The Nick DiPaolo Show - State of Disunion Speech | Nick Di Paolo Show #1350

Episode Date: February 8, 2023

Nick Reacts to State of the Union. Newborn Survives Earthquake. "How To Be A Bitch" a Real College Course.   Get bonus content by joining Nick on Patreon! www.patreon.com/thenickdipaoloshow Go see Nick live! www.nickdip.com/tour for tickets!

🎵 La la la la la la la la Mr. DePaulo, no one could be as nasty as you pretend to be Unless they really wanted to be disliked Now go home and get your fucking shine box. How dare you, Bob. Hi, everybody. Welcome on a Wednesday, a filthy, rotten Wednesday. Why is it filthy and rotten?

Well, it's a day after the State of the Union speech, which is the biggest joke in fucking history. But you know what? And I'll say this about Trump. It wasn't because he actually didn't need a teleprompter. It was there for him. Actually had the balls to talk from his heart and his gut and his clogged intestines. Let me tell you something, the union's strong. I hate the fucking chinks. But this fucking dope. Watch Greg Gutfeld tonight.

His monologue is about how useless the State of the Union is. Really well done. And I popped some good ones in there. I think you'll be able to pick them out. Yes. Oh, that tooth. That goddamn tooth. First of all, speaking of that,

I want to apologize yesterday. I either did the math wrong. The show, I guess, I want to apologize. Yesterday, I either did the math wrong. The show, I guess, was only 22 minutes. Big faux pas. But I had to get out of here for a doctor's appointment, which has been the case like three times this week and today. But my apologies. I was still, I'd rather be late going to the doctor than, because they make you sit there anyways. So I probably just did the math wrong.

So my apologies. I would never rip anybody off shut it uh what else getting this today see this yeah they're gonna do what they call an implant there's some tooth left or he says that i don't get it. That's the root I guess hanging out How is that possible? I guess he deadened it. Yeah, they killed the nerves in it That's why it doesn't bother me, but it doesn't feel like a root when I think of a root on it Why am I talking about this? Hi, cuz I'm sick of looking like this. Nobody in Georgia even notices And luckily I was in Lexington, Kentucky and then Lowell, Arkansas Where this is like fucking mandatory and nobody noticed

I point it out anyways on stage but I'm sick of, you know when a girl smiles at me and I go what girl? okay, a 70 year old lady at fucking Cary Hilliard's talk about shit food in an overrated place my god at fucking Carrie Hilliard's.

Talk about shit food in an overrated place. My God. You guys don't know what I'm talking about. Anyways, I look good. I go into fucking Great Clips. Yes, that's right, Great Clips. I figured if George Clooney can use the Flobie, which he swears he does,

cuts his own hair with a Flobie, I can go to Great Clips. I get the, again, black chick, fur, fucking, she's been there about a week. I'm like, this will be easy. One clipper all the way around. Just take a little off the top, you know. Fucking 48 minutes later. She's got the lady who usually cut my hair,

trying to teach her how to. It was almost an hour. Guys, that's supposed to be like a 20-minute haircut. She was nice, and I said, what the fuck are you doing, fucking Aisha? No. No, no. Anyways.

I like the dyke cut. Don't I look like one of those confused lesbians with shaved on the side if I made this purple? Also look like you're going to chop some wood soon. I do. I definitely have the official uniform of the dyke on. I'm very dykey today. I got the dyke haircut, the flannel shirt, and work boots. I didn't wear the Daisy Duke shirt. Anyways, yeah, that was 48, 50 minutes for a 20-minute haircut. And she kept complaining about all the gel that was in my hair, and I felt like going, didn't you bitches invent jerry curls?

Shut the fuck up. But I don't talk like that anymore. I used to. Now I'm doing a podcast. And people don't like it. Let's get right to, I mean, the way I talk. They love the fucking show. Let's get to the, I mean, the way I talk. They love the fucking show. Let's get to the state of the goddamn union,

which we all knew. I gave you guys a story, and if I had any ambition, I would have pulled it up again, that I pulled from Breitbart, like on Monday, telling us the six big lies that were coming, and they were all right on the fucking money. How these soulless cocksuckers

can look into the goddamn camera and just say shit is just priceless. Especially starting out with the economy is strong, that type of talk. How fucking dare, it's so strong,

people are smuggling eggs from Mexico, raising their own chickens in the United States. That's how strong it is. When the fuck is this guy? I'll say this, though. I'm going to say this. He was actually kind of lucid and had good energy last night. He did. He was actually, as far as that goes, he faked it. But he's just reading off the prompter. There's nothing there off the cuff. There's no humility. It's just, it's fucking horrible. It opened with, first of all, I give props to Mr.

McCarthy there, seen over Joe's left shoulder. I give him props because he was making sarcastic faces and at one point I thought I saw him nod off and then you got Dumbo on the fucking other shoulder that's the devil that's the angel and she's oh my nobody likes her not even the Democrats like her do you understand it's fucking precious. And she stood up with her giant, she's got a neck like a fucking strong safety, don't you? Anyhow, before this all started, the big thing was Jill Biden, first fake lady,

comes in and she kisses, get this, the aforementioned Kamala Harris's husband on the lips, which that is kind of a big deal here. If that's Europe, no. In Europe, they lick each other's ears and balls to say hi. Hey, who's the old man? Is that Burgess Meredith? Who's the old?

You need a manager, Rock. You need a manager. So Jill comes in in her purple dress, and it seemed like they had a history. Maybe he finger popped her behind the Lincoln Monument and we didn't know about it. But let's take let's go to the videotape.

Yeah, I feel like she's looking for the next rebound for Joe's name to be counted. We could have used some sound there. Go back. I like the applause. Go ahead. That was more than a peck, was it not? Here we go. Yeah. Look at it.

Right now, people. Hey, who's the terrorist with the scarf on in the lower left corner? I hope they checked his book bag. What the fuck? Then you get Burgess Meredith, the old man, to Jill's. Get out of here, you little chicken asses. Hey, Rock, can we get an autograph? Get out of here.

You need a manager. You ain't got no locker, do I, Mick? Yeah, well, get out of here. You can't have tomatoes. Anyhow, yeah, the place was buzzing on the internet about that. And what do you guys think? Right in it, 1-800-FUCK-ME. Right up the nose.

I tickled myself. All right, so we'll move on to some, that was the best part of the whole night, actually. And I think I saw somebody getting a handjob. I think it was Chuck Schumer jerking off Nadler, shooting a load all over Cory Booker's black stupid face. Okay, now to the speech. The first clip, he talks about, this was one of the highlights of the evening, too,

because he's talking about energy and, you know, and let me remind you, the whole green plan is, that's intentional. It all favors China, you understand, and a new world order and all that shit. They make all the solar panels. They do all that shit. It favors them. So I don't know what the fuck. This guy's compromised by China.

And there's so many scientists say that this whole green push is the biggest hoax ever pulled on the public ever. And you can read your left-wing scientists like Bill Nye who are for it. But here he is suggesting he brings up oil. That's all I'm going to say. Here we go. When I talked to a couple of them, they said, we're afraid you're going to shut down all the oil wells and all the oil refineries anyway, so why should we invest in them?

I said, we're going to need oil for at least another decade, and that's going to exceed and beyond that. Look it, he has no idea. He has no idea. Production. Pause. That's the Republicans laughing. The whole fucking left side of the room, which is the right if you come into the Capitol.

I was there behind the guy with the Viking hat. And the whole Republicans broke out laughing because he thinks, ah, we won't need it after 10 years. And they just started fucking laughing in his face. And did you see he had no idea? You see his eyes glass over why they were laughing? Because somebody put that in the teleprompter, probably fucking horse teeth, AOC with the nice tits and the unibrow.

And he just fucking, look at Don McCarthy, like a baby with gas. Even fucking Douchebag has got a funny look on her face. So go ahead. If they had, in fact, invested in the production to keep gas prices down, instead, they used the record profits to buy back their own stock, rewarding the CEOs and shareholders. Corporations ought to do the right thing. Uh-oh! Retard alert!

Retard alert! He had no idea why they were laughing in his face. Because it's absurd to think we're going to abandon oil and fossil fuels in the next 10 years. It's fucking hilarious. Did you see him gloss over? He didn't know. That wasn't the only time there was some interaction between Republicans and shithead. I mean, Joe Biden. I mean, President.

I mean, fuck Stain. Hey, this is my girlfriend, Lisa Boebert. Boebert. Look, there's a tit. See in the right-hand corner of the screen down below? Somebody's big schlaggish. Look at this guy looking into the camera. Look at the look on her face, like she just burped up some tartar sauce.

Here was the highlight of the night. He brings up, you know, Social Security and Medicare, and he has the gall to imply that some of the Republicans want to sunset it, which is, there's not one, apparently, by the reaction the reaction they went crazy i think we'll see my margaret we see mgt or whatever the fuck her name yelling liar and shit this this is and he goes go ahead i'll tell you let's watch wealthy pay their fair share some republicans some republicans want medicare Social Security to sunset. I'm not saying it's the majority. That hit it.

Anybody who doubts it, contact my office. I'll give you a copy. I'll give you a copy of the proposal. That means Congress doesn't vote. I'm glad to see her. i enjoy conversion pause i enjoy conversion what does that mean confrontation he means right i don't know i interpreted it as him trying to make a shitty joke at uh how they're not for sunsetting it so it's like oh you're converting to my side i enjoy oh yeah maybe that's way too bright for him yeah no dallas come on man we're talking you're right i'm giving him way too much credit but that was a good stretch actually i would have bought it if i was a teacher

no that wasn't a bad but i don't honestly I don't think he could fucking. I think he meant comfort. Maybe he does mean conversion. But they went fucking nuts and they were yelling liar. Is there more to this one? All right. You know, it means if Congress doesn't keep the programs the way they are, they'd go away. Other Republicans say I'm not saying it's a majority of you. I don't even think it's even a significant. But it's being proposed by individuals. I'm not politely not naming them, but it's being proposed by some of you. Look, liar, folks. Hey, who's that piece of ass? Yeah, nice backtrack. I know. Backpedaling like, nice backtrack. I know.

Backpedaling like a defensive back for the Jets. You just got burned, bitch. On a go route. What a fucking... Boy, he hit a nerve on that one, didn't he? He's just a liar. Well, I call him a liar. Whoever wrote it and put it in there, and he's just fucking reading it.

He probably got off stage and said, you motherfuckers hung me out to dry. I like to take her behind the Capitol steps and teach her a lesson or two about how to make a bill. I don't even know what that means. So that was, yeah, they lost their shit on that one and um again um i like the i like the conversion you mean the interaction when they yell shit that's how it should be you ever watch like clips of parliament and especially in england yeah yeah and they're yelling it's great they do our government better than we do. And we fucking taught those fuckers. They should all wear powdered wigs and shit.

Imagine how funny that would be. Anyways, who the hell is that? He's just a lion wormy piece of cheese. Let's take a... Then he brings up... He walked into this one. This is like stepping on a rake for him. He brings up fentanyl.

Look at McCarthy's asleep. Out like a light. He's dreaming of being president. Little thought bubble. And look at her. Even she's looking at him. What the fuck? I got to get out of this.

I am dying to know what her future is because it ain't going to be in politics. You know? So let's, here he brings up fentanyl. Fentanyl is killing more than 70,000 Americans a year. You got it. I love it. Who yelled, it's your fault? And why isn't he on the ticket next year? I want to know who yelled.

I should have read up today, but yeah, that's for big shows. Somebody yelled, it's your fault, meaning the border is wide open. He doesn't even realize it. I mean, he realizes the border's open. He doesn't even put the two together, though. That's where all the drugs are pouring in with these people. Killing hundreds of, literally

100,000 Americans a year. Young kids, parents, it's worse than any drug epidemic ever. And it's murder. Chinese sends the ingredients to filthy Mexico. They put the shit together and the mules bring it over. And now Papa Zanuck's thinking, and they fucking die.

And it's not an overdose. It kills you. That's why somebody yelled murder. And this dumb fuck, why would you bring that up? Unless he really believes they have no connection, the border, and people dying of fucking drugs coming in from Mexico. So, again, I bet you he screamed at whoever put that in there. You have a wormy cocksucker, you know that? He really is.

He really is, Paulie. All right. And finally, what would a State of the Union speech be without Pelosi or her husband being there and he comes in in a hat like he's a pimp on Yellowstone did you see the silly hat apparently he still has

marks on his head from the claw hammer he was they said he was hiding his head's all probably dented like a step on a sprite can so he brings up he brings up Paul Pelosi and listen to the left-wing spin he puts on this. Assail and unleash the political violence

at the home of the then Speaker of the House of Representatives. Pause. Unlike the violence to the Supreme Court Justice's house when somebody went, remember they caught a kid with a gun going there to shoot one of the fucking Supreme Guards, Unlike the violence to the Supreme Court justices' house, when somebody went, remember they caught a kid with a gun going there to shoot one of the fucking Supreme Guards, I don't even remember which one. Remember that? And they said nothing. Peaceful protests are allowed to do that.

But this, a clear fag from a nudist colony who's had a record, he's fucking nuts. That's a MAGA guy. A MAGA guy, by the way, who who grew up memory. Oh, he made hemp He made hemp clothes for a living and It's a real right winger Good in language insurrectionists used as they stalk these halls and he said the guy used the same language as the insurrectionists used

the guy use the same language as the insurrectionists used. Can you imagine trying to make that connection? The most dishonest piece of shit in administration history. Look at her putting on an act like she gives a fuck about her 82-year-old husband. She should just let her bags hang out. No shirt under that jacket. That would be tremendous, wouldn't it? Look at the guy to the right. He's ready to spring at the accident punch bite. And there's the black chick nodding. Go ahead. January 6th. Here tonight in this chamber is a man

who bears the scars of that brutal attack but is as tough and as strong as they get. Danny Aiello. but is as tough and as strong as they get. Oh, it's Danny Aiello. My friend Paul Pelosi. What was the guy's name that attacked him?

Mr. DePape says hello. Take the... I wish somebody pulled his hat off and the hand was still stuck in there. And there's shit all over the handle, of course. Yeah, that's all that was. That was a, that was a maga an insurrection. How fucking dare you, Biden, you

piece of rotten suck cheese. You smug cocksucker. Exactly. So that was it. The highlights I gave you. There was more stupidity. I literally watched about 45 minutes. and I go, I can't. I can't. I can't even.

So I put on, you know, everybody loves Raymond. Okay, on to some news. You guys have been following the unbelievable earthquake in Turkey. Last time I heard 5,000 bodies, 5,000 dead people. It's up to 11,000 now. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 11,000?

Oh. Oh. Oh. That's horrible. It is. Not a big fan of turkey. But I don't want nobody to die. A newborn was rescued from the rubble.

I call this a mortal baby. If you guys watched Nick Gamora, that series Gamora I told you about that take place in Italy, in the ghettos of Naples, the drug dealing. And there's a character in there who, same thing, the house collapsed and he survived. They call it, that was his name for the rest of the show, Immortal, whatever. They did a spinoff on his character. He was one of the main, anyways. A newborn was rescued from the rubble of her family's home in Syria after one of the deadliest earthquakes in a century. Don't forget, their houses are made of banana leaves and mud. NPR and other outlets reported on Tuesday.

We heard a voice. I'm sorry. We heard a voice while we were digging, and it sounded like this. Followed by Allah Akbar. God is not so great. While we were digging, a cousin, Kalil Al-Sawaldi, told Agents France Press, we cleared the dust and found the baby with the umbilical cord, so we cut it, and my cousin took her to a hospital.

It was still attached to the dead mom. That is horrible. attached to the dead mom. That is horrible. The baby and her deceased mother were reportedly still attached by the umbilical cord when the rescuers freed the infant from the rubble. The baby's family, including her mother, father, four siblings, and her aunt did not survive. The cousin said, said, wow. What a great picture that is right there. That poor, the kids are fucking orphaned.

Thanks to shoddy carpenters. No. It was a huge earthquake. Family home in Jindiris, Syria, near the Turkish border collapsed after the earthquake struck early Monday morning. Another child whose name is Naur, wasn't her name Naur too? I think it was. Or was it Kevin? Name Naur was rescued, there's Naur, from beneath the rubble. Here she is watching CNN right after

the incident and enjoying a nice soft taco. From beneath the rubble and twisted rebar in the same small town in Northwest Syria, Naur, who appears to be a toddler, had been trapped the whole day in Anthony Weiner's apartment. Oh, for the love of God. In the AP's video, a silent but alert Naur is carefully extracted from the collapsed building by a rescuer who, at that point in the video, was digging her out by hand because they live in 12 AD.

I am like God and God like me. I'm a raw, red gold. He is as small as I am. Tens of thousands of people were injured by the quake, and more than 7,000 have died, but like Dallas just, you know, he's the Grim Reaper. It's up to 11. The powerful earthquake hit the region Monday around 4 a.m. local time. 7.8.

That's a big one. Magnitude quake struck near Norgdagi in Turkey, along the border between Turkey and Syria. Who says this isn't real news? Imagine if Tom broke onto the... A terrible earthquake at 7.5 in Turkey. Excuse me, folks. According to an added state geological survey, USGS says a 6.7 magnitude aftershock rocked the region just 11 minutes later.

According to USGS's observations, the initial earthquake and aftershocks occurred within East Anatolian Fault System. The area is a tectonically active junction with three tectonic plates touch and interact. As of Monday evening at 10.30 a.m. local time around 30 aftershocks of magnitude 4.5 or larger had hit again. God bless the people, honestly. I wonder if they think God is great. No, they should take a survey. They're not all Muslim, but a lot of them are. All right, let's move on. Reparation H. I think I just coined a big phrase for you people who don't like reparations or the idea of it. Reparation H, because it belongs up your ass. A British family who own more than 1,000 slaves in the 19th century in Granada

has pledged to pay $120,000 in reparations. Fucking English, white, pasty, self-hating pussies. BBC reporter Laura Trevelin and her family announced the restitution to establish a community fund for economic development on the island nation of Granada. Granada. That's where they make vodka. Where their ancestors owned six sugar plantations.

The Trevelin family is apologizing, this is a quote from them, to the people of Grenada for the role our ancestors played in enslavement on the island. Oh, God. What's the matter with you? Sorry. The fuck is the matter with you? Engaging in reparations. The Nework-based journalist tweeted saturday along with a link to an article in the guardian explaining the move 42 members of the velian family agreed last week to sign a letter of apology for enslaving captive africans on the island

according to the report that's it that's it keep the alive. You won't get a dime out of me. I'll fucking chase people with a butter knife. Slavery was and is unacceptable and repugnant. Let's not mention that black people were selling their own people or any of that. Its damaging effects continue to the present day where we repudiate our ancestors' involvement in it, the letter read, while also calling on the UK to formally apologize. Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? White women are stupid. The ones that are real liberal, they're as retarded as they come. I sleep like a deer. A deer?

Did deer even sleep? What are they doing? Play cards? I never... Yeah, it's true. They get stuck in the grill of Ford F-150. Family member John Dower learned of the assorted history in 2016 while researching his lineage in the University College London Slavery Database, according to the report. and the University College London Slavery Database, according to the report.

What I read shocked me as it listed the ownership of 1,004 slaves, over six estates shared by six of my ancestors, Dower told the outlet. What a puss. You're a big girl with your horn-rimmed glasses. Those weeds aren't going to pull themselves. I had no idea it became apparent that no one living in the family knew about it. It had been expunged from the family history. That he curled up in the fetal position like the bitch that he is and cried.

Dower said his family was involved in crimes against humanity and now wants to lead by example. Then hang yourself. Let me ask you a question. How many black people living in your state now? Anybody? You're phony fuck like the rest of them in the hope that others will follow. Guess what? You're entitled to shit.

How about that? Finally tonight on my sister's box. What do you mean? I got another story. My producer's all a flutter. Next story, final story. She's a bitch girl and she's gone too far.

You can rely on the old man's money. You can rely on the old man's money. She's a bitch girl. Westminster College in Utah is offering a two-credit course titled How to Be a Bitch. I'm guessing Hillary aced that course. Has a master's in it. And the rest of you bitches. The actual course title includes the full uncensored profanity.

Ooh, edgy. Reframing the realities of women in leadership. What does the media teach us about women for gender and leadership, aggression and behavior? What does interpersonal and organizational communication teach us? Why are words like bitch and bossy so interesting yet problematic? Who said they're problematic? My vagina's angry. Oh, there you go. It is. and bossy so interesting yet problematic who said they're problematic okay shut up bitch are they a badge of burden sounds like a stone song I'll never be your bad bird. Come unpack bitch and its related adjectives to figure out what you want to embrace and what we wish would go away.

We'll start with you. A course description states, here's a girl waiting for somebody to drop a log in her mouth. Dr. Kim Zarkin, is that really? Oh, there she is. I knew it. Dr. Kim Zarkin, who went third in the 2017 draft to the Titans, I think. Why don't you just try a woman's haircut, honestly? You might even not look gay.

Oh, God. Dr. Kim Zarkin is listed as one of the clam-lapping instructors, according to the college's website. Zarkin's primary area of research is the regulation of sexually explicit speech. Well, here's some for you. Analyze that there, classes. The school appears to be currently offering a four-credit course titled Dead White Women. OJ is going to be a guest speaker this week

during the spring 2023 semester. With programming that holds salacious titles such as Stalked, Last Seen Alive, Surviving Evil. I've watched some of these shows. Southern Fried Homicide, House of Horrors. Have you had the Southern Fried Homicide? Oh, Jesus Christ.

You get that with the fucking fried greens? Kidnap, Beauty Queen murders. Excuse me. Date from Hell. And swamp murders. The investigative Discovery Channel is the go-to place to marvel at the frequency of violent deaths white women suffer at the hands of deranged murderers. A description of the core states.

This is what you're studying. Do you understand more of the decay of education? I watch it, but I'm 61 years old. And yeah, I do like to see a white woman get smacked. I'm kidding. I love it. What is so attractive? This is what it asks.

What is so attractive about watching dead white women? You're sick. Fuck. What is it about white women's deaths that piques our voyeuristic instincts? You know what they're implying. We make a big stink when a white woman goes. That's all the course is about, but we don't give a shit when a black woman or a black child, you know that.

Do we as a culture find pleasure at the horrifying deaths of white women at the hands of abusive lovers and husbands? Yeah, I think you do. I think it makes you moist there, Dave. What is so titillating about these TV series? In this course, we will watch popular documentary-style crime drama. I think it makes you moist there, Dave. What is so titillating about these TV series? In this course, we will watch popular documentary-style crime drama. You're watching TV in school. I could be teaching this and making you people laugh your balls off.

Scripted TV series, films, and documentary films that demonstrates our unhealthy obsession with the death of white women. unhealthy obsession with the death of white women. So it's unhealthy, but we're going to watch it. That's right. It's an unhealthy cause. We will study these works from an interdisciplinary approach. Listen to this absolute gobble goo horseshit. These people will never do anything. They stay in education their whole lives. Don't create anything. Don't fucking, don never do anything. They stay in education their whole lives, don't create anything, don't fucking, don't do anything. Interdisciplinary approach that includes theorists

from film studies, cultural anthropology, feminist studies, and critical race studies. Could you get any more PC? Why don't you just grow a dick and get it over with, Pat? The description reads. Why don't you just grow a dick and get it over with, Pat? The description reads. Before I go today, I want to do some thank yous.

Folks, it's starting to work. We're implementing the new marketing plan. I want to thank all the new patrons. Jet just signed up at Patreon to support the show. The show is free for anyone to watch there. But when you join one of our subscriber tiers, you get exclusive extra daily content. That's an extra story. Access to 300 plus archive shows, access to chat with other patrons. You can message me directly and save 10% if you sign up for a full year. I want to say thank you to Brent A. These are new guys. Nick.

Hi. Dan in Sun Valley. Danny Varner. Nicholas Geronantano. Bill Foote. Tyler Krikorian. Al Anderson. Cap Digits.

Chris Bergeron. Ken Thompson. Those are all new people That means I make $78 this month I also want to thank the following listeners For making contributions to Jerry's Kids Not Jerry Lewis This guy Jerry I know Has got a bunch of kids at his house

To help support the show Sean Powell, Nick Powell, is going to get a bunch of kids at his house. To help support the show. Sean Powell, Nick Powell, Kevin Powell, Colin Powell. Buddy Paul Sagnella. Keith Middlebrooks. Jonathan Keller. So if you want to support the show by subscribing at Patreon or make either a one-time or monthly contribution with Venmo, Cash App, PayPal,

or any credit card, just go to nickdip.com and click on the Nick DiPaolo show. Thank you so much. That's it for today, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. You guys think it, I'll say it. You're very welcome. See you back here tomorrow, right? Right. Take care.

Hi. Good night, yeah. guitar solo Outro Music