The Nick DiPaolo Show - Shithead Schumer and Puto Pelosi
Episode Date: January 10, 2019The Dumb And Dumber Show. Masculinity Makeover. More Partial Footage of Racial Incidents. Masculinity Saves Female Cop....
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Der frische Geschmack von Kiri mit Guter Milch. Oh, how are you folks?
Welcome to the show.
Yeah, these are a little loud.
Tess, one, two. Tess, no, too low.
Jesus, you guys have a fucking heavy hand.
Up a little bit. Up some more. Right there. All right. Fuck it.
How are you, folks? Welcome to the big show.
833-599-NICK. 833-599-6425.
On a filthy Wednesday.
Tomorrow is the 100th episode.
Is that right?
It's not today.
Is it?
Well, Priscilla told me it was tomorrow.
Is today?
What's the date today?
Today's the 9th.
Ah, my sister's ass.
Today is the 100th episode
of the Nick DiPaolo podcast on Patreon.
We started July 9th.
That is correct.
So, yay to me and yay to you.
She had something planned, Priscilla.
No?
All right.
We should get too much on our hands.
Hey, big shout out to Kevin McArdle.
Big fat donation I don't even know if he's a subscriber or whatnot but a big fat
donation Kevin you always had heavy cash pretty sure you're working for El
Chapo's brother Kevin Chapo thank you so much it It's Wednesday means we're streaming live on Facebook.
We'll do it live.
YouTube and fucking.
We'll do it live.
Fucking.
All the other things.
Do it live.
I want all of you to enjoy your cake.
I will.
It's the 100th anniversary.
I will enjoy.
Okay.
You've got to get mad.
God damn it.
You've got to say, I'm a human being.
God damn it.
My life has value.
I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take this anymore.
Oh, this is fucking gay.
I said clear shit like this with me before you do it.
What the fuck is this?
Great, nobody can see it.
It's a cake.
I have a small Japanese woman because I'm doing a boxing diet.
She makes shit like this.
This is filled with celery, by the way.
It's a celery cake.
Ain't it beautiful?
That's right, 100 episodes.
Thank you, supporters out
there. We couldn't do it without you.
You know, the problem is, I'm always
celebrating shit like this.
Connect Pal, I did about 400, and then
we jumped somewhere else. I can't take it
anymore. I'm 50 fucking, I'll be 57
in a few days. Can we goddamn
stick to something?
Honest to fucking God,
I get gray pubes.
Got a muff like Barbara Bush down there.
I mean, well, she's gone.
Well, it's not important.
Look at that beautiful cake.
It's all celery.
Want to take that?
Yeah.
What?
Speak.
Has my logo.
Has my logo.
Those Japanese are fucking crazy.
Look at that.
I'm sure that's,
that logo, that's made out of carrots.
Carrots and beets.
Can you imagine?
These Japs, I'll tell you.
Give it back to Priscilla.
It's a special show.
It's so special I have to read this off paper.
It's the six-month anniversary of the Nick DiPaolo Show and 100th episode.
I want to thank you guys for watching, listening, calling in, giving me handjobs, super chatting, helping us build the show. I want to
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Seriously, I'd kiss you if I didn't have AIDS.
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Bunny who monitors the chats, trims the videos, helps with spreadsheets.
I didn't even know we had spreadsheets.
Researching new ideas.
Bass Texan, who makes the ads for the show.
And my gorgeous cousin.
My gorgeous wife, Priscilla.
She's as talented as her tits.
She woke up with a zit in her forehead,
and I looked at it.
I like to make her self-conscious,
so I stared at it, and she goes,
it's not that noticeable, is it?
And I said, it's not that noticeable,
but which of your eight arms are you going to use
to jerk me off?
She oversees the whole team.
To celebrate,
we've created a special code
at nickdip.com
for you guys to buy
a Nick DiPaolo show hat
or shirt at 25% off
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Jesus.
That's like when you check
into a hotel,
they go,
we have a continental breakfast from 5 a.m. to 5.02 a.m.
Would you like to join us?
No, I don't need a fucking 12-year-old corn muffin, you dink.
The promo code is NickDip100.
So hit up the NickDip store and enter NickDip100 at the checkout,
and you will save that kind of cash,
and you can spend that on your whores.
All right, we get it.
Get back in your cage, you fucking big girl.
Only a fucking gay guy would like confetti that much.
Where's your salsa bottle, you big dink?
Though, April, Kevin, we already thank you, McArdle.
I'll be at the Fat Black Pussycat
in exactly two and a half hours from now
in New York City if you're in the area, I have to rush into the city.
I work hard for you people.
I appreciate your support, but Jesus H.
Friday, January 11th, Lucy's in Pleasantville.
That's this Friday night.
And this Saturday night, Fairfield Theater, Fairfield Company, Fairfield, Connecticut.
Saturday, January 19th, Bobby V's, Windsor Locks, Connecticut.
Friday, January 25th, Comedy Palace.
It says C-A-W.
Is that a joke?
You guys are fucking hilarious.
San Diego, California.
Joe Rogan show on the morning of the 25th.
Tune in for that.
Powerhouse show.
And that Sunday, January 27th,
Ventura Horror Comedy Club, Ventura, California. Friday and Saturday, September, February 8th and 9 Sunday, January 27th, Ventura Horror Comedy Club, Ventura, California.
Friday and Saturday, September, February 8th and 9th,
The Black Box in Bogarton, Florida.
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Saturday, March 9th, Coho's Hall in Coho's, New York.
I'm going to be shooting an hour
and I might just put that out there.
I don't even...
Friday, April 26th, Steel Stacks, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
Friday, May 34th, The Jonath in a gunk with maine saturday june 1 whites of westport westport mass saturday august 10th newtown theater newtown pennsylvania saturday october 19th ridgefield
playhouse ridgefield connecticut go to nick dip the dotcom for all that yahwee.
What's going on?
Well, Trump gave the big, hey, I want a wall, you fuckfaces,
and gave a good, concise, quick speech.
I wish when he gave a speech he didn't talk to us like we were severely retarded seven-year-olds.
He reads three words a fucking minute and a half.
You can pick up the pace, Trump.
You know I love you, but Jesus H. Christ.
This is from USA Today, which is not exactly a right-leaning publication.
President Trump's efforts to halt migrant caravans and limit asylum have not deterred Central American minors,
great, great future for this country, and members of their families from rushing towards the U.S.,
according to data released by U.S. Customs and Border Protection on Wednesday. Border Patrol
agents apprehended, get this, get this number, 27,518 members of family units in December,
and 518 members of family units in December.
The highest monthly total on record.
But it's a manufacture crisis, right?
Pelosi and Schumer, you fucking guzzlers of dirty cum.
That figure has steadily been climbing now for five months,
even as Trump made stopping migrant caravans the centerpiece of his midterm election.
His dumb and dumber,
fucking Pelosi
and Schumer
fucking shithead Schumer and
puto Pelosi. Good evening.
Wait a minute. The fuck?
The beginning of it looks like
an SNL sketch. It was the most awkward
Let me tell you about Democrats.
They stink in front of the camera.
They're scared shitless of everything except fucking high taxes and open borders. But Nancy Pelosi has the eyes of a woman who stabbed her husband and cut his dick off while he was napping. Psychotic. But here's Pelosi and Schumer rebutting the president's speech for the wall. And here it is.
the president's speech for the wall. And here it is.
Good evening. I appreciate the opportunity to speak directly to the American people tonight.
You're welcome, Boar. We can end this shutdown and meet the needs of the American people.
Sadly, much of what we heard from President Trump throughout this census shutdown
has been full of misinformation.
Pause. Really? What misinformation? I'm going to bring up statistics in a few minutes, you lying
liberal whore. You and him have been in Congress for over 50 years and we're still in this mess.
So what have you done previously? Go ahead.
The president has chosen fear. We want to start with the facts.
The fact is, on the very first day of this Congress,
House Democrats passed Senate Republican legislation
to reopen government.
Oh, thank Christ.
Pause.
Thank Christ I can get into the Smithsonian and buy a...
What do you call those things you shake up?
A snow globe of George Washington taking a dump.
Look at Schumer.
If you made a fucking villain, if you made a villain in a movie, would that not be the face?
Look at him.
He's reading along with her.
Go ahead, dummy from San Francisco.
Border security solutions.
But the president is rejecting these bipartisan bills, which would reopen government.
Fuck the government.
Over his obsession with forcing American taxpayers to waste billions of dollars on an expensive and ineffective wall.
A wall he always promised Mexico would pay for.
And they will. Let them do it, you fool.
The fact is, President Trump has chosen to hold hostage critical services for the health, safety, and well-being of the American people.
Oh, is that right?
And withhold the paychecks of $800,000. Oh, is that right?
Pause.
$800,000.
Who eventually will be paid?
You lying dink.
This is all about a power grab. You need the brown vote for the next 100 years, and you're not fooling anybody.
There were even liberals making fun of this rebuttal last night.
Look at Schumer.
He's about to stab a baby in the head with a pencil.
Go ahead. Innocent workers across the nation, many of them veterans. He promised to keep government
shut down for months or years. Oh, no. It hurts. That's just plain wrong. The fact is,
we all agree we need to secure our borders. Pause. Pause. We all agree. You don't agree,
you dink. By the way, let me just say this before I forget. They just had a meeting a couple hours ago. Trump had a meeting with these same fools. And he said this. Trump walked out of the meeting. He said it was a waste of time. This is what his proposal was. They said, well, if you open the government, well, but we can talk. He said, OK, I'll open the government. If you promise in 30 days
we can talk about not a wall,
not a barrier,
not steel slats, if we can talk about border
security. That's what it said on the news
today. And they said no.
So, you're full of fucking
shit. Go ahead.
Our values. We can build
the infrastructure and roads at our ports of entry.
We can install new technology
to scan cars and trucks for drugs coming into our nation.
I'll build a ramp up to your asshole and drive a Lionel up in there.
We can fund more innovation to detect unauthorized crossings.
Shut it.
The fact is, women and children at the border are not a security threat.
They are a humanitarian challenge.
Tell that to Officer Singh. Oh, you can't. He's dead. Killed by an illegal.
Tell that to his wife and his little baby. There's so much evidence.
I just want to stick my thumbs in there. Fucking Adam's apples. Both of them. Go ahead.
A challenge that President Trump's own cruel and counterproductive policies have only deepened.
And the fact is, President Trump must stop holding the American people hostage,
must stop manufacturing a crisis, and must reopen the government.
Pause.
You know what's manufactured?
You making a big deal about the government being closed.
That's manufactured.
I get the guy who wrote The Art of the Deal, the deal maker in business history against these two slobs my money's still on trump and but this whole thing about well if
he doesn't win here if he backs down on blinks he won't win in 2020 i don't buy i don't buy that
shit either you're not gonna vote for trump he already crushed fucking isis he turned the economy
around on a dime it's the best it's ever been. So you're not going to vote
for him because of this?
I don't believe that. That's what
they believe, the dumb and dumber people.
Go ahead.
Thank you, Speaker Pelosi.
Thank you, Dracula.
My fellow Americans, we address you tonight
for one reason only.
The President of the United States,
having failed to get Mexico
to pay for his ineffective,
unnecessary border wall,
and unable to convince the Congress
or the American people to foot the bill,
has shut down the government.
American democracy
doesn't work that way.
We don't govern by temper tantrum.
No president should pound
the table and demand he gets his way
or else the government shuts down,
hurting millions of Americans
who are treated as leverage.
Tonight and throughout this debate
and throughout his presidency,
President Trump has appealed to fear,
not facts, division, not unity.
Make no mistake, Democrats and the president not facts. Division, not unity. No, you're projecting Dracula.
Make no mistake. Democrats and the president both want stronger border security.
However, we sharply disagree with the president about the most effective way to do it.
Look at Pelosi, sucking on a lemon.
So, how do we untangle this mess?
Well, there's an obvious solution.
Fucking shooting you in the stomach.
Separate the shutdown from arguments over border security.
Pause.
Wow, let's fall for that from Schumer from Brooklyn.
Let's separate the two.
You open the government and then we'll talk.
Who's holding who hostage?
You think he's that fucking stupid?
Go ahead.
There is bipartisan legislation supported by Democrats and Republicans
to reopen government
while allowing debate over border security to continue.
There is no excuse for hurting millions of Americans over a policy difference.
Pause. Millions of Americans aren't being hurt.
800,000 employees of the government are having their checks delayed.
OK. Oh, some TSA people are walking out.
Good.
I feel safer already.
You mean the TSA, the last time, the last three times they tested them,
we were able to smuggle guns in 95% of the time?
That TSA's walk?
Good.
Go to Wendy's and McDonald's and you can replace them.
Go ahead, shit face.
Federal workers are about to miss a paycheck.
Oh, no! Some families can't get are about to miss a paycheck. Oh no!
Families can't get a mortgage to buy a new home.
Good.
Farmers and small businesses won't get loans they desperately need.
Oh, you care about farmers now, do you?
Most presidents have used Oval Office addresses for noble purposes. This president just used
the backdrop of the Oval Office to manufacture a crisis, stoke fear, and divert
attention from the turmoil in his administration. Again, I'm going to bring up statistics. You can
talk to the 4,000 Americans over the last two years that were killed by illegals. That's a
manufactured thing, huh? Chuck, you fucking lying. You can't handle the truth!
Go ahead.
My fellow Americans, there is no challenge so great that our nation cannot rise to meet it.
We can reopen the government and continue to work through disagreements over policy.
Religion.
We can secure our border without an ineffective, expensive wall.
And we can welcome legal immigrants and refugees without...
So the Border Patrol people have been on TV for the last year saying walls work everywhere.
Not just in this country.
They work everywhere.
Why do you have one around your house, Nancy Pelosi?
And you got her by guns, which you're also against.
Why should we believe any... You're a walking contradiction both of you don't believe the border patrol people who risk their neck
every day believe these career politicians who've been there for 50 years and we're still in this
mess go ahead compromising safety and security the symbol of America should be the Statue of Liberty,
not a 30-foot wall. So our suggestion is a simple one. Mr. President, reopen the government,
and we can work to resolve our differences over border security. But end this shutdown now.
Thank you.
You see how that's good.
Get them off the screen before I shit blood.
No, that's fine.
Do you see how their religion is government?
It's all about power and securing the brown vote
for the next hundred years.
Don't let them fool you.
And Trump, don't worry about it.
We're going to vote for you anyways in 2020
i i just uh and nick you're saying well the dems lie about this all the time what proof do you have
well here's some proof here's a bunch of uh people that you recognize on the far left one of them who
ran for president last year one who was a president for eight years here's here's their two-fate proof
that they that they're
talking to both sides of their mouth. Here they are a few years ago talking about illegal immigration.
That's why our administration has moved aggressively to secure our borders more
by hiring a record number of new border guards, by deporting twice as many criminal aliens as
ever before. Families who enter our country the right way and play by the rules watch others flout the rules. People who enter the United States without our permission are
illegal aliens and illegal aliens should not be treated the same as people who entered the U.S.
legally. And because we live in an age where terrorists are challenging our borders. Oh yeah
that's right. We cannot allow people to pour into the U.S. undetected, undocumented, and unchecked.
We've got to do several things, and I am adamantly against illegal immigrants.
Certainly, we've got to do more at our borders.
Do I have a video of Hillary in 2015? Here you go. I voted numerous times when I was a senator to spend money to build a a barrier to try to prevent illegal immigrants from coming in.
Liar, liar, liar, liar, liar, you know.
That was when she was running. That was 2015. She's preparing for the 2016 run.
That was an ancient history
see what lying motherfuckers they are because it's all about power they don't give a shit about you
um here's some statistics uh that uh prove that this is not a manufactured crisis that
it's actually a real crisis.
And again, here's the stats.
They are ignoring.
Now, in the past two years alone, criminal aliens, they have been responsible for approximately, look at this number,
235,000 violations of the law, including 4,000 homicides, 30,000 sex crimes,
and get this, over 100,000 violent assaults.
In just 2018, 17,000 individuals with criminal records, they were apprehended at the border,
and the crisis goes much, much deeper.
In towns and cities all across this country, we know about the opioid crisis.
300 Americans are killed every single week from heroin.
But it's manufactured 90 percent
of that heroin is flooding across our southern border who cares about the american people
and you can look those up i know you're good oh that's fucking entity you're gonna believe
you can look them up that's where they they can't you know
where they they can't you know uh this was said by uh angelica salas executive director of the coalition for humane immigration rights a los angeles-based immigrant rights organization
so take this with a grain of fucking cayenne and whatever habanero uh this is what she said
manufacturing a crisis at the border shutting down the government
lying in prime time to the american public and executing the a power grab just to build a
medieval ineffective wall is too much that's what that's what she said and to her i say
you stupid fucking blabbermouth cut sorry for the strong language angelica but uh you're full of
shit you're full of shit.
You're lying to the American people.
You know what Trump should do?
Go fuck it.
I wish he did.
You know what?
Just go fuck it.
You know what?
They're right.
Open the government back up.
Forget about the wall. And just watch the West Coast be decimated.
Watch L.A., which is already a shithole.
Watch these sanctuary cities and the crime rates go through the fucking roof.
And just go go you know
i tried that's what i would do but i'm an immature asshole um but you know why are you smiling at
that ryan you pig face you said you're an immature asshole yeah and i said that tongue in cheek, like, you know, when you're blowing a guy.
How can you argue with that?
Oh, you can pretend those statistics don't exist.
Let's go to Mac Daddy in New Jersey.
He's got a cynical take, he says, on the TSA agents walking out.
Jesus, more cynical than my Mac?
Welcome to the show, Mac Daddy.
How are you?
Hey, what's up, Nicky?
Happy 100th, man.
Thank you, brother. That's listening to old, old podcast series up until now.
Appreciate it, man.
So just tell me if this take is too cynical that, you know, you might see in the next couple of weeks some kind of terminal shutdown by some kind of crazy person that runs past TSA.
Come on, some kind of stage thing.
Right.
To show, you know, to show up that, oh, yeah, we really need these guys, you know?
Yeah.
No.
You know what? Too cynical. That's right on the money guys, you know? Yeah, no. You know what?
Too cynical.
That's right on the money.
That might happen in the next 48.
You know what?
Now that you just put that out there, we put that out there,
that probably will happen, Magda.
I don't put anything past these scumbags because it's all about a power grab.
And how many times have they proved that, you know, they'll do anything to win?
That's the one thing I hand to
the dirty Democrat. They will say and do anything. You know why they say and do anything? They know
it'll fly because number one, they have the mainstream media in their pocket. Number two,
they have the most ignorant, uninformed voters in the fucking country. Sorry, folks, I've been
trying not to say that for 10 years because I got a lot of dumb friends, Democrat friend,
I got a lot of dumb friends, Democrat friend, dumbs.
That's what we'll call them.
And dumbs, yes, somebody quote that.
And Democrats.
And you're absolutely fucking right.
They will say and do anything.
And the Chuck Schumers of the world and the Pelosi's know how ignorant they are.
Look who they rely on.
They rely on college-age students to vote.
They rely on immigrants who have been here six minutes.
And that's what it's all about.
And Mac Daddy,
you're right on the money, buddy.
Thank you for the call.
Always good to hear from Joycey.
Mark from Cambridge, Mass.
Ooh, talk about Libtown.
Wants to tell me he had an epiphany when he heard Chuck and Nancy speak yesterday.
It's about Trump.
It's about the wall being there forever.
It's being a reminder of his success and their failure.
Oh, I like that already.
Mark, welcome to the show.
100%.
Go ahead.
Thank you, brother.
I appreciate it 100%.
I think it's less about the policy and more about they know if he gets this wall,
every day of their lives, he's going to outlast them. Isn't that crazy? Yeah.
Isn't that crazy?
That is a... I truly believe that.
Mark, that is an epiphany.
That is...
That would be more powerful a reminder than any statue...
Anything.
That they...
That, you know, college kids will be trying to tear down in 10 or 15 years.
But... Yeah. You are so on the money.
Can you imagine a fucking 1,000-mile wall that Trump built?
Holy shit.
That Trump built?
That's a legacy.
And it's going to be there forever.
No, absolutely.
Look at China.
That thing was built when?
Fucking 12 AD?
I had the same conversation with my buddy. No, absolutely. Look at China. That thing was built when? Fucking 12 AD? It's still there.
I had the same conversation with my buddy.
I'm like, listen, the Great Wall of China, they built it thousands of years ago.
It's still there.
Why can't we do the same thing?
And then from that conversation, then I watched Nancy and Chuck, and I'm like, that's what it is. That's one of the things that's stopping them.
You know what? That is a That's a, you know what?
That is a brilliant point.
And you know what he should do, Mark?
Everything he bills has his name on it.
Well, everything he bills has his name on it.
He should put Trump every 10 feet.
You know what's coming.
All right, Mark, call back, buddy.
I love it.
Thanks, man.
Jesus, that was Cambridge Mass weighing in.
Might as well have been, you know, fucking Pelosi herself calling.
That surprised me.
I thought I was going to take it right in the face there.
Evan in D.C., ADC just tweeted about a federal worker saying they can't survive without a third paycheck.
Evan, go ahead.
Where'd you hear that?
Evan, go ahead.
Where'd you hear that?
I just, she just tweeted it out.
And the thing is, they own, I know federal workers who are on furlough and they are currently,
they only had, they missed one paycheck last Friday.
So she's just lying.
Who tweeted that out? Just get the AOC, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
Oh, that's right.
She's AOC now.
She's fucking, she should be, yeah, she should be DOA.
She's as dumb as a bag of fucking hammers.
You know, I can't even get mad at her, Evan.
She's like kind of cute and just fucking silly and dumb.
I know I'm going to run into her at a store up here
and have to not get her in a chokehold,
but it's actually a great point.
Thanks, Evan.
Jason in Miami wants to talk about the wall
and opinions that are going around.
Go ahead, Jason.
Open form here, buddy.
Good to hear from Miami.
You're on the show.
Welcome. Yeah, I got a lot of white college friends in this liberal shithole. And every time I hear them
talk about all these immigrants coming in, they say, Oh, uh, but don't you know, these people,
they, they work on your houses, they do your plumbing, they do your hedges. How can you say
these nasty things that you want them out? and it's always like this kind of tone
of oh these people are kind of they treat them like indentured servants in a way yeah like they
don't actually give a shit about who they are it's like oh look at this slave class coming in
you know i could use these people to work on my i know front lawn and all that you know there's a
great point they yeah hypocrisy they're they're insulting these people as they think they're you
know that's what happens when you patronize people.
And that's why they're the real racists.
And you're absolutely right.
Like, what?
And you know what?
And they're right on some points because most of them are going to do that.
But you know what?
It only takes a few.
I mean, like I said, I bring up Officer Singh.
And you just saw the statistics.
Yes, the majority of them are good, hardworking people,
but it's not our fucking job.
We already have, nobody knows.
We have anywhere from 11 million to 22 million illegals in this country.
We don't even know the number yet.
We don't need any more uneducated fucking low-skill workers, period.
I've been for a moratorium on legal and illegal immigration forever forever jason great call man thank you uh so much i guess this hit a nerve uh but um i feel safer knowing that
some of these tsa people won't be at work because i fly a lot you know that why can't i scroll this
fucking thing you know this mouse was made by fucking...
Somebody come up with something funny.
I'm tired.
China?
Made by China.
They've seen the show.
They don't like it.
Anyhow.
I'll take one more, and I got to move along.
But I think we...
You can't argue with those facts and statistics that anybody can look up.
Those aren't made up.
I love the irony that this is a manufactured, I should have called the show Manufacturing Consent,
which was a book by Noam Chomsky, a far left so-called genius.
But that's what it is.
If the left had any brains, it'd say he's manufacturing in other words wants consent to build a wall look at this uh this uh i was gonna call it graffiti
how old am i confetti on my shoulder uh excuse me who's gonna vacuum this mess luckily i have
some illegals that i hired that will clean this mess.
Oh, Jesus, what did I eat?
Sausage.
I'm going to take one more call.
Nick in Vegas.
Nick, what's going on?
Hey, Paisan, how you doing?
All righty.
Just want to say, I think there's government shutdown.
You know, Mark Levin says it best.
He goes, the government shutdown is a good thing you know i think what's going to happen is all these
people are going to see how much of a big fucking baby these democrats are and then you know they're
going to cave in eventually and you know with with ted cruz and his new bill on doing term limits
i think that's going to be the next big thing
after this shutdown is over.
Okay.
Because people are just sick and tired of these morons.
All right.
Thank you for the call.
I sort of disagree a little bit on that.
Who's usually a pessimist like me?
I don't think they're going to give in.
That's how the heels are dug in.
Oh, I don't think they're going to give in either.
I just hung up on somebody I didn't meet.
But what I think is...
Go ahead.
No.
Nick just dropped.
Anyways, that's part of the government shutdown.
You can't even make a call today.
Jesus Christ.
We need a little...
We need a palate cleanser after that.
Let's...
Want to see an old man fly through the air with the greatest of fucking ease?
And he has nothing to do with the circus.
And these are the type of people climbing into our country.
They have senses of humor like I do, actually.
I don't know, I pulled the, I sort of sprung this on Jason.
you know what I just watched that
I had an epiphany myself
it's a good way
to get over that wall
just make that spring
a little fucking tighter
under that seat
and he lands
in fucking Sacramento
does he not
I think he does
my friends
but how about all the footage of Shuma Pelosi Obama
Clinton saying their fucking illegal immigration is a problem a couple years ago lying motherless
fucks and then you Democrats who vote you here's the difference between Republicans you watch that
and go you know what they are two-faced fucks, but we're going to stay with them. We have to stay goose-stepped
in the march with them.
There's the difference.
If I saw a Republican
being that two-faced,
I'd call him out on it.
But you guys don't.
You just want to fucking win.
Can we move on?
I'm tired of talking about
brown people and ladders and walls and fucking...
Let's move on to some gender news.
Apparently, us guys are the problem of the world.
We've reported on this many times, but now it's official because the APA,
that would be the American Psychological Association,
says traditional masculinity is harmful.
I'd like to see how many fucking bearded women were in on this research, Psychological Association says traditional masculinity is harmful.
I'd like to see how many fucking bearded women were in on this research,
wearing fucking high tops and had asses like fucking... Somebody come up with something.
For the first time in its history, the American Psychological Association,
that's the APA, released guidelines concerning men and boys,
saying that so-called, and this is in quotes,
traditional masculinity not only is harmful,
but also could lead to homophobia and sexual harassment.
Right away they show their hand.
So if you're a straight guy, just a guy, just a fucking straight guy,
that means you're going to have a tendency to be homophobic
and sexually harass women.
You lying fucking, I can't take this anymore.
This show's making me very angry.
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Put that in your pipe.
The main thrust of the subsequent research is that traditional masculinity,
listen to this, marked by stoicism,
that's when you don't show your emotions like
your dad. Think of your dad and guys who are really manly. Competitiveness, which fucking
guy, like women aren't competitive. Are you dog-siling me? I've seen two women get in a fist
fight over a sweater at Jordan Marsh at Christmas time. Claude each other's eyes. I'm not making
that shit up fucking 15 years ago in Boston. They're not competitive.
Are they, Brods?
You filthy.
Stoicism, competitiveness, dominance, and aggression is on the whole harmful, reads the news release by the famed association.
In other words, every natural trait you have is a man.
Do you understand?
I've been called the woman hater from my sisters, my mother.
This was years ago. But I
wasn't hating women. I was hating this type of shit that I could see coming a mile away because
I experienced some of it, even as old as I am. And I was right. They are a cancer. The feminist
movement today is a cancer. It wasn't. It did some good things. The modern day feminists, you're a fucking cancer.
You're an insidious.
You're at the core
of all political correctness
that we hate in this country.
You're at the core
and it's based in envy.
You wish you had a fucking dick.
You know that we can knock you out
if it ever gets to that point.
And you know what?
You can't get over that shit.
And you never will.
There's no way you can change
our physical dynamics.
We'll always be bigger and stronger
for the most part.
That's all this is.
This is the worst case of penis envy
and they just made it official
because it came out of
the American Psychological Association.
Pooey.
It notes the research shows
traditional masculinity is psychologically harmful
and that socializing boys to suppress their emotions
causes damage that echoes both inwardly and outwardly.
Oh, does it show that?
Does it really?
My dad suppressed his emotions.
You know, he was a great dad and a great husband.
Saw all my friends' fathers
and every other fucking guy that I know that's 40 years older than me.
World War II, huh?
World War II, the greatest generation ever.
They should have been, what, crying and screaming when they saw the fucking Germans and the Japanese?
Seriously, think about what you're saying.
You're so full of shit.
They saved the world.
Men saved the fucking world from Nazism
and everything else that was evil. And you're never going to be able to accomplish that.
So keep writing your fucking articles and insulting men. The whole goddamn, who put
fucking, who put the first man on the moon? Was it chicks? And if you're so superior, why aren't you running everything?
Oh, because you oppress us. It's a rigged game. Well, figure it out. Figure it out.
I am so tired of this fucking horse shit.
Traditional masculinity ideology has been shown to limit male psychological development. Oh,
constrain their behavior, result in gender role strain.
In other words, you should be putting on your mom's dress and just give it a shot in second
grade.
And gender role conflict and negatively influence mental health and physical health.
You have such a warped view of the world, APA.
I don't know how to be.
The masculinity ideology is defined by the APA.
Why do they get to define it?
As a particular constellation of standards that have held sway over large segments of the population,
including anti-femininity achievement.
You see?
At least they're being open about it.
At least they're being open about it.
This is why you guys suck.
An eschewal of the appearance of weakness
and adventure, risk, and violence.
All the shit that great men
have actually,
you know, tendencies that they have showed over time.
It's what makes men walk on the moon.
It takes courage.
It takes balls. It doesn't take a weepy it's what it's why guys protect their fucking uh women and it's why guys alas to get in the boats
when a boat is sinking it's women and you're trying to get my attention right oh sorry
i'm listening to it i'm listening to it. I'm listening to it.
I'm focusing on you.
Please listen and learn.
Your generation is so fucked up.
It's not your fault, by the way.
I like the millennials that come out to see me.
They've had enough themselves.
Listen to this.
The research goes on to suggest that masculine boys may put their energy toward disruptive
behaviors such as homophobia, bullying, and even sexual harassment.
Shut the fuck up.
Really?
Everything that's wrong with our society
is because of masculinity.
You don't find that rigged research?
If you buy this shit,
you are fucking severely retarded.
They do that instead of strive for academic excellence.
Really?
Really?
Let's count the PhDs.
Let's compare how many women are great at math and science
as opposed to men.
You want to get right down to it?
Do you want to get right down to it?
No, you don't.
Though men benefit from patriarchy,
they are also impinged upon by patriarchy,
said Ronald F. Levant,
a professor emeritus of psychology at
University of Akron and co-editor of
the APA volume, The Psychology of Men
and Masculinities. You know what,
Dr. Levant,
this is what I think of you.
You're the fucking problem, you fucking
Dr. Y. Onking jam rag, onking
spunk bubble, I'm telling you, H,
you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground.
I promise you.
That was toxic masculinity.
The new paper also advises clinicians
how to address the problems of their own bias
when treating boys and men.
Yeah, sure it does.
And urges to address how power, privilege, and sexism
work both by conferring benefits to men
and by trapping them in narrow roles.
We're winning right now, so it's all working fine.
Although we are the most, I admit, emasculation and guys are really fast.
I watch TV, every commercial, every sitcom.
It's a straight character in a movie and I go, guy sounds a little gay.
And then I Google him and you know what? He
is gay. It's an agenda. It's being pushed. Don't believe any of it. The only reason man has evolved
is because of those traits that they say are poison. Stoicism. Courage.
fucking a the next story i'm gonna get to okay is gonna prove what i just said right it's a it's a great else this might be the greatest show yet the hundredth show hope you guys are
making notes on these rants two more youtube uh things and i get a styrofoam doll or some shit.
Joe in New Mexico was raised by a feminist who was a PhD counseling psychologist.
I know a few people who've been raised.
And he says I'm completely right.
And he has a personal story how I am right.
Joe, welcome to the show. Please tell me what I said is correct.
And tell us your little anecdote
well it's a lifelong story oh good i'm one of the oldest i'm i'm 58 and i'm one of the oldest
guys that was raised in this bullshit starting in the late 60s my mom started telling me how
bad men were and i had to disavow
my masculinity.
It really fucked me up
for my first three marriages.
I believe that wholly.
My dad's a great guy
and she always
says, and he's stoic, just like you said, but he was a great guy, doctor all his life, great guy.
He's still alive, but he's like your dad.
He's losing it.
She divorced him, and she never got married again.
She never went down the lesbian route, but she hates men.
She's so screwed up because she's followed every psychological fad for the last 45 years.
And it's all bullshit.
It's all bullshit.
And, you know, I could tell you story after story.
I finally gave up trying to be nice to women.
And I tried everything the opposite in my 40s.
And I got laid like you wouldn't believe.
Yeah, there's the great point right there.
Because not all women buy into this shit.
And you know what they want?
They don't.
No, they don't.
They say they do, but they don't.
Yeah, because if they don't agree with the feminists,
they'll be outcasts.
But they really do want you to.
Right.
They want you to bang them until they faint and protect them from physical danger.
And I know people laugh at it.
I don't know if.
Go ahead.
I don't know if you remember Tom Likas, but he was an inspiration to a lot of guys like me.
I mean, he said, treat them like crap.
And I thought, you know, it rubbed me wrong at first.
But he was a lot of shtick,
but there was truth to the core of that.
Yeah, you don't have to treat him like crap, but, you know, just... I know, yeah, I know.
Yeah, I mean, you know, they can open their own fucking doors
and pull out their own chair.
This isn't fucking 1940, but I remember Likus.
I lived in L.A., and I listened to him a lot, too.
And, boy, did they come after him.
And, you know... Oh, yeah, he was great. And boy, did they come after him.
Oh, yeah, he was great.
He was entertaining as all hell.
Oh, fuck yeah. God, he was great.
What's he doing now?
I think he served me a burger at Arby's a couple fucking years ago
when I went out there.
He tried to get in early on the day.
He got fired the same day as Corolla did
because they were both at the same station.
Right.
And he tried to go digital.
And I think he's just a little too old.
He just, he tried to, he was one of the early guys with the paid thing.
And I think it just, the world wasn't ready for it yet.
And then he was too old and it passed him by.
I don't know what he's doing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, that's what happens when you come up.
I'm telling, thank you for the call, by the way.
Great, great call.
Appreciate it, Joe. Thank you, Nick. All right, Joe. Keep happens when you come up. I'm telling, thank you for the call, by the way. Great, great call. Appreciate it, Jim.
Thank you, Nick.
All right, Jim.
Keep it going.
All right.
It's an insidious movement.
It is just based on absolute envy.
Penis fucking envy is all it is, with a PhD thrown into it.
And there's young guys, much younger than me, who, you know what?
God bless them.
They still come to my shows.
Because they're like, you know what?
I am a guy's guy or whatever.
And they don't buy into the shit.
A lot of them do, but a lot of them don't.
And the ones that buy into it, the guys, the millennials will say, I'm a feminist.
They tell women that.
They end up trying to fucking finger pop a bra and get caught at work and shit.
That's their end now to get into their pants.
But, I mean, Jesus Christ christ the caveman was how many
fucking millions of years ago uh you know if what they were saying was true it'd still be in the
caves you know and and we will be we will bring in a pelch down to the river and cleaning them while the wives were out hunting. You all right, Ryan? What the
fuck are you doing? Oh, thanks for telling me 48 minutes into the show. I don't want to mess this.
He hits my hair. I call, holy shit. That's not confetti. That's dry scalp.
I'll get it after the show. People know there's a party
going on.
Anyways, here's
a video
that explains what I'm talking about.
About these
inherent masculine traits
that they want to change.
They want to change the DNA of men.
These feminist whores because they want to be men. Here's a the DNA of men, these feminist whores,
because they want to be men.
But here's a female cop,
and I'm not putting her down.
She's out there risking her life
to protect people and shit.
But watch her reaction
when she pulls a guy over
who's wanted for murder.
She doesn't know that at the point.
But he pulls a gun on her.
And just watch,
and you'll see what I'm talking about
that's her screaming I don't blame her guys pull the gun on her she's wrestling
with a gun.
Right between the fucking eyes.
Bye bye.
There's that toxic masculinity on display again. Bye-bye. although he would have been better off with a male partner. You can ask any cop that. And he runs towards danger and does what?
Saves her fucking ass.
But those traits were just illustrated to you.
Big balls running towards danger, courage.
You think he's going to go on TV and talk about it and shit?
No, he might do like a lot of veterans do,
come home and not say it.
World War II veterans
didn't say a word.
They came home,
started a family
and built the country.
Oh, but they never told the kids
they loved them and shit.
Tough shit.
So there's that toxic masculinity
on display,
saving a female partner.
But let's rub that out.
Let's get him out of the picture so it could be two chicks getting shot.
Yes, I know.
I'm sure female cops somewhere saved the guy.
I just haven't seen the clip yet.
I'm not saying that doesn't exist.
let's go to uh steve uh in new york steve welcome to the nick topalo show what's going on uh How you doing, Nick? Pretty good.
You know, I was raised in New York my whole life.
I come from a mixed background.
I'm not black or white, but I come from, you know, Latin and Asian.
Yeah.
And it's just interesting because, you know,
every time I watch a commercial or see a movie coming on it's always the white girl the black guy and I always wondered about
that the white the white girl with a black guy in every single commercial and
every single movie I mean they're not putting the white girl of a Chinese guy
or an Indian guy or even a Latin guy white He's the white girl, the black guy. Again, another... And it's to the extent...
Yeah, another great point.
It's to the extent where...
It's to the extent where I see it having an effect on young youth,
where they're impressionable,
and it affects the dating experience and the marriage choice as they go on.
Now, this is not something politically correct to talk about, but it's obvious.
It's completely obvious.
Well, it's the it's the height of political correctness, what they're doing.
You have to talk about it is another thing.
But you make a great point that the left who's always singing about diversity, but they seem to be focused.
And you're right. Lately, I've noticed a lot of commercials with it's always singing about diversity, but they seem to be focused, and you're right, lately,
I've noticed a lot of commercials where it's always black and white.
And you're right,
it's usually a white girl with a black guy,
but that's very popular
in commercials and movies right now.
And for a party that's so invested in diversity,
why isn't it a black girl and an Asian guy or an Indian
guy? You don't
really see much of that.
Well, because they hung up on the black-white thing.
If you know who makes these commercials,
Steve, and you know
the politics of people who turn out these movies
and make these commercials, they are
obsessed.
They are obsessed with race.
They're the ones who say they want a colorblind society.
And they think they're going to change the world
by having a white girl
in a Sprite commercial with their black
boyfriend or whatever, or vice versa.
But you make a great point that there's other
minorities you don't see paired up with a
black guy. So what's that about?
I think it has
to do with them being as racist as as they deny themselves that's
actually a great point it's a great point i mean uh because uh and and i noticed that a long time
ago in in in sitcom and now you got there was a show on years ago thanks for the call steve by
the way great call there was a sitcom years ago my buddy anthony clark he's a gay comic he's from
boston uh it was on for about five or six years i don't even remember the name of it but he's
playing a straight husband you know and uh i know guys folks i lived in hollywood i went on these
auditions all the casting people at least on the auditions i went on there was always a you know
few gay guys in the room and and, and they're just obsessed with it.
And they think the rest of the country looks like West Hollywood, and it doesn't.
You know?
And I've said this before on this show.
As long as we have this mentality, we can't do a commercial and have four white guys drinking Budweiser, watching TV.
It's not just commercials.
It's everything.
It's the local news.
You can't have more than three white people.
It's like a rule.
Somebody told me it's in writing.
I read a book years ago.
I forget what the hell the name of it was.
But it's actually in writing.
You have to have so many minorities in a commercial and stuff.
But it's so, you're going to tell me there's not five black guys
watching the Super Bowl by themselves without a dorky white friend
and there's not five white guys
watching.
I know we're a diverse country,
but we don't really fucking
hang out that much together.
Except for down south,
like I said,
where it's refreshing.
I've worked comedy clubs
down south.
You go to breakfast,
you see like older black people
and white people
having lunch together and shit.
Not as much in the northeast.
And of course, the northeast is where the people screaming most about racism.
And but there's actually a great point.
You don't you don't see it.
You don't see an Asian guy in a hot black chick that maybe you do.
Maybe I'm not watching the right channels, but I'm watching ESPN a lot.
You couldn't get more fucking liberal than that.
Anyhow, this one kind of cracked me up.
I'm glad I'm not
have a kid in this guy's class.
We're going to change
the subject here a little bit.
Substitute teacher
Tracy Abram,
he's a man,
41,
arrested Tuesday morning
at Creekside Middle School
after he was allegedly caught
masturbating in a classroom
while students were present.
Put the fucking lotion in the bathroom!
Do we have a picture of him?
Guilty! Guilty!
As Otto and George...
As George the puppet used to say, guilty!
Look at that poor bastard.
Did they take that picture a second after he got busted
this is him having a great time at a party
look at this sad sack of cheese
this poor son of a bitch
look at the size of his skull and he's got three necks
hasn't seen a tit or a vagina and god knows
and he's yanking it in the classroom
behind his desk, allegedly.
I mean, what?
You know, he's,
I mean,
they put it,
they showed a picture
of the classroom,
the kids that are sitting
in the front row,
they all had goggles on
and fucking,
it looked like a Gallagher concert.
Look at this poor prick.
I'm getting sad looking at him.
The class reportedly noticed suspicious behavior by the substitute,
like him breaking his right hand on the desk.
It was taking place behind his desk around 1030.
The alleged behavior was reported to administrators,
and the teacher was immediately removed from school property.
Charges were filed against Abram for public indecency.
He was arraigned to—they'll lump this, the APA will lump this into masculinity.
All guys are capable of this.
They're all capable of rape.
You know, the feminists in the APA will tell you that.
He was arraigned Tuesday.
School officials said in a statement, Abram will not be returning to the district.
He won't? Why not? He was justraigned Tuesday. School officials said in a statement, Abram will not be returning to the district. He won't? Why not?
He was just fucking around.
There was a cute girl named Jenny in the seventh row.
I mean, come on.
Sick fuck.
I love this.
We get a quote from Abram's father.
Claimed the incident was a misunderstanding.
No, a misunderstanding is where you
wear a suit on casual Friday
or you ask for fucking
Splenda and you get equal.
And his son has never had an issue like this in his life.
The father says, I don't think what the
student saw is what really was happening.
No, that's right. It was just an illusion.
What's the father
supposed to say? Yeah, he's been a jerk
off his whole life.
Didn't surprise me.
They should hang him by his toes.
Imagine, you know,
you got a daughter
in middle school or whatever.
Can you fucking imagine?
I'd go in there.
I'd say,
I'd like to take a meeting
with Mr. Abrams.
Then I'd get him in the room
and then I'd be charged
with murder.
You know?
They'd find him with three
erasers stuck in his fucking esophagus,
suffocated.
But only males
would do that. Only male teachers.
It's not like there's female teachers out there
raping 14-year-old boys, is
there? We haven't read 7,000
of those stories.
Spanking it. I gotta wrap this up soon, folks, because I have to drive into the city, which is never fun. I'm 40 miles north. And real quick, I'll save the other two
for tomorrow. And what could be a first for the nation? An Alabama emergency management
agency issued a public service warning this week telling people not to eat hundreds of
chicken tenders spilled across the state highway.
It happened Sunday in Cherokee County and the sheriff's office went so far as threatening to
charge any sticky fingered people caught in the act. So a truck tipped over with chicken tenders on it, and people had to be told not to eat them
off the road. Where am I living? Hello? I sound like Rachel Maddow after Trump won.
You're not dreaming. This is the world we live in.
Would you eat chicken tenders?
If there was another truck behind it
that dumped a bunch of fucking honey mustard,
I might jump out of my car.
I wouldn't, though.
Chicken tenders.
Let me tell you something.
Quarter pounder with cheese or filet-o-fish,
I'd be out there on all fours.
I don't give a shit if they were there for two days.
I'd be fighting off buzzards
to eat a filet-o- fish that was laying in the highway.
God, do I love those.
That double quarter pounder with cheese is like heroin.
The Cherokee County Sheriff's Office is asking that no one try to stop to get the chicken tenders
that were spilled from the 18-wheeler accident.
You're creating a traffic hazard.
Alabama, I'm trying to defend you people, but you're making it very difficult.
You have all kinds of great food down there.
Southern food, grits and whatnot,
fried chicken, gumbo.
You're going after chicken tenders in a box?
You're creating a traffic hazard.
It's a crime to impede the flow.
It's called dining al fresco, I believe, in Alabama.
While they're out there,
they can pick up a few raccoons and deer that will run over.
The guy says, you're creating a traffic hazard.
It's a crime to impede the flow of traffic.
Those cases have been on the ground for over 24 hours
and are unsafe to consume.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Why is everyone so fucking stupid?
Why aren't more people
intelligent like me?
People at the weigh-in, of course, on Twitter
and Facebook. The fact that you have to post
this is killing me.
Another guy said, anybody else
feel like they lost a few IQ points after
reading this? Another guy said,
I came to there last night at about
7.30. There were two vehicles sitting on the side of the road with lights on and flashlights. I remember, and this is true.
I was doing a club in Atlanta. We were going to a radio, morning radio. And, um, there was a road
kill. I don't know what, what the fuck was it? It was, it wasn't a deer. It was a deer.
There was a guy out measuring it with a tape measure,
so he was going to do something with it.
And then he was taking its temperature anally,
and I said, you know,
but he was measuring it.
I still to this day,
I don't know if he's going to make a pair of slippers
for his wife or venison steaks.
I don't know,
but I've never seen that in the Northeast.
Somebody out there, there's a raccoon, and you have your fucking tape measure out.
Anyways, the fact you have to be told not to eat chicken tenders on the highway.
Welcome to America.
Let's end it with a, let's end this with a fight.
Pass up in some super chats real quick.
Okay, real quick.
I got to get out of here.
All right.
Nunya Business said,
I listened to the show
because it's important
to get a balanced perspective
in these confusing times.
Thank you very much, fella.
It is.
There's not too many places
where you can go
and you can hear this type of stuff.
And I get to cut loose
and, you know,
I'm glad you appreciate that.
Hey Mang. Hey Mang. From New Zealand. Paid New Zealand dollars. loose and and uh you know i i'm glad you uh appreciate that we got hey mang hey mang uh from new zealand paid new zealand dollars daily reminder airtight wooden doors are not real
airtight wooden doors are not real well what's he talking about i have no idea okay well i have
no idea either but i'll take your money for the stupid comment. Next. Mindspray111 says, Nick, you were the best.
Much love from R.I.
Is that Mike?
Rhode Island.
Or is that somebody else?
It's apparently Rhode Island.
I love you.
I lived in West Warwick.
I was a door-to-door salesman down there.
I had a fucking ball.
And it's good to hear because, like I said, Rhode Island is a boil on the ass of Massachusetts where I grew up.
And to hear somebody who agrees with this type of stuff is really refreshing from Rhode Island.
You have some of the dumbest politicians.
They're left-leaning idiots.
But luckily, you have the mafia in your own law system in Providence, Federal Hill.
That is all.
All righty.
Let's show a dwarf fighting an animal.
That is all.
All righty.
Let's show a dwarf fighting an animal.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four.
That is it.
I have to get out of here and head to the fat black pussycat.
Thank you guys for all your support.
This is the 100th show, six-month anniversary.
It actually flew by because of you guys.
You've made it successful.
So it's only going to get bigger once I go out and do Rogue and all the other stuff.
I haven't even started to market this yet.
I try to keep my fingers and stand up.
That's why I'm running out of the house right now.
But thank you guys.
We can't do this without your support. Twinks, Priscilla, everybody, you are the best. I will talk to you tomorrow, you Patreon members. Bye-bye, everybody. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 We'll see you next time.