The Nick DiPaolo Show - Rogan Vs. CNN | Nick Di Paolo Show #611
Episode Date: October 18, 2021Buttigieg defends family leave. Don Lemon doubles down on Ivermectin remarks. Florida suspects sister helped police. Man trained in MMA fights carjackers. Museum fires all white docents. Female writer... really 3 men.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Thanks for watching. Whether on social media or in our schools, on television, or from the White House,
now more than ever, our freedoms, especially freedom of speech, are being suppressed, and that's putting it mildly.
That's why I do this show, and that's why I put it out for free.
For those of you who are able, please consider contributing to the show in any amount so we can keep it free
and maintain a forum where right-leaning,
honest, unfiltered comedy exists. Just click on the contribute button on your screen or go to
nickdip.com and click on the contribute button at the top. Thank you guys so much. Let's keep
this freedom fight going. guitar solo Good morning, my neighbors!
Hey, fuck you!
How's it going?
Monday, Monday.
What's up, folks?
Did you have a good weekend?
I did.
The weather's tremendous down here.
Tremendous.
It's like in the 80s during the day.
High 50s at night.
I love it.
Not a liberal in sight.
It's terrific. This town is fucking tremendous.
The old black ladies at the supermarket, they call me sweetie.
Cost me 50 bucks, but listen, that ain't the point now, yeah? Now look at here.
Ah, great weekend of sports, huh? Hey, Houston Astros, say bye-bye.
You got your one win that you shouldn't have got.
And then we batted you like a fucking Mexican housewife, did we not?
We didn't.
We hooked you up.
Now you're going to Fenway where we don't lose.
It's over.
It's over, Johnny.
It's not over. It's never over.'s over, Johnny. It's not over.
It's never over.
You don't just turn it up, you don't.
Talk about the Red Sox offense.
I'm not killing time right now
because I don't even remember how to do the show.
If I could open the weekend, I'd just lose it.
What did I do?
Oh, I was so busy laying on the couch, I would say,
from literally 10 a.m. to 2.30 a.m. Honest to God, paralysis. I'm talking Christopher Reeve.
Who's the scientist in the wheelchair? Hawking.
Hawking.
Any other paralyzed people I can think of?
FDR.
Didn't move.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry.
Hockey, playoff baseball, NFL, college football.
Tremendous.
Had a shitty week with the pool, though.
It was a little bit.
Fucked up a little bit.
No, you offended him a little bit.
Okay, let's get to, I don't know, what do we do for,
oh, we got a clip.
This is what happens with fucking asshole Joe Biden's mandates.
And this is what's happening to the salt of the earth.
The people he pretends, you know, he's a Scranton blue collar guy.
But here's what's happening because of his vaccination policies.
This is my final sign off. After 22 years of serving the citizens of the state of Washington,
being asked to leave because I am dirty.
Numerous fatalities, injuries, I've worked sick, I've played sick.
We buried lots of friends over these years.
I'd like to thank you guys. I'd like to thank the
Citizens of Yakima County as well as my fellow officers within the valley without you guys I would have been very successful and you've kept me safe and got me home to my family every night
Thank you for that
Wish I could say more but but this is it. So, State 1034,
this is the last time you'll hear me
in a State Patrol car.
And Jay Inslee can kiss my ass.
And Jay
Inslee can kiss my ass.
He's the liberal jerk-off
governor of the
state of Washington.
If you remember him during the debates,
just a fucking
dummy.
Just an asshole.
Everything that's in him. And this guy put in 22 years getting shot at, losing friends, you know.
But he doesn't want to have a drug put in him.
Forced by his government to take a drug that he doesn't want to take.
And okay, so fucking you're fired. Forget what you did
for us.
Are you happy?
You fucks. You ate people who voted
for Biden. And again, I know that's
falling on deaf ears because
none of you voted for Biden. If you did, get off my
TV channel.
Whatever the fuck.
Yeah. People like that
all over the... Matter of fact, today was a deadline for a lot of them.
So, can you imagine?
Isn't this perfect?
If you guys haven't caught on that this is all part of the plan.
Closed businesses, law and order out the window,
no bail, putting the fucking scumbag criminals back on the streets.
Now you call 911, you got no fucking help.
It's all part of the plan.
I don't know where we're going.
What is their fucking plan?
Even if you're a Marxist, what's your end goal here?
Buy guns, folks.
Never mind my pillow.
Pick up a nice glove and hide it under your my pillow
as a matter of fact
what is going on
I mean what's the end goal here
I know you want to replace
society as we know it in the United States
fucking
Haitian there's another truck coming
whatever the fuck
they don't have to be tested
some of them are some of them don't have to be tested.
Some of them are.
Some of them don't have to be tested for COVID.
But you do. You put 22 years in as a state trooper, and you have to quit if you don't take it.
Meanwhile, people breaking our fucking laws, coming over the border, nothing.
Do you understand how much fucking Biden and his scumbags despise us as a people?
Joe, may your prostate rot like a summer squash in February. You twat.
All right.
Let's move on.
In our N-word segment today,
Jim Lee, chief creative officer and publisher of DC Comics,
announced on Saturday,
Superman is officially moving on.
Moving on from the American way.
The Superman's new mission statement,
truth, justice, and a better tomorrow. Truth, justice,
a better tomorrow. Sound like hints on a $10,000 payment. Truth, justice, better tomorrow.
Things we'll never experience under Biden administration.
Hey, Jim, the only way tomorrow will be better is if you die in your sleep tonight. It's obviously just another globalist asshole who doesn't believe in
American exceptionalism, and you're playing to your new market, the woke assholes. I guess to
you, the American way is tantamount to being a racist, sexist, homophobic nation. The same garbage we hear from you America haters.
In a press statement,
the company said the decision
is meant to better reflect
the storylines that we are telling
across DC Comics
and to honor Superman's
incredible legacy
of over 80 years
of building a better,
why did he say building back
a better world?
You dink.
The adults, the adults, in my opinion,
who are into this superhero shit
are everything that's wrong with our country.
They're emotionally about, I'd say,
a seventh grade boy at best.
I grew out of all this childish Superman garbage shit
when my school bus ran over my Batman lunchbox
in the fourth grade.
I laughed my little hairless stones off and then I never looked back. I just don't get it. I'm embarrassed for you
when you're in low. Spider-Man's coming out. Try some pussy. Yeah, I was a strange little
boy. I like weird stuff. Girls, Tonka trucks, football, all the stuff little girls like
today. You're honoring his legacy by having Superman's son come out as bisexual
a couple weeks ago. Why don't you go all the way? Make him straight up gay. Yeah,
pussy could be his new kryptonite. He's as powerful as a locomotive, I mean a Chevy Volt,
able to leap tall retrofitted buildings in a single bound. How long before we take the word man out of Superman
because it's a symptom of the white patriarchy?
Superman was an American creation,
and you can't change that fact
no matter how much woke stink you put on it.
And that's the N-word tonight.
Could kind of come up as amending music or something.
Trumpets or... I don't know.
Glad I need a cigarette. Okay. Let's move on to a... boy this story really moves
me. You know Pete Buttigieg? Pete Buttigieg. There he is. I want
shitty pictures of people I hate.
He almost looks heterosexual there.
Pete Buttigieg defends, look it, my baby did a little poopoo.
Pete Buttigieg defends family leave.
Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg defended paid family leave Sunday after, by the way,
listen to the tone of the article, you can tell it was written by a lefty.
Family leave Sunday after Fox News host Tucker Carlson mocked, mocked him for taking paternity leave to care for his newborn twins.
Even when it's a heterosexual couple, the fucking husband goes to work.
So I guess you're the bottom.
Is that what it's telling us, Pete?
I just came up with that.
It was pretty fucking sexist and homophobic.
I hope they don't come after me.
When somebody welcomes a new child,
this is Buttigieg talking,
into their family and goes on leave
to take care of that child,
that's not a vacation.
It's work.
It's joyful, wonderful, fulfilling work.
But it is work, Buttigieg said on NBC's Meet the Press.
Please give me a call.
Guess what, folks?
There was no 12-minute edit there to get that to work.
Politico reported last week that Buttigieg had been on paid leave since mid-August
to spend time with his husband, Chasten, and their twin babies,
Penelope and Joseph.
I suck cock and I love it.
Yummy, yummy, yummy.
Oh, there they are.
There's the happy lovers.
Imagine Putin saying this and fucking belly laughing.
Here's the thing, Buttigieg.
Oh, Tucker got him back. Tucker goes like this, because Tucker got some flack, I guess, online, whatever. So he comes on,
he goes, I want to correct something we said about Buttigieg last. Apparently, he's not
a mediocre hack who's a product of his own culture. He went on to insult him and say,
like, you know, it was so well done. Apparently, he's a, he'll cut you to ribbons with his tongue, Tugger.
Anyhow, but the thing is, Mr. Buttigieg, you're the transportation secretary.
Last time I checked, there's a thousand ships all over the world backed up.
That's kind of important right now.
So put your titty back in your blouse and get to work.
kind of important right now. So put your titty back in your blouse and get to work.
On Thursday, Carlson said Pete Buttigieg has been on leave from his job since August after adopting a child, paternity leave they call it, trying to figure out how to breastfeed.
No word on how that went, he said. Not long afterward, many people came to Buttigieg's
defense because we live in a world that just is living in fucking la-la land.
They came to his defense, including White House press secretary, the best professional liar ever, Jen Psaki,
who tweeted that she is proud to work in an administration that is fighting to make paid leave a reality for everyone, and with people like at Secretary Pete,
who are role models on the importance of paid leave for new parents.
You get that little red beaver right up there in front of you,
I don't think it's crazy at all.
So, again, Mr. Buttigieg, all due no respect.
Again, the. Buttigieg, all due no respect. Again, you're the transportation secretary.
You know, trucks and stuff and trains and, you know, how the groceries and everything in the world moves by trucks and shit.
You're home fucking probably sniffing your kid's diaper.
I don't like it.
They got twins, by the way.
Good for you guys.
Terrific.
I don't like it.
They got twins, by the way.
Good for you guys.
Terrific.
I can't tell you, when I lived in Westchester County, New York,
I'd go out into the woods.
There's a nice, there's a giant pond that you can walk around.
It's nice, you know.
And I would see fucking four or five times a week guys,
two guys pushing a straw over the baby.
What's that?
Is there nothing wrong with that, Nick?
Why don't you progress a little bit?
Who's going to stand on that wall?
You, Buttigieg?
Oh, God help us.
Let's move on to another fruit cup.
Don Lemon doubles down on ivermectin remarks.
CNN anchor Donnie Lemon came to the defense of his network after Joey Rogan accused it of lying about medication
the podcast giant used to treat his COVID.
We all know Don Lemon.
He's a terrific guy, isn't he?
He's a fan.
Oh, that's got nothing to do with it.
Come on now.
Lemon was following up on criticism of CNN that Rogan had made on his podcast during
a three-hour interview with Network's chief medical correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
I'm about, I think I'm more qualified than this guy.
I don't trust doctors that go on TV.
You know, like, what's his name?
Fucking Fauci. I don't trust doctors that go on TV. You know, like, what's his name?
Fucking Fauci.
I don't trust him.
In a clip that went viral, Gupta was grilled by Rogan about CNN's coverage of his use of ivermectin after he was diagnosed with COVID, which he says he recovered from it in five days.
Cinco dÃas.
Dios.
I don't know.
Anyways, here's the clip.
Horse dewormer is not a flattering thing.
I get that. It's a lie.
It's a lie on a news network.
And it's a lie that's a willing, that's a lie that they're conscious of.
It's not a mistake.
Yeah.
Yes, Joe.
Sort of like the whole Russian gate thing.
When Trump was in office and I came on your show,
and I said, what about the Steele dossier? And you said, what was that? And you started pulling
up Washington Post clips of how many times Trump had lied, and you guys went to CNN on numerous
clips. So I'm glad to see, and I love that Joe Rogan's show is so big that he's pointing this out,
and there's zillions of people who will see it.
If you guys don't know that CNN is just a propaganda arm for the DNC,
you're fucking retarded.
You deserve to live in a shithole.
CNN was a—oh, go ahead.
I don't want to cut off Joe.
Favorably framing it as veterinary medicine.
Well, the FDA put this thing out.
You saw that.
Did you see that thing that the FDA put out?
What did the FDA put out?
It was a tweet.
It was snarky.
I admit it.
They said, you are not a horse.
You are not a cow.
Stop taking this stuff or something like that.
Why would you say that when you're talking about a drug that's been given out to billions
and billions of people, a drug that was responsible for one of the inventors of it winning the Nobel Prize in 2015.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Gupta.
Why would your network say that?
Why would you work for a network that says that?
They are lying cocksuckers.
Don Lemon, literally.
Liars!
So is MSNBC.
So is NBC. So is all the legacy news as we call it.
CNN was among many critics of the Joe Rogan experience host taking the drug,
first of all, who gives a fuck, which has been approved for use in humans and
animals for treating parasites.
Did you see the words humans in there? The Food and Drug Administration
and the Center for Disease Control and Prevention
have warned that it should not be taken to treat COVID.
And we know they don't have an agenda, the CDC, do they?
Fucking kidding me?
Fauci is the face of the earth.
You need to shut the fuck up.
Who? Me? Gupta? Fauci? Who are you talking about?
During a segment in September after Rogan revealed his diagnosis on Instagram,
CNN described ivermectin as a horse dewormer.
And CNN host Anderson Cooper, seen here looking at a pair of tits,
said the drug was something more often used to deworm horses.
Rogan confronted Gupta over the description, saying he had been medically prescribed the drug and that they're lying at your network about people taking human drugs versus drugs for veterinary purposes. During the tense exchange, Gupta threw some stuff, spicy
food in Joe's face. No. Anything for a stereotype to Jim. During the tense
exchange, Gupta accepted that his network shouldn't have said that, but will be
back to work to collect his paycheck nonetheless. But Lemon doubled down on his network's description because he's a dumb
fucking
guzzler of goo.
He doubled down on his network's description
of Ivan Maknik during a segment with Gupta
on Thursday as he rejected
Rogan's
criticism. This is a guy who can't
even get a million people to watch his shit
show. But you go
ahead, Donnie.
Go ahead.
Big girl.
So very important.
I know it's in large part a tongue-in-cheek interview, you know,
because it's Joe Rogan and there's lots of, you're jockeying back and forth.
Pause.
That's how you know he's gay.
He's actually, he's catty about Rogan.
You know it's tongue-in-cheek because it's Joe Rogan.
Even though I'm on TV and Rogan's show crushes me into a fine
powder, you can tell he's a little, you know what I mean, catty? Oh, with a tongue and cheek. What
the fuck does that mean? How about a dick and cheek? That's all you, oh, Nick, stop. I can't
help myself. Oh, go ahead. He did say something about ivermectin that I think wasn't actually correct about CNN and lying.
OK, doctor, ivermectin is a drug that is commonly used as a horse dewormer.
So it is not a lie to say that the drug is used as a horse dewormer.
I think that's important. And it is not approved for COVID. Correct? Yes, by corrupt organizations, you dumb
fuck. How can he be on TV? Yeah, the CDC hasn't got anything wrong. Why don't you quote the World
Health Organization, who works hand in hand with China, who started all this horseshit?
You dizzy bitch. Gupta replied that, that's correct.
It is not a proof of COVID.
And he then referred to a tweet on August 21st by the FDA against taking ivermectin,
even though it's helped how many thousands of people?
Even there's doctors and nurses on there.
But Don Lemon knows better.
What's the 20, August 21st by the FDA against taking ivermectin, which said, you are not
a horse.
And Don Lemon said, how do you know?
You haven't seen me with my pants off.
You are not a horse.
This is a quote from, you are not a cow.
Seriously, I'll stop it.
That was from what?
The CDC? Yep. And they said y'all in the
quote? So is it a black dude or a fucking redneck? Y'all stop it. Lemon interjected it has been
approved for humans, but not necessarily for COVID. That's correct, Gupta continued. Yet Joe
took it and was fine. And so is a zillion other people. But let's not go Gupta continued. Yet Joe took it and was fine and so was a zillion other people.
But let's not, you know, go by empirical evidence.
It has been used for a parasitic disease.
I can't believe it hasn't killed Don Lemon.
Referring to river blindness.
What the hell is that?
Dallas, you must know that.
Do you know what it is?
Oh, all right.
River blindness.
Was that named after River Phoenix?
And it's been very effective for that.
But, you know, just because it works for one thing doesn't mean it works for something else.
Listen to how hard they are trying.
You're lying.
And you're a piece of shit.
Gupta said that while there were still
ongoing clinical trials around ivermectin,
for the most part, if you look at the data,
there is no evidence that it really works here.
What?
So you...
Joe Rogan pointed out on his show to you
face-to-face that your network lied.
You agreed.
They shouldn't have said that.
Then you go on your network
and Don Lemon on your network,
and Don Lemon, your friend, tries to patch it up because you got your ass handed to you on Rogan,
and you lie again. When Joe gets sick, he took ivermectin. He also took monoclonal antibodies, Gupta said, referring to the number of treatments that Rogan revealed he had taken.
It's very likely it was monoclonal antibodies that made him feel better so quickly, Goop.
Yeah, maybe.
Newsweek has contacted Rogan for comment.
Joe said, why don't you kiss my ivermectin till you get a mama?
Isn't that great?
Isn't that great?
A guy who pretends to be a doctor on CNN gets his ass handed to him,
and so they have to have him on his own where he's comfortable lying at CNN. Hey, guys,
I will be back. I don't think you can guess the state where I'm doing comedy.
Let's put it this way. A lot of kids go to spring break down there.
Every episode of Cops comes from there.
You probably got VD there in the 80s at a place called the Elbow Room.
Hey, guys, I'll be back in Florida at the end of the month.
I'm going to be doing four shows at the Visani Comedy Theater, Port Charlotte, Florida, on October 28th, 29th, and 30th.
You know, I had a great time.
I always do when I go to Florida. And I'm looking forward to these shows. They're going to be great.
If you live in Port Charlotte or Venice, Naples, Tuscany, or Fort Myers, make plans to come out.
Also, I'll be back at the Plaza Hotel and Casino in Vegas, November 12th and 13th.
I've been reading this one for about six months going, that is way far away.
I believe that's about a month from now, which is creepy.
The 12th and 13th, just added dates early next year in upstate New York,
in New Jersey on Long Island.
Get tickets to all my shows at nickdip.com and click on the tour button. Hope to see you out
there. All right. No, no, no, no! In our FLA segment tonight, Florida suspect's sister helped police ID him. The bitch snitched.
And we all be glad.
The sister of a suspect accused of breaking into a Florida home Wednesday night
and undoing his shorts while a family member slept
helped identify him before his arrest late Thursday, according to reports.
late Thursday, according to reports. Thomas Marnetz, 52, was arrested after allegedly escaping from the home in Holiday, Florida. Jesus Christ, how many towns in Florida?
What? Is that, is it Hollywood? Not, I mean, Holiday, Florida? Is that right? His sister and several others sent in tips to police on home surveillance video of the
alleged break-in that was made public on Fox 13 of Tampa.
His employer also sent in a tip.
I'm guessing this guy everybody thought was kind of a creep.
Detectives found Marnette at a motel and arrested him for burglary, but he denied stealing anything from
the home other than 12 pair of panties from a four-year-old that he was wearing. No, I just
threw that in, folks. He was wearing the same clothes in the video because he's fucking retarded,
authorities said. Marnetz allegedly walked into a nine-year-old girl's bedroom.
She said, get out of my room, you sick cunt.
What a deep voice for a little girl
as her head spun around three times.
Walked out, undid his shorts,
and then went back in.
So I guess he liked what he saw.
What a sick fuck.
That's what the video appears to show.
We got the video.
It doesn't show, but just look at this creep.
La, la, la, la.
Hiya, Pam. Are you home? Hello?
Let me go in here.
That's a nice ass. Let me undo my pants and come back out and make sure I get busted.
Ugh, you creep.
Look at this guy.
He looks all disheveled and confused.
I don't know. Do I want to go back to the can?
God, disgusting.
The girl's parents, Jacqueline Isinga and Daniel Rolls,
were awakened by the dog and the suspect ran away in full view.
You think your fucking relatives
aren't going to recognize you?
Get out of here, you sick prick!
How fucked up...
It's the middle of the night,
you're in somebody's house.
That was like a stranger's house.
Did I get there?
Yeah.
It's a stranger's house.
It's the middle of the night.
How do you, first of all,
you try locking your doors there in Holiday, Florida?
How do you get in?
Well, I've been seeing her for a couple years.
She left a key under the mat.
La, la, la.
Now this guy, we could have used this fella in the last story.
A man trained in MMA fights carjackers.
Three men who tried to carjack a man by hitting him with a wooden stick.
So apparently they're using the latest shit in crime technology.
A wooden stick.
shit in crime technology. A wooden stick. Outside in any time fitness, we're forced to flee when the potential victim fought back using his training in mixed martial arts. Bruce Buffer. No.
In this corner, three black guys. Anyways, he uses mixed martial arts and one of the suspects
didn't know how to drive a manual transmission.
Deputies with the Stafford County Sheriff's Office were called to the gym at 25 Tech Parkway
for a disturbance just before 5 p.m. Tuesday.
Remember when guys used to wait till it got dark to do shit like that?
Multiple callers reported three men had attacked the man in an attempt to steal his car.
The three men hit the man several times, but the victim fought back, according to deputies,
because he knew his, you know, his fucking, what do you call it, his martial arts shit.
because he knew his, you know, his fucking, what do you call it?
His martial arts shit.
One of the suspects eventually got hold of the man's car keys and jumped in the car, but was stymied because the car's manual transmission.
He had no clue how to drive it because, you know, again,
eventually more people inside the gym rushed out to thwart the attempted carjacking.
All three suspects were eventually able to get back in their vehicle and leave the scene because it was an automatic.
Deputies learned the suspects were driving a white Acura sedan with Mississippi plates.
So I said, oh, my God, I don't want to be racist.
I'm guessing it's young black fellas.
That's considered racist now, when you put two and two together and know it's four.
They were quickly spotted by a deputy who attempted to pull the car over on Garrisonville
Road near I-95. Instead, stopping, the suspects took off and headed northbound on I-95,
knowing they'll be on the new episode of Cops on Fox.
Who's with me?
There's something wrong with the black man's mind.
Tighten up.
There's something wrong with his mind.
The pursuit reached a speed of 98 miles per hour, deputies said.
You know why?
Because it was in automatic.
You know why? Because it was an automatic.
Near the mile mark of 145, the suspects entered the HOV lanes by crashing through the barrier and began driving northbound
while traffic was heading southbound.
Now they're putting other people's lives in danger,
and, you know, the suspects eventually stopped on their own about two miles later.
No crashes happened, and no injuries were reported.
From there, the men bailed and took off on foot,
because the brothers can run like a 4-3-40,
into the wooded area, being chased by a fat white car.
No, median between the HOV lanes and the southbound lanes of the interstate.
I think your brain is going soft.
No, they don't got no brains.
Stafford County deputies,
Virginia State Police,
and Quantico PMO
set up a perimeter around the area.
K-9 Titan,
that's a dog named Titan.
Look at that sucker right there.
And his handler,
Sergeant B.U. DiMerci,
were able to track the suspects
through heavy brush
and found three men.
They were told to give up
or the K-ine would be deployed.
Two of the men complied like the bitches that they is.
The third suspect incorrectly judged his own speed or canine Titan, and attempted to run away. This attempt was futile
as canine Titan was released
and sacked him on the five-yard
line for a 41-yard loss.
Apprehended the suspect within
50 yards. That's what the cops said.
The suspects were, and this is where I said,
I don't know, I'm just going to go with black
suspect. I didn't know, I didn't see the pictures,
but now you can.
Suspects were identified as 19-year-old
Jabez Clark, 18-year-old Corey with a K, Richardson, and 20-year-old Jacob Land. That's the one I had
problems with. But here they are, again, all heading to MIT next year on scholarship. Clark
is charged with carjacking, robbery, conspiracy, malicious, wounding, assault, vandalism, and possession of burglary.
He'll be out, you know, they'll probably bail him out tonight.
Kamala will get on the phone.
Richardson is charged with carjacking, robbery, conspiracy, eluding, reckless driving, and hit and run.
Land is charged with carjacking, robbery, conspiracy, vandalism, and a dog shit haircut.
That's another four years.
Look at these motherless fucks.
I should say fatherless.
Just out there.
Just committing all kinds of stuff.
How dare they?
How dare they?
Ladies and gentlemen, listen up.
If you don't have a Nick DiPaolo show T-shirt or hat or evening gown, mug, pick up one now.
Make sure to go to nickdip.com and click on store to pick up a shirt or a mug or a hat.
Then send us a photo of your hot wife or girlfriend wearing the t-shirt.
Could you do that?
Dallas requested that.
Very lonely up in here.
Now look at hell.
All right.
It's Monday.
I have a weird rhythm.
This stupid program with my sound drops on it for some reason,
when I touch them, I don't know.
This is brand new.
What do these cost, $300, $350?
It's going to be smashed when I get out in the parking lot.
I don't even care if it's that. It's probably the program's fault. I just need to break something.
Other than my puppy's leg.
In our RTR segment tonight. There are white niggers.
I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. Watch him out,
bird.
Listen to this.
This is one.
This one got me.
Reverse the races segment.
Museum fires, all of it's mostly white.
How do you pronounce that word?
I forgot to look it up.
Docents.
Docents.
Docents.
Okay?
Not descendants.
Docents.
That's even worse. What the fuck is docents, T? Not for nothing docents. That's even worse.
The fuck is docents, T?
Not for nothing.
Went to the library, there's a bunch of spugs working in there.
So the museum fired all its mostly white docents.
That's terrific.
Wake up, white people. The Art Institute of Chicago fired all of its trained volunteers and guides last month
who were mostly older white women.
Why? To diversify its team.
That's what I think of that.
We were surprised.
Listen to this.
Is this as mad as you can get, white lady?
We were surprised.
We were disappointed.
as you can get, white lady.
We were surprised we were disappointed.
Gigi Vefas, president of the Docent Council,
said in an interview with radio station WBEZ of the firings,
really?
You sound outraged.
We got a little upset.
We didn't think it was fair.
I mean, you know.
There's an army of very highly skilled docents
that are willing and ready and able to continue
with arts education.
The Art Institute used to have more than 100 docents, 82 of whom were active until an executive
director of learning and engagement, Veronica Stein.
There she is.
I hit this.
This, I prejudged her name.
Get this through your head, you
Jew motherfucker, you.
That was very unfair of me.
Look at this dumb, racist
bitch. I'll say it again
real slow. Dumb, racist,
whitey-hating bitch
with a dumb haircut.
It's like
a Palomino shit on her head.
It's sliding down her fucking braces, cunt.
Sent an email on September 3rd firing them all.
The Wall Street Journal reported.
But, you know, nobody's upset here.
Nothing.
Nobody's going to push back.
We deserve what we get.
Docents are trained volunteers who lead tours of museums.
And at the Art Institute, they average 15 years of unpaid service.
Just 15 years of putting in your own time, and there you go.
So prejudice, racism, whatever you want to call it, is legal.
The fire, if it's a white person being the victim of it,
because that proves to, here's
the big message, okay, because they're applying the law unequally to white people today, which
proves what?
This isn't about reconciliation and making the world a better place.
It's about retribution.
It always has been.
Don't let anybody fucking tell you otherwise.
The firings were apparently sparked by the fact that most of the docent staff was
composed of older, white, financially well-off women. We'd rather have young black kids who
came out of a fucking alternative school with a record as long as their arm working at the
art institute, whatever the fuck it is. Stein said the museum needed to take a new path
in a way that allows community members of all income levels to participate.
Response to issues of class and income equity and does not require financial flexibility.
Just psychobabble horseshit that means absolutely nothing.
Shut your fucking mouth!
Shut the fuck up, you cunt!
Defied docents were offered a two year free pass to the museum and a five dollar gift
certificate to Arby's as gratitude for their previous service.
When the old ladies were asked what they thought of that, they said in unison,
Fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you.
The Institute is one of America's oldest and largest racist museums, with its docent program
launching in 1961 as part of an initiative of the Women's Board and the Junior League of Chicago.
Why not invest, this is a quote, why not invest some time in recruiting new diverse
docents? Why not grow the Corps in such a way that it's refreshed? Why not help docents who
need help with expenses or childcare? Why not have a, because everything's not
a government fucking handout. That's why not. And it's racist, you dummy. Why not have a hybrid
model, at least until the current docents accept, you know, can we get Whitey out of the way? You
know, the people who made this thing successful for the last fucking 60 years can we get these old bitches out of the way in the name of we're victims it's our turn fuck you the board wrote
in its september 27th opinion piece what a sickening story wow that was three season one
story i might over did it as you can, it got to me. I got very emotional.
Finally tonight on Fuck the Press,
female crime writer revealed to be three men.
I'm going to rip through this.
It was very amusing.
Spain's literary world has been thrown into chaos after a coveted book prize was awarded to Carmen Mola,
an acclaimed female thriller writer who turned
out to be the pseudonym of three men. That's them. They ain't no bitch. They pulled a fast
one. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? They were pretending to be a female, and I'm
sure everybody got like television television scriptwriters.
I love these guys.
Augustin Martinez, Jorge Diaz, and Antonio Massero.
I tell you, the Diaz brothers.
Antonio Massero, shock guest who included Spain's King Felipe in Queen Letizia at the Planeta Awards Friday
when they took to the stage to pick up the prize money and reveal the celebrated crime author
did not actually exist.
I love it.
Oh, what a blow to the women's egos.
On the website for Mola's agent,
the writer who has been compared
to Italy's esteemed novelist,
Elena Ferrante,
who I love her shit,
is described as a Madrid-born author writing under a pseudonym in a bid to remain anonymous. The description for Mola on the
website also contains a series of photographs of an unknown woman looking away from the camera.
That's Lori Lightfoot. Catching the morning bus.
In previous interviews with the Spanish media,
Martinez, Dias, and Mercedes had presented Mola as a female university professor who lived in Madrid
with her husband and children.
Mola's novels usually revolve around the character
of Detective Elena Bianco, or Blanco, I'm sorry,
I can't, my eyes, described by publisher Penguin Random House,
oh, you get fooled, too, as a peculiar and lonely woman, and the lover of grappa,
karaoke, collectors, cars, and sex in SUVs. Good for this fake broad.
She's a little whore.
Leave her be.
And a little piece of trash.
No, she isn't. However, the book that won the Planeta Prize was not a story featuring Blanco.
It is a historic thriller called The Beast, set during a cholera epidemic in 1834,
centers around a serial killer who was hunted down by a journalist, a policeman, and a young woman.
The Mola novels are well known for being gory and graphic,
and Spanish media has noted in the past that the contrast between Mola novels are well known for being gory and graphic, and Spanish media has noted in
the past that the contrast between Mola's supposed life as a married university professor
and the violent nature of the books served as a useful marketing tool.
In an interview with the real authors following the revelation, if they stop belly laughing,
Spain's El Mundo newspaper reported, it is not lost on anyone that the idea of a university professor
and mother of three who teaches algebra classes in the morning
and in the afternoon, writes novels of savage and macabre violence,
has been a good marketing operation.
Don't give me that smart-alecky shit.
The news stunned many fellow literary figures,
and not everyone is thrilled about the news.
Beatrice Gimeno, who described herself as a writer and a feminist.
Ha ha!
Oh, there she is.
How you doing, Mr. Gimeno?
Writer and feminist, and who was once the director of the Women's Institute, key national
equality body in Spain, took to Twitter to criticize Martinez, Diaz, and Mercera.
In a tweet, Jimeno said,
beyond using a female pseudonym,
these guys have spent years doing interviews.
It's not just the name, it's the fake profile
they've used to take in readers and journalist scammers, she said.
My vagina's angry.
It is.
It's pissed off.
Yeah, but how about your penis?
Is that angry too?
Get out of the way!
Then I'm a killing god!
That's it, folks.
I've had enough.
And half of it's this piece of shit.
That is it for Monday.
We're glad you came along for the show.
Don't forget thecomicsgym.com.
That's the permanent home of this show.
We put a lot of work and money into it.
We're trying to make it back.
And don't forget
nickdip.com
if you want to get tickets.
And don't forget
cameo.com if you'd like me to roast
a friend or relative. Go to cameo.com.
Click on my profile. I will make a minute, minute and a half video like me to roast a friend or relative. Go to Cameo.com, click on my profile.
I will make a minute, minute and a half video on my phone
roasting your friend or relative.
It's a lot of fun.
That is it for Monday.
Enjoy the Red Sox tonight.
Enjoy Monday night football.
You guys think it, I'll say it.
You're very welcome.
See you back here tomorrow.
Take care. guitar solo I'm out.