The Nick DiPaolo Show - Replay: Colin Quinn 2019 | Nick Di Paolo Show #656d

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

A replay of the 2019 interview with Colin Quinn.

In 2022, nearly everything you see and hear is filtered. Social media companies are deleting ideas they disagree with. The mainstream media is reporting only what fits their agenda. And our so-called leaders are using them both to fight personal battles, oftentimes leveraging your livelihood and safety in the process. Just like you, I've had enough, and that's why I created this show. Here you get unfiltered and unapologetic content. I don't care if I hurt your feelings or if I take a position that isn't popular.

I call them like I see them. I'd like to ask you to do two things to keep this show going. First, please share it with two people today. Let's show them what brutal honesty looks and sounds like. And second, please go to nickdip.com and make a contribution so we can keep this show going. Or even better, subscribe at the Comics Gym or on Patreon today and get an extra encore show each day, discounts on merchandise, and more for being a monthly subscriber. Thank you guys so much for watching, sharing, and contributing to the best show around.

You guys make it happen. Thanks so much. Oh, yeah. How are you, folks? Happy Memorial Day on a Monday. That's right, we're working. That's what we do here at the Nick DiPaolo Show. We work and we work and we work. How are you?

Good to be with you. Interesting weekend. All my stuff showed up from New York. I've been down here a month living on a mattress like Henry Hill and fucking Karen. And the movie showed up 9 o'clock on Sunday morning.

Two Russians and three black guys. They were phenomenal. I've never seen guys work like this in my life. Holy. I feel like a dick. I'm walking around doing nothing. But it's like then I was reminded I paid like eight grand for this, you know. Guys looking at me like I'm going to pick up a box.

I'm like, fuck you. I paid eight grand. You pick it up. And just a fucking, I got boxes piled to the ceiling, and they broke a marble table right in half. They put it back. You can't even see the crack, but the wife has to be bitchy about it, you know. So I started talking Russian with the Russian. He's supposed to be working. We're talking about Ovechkin for like 10 minutes, how good Ovechkin is. And he loves Trump, by the way. A Russian kid. Six years ago, he didn't speak

a lick of English, moves here. He lives in Texas now. He lived in New York City. Now he's in Dallas. He was a jovial, funny, just a fucking great guy. I had weights. I had dumbbells. I look in the truck. The black guy's doing my dumbbell. In between moving pianos

and shit. Fucking armoires. And then cable. I've been down here for a month month my cable goes in and out every eight minutes comcast get your shit together jesus h christ i'll watch like uh i record a couple red socks here i'll watch it'll stay up for about 10 minutes and then it drops and then when it resumes an hour later it goes back to what i was watching i've been watching the same play fucking deborah's charging a ground ball i saw that eight times um a month now they can't figure it out you have to be dog styling me

it's fucking i'm living on the nicest street in the fucking town you can't the guy actually says The guy that installed that we've gone past him, three guys over him. We had a brainiac right from Calcutta sitting there with pulsing veins. He's like, I don't know, maybe a squirrel bit the line. Really? A fucking squirrel?

Jesus Christ. We still don't. And it's hard when you just moved in. There's nothing to fucking do. I can't read. I'm too depressed to read and write. I'm laying on a shitty mattress. I got a kid guy doing my floors singing in Spanish.

What a lot. I feel like I've been down here for a year now. Fucking. But all my shit's in the house finally. And mother of God, it's going to be a year. Thank God I have a wife that knows what she's doing. But what an aggravating... Come on, fucking Comcast.

Get your shit together. Honestly. Happy Memorial Day. And that means a lot to all those men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice for this country. And especially for comedians. Guys like me. They fought. They allowed me to, you know, shoot my mouth off. That's what this country's about. It used to be until big tech

showed up. But we can't thank you guys enough who paid the ultimate price. And don't confuse it with Veterans Day, which I used to do, like an idiot. But, you know, you make the ultimate sacrifice, and nobody appreciates more than stand-up comics who, you know, I shouldn't say that. Now it's so PC, and half of them are for censorship. The fucking idiots who just don't get it.

We're coming at you live, by the way, right, Billy Boy? You're gonna lose your shit. We'll do it live. We'll do it live. We'll do it live! Fuck it! Do it live! I'll write it and we'll do it live!

Sounds like every meeting I have with Jason. This thing sucks! That's me yelling at his computer. Fucking thing sucks! Yeah, so, uh, yeah, thank you people, um, and their families families have made the ultimate sacrifice. Matter of fact, there's a great story.

This World War II veteran, he's 97 years old, and he still works at a New Jersey grocery store, okay? World War II vet, imagine? Bart Benny Facetto served as a gunner on fighter planes, but now he helps customers at the checkout counter at the Stop and Shop in Edison, New Jersey. Can you imagine he was in his 20s or 18, parrish, you know, shooting from a plane, getting shot at? What were you guys doing when you were 18, 20 years old? Nothing. Me either.

What was I doing? I was working at a mental institution in Danvers, Mass. I'm telling you, as a groundskeeper. I had no shirt on. I was in the best shape of my life at a mental institution. I had about five crazy broads that wanted to blow me, but they had teeth like great whites. Drove around in a tractor for six hours. Reported to work at 10 o'clock.

We started wrapping up around 3.30, and it was state work. I was getting paid, I don't know, fucking $30 an hour. This was in 1983. That's what I was doing, and then chasing pussy at night. This guy was on a fucking plane having Germans shoot at him. That is the greatest generation ever. And it started to get weaker right after that. Now we're beyond fucking the worst generation.

Whatever, Alyssa Milano, she's probably a little younger than me. Fucking Dunderhead, I'll get to you in a few minutes, sweet tits. Nick, that's sexist. Anyways, yeah, this guy, Benny Fasetto, 97, still working. Here's a couple clips of him. Why don't you take breaks? Oh, I don't want to take a break. I never take a break. I never do. Why? I just, it's useless. I got to go sit down, take a break, then come back and work. That's me right here. Oh, wow, that's you? Look at Benny.

Oh, boy. You look like a famous movie star. Can you tell me anything about World War II? Dangerous. Very dangerous. Did you think you'd make it home? No. The day I didn't fly out, they shot my plane down.

Pause. Never saw it. The day he didn't fly out, the one day he didn't take his plane out, they shot it down. Can you imagine still getting out? I didn't want to come here this morning. I'm fucking 57. Wanted to lay in my mattress on the floor and suck in fucking polyurethane. It's like I'm huffing my house. Can you imagine this guy?

And people love him. Go ahead. Never saw it again. You're one too big. So was my dad. Yeah? Let me tell you something. I was a rough carrier.

Oh, yeah? Always got into trouble, didn't you? When I was young. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. I think I am. Korea, Vietnam. I should make it home okay.

You made it home too. Yeah, we both made it. I'm happy I come back. Yeah. But there's a lot of boys who never came back. And that's what Memorial Day is for. That's what it's for. For the boys that never come back.

People. The men. The men that never came back. Now it's for drinking and burning yourself on the grill and getting fucked up. Memorial Day. And how do we pay tribute to these guys? 50% off a mattress at fucking Target. Yeah, that's how we pay tribute to these guys? 50% off a mattress at fucking Target. Yeah, that's how we pay tribute to these guys. They really were the great, they only stopped the world

from tyranny, ladies and gentlemen, which now it's coming from inside our country. That's all they did. And they came home and they started families, the ones that survived, they didn't die, started families and businesses and never talked about it. Today, some guy pulls a hamstring for the Yankees. He's on the news for 22 fucking minutes. I'm Tated Day. I don't know what the Yankees are going to do. But

God bless that generation. Honest to God, man. Do we have any more of a friend? You got to keep working. Until I drop dead. I never get that guy at the grocery store. I always get the fucking 18-year-old, the chip on his shoulder. He recognizes my special and he hated it, so he puts the eggs on the bottom

and puts three cans of heavy cling peaches on top. Un-fucking-believable. Benny, God bless you, man. Till I drop dead. I don't have that in me. I'm 57. Another 20 years would be nice. I do not want to be in a diaper.

How about him? He's still got all his marbles. That's what's unbelievable. I think we would have all been better off, us guys, if we... That's why I sort of think they should bring the draft back. A little discipline little tough love if there's any nation that needs it it's this nation of pussies i mean that's what organized sports are good for but they want to kill that too what's

that we're gonna my organized sports that's what those are for but they want to kill those too yeah they do competition is what made this country great but uh you know what I do like? That woman's softball. I was watching the playoffs. Every other broad is built like frigging, you know, Larry Zonka, but every once in a while there's one of those fucking, because I'm flipping through, there's three games on, I stop on this pitcher, she had a Georgia peach for an ass. And you can tell the straight ones, they wear the ribbons in their hair just to let you know. But these girls, man, I mean, forearms like frigging Ali and just it pisses me off. They throw better than me. And what does that tell you, Nick? Well, I was a bitch. That's what I'm telling you. You know, it's very popular right now. Sex

dolls are very popular. I got to be honest with you. If I had the cash, it's like a car. You want a good one, you know. You can get it. You know. There's pedophiles out there who have no money, so they buy like a regular doll like you would for your kid, and they throw a wig on it and a fucking skirt, but it's still a baby.

It looks weird. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signs bill outlawing child sex dolls. You gotta grow up. You're not a kid anymore. Unfortunately. On Thursday, DeSantis signed into law legislation that bans the sale or possession of childlike sex dolls after it unanimously passed the Florida legislature, SB 160, sponsored by State Senator Lauren Book, Democrat, Plantation,

prohibits a person from knowingly, as opposed to not knowing you had one in your bag as you're going through TSA LaGuardia. And they're like, what's with a Chinese 14-year-old kid in your bag? Like, what's with the Chinese 14-year-old kid in your back? Prohibits a person from knowingly having in his or her possession custody or control of an obscene childlike sex doll. Sick people out there. Hey, little boy. Do you want some candy? No, I don't, Mr. Frank.

Can you untie these things and let me out of the house? These are anatomically correct lifelike silicon dolls that are eerily similar to real human children what a sick fucking world made for the sole purpose of sexual gratification book said in a statement from her office following the bill's approval just as viewing child pornography lowers the inhibitions of child predators. So do these childlike sex dolls that have no place in the state of Florida. Plenty of room in Vermont for them in California. A legislative analysis found that many childlike sex dolls are imported from China, Japan, and Hong Kong.

They're always up there. Do you remember? Do you remember this story? China was selling toys over here. Dolls. Barbie dolls, actually. But they had the date rape drug. Something HBG or whatever in the paint

on the dolls. They actually threw me out of a bar in New York. I was stirring my Mai Tai with a fucking Barbie's feet. The hell out of here. While supporters of Bill say owning the doll should be treated like possession of child pornography, others claim the dolls could prevent pedophiles

from acting on their impulses with real children. How do you feel about that, fellas? That's a crock of shit. Now explain why it's a crock of shit, my religious friend, Deke. No, I'm serious. Take your time, dude.

Beautiful. You might crack at the question in there, Henry! It's because God made man to lay with women, not children. Says who? The Bible? Oh, now you're religious? Fucking heathen from Westchester?

No, I know, but I agree with you. I mean, they use it for practice. Nothing's going to beat the real thing. That's why most people don't buy sex dolls. So they're going to practice on it. So, I don't know. I disagree with that wholeheartedly. And it's going to remind them that they're a pedophile every morning when they wake up and see a fucking doll in a miniskirt that's six years old. Oh yeah, that's right. I'm a sick fuck. Time to get down to the schoolyard for recess. Violation of the law is a third

degree felony. Subsequent violations are being deemed second-degree felonies. The law goes into effect October 1st, so you sick pedophile fucks, you better get out there. The Memorial Day sale. Where do they sell toys now? It's not Toys R Us, that's closed. Seriously. Amazon. Amazon amazon of course you need a discrete package a discrete box when it comes to your house and where do you where do you keep one of these when your family comes over that's my question what do you mean they're sitting at the table just like any other kid

on thanksgiving hey who's this six-year-old blonde girl never mind pass the stuffing, Uncle Ted. Where do you keep it? Discreet packaging. It's like buying Viagra. I think it's a good law. I might be old-fashioned. Yeah, you're an old white curmudgeon. Anyways. Yeah, I'm not into fucking kids, whether plastic or real.

Call me a weirdo. Anyways, one more quick story before I get to, and I should have teased this at the top of the show colin quinn i did an interview with him last week he's got a special tonight airing on cnn called red state bluestad i watched him develop it this guy is as good as you'll get in comedy and anybody who doesn't like colin i've been saying this for years because he goes over a lot of people's heads he never gives in to the dummies. Anybody who says, I don't like him,

that's a litmus test for me. I'm like, I hope you don't like me because he doesn't get any better. His thing's airing tonight on CNN at 9 p.m. Red State versus Blue State. We'll get to that in a minute. Had a nice chat with Colin, my closest buddy in the business. But before

I get to that, here's more political correctness run amok. WJZ anchorwoman Mary Bubbler, who came under fire Thursday for a question she asked about the race, gender, and leadership of Baltimore's past three mayors, is no longer with this station. This is why I laugh when people go, oh, you're just an old white guy entitled, and they don't understand what dangerous comedy is. Because when you come from this point of view, you know, you could lose your job if you're a white person, you know, if you say anything. We're going to show the clip in a second of what she said.

It was like a legitimate question, but no, she had to fall on her sword. Mary Bubble is no longer with a WJZ-TV employee. The station apologizes to its viewers for her sword. Mary Bubba is no longer a WJZ TV employee. The station apologizes to its viewers for her remarks. The statement said Swain declined to comment further. This guy worked for Audra Swain, the manager of this TV station. Here is what Ms. Bubba, here is the controversial

thing she said. Oh boy, I know you've been talking about this on your radio show today. The question I have for you, we have had three female African-American mayors in a row. Don't go there. They were all passionate public servants. They suck.

To resign, though. Is it a signal that a different kind of leadership is needed to move Baltimore City forward? No, because I think. She doesn't even think about the answer, the black woman. She's a college professor. No, just a knee-jerk reaction. You know, obviously people watching that who are politically correct. Are you implying we have to have a white guy?

No, I'm implying that the last three were black women, and they failed miserably. And is it time for some new leadership? And everybody at home is going, who's peace? She means a white guy. You know? Do we have her answer? That's it? That's all I asked for? How dare I? I can read it. Anyways, in a statement sent to the Sun today in the wake of WJZ's action, Whitehead wrote, this is the woman she was talking to, the current conversations around leadership in Baltimore are challenging, emotional,

and at times include layers of racism and sexism. There is an assumption that since three black women have served as mayor and the city has not entirely changed for the better, that's putting it mildly. It's been going backwards, in reverse. It's not so much about black women. It's about fucking liberal leadership.

All the major cities that are run by Seattle, LA, they're all in the shitter. They're all in the shitter. They're in the red. Homeless people are everywhere. We're not supposed to connect the dots. But her knee-jerk reaction, no, I don't think so. She says,

and then perhaps black women are not fit to lead this city no she says get this get this no one can ask racially biased questions in the public sphere including in the media without being held accountable she's saying that this woman didn't even have a right to ask that do you guys get that this is where we are when it comes to relate race relations if you're what you can't even ask that. And the truth of the matter is, those three women have failed miserably. It's more about their politics, to me, than their race or their gender. But they failed.

And the college woman, the college professor, oh, results don't matter. Nikki Mayo, who worked in TV news and is an immediate past president of the Baltimore Association of Black Journalists, once again, in this colorblind society, we have a black journalist organization, posted video on the interview on Twitter last week, and then all the people came out with it. What's the matter, Jace? All the people came out with their pitchforks, and the social media blowback to Bubba's question was immediate because everybody on social media is holier than thou. There's not a racist on Twitter.

There's not a racist on Facebook. They're all better people than you, and don't forget it. Bubba apologized on Twitter on Thursday and Friday, which was a big mistake, in my opinion. Bubba emailed the following statement to The Sun Tuesday, confirming her departure. In my 22 years of working in TV news in Baltimore, 15 of those years with WJZ, I've always treated people with utmost respect and dignity. I loved my job because I love the people of Baltimore.

Last week I realized I made a mistake after I was told I made a mistake by all those fucking social justice worries. I added that in the language I used on air. I immediately apologize for any hurt I unintentionally caused. I receive, when you apologize, what you're doing is, what you're doing is condoning them coming after you. But this would never happen to a black person, especially in this day and age, when I hear black politicians at the national level, high-profile Democrats talking about all white men are the problem.

Kamala Harris, people running for president. Beto O'Rourke apologizing because he's a privileged white male. All this talk of all white men. This woman implies that we need, she didn't even come out and say, she didn't go, you think it's because the three black broads were just dumb

and didn't know what they were doing? It's not what she fucking said. But we can talk about, we can paint with a broad brush when you talk about older white men. And that's all they do in Washington today. But that's fine. She says, I received immediate support from WJZ because

they knew it was not in my heart to intentionally cause this kind of harm. I wanted to do an on-air apology, but it was not allowed. So why do you say they supported you? What kind of support is that? They wouldn't let you do an on-air apology. You're a white woman. Stay in your lane, bitch. You can't talk about us.

Anyways, I hope that the people of Baltimore know that i would never do anything to hurt anyone unfortunately i now stand in the path of the tornado wjz was forced to let me go i'm sad and shocked by this decision and then here comes uh here's the woman mayo that she was talking i followed the intersectionality of being a black and a woman yeah that makes up about three percent of the population in something like this i expect a woman to be more sensitive to generalizing a demographic even though i can say anything i want about old crusty white men being the problem fucking hypocrite i don't know any white women who would become comfortable with an anchor or anyone else asking a question like the one we heard saying well we've had three women back to

back do you think it's time for a different kind of leadership? We haven't heard that on a national level? Isn't it time for a black woman president? These old white guys have fucked everything up? We haven't heard that Trump's a racist and a bigot since he got in office? Who are you fucking kidding? I think every

white woman I know would have been like, what? What do you mean by that? Do you? Or you'd be wrong. You're the fucking problem. You fucking Dr. White onking jam rag, onking spunk bubble. I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground. I promise you. Not this time.

Mayo says she messed up. I get it. But you know that line, the mouth speaks the truth of the heart. She told you how she feels. Oh, and God forbid. No, you interpreted it that way. I'm just saying, folks. I'm just saying.

If she can get canned for saying that, the next black politician I hear, a woman like Stacey Abrams, who blames every part of the world on white men, should step the fuck down. Fair enough? What is this, a one-way street? Come on. My panties are in a

bunch. Hold on. Ladies and gentlemen, I spoke with Colin Quinn, who again, tonight, nine o'clock, CNN, his one-man show, Red State, Blue State. If you miss it tonight, it'll be on Netflix. This guy is just brilliant. I saw the play and I watched him develop it, and I sat down with him last week. We had an interview. He's a close friend of mine. He's getting hitched in a couple weekends. But here's the great Colin Quinn. Anyways, joining me right now, in the business, you know him.

His one-man show is just killer, whether it's New York Story, Unconstitutional, Long Story Short. His latest creation is Red State, Blue State, and that's going to Netflix, is it not, Quinn? You seem to have a lot of juice now. Even though you're an older white male, Netflix, that's how good he is. They still use his stuff. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah.

So, first of all, before we get into that, let's get into your personal life. Mr. Colin Quinn is going to be married coming up very soon. I have to go back to New York, to Brooklyn for the wedding, marrying a nice Polish woman who I worked with. Polish woman, I make her sound like a cleaning lady. I worked with Jen at HBO, the Chris Rock show. A smart, funny, beautiful woman. And are you getting cold feet yet?

Come on, let's be honest. You're probably shitting your pants. Well, I've always had cold feet about these kinds of things. You know how it is. Let's face it. That's true. I've been married 16 years and my feet are freezing right now. So what's the difference here? What made you pull the trigger? First of all, your arms look pretty good.

You've been lifting down there. You couldn't be more wrong. I don't have a gym. I take my shirt. You know who I look like when I take my shirt off right now? Remember Harvey Keitel in The Bad Lieutenant when he had his shirt off? He's kind of cut up here, but he's got a gut. Yeah, smooth and...

No, look, I fucking look... I was looking at myself today in the mirror, and I always hear your voice, because you said that. You're like, we're at that age where people look and go, I bet that guy was in good shape a few years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly... That's all you can hope for, sir.

Yeah. So, okay, the wedding. Come on, who am I going to run into that I'm going to hate? You're talking about the goddamn wedding? Yes. What is this, the fucking E! Channel? Come on. This am I going to run into that I'm going to hate? You're talking about the goddamn wedding? Yes. What is this, the fucking E! Channel? Come on. This is what he does.

He attacks people who interview him if it doesn't go his way. You dummy. Go ahead. By the way, your haircut's looking more and more like Phil Collins every day. Then that's not really a cut, is it? No. At this point, you're right. You can't control it.

But I want to hear, who's going to be at the wedding? Come on. Oh, Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. That's Jerry Red Wilson. Jerry. Oh, wait a minute.

I forgot he passed away. That's all right. But Jerry Seinfeld. I thought you were saying it. Jerry Seinfeld. No, I forgot, actually. Jerry Seinfeld. Everybody from Jerry Seinfeld. I thought that's what you were saying. No, I forgot, actually. Jerry Seinfeld. Everybody from Jerry Seinfeld to Tim Gage.

Oh. And everybody in between. Oh, my. When you throw Tim Gage at the low end, that's a huge spectrum. Because this guy does comedy by night and drives a forklift by day. Dylan Murphy. Dylan Murphy is one of Colin's cousins. Every time I go up to Saratoga

he likes to gamble I actually saw him throw an empty water bottle at a jockey's head after the jockey lost and he comes into the green room

when I'm at Saratoga playing Tommy's room hands me a little piece of tin foil I'm thinking it's like cocaine that's what they used to do I open it up

it's empty and he just laughs at me with his big glasses and then he walked out of the fucking room. He didn't say anything. Love him. Dylan, Jerry Seip.

I know my buddy Seth Meyers is going to be there. Hope he doesn't watch his show. I'll probably get hit with a piece of cake or something. So you're very talkative today, Colin. Thanks. Well, yeah, I'm not trying to wreck the wedding. You understand? What? The wedding. I can't be talking like this. I, I'm not trying to wreck the wedding. You understand? What?

The wedding. I can't be talking like this. I got a wedding to go to. What are you doing? I didn't say anything bad. I'm the one who has beef. What do you want me to say to that? I want you to say, Nick, stay away from Seth Meyers. Have a little... Grow some balls, will you?

I heard he takes karate. Really? Alright, let's karate. Oh, really? All right, let's get into, let's get in. What else? He's still going to the Comedy Cellar, Fat Black. What are you doing? Yeah, I'm going to the Comedy Cellar mostly. You've already started a new hour.

Well, I mean, you know how it is. You always have old stuff that you don't use, and then you bring it back, and it's all better than anything you've done, and somehow that gets left behind you know i mean you do comedy and then you're like i'll do the old stuff and then he not only does the old stuff do better for the crowd right the comedians come up and go that's a great bit you're like oh thanks the one i wrote 11 years ago right they don't realize there's new stuff i'm so proud of that nobody mentions because it's mediocre but it isn't that's the thing about

carl i watched him work out these plays, these one-man shows. He'd go on before me, the fat black pussy cat. He's up there. You talk about a craftsman. He's got his index card. And even in its raw form,

I remember watching you, this latest one, Red State, Blue State. You're working on it. I'm watching you for at least seven months, and then you go to me. I think I want to know where this is going to go. And I'm like, what are you talking about? I thought it would be, that's how much effort you put into it.

I mean, after seven months, you're just figuring out where you want to go with it. Yeah, well, it's because, especially with the country, the way the country goes now. Like, when I did Unconstitutional, people would come up to me afterwards and go, oh. And even the end of the show, I was like like yeah we we can make this work as a country and now I really know that you need to break up a country you look at anything in this country this is not no one's getting together on abortion guns religion you go down the list no one's getting together so it either ends up in a civil war where everybody whoever wins that wins the hearts and minds of people, or you break up. So your next special will be called Balkanization, is what you're saying?

Yes, that's basically what I think. Or is Tony Soprano, Balkanization. Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. I use this metaphor, this analogy, Colin liked it, about how there's no middle ground anymore. And I said, it's like Bobby Orr's knee after his 11th surgery. There's no more cartilage. It's bone on bone.

There's actually smoke coming out of his socks. You're absolutely right. What do you see? Seriously, I bring up Civil War and people giggle. But what would a civil war look like i mean first of all i like to know these people are giggle when you bring up civil war they're like oh um like that's our idea of light-hearted ribbing um a civil war what would it look like it would look like uh you know the only people that would be in trouble would be red state, blue states, you know, barricading down.

They both have advantages. The only problem is Austin, Texas would be in trouble. Charleston, South Carolina would be in trouble. And Staten Island would be in trouble because those are places that are outside their element. But are you saying there will be actual skirmishes within, like you say, Austin, Texas, because it's very liberal, but it's in Texas. Right, as everyone tries to mass exit us out of there three days beforehand. And they will be surrounded by Chuck Norris and his wife.

Yeah, by half the Army. Remember when we went overseas all the time? Yes. Soldier, where are you from? Texas. I know. 90% of our troops from texas i know that's why i love that state yeah they uh they don't play and uh staten island now how does that break stat it's always been like that it's always been uh red's a red's red barrow in a blue city you You know what I mean? Because all the Italians from Brooklyn

moved to Staten Island. You know what I mean? Now, why did they leave Brooklyn? Can you explain that to my fans? But they even left in the 80s and 90s. And, I mean, Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, is mostly Chinese now. Most of Bensonhurst and Bath Beach,

which is the last big Italian neighborhood in Brooklyn. I mean, it went for miles. When I was a kid, I was there all the time. And now they all moved to St. Arnold. I told you they used to call it Verrazano Bridge, the Guinea gangplank. Because the Italians all went over. I can't believe Bensonhurst, which was the home of, you know, the boys, you know, the bad Italian, is Chinese.

How does that, you're an expert on this stuff. How did, like, how do Somalis end up in Minneapolis? Is that, huh? How does that happen? The Somali thing, I'm not sure. I mean, I guess it happened after you know i mean i guess they brought over like certain states would have these religious organizations that would say we'll bring over this amount of sudanese like and then the somalis i feel like the soma i mean the suit

the real interesting one is like ethiopia and sudan and then somalis are sort of close to that you know what i mean they're all from that same area of Africa. But I'm not sure how they ended up in Minneapolis. And I'm ashamed that I don't know that because I should know that. Well, my guess, and I guess I'm way off, was the climate was very similar to where they came from. I mean, they go from 112 degrees to minus 16 in October in Minneapolis. But it only takes one to plant, like you said, to start a mosque or put an altar up. And the next thing you know, in the U.S. government, you see what's going on right now.

People pouring. They're literally putting people on buses and sending them willy-nilly. I mean, if they have relatives, they might have a relative in Buffalo. But it's been like that for years i mean it's the immigration system in this country has always been it's just people look seeing it now but it's always been insane like it's just kind of a random it's kind of a random unregulatable system and it's just it's been like this forever you you know may have been interested in immigration for years and um it's just, but like Somalis, no.

That's asylum. Asylum is if your government is going to kill you for being, I forget why these Somalis came over, but same with the Sudan, all the Sudanese and Ethiopians, like the lost boys of the Sudan. So certain religious

groups bring them over. In Minnesota, I think it was the Bud Grant Foundation. I heard they came over here because of the soccer riots in the Sudan. No, you're exactly right. It's so weird. One of your favorite movies, and one of my favorite, Napoleon Dynamite. I reminded it because i know you don't they forced in the ethnic thing at the end and you got the mexicans and their

lowriders and stuff and that that was set like in idaho or iowa right yeah but but then i said wait a minute that makes sense they probably didn't know when they were making them but it makes sense now because all you even told me all the meat packing plants are right filled with the hard work that's the whole thing that you know nobody nobody wants to enforce immigration No, because you even told me all the meatpacking plants, right, filled with hardworking. That's the whole thing that, you know, nobody wants to enforce immigration, the left and the right. Nobody wants to. Maybe the average citizen does, but all the guys who are in the meat plants, all the Democrats want to do it for votes. For money, commerce.

They cheat for labor. That's right. All the meatpacking plants in Iowa, all those places, they do radio advertisements in Mexico for 20 years. So for 20 years in Mexico, they're like, come up and get a job up north. I mean, that's just the way it's been. But nobody really wants to try everything because then everybody has to look at themselves and go, oh, this is all part of something, you know what I mean? Yeah. That nobody wants to see. So everybody blaming everything else.

It's all true. All the things that people point their fingers at are always true. Corporations and the left want the future black and brown vote. That's all true. But what's going on now, even in the last few weeks, is crazy. I mean, how can you not call that a crisis? I mean, it's up 400% from a year ago, people showing up. And until they change that magnet, that asylum magnet, they know the system.

These people are met at the border by immigration lawyers that tell them what to say, right? I have a kid, so as long as they step foot on, you've got a kid in their arm. So the Dems are in charge right so as long as they step foot on, you get a kid in their arm. So, the Dems are in charge right now as far as Congress and stuff, but you're saying the Republicans also don't mind what's going on. Yeah, they don't want nobody, I mean, it's been an open secret for 25 years. I know, but

here's the difference now, though. Artificial intelligence, automation, all the jobs being automated, everybody's going to be pushed out. And they're still coming. I mean, how's that good? We're fucked, aren't we? Let's be honest.

This country is fucked in a few years. Yeah, well, it's all, everything's connected with globalization. Not this country, the whole world. I mean, look at it. Everything's just insane. Everything's kind of morphing into something else. And like you said, it's all robotic. So I don't know what's going to happen to human beings.

We're going to have to, like, you know, rob the robots on payday or something. We're just going to all be criminals. When did robots get paid? Well, you know, the Democrats say there's people floating over the Rio Grande in the tubes. We can teach them code when they get here, you know. I'm sure, you know, Apple is going to be blind. It's going to look like a George Lopez concert, I'm sure. But that's the other point.

The other point is how many people are coming over from other countries getting a legal thing, but because they have these skills that you're telling me Americans couldn't learn those skills. Okay, we're not the brightest people. We're never going to be Asia or India. You know, but I'm saying those are a lot of jobs too but it's legal but it's still you know all the Silicon Valley stuff and you know special whatever they call H-1B visa you know but it's look I mean this is just the way it is and you're not going to stop people from coming from Central America because they're living in a nightmare I mean they're living in a nightmare. I mean, they're living in gangland. You know what I mean? They're living under drug lord, narcot,

democracy. I mean, it's bad down there. It's like anarchy. So, of course, they want to come. There's some legitimate ones, definitely. But are you saying, Trump, is this a wet dream, this merit-based system? Is that racist racist like the left system well you know people coming in he says we're going to do what canada does in australia where you give them a test it's based on education and what you can do for this country and he's catching all kinds of blowback that that's racist and you know but it's well but also most of the jobs like i said all those all those factories in the united states and all the canning places they don't want that either so i'm saying nobody

will really have a real this country doesn't have discussions like we should be having these giant discussions about this kind of stuff but there's never a discussion all it is is conflicts and whatever it is there's never like a concert a convention where people sit down and go okay here's what's actually happening because the you know i don't know why but it just doesn't happen and you know so these will never get resolved because everything's kind of done where it's like oh forget about that part now forget about that part you know but but they have. Like I said, because of automated jobs, you're saying canning and stuff,

that's already changing. So why do they still want these people pouring in? Oh, because slaughterhouses. I mean, stuff like that. You can't get it. That's going to be all automated. That's going to be automated. You still need a guy that can handle a butcher knife

and just slice somebody's head off without flinching. You know what I mean? Who better from El Salvador? Take a chicken. So I'm just saying, for the money they want to pay, too, there's all kinds of, you know, it's money. All this stuff, there's money involved in everything. I don't want to go to my butcher and he's got a teardrop tattoo. But I'm saying most of the people coming up, not to be liberal about it,

most of the people coming up are escaping from people with teardrop tattoos. That's why they're trying to flee because it's mostly – that's where Trump is wrong. When he goes, they're murderers, they're rapists. He's like, no, they're trying to run from murderers and rapists. So I'm not saying that we can afford to let people in. I'm just saying that that's what's coming up. It's not all the gangs. I mean, they're coming through. Well, half of El Salvador MS-13 is living in Long Island, so they weren't running for

anybody but themselves. I know. But I'm just saying, you know, in the grand scheme of things. Right. But there are rapists and murderers. But this is the kind of off-the-subject thing that just clouds things. Right. You know what I mean?

And both sides do it, obviously, but it's just cloudy. I want to get to their facts. You know what I mean? Yeah, I get nervous. I watch on the nose, and I'm like, oh, Trump is part of this because nothing's getting done, you know? And they're pouring in, and he's out at rallies talking about other shit. So I'm like, it is really a big scare. And Colt is pissed.

Well, it's kind of an interesting thing. I feel like when anything gets examined, so right now it's immigration. When anything gets examined, really examined in the country, any issue, you're like, oh, nobody knows what they're doing. And nobody's doing any, people are just like, whoa, wait a minute. I don't want to stick my neck out. So that goes for everything. And right now it's immigration. But when you really look at things, nobody has any solutions.

And that's why I say everyone should break up. Well, it's the ruling class. Tucker Carlson's book Ship of Fools explains it beautifully. It really is a ship of fools leading us. Some of the dumbest people on the friggin' planet. But, you know, and nobody's

staring the ship. It's kind of scary. There's not much leadership there. It's scary. That's why you need to break up. Because if you break up this country, then people start to see the flaws in their part of the system or the good parts about their system so you know i mean let everybody do it the hope in the united states is freedom right everybody's supposed to do live the way they want to live you can't do that people are ideologically opposed so from day one of this country. So what are we doing?

What are we going to do? We're just going to keep going like this until there's a war. That's what I say. That's how it's going to go. Will I be around for it? I just bought a beautiful gun. Yes. We're going to be brother against brother. You're going to be in New York blue, and I'm going to be down here in Georgia.

Or maybe there'll be some in between states. Let's shift gears real quick before I let you go. Big tech, I mean, I got this special breath of fresh air, and Facebook won't let me advertise this special on Facebook. So, I have a bigger beef with this, because this is

right out in the open. People are worried about Russia interfering in the next election. How about Google and fucking Facebook shutting down guys like me me and to you to some extent? I mean, how do we, are they ever going to get broken up or are they too rich and powerful? What do we do about these? I don't know. Who's the guy we were talking about the other day?

Who's going to be the new tech guy? There's no right-wing tech guy. I want a right-wing, you know who, Zuckerberg. But where is that guy? Right. I'll tell you where he is. He's in the Oval Office right now. Tweeting.

But, I mean, this is serious. It's crazy that they're censoring you. That's ridiculous. You know what I mean? It is and it isn't. Is shadow censoring? Not just shadow. There's been actual politicians called Republican politicians in races whose appetizers don't get shown in some markets.

And they don't even know. Like they put an ad out on Twitter. So I don't want to hear about the fucking Russians. I want to hear about the left-wing Silicon Valley scumbags who are going to interfere in the next election. Look what they tried to do to Trump in this last election. Are you shitting me? I don't know how, even with the economy being great, with he's got

the mainstream media against him, he's got the tech against, social media against him. It's unbelievable. But he doesn't help matters. Oh, I know. You don't like the way he tweets and he's fucking loud and obnoxious. We've got to get over that. No. There's ways

to make your point. You know what I mean? Yes! There's ways to make your point you know what i mean yes yes there's ways to make and you know what he's the this is where you make me mad we finally get a guy everybody agreed left and right that this country's been broken politically for 40 years right we finally get a guy comes in and flips over the fucking apple cart and he steps on people's toes and he and and i know he says shit says shit on Twitter I know right where you're going about having a black or a Mexican female as the vice president we could have wrapped up the Mexican vote

that you're dead right on with but you don't like the fact that he's exposed the fucking media for the scum that they are no I mean I like little parts of it but I don't like the fact that he's he's an indefensible human being. You know what I'm saying?

That's what I'm like. He's flawed. He, that's the point. He's a human being. No, I know, but what,

what kind of, can't, you can't do everything you want to do without being a dick. You know what I mean? Colin's been, Colin's been giving me that same advice about my career. I'm not shitting you, just another language. But he's, you know, other level.

All right. Well, yeah, I just, as far as I go, he exposed the media. And if it all ended tomorrow, he's done more. You know, George W. Bush used to turn the cheek, and that's what got us Obama. I find him refreshing. When you're a white guy, an outspoken white guy, defending white guys, you're an asshole.

No, I understand, but he's mean. I know. I get it that you're saying it, but you know. Well, anyways, hey, Quinny, you're the best, man, and my fans obviously love you. Well, anyways, hey Quinny, you're the best, man, and my fans obviously love you. And so

Red State Blue State is going to be on Memorial Day on CNN, right? Yeah. Yeah. On CNN, and I said this when I heard that, you know who looks good doing that? CNN. Because it makes it look like that. Because he, Colin, and I'm not just saying this because I've known him for, he's the most

as politically down the middle as anybody I've ever met. You can hear he looks at both sides. And this makes CNN look like that because he, Colin, and I'm not just saying this because I've known him for, he's the most, as politically down the middle as anybody I've ever met. You can hear he looks at both sides. And this makes CNN look reasonable. It kind of pisses me off. But, because they're out of their tits. But that's going to be huge, man. And it's going to go to Netflix, right? Yeah.

It's going to be Memorial Day, 9 o'clock, so it'll be huge. 9 p.m.? Yeah. Everybody, everybody. I was going to be in a vodka lounger. I was going to be having a barbecue.

Stomach's hot to hear. Your face is going to get hit by so many full Heinekens when it's on a flat screen. Just a bunch of drunken assholes. But that's unbelievable that a network, news network, is just... Tell Don Lemon I'm going to punch him in his big stupid face

if you see him Don Lemon I've seen him already I've been there twice yeah tell him Nick DiPaolo says go fuck yourself and he'll go

who's Nick DiPaolo then show a picture of me and I'm 20 and he'll call me anyways Quinny I don't know what else anything else to plug or

I will see you I'm coming up in a week or two. I'm doing a podcast at the Cellar, Fat Black, and then a gig, and then your wedding. So I can't wait. Perfect. Can't wait. Beautiful.

I'll see you then, buddy. Thank you so much. Great calling, Quinn. We'll see you later. Don't forget Breath of Fresh Air. You can catch it on, go to nickdip.com, watch it on YouTube. It's still climbing. And the positive, the negative comments are like 21 to 1 ratio.

So don't forget that. Don't forget cameo.com. If you want me to send a personal video to you guys, roasting one of your friends, beating up your old girlfriend or boyfriend or a relative you don't like or a bossy neighbor. And so thank you for supporting the show. Have a great weekend, everybody. Great Memorial Day weekend. Don't forget about what it's really about. And remember, you guys think it, I'll say it.

You're very welcome. I will see you guys on Patreon.com tomorrow. Have a good weekend. Take care. We'll be right back. guitar solo I'm out.