in a few minutes i'm not i haven't even got to uh thank
you callous mine good to see you how are you doing pretty good so anyways i had a good weekend uh
last night me being a socks fan and all um well here's the uh we got some audio i wanted
to play the video of the final out but uh if i do that it gets flagged by mlb and uh we can't
monetize the youtube show and it doesn't play on patreon for some reason so we do have the audio
from joseph stiglione uh Nobody on base, two men out.
Bottom of the ninth, 5-1 Red Sox.
Sale winds, he fires.
Swing and a miss, Frank Lee, it's over.
The Red Sox have won the World Championship.
The Boston Red Sox beat the Los Angeles Dodgers 5-1. They win the World Series four games to one.
And the Red Sox become the first team in the 21st
century with four world championships can you believe it they sprinted from the bullpen they
sprinted can i believe it oh yeah oh yes i can but you can't bring this up to my yankees friends
we get 27 flag but well if you want to if you want to talk ancient history, we can do that.
But I'm in the here and now, if you know what I'm saying.
They were the best team in baseball wire to wire from April to last night.
108 wins.
Best season in the history of the Red Sox.
And they've been around for 1,000 years.
That's saying something.
So what a great night and we struck
out scumbag manny machado to end it chris sale came in how about my boy joe kelly who i love
he's gonna screw loose up there throws it 99 100 comes in strikes out the side all that talk
joe buck was driving me nuts who i love i think he's one of the best in the business but him and
schmaltz they they were discussing how each team
used their bullpen. This guy's going to be tired.
And this guy, well, he pitched
half inning last night, so I can't...
If this is a long Sarah... Jesus
Christ, they're grown athletes.
They're fucking grown men.
24 years old, 6'2", 200 pounds.
You treat them like they're kids with cancer.
Oh, he's going to be tired. What a bunch
of... To me, as far as baseball goes,
that is so overblown, that horse shit.
And David Price, who was the enemy in Boston
as early as last year,
he got into it on a plane with Dennis Eckersley,
who was bad-mouthing the pitching staff last season.
And Pedroia came to David Price and everybody.
But, you know, Eckersley is like royalty in Boston, too.ia came to David Price and everybody.
But Eckersley is like royalty in Boston, too,
so the fans were sick of Price.
He's a little bit of an attitude,
but he seemed to grow up, man.
And boy, did he ever.
He was unbelievable.
And then Sale comes in and closes it down.
But I'm sorry, folks.
I got to pound my chest.
I watched him every night. I DVR. Even when I'm doing comedy, I come home and watch. I got to power my chest. I watched them every night. I DVR.
Even when I'm doing comedy, I come home and watch.
I have the game lined up.
Sit up until 2 in the morning watching.
I don't think I missed a Sox game this year.
I'm embarrassed I didn't go to see them live.
But anyways, that was that.
But you think about it.
They beat the Yankees and the Astros, both who had 100 win seasons.
And then the Dodgers.
So no doubt about
it. Nobody can argue it.
And absolutely
means nothing to me,
personally. I mean,
I mean,
you don't hear me going, we win, because I had
nothing to do with it.
And you fans, you know, don't
rush the field and pretend you're part of the fucking
team. Anyways.
But here's an interesting thing.
I told you I want the Sox clinching game in 2013 against the Cardinals.
I told you that story.
I'm in the Kaskin Flagon, which is a bar next door to Fenway.
And we're about to beat the Cardinals.
And the whole place is chanting Yankees suck.
And I'm like, what?
We're not playing the Yankees.
It really runs deep.
And apparently the team feels the same way.
After beating the Dodgers last night,
the Sox are blaring Frank Sinatra's New York, New York, and the clubhouse.
You remember the story earlier when they were playing the Yankees
in the playoffs earlier.
Aaron Boone walked by after the Yankees beat the Red Sox in Fenway.
Aaron Boone walked by the Red Sox locker room
playing New York, New York.
So we have long memories in New England,
but here is the Sox celebrating.
And they're...
Ready to go.
I'm ready.
I'm leaving today.
I want to be a part of it. Excuse me.
How's that feel, Aaron Judge?
Four banners since 2004. that's pretty goddamn good
and this is the my last touch on the baseball uh i have to play uh you know you talk about
the dodges tommy lasorda is still the face of the dodges hey did you see larry king who had
died two years ago nobody told him sitting in the fucking audience. He was there for that
18 inning game.
They had some, you know,
one of those guys
that seats you at the ballpark. They kept checking on him
every 20 minutes to make sure
he's alive. Something good would happen.
The whole place would be standing on a 3-2
count, except for Larry with his giant head,
his skeleton body and shit.
I really thought he was dead by the, I'd say about
the eighth inning, but he was still there right to
the end, but you didn't see him the next two nights.
Anyways,
here's some audio of Tommy Lasorda.
It's notorious. I've played it before
on my old podcast, but
here's Tommy Lasorda
losing his mind.
I don't think he senses that one.
Oh, shit.
Did I not?
Wait a minute.
You know what?
I think you're right.
I probably have it on mine right here.
And if I ever did, I certainly wouldn't make him throw at a fucking 130 hitter like LaFay or fucking Babacqua.
He's being accused of having a pitch to throw at a guy.
Because I kick that cocksucker's ass any fucking day in a week.
He's a fucking motherfucking big mouth, I'll tell you that.
I hope that went out louder than I heard it.
Yeah.
He's a motherfucking big mouth.
He's going to be going soon.
Oh, I'm sorry, I lied to you.
I got one more thing baseball related.
The city of Boston, which I love.
I'm proud of my Red Sox. Their politics are worse than fucking San Francisco's.
I swear to God,
Curt Schilling,
not invited to throw world series.
First pitch with greats from all four red Sox.
Um,
they had a thing where they,
some of the stars from the 2004 red Sox came out through the first pitch.
Of course he wasn't,
uh,
invited.
Um,
but this is from Jason Owens. Write his name he wasn't invited.
But this is from Jason Owens.
Write his name down, Yahoo News,
so I can show you what biased fucking reporting sounds like.
Jason Owens.
Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore,
you know it.
He says, Schilling is a pariah
in large circles. The former Phillies,
Arizona Diamondbacks, and Sox great has chosen to spend his retirement years espousing radical, sometimes racist, political opinions.
First of all, bullshit.
Jason Owens.
Jason Owens.
Jason Owens.
Jason Owens.
Jason Owens.
First of all, espousing radicals, sometimes racist, that's your opinion.
That's your fucking opinion.
I follow this podcast.
I follow it showing rights.
I follow him on Twitter.
Nothing's racist.
He states the truth.
And then you misquote him in here, Jason Owens, you fucking liar.
Don't ever listen to anything on Yahoo News,
because it's part of the whole fucking giant tech world that leans fucking left.
So I know you guys on your phone like I do.
I get pop-ups from Yahoo News,
and I read the headlines eight out of ten times like that's horseshit.
What's racist to you is the truth to the rest of us who haven't bought into the fucking horse shit,
Jason Owens.
It appears now the Red Sox don't want to
associate with Schilling.
Boston invited players from the
0-4 championship to throw out the ceremony
first pitch for Game 2 of the World Series
on Wednesday. Ortiz,
Martinez, Kevin Millar, Wakefield, etc.
Schilling, who lives locally, was not part
of that group. According to the Boston Global
columnist Dan Shaughnessy, the Red Sox
did not invite him. And then here's a
quote. We did not reach
out to him, but it was not out of spite.
A Red Sox executive told
Shaughnessy, what a bunch
of horseshit. It wasn't out of spite. If you're
going to be intolerant and a
PC pussy, at least admit to it. wasn't out of spite. If you're going to be intolerant and a PC pussy, at least admit
to it. It wasn't out of spite.
It was originally just going to be Pedro and
David and Wake and Millar, but we heard from a few others
and they are included.
And why not Schilling?
Schilling
said, he responded and said
he definitely thinks it was 100%
on purpose. Put more simply,
Schilling is now too hot for even the Red Sox to touch.
While hosting a radio show for far right-wing media outlet Breitbart,
far right-wing media outlet?
Hey, Jason, when's the last time you referred to fucking Huffington Post,
Salon.com, or TheAtlantic.com as far left?
Have you ever done that in your life?
Breitbart's not far right.
You know what they are?
Once again, when I want some honesty,
I go to fucking Breitbart.
Your fucking bias is showing.
While hosting a radio show
on Breitbart in 2017,
Schilling invited white supremacist
and anti-Semitic congressional candidate
Paul Nalen as guest. Breitbart later distanced himselfilling invited white supremacist and anti-Semitic congressional candidate Paul Nalen as guest.
Breitbart later distanced himself
from the podcast archive that was eventually deleted
in which Schilling provided a platform
for Nalen, a man who regularly used
the phrase during his campaign.
Get this. This is the phrase that Nalen
used during his campaign. Listen to how
fucking controversial this is. It's okay
to be white. Holy shit!
Wow! What a racist racist a motto adopted by the
ku klux klan uh i i i think i heard my friend saying that in sixth grade because you know what
it is okay to be white regardless of what rachel maddow says or fucking cnn or abc or c CBS with your slanted, tainted fucking
treatment of the
issue of race.
That was the big fucking thing that makes him a Nazi.
Defend Schilling. I would defend Schilling
if he was a New York Yankee.
It's this
kind of activity that has complicated his
legacy and led many in baseball and sports
media to distance themselves from Schilling.
Oh, you mean the mainstream media?
That's right. He got fired from ESPN.
You know, home of Jameel Hill,
Omani Jones, Whitey Hader,
and fucking Kevin Blackstone.
You know, the usual suspects.
What a fucking slanted
view of the world. That wasn't the case in
June for the Phillies. They invited Schilling to join a view of the world that wasn't the case in June for the Phillies
they invited Schilling to join a reunion of the
1993 National League Champions
the Diamondbacks also
invited Schilling to participate in the 20th anniversary
alumni game in August
he was previously taken off the
network's Little League World Series broadcast
after comparing Muslims
to Nazis on
Twitter
and you know what you're lying Muslims to Nazis on Twitter.
And you know what?
You're lying.
And you're a piece of shit.
Never compared Muslims to Nazis.
He compared extremist Muslims, like the ones that shut up the Pulse nightclub,
to Nazis.
He didn't compare Muslims to Nazis.
So your fucking report, Jesse, is
total horseshit.
Your left-wing bias is showing
not that you give a fuck.
Anyways.
So, Boston,
I love my town. I really
do. But you've lost your minds
and I already told you,
I did a bit of my last special about
watching the red socks and and they they have to have cancer night every night they bring up cancer
and and and to the point where you're like can we watch the ball game and and uh
and it's spreading to other sports in boston these real liberal cities they have this complex
they they have to hey look we're do-gooders.
We're doing something.
We're feeling for people.
I don't need to have players hold up.
And again, this is going to sound insensitive and crass to a lot of people,
but you'll be missing my fucking point.
We all know somebody with cancer at this point.
We all know it fucking exists.
I don't need you to select an inning in the World Series where every player is holding a person's name with cancer on it.
What are you doing?
Well, making people aware. Of what?
Of cancer?
I'm aware of it every
fucking day when I'm having a cigarette and eating
a fucking Twinkie laying in a tanning bed
and dipping hot dogs into sweet
and low. I'm aware of it.
Jesus
fucking Christ.
Give it a rest. Do you ever have a good day,
Libs? Do you ever wake up?
And they'll go, no,
we're feeling for other people.
Yeah, we get it. We get it.
Now it's spread to the Boston
Bruins. They had a cancer awareness
night of shit. I put on the fucking
Bruins. They show them in warm
ups and this is what they're wearing.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Isn't that lavender, Ryan?
Didn't you have a suit like that in high school?
Hurry up, Ryan.
That's what I wear to prom.
That's it.
hurry up, Brian.
That's what I would have thought.
That's it.
Are you, seriously,
does cancer have a gender now?
Seriously.
I'm happy to say the NFL, I didn't see a lot of pink this October.
So I have to look into that.
Did they stop doing that?
They finally probably had enough.
I don't know.
But are you kidding me?
It would be less gay if they had fucking Chara blowing Bergeron at center ice.
And Nick, you're missing the point.
This is to raise money because they sell the shirts.
That's what they said.
They sell the shirts online after the players wear them.
Okay, let me ask you a question.
What would sell better? Because again,
despite what
the mainstream media have to believe, most of the guys
that play hockey are still boys.
Do you think teenage boys are going to rush out
to get that lavender shirt? What do you think
would sell better, that or the Bruins' actual
black shirts?
Seriously,
there's an agenda.
They attach it to everything,
whether it's,
this way we can,
you're not only raising awareness about cancer,
but you're showing a sense of,
again, the emasculation,
that's of the male population,
that's all it's about,
fucking lavender shirts,
seriously,
those are going to sell like hotcakes after,
imagine your kid wearing a lavender shirt
to a junior hockey game up in Ottawa and shit.
Showing up for a fucking pickup game.
Yes, cancer is out.
Let me make you people aware.
There's a thing called cancer.
I actually have one on my cheek.
Look at that fuck.
It's either cancer or I still have dents
from when that broad punched me,
which I think is actually what it is.
I have two indentations.
833-599-6425.
Just get off your soapbox for five minutes.
We know you're good people.
We know you care.
Christ's sake.
Oh.
Oh.
Let's go to Chris in Queens, New York.
Chris, what's going on, fella?
Hey, what's up, Nick?
Huge fan of the show.
Thank you.
And yeah, congratulations to the Red Sox.
I officially make Boston title town, to be honest.
Well, there's no arguing that.
They've had a good 20 years.
You wanted to mention something about uh vox
blaming the republicans something yeah there's a new video up on box basically blaming the
republicans for i don't know like leftist problems uh it's like gay guy i don't know
if you've seen him before but he does a whole bunch of you know pro-left videos yes i know
who you're talking about yeah no i just wanted to see
your take on that and also there's this type of like move on movement i keep getting texts of it
yeah like i don't know if anyone else is getting this but uh i get random texts from random people
basically saying who you're voting for in the polls yeah and basically telling me i have to
vote blue i don't know i I tried. It's funny.
I tried arguing with this person and they
just went blank on me.
Yeah, probably from moveon.org.
Hey, Chris, thank you for the call.
And yeah, of course they're
blaming all the... Is that news to
you? And Vox, who the fuck
goes to Vox website?
I went to it once and I was... I actually
had positive things said about me on Reddit. You understand? That's like impossible to Vox website. I went to it once and I was... I actually had positive things said about me on Reddit.
You understand?
That's like impossible to do ever, right?
You guys know it, Jason.
You know what Reddit is?
No?
I think the only two millennials have no idea what Reddit is.
I thought they invented it.
Ryan knows what Reddit is.
You know what Reddit is, Ryan?
Real quick.
Yeah, I know what Reddit is.
What is it?
Tell the people.
It's like a internet picture
message board that's the center of the internet everyone just posts stuff there yeah but everybody
can have a reddit i can have a reddit if i was famous enough you probably have a reddit i i but
the point is it makes twitter look like highbrow fucking social media oh yeah yeah it's it's a sewer
yes and and somebody actually posted something nice about this show, saying,
this guy DiPaolo lost his show,
but he doesn't quit.
He put together a podcast
or whatever and said it shows that
he does the preparation and stuff.
And Colin Quinn told me so,
which is fucking crazy.
Yes, I've seen my name on Reddit mentioned
unflatteringly many, many times,
which means I'm doing the right thing, obviously.
But anyhow.
Let's get to the depressing, this psychotic piece of garbage.
Probably the guy from Chicago who calls,
and is probably a fan of this guy, Robert Bowers, anti-Semite, and that's putting, understating it, anti-migrant.
They should put anti-Trump also on the headline and gun fanatic, but what a piece of shit.
Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you.
Oh, yeah, that's him.
In the months leading up to Saturday's massacre at a Pittsburgh synagogue,
Robert Bowers used a little-known social network to spew hatred towards Jews, calling them the children of Satan as he showed off his family of firearms.
Jesus Christ.
You're fucking crazy. unleashing his gun on worshipers at the Tree of Life synagogue, killing 11 people in the deadliest anti-Semitic
attack in recent history, U.S. history.
I mean, ages from 54 to
97. It was like a couple
guys, I think they were brothers in their 90s.
Just a fucking cowardly,
again, totally psychotic,
and of course, the media's trying to
fucking, he said right on his social
media that he hates, he thinks Trump's a globalist,
to give you an idea.
But why not take this guy out and shoot him tonight or burn him alive?
Because we have due process.
Well, the Democrats don't believe in it.
So, his online postings at Gab, that's that site that tried to be the next Twitter.
They kept trying to sign me.
I did it for like, but it never really caught on.
A social network that bills itself as a champion
of free speech. So they're trying to blame, you know.
Paint a picture of a white supremacist
obsessed with far-right conspiracy
theories about Jews.
Singling out a Jewish
non-profit that provides aid to
refugees as a target in a chilling
message posted hours before his
attack. HIAS, H-I-A-S
likes to bring invaders in that kill our people.
I can't sit by and watch my people get slaughtered.
Screw your optics. I'm going in, he wrote.
Hayes is the acronym for Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society.
Other posts on the network refer to the cavern of Central American migrants
making its way to the U.S. as invaders, which is true.
Well, he also accused Jews of being responsible for Muslim migration to the U.S. as invaders, which is true, while he also accused Jews of being responsible
for Muslim migration into the U.S.,
writing,
Open your eyes!
It's the filthy, evil Jews
bringing the filthy, evil Muslims into the country.
I guess George W. Bush
and everybody at the Chamber of Commerce
is Jewish, too.
Both Democrats
and Republicans, they're all Jewish.
Bowers was no fan of the U.S. President
whom he derisively dismisses a globalist
and not a nationalist.
Using a slur for Jews, he said there is no
hashtag MAGA as long as there is
a kike infestation.
What a fucking piece of filth.
You're a wormy
cocksucker, you know that?
In another post before the
shooting, he said he had not voted for Trump.
Bowers has been charged with 29 federal
crimes and has made statements in custody
evincing an animus
towards people of the Jewish faith.
Psychotic.
They're committing genocide to my people.
I just want to kill Jews, he told the law enforcement officer.
He had worked as a trucker, kept to himself,
and would sometimes stay at home for days at a stretch.
Thank Christ.
Bowses has no known criminal record, according to the paper,
but had on occasion contacted police over non-criminal issues.
Licensed to carry firearms,
he had bought at least six guns
since 1996, according to CNN.
Also professed his love for his family
of Glock pistols
in a post on Gab.
Anyways, just fucking,
just a disgrace.
And again, the fucking media
trying to tie Trump into anything that's bad.
And there's enough dumb people out there
who believe it, you know?
At least Trump had the balls to say,
you know, the media has a lot to do with it too.
Which they do.
Killed eight men and three women
before they shot him.
Of course, he survived in a hospital.
Anyhow.
At least the Jewish people get the last laugh
not laugh but you know what I mean
listen to this
Jewish doctors and nurses at Allegheny General Hospital in Pittsburgh
put their personal feelings aside to help save the life of the man
who allegedly claimed he wanted to kill all the Jews
as he opened fire at the synagogue and murdered 11 worshippers
he was taken to my hospital,
and he's shouting,
I want to kill all the... Even after he gets shot,
he's still shouting this?
I want to kill all the Jews.
Dr. Jeffrey Cohen,
president of Allegheny General Hospital
and a member of the Tree of Life synagogue,
told ABC,
the first three people who took care of him were Jewish.
Another nurse, whose father's a rabbi,
came in from a mass casualty drill
and took care of this gentleman
let's not call him a gentleman
let's call him a piece of fucking garbage
Cohen was one of the first people on the scene
he lives in a neighborhood
listen to this, this is really interesting
it's actually great
it just shows
just how psychotic a world we live
we are here to take care of sick people
we're not here to judge you we're are here to take care of sick people.
We're not here to judge you.
We're not here to ask you,
do you have insurance or do you not have insurance?
We're here to take care of people
who need our help, he said.
Cohen said he and Bowers
had a brief conversation at the hospital.
When I stopped in,
I asked him how he was doing.
Was he in pain?
And he said, no, he was fine, Cohen said.
Cohen says Bowers then asked him who he was
i said i'm dr cohen president of the hospital oh boy jeez can you imagine the fucking all right
that's how bowers responded uh then i turned around and left the fbi agent who was guarding
him said to mr con i don't know if I could have done that.
And I said, if you're in my shoes, I'm sure you could.
So can you imagine?
That's enough for him.
He'll hang himself.
Well, he's going to get the death penalty.
But that's all you have to tell him is, you know what?
You know who saved your life?
Jewish doctors.
And he will fucking hang himself the first chance he gets.
That should be repeated to him.
They should, in his cell, they should keep putting the pictures of the Jewish nurses and doctors who saved his life.
And just bombard him with that shit.
So it's a nice spin on a horrible story.
And I'm glad that's going to torture him.
And may he burn in fucking hell.
Let's go to Sean in Missouri.
Sean, what's going on?
Welcome to the show.
Hey, thanks a lot, Nick.
Big fan.
First of all, they should have given him blood from Jewish donors.
That would have drove up a wall yes that's
sort of like an old uh that reminds that you know you just brought up what i was trying to think of
today sean i'm like why does this sound familiar and then there was an old episode of all in the
family right when archie got blood and he found out he's found out from a black guy
but uh yeah mike i mean it's been said a thousand times. Try doing that show today.
Of course.
But, yeah.
I am.
You know, the thing about this...
People are blaming this waste of fucking organs on Trump.
And there's two things about it.
One, it wouldn't matter what Republican was in office.
If it was Bush or Romney, they would have blamed it on him anyway
because it's seen
anti-Semitism is seen as
a right wing issue but on the other
side these same fucking
liberals that are blaming Trump
for this are still associating with
Louis Farrakhan and Linda
Sarsour and Al Sharpton
coming up and
going to the vigil for these
poor fucking bastards.
You know,
the hypocrisy
isn't just palpable. I mean, how
have people not tearing their fucking hair out? These mental
gymnastics people have to do. It's fucking insane.
It drives me nuts. Oh, absolutely.
And you're right.
And Trump's
son-in-law is Jewish, and Trump moved the embassy to Jerusalem. Oh yeah, he's a real anti-Semite. I mean, this is fucking priceless. And Al Sharpton still has a TV show, and you see him on MSNBC all the time. He said many anti-semitic it is the it's not even i don't even know how to point it it's not even a double it's a triple quadruple standard it's fucking unbelievable you brought it
up last week or two weeks ago lewis farrakhan uh saying he's not anti-semite he's anti-termite
yeah and these people still are not fucking denouncing him yet they require trump to do it
at every fucking turn every goddamn time someone says boo on Twitter,
uh, they've got to, you know, he's got to say something about it. He's got to renounce it.
Yeah. Bullshit. It's just a way to distract from, uh, getting anything done. Just like
it always is. It's just politics. This is a path that, uh, Democrats have chosen as far as narrative
and they're going to stick to it. So we're going to expect a lot more of this shit.
Exactly.
Hey, good call, Sean.
Thanks, buddy.
Appreciate it.
And there's a far left.
The far, far left is anti-Israel.
I mean, there's Jews in New York who hate,
what, hate fucking, hate all anti-Israel.
I mean, the far, far left.
But to try to tag Trump with this shit,
that's the playbook.
And whatever bad happens in the world,
they blame climate change on him.
I pray people can see through it,
but there's so many morons.
And again, liberalism is a religion.
So they'll put, they'll put us,
they don't give a shit about the optics
if they look hypocritical or whatever.
But Chris in Bucks County, Pennsylvania
wants to weigh in on the synagogue shooting.
Hey, Chris, what's going on?
Hey, Nick, how's it going?
Pretty good.
This whole fucking scenario is as transparent as a Ziploc bag.
Anybody remember the past eight years of Obama, how many mass shootings there were?
I know.
I mean, anybody remember Newtown, Pennsylvania, where a fucking kindergarten room got wiped out?
Yeah.
Did anybody blame Obama personally for him?
No.
What the fuck?
I know.
I know.
The media.
Look, I don't want to sit here and go,
hey, the pipe bombs and the mail and shit,
and I'm glad nobody got hurt,
but I see how that guy could be created
that mailed the pipe bombs.
I can see. If you follow the news for the last 30 years, it would make you nuts enough.
Three cups of coffee and I'm about to go buy some firecrackers myself.
Yeah, I mean, you know, what the fuck?
I mean, take a look at the guy.
He was a felon, but yet he had an arsenal of weapons.
Yeah.
He had a fucking Trump mobile that would it be pulled over i don't
care whatever city you're in fucking nom alaska it would get pulled over in two seconds you're
not allowed to have more than 20 percent tint on your windows right windows were covered with
trump americans yeah no you're right i uh thank you for the call chris you were cutting in and
out i'm sorry uh i the i i this comic i ran into when I was doing Lucy's this weekend,
his cousin lives down in Florida
and sent him pictures of that van
before they know who the suspect.
He goes, look at this fucking van he saw.
It was the very van.
But do you get what I'm saying?
It's so hilarious that they're trying to tag Trump
and Trump supporters with this stuff.
When, like he said, they shot up a Jewish nursery under Obama.
Pulse nightclub.
Was that under Obama?
Yeah.
Did you see CNN going, hey, Obama's got to tone it down with the fucking, you know.
It is.
They are the most evil. I can't say how insidious the fucking mainstream
media is they are why we are at each other's throats okay they are fucking pure evil it's
a religion they're a propaganda arm of the democrat party and fucking luckily there were
enough people who realized that and then you know that but Hillary stole one four million what
votes more votes
popular votes
so that's that many idiots out there
who are you
what's that
right
okay super chat
so this one was back from we were doing cancer
we got a northern
jackalope
how about testicular cancer
can guys get at least one cause i know you don't hear well they have prostate michael milken
the junk bond guy who went to jail for inside trading and uh then he cleaned up his act but
he goes around i think it's their baseball season, they have them in the booth, and they have prostate cancer awareness.
But, you know, I said, yeah, they should do that.
The NFL should do it.
And I said, the quarterback should have to wear those rubber gloves
that doctors wear when they come up under the center.
You know, how clever is that?
Make the middle finger brown, get a laugh out of it.
We can all have a hoot, lighten up.
But, yeah, testicular cancer. The point is, cancer a laugh out of it. We can all have a hoot. Lighten up. Testicular cancer.
The point is
cancer doesn't have a gender.
So why are you making them wear lavender
and pink? Again, it's the
fucking, the feminists,
the mental feminists going, hey,
let's take advantage of this crisis.
Whatever. I know people are going to think that's crazy.
But it ain't it ain't
now for you people out there
who think
let's lighten it up
can we show a clip
we have Gay Clifford
I think he's a Patreon
he sent us a clip
of Night Patrol
so let's
here's a little something to cleanse the palate.
Monday's...
Don't worry dear, everything's going to be alright.
We're the police.
No.
No.
Oh, officers,
it was horrible. There were three of them
and they wouldn't stop.
Three of them? What were they, gang members?
No, they were women. But they had these guns and whips and chains. What did they make you
do? Well, first they made me pull out my, pull out my, you know. Your pee-pee? Uh-huh.
And then, and then they made me play with it and pull on it until I...
Until I...
You know, I wrote the line.
My match.
That's all they did?
Is that all? They made me do it 13 times.
13 times, that's terrible.
The first couple of times were fine, but...
Oh my God, I can't even walk anymore.
That is great, Peta. You recognize any of them?
No, I couldn't see a thing.
What do you mean you couldn't see anything?
Well, see, I had been drinking a little bit early on,
and I thought I would just come out here and sort of sleep things off,
but the lights and the lampposts kept getting in my eyes,
so I just kind of put this paper bag over my head.
Meet Margaret Solo.
That's called a non-sequitur, folks.
What the fuck?
Oh, my God.
You know, that technology scares me because, you know,
it's going to be, well, it's probably already being used.
You could be watching an anchor woman or a man on TV doing the news, and if it's not happening now, it's going to be, well, it's probably already being used. You could be watching an anchor woman or a man on TV doing the news
and if it's not happening now,
it's going to happen tomorrow.
You think he's
saying what he's saying, but
somebody did a little CGI on his mind.
You'll never know the difference.
I see dog food commercials. The dog's, you know,
talking better than most humans.
Excuse me.
Anyways, just ridiculous.
Here's some evidence.
And again, the narrative is what?
It's since Trump took office and because of the way he
tweets and acts, the rhetoric is
it's his fault that we have this
fever, political fever
and he has to tone it down.
But here's a little
something for you from Nolte,
John Nolte.
Death threats, assaults, vandalism.
Over 40 acts of left-wing thuggery
in October so far.
Just in October.
Danger, Will Robinson.
Danger.
No, Will Robinson.
Danger.
Just in October.
He says the left's wanton acts of violence vandalism harassment bullying more than double
the 16 recorded acts in september and 18 acts in august okay okay throughout the country
republicans are facing organized acts of criminality and harassment at the rate of
nearly 1.5 per day so what do you think of that, media? Problem? You're the fucking problem.
You fucking Dr. White, onking, jam rag,
onking, spunk, bubble, I'm telling you,
H, you keep looking at me, I'm gonna put you
in the fucking ground, I promise you.
Not this time. Let me read a few of them
in October. Just so, for you people out there,
and I know most of you are my fans, so you probably,
but in case there's a lib out there,
somebody sitting on the fence who's still a little confused
thanks to the fucking media.
This is what's happened to Republicans since October.
An assassination attempt on President Trump.
That was October 3rd,
Rison and the threatening letter was sent to the White House.
The assassination attempt on high-targeted,
high-ranking Trump officials.
Same day,
Defense Secretary Mattis and FBI Director Wray
were sent R and letters.
October 25th, the New York Times runs a story fantasizing about Trump's assassination.
One of MSNBC commentators called for the military removal of Trump from office.
That was on October 18th. There appears to have been an assassination attempt against Senator Susan Collins for her support of Brett Kavanaugh.
October 16th, 2018.
A person claimed Rison was sent a letter to Senator Collins' home.
No fewer than five Republican campaign centers and a club have been vandalized.
October 2nd, vandals hit Illinois GOP headquarters with rape graffiti.
On the 25th, GOP headquarters vandalized in Iowa City.
October 23rd, boulder thrown through Rep. McCarthy's office window.
October 12th, GOP office vandalized in Mesa, Arizona.
October 12th, Antifa smashes windows to faces doors of Metropolitan Republican Club in Manhattan.
There have been 12 rape and death threats
aimed at Republicans and their families and supporters.
On the 24th of this month,
New Jersey GOP congressional candidate
receives a letter threatening his children.
On the 19th, New York man charged
with threatening two senators over Kavanaugh's support.
October 2nd, two hospitalized
after exposure to pottery substance
at Ted Cruz's Houston campaign office.
On the 16th, DFL employee calls for Republicans to be beheaded.
On the October 8th, leftist teacher tweets,
so who's going to take one for the team and kill Kavanaugh?
October 15th, Vermont GOP House candidate receives death threat.
October 7th, Senator Cory Gardner claims wife received beheading video over Kavanaugh boat.
October 4th, Republican senators hit with death threats amid
Kavanaugh fight. October 8th, Rand Paul's wife, I sleep with a loaded gun thanks to leftist threat.
October 6th, Senator Collins flooded with abusive tweets threatening death and violence.
October 17th, Tennessee restaurant owners life threatened for renting space to GOP's Marsha
Blackburn. October 11th, anti-Trump protester threatens to rape conservative reporter.
There have been nine assaults and attempted assaults against Republicans.
October 18th, Dem operative for Soros-funded group arrested for battery
against Nevada GOP candidate's campaign manager.
On the 6th, Kavanaugh protesters accost elderly Trump supporter.
On the 5th, protesters chased Graham to his car
saying they will remove him from office.
October 2nd, GOP Congressman Andy Harris
assaulted by protesters.
October 10th, Susan Rice's Republican son
assaulted at a pro-Kavanaugh event.
October 16th, left-wing comedian gets physical
with Trump supporter at Hooters.
October 16th, Republican candidate Shane Meeklin
punched in Minnesota restaurant, knocked unconscious. October 16th, Republican candidate Shane Meeklin punched in Minnesota restaurant, knocked unconscious.
October 16th, Republican state rep Sarah Anderson
assaulted in Minnesota.
I could go on and on and on.
Is this, okay?
Since he's got elected, I lost count at over 600 since Trump.
And you want fucking us to sit here and believe
it's Trump's rhetoric and people on the right who likes Trump. And you want fucking us to sit here and believe it's Trump's rhetoric
and people on the right who likes Trump.
It's that rhetoric that's causing all of this divisiveness.
You got to be dog style of me.
You can't be that fucking stupid.
People don't believe anything.
Just judge for yourself.
Watch the nose.
But, you know, don't ingest it.
But this guy, you can tell they live in this bubble.
They sit out there, and whether it's John Brennan,
former CIA director, you know,
or the whole Mueller investigation,
and it's since Trump, before he got elected,
they were calling him a Nazi as he was coming down the escalator
and a racist and a bigot.
And guys like me and people who like Trump,
we're not supposed to sit here and just let you fucking ass fuck us
for the next year and a half, two years?
Ooh, now somebody's sending fake bombs.
What a surprise.
Yeah, but it's Trump's fault.
He calls Stormy Daniels horseface
and he says, Hillary, you know, they chant lock her up
and he encourages it. That's what's causing
this shit. Are you
fucking
It's an insult to people's intelligence.
People who have intelligence.
You are correct, sir.
Yes, I am.
Let's go to
it says Krishna. Is that right? Wants to talk about go to... It says Krishna.
Is that right?
It wants to talk about the caravans.
Krishna.
Is it Krishna?
Anybody there?
Going once.
Going twice.
Going three times.
Bye-bye.
Zach in Pittsburgh.
Zach, the comedian from Pittsburgh.
Zach, how far are you
from the synagogue?
Guys, what's going on?
What? Talk to me.
Somebody talk to me, will you?
He's on the other line.
He called back from a different phone.
Which line would that be?
The second one, you mean?
Okay, here we go.
Zach.
Hi, what's up, Nick?
Give us your take on this, since you're from the Pittsburgh area. What's the temperature like there?
I tell you what i just i just left the synagogue uh um another good uh funny bostonian tom shlom a regular on a show so i called in to do a little live call in from the synagogue on a
show there um i tell you what it was i was fairly familiar with that part of town. It was really sober and pretty sad.
You can just talk about the Halloween directions.
It's a fluid suburb, but you could tell that there was just a lot of young families with kids,
with the toys and different things and decorations you could see in the front yard.
The Pittsburgh police doing a great job, and of course, I told you how much they love you.
But yeah, it was kind of surprising because you could walk right up there uh basically the police had the street open they would kind of guide cars through and they would let people in
like groups go up to where the uh the 11 uh white stars are and if you wanted to say a prayer or
they were wreaths or flowers or things like that. So, yeah, tons of media there.
I got to look into this.
This was kind of goofy.
There was this giant, it had Hebrew writing on it,
in a New York license plate.
It was, I don't know, it was part of a Jewish group,
but it was a mobile emergency command center.
So maybe the Anti-Defamation League,
they literally have like these mobile response
units. I guess they can deploy across the country at any, there's a, any type of, you know,
anti-Jewish violence. So, right. Yeah, it was, um, it was, it was, it was sobering. It was,
it was interesting to see everything there. Uh, the people there, they, they look resolute,
you know, they were sad, but they seemed strong and and this wasn't going to break their back.
And I didn't get any feel.
I think everybody just cares about these people.
There was Pittsburgh, especially.
It's disgusting.
When I drive down there, there's local politicians running to have socialists in the middle of their roadside advertising. They declare it.
But it didn't seem any kind of anti-trump
anti-conservative anti-republican everybody there was pretty psalm and uh the community
seemed to be uh dealing with it the best they could all right zach hey thank you man and uh
it's like we have a reporter on the ground thank you take care man um well yeah and it shouldn't
be politicized but uh one side's jumping right on it
one side's jumping right on it you know don't remember anybody blaming obama for any of the
fucking mass shootings or any of that shit but it you know the uh anytime there's a match you know
right away the anti-gun people are out and whatnot. So should we try...
Now it says Krishna.
Is that right?
Krishna, are you there?
Nick?
Yeah.
Hello?
Hello.
Nick.
I love you so much.
Okay.
Take it easy.
Chat?
Yep, I got a super chat from Chris Kaufman Jr.
Super chat, Chris Kaufman.
I believe he signed up at the Michael Corleone level a few days ago.
What's up, Chris?
The left needs to know.
Bullets beat bite locks.
Dot, dot, dot.
Every time.
Bullets beat bike locks?
Yep.
This is why I'm not crazy about this chat
shit. This is like, you know,
the eighth one and seven of them, I have no idea
what they're fucking talking about.
You don't pay $10, though.
Jason,
look, man, there's cash involved.
Just pretend to...
But here's what you guys do.
Ask them what they mean by that.
Look at Ryan.
He's like Judy from Time Magazine.
Yes, I like to order the mint chess set.
But what does that mean?
Bullet speak bike.
I don't know what the fuck that means.
I guess that means nobody's going to steal your bike if you got a gun.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Speaking of guns, you guys want a pro gun story that you'll never hear in the mainstream media?
This was a very interesting.
It's a heavy show today, folks.
I'm sorry.
When we go, we get done on Thursday.
So you got Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and all kinds of fucking nasty shit breaks loose
right after we say goodnight on Thursday.
It makes for sort of a heavy show.
Then I'll like this.
But what are you going to do?
What are you going to do, okay?
Okay.
Alabama McDonald's gunman killed by armed dad
who was injured in the shootout.
Don't you move, you motherfucker.
I'll blow your brains out.
I'm loving it.
A dad eating with his kids fatally shot masked gunman at a fast food restaurant.
A brave dad armed with a pistol stopped what could have been a mass shooting Saturday
inside an Alabama McDonald's when he took down a masked gunman who had stormed in an open fire.
Again, I didn't know about this.
I had to find it on Drudge or wherever online somewhere.
Why isn't this on CBS?
Good day, are you going to have the dad on?
Maybe you did this morning.
I doubt it.
I don't know.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say
the hero
was not on any of the morning shows.
I could be wrong
because it's a pro-gun
thing. It actually
confirms what Trump said. If somebody was
in the synagogue with a
gun, the people would have been protected.
I love people who argue
against that logic because he said it and I put on one of the Sunday morning shows and somebody
said that was preposterous or something. So what you say to people like that, you go, so if you
were in that synagogue, you're telling me if you were in a synagogue and that guy busted over the
gun, you'd rather have been there with nobody with a gun on your side is that what you're saying
and they they can't answer that because it's pure logic and well no i i thought one one person said
in an article that's crazy if you have somebody with a gun in a church they might not know how
to use it to shoot themselves really yeah it's real hard a guy's 10 feet away. I mean, a kid can do it. You don't believe me?
Look at the Chicago ghettos.
Fucking average shooter's age, 7.
Ay.
The unidentified father,
the unidentified father was leaving the establishment with his sons
when a masked man walked into the Birmingham fast food restaurant.
Will you call it McDonald's?
Quit calling it a restaurant.
Fucking McDonald's is a restaurant.
That's like ragu in a jar
is a bolognese.
And started shooting.
The father returned fire.
You know why? Because he had a gun
to protect other people during the
ensuing shootout. The gunman, the father, and one of the man's teenage sons were struck.
The gunman, who was not identified, later died of his injuries.
Aw, poor baby!
Marcus Washington, that's Marcus M-A-R-K-U-S, Washington.
I'm going to guess a black employee. I'm just going to go out on a limb.
Not because of the spelling, because of the name.
One of the McDonald's employees,
he told the TV station
he was making two quarter pounders. Oh, I love
quarter pounders. Oh, God.
I digress, but I don't
digest after I eat a quarter pound.
I shit my pants.
Quarter pounders? Oh, my God.
You like them?
You like them?
I fucking love them, Nick. I fucking love my quarter pounders. Oh my god. You like them? I fucking love them, Nick.
I fucking love my quarter pounders.
I get a double quarter pounder.
I was in a gig
back in April in Pennsylvania
and the hotel was next to a McDonald's.
I went there twice in one day.
Oh my god.
I just passed the last one
about an hour ago.
That stuff will hang in you.
It will hang in your ass.
Mark my words.
Double quarter pounder with cheese.
Like a hand job.
From a hand model.
What?
Anyways.
He was making two quarter pounders when bullets started to fly.
He ran into the freezer.
I thought their beef was fresh.
Where he heard about 15 shots fired.
Think about that.
How terrifying is that?
Thank God there's a freezer.
That's like one of the safest places you can run it.
Unless it's Friday night and they shut the lights and everybody comes back on Monday.
And you look like Tommy Carbone in the fucking meat truck in Goodfellow.
It took five days for the body to thaw out so we could have an autopsy.
But Marcus Washington's talking about the guy who, he says, all we hear is like different
gunfire.
So my mind imagining everybody is dead.
That has to be terrifying.
He's looking for us.
He says, wrapping my head around it all, I was just wishing someone would come wake me up on this night.
He says of the guy who shot the suspect, he's my hero because I can only imagine how it would have went if he wasn't armed.
Bingo.
We might not be having this interview.
The father is not expected to face charges.
Well, I'm glad you added that.
What does that tell you, that line right there, that final line?
The dad, the hero, is not going to face charges.
Although he would here in New York and some other states.
So I want, let that sink in for about five minutes
that a guy
who saved other people from possibly getting massacred
could face charges in some state.
Think about it.
Like here in New York,
I can't shoot somebody unless like they're in my house
literally choking my wife.
And then why would I want to do that?
It's a joke.
It's a joke, honey.
But seriously, they have to be in your house,
like coming at you. And literally, that's great, huh? What if I'm in my Barker lounge chair and he comes in the back door and I'm watching my favorite show, Jeopardy. I don't hear him coming.
Of course, I watch Jeopardy. I have a gun in my hand at all times
because I hate Alex Trebek.
I like to put one in his Canadian skull.
That's a joke, Alex.
Anyways.
Anyways.
The father is not expected to face our charges.
Let's take one more call and call it a day.
Shall we?
I'd like to.
Kevin in Chicago.
What's up, Nick?
So what I say last week, I said things are going to get uglier and uglier.
Yeah, but Kevin, aren't you the guy that hates Jewish people from Chicago?
No, I don't hate them.
I hate Zionists, Jewish supremacists.
Okay.
Well, I hate any French people myself,
but yes, you did say it's going to get uglier,
and it will,
and I think the bigger point is, Kev,
that they're trying to blame Trump for this shit
and his rhetoric.
That has to stop.
No, I'm going to blame the George Soros's of the world,
the Hollywood people,
the media consolidation of these people.
Okay.
I get you, Drew.
Let's leave it at that.
I don't want to get kicked out of my own house.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Sergeant Peterson is clearing it up for me,
and I should have fucking made the connection.
I took a half a pill.
It's a pill my wife takes to go to sleep,
and I can't handle it.
It fucking makes me brain dead the next day, even a half.
I would have put two and two together.
I actually made two cups of coffee today. I'm not
kidding you. I put the coffee, you know,
the fucking Keurig thing. Walked away
and came back an hour later. There's the
coffee sitting there. Twice.
That's what happens when I take
this shit. It's creepy. But Sergeant Peterson,
obviously I should have made the connection.
How are you, Sarge?
I am fine, Nick. How are you, Sarge? I am fine, Nick.
How are you?
Yeah, I see you clearing it up.
The bike locks are used by, exactly.
I don't know how I missed that.
Right.
It was a professor, college professor,
in some Milo thing or something,
or a Shapiro thing,
and this professor was just winging his bike
lock around, smashing people in the melon.
Ridiculous.
An actual professor
using a bike lock.
It was a professor.
Professor of stupidity.
He's got a PhD.
Hey, Saj, thank you for clearing that up.
I should have known.
My favorite show is Lockup.
I watch Lockup marathons every weekend.
How I didn't know the bike locks.
I like the soap in the pillow, too. I used to hit my brother with that.
I learned that from a prison movie.
Alright, sorry.
Of course!
Tell the chat guy, good point.
I'm sorry I was mentally retarded
and couldn't pick up on it.
That's all I got for a Monday, folks.
Again, I don't know.
I should have had some puppets out here in accordion
because the news is kind of heavy,
but we're here to inform it to fucking, you know,
make six bucks a week.
Fellas, how was your weekend?
Jason, I heard you stayed in.
I did.
I watched The Shining.
Good movie.
You watched The Shining?
I'm glad you did that, Jason,
because we've given you seven movie references
and you haven't fucking looked at any of them.
Yeah, no, I didn't listen to any of them.
I did like The Shining, though, so.
Yeah, well, you understand the show has a certain flavor.
If you don't,
you haven't seen The Godfather?
It's not Jack Nicholson flailing an axe around in a hotel.
Oh, please.
I see that every weekend when I go on the road.
They put me up in those fucking Section 8.
I was at a hotel.
This is true.
It was a hotel in, what is it, McGolby's, outside of Baltimore.
It's three in the afternoon.
I walk out in the hallway, and there's like a whole family of black people in their robes,
walking around like four of them are carrying their bed pillows
and their slippers and shit.
And I go, what the?
And then I realized they were like living on that floor.
They were going to an underground
pillow fight.
I realize white people also
walk around at three in the morning with pillows, or three in the afternoon
I should say. I just want to clarify that.
And there are Asian people who walk around with their pillows
at three in the afternoon
in their slippers and stuff.
But at the same time, they're working.
They're fucking, you know.
Anyhow.
And Ryan, real quickly,
did you do anything?
I watched a horror TV series
called Black Mirror.
Black Mirror?
Yeah.
Can you spell that?
Is it like cashmere?
Or is it black?
Black Mirror.
Oh, I thought you said Black Mayor, like the mayor of Baltimore or something.
Yeah, like the mayor.
That's a scary guy.
So none of them have watched.
We have given these guys at least seven movie references that they should.
Literally American classics.
I mean, fucking Cuckoo's Nest?
Oh, you've seen Cuckoo's Nest?
Yeah.
Jason's seen it. I haven't.
It's better than anything's been made
since you were fucking born, Ryan.
And I could give you six others.
How about True Romance?
Oh, Tarantino?
Tarantino?
I've seen Tarantino movies.
Yeah, that's the same thing. Thanks for throwing that in, Chase.
I've gone to a movie.
I'm trying to contribute.
You guys are actually funny
today and you don't even know it. Alright, that's it.
Remember George Foreman after he won the gold medal?
I knocked a motherfucker out.
I knocked a motherfucker out. I knocked the motherfucker out.
Wow.
Look at this.
Made in China.
Says right there, made in China.
All right, folks, that is it.
Thank you again for tuning in.
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Get all those. Make me rich
because I'm tired of doing this shit. I'm going to go upstairs
and take a fucking 14-hour nap.
All right? We'll see you tomorrow.
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