The Nick DiPaolo Show - Rittenhouse Schools Whitehouse | Nick Di Paolo Show #630

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

Blackpanthers in Brunswick. Rittenhouse accuses Biden of malice. The turkey's at NBC. Help Yelp! BJ in the back of a police cruiser. FAA is P-oed.

Thanks for watching. Whether on social media or in our schools, on television or from the White House, now more than ever our freedoms, especially freedom of speech, are being suppressed. And that's putting it mildly. That's why I do this show. And that's why I put it out for free. For those of you who are able, please consider contributing to the show in any amount so we can keep it free and maintain a forum where right-leaning,

honest, unfiltered comedy exists. Just click on the contribute button on your screen or go to nickdip.com and click on the contribute button at the top. Thank you guys so much. Let's keep this freedom fight going. Hi there, doot dee doo, made you a turkey, dum-dum-dum, happy Thanksgiving, la-la-la. This is heavy, doo-doo-doo, hope I don't drop it, dum-dum-dum, happy Thanksgiving, la-la-la. Look at that wishbone, doo-doo-doo, where'd it come from, dum-dum-da-dump. Happy Thanksgiving, la-la-la.

I feel scared, doo-doo-doo. I'm going home now, dum-dee-dum. Happy Thanksgiving, la-la-la. What? Did you lock the front door? Dallas, when you came in? guitar solo Oh yeah! Welcome to the show everybody! Happy Thanksgiving!

If I don't see you guys on Thanksgiving, which I probably won't, that'd be kind of creepy if somebody watching this show from North Carolina has me banging on the living room window. That happened to us. I'm not shitting you. When we lived in Westchester County, my beautiful house at the end of a private road in the woods with a pond, we're having Thanksgiving. Got my in-laws over, we're sitting at the table just about to eat. Some old guy comes walking in the house. I don't know why the front door was open, unlocked. Comes walking right in. We're fucking passing food. I'm like, can I help you?

The knife was right here. I'm like, he goes, is this the craft resident? No, that's the next, across the pond, you can see there. And then I pushed him down the front stairs. True story, everybody. No, I didn't, but that's true. Fucking, can you imagine? What if the guy was, they had him fucking act? And he hit my what? Can you imagine? What if the guy was there and he had a fucking axe?

And he hit my wife. Can you imagine what a day that would have been? Cut it out. Cut it out. Cut it out. Anyways, this is my feasting. I should say my starvation starts today. I'll go home and do three deep knee bends and two jumper jacks

and pretend it prepares me for the feast I'll have on Thursday. Anyways, let's get to it so we can get the fuck out of here. In the N-word segment tonight, results of a study conducted by researchers at Harvard University found homeschoolers grow up to be young adults who are generally more well-adjusted, particularly showing characteristics of responsibility and social engagement than kids who attend public schools. So it must be obvious to you guys I took a bus to school every morning.

What were those characteristics again? Well-adjusted? Well, if you're talking about attitude, yes, I got that adjusted at home by my father every time I popped off at the mouth or looked at him with my already well-developed scowl. But as far as actual homeschooling, like learning history at the kitchen table, the closest we got was my father reading the ingredients off of Sam Adams' bottle. Now that I think about it, actually covered a little bit of geography too. If we didn't, you know, if we left food on the plate, he would hit us with the standard, do you know how many kids in Africa would love to have a plate of baked ziti? And

I'd be like, really? That many Italians in Africa? You're asking me how many, I don't know, 13? I don't know, Dad. It's a pang, boom, pang. I wish I was big just once, Henry. And, you know, I'd come back with something snide like that and get popped in the side of the mouth. Anyways, I digress there. As far as responsibility, well, I almost burned down the house in eighth grade. I came home hammered, put a frozen Elio's pizza in the toaster oven,

then proceeded to go downstairs to watch the Carson monologue and made it through the first two jokes before I passed out. Next thing I know, someone's shaking me awake and the sun was already up. And that someone was my dad holding what looked like a two by three inch black wallet with smoke coming off it. I almost burnt the fucking house down. He smacked me in the face and told me to go cut the lawn. And as far as social engagement qualities, I was pretty quiet as a kid in middle school. And the only social engagement I remember was me pulling out Corinne Conway's chair when she went to sit down and she bust her chin open on her desk. She sat in front of me. It was only because I had a crush on her. And, you know, what better way to show that

than to give her stitches? So, Harvard, if you're asking me if I believe, excuse me, if I believe kids grow up to be better people, if they aren't subjected to ugly feminist broads with armpit hair, Birkenstock sandals who don't douche and hate men, I'm guessing there's a correlation between those two, and are bitter in general because they weren't born male? Or if your kids aren't taught by emasculated men who think law and order are fascist concepts because they're too effeminate to ever protect a woman, or in their case, a boyfriend or themselves from anything that might do them harm? Are your kids better off being taught your values and morals instead of a complete stranger

who has none because Stalin and Che Guevara are his heroes? Yes, fuck yes. In the words of Crosby, Stills, and Nash, teach your children well. And that's the N-word for today, ladies and gentlemen. Ow, my eyes. They're so greasy. What time do we start? How old is the show right now?

What? No, I just want right now? We're good. What? We're good. No, I just want to know how far into it. We started at 1 in 19. Oh, we're five minutes in. Okay. It's always professional when the host of the show goes, are we almost done after five minutes? I mean, I think Carson did that.

Ed, Ed, three minutes. Boy, it was so hot outside. Let's talk about black militia, the black militia. As you know, CNN, I did a story earlier this week. CNN's convinced the scariest thing on the planet is an angry white man, which is so goddamn, I can't let that one go. Is there anybody angrier than black men? Anybody?

I don't give a fuck if he's 80, if he's a four-year-old boy at the airport, or he's 19 in a hip-hop fucking whatever. Seriously, is there anybody more angry? Other than me. Look, I'm Italian. I have a little black blood in me, so maybe that's where I get it. me? Look, I'm Italian. I have a little black blood in me, so maybe that's where I get it. That's right, I said it. Can you imagine making that statement? Good timing, too.

The next day, a fucking black fucking piece of human garbage runs over a bunch of white people killing women and children. But it's the white, again, and they don't even come out the next day and fucking, you know, try to retract or anything. You people, I'm ranting right now. I don't give a fuck. I am so tired. I don't know if you're really retarded mentally, if you believe what you're saying, or you're that power hungry that you'll do anything. Probably a combination of the two. I think you actually believe it, that you'll do anything. Probably a combination of the two.

I think you actually believe it because nobody can act that long for year after year and minute after minute. I'm sorry. Except maybe Sylvester Stallone. He's put out a good few films. Joy Reid is as hateful as any Klansman to ever live.

Racist piece of garbage. So's Tiffany Cross who fills in for her. Where do you fucking scumbags that run MSNBC find these hateful bitches? Junior college, they get probably average of a 2.6 because they're not really that bright. Fucking tired of it. White guys, aren't old white guys, most of us, that would include me, most of them wear khakis and cardigan sweaters and dockers. Yeah, they're fucking,

they're crazy. I'll say it again, you don't like this country, get the fuck out. We'll escort you out, I hope. I'm talking about the angry militant ones. As far as Savannah,

my neighbors and shit, fucking love them. And I'll say that again. I come to this town and I'm like, what the fuck? It works beautifully. It's just the media. You're a cancer. Anyways, Black Militia Maggots is the headline. Who wrote that? That was kind of zesty. Anyways, black militia maggots is the headline. Who wrote that? That was kind of zesty. Black armed militias rallied outside the Georgia courthouse Monday where three white men are on trial for the fatal shooting of a 25-year-old Ahmaud Arbery and an unarmed black man.

An unarmed black man. And a new Black Panther leader issued a warning. Oh, did you? Did you wish, did you? You know what's sad about this? Fucking Sergeant Milley, fucking General Milley would have his back. But I gotta believe there's a lot of rednecks in the army

who ain't gonna have it. Boys, you're playing with fire. So you're already trying to intimidate people before the fucking case is even... That's good. That's healthy. And why are they like that? MSNBC, CNN, NBC is my new enemy. Those motherfuckers. Did you see how they characterize that guy running over people in Milwaukee and Wisconsin? They called it a crash. They referred to it as a crash. You are evil motherfuckers.

We are on to you. We all know who runs that business. That's right, the Polish and the Armenians. Look at these scumbags and their black fucking... And here's what he had to say, the new Panther. These guys are such jerk-offs. Fox would have them on. It's great when they interview these guys because they expose how ignorant they are.

You're almost at the end. You're like, oh, I see. We could outsmart them with a fucking.38 revolver. Remember they showed up one election in Philadelphia at the voting booths, intimidating white people in front of the booth. This is what the black fella had to say. You're all, y'all are in serious trouble because the wrath of karma is coming on America. I'm coming on your sister's face, said a man who identified himself as the supreme commander

of the new Black Panther militia. We're not taking it no more what not taking it anymore what white lives what are you talking about let's take a look at the videotape look both ways fellas be careful there might be a white guy in an suv yeah where's the white fucking uh daryl brooks when you need him and this parade oh that's a beauty beauty beautiful that's it right very nice they crossed the street i gotta admit they look both ways and maybe they're not bad people as prosecutors and defense lawyers deliver their closing statements oh i this is the beginning of the deliberation the court the thing's been going on excuse me i

might have misspoken uh delivered their closing statements dozens of members of the BLM 757, lion of Judah armed forces. I get kicked out of that for showing up to the meetings drunk. And the new Black Panther Party marched outside the Glynn County Courthouse. The Southern, listen, this is how you know they're bad. The Southern Poverty Law Center, which is basically a hate group who is labeled Christian groups hate groups. That's how left-wing they are. Even they have called the new Black Panther Party a veritably racist and anti-Semitic organization whose leaders have encouraged violence against whites, Jews, and law enforcement. Hates Jews? Hates Jews! These people, they hate the Jews.

The activists carried new Black Panther flags and wheeled a coffin with a dummy corpse on which was written countless names of blacks who were killed at the hands of whites. You know, we couldn't fit the number of white people that have been killed by black people over the last 20 years on a casket or a fucking 13, 18 wheelers. Just go look at your statistics. So you're full of shit. Truth of the matter is, it's a minute. More white people, by the way, more white guys were killed by cops last year. And again, the media has blown this out of proportion. And this is where we are, at the hands of whites, including George Floyd and Breonna Taylor in an Instagram video show.

So it must be true. The message is we don't tolerate black and browns Being murdered anymore, and we will pull up anywhere in the nation. He told Fox News is that right? There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with his mind. I suggest you pull up to Stone Mountain, Georgia, but just tell us when you're coming They did that like a year ago, remember? There was nobody there to like, there was nobody there. He said the groups have shared a goal of self-defense for black.

Yeah, that's what it is, self-defense for black people. Really? But it's not for white people like Roger, what's his name? Roger. Kyle Rittenhouse. Really? Our long-term plan is to arm our entire community. I think that's already been done ten times over.

With responsible gun ownership. You wouldn't know responsible if it bit you in your ass. We'll be holding classes in the future. Oh, I bet you will. And we'll be setting up workshops in all 50 states. They asked Trump about it and Donald said,

Fuck your mother! That's why he's going to win. Setting up workshops. What will that look like? Will there be snacks? You know, you said there's nothing scarier than an angry white man. Wait till you see about, I don know five million of them i mean if this keeps on going um not me like i said i'll be home i i gotta paint i get all kinds of fucking

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Never mind. Let's get to some more. By the way, Tucker Carlson's the best guy on TV, period. He has been forever, and I don't care what anybody says. He tries to be as fair as possible, and he's 12 times brighter. Liberals stopped going

on his show. When he first took over, he would debate, and they stopped, because he would make them look like the assholes they are. Anyways, he had an interview with Kyle Rittenhouse, I think the first one, right, since all this ended. Kyle Rittenhouse in the interview accuses Biden of malice and defamation. That's a little overstating. He was very nice about it. Kyle Rittenhouse slammed Joe Biden. He didn't slam him. Whoever wrote this, he didn't slam him. He did it very articulately. I slammed Joe Biden for defaming his character when the president tweeted out a video suggesting the teen is a white supremacist. Worst president ever.

Fuck you and fuck you. Who's next? See, I told you he was nice about it. Fuck you and fuck you. Who's next? See, I told you he was nice about it. It's actual malice defaming my character for him to say something like that, Rittenhouse told Tucker Carlson during an hour-long interview that aired Monday night. Rittenhouse, who was acquitted on all charges last Friday in his highly publicized murder trial, was responding to a question from Carlson about how he felt over the president's comments. Here's a little bit of that interview.

You can go out and riot and attack anybody and you will have the support from the media and the politicians to do whatever you want and kill innocent people. And if they defend yourself, you're named a hero. That's the message I believe is being spread. Brett Rittenhouse's days of being involved in court cases may not be over. You may recall that then candidate Joe Biden's initial depiction of Rittenhouse was part of a tweeted video montage in which former President Trump refused to call out white supremacists in a debate. That video included an image of Rittenhouse, which may be grounds for a lawsuit. That, according to Todd McMurdy, he's the lawyer who... Even this is misleading by Fox. He failed to call out white militia, white supremacists.

They take it out of context. You guys kept saying after Charlottesville, he said there's fine people on both sides, which was a total fucking lie, was debunked the very next day. Yet you're still saying it. Anyways, go ahead. Represented Nicholas Sandman in the Covington, Kentucky case, quote, what you take from that tweet is that Kyle Rittenhouse was using his rifle and engaging in white supremacist misconduct. So it's actionable. More recently, as in the wake of the acquittal, Mr. Biden said he...

Nice clean cut. It's all right. Hey, do you guys know it in Nicholas Sandman? Remember the guy, the kid with the Indian in his face pounding the drum? Do you know what he got for being defamed by, I don't know who, I forget if it was CBS, NBC, whatever, 250 mil. And this kid has a stronger case. Stronger case. Anyways, Biden candidate in 2020 had tweeted,

there's no other way to put it. The president of the United States refused to disavow white supremacy. That was Biden talking about Trump right after the debate. And full of shit. And he called this kid a, you know. The post, which includes a 50-second clip, refers to a question Fox News host Chris Wallace asked Trump during a presidential debate about whether he was willing to condemn white supremacists and militia groups in the wake of unrest in Kenosha, Wisconsin, and other American cities.

Trump said when asked, That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. The clip includes image of Rittenhouse, 18, wielding a semi-automatic rifle. Rittenhouse in Monday night's interview also blasted Biden over his post-verdict prepared statement where the president said he was angry and concerned over the trial's outcome. And this is, do we have him responding? outcome and this is uh do we have him responding no well he said mr. president and and this is this saying slammed mr. president if I could say one thing to you I would urge you to go back and watch the trial and understand the facts

before you make a statement that's slamming the president this kid is so poised for 17 if If somebody doesn't try to take him out in the next few years, he's going to have to live his life looking over his frigging shoulder. I don't know if he even realizes that. He would make a great whatever, military guy, senator. I hate to say that because you send him to D.C. and it just poisons people. say that because you send them to dc and it just poisons people but uh yeah he's telling the president a jerk off who's been in dc politics his whole life almost that you should get all the facts first which just shows you how biased and it's bullshit basically what uh rittenhouse was saying that biden was and i say about him he was the best guy around

if you watch that interview you tell me if you're being honest that that kid's a threat to anybody the way these fucking jerk offs betrayed him as a vigilante running around is just

disgusting never should have been brought to court and now Joy Reads of the world are calling him a little white murderous is just disgusting. Never should have been brought to court. And now Joy Reid's of the world are calling him a little white murderous supremacist. You people are fucking ill. You want a race war, and you're probably going to get it. You have all the power.

Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi. How the fuck is she still on Joy Reid? Think about it. And they keep hiring these people. So you'd like to go to the white guys that run these networks and go, just what's your problem? Huh? Is there a lot of money in it?

Is that how you're going to pay for your fifth house in Aspen? As long as there's so many clicks on CNN's website. Seriously, Jeff Zucker, he bitch slapped. Fucking NBC. They pretend to be, they're the creepiest. I mean, MSNBC is an NBC company. And NBC itself is just as bad. They're just more slick at it.

Calling that guy running over white people at the parade an accident, a crash. Yeah, a black guy crashed into a bunch of white old ladies and children. Regular fender bender. Speaking of NBC, a woman that works at a suggestion on a segment, I can't believe the Today Show is still on. That used to piss me off when I would come home from college and my mother was watching it.

I go, Ma, stop. Stop. They feed on people like you. I'm not going to serve turkey, it's racist. Although this lady here, and she's got a slight hint of Asian in her. I mean, I've never seen just enough to pick, it's perfect. If you were making her and she was a cake, you'd say a pinch of Asian. She's really attractive, and I think she was being light-hearted here not that attractive not in that picture this is Christ hold on let me fix my eyes anyways the turkeys at NBC that's my headline funny put about two seconds of that one a segment on NBC's Today on Saturday suggested American families could drop the traditional Thanksgiving from their tables this year to deal with inflation.

Yeah, let's throw out the—Ma, get the Alpo. Dog food! I'll show you dog food! Slap, just slap! It's very cheap. It's very cheap. We had to make a decision whether to pay the electric bill or eat dog food. When are you going to pull that one?

Can you imagine, though? This is how bad under Biden we are that some people would cut. If anybody cuts back on turkey, it's because it's drier than a box of Triscuits stuck in my grandfather's ass. He's been dead for 98 years. That made no sense. What a dink. Anyways, with inflation on the rise, prices are going up on everything from your Thanksgiving meal to your gifts for the holidays. Anchor Kristen Welker said to introduce the segment.

NBC News correspondent Vicki... How do you say that, Nugent? Nugent. What is it? Nugent. I knew it. I knew the guy who's in the military would know how to say that, because I've seen that name on a lot of, right? Nugent. And of course it's Nugent, because it's spelled N-G-U-I-N. spelled N-G-U-Y-N, noted that 6.2% rise in prices in October from a year ago, a three-decade high. Folks, that's 30 years. Calling it real money, which she is right. In addition to setting a

meal budget with an online app and buying store rather than name brands when said something she admitted uh may be controversial here's what she said naked experts are a little mixed on this but you could ask everybody to just throw in cash that really adds up and while we are on the topic of something that could be a shirt on Perhaps forego the turkey. Oh, that's flesh. Bear with me. I know that is the staple of. Forego the turkey.

I'd be glad to. I have a pizza oven, you motherfuckers. What would you rather have, honestly? A fucking Neapolitan pizza cooked perfectly, made by hand in my pizza oven, or a butterball that's got more steroids in it than fucking Schwarzenegger did when he won the fucking Mr. Universe. Go ahead, cutie pie. The Thanksgiving meal.

However, some people think turkey is overrated, and so it tends to be the most expensive thing on the table. Maybe you do an Italian feast instead. I like her. And I will say this. If you tell everyone you're having a Thanksgiving without turkey, some guests may drop off the list, and that's a way to cut costs, too. A little turkey hot dogs, maybe. I'm not recommending it. I'm just offering it.

Keep the pie. Keep the pie. Keep the pie, said the heavy anchor woman. I like the idea. First of all, even on The Sopranos, they had an episode, Thanksgiving, and of course they're unloading a truck of stolen turkey, and they're giving them to shelters and shit. And I think what Sylvia said, something about Thanksgiving and the black guy who was helping. Oh, they were giving it to a black pastor who gives it to his, you know, he's working hand in hand with Tony Ziprano. And the black guy goes,

what do you mean? You got to have turkey, pumpkin pie, and, you know, sweet potato pie. And Sylvie goes, that's because you never sat through the Y.O. version. The eggplant palm. Then the fucking turkey. My own. Anyways, not a bad idea, Vicki.

I had my first bit in comedy that really made, like, was my signature bit that everybody said this kid's really funny was that everybody, 11 people in Boston enjoyed it. Four of them were family members. It was about turkey being so dry, stuck in your throat, and all the tryptophan. After people eat, you look at the living room, looks like there's a gas leak in there. It was pretty goddamn funny.

My mother would tie the turkey up, you know. It's fucking, hey, it's a butterball, not Houdini. What the fuck? All kinds of funny shit like that. Anyways, I digress to kill time to get out of here. Yeah. Forgo the

turkey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a bad idea. Have you ever done that, Dallas? Italian? Your girlfriend's Italian. How could you not do Italian? Have you done that on Thanksgiving? Yes. I've not had a normal Thanksgiving

in years. By the way, I'm having Dallas to my house with his girlfriend, Gianna. I'm doing a nice gumbo. How about that? Nice chicken. I could make it but no, chicken and sausage gumbo. How about that? Nice chicken. I could make a turban. No, chicken and sausage gumbo. Dallas is like me. I'll eat a fucking

old Chewy Fines in a breakdown laying on Route 60. And maybe I'll throw some Guinea food in there. I don't know. You goddamn Guineas really make me laugh. I take your brother. I take your brother. While the segment was lighthearted, the costs on American families aren't a laughing matter.

A Fox News poll last month showed a strong majority of Americans expressing concern over inflation and a growing share that are falling behind on finances. So thank you, Joe Biden. On a similar note, NBC previously published a piece titled, get this, this is why NBC is mentally, Turkey, excuse me, got to burp. Turkey social media photos. They're saying Turkey photos on social media promote harmful obsession with meat. This was in 2019, urging Americans not to post pictures of their Turkey dinners because of how it would promote violence unnecessarily, including the violent origins of our food. I can't make that up.

Uh-oh, retard alert. Retard alert. What are you supposed to do with a fucking turkey? Euthanize it? Find kind of a Dr. Kevorkian for turkeys and put a little IV

in his little fucking claws. You snap his neck and you chop his goddamn head off. Just like Dallas did back in Nam with those fucks. Violence against, oh my God. Do you understand how? I don't care.

Although I don't like it when they hang a cow upside down and slit his throat, but I'm still going to eat the motherfucker. I thank God there's a pecking order on the planet. We're sort of at the top. You know what I'm saying? The day that a cow can cut You know what I'm saying? The day that a cow can cut my throat while I'm napping, then I'll get nervous. Actually that happened, this girl, very heavy.

NBC's liberal cable arm MSNBC took a darker turn on the holiday. Of course they did. The holiday weekend airing widely panned segment, tying Thanksgiving to genocide. Again, we got to hear that again. That remains on the menu. That's how they put it. Genocide still remains on the Thanksgiving in the United States.

Why doesn't somebody blow up MSNC and CNN and all of one day take them all the fuck out? You need to shut the fuck up. All right, I will. When we had Thanksgiving, my dad would make us do this around the table when my mother brought out the food. Pass the gravy, bitch! Hey, that was a good Thanksgiving song. That's my wife talking in her sleep.

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We thank them for being a loyal sponsor of the show. Great product, by the way. What's the headline here, ladies and gentlemen? Help Yelp. Help Yelp. Huh? Terrible, Nick. Would you write these on the way of the on the way to work in the car yeah a grandmother says she was kicked out of a i can't believe this story kicked out of a georgia oh now i can believe it hotel by police in the middle of the night after she left

a bad review online forcing her and her six-year-old granddaughter to walk to a nearby hotel in the pajamas. I think I saw him. I hit a puddle and splashed him and laughed. Wait a minute now. This is, can somebody explain to me why you'd go to Yelp in the first place? I mean, I know people, I mean, I know people who go there if they're going to buy something or go to a restaurant they want to see. Can somebody help me explain this? Because every time I've done that just to see, you're going to get a subjective opinion.

It's always like best restaurant I ever had, the cleanest kitchen I've ever seen. The staff was courteous. And next guy's like, I saw three rats dancing on the stove and nobody did anything. And the maitre d' spit on my wife because she didn't like her shoes. All in the same restaurant within the same day. I don't understand why you do that. I don't understand why you do that. You have to take a chance sometimes. My wife does it, too.

She goes to buy something. She looks up the list of the best, blah, blah, blah. I go, don't you understand the fucking company has a guy that writes for that paper? Nick, you're so cynical. I'm right. That's why we bought, we get rid of the Viking stove. I got a hot plate now. It's a little inconvenient, but now the Viking stove. Oh my God.

I'm like Batali back there. I'm making gnocchi. I'm grabbing tits and ass. I mean, let me tell you something. Susan Ledger, 63, was on the first of her three-night stay at the Baymont Inn. This doesn't help them, does it? Inn Suites in the mountain town of Helen. Helen, yeah. Georgia. It's beautiful. It's up in the woods.

In September, where she got a call from the hotel manager telling her she had to fucking leave. All right, get up! Yeah! her she had to fucking leave. Now that woman looks exactly like a buddy Matthew who used to work here. It came shortly after booking site hotels.com asked her to leave a review post check-in. Ledger did bring the property rundown. She also complained that her room's toilet did not flush oh pesky details i like to let it pile up and then dump it in the tub uh the toilet didn't flush properly and that the uh the pool was uh closed so they they give her the goddamn give her the goddamn go ahead let's listen to her I can't believe this. Susan Leger and her granddaughter were on a three-day getaway to the resort town of Helen, Georgia. But their stay at the Baymont Inn and Suites lasted only hours.

And they haven't paid and they're refusing to leave. Yeah, we are getting ready to leave because they have reviewers. The room is dirty and the place is run down. This is hotel manager Danny Vyas. He called 911 after the grandmother left a bad review. He was basically saying, you have to get out.

I didn't even pick that up when we ran through. He called 911? He called 911? This is what happens when people don't assimilate into our culture. Although he knows this can't be so stupid. It would probably work.

He called 911 because of a bad review about the hotel he works at. Now, if I own the hotel, I love the kid. No, I don't. I say, listen, fuckface, she has that right. Now, go back to Calcutta and finish your pigeon. I'm trying to get to Don Rickles. Go ahead, let's listen to Susan Ledger, who I dated in the 50s. Now, you know, you lie, you lie, you gave me bad review,

and I'm just sitting there going, oh my gosh, is this a prank call? I told the ma'am, we are going to refund your money, because I know that you didn't like the room so we have all the right that you can leave the place so we have all the right that you can leave what he's trying to say we have the right to kick you out because of the bad review i'm translating from this guy who just got here three minutes ago from fucking new delhi so we have all the right that you can leave the place, and we're going to refund you in full. We send you and your granddaughter to the Motel 6,

where the toilets don't flush either. Now I'm turning into fucking an Iranian. What's that, a birthday cake I'm looking at? That's the hotel? Welcome to the hotel. Anyways, I can't believe what I'm hearing. Is that enough for her? She said, my granddaughter.

It's like clinging to my leg and crying so hard. This was scary. This was just horrifying, Ledger told WXIA. Police then showed up. Are you dog-styling me? Police then showed up to remove her and her six-year-old grandchild, writing in a report that management wanted her out because she had given the hotel a bad review. Who the fuck do you think you are?

Who do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are? Who do you think you are? Who the you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are? Who do you think you are? Who the fuck? I don't blame the lady. I'm staying right here. What the fuck? Seriously, this should be investigated.

It sounds like a silly story. The police don't know about the First Amendment or whatever this would be covered under. There's no way that's legal. I might take up her case. Get Saul Leibowitz, my friend, on the phone. And I can call Jacoby and fucking Myers. You know, lady, maybe if you kept your mouth shut.

I have a big mouth! Good for you. Don't take no shit off anybody. Good for you, spider. You're going to let him get away with it? Oh, my goodness gracious, Heloise. Oh, and our FLA segment tonight. Yeah, we got a good one for you. No, no, no, no! What a state. While seated in the rear of a Florida Highway Patrol cruiser, Summer Watkins, isn't that a receiver for Clemson?

Had a brilliant idea. Baby, we should record an OnlyFans video back here. The 24-year-old yelled to her male companion, who would soon join her in the squad car. He loved it. Of course he did. Yes, sir. Watkins and Jordan. By the way, I think that's supposed to be Jordan, but that's how Dominicans would say Jordan. Like they say, job. I got to go, job. I don't know what he is. Doesn't look like he works at NASA. Look at her. She looks like Paul Stanley from Kiss. Does she not? Nice blowjob lips. I mean her, not Paul Stanley. Jordan Noah, 24, that's him on the right, were seated in the police vehicle after Noah's BMW was pulled over early Thursday since

he was driving with a suspended license, naturally. Cops planned to transport that dude to a nearby shell station in Naples where they could make arrangements to get home, according to the arrest report. When Noah joined her in the patrol car, Watkin asked a cop, and I quote, what if I suck his dick back here? Now, why couldn't I find that girl on prom night? The officer, what?

Because my sister wasn't home? Who said that? the officer, what? Because my sister wasn't home? Who said that? The officer replied that she could not do that. Watkins, however, persisted. Can I suck his dick back here?

The officer responded this. That's faggot stuff. You want a call by its name, that's strictly for fags. This is a good show. We have to put this up. When the cop closed the vehicle's rear door and walked away for a few minutes, Watkins and Noah, neither of whom was handcuffed, engaged in secular activity. It was recorded by the prisoner compartment cam. I can't believe what I'm reading here.

It's freedom, baby, yeah. After Noah exposed his penis, Watkins began performing oral sex on him. Watkins, cops noted, can be heard saying, fuck five hole, nice mouth that you blow your fucking dad with that. saying, fuck five hole. Nice mouth that you blow your fucking dad with that. While giving oral sex, Noah Copps, Noah Copps say, used his phone to memorialize Watkins pleasuring him. Can y'all hear me? He's filming this. She's sucking dick in the back of a state trooper right now. We are finished. We are morally bankrupt to the core. Noah exclaimed while recording, when Noah later used FaceTime to talk with a friend,

Watkins interjected, I just sucked his dick in the back of a police car. Delicious. Thank you. The sexual encounter was discovered an hour later when a patrolman reviewed video footage of the couple in the police vehicle. At that point, it was discovered that the defendant had performed oral sex on Noah, reported trooper J.D. Perez

Morales as he was pulling up his pants and wiping his hands. Since Watkins had already been dropped off, the cop returned to the gas station and arrested her for lewd and lascivious behavior and breach of peace, both misdemeanors. She later bonded out of jail and is scheduled for a play date at my apartment on Sunday. Scheduled for arraignment on December 16th. Cops were asked and the sergeant said, stop like that. A, she was a whore. B, she was a whore. Finally tonight, finally tonight on Meet the Mess, FAA is P.O.ed. Federal officials said Monday they're seeking more than $160,000 in fines from eight airline passengers over incidents involving alcohol. The Federal Aviation Administration said the biggest single proposed fine topping $40,000 involves a passenger,

a comedian on his way to the front. Italian looking passenger who brought alcohol on the plane and drank it, smoked marijuana in the lavatory, and sexually assaulted a flight attendant on a... Why do they get to have all the fun? I'm back in 33G. It's on a South Airlines flight in April. That guy's slob.

That boy is a P-I-G pig. That can't be a real picture. Police arrested the passenger after the plane from San Jose landed in San Diego, charged the person with resisting arrest and public intoxication, according to the FDA. It was not clear why the passenger was not charged with assault, because maybe the fag attendant started it. The FAA does not have authority to file criminal charges. The FAA did not.

Why wouldn't a federal agency not have the right to charge? I don't understand. The FAA did not identify any of the eight passengers who face a combined total of 160,000 plus in civil penalties, although they have the right to contest the allegations. In some cases, airline crews diverted flights to land more quickly because of the passengers' erratic behavior. The proposed fines represent the latest salvo in the FAA's attempt to crack down on unruly passengers on planes, a problem that became much more common starting in January. Airlines have reported more than 5,000 incidents of unruly passengers to the FAA.

Maybe we're sick of being treated like fucking children. Maybe because you guys haven't evolved as an industry one fucking red pubic hair in the last 40 years. Maybe because there's less fucking leg room now in coach than there was fucking, literally. They're making it smaller on some airplanes. Maybe it's that. Maybe it's because the fucking

The fucking What do they call it? They get on the PA and tell you all the rules What do they call that? Come on Dallas, you've flown This guy jumps out of planes I ignore every single bit of it Well yeah, like the announcements, whatever

They go on forever They literally go ever Not literally, it's not, whatever. They go on forever. They literally go ever... Not literally. It's not like Kim Kardashian. They go on forever. There's more rules now. They used to be 10 minutes.

Now they've added another five about the mask and shit. And then they go, enjoy your flight. Don't move. Don't breathe. Shut up. Put on a mask. Fucking eat shit, die. Enjoy your flight.

Oh, by the way, there's no food and alcohol. Anyways, most of the incidents have involved passengers refusing to follow the federal requirement for passengers to wear face masks, which, again, is absolutely, I understand the frustration, while on planes. But nearly 300 have involved intoxicated passengers, according to the FAA. We have a spokesman from the FAA. Excuse me. Oh, he's a passenger. Have you ever been

in Schenectady? No, I never was in Schenectady. Neither was I. It must have been a couple other guys. But I still have a feeling I've seen your face

someplace else. No, it's always been right here. Out on top of my neck. Maybe you've seen me on television. Oh, no, I've never been on television. See, is it all right if I join you? I just dropped in for a little drink to settle my nerves before I go to work. What sort of work do you do?

I'm an airline pilot. Well, how did you get to be an airline pilot? I used to be a bus driver. But I quit. Too many drunks on the road. What do you fly? What do you fly? Portsman and those big gray metal things with what you call a sticking out on the side.

Wings? Are you an airline pilot, too? No, I've been pretty high in my time. Did you ever have any close calls as a pilot? Oh yes, especially since they moved the men's room to the back of the plane. I was on a flight from New York to LA a couple of weeks ago and the plane lost an engine. Oh, don't worry, it'll turn up.

You know, there's a lot of pressure being a pilot, flying way up there, high in the air, and above all those white fluffy things. Clouds? You sure you're not a pilot? Are you sure you're not a pilot? The great Foster Brooks, who was once a really bad alcoholic, and that's how he... Go back and watch the Dean Martin roast, ladies.

I mean, even if you're younger than me, you guys want to laugh your ass off. He would steal the show every time. Didn't matter. They put him on last because nobody could follow him. Fucking tremendous. Which is what I'll be doing when I'm done with my comedy career. I'll be shooting heroin and they'll have me at roast. That is it for the week, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you have a great Thanksgiving.

And seriously, eat like pigs. Oh, my two tips I give every year about Thanksgiving. Number one, remember when you're cooking the turkey, the center of it should be about 72 degrees Fahrenheit at the most. Come on, Dallas, that was sarcasm. And the other thing is if last year I wanted to see how you stuff a turkey properly, you know, and I couldn't find videos anywhere,

so I went to a porn site. There's a fisting section. Wrote that ten years ago. You know how many people, well, I put it on Twitter. I fucking heard people in clubs do it. Bastards. Anyways, that is it, ladies and gentlemen. Have a great Kill the Indians and Give Them Dirty Blankets and give them dirty blankets. Holiday. Enjoy. Come on, Brent. We call it maze. Yeah. Remember thecomicsgym.com. Nicktip.com. Buy something.

We're having a sale, I guess. Water skis, fucking retarded helmets. Cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to cameo.com. All right. You guys thinking I will say it? You're very welcome.

Have a great, great holiday. We'll see you back here on Monday. Don't bet the Lions. Good day, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music