The Nick DiPaolo Show - REPEAT: Special Guest Dave Smith! | Nick Di Paolo Show #231
Episode Date: August 26, 2021Trump and Biden Spar over Ukraine Call. Dave Smith....
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Hi boys and girls, Nick DiPaolo here.
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Thank you so much.
In this episode, I'm joined by very funny Dave Smith
and talk about Trump and Biden sparring over the Ukraine phone call.
Remember when that was the issue and not 20,000 people on a tarmac in Kabul?
Enjoy and have a great weekend, everybody. Oh yeah!
Welcome!
Another week!
Monday!
Going to you live!
Today on the show we've got a great comic, Dave Smith, Libertarian, has a great podcast
called Part of the Problem. He hosts
that. Legion of Skanks, he hosts a show
there. Really smart,
really funny.
One of the guys I watch and I go, God damn, how did I
miss that? He's sharp as a tack.
We'll have him on at the bottom
of the hour, as they say.
So it's going to be
very enjoyable, I can tell you that much.
I want all of you to enjoy your cake.
So, enjoy.
Thank you.
Shout outs for contributions.
Marlene Wise.
Ira Zipperer.
Ira Zipperer.
If that guy is not an accountant,
oh, Nick, that's kind of a Jewish joke.
Yeah, well, Steve O'Reilly, if he's not a drunk.
Andrew Herman.
I have no fucking idea what he is.
Anyways, thank you guys so much for contributing.
You go to nickdip.com.
People, you know, you sign up at Patreon and you can contribute.
There's a million ways you can keep me in these $12 polyester shirts.
Mother's not going to ask.
Rich, how are you doing today?
I'm doing well, Nick.
Thanks for asking.
Yeah, great.
Anyways, let's get right to it, shall we?
By the way, I've got to go to Utah, Salt Lake City.
I'm doing Wise Guys Thursday.
So we won't be doing a show Thursday.
Can't help it.
Only flights.
I only had a couple options.
So I have to fly out of here in the morning.
Oh, it's great.
I'll connect in fucking, you know, Kalamazoo.
And then on to Denver to get to wherever the fuck.
I'm telling you, man.
I'm telling you.
The goal is to never leave this desk and make a lot of money. I love stand-up. I'm telling you, man. I'm telling you. The goal is to never
leave this desk and make a lot of money. I love standing, but still my favorite thing while I'm
doing it. The traveling, you can stick up your wazoo. Nobody fucking likes it. They don't pay
us to tell jokes. They pay us to stand in line, go through TSA, get up at six in the morning,
call Ubers that don't show. That's what we get paid for. Telling dick jokes at midnight.
Piece of fucking cake.
Anyways, speaking of dicks, Trump, what?
That doesn't sound like Nick.
It isn't.
Still love him.
Still love him.
He's out there just slinging shit at the media.
I don't like to get heavy into politics, into weeds,
but this story we have to about the anonymous whistleblower who was listening when Trump talked to the president of Ukraine, Zelensky, who, by the way, was a comedian actor turned president.
So watch out 2020.
That's right.
Me and Giuliani on the ticket.
Pap Buchanan, his secretary of state.
And John Madden.
I'm throwing him in there.
Anyways, you guys know about this.
On July 25th, Trump was talking to Zelensky, the president of Ukraine,
and the Dems are saying, well, there's a whistleblower who was listening in.
We don't know who this fucking guy is, supposedly.
Trump says he doesn't know.
Once again, it's the same horseshit.
Just the way the Russian hoax went down.
Somebody leaked something.
Once again, it's the same horseshit.
Just the way the Russian hoax went down.
Somebody leaked something.
The whistleblowers said Trump made some concerning promises to a foreign president of Ukraine and blah, blah, blah.
Nobody knows who it is and all this absolute horseshit.
Trump says, you know, I don't know who the fuck he's talking about. I don't know nothing about that.
But Trump says, listen, first of all, when a guy, when a president talks to another president, you know, there's a guy, there's like eight guys typing exactly sitting in the room with Trump, not to mention other people listening in on the call.
But he's the only guy that's complaining that Trump did something very concerning.
And of course, the Dems who have nothing to run on other than AOC's big fucking giant teeth and the Green New Deal and that titless Liz Warren who's drawing 12,000.
I'm afraid for the country.
You go out to see that pixie stick.
Anyways, so they're going.
Trump said, even Pelosi came out and said, if we don't know who the whistleblower is, if this administration doesn't tell Congress, even I'm going to be for impeachment.
Go ahead.
Let it fly.
You guys got
nothing. Trump denied knowing the identity of the whistleblower who filed a formal complaint about a
call to the president earlier this summer with a foreign leader, but attacked the, Trump attacked
the president as a partisan and called the unfolding controversy just another political
hack job. He says, I do not know the identity of the whistleblower, which he
said, asked by a reporter if the call in
question was when he had July 25th
with the president of Ukraine.
Trump claimed he didn't know,
but then he characterized that conversation
as beautiful.
It's like Nixon, I never did anything
wrong, and I promise never to do it
again.
But again, where are the other people complaining
that heard the call where's the guy that was taking yeah come on it's like a party line it's
Saturday night you're lonely talking to dirty whores and there's 11 people in the isn't that
how that works rich uh the call uh the call the whistleblower has complained about involved that
Ukraine multiple sources familiar with the matter, told ABC News.
So you know it's true.
Trump did not name President Zelensky in several tweets earlier Friday, taking issue with news reports about a call he said he had with a certain leader saying there was nothing said wrong.
It was pitch perfect, he said.
We actually have some audio.
We tapped in at the Nick DiPaolo show. We tapped in.
We actually have the conversation between Zelensky and Trump.
Comrade, here is something that might be of interest to you.
A transcript of the conversation between your helicopter pilot and his commander.
We intercept Dragonfly Wolf 10.
Colorful names.
That's part of it.
Trump was asked whether the discussion was about the former President Joe Biden, Vice President.
The current frontrunner in the Democratic presidency.
They think they were trying to dig up shit on Biden.
The president said, it doesn't matter what I discuss, but later suggested that someone should look into Biden.
It doesn't matter. He says, all I will say is this, somebody ought to look into Biden's statement
because it was disgraceful the way he talked about billions of dollars that he's not giving
to a certain country unless a certain prosecutor is taken off the case
so somebody ought to look into that but this is where i love trump he says and you wouldn't
because he's a democrat and the fake news doesn't look into things like that it's a disgrace that's
what he's saying it's not going to be long before you all kill yourselves because you're all crazy
and what he's talking about is biden was bragging uh about biden's son hunter
sits on the board of a corrupt company energy company over in ukraine and there was a bunch
of people suing that company okay and the prosecutor the prosecutor that was going to
take down hunter biden's company whatever uh. Biden went over there and demanded he get canned immediately.
And he was bragging about it.
Here's Biden losing his fucking mind.
And I had gotten a commitment from Poroshenko and from Yatsenyuk
that they would take action against the state prosecutor, and they didn't.
So they said they were walking out to press conference and I said,
we're not going to give you the billion dollars they said you have
no authority you're not the president the president said i said call him i said i'm telling you you're
not getting a billion dollars i said you're not getting a billion i'm going to be leaving here
and i think it was what six hours i look i said i'm leaving in six hours. If the prosecutor's not fired, you're not getting the money.
Oh, son of a bitch.
Got fired.
Oh, well, there you go.
So what's going to happen?
This is all going to backfire.
They want to know who the, this started with the whistleblower, Ukraine, blah, blah, blah. But if you dig further into it, Biden's involved.
And him and the DNC might have been trying to influence.
It might have been collusion with the 2016.
Now, this is going to boomerang in their face if the Republicans keep digging like they're supposed to.
He's up there bragging a few months ago.
I told him you're not going to get the fucking money.
He wanted that prosecutor fired.
fired um a more extensive readout from the ukrainian president's office however noted that the two also spoke about investigations into corruption cases that have hampered interaction
between ukraine and the usa the president's personal lawyer rudy giuliani pictured here
the great rudy giuliani you can't tell me that's not Giuliani.
Put up the real picture of him.
You can't tell.
What the fuck?
It's the same guy.
Has publicly, privately urged in recent months for Ukrainian officials to investigate ties between Biden's diplomatic efforts in the country and any connections between his son's business ventures.
This is all going to come back to kick him in the country and any connections between his son's business ventures. This is all going to
come back to kick him in the ass. Here's what Biden responded to Giuliani. Not one single
credible outlet has given any credibility to his assertions, not single one. Now, who do you think
he means by credible outlets, Biden? This is how I know Giuliani's telling the truth. Who do you think he means? CNN, NBC, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, New York Times.
That's how you know he's telling the truth.
In my opinion.
So I have no comment except the president should start to be president.
Fuck it.
In his tweets Friday morning, Trump attacked Adam Schiff, pencil neck geek, who came out of his fucking mouse hole.
Demanding details of the whistleblower complaint Adam Schiff's demanding.
He's threatening impeachment again.
How many bites at the apple does this jerk off get?
The radical left Democrats and their fake news media partners, headed up again by little Adam Schiff, this is Trump talking,
and batting zero for 21 against me are at it again.
They think I may have had a dicey conversation with a certain foreign leader
based on highly partisan whistleblower statement.
Strange, Trump says, with so many other people hearing and knowing
of the perfectly fine and respectful conversation,
boys, he laying it on thick, that they would not have also come forward.
Do you know the reason why they did not?
Because there was nothing said wrong.
It was pitch perfect.
It was like Adele doing her third album.
DNI Inspector General Michael Atkinson, September 9th,
letter to the House Intelligence Committee noted the complaint rose to a level of urgent concern
and appeared credible enough to warrant congressional notification.
rose to a level of urgent concern and appeared credible enough
to warrant congressional notification.
The DNI's general counsel
and the Department of Justice, however,
disputed that characterization of the complaint,
resulting in a constitutional showdown
between Congress and the Trump administration
regarding matters of potentially privileged material.
Didn't you learn anything from the Russia hoax
from Brett Kavanaugh?
You're going to get smoked again.
Oh my fuck, these guys are relentless. I could be wrong, but, you know, I'm going to go out on a limb again. And Rich,
what are you doing? Super chat came in. Oh, boy. This is four dollars. I know I'm kidding. I could
use the cash. First of all, let's let's go to Giuliani. Did you see him on Sunday morning?
Here's the other big beef.
The Dems are saying this is inappropriate for the president to send his personal lawyer
to snoop around in foreign affairs and go after somebody like Biden.
Oh, really?
That's almost as bad as Obama in the deep state trying to fucking kick out a duly elected president.
It's all coming back to bite you right in the balls.
Fucking Giuliani's out of his mind, though.
I love him.
President Trump's personal lawyer,
Rudy Giuliani, was on Fox News Sunday
on John Roberts explaining his comments
about fact-finding trip to Ukraine
regarding alleged corruption involving Biden's son.
That's Hunter Biden, by the way,
and a Ukrainian energy company. What's Giuliani, man? He's a pit bull. They say he likes to hit the sauce before he goes on TV. This isn't going to dispel that. But I would have this guy. He's
as smart as a whip. He's America's mayor and the president's pitbull.
But here he is on Fox News Channel at his best.
And is it appropriate for you as a representative of the president to be going to Ukraine and finding dirt on Joe Biden and or his son to use politically in 2020?
That's the way you characterize it. Certainly. That's the way it appears to line up.
No, it doesn't. You went there for one thing, you turned it into something else, and that's what you've been digging into.
That is the way the pro-Biden media lines it up.
This began with someone coming to me saying, this information can clear your client about the corruption in Ukraine
between Ukraine, the Democratic Party, the ambassador, and the FBI agent who investigated the case.
But then it morphs into Biden.
Inextricably combined.
Because Biden had the guy fired.
Shoken.
By the way, his statement's on record.
The lazy press could go read it.
Don't have to listen to me.
There are three videotapes of prosecutors on record.
Available on here that nobody has covered for five years.
Buffering.
Because this town protects Joe Biden. Buffering. and the kid he takes him on Air Force two to China that was a 2013 yeah unfortunately
is a drug addict China didn't give 1.5 billion what drug to his kid right up I know it did a
recovering drug addict carries stepson and whity bulgers nephew ladies and gentlemen go look at
what the press has been covering up on you.
Can you imagine?
This is a company called Rosemont Seneca.
Let me just come back if I could.
John, you've got to stop for a second.
Whitey Bulger's nephew?
Let me just stop for a second. $1.5 billion coming from China?
Not vice president?
That doesn't shock you?
Let me stop for a second.
Man, how far have we deteriorated?
Let me stop for a second because we are throwing around a lot of Ukrainian names that's it seriously the
lazy press seriously though he's have you heard of any of this shit oh so is
Giuliani making it up whiz where's the fucking press that's supposed to go
after both sides it's the presses job to hold both sides accountable, to keep power in check.
But it's so fucking one-way slanted.
You really think NBC, ABC, CBS, New York Times is going to dig up dirt on Biden?
God bless Giuliani.
That's all I got to say.
So he says, these are very important things that have been covered up to protect slimy Joe.
This is going to get bigger and bigger.
Everything I say I can prove.
Take me on, is what he said.
I'm going to find out what the hell happened here.
Look at that cat smile.
Just swallowed a canary.
Look at him.
Here's something interesting. just swallowed a canary look at him here's here's some interest zelensky the president of the ukraine was a comedian slash actor okay he got it he was on a tv show over there where he played a school
teacher who happened to somehow run for president and won and his his uh character was very anti
establishment almost like Trump.
And it was like a huge hit.
Here's a trailer for the show, I think, hopefully.
Good evening, friends.
Oh, he's hot as Trudeau. Yummy, yummy. He's got a lot of blood on his hands and a lot of principles.
If Ukraine gets a little bit complicated.
And here's the same linguistic'm for whom the question is
you know what?
live as you live, your lips are closed
and that's normal
came a poor peasant
we start in booths, it's clear
and choose not from two f**king times
choose less
and so 25 years in a row
you see, if I had one week, they would send me there if it was possible, I would f**king be in the middle No, that's a little bit.
Fuck the motorcades, fuck the perks.
And there's a bowling trophy by you.
This is him actually announcing his presidency in New Year's Eve. А чому? Це він, мабуть, анонсує свій президентський різництво. Відповідно, втрата від старичків, називаємо їх так, у людей.
Відповідно, зрозуміло, що я відкритий людина.
І я це не просто показую, я так живу і жив до того, як я балотувався.
Тобто це не ноу-хау, це не хайп.
На початку лютого симпатії виборців розподілилися так найбільше майже 27 тисяч. In February, the sympathy of voters spread to the largest, almost 27.
We dream that someday, in the near future, there will be an announcement.
He has to return his kingdom to his new palace. We will confiscate it.
Here he is on a game show.
There you go.
Okay.
This is genius.
He got a TV show where he played, it was like a campaign ad for him,
for however long the show's running.
Right?
I'm telling you, the Ukrainians are that fucking clever.
Slash Russians, I don't know the difference.
I know Russia took a nice chunk of it under Obama,
and he sat there with his hand on his pussy,
doing absolutely nothing,
while Michelle grabbed the big giant balls.
That's unnecessary. Ah, fuck off.
Pretty interesting, though, huh?
Now he's the president.
That's right, a comedian-turned-president.
I'm announcing my run for 2036.
Sure, I'll be 87, but that's not the point.
I'll have wisdom and knowledge and four more gigs under my belt.
It's good marks.
All right.
So anyways, believe what you want to believe, but I'm glad Giuliani's on it and everybody else.
And this is going to be the most interesting race in the history of goddamn politics.
He's got that, right?
Dig that shit up on Biden.
And he's got the Russian hoax, which he hasn't mentioned at any of his rallies yet. He's got that, right? Dig that shit up on Biden. And he's got the Russian hoax,
which he hasn't mentioned at any of his rallies yet. He's got more than enough ammunition.
Here's my big concern. I've said it before, since Google controls all the, everything we read about
on the internet and TV and the whole, they've been, and the mainstream media has been telling
what an asshole Trump is for four years, come 2020, It'll be four years. And lying and lying
and lying. And eventually, you know what
happens? The people who rely
on television, the mainstream media,
eventually they go, we just want quiet
and be, you know, we'll put anybody in there.
That's my big concern.
They just created so much
havoc. They're not going to fucking impeach him.
On to some more political shit. This is
political today. Sorry. I got some
dick jokes coming. Hitler's wife's
underwear was found in a trench.
Gonna have a good laugh about that.
Fucking Hitler the panty sniffer.
It's the only thing I liked about the guy. I mean,
everybody likes a dirty pair of panties. Am I right?
Pompeo, by the way, says
Saudi oil. We might be on the brink of war, hopefully
I mean, not hopefully, I mean
I don't mean hopefully, I'm not a hawk, I really
I want peace in the world
I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony
and have a Diet Coke and all that other shit
Pompeo says Saudi oil plant plant attack was state on state
act of war by Iran
I fucking he was on the Sunday morning show
you wanna go to war come on do you wanna go to war
we'll take you to war okay
hello I'm man
hello I'm man
you wanna go to war come on do you wanna go to war
we'll take you to war okay
hey coño
coño
take it easy Come on. Do you want to go to war? We'll take you to war. Okay? Tony, coño. Hey, coño, Tony.
Tony, take it easy.
Here we go.
Here he is on, Pompey was on Sunday accusing Iran of committing state and state act of war,
saying the Trump administration has irrefutable evidence that shows an attack last week on oil facilities in Saudi Arabia was organized by AOC and the squad.
What? No.
And was organized directly by the government of Tehran.
Here's Pompeo.
There's three clips I'm going to show you here.
Here's the first one.
Is there any question that the attack was launched from Iran?
No reasonable person doubts precisely who conducted these strikes.
And it is reasonable intelligence
community's determination that is likely the case that these were launched from iran you
you've seen the pictures that came from the north that came from the north this is a sophisticated
attack these weapon systems had ranges that could not have come from the houthis it is crazy for
anyone to assert that they did i mean it is literally nuts on its face to make an assertion that this was an attack on Houthis.
Nuts on its face? I don't mean to...
This was Iran, true and true,
and the United States will respond in a way
that reflects that act of war
by this Iranian revolutionary regime.
Mm. He looks good.
He's losing weight as he does his job.
It's just, uh...
He doesn't play, though.
This broad kept interrupting him.
At one point, he throws a forearm shiver
right to the tip of her nose.
Knox was silly.
Listen to who he blames. And he's dead on here, in my opinion.
Listen to who he blames for this mess with the Saudis.
And this has been going on forever, Saudis and Iran, but here you go.
It seems Iran's behavior is getting worse, not better, based on the Trump administration's campaign.
You've been very aggressive with these sanctions.
Why do you think sanctioning them leads to better behavior?
Margaret, you start the clock at the wrong point.
I'm talking about what happened this summer.
1979 is the trajectory of the Iranian revolution.
Forty years of terror.
Forty years of terror. 40 years of terror.
The previous administration chose to arm them,
to provide the wealth and resources
that have underwritten these very attacks
that we're seeing today.
They were able to build out these missile systems.
They were able to improve it.
That's when it all started.
She, like everybody else, thinks
all this started going sour when Trump got in.
Had nothing to do with Obama sending a crate, literally a crate with what was it?
How many billion rich? I think it was five.
Nice guess. It was a lot. It was like one hundred and fifty billion with a B or million.
Does it matter? He sent it literally on a pallet crates of cash to terror,
literally on a pallet crates of cash to terror which is what they're using now to to attack that ship in the united arab emirates uh to shoot the drone out of this all that what do you what do
you think they get the money that's right deke your favorite president obama it was 400 million
400 million okay where'd you get that figure google thanks you might have want to done that
before you threw out the five fucking million jesus h christ hello ease finally uh listen to
this she asked him about what we're going to do are we going to be you know sit on our hands and
be kind to and listen to this this will put you but suffice it to say building up defensive presence and
sanctions are not the limit of what the trump administration will do oh goodness no
oh goodness no he said you want to go to war come on do you want to go to war we think it's a war
okay durka durka muhammad jihad haka sherpa sherpa a bacala for christ's, they have the parts.
They have all the parts and stuff.
It was obviously the parts were made in frigging Iran.
And they keep saying it's the Houthis from the south.
And we're like, we have evidence.
So again, you know, Trump doesn't want to get into unnecessary wars, but you've got to show some balls.
And I know you can do the cyber attack thing, but we want to see it.
You can't watch cyber attacks on CNN.
That might be selfish of me, but very interesting.
Pompeo was taking no shit from Face the Nation.
She kept interrupting with her left-wing talking points and horse shit, and he's like,
no, we are not playing games.
I should have sent you this picture.
Have you seen the army?
I saw a picture of the Iranian army.
They have these white fur hats on,
and they're in their pajamas.
I'm pretty sure we have weapons
that can penetrate fucking bathrobes.
They have like wigs on like fucking Phil Spector. I saw that picture and I go,
this is going to be more one-sided than the Gulf War. Goodness gracious, Eloise.
Hey, coming up, do we have him? I'm excited about our guest today. This guy is a libertarian comic, and he's really smart, really goddamn funny.
He has a podcast, Part of the Problem, and he hosts a podcast on Legion of Skanks.
And like I said, he's one of these guys I watch, and he touches on some political and social stuff.
And I'm like, how did I miss that?
And real interesting guy.
I had him on my radio show.
Welcome to the show, Dave Smith.
What's going on, brother?
Good to be here.
Appreciate you coming on, Dave.
What's your take?
First of all, since you're a comic, let's get right to it.
I wish this story would go away, too, but I'm interested in your take.
Because I know you're a victim of some of this shit, too,
because even libertarians have to watch what they say.
But Shane Gillis and the whole chink thing, which was one of my favorite words until he did this.
That's a joke.
I mean, come on.
I mean, it's so disappointing.
Yes, I know SNL and NBC.
That doesn't surprise me because NBC, I mean, Jesus Christ, you can't get more liberal in
Lorne Michaels and show business and blah, blah, blah.
But how about the other comics coming out against them?
What's your opinion on those douchebags?
I mean, those people.
Oh, man, it's it's despicable.
I mean, for as a comic for to see comedians coming out against them, that's like the most
outrageous thing
and and it's weird and when you said before about like libertarians get the shit or conservatives
it's really anybody who's not with the religion of the left so anybody who's not you know like
as michael malice calls the cathedral of the left like if you don't believe every one of their their
dogmatic points about you know if you're not on board with like transgender bathrooms or whatever, if you're not on that plantation, then you're in trouble.
And shit, dude, there was one there.
I think it was in the Atlantic.
It was one of those shit.
Oh, one of those right wing things.
Yeah, they were.
They said they quoted him and they go.
Shane Gillis said, referring to Judd Apatow, talking about his depression, that this was, quote, gayer than ISIS.
And I just, how could you read that and not think it's hilarious?
Like, how could you not think it's hilarious to describe someone as gayer than ISIS?
Even in your outrage, when you, like, I know there's someone on your staff who was chuckling when they read this piece.
They go, Judd Apatow is gayer than ISIS.
Look, Shane's a hilarious dude, man, and it sucks.
It sucks that he had to get raked over the coals.
Is ISIS gay, by the way?
I mean, when you really start to think about it, the whole thing is kind of gay.
Is it?
I don't know.
It seems a bunch of dudes hanging out in fucking caves.
Now, wait a minute.
That's what I do every weekend with my friends.
Yeah.
50.
And it's pretty gay.
They stone gay people to death,
and they push them off the tops of buildings.
But yes, usually the real,
the people who are anti-gay have that streak in them.
Yeah, that's right.
It's like that gay dude was about to tell him
that this guy was fucking him in the butt like a week ago,
so he was like,
better kill this guy before work gets out.
Yeah, so I was very disappointed seeing other comics come out.
And my statement, and I saw you were upset, and it doesn't bother me because those comics that are not, it's very simple.
If you're not for free speech, you're not a comic.
It's the best thing about our job we can say
shit that you can't say in an office that 90 of the people go to every day from nine to five
it's my favorite part of being a stand-up i thought that was what it was all about you know
like and it's changed so much in the time that i've been a comic like i've been doing stand-up
for about 12 years and i feel like when i started everybody wanted to be that balls out edgy comic like that's that's what people went for
you know even if you went to like an open mic 12 years ago and and they suck you know every
open micers suck in general that's like where you're learning how to do this shit but everyone
would be going for the most edgy thing like you know like it'd be like you know like some open
mic comic doing some like rape a baby joke or something and it'd be kind of cringy but people were trying to be edgy and now
it's almost like the the young comics are trying to be like tattletales but it's it's so bizarre
snitches they're fucking they don't have the dna of a comic and i'll tell you there's two levels
that really it really bothers me number one is
what you just said it's like you don't have the dna of a comic that's not what a comic is supposed
to be and the second thing that bothers me is the more political aspect of it which is kind of
impossible to ignore because it's all about left-wing orthodoxies like i was watching the
other day um i just saw the clip online of uh the latest the the latest roast
the uh um uh what's his name yeah alec baldwin the alec baldwin roast and i watched nikki glazier's
uh set they had her clip up there and by the way i'm not kidding it was really fucking funny like
whatever dude wrote that for her is very talented so i'm not like shitting on
i'm kidding by the way i love nikki i love you too i mean
i i listened to a radio show in the car she's actually very good on the radio and she's in her
own head like but it's funny a lot of a lot of broad comics are in their own head and there's
nothing there like lena fucking dunham whatever she was but nikki's kind of funny and she was
talking about it on her show going the rose, talking about how she –
and so I don't watch them anymore because, you know, I helped get that franchise started, and they don't call me anymore.
Well, that's the thing, and it's not a coincidence where your politics are and where her politics are and why someone doesn't get there.
And then it's like this thing where it's this weird game.
So anyway, the reason I brought up Nikki brought nick he's really funny by the way but she has this one joke great it was a great
joke about uh casey anthony she had one bit where she was like i think she was ripping uh somebody
for their parenting she goes at least casey anthony knows where her kid is yes joke hilarious
hilarious joke but what's interesting about it is nobody's getting offended over that like that's
completely fine you can make a dead kid joke you can make like that's no big deal it's but if you make a
transgender joke now we have to get offended if you say chink now we have to get offended so it's
only when you you like push back against one of the left-wing orthodoxies then we all have to get
offended and it's like for anybody who doesn't isn't a left-wing guy well why the fuck do i have to play this game i despise the left why do i have to play on their
turf where we'll only get offended by a joke that's about like race or gender or whatever
and and but at the same time any of these things are just fine well it doesn't hurt that it came
out of the mouth of a female comic number one yes i know they can get in a little bit of trouble but this is the other thing is certain grades of trouble you can get it came out of the mouth of a female comic, number one. Yes, I know they can get in a little bit of trouble.
But this is the other thing.
There's certain grades of trouble you can get in.
It comes out of your mouth.
Mine could cost you your career.
I keep coming back to this point.
The best example is Tracy Morgan when his wife was pregnant saying,
if the baby's gay, I'm going to kill it.
And he's hosting SNL this year.
And he has a show on TBS.
Again, black guy.
I've been trying to tell people,
people act like this political correct wave,
this censorship affects everybody equally,
female comics, black comics, gay comics,
when it was created to shut me up and you up
more than anybody,
and I keep trying to explain that.
Like Chappelle Special,
I'm talking to Dave Smith, by the way. Chappelle Special, I mean, he's as good as anybody. And I keep trying to explain that. Like Chappelle's special, I'm talking to Dave Smith, by the way.
Chappelle's special,
he's as good as anybody. I said
that before. I don't think Pryor or
Chris Rock has anything on this guy.
He's one of my favorite comics of all time,
smooth as silk, and I love
the special, but my
problem was the people that react to the special.
He's fearless. Where the
fuck's the fearlessness?
Well, he could get punished.
Were they going to cut him down from $40 million to $20 million a special?
That's right.
I mean, that's the point where if a Colin Quinn or a Norm Macdonald, let's say, back in the day, if he said that today, you're gone.
I'm going to kill my baby if it's going to happen.
That's to me the best example.
I keep going back to it.
No, absolutely. But it's like, so somebody like,
um,
right.
Like Chappelle,
it's like,
Oh,
he's,
he's,
he's so ballsy for doing this shit.
And like,
okay,
fine.
Like he,
yeah,
there was a balls out special.
Sure.
Great special.
I loved it.
But it's like,
look at what he lost compared to what Shane Gillis just lost.
Shane didn't get one sketch off on SNL.
And now who the fuck knows what that guy's going to do with his career. Whereas like you said, Chappelle is, is fine. He's getting tens of
millions of dollars for, for one special he's, he's doing just fine. And that's the point I was
trying to make on my podcast was like for all the comics. And I see this a lot where once it's one
of their own gets in trouble, like once somebody who's like left leaning gets in trouble with the
PC cops, then you start seeing a lot of this, like, all right, guys, this is getting a little bit too crazy.
We don't want to ruin Dave Chappelle.
We don't want to take down this guy.
You know, it's like, yeah, Justin Trudeau was in blackface, but come on.
He apologized.
Yes.
It's like, oh, yeah.
Where was that?
When Megyn Kelly never wore blackface, she just wasn't sufficiently outraged by the idea of blackface.
But she used to work for fox news so
that bitch has to go yeah but justin trudeau who's the fucking prime minister of canada
he gets to just be like oh yeah i did blackface yeah you know it's white privilege blah blah and
they're like oh okay you can stay so that's the thing that's why i was saying for all these comics
defending dave chappelle who was defending you who was defending owen benjamin who's defending
when is there ever a right-wing guy who you'll give the same kind of like,
oh, okay, he's just being brave?
It's their religion.
Showbiz is ultra-liberal.
I've always said this.
If you lean right on two out of 50 issues in showbiz,
you're a Nazi.
So I lean 48 out of 50 to give you an idea.
But no, you're right about Chappelle.
And by the way, Trudeau and blackface,
people going, oh my God,
it's right before the election.
Yeah, he's going to lose a huge swath
of black voters up in Vancouver
and fucking Calgary.
Only thing black in Canada are hockey pucks
and some oil in fucking Edmonton.
What are we getting here?
Oh God, I think the Subban brother,
P.K. Subban and his,
nobody knows hockey, but those are two black guys.
They're tremendous hockey players.
I'm sure they're pissed.
And a couple of rappers in Toronto.
But yeah, him with the he was doing the Latin, first of all.
But it's good to see a guy like that who preaches this horse shit, have it come back and bite him in the ass.
That's my only pleasure in it.
Well, and also and that's the same thing, like comedians which i don't get at all it's like for comedians who are jumping into this social justice warrior pc shit it's like do you really
want to play this game do you think there's nothing you've ever said there's there's no
comedian who doesn't have something on their track record where you stepped out of bounds
because that's just like what we do i can't find i've looked at my thing i can't find anything
i got i was supposed to do an applebee's commercial this is a true story about 10 years ago
my agent sets it up they're gonna give me 22 grand to go down to atlanta shoot an applebee's
commercial with uh the announcer of the Braves, Chip Carrey,
and somebody else, two famous guys. And it was all set to go. At the 11th hour, I get up the
next morning, there's a text from my agent. They're saying, no, they went through, I don't
know why they didn't do this in the first, they went through stuff on social media, found some
of my roast jokes, some of the shit I said when I was roasting Artie Lang and Howard Stern,
had some killer Jew
jokes in there that didn't fly with the Applebee's people.
I wouldn't have to rob
in a black one. It was the funniest shit ever.
Next thing I know, no $22,000.
Which means I had
to do skid marks in Buffaloes five or six times
to make the...
Yeah, like you said,
you can go back in anybody's history i
wish the people on the right would start digging a little harder and a little faster i mean alec
baldwin alec baldwin who's hosting uh you know who's on snl he called a black journalist a coon
and a crackhead in new york yeah i mean arrested multiple times and like he fucking called his
daughter a pig or some shit it's like that was true she was kind of chubby and she's very hoary but um no no listen everybody's telling the truth
here my point is just shame can't tell the truth about the jew chinks so if we can all call
even i was watching that go i don't even fucking understand
he goes a lot of china a lot of china down there a lot of chinese a lot of chinese
but i'll tell you you know there's something about it it's funny is that shane is like a red state
guy who comes from like a very working class background and they detest that that's the thing
this is a great irony of of the left is that these like left-leaning socialist types they claim to be
championing the working class championing the the black community none of their values are at all
in line with what the working class or like do you really think like being sensitive to transgender
people is the blacks yeah antonio brown's big on that He was leading a march. No, that's such a good point.
You know, I always say this.
Who do you think the average American has more?
The working class person has more in common with who?
A Hillary Clinton or a Donald Trump or an Obama?
Who can they relate to more?
I mean.
Right.
And then it's like
when you get this tape of Donald Trump,
the grab him by the pussy thing,
and it's like these elite, you know,
like media coastal types
trying to talk to the middle of the country
and go, aren't you so outraged?
I mean, have you ever heard anything like that?
And they're like, yes, every day.
We all talk that way.
Like, what are you saying?
Who are you talking to?
Where do you think pussies are nice enough to be grabbed in Hollywood?
Fucking Ohio.
Fucking Baltimore.
But like they're they're talking that way, too.
It's just this act.
It's like this act that you're supposed to put on in front of the camera.
And it's it's it's it reminds me of you remember that that that clip when Patrice was on Fox News and they start going over all the angry pirate and that shit and what he was saying?
And then the cameraman starts cracking up at one point.
And Patrice turns to him and does a whole thing.
He's like, why are you laughing?
Well, that's who cracks up at it.
That's who cracks up.
The cameraman.
Yeah.
It's not the guy on camera.
The best grip guy.
Right.
Yeah.
Yes.
But that's who's laughing.
Like the fucking worker who's gonna go
grab a drink with his boys and they'll be joking like this after the show that's who's laughing at
this shit so it's all it's all an act and that's that's the irony it's always been of socialism
it's this elitist philosophy that's always elites who are involved in it who claim they're standing
up for the average working man but go go talk to the average worker and see what their views on fucking – on trannies are.
They're not going to line up with you.
Dave, who – this is a famous quote.
Who said kill all the intellectuals first?
I don't know.
Hitler?
I think it was Brett Baier on Fox News.
No, it was somebody like that.
It was somebody, but it's the one thing I agreed with.
It was some dictator.
But kill all the intellectuals.
Let's, you know.
Yeah, no, it made a few good points.
Kill all the intellectuals and the Jews are running Applebee's.
Oh, yeah, and we're talking to Dave Smith smith uh... the uh... very funny a libertarian
comedian out of new york and he's got a great podcast uh... part of the problem
but he's not he's part of the solution he's out there taking in the face every
day like me
i i know we're in trouble david and this was when jay lennon was hosting the
tonight show and i know liberals who are going to see this will they not going to
see them watch me too close-minded.
But people are going to go, oh, the poor
white guys, they always give you that
knee-jerk reaction. Oh, you're so oppressed.
Shut the fuck up. Actually, we are right now
as far as to what we can say.
Not in life, but I'm just talking as far
as this goes. But I was watching
the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and Lisa Lampanelli
was at the height of her fame.
She's on there doing black
jokes.
I mean, like, you know,
fucking really racist shit.
How do you keep a,
I don't know, how do you stop a black
guy hiding his welfare check under his work boots?
Some shit like Jay's there cackling
and I'm going, what the fuck am I
watching here?
That was the first, that was, I mean, that was 20, probably, I don't know, 15 years ago,
whenever Jay was on, but I'm like, how the fuck, oh, that's right, she's abroad,
who says she slept with a thousand black guys, and, you know, I'm not going to say that yet.
But that's what, and that's what there's a big reaction against now,
and then they, like, when there's a reaction against it, the left will look at it and be
like, oh, look, see Nazis.
There's all these Nazis like running around.
But it's like, yeah, well, you want to keep lecturing white people.
Eventually, what do you think these fucking young white kids are going to do?
What do you think this white 20 year old is going to do?
And like, you know, there's a weird thing where it's almost like the logical conclusion of the left is some hardcore right wing shit.
Like the logical if you're.
Oh, yeah.
If we had if we had a the civil rights movement in the mid 60s and you're telling me by 2019 after, you know, ending Jim Crow integration, affirmative action, all the PC police stuff.
You're telling me it's still such a racist country. Well, what's the logical conclusion
that you're like, well, maybe this multicultural thing can't work then. Like maybe, maybe you can't
have a multiracial society. It's almost like you, and I'm not saying I agree with that, but it's
almost the logical conclusion of the left to go. So then maybe segregation is the answer.
Well, they are saying that by having separate graduations at Harvard and separate dorm rooms
on college campuses.
And fucking Rachel Maddow goes to Rockefeller University, wherever the fuck that is, sees
a wall.
They had pictures of a bunch of white guys who graduated from Nobel Prize winners, famous
scientists, and she bitches and says, what's with all the white dudes?
And they take
them down and i said okay well that's fine if you're gonna do that don't don't complain when
i go into the waffle house down here and start pulling pulling off the employee of the month
pictures i'm heading to fucking motown museum with a sledgehammer you guys have a problem with that
what's it all the white she's pissed because she's a white dude she wasn't on the wall that's my theory there but uh um yeah the double standard they're
shameless and anyways i think you and i have got the point across anything you want to plug there
before i let you go oh i got a an hour special uh libertas it's up at gas digital network.com
part of the problem legion of skanks those Those are my podcasts. There you go. He's really smart and really funny.
I was blown away the first time I had you on the radio show.
People kept telling me, you've got to have Dave Smith.
And I'm like, it's too sharp and too funny.
I don't want to look stupid here.
But I gave in.
But thanks a lot, Dave.
And hopefully we'll have you back real quick.
All right, man.
Good to talk to you, Nick.
Be a good brother.
All right.
All right.
That is it.
Remember, you guys, you think it.
I will say it.
You're very welcome. We care. Be a good brother. All right. All right. That is it. Remember, you guys, you think it. I will say it. You're very welcome.
We will see you on Patreon tomorrow.
Take care of yourselves.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye. Bye.