The Nick DiPaolo Show - Replay: Nick's 100th Episode | Nick Di Paolo Show #1215b
Episode Date: May 31, 2022Replay of Nick's 100th Episode...
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Der frische Geschmack von Kiri mit guter Milch. Oh, how are you folks?
Welcome to the show.
Yeah, these are a little loud.
Tess, one, two. Tess, no, too low. Jesus, you guys have Welcome to the show. Yeah, these are a little loud. Test, one, two. Test, no, too low.
Jesus, you guys have a fucking heavy hand. Up a little bit. Up some more. Right there. All right. Fuck it.
How are you folks? Welcome to the big show. 833-599-NICK. 833-599-6425.
On a filthy Wednesday. Tomorrow is the 100th episode.
Is that right?
It's not today.
Is it?
Well, Priscilla told me it was tomorrow.
Is today?
What's the date today?
Today's the 9th. Ah, my sister's ass.
Today is the 100th episode of the Nick DiPaolo
podcast on patreon we started July 9th that is correct so yay to me and yay to
you she had something planned Priscilla no all right she get too much on her
hands a big shout out to Kevin McArdle.
Big fat donation.
I don't even know if he's a subscriber or whatnot, but big fat donation.
Kevin, you always had heavy cash.
Pretty sure you're working for El Chapo's brother, Kevin Chapo.
Thank you so much. It's Wednesday means It means we're streaming live on Facebook.
We'll do it live.
YouTube and fucking...
We'll do it live!
Fuck it!
All the other things.
Do it live!
I want all of you to enjoy your cake.
I will.
It's the 100th anniversary.
I will enjoy.
Okay.
You've got to get mad.
God damn it!
You've got to say, I'm a human being.
God damn it!
My life has value
i'm as mad as hell and i'm not gonna take this anymore
oh this is fucking gay i said clear shit like this with me before you do it.
What the fuck is this?
Great, nobody can see it.
It's a cake.
I have a small Japanese woman because I'm doing a boxing diet.
She makes shit like this.
This is filled with celery, by the way.
It's a celery cake.
Ain't it beautiful?
That's right, 100 episodes.
Thank you, supporters out there.
We couldn't do it without you.
You know what the problem is?
I'm always celebrating shit like this.
Connect Pal, I did about 400.
And then we jumped somewhere else.
I can't take it anymore.
I'm 50 fucking, I'll be 57 in a few days.
Can we goddamn stick to something?
Honest to fucking God, I get gray pubes got a muff like barbara bush down
there i mean well she's gone well it's not important look at that beautiful cake it's
all celery want to take that yeah what speak has my logo has my logo those japanese are
fucking great look at that i'm sure that's that lo that logo
that's made out of carrots carrots and beets imagine these japs i'll tell you give it back
to priscilla it's a special show it's so special i have to read this off paper uh it's the six month
anniversary of the nick de palo show in 100th episode i want to thank you guys for watching
listening calling in giving me hand jobs super chatting uh helping us build the show i want to
thank all the patrons who contribute every month a patron you keep the community a word i fucking
hate you keep the community pages going only black people should use the word community uh
community page just going with posts and contribute stories.
Ron, that's Ron Ebell, and Richard Cliff, and Nick Dip, fan.
Thank you guys so much.
Seriously, I'd kiss you if I didn't have AIDS.
Thank you to Jay who set this place up.
The twinks who are slowly becoming men and functioning employees.
Bunny who monitors the chats, trims the videos helps with the spreadsheets i
didn't know we had spreadsheets researching new ideas base texan who makes the ads for the show
and my gorgeous uh my gorgeous um cousin
my gorgeous wife priscilla she's as talented as her tits she woke up with a zit in her forehead
and i looked at it i like to make her self-conscious so i i stared at it and she
goes it's not that noticeable is it and i said it's not that noticeable but uh which of your eight arms are you going to use to jerk me off?
She oversees the whole team.
To celebrate, we've created a special code at nickdip.com for you guys to buy a Nick DiPaolo Show hat or shirt at 25% off
from now until Sunday night.
Jesus.
That's like when you check into a hotel, they go,
we have a continental breakfast
From 5am to 502am
Would you like to join us?
No I don't need a fucking 12 year old corn muffin
You dink
The promo code is
NickDip100
So hit up the NickDip store and enter NickDip100
At the checkout and you will save that
Kind of cash and you can spend that on
Your whores
Alright we get it Get back in your cage you fucking big girl and you will save that kind of cash and you can spend that on your whores.
All right, we get it.
Get back in your cage, you fucking big girl.
Only a fucking gay guy would like confetti that much.
Where's your salsa bottle, you big dink?
Though, April, Kevin, we already thank you, McArdle.
I'll be at the Fat Black Pussycat in exactly two and a half hours from now
in New York City if If you're in the
area, I have to rush into the city. I work hard for you people. I appreciate your support, but
Jesus H. Friday, January 11th, Lucy's in Pleasantville. That's this Friday night. And this
Saturday night, Fairfield Theater, Fairfield Company, Fairfield, Connecticut. Saturday,
January 19th, Bobby B's, Windsor Locks, Connecticut. Friday, January 25th, Comedy Palace.
It says C-A-W.
Is that a joke?
You guys are fucking hilarious.
San Diego, California.
Joe Rogan show on the morning of the 25th.
Tune in for that.
Powerhouse show.
And that Sunday, January 27th, Ventura harvard comedy club ventura california friday
and saturday september february 8th and 9th the black box in bogarton florida friday march 8th
wood theater glens falls new york saturday march 9th coho's hall in coho's new york i'm gonna be
shooting an hour and i might just put that out there i don don't even... Friday, April 26th, Steel Stacks, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
Friday, May 34th, The Jonathans in Agunquit, Maine.
Saturday, June 1, Whites of Westport, Westport, Mass.
Saturday, August 10th, Newtown Theater, Newtown, Pennsylvania.
Saturday, October 19th, Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, Connecticut. Go to nickdip.com for all that yahwee.
What's going on uh well Trump gave the big uh hey I want a wall you fuck faces uh and uh
gave a good concise quick speech I wish when he gave a speech he didn't talk to us like we were severely retarded seven-year-olds. He reads three words a fucking minute and a half. You can pick up the pace, Trump. You know I love you, but Jesus H.
Christ. This is from USA Today, which is not exactly a right-leaning publication.
President Trump efforts to halt migrant caravans and limit asylum have not deterred Central American minors.
Great, great future for this country and members of their families from rushing towards the U.S.
According to data released by U.S. Customs and Border Protection on Wednesday, Border Patrol agents apprehended.
Get this, get this. Twenty seven thousand five hundred eighteen members of family units in December.
6,518 members of family units in December, the highest monthly total on record.
But it's a manufacture crisis, right?
Pelosi and Schumer, you fucking guzzlers of dirty cum.
That figure has steadily been climbing now for five months, even as Trump made stopping migrant caravans the centerpiece of his midterm election. term election uh his his dumb and dumber fucking Pelosi and Schumer fucking shithead Schumer and
puto Pelosi wait a minute the fuck the beginning of it looks like an SNL sketch it was the most
awkward let me tell you about Democrats they stink in front of the camera. They're scared shitless of everything,
except fucking high taxes and open borders.
But Nancy Pelosi has the eyes of a woman
who stabbed her husband and cut his dick off
while he was napping.
Psychotic.
But here's Pelosi and Schumer rebutting
the president's speech for the wall.
And here it is.
Good evening. Shut it. the president's speech for the wall and uh here it is good evening i appreciate the opportunity to speak directly to the american people tonight
you're welcome we can end this shutdown and meet the needs of the american people
sadly much of what we heard from president trump throughout this sense of shutdown
has been full of misinformation. Pause.
Really?
What misinformation?
I'm going to bring up statistics in a few minutes, you lying liberal whore.
You and him have been in Congress for over 50 years and we're still in this mess.
So what have you done previously?
Go ahead.
The president has chosen fear.
We want to start with the facts.
The fact is, on the very first day of this Congress,
House Democrats passed Senate Republican legislation
to reopen government.
Oh, thank Christ, pause.
Thank Christ I can get into the Smithsonian and buy a...
What do you call those things you shake up?
A snow globe of George Washington taking a dump.
Look at Schumer. If you made a fucking villain, if you made a villain in a movie, would that not be the face?
Look at him. He's reading along with her. Go ahead, dummy from San Francisco.
Border security solutions. But the president is rejecting these bipartisan bills, which would reopen government. Fuck the government.
With forcing American taxpayers to waste billions of dollars on an expensive and ineffective wall.
A wall he always promised Mexico would pay for.
And they will. Let them do it.
The fact is, President Trump has chosen to hold hostage critical services for the health, safety and well-being of the American people.
Oh, is that right?
And withhold the paychecks of $800,000.
$800,000, who eventually will be paid, you lying dink.
This is all about a power grab.
You need the brown vote for the next 100 years, and you're not fooling anybody.
There were even liberals making fun of this rebuttal last night.
Look at Schumer.
He's about to stab a baby in the head with a pencil.
Go ahead.
Innocent workers across the nation, many of them veterans. He promised to keep government
shut down for months or years. Oh, no. It hurts. That's just plain wrong. The fact is,
we all agree we need to secure our borders. Pause. Pause. We all agree. You don't agree.
You dink.
By the way, let me just say this before I forget. They just had a meeting a couple hours ago.
Trump had a meeting with these same fools, and he said this.
Trump walked out of the meeting. He said it was a waste of time.
This is what his proposal was. They said, well, if you open the government, well, but we can talk.
He said, OK, I'll open the government. If you promise in 30 days
we can talk about not a wall,
not a barrier,
not steel slats. If we can talk about border
security. That's what it said on the
news today. And they said
no. So you're full of
fucking shit. Go ahead.
We can build the infrastructure and roads
at our ports of entry. We can install
new technology to scan cars and trucks for drugs coming into our nation.
I'll build a ramp up to your asshole and drive a Lionel up in there.
We can hire the personnel we need to facilitate trade and immigration at the border.
We can fund more innovation to detect unauthorized crossings.
Shut it.
The fact is...
Let the dummy speak.
...the men and children at the border are not a security threat.
They are a humanitarian challenge.
Pause. Tell that to Officer Singh. Oh, you can't. He's threat. They are a humanitarian challenge.
Pause.
Tell that to Officer Singh.
Oh, you can't.
He's dead.
Killed by an illegal.
Tell that to his wife and his little baby.
There's so much evidence.
I just want to stick my thumbs in there.
Fucking Adam's apples.
Both of them.
Go ahead.
A challenge that President Trump's own cruel and counterproductive policies have only deepened.
And the fact is, President Trump must stop holding the American people hostage,
must stop manufacturing a crisis, and must reopen the government.
Pause.
You know what's manufactured?
You making a big deal about the government being closed.
That's manufactured.
I get the guy who wrote The Art of the Deal,
the greatest dealmaker in business history against these two slobs. My money
is still on Trump. But this whole thing about
well, if he doesn't win here, if he
backs down on Blinks, he won't win in
2020. I don't buy that shit
either. You're not going to vote for Trump. He already
crushed fucking ISIS. He turned the
economy around on a dime.
It's the best it's ever been.
So you're not going to vote for him because of this?
I don't believe that.
That's what they believe, the dumb and dumber people.
Go ahead.
Thank you.
Fuck you. Peter Schumer.
Thank you, Speaker Pelosi.
Thank you, Dracula.
My fellow Americans, we address you tonight for one reason only.
You're here, Peter.
The President of the United States, having failed to get Mexico
to pay for his ineffective,
unnecessary border wall,
and unable to convince the
Congress or the American people
to foot the bill, has shut down
the government. Oh, no!
American democracy doesn't work that way.
We don't govern by temper tantrum.
No president
should pound the table and demand he gets his way or else the government shuts
down, hurting millions of Americans who are treated as leverage.
Tonight and throughout this debate and throughout his presidency, President Trump has appealed
to fear, not facts, division, not unity. No, you're projecting Dracula. Make no mistake.
Democrats and the president both want stronger border security.
However, we sharply disagree with the president about the most effective way to do it.
Look at Pelosi, sucking on a lemon.
So, how do we untangle this mess?
Well, there's an obvious solution.
Fucking shooting you in the stomach.
Separate the shutdown from arguments over border security.
Pause.
Wow, let's fall for that from Schumer from Brooklyn.
Let's separate the two.
You open the government and then we'll talk.
Who's holding who hostage?
You think he's that fucking stupid?
Go ahead.
There is bipartisan legislation supported by Democrats and Republicans
to reopen government while allowing debate over border security to continue.
There is no excuse for hurting millions of Americans over a policy difference.
Pause. Millions of Americans aren't being hurt.
800,000 employees of the government are having their checks delayed.
OK. Oh, some TSA people are walking out.
Good.
I feel safer already.
You mean the TSA, the last time, the last three times they tested them,
we were able to smuggle guns in 95% of the time.
That TSA's walk.
Good.
Go to Wendy's and McDonald's and you can replace them.
Go ahead, shit face.
Federal workers are about to miss a paycheck.
Some families can't get a mortgage to miss a paycheck. Oh, no!
Some families can't get a mortgage to buy a new home.
Good.
Farmers and small businesses won't get loans they desperately need.
Oh, you care about farmers now, do you?
Most presidents have used Oval Office addresses for noble purposes.
This president just used the backdrop of the Oval Office
to manufacture a crisis, stoke
fear and divert attention from the turmoil in his administration. Chuck, you fucking lying... You can't handle the truth!
Go ahead.
My fellow Americans, there is no challenge so great that our nation cannot rise to meet it.
We can reopen the government and continue to work through disagreements over policy.
Religion.
We can secure our border without an ineffective, expensive wall.
And we can welcome legal
immigrants and refugees without. So the border patrol people have been on TV for the last year
saying walls work everywhere, not just in this country. They work everywhere. Why do you have
one around your house, Nancy Pelosi, and you got her by guns which you're also against why should we believe any
you're a walking contradiction both of you don't believe the border patrol people who risk their
neck every day believe these career politicians who've been there for 50 years and we're still
in this mess go ahead compromising safety and security the The symbol of America should be the Statue of Liberty,
not a 30-foot wall. So our suggestion is a simple one. Mr. President, reopen the government,
and we can work to resolve our differences over border security. But end this shutdown now.
Thank you. You see how that's good. Get them off the screen
before I shit blood. No, that's fine. Do you see how their religion is government? It's all about
power and securing the brown vote for the next hundred years. Don't let them fool you and Trump don't worry about it we're gonna vote for you anyways in
2020 I just Nick you saying well the Dems lie about this all the time what
proof do you have well here's some proof here's a bunch of people that you
recognize on the far left one of them ran for president last year one who was
a president for eight years here's here's their two-fate proof that
they're talking to both sides of their mouth. Here they are a few years ago talking about
illegal immigration. That's why our administration has moved aggressively to secure our borders more
by hiring a record number of new border guards, by deporting twice as many criminal aliens as
ever before. Families who enter our country the right way and play by the rules watch others flout the rules. People who enter the United States without our permission
are illegal aliens and illegal aliens should not be treated the same as people who entered the U.S.
legally. Because we live in an age where terrorists are challenging our borders. Oh yeah that's right.
We cannot allow people to pour into the U.S. undetected, undocumented and unchecked.
We've got to do several things. And I am adamantly against illegal immigrants.
Certainly, we've got to do more at our borders.
Do I have a video of I have a video of Hillary in 2015. Here you go. I voted numerous times when I was a senator to spend money to build a barrier to try to prevent illegal immigrants from coming in.
Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it.
That was when she was running.
That was 2015.
She was preparing for the 2016 run.
That was an ancient history.
See what
lying motherfuckers they are?
Because it's all about power.
They don't give a shit about you.
Here's some statistics
that
prove that this
is not a manufactured crisis.
That it's actually a real crisis.
And again, here's the stats.
They are ignoring.
Now, in the past two years alone, criminal aliens,
they have been responsible for approximately, look at this number,
235,000 violations of the law, including 4,000 homicides, 30,000 sex crimes,
and get this, over 100,000 violent assaults.
In just 2018, 17,000 individuals with criminal records, they were apprehended at the border,
and the crisis goes much, much deeper.
In towns and cities all across this country, we know about the opioid crisis,
300 Americans are killed every single week from heroin. But it's manufactured.
90% of that heroin
is flooding across our southern
border. Who cares about the
American people?
And you can look those up. I know you're going,
oh, that's fucking entity. You're going to blame...
You can look them up.
That's where they can't, you know...
This was said by Angelica Salas, That's where they can't, you know.
This was said by Angelica Salas,
Executive Director of the Coalition for Humane Immigration Rights,
a Los Angeles-based immigrant rights organization. So take this with a grain of fucking cayenne, whatever, habanero.
This is what she said.
Manufacturing a crisis at the border shutting down the government
lying in prime time to the american public and executing the a power grab just to build a
medieval ineffective wall is too much that's what that's what she said and to her i say
you stupid fucking blabbermouth cut sorry for the strong language angelica but uh you're full of
shit you're full of shit.
You're lying to the American people.
You know what Trump should do?
Go fuck it.
I wish he'd do.
You know what?
He should go fuck it.
You know what?
They're right.
Open the government back up.
Forget about the wall. And just watch the West Coast be decimated.
Watch L.A., which is already a shithole.
Watch these sanctuary cities and the crime rates go through the fucking roof.
And just go, you know, I tried.
That's what I would do, but I'm an immature asshole.
But, you know, why are you smiling at that, Ryan, you pig face?
You said you're an immature asshole.
Yeah, and I said that tongue in cheek, like, you know, when you're blowing a guy. How can you argue with that?
Oh, you can pretend those statistics don't exist.
Let's go to Mac Daddy in New Jersey.
He's got a cynical take, he says, on the TSA agents walking out.
Jesus, more cynical than my Mac?
Welcome to the show, Mac Daddy.
How are you?
Hey, what's up, Nicky?
Happy 100th, man.
Thank you, brother.
That's listening to old, old podcast series up until now.
Appreciate it, man.
So just tell me if this take is too cynical that
you know you might see in the next couple of weeks some kind of terminal shutdown uh by some
kind of crazy person that runs past tsa come on some kind of stage thing right to show you know
to just show to show up that oh yeah we really need these guys you know yeah no you know what too cynical
that's right on the money that might happen in the next 48 you know what now that you just put
that out there we put that out there that probably will happen back there i don't put anything past
these scumbags because it's all about a power grab and and how many times have they proved that
you know they'll do anything to win that's the one thing I hand to the dirty Democrat.
They will say and do anything.
You know why they say and do anything?
They know it'll fly because, number one, they have the mainstream media in their pocket.
Number two, they have the most ignorant, uninformed voters in the fucking country.
Sorry, folks.
I've been trying not to say that for 10 years because I got a lot of dem friends, Democrat friend, dumbs.
That's what we'll call them.
And dumbs, yes, somebody quote that.
And Democrats.
And you're absolutely fucking right.
They will say and do anything.
And the Chuck Schumers of the world,
the Pelosi's, know how ignorant they are.
Look who they rely on.
They rely on college-age students to vote.
They rely on immigrants who have been here six minutes.
And that's what it's all about.
And Mac Daddy, you're right on the money, buddy. Thank you
for the call. Always good
to hear from Joycey.
Mark
from Cambridge, Mass. Ooh, talk
about Libtown. Wants to tell
me he had an epiphany when he heard Chuck
and Nancy speak yesterday. It's about
Trump. It's about the wall being there forever.
It's being a reminder of his success and their failure.
Oh, I like that already.
Mark, welcome to the show.
Thank you, brother.
I appreciate it 100%.
I think it's less about the policy and more about they know if he gets this wall,
every day of their lives he's gonna outlast
them isn't that crazy that is a i truly believe mark that is an epiphany that is that that'll be
that'll be more powerful a reminder than any statue anything that they that that that you
know college kids will be trying to tear down in 10 or 15 years
you you are so on the money can you imagine a uh a thousand mile wall that trump built holy that's a legacy and it's gonna be there forever you know yeah absolutely look at china
that thing was built when 12 a 12 AD? It's still...
I had the same conversation with my buddy.
I'm like, listen, the Great Wall of China,
they built it thousands of years ago.
It's still there. Why can't we do the same thing?
And then from that
conversation, and I watched Nancy
and Chuck,
and I'm like, that's what it is.
That's one of the things that's stopping them.
You know what?
That is a brilliant point.
And you know what he should do, Mark?
Everything he bills has his name on it.
Well, everything he bills has his name on it.
He should put Trump every 10 feet.
You know what's coming.
Yes, sir.
All right, Mark.
Call back, buddy.
I love it.
Thanks, man.
Jesus, that was Cambridge Mass weighing in.
Might as well have been, you know fucking pelosi herself calling that surprised me i thought i was gonna take it right in the face
there evan in dc uh adc just tweeted about a federal worker saying they can't survive without
a third paycheck evan go ahead would you hear? I just, she just tweeted it out.
And the thing is, I know federal workers who are on furlough,
and they are currently, they only had, they missed one paycheck last Friday.
So she's just lying.
Who tweeted that out?
Just get the AOC, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Oh, that out? Just get the AOC,
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
Oh, that's right.
She's AOC now.
She's fucking,
she should be,
yeah,
she should be DOA.
She's as dumb as a bag of fucking hammers.
You know,
I can't even get mad at her, Evan.
She's like kind of cute
and just fucking silly and dumb.
I know I'm going to run into her
at a store up here
and have to not get her in a chokehold,
but it's actually a great point.
Thanks, Evan.
Jason in Miami wants to talk about the wall
and opinions that are going around.
Go ahead, Jason.
Open form here, buddy.
Good to hear from Miami.
You're on the show. Welcome.
Yeah, I got a lot of white college friends in this liberal shithole.
And every time I hear them talk about all these immigrants coming in, they say, oh, but don't you know these people?
They work on your houses. They do your plumbing. They do your hedges.
They say these nasty things that you want them out.
And it's always like this kind of tone of,
oh, these people are kind of, they treat them
like indentured servants in a way.
They don't actually give a shit about who they are.
It's like, oh, look at this slave class coming in.
You know, I could use these people to work on my
front lawn and all that.
You know, that's a great point.
They're insulting these people as they think
they're, you know, that's what happens when you
patronize people. And that's why they're the real racists they think they're, you know, that's what happens when you patronize people.
And that's why they're the real racists.
And you're absolutely right.
Like, and you know what?
And they're right on some points because most of them are going to do that.
But you know what?
It only takes a few.
I mean, like I said, I bring up Officer Singh and you just saw the statistics.
Yes, there are majority of them are good, hardworking people, but it's not our fucking job. We already have, nobody knows, we have anywhere from 11 million to 22 million illegals in this country.
We don't even know the number yet.
We don't need any more uneducated fucking low-skill workers, period.
I've been for a moratorium on legal and illegal immigration uh forever jason
great call man thank you uh so much i guess this hit a nerve uh but um i feel safer knowing that
some of these tsa people won't be at work because i fly a lot you know that why can't i scroll this
fucking thing you know this mouse was made by fucking,
somebody come up with something funny.
I'm tired.
China?
Made by China.
They've seen the show.
They don't like it.
Anyhow.
I'll take one more, and I got to move along.
But I think we,
you can't argue with those facts and statistics that anybody can look up.
Those aren't made up.
I love the irony
that this is a manufactured,
I should have called the show
Manufacturing Consent,
which was a book by Noam Chomsky,
a far left so-called genius.
But that's what it is.
That's, if the left had any brains, it'd say he's manufacturing in other words wants consent to build a wall look at this uh this uh i was going to call it graffiti
how old am i confetti on my shoulder uh excuse me who's gonna vacuum this mess luckily i have
some illegals that i hired that uh will clean this mess right oh Jesus what did I eat sausage I'm gonna take one
more call Nick in Vegas Nick what's going on hey Paisan how you doing
alrighty just want to say I think I think this government shutdown you know
Mark Levin says it best he goes goes, the government shutdown is a good thing.
You know, I think what's going to happen is all these people are going to see how much of a big fucking baby these Democrats are.
And then, you know, they're going to cave in eventually.
And, you know, with Ted Cruz and his new bill on doing term limits, I think that's going to be the next big thing
after this shutdown is over.
Okay.
Because people are just sick and tired of these neurons.
All right.
Thank you for the call.
I sort of disagree with Levin on that, who's usually a pessimist like me.
I don't think they're going to give in.
That's how the heels are dug in.
Oh, I don't think they're going to give in either.
I just hung up on somebody I didn't meet.
But what I think is...
Go ahead.
No.
Nick just dropped.
Anyways, that's part of the government shutdown.
You can't even make a call today.
Jesus Christ.
We need a little...
We need a palate cleanser after that.
Let's... Want to see an old man fly through the air with the greatest of fucking ease?
And he has nothing to do with the circus.
And these are the type of people climbing into our country.
They have sense of humor like I do, actually.
I don't know, I pulled the, I sort of sprung this on Jason.
season. You know what?
I just watched that.
I had an epiphany myself.
It's a good way to get over the wall.
Just make that spring a little fucking tighter under that seat and he lands in fucking Sacramento.
Does he not?
I think he does, my friends. But how about all the footage of Schumer, Pelosi,
Obama, Clinton saying their fucking illegal immigration is a problem a couple of years ago?
Lying motherless fucks. And then you Democrats who vote, here's the difference between Republicans.
You watch that and go, you know what? They are two-faced fucks, but we're going to stay with them. We have to stay goosed
up in the march with them.
There's the difference.
If I saw a Republican being that
two-faced, I'd call them out
on it. But you guys don't. You just want to fucking
win.
Can we move on? I'm tired of talking about
brown people and ladders and walls and fucking...
Let's move on to some gender news.
Apparently, us guys are the problem of the world.
We've reported on this many times, but now it's official because the APA,
that would be the American Psychological Association,
says traditional masculinity is harmful.
I'd like to see how many
fucking bearded women
were in on this research
wearing fucking high tops
and had asses like fucking...
Somebody come up with something.
For the first time in its history,
the American Psychological Association,
that's the APA,
released guidelines
concerning men and boys
saying that so-called,
and this is in quotes,
traditional masculinity not
only is harmful, but also could lead to homophobia and sexual harassment.
Right away, they show their hand.
So if you're a straight guy, just a guy, just a fucking straight guy, that means you're
going to have a tendency to be homophobic and sexually harass women.
You lying fucking, I can't take this anymore.
This show's making me very angry.
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Put that in your pipe.
The main thrust of the subsequent research is that traditional masculinity,
listen to this, marked by stoicism,
that's when you don't show your emotions like your dad. Think of your dad and guys who are really manly. Competitiveness,
which fucking guy, like women aren't competitive. Are you dog-siling me? I've seen two women get
in a fistfight over a sweater at Jordan Marsh at Christmas time. Claude each other's eyes. I'm not
making that shit up. Fucking 15 years ago in Boston. They're not competitive.
Are they, Brods? You filthy. Stoicism, competitiveness, dominance, and aggression is on the whole harmful
reads the news release by the famed association. In other words, every natural trait you have is a man.
Do you understand? I've been called the woman hater from my sisters, my mother. This was years ago.
But I wasn't hating women.
I was hating this type of shit that I could see coming a mile away
because I experienced some of it, even as old as I am.
And I was right.
They are a cancer.
The feminist movement today is a cancer.
It wasn't.
It did some good things.
The modern-day feminists, you're a fucking
cancer. You're an insidious. You're at the
core of all political correctness that
we hate in this country. You're at the core
and it's based in envy. You wish
you had a fucking dick. You know
that we can knock you out if it ever gets
to that point. And you know what?
You can't get over that shit. And you
never will. There's no way you
can change physical dynamics.
We'll always be bigger and stronger for the most part.
That's all this is.
This is the worst case of penis envy.
And they just made it official because it came out of the American Psychological Association.
Pooey.
Pooey.
It notes the research shows traditional masculinity is psychologically harmful
and that socializing boys to suppress their emotions causes damage that echoes both inwardly
and outwardly oh does it show that does it really my dad suppressed his emotions you know he was a
great dad and a great husband saw all my' fathers and every other fucking guy that I know that's 40 years older than me. World War II, huh? World
War II, the greatest generation ever. They should have been what? Crying and screaming when they saw
the fucking Germans and the Japanese? Seriously, think about what you're saying. You're so full of
shit. They saved the world world men saved the fucking world
from nazism and everything else that was evil and you're never going to be able to accomplish that
so keep reading writing your fucking articles and insulting men the whole goddamn who put
fucking who put the first man on the moon was it chicks and if you're so superior why aren't you
running everything oh because you you oppress us it's a rigged game or figure
it out figure it out I am so tired of this fucking horse shit traditional
masculinity ideology has been shown to limit male psychological development Oh
constrain their behavior result in gender role strain in other words you ideology has been shown to limit male psychological development.
Constrain their behavior.
Result in gender role strain.
In other words, you should be putting on your mom's dress and just give it a shot in second grade.
And gender role conflict and negatively influence mental health and physical health.
You have such a warped view of the world, APA.
I don't know how to be.
The masculinity ideology is defined by the APA.
Why do they get to define it?
As a particular constellation of standards that have held sway over large segments of the population,
including anti-femininity, achievement.
You see?
At least they're being open about it.
At least they're being open about it.
This is why you guys suck.
open about it. This is why you guys suck. An askew of the appearance of weakness and adventure, risk, and violence. All the shit that great men have actually, you know, tendencies
that they have showed over time. It's what makes men walk on the moon it takes courage it takes balls it doesn't take a weepy
it's what it's why guys protect their fucking uh women and it's why guys alas to get in the boats
when a boat is sinking it's women and you're trying to get my attention right oh sorry
i'm listening to it I'm listening to it.
I'm listening to it.
I'm focusing on you.
Please listen and learn.
Your generation is so fucked up.
It's not your fault, by the way.
I like the millennials that come out to see me.
They've had enough themselves.
Listen to this.
The research goes on to suggest that masculine boys may put their energy toward disruptive behavior,
such as homophobia, bullying, and even sexual harassment.
Shut the fuck up.
Really? Really?
Everything that's wrong with our society is because of masculinity.
You don't find that rigged research?
If you buy this shit, you are fucking severely retarded.
They do that instead of strive for academic excellence really really let's count the phds
let's let's compare how many women are great at math and science as opposed to men you want to
get right down to it do you want to get right down to it no you don't though men benefit from
patriarchy they are also impinged upon by patriarchy, said Ronald F. Levant,
a professor emeritus of psychology at University of Akron and co-editor of the APA volume,
The Psychology of Men and Masculinities.
You know what, Dr. Levant?
This is what I think of you.
You're the fucking problem, you fucking Dr. Y.
Onking jam rag, onking spunk bubble, I'm telling you, H.
You keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground.
I promise you.
Not this time.
That was toxic masculinity.
The new paper also advises clinicians
how to address the problems of their own bias
when treating boys and men.
Yeah, sure it does.
And urges to address how power, privilege, and sexism
work both by conferring benefits to men
and by trapping them in narrow roles.
We're winning right now,
so it's all working fine.
Although we are the most,
I admit emasculation
and guys are really,
I watch TV, every commercial,
every sitcom,
it's a straight character in a movie
and I go,
guy sounds a little gay.
And then I Google him
and you know what? He is
gay. It's an
agenda. It's being pushed. Don't believe
any of it. The only reason
man has evolved is because of those
traits that they say are poison.
Stoicism.
Courage.
Fucking A. fucking a the next story i'm gonna get to okay is gonna prove what i just said right it's a it's a great else this might be the greatest show yet the hundredth show hope you guys are
making notes on these rants two more youtube uh things and i get a styrofoam doll or some shit.
Joe in New Mexico was raised by a feminist who was a PhD counseling psychologist.
I know a few people who've been raised that.
And he says that I'm completely right
and he has a personal story how I am right.
Joe, welcome to the show.
Please tell me what I said is correct
and tell us your little anecdote.
Well, it's a lifelong story.
Oh, good.
I'm one of the oldest.
I'm 58, and I'm one of the oldest guys that was raised in this bullshit.
Starting in the late 60s, my mom started telling me how bad men were,
and I had to disavow my masculinity.
Right.
And it really, you know, it really fucked me up for my first three marriages.
I believe that wholly.
My dad's a great guy, and she always said, you know,
and he's stoic, just like you said,
but he was a great guy, doctor all his life, great guy, and he's still alive, but he's
like your dad.
He's losing it.
Yeah.
And, you know, she divorced him, and she never got married again.
She never went down the lesbian route, but she hates men, and she's so screwed up because
she's followed every psychological fad for the last 45 years and it's all bullshit.
It's all bullshit.
And, you know, I could tell you story after story.
I finally gave up trying to be nice to women
and I tried everything the opposite in my 40s
and I got laid like you wouldn't believe.
Yeah, there's the great point right there.
Because not all women buy into this shit.
And you know what they want?
They don't.
No, they don't.
They say they do, but they don't.
Yeah, because if they don't agree with the feminists,
they'll be outcasts.
But they really do want you to.
Right.
They want you to bang them until they faint and protect them from physical danger.
And I know people laugh at it.
I don't know if you remember Tom Likas, but he was an inspiration to a lot of guys like me.
I mean, he said, treat them like crap.
And I thought that rubbed me wrong at first.
But he was a lot of shtick but he
there was there was truth to the core of that yeah you don't have to you don't have to treat
him like crap but uh you know just i know yeah i know yeah i mean you know they can open their
own fucking doors and pull out their own chair this isn't fucking 1940 but i remember like as
i lived in la and i listened to him a lot too and And boy, did they come after him.
Yeah, he was great.
He was entertaining as all hell.
Oh, fuck yeah. God, he was great.
What's he doing now?
I think he served me a burger at Arby's
a couple fucking years ago
when I went out there.
He tried to get in early on the...
He got fired the same day as Corolla did
because they were both at the same station.
Right.
And he tried to go digital.
And I think he's just a little too old.
He just, he tried to, he was one of the early guys with the paid thing.
And I think it just, the world wasn't ready for it yet.
And then he was too old and it passed him by.
I don't know what he's doing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, that's what happens when you come up.
I'm telling, thank you for the call, by the way.
Great, great call.
Appreciate it. Thank you, Nick. All right, John. what happens when you come up. I'm telling, thank you for the call, by the way. Great, great call.
Appreciate it, Jim. Thank you, Nick.
All right, Jim.
Keep it going.
All right.
It's an insidious movement.
It is just based on absolute envy.
Penis fucking envy is all it is, with a PhD thrown into it.
And there's young guys, much younger than me, who, you know what?
God bless them.
They still come to my shows.
Because they're like, you know what?
I am a guy's guy or whatever.
And they don't buy into the shit.
A lot of them do, but a lot of them don't. And the ones that buy into it, the guys, the millennials will say, I'm a feminist.
They tell women that.
They end up trying to fucking finger pop abroad and get caught at work and shit.
That's their end now to get into their pants.
But, I mean, Jesus Christ.
The caveman was how many
fucking millions of years ago?
You know,
if what they were saying was true, it would still
be in the caves, you know, and
we would bring in our pelts
down to the river and cleaning them while the
wives were out hunting.
You alright, Ryan?
The fuck are you doing?
Oh, thanks for telling me 48 minutes into the show.
I don't want to mess this.
He hits my hair.
Holy shit.
That's not confetti.
That's dry scalp.
I'll get it after the show.
People know there's a party going on.
Anyways, here's a video
that explains what I'm talking about,
about these inherent masculine traits
that they want to change.
They want to change the DNA of men,
these feminist whores, because they want to be men. want to change the DNA of men, these feminist whores,
because they want to be men.
But here's a female cop,
and I'm not putting her down.
She's out there risking her life
to protect people and shit.
But watch her reaction
when she pulls a guy over
who's wanted for murder.
She doesn't know that at the point.
But he pulls a gun on her.
And just watch,
and you'll see what I'm talking about
that's her screaming I don't blame her guys pull the gun on her she's wrestling
with a gun
right between the fucking eyes bye-bye there's's that toxic masculinity on display again.
A guy that had the balls to run towards, like most first responders do,
run towards a guy with a gun trying to kill his partner.
She's screaming like the brother she is.
I don't blame her for that.
Although he would have been better off with a male partner.
You can ask any cop that and he runs towards danger
and does what? Saves her fucking ass
but those traits
were just illustrated to you
big balls
running towards danger, courage
you think he's going to go on TV
and talk about it and shit? No
he might do like a lot of veterans do
come home and
not say it. World War II veterans
didn't say a word. They came home,
started a family, and built the country.
Oh, but they never told
the kids they loved them and shit.
Tough shit!
So there's that toxic
masculinity on display.
Saving a female partner.
But let's rub that out.
Let's get him out of the picture so it could be two chicks getting shot.
Yes, I know.
I'm sure female cops somewhere saved the guy.
I just haven't seen the clip yet.
I'm not saying that doesn't exist.
exist. Let's go to Steve in New York. Steve, welcome to the Nick DiPaolo Show. What's going on uh how you doing nick pretty good uh you know i was i was raised in new york uh my whole life uh i come from a mixed background i'm not black or white but i come from you know
latin and asian yeah and uh it's just interesting because you know every time I watch a commercial or see a movie
coming on it's always the white girl the black guy and I always wondered about
that the white the white girl the black guy in every single commercial and every
single movie I mean they're not putting the white girl of a Chinese guy or an
Indian guy or even a Latin guy white girl's the white girl for black guys. Again, another... And it's to the extent...
Yeah, another great point.
It's to the extent where...
It's to the extent where I see it having an effect on young youth,
where they're impressionable,
and it affects the dating experience and the marriage choice as they go on.
Now, this is not something politically correct to talk about,
but it's obvious.
It's completely obvious.
Well, it's the height of political correctness, what they're doing.
Yeah, to talk about it is another thing.
But you make a great point that the left,
who's always singing about diversity,
but they seem to be focused, and you're right,
lately I've noticed a lot of commercials
where it's always black and white.
And you're right, it's usually a white girl with a black guy,
but that's very popular in commercials and movies right now.
And for a party that's so invested in diversity,
why isn't it a black girl and an Asian guy or an Indian guy?
You don't really see much of that.
That's what I was wondering.
Well, because they hung up
on the black-white thing.
If you know who makes these commercials, Steve,
and you know the politics of people
who turn out these movies
and make these commercials,
they are obsessed.
They are obsessed with race.
They're the ones who say they want a colorblind
society. And they think they're going to change the world by having a white girl in a Sprite
commercial with her black boyfriend or whatever, or vice versa. But you make a great point that
there's other minorities you don't see paired up with a black guy. So what's that about?
I think it has to do with them being as racist
as they deny themselves to be.
That's actually a great point.
It's a great point.
I mean, because
and I noticed that a long time ago
in sitcoms. And now you got
there was a show on years ago.
Thanks for the call, Steve, by the way. Great call.
There was a sitcom years ago. My buddy Anthony Clark,
he's a gay comic. He's from Boston.
It was on for about five or six years. i don't even remember the name of it but he's playing a straight husband you know and uh i know guys folks i lived in hollywood i went on
these auditions all the casting people at least on the auditions i went on there was always a you
know a few gay guys in the room and and they're just obsessed with it. And they think
the rest of the country looks like West Hollywood, and it doesn't. And I've said this before on this
show. As long as we have this mentality, we can't do a commercial and have four white guys drinking
Budweiser, watching TV. It's not just commercials. It's everything.
It's the local news.
You can't have more than three white people.
It's like a rule.
Somebody told me it's in writing.
I read a book years ago.
I forget what the hell the name of it was.
But it's actually in writing.
You have to have so many minorities in a commercial and stuff.
But it's so... You're going to tell me there's not five black guys
watching the Super Bowl by themselves without a dorky going to tell me there's not five black guys watching the Super Bowl by themselves
without a dorky white friend
and there's not five white guys watching.
I know we're a diverse country,
but we don't really fucking hang out
that much together.
Except for down south,
like I said,
where it's refreshing.
I've worked comedy clubs down south.
You go to breakfast,
you see like older black people
and white people
having lunch together and shit.
Not as much in the northeast.
And of course, the northeast is where the people screaming most about racism and uh uh but there's actually a great point you don't you don't see it you don't
see an asian guy and a hot black chick that or maybe you do maybe i'm not watching the right
channels but i'm watching espn a lot you couldn't get more fucking liberal than that
anyhow this one kind of cracked me up.
I'm glad I'm not
have a kid in this guy's class.
We're going to change
the subject here a little bit.
Substitute teacher
Tracy Abram,
he's a man,
41,
arrested Tuesday morning
at Creekside Middle School
after he was allegedly caught
masturbating in a classroom
while students were present.
What's a fucking ocean in a bathroom?
Do we have a picture of him?
Guilty. Guilty.
As Otto and George...
As George the puppet used to say, guilty.
Look at that poor bastard.
Did they take that picture a second after he got busted?
This is him having a great time at a party.
Look at this sad sack of cheese.
This poor son of a bitch.
Look at the size of his skull.
And he's got three necks.
Hasn't seen a tit or a vagina in God knows.
And he's yanking it in the classroom behind his desk,
allegedly.
I mean, what?
You know, he's, I mean,
they put it, they showed a picture
of the classroom, the kids that are sitting
in the front row, they all had goggles on
and fucking, it looked like a Gallagher concert.
Look at this poor prick.
I'm getting sad looking at him.
The class reportedly noticed suspicious behavior by the substitute,
like him breaking his right hand on the desk drawer.
It was taking place behind his desk around 10.30 a.m.
The alleged behavior was reported to administrators,
and the teacher was immediately removed from school property.
Charges were filed against Abram for public indecency.
He was arraigned Tuesday.
They'll lump this, the APA will lump this into
masculinity. All guys
are capable of this. They're all capable of
rape. You know, the feminists in the APA
will tell you that.
He was arraigned Tuesday.
School officials said in a statement, Abram will not be
returning to the district. He won't? Why not?
He was just fucking around.
There was a cute girl named Jenny in the seventh row.
I mean, come on.
Sick fuck.
I love this.
We get a quote from Abram's father.
Claim the incident was a misunderstanding.
No, a misunderstanding is where you
wear a suit on casual Friday
or you ask for fucking
Splenda and you get equal.
And his son has never had an issue like this in his life.
The father says, I don't think what
the student saw is what really was happening.
No, that's right. It was just an allusion.
What's the father
supposed to say?
Yeah, he's been a jerk off his whole life.
Didn't surprise me.
And they should hang him by his toes.
I mean, I just know you're,
you got a daughter in middle school or whatever.
Can you fucking imagine?
I'd go in there.
I'd say, I'd like to take a meeting with Mr. Abrams.
Then I'd get him in the room and then I'd be charged with murder.
You know?
They'd find him with three erasesers stuck in his fucking esophagus
suffocated.
But only males
would do that. Only male teachers.
It's not like there's female teachers out there
raping 14-year-old boys.
Is there? We haven't read
7,000 of those stories.
Spanking it.
I've got to wrap this up soon, folks,
because I have to drive into the city,
which is never fun.
I'm 40 miles north.
Real quick.
I'll save the other two for tomorrow.
And what could be a first for the nation?
An Alabama emergency management agency
issued a public service warning this week
telling people not to eat hundreds of chicken tenders
spilled across the state highway.
It happened Sunday in Cherokee County
and the sheriff's office went so far
as threatening to charge any sticky-fingered people
caught in the act.
So a truck tipped over with chicken tenders on it,
and people had to be told not to eat them off the road.
Where am I living?
Hello?
I sound like Rachel Maddow after Trump won.
You're not dreaming.
This is the world we live in.
Would you eat chicken tenders
if there was another truck behind it
that dumped a bunch of fucking honey mustard
I might jump out of my car
I wouldn't though
chicken tenders
let me tell you something
quarter pounder with cheese or filet of fish
I'd be out there on all fours
I don't give a shit if they were there for two days
I'd be fighting off buzzards
to eat a filet of fish that was laying in the highway.
God, do I love those.
That double quarter pounder with cheese is like heroin.
The Cherokee County Sheriff's Office is asking that no one try to stop to get the chicken tenders that were spilled from the 18-wheeler accident.
You're creating a traffic hazard.
Alabama, I'm trying to defend you people but you're
making it very difficult you have all kinds of great food down there you know southern food grits
and whatnot fried chicken gumbo and you're going after chicken tenders in a box you're creating a
traffic hazard it's a crime to impede the flow it's called dining alfresco i believe in alabama while they're out there they can pick up a few raccoons and deer that will run over
the guy says you're creating a traffic hazard it's a crime to impede the flow of traffic
those cases have been on the ground for over 24 hours and are unsafe to consume
ah why is everyone so fucking stupid?
Why aren't more people
interrogating like me?
People let the way in,
of course,
on Twitter and Facebook.
The fact that you have to post
this is killing me.
Another guy said,
anybody else feel like
they lost a few IQ points
after reading this?
Another guy said,
I came to there last night
at about 730.
There were two vehicles sitting on the side of the road with lights on and flashlights.
I remember, and this is true, I was doing a club in Atlanta.
We were going to a radio, morning radio, and there was a road kill.
I don't know what the fuck was it.
It wasn't a deer.
It was a deer.
There was a guy out measuring it
with a tape measure.
So he's going to do something with it.
And then he was taking
its temperature anally.
And I said, you know,
but he was measuring it.
I still to this day,
I don't know if he's going to make
a pair of slippers for his wife
or venison steaks.
I don't know.
But I've never seen that in the Northeast.
Somebody out there, there's a raccoon, and you have your fucking tape measure out.
Anyways, the fact you have to be told not to eat chicken tenders on the highway.
Welcome to America.
Let's end it with a, let's end this with a fight.
Pass up in some super chats real quick?
Okay, real quick. I got gotta get out of here all right none
your business said i listened to the show because it's important to get a balanced perspective in
these confusing times thank you very much uh fella it is there's not too many places where
you can go and you can hear this type of stuff and i get to cut loose and and uh you know i i'm
glad you uh appreciate that.
Hey, Mang.
Hey, Mang.
From New Zealand.
Paid New Zealand dollars.
Daily reminder, airtight wooden doors are not real.
Airtight wooden doors?
Are not real.
What's he talking about?
I have no idea.
Okay, well, I have no idea either, but I'll take your money for the stupid comment.
Next.
Mindspray111 says, Nick, you were the best.
Much love from R.I.
Is that Mike?
Rhode Island.
Or is that somebody else?
Rhode Island, I love you.
I lived in West Warwick.
I was a door-to-door salesman down there.
I had a fucking ball.
And it's good to hear because, like I said, Rhode Island is a boil on the ass of Massachusetts where I grew up.
And to hear somebody who agrees with this type of stuff
is really refreshing from Rhode Island.
You have some of the dumbest politicians,
the left-leaning idiots,
but luckily you have the mafia in your own law system
in Providence, Federal Hill.
That is all.
All righty.
Let's show a dwarf fighting an animal.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four.
That is it.
I have to get out of here and head to the fat black pussycat.
Thank you guys for all your support. This is the 100th show, six month anniversary.
It actually flew by. And because you guys, you've made it successful. So it's only going to get
bigger once I go out and do Rogan and all the other stuff. I haven't even started to market
this yet. I try to keep my fingers and stand up. That's why I'm running out of the house right now.
But thank you guys. We can't do this without your support. Twinks, Priscilla, everybody, you are the best.
I will talk to you tomorrow, you Patreon members. Bye-bye, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music