The Nick DiPaolo Show - Suicide by Cops | Nick Di Paolo Show #581
Episode Date: August 3, 2021The TRUTH About January 6th. They Have Lost the Spirit. Can I Get Two Slices, Please?...
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Hi boys and girls, Nick DiPaolo here.
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Thank you so much.
So the government is going door to door
to make sure all Americans are vaccinated.
Why don't you circle back
after you make sure all the illegal immigrants
that you're allowing in are vaccinated.
Motherfucker, fuck out of here.
I think we just found the next Republican Speaker of the House. Yeah, yeah, yeah, boy!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, boy!
What up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, boy! Yeah, yeah, yeah, boy!
What up?
Good afternoon, everybody!
How are you, folks? Welcome to the big show.
A little bit tired today. Once again, here's my thing.
I prepare for the show, watch a little TV, and I'm like,
yeah, around 12.30, I'm going to get in bed at a decent hour.
But then I put on about an hour's worth of, as you know, I'm teaching myself guitar,
YouTube instructional videos, learning the C major scale, tying that in with some riffs.
You know, that's guitar talk, bitches.
Anyways, so I watch that for another hour.
Now what am I at, 1, 2 o'clock? And that's when I go, oh, shit, you know what I'd like for another hour now what am I at 1, 2 o'clock and that's when I go
oh shit you know what I'd like to see right now
people being hit by trains
and cars
god YouTube is great when they're not banning me
holy shit
I've never seen more stupid people
I got a theory you get hit by a train
in your car
it's just thinning out the herd
man is this do you know how I mean people literally making in your car? Yeah. It's just thinning out the herd, man.
Is this...
Fucking, do you know how...
I mean, people literally making right-hand turns
as the train's coming like a foot away
trying to beat the train.
And then I watched animals being run over by train.
That was a fucking...
You ever see a deer get liquefied
by a locomotive?
I'm telling you, it's like good porn.
Then these... I don't know. All this shit doesn, it's like good porn. Then these...
I don't know.
All this shit doesn't really happen in our country.
It does.
Supposedly, what, every couple minutes,
somebody's hit by a train or whatever the fuck it is.
But anyways, my favorite one was just a pack of poor cows.
No, they were horses, wild horses or something.
Like 10 of them on the track.
And they just stand there as the train's coming,
looking at them.
You hear ba-boom? horses or something. Like ten of them on the track. And they just stand there as the train's coming, looking at them.
You hear ba-boom?
I'm not saying I like to see animals killed, but mother of God.
Anyways, that's
why I'm a little tired, as you can see.
A lot of time on my hands. It's always good
to watch that till, I went to bed and
fell asleep at 3.15 and I heard... About 7.30.
It's like they're building the West Wing on my fucking house.
Anyways, let's get to it.
Let's get right to it, everybody.
I don't know about you, and I hate to be a conspiracy theorist, but...
There's a lot of footage coming out now.
It's all coming out. Why am I embarrassed
to say this? Alex fucking Jones is right about everything. This scummy administration is as evil.
Remember who you're dealing with. Might as well be Pol Pot. So I don't put it past them. It's not
below them to fucking have sit. The whole January 6th thing was a big setup and people fell for it
um i still don't blame trump for that but uh maybe he again i don't know but they fell for it and uh
footage is coming out actual footage of people who were there filming it with their phones
it doesn't look good for the fucking Democrats, even though it doesn't matter, does it? Because
mainstream media is just going to put their fucking white supremacist spin on it. But Christ's sake,
the president's calling us white supremacists. Anybody who didn't vote for him, fuck him too.
Somebody do something about him. Anyways, it was a big fucking setup by this scumbag administration
and it's jerked off cohorts in the mainstream media, in my opinion.
Here's some footage.
People are putting their spin on it, and you can say whatever you want about it.
I'm sure because you sort of vote like I do, my fans, you might see it my way, too.
But it looks like people were inciting this shit. Whether it was Capitol,
the Capitol Police,
FBAP, whoever.
Here's some interesting footage.
You take a look,
and as they say,
we'll let you decide, okay?
Okay, run it.
If you want a good picture,
go up there and take it up there in the bleachers.
If you want a good picture, if you want a good picture,
go up there and take it over and over. They say it. If you want a good picture, get up there and take it over and over.
If you want a good picture, get up there in the bleachers.
Now why would somebody be yelling that?
Bang.
You see a hand.
Pause.
You see a hand.
Somebody throws a flashbang object right into the middle of the audience.
Audience.
Like they're at a Dave Matthews concert.
Right into the middle of a few Trump supporters and a shitload of FBI informants and Antifa and anarchists.
And you hear a flash.
Now, before that, as you notice, it's peaceful.
There's no violence right now. Just a
bunch of people making a lot of noise, waving flags, and whoever filmed this thinks that that
set it off, which is hard to argue when you watch some more of this. Right after that, people scatter, yelling, fuck you.
Family release information about an Alabama... Pause!
About an Alabama guy who died.
I didn't even hear about this guy, did you?
Or this other woman we're going to talk about?
I didn't know about these two people.
I'm not saying it wasn't publicized,
but I've been following this as closely as anybody.
I don't remember hearing about the guy excuse me from
Alabama so go ahead
now they're getting ugly pepper spray cops are squaring off with individuals
individuals. Here's a selfie, what we're showing right now. Two guys, of course,
one of them has a Trump hat on, and another guy taking a selfie while this action is going on.
Now, if you weren't involved in it, right, you were watching it, isn't that an odd time to go,
hey, this is a good time to get a picture? I don't know. I could be wrong about this, but I really don't think so. And it's just so hacked to have a Trump hat on there. I'm making it look too fucking obvious. I don't know. But
I got a story coming up right after this that sort of bolsters my theory about this
all being a setup. Go ahead.
People waving flags. Now there's six cops, seven cops beating the shit out of some guy.
They got him on the ground and they're pounding him.
Way up there.
This person takes a beating from police.
They're wailing on this guy on the ground.
Then the guy was filming.
It says, my group begins exiting the Capitol building grounds.
So interesting.
Very interesting, as Artie Johnson used to say,
for you people in your late 70s.
I don't know how I missed that Alabama guy. Maybe I read about it and forgot about it.
But I'm watching that.
It's kind of cool because it looks like, even though it's not,
I still think it's a setup, but it sort of looks like something people are going to,
no, they won't be reading about history books.
Yes, they will.
It'll be all over because the Dems will be writing the history in the future
if this keeps up.
But watching it from, I don't know, take me back to Braveheart.
Come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!
Go get them!
Do you want to go to war? Come on, do you want to go to war? We'll take you to war, okay? Tony, there's a Cuban in there, Trump fan. Go get him!
There's a Cuban in there, Trump fan.
But, um... What do you guys think?
Don't put it past your government.
They've done way worse shit than this.
And, um...
There's just all kinds of signs coming out,
like Pelosi not letting Jim Jordan and another
guy named Banks, two guys...
Don't forget what set all this off, the stolen election.
I said it.
That's right, the stolen election.
That's what set all this shit off.
So don't forget that, but that won't be in the history books.
And there's no doubt in my heart that the election was stolen.
That's a matter of time.
So there you go.
You guys interpret it the way you want.
Just don't trust your government.
Look what they're doing with COVID and how they're lying to your bucket faces.
What, they wouldn't do that?
And then we have, in the related story, the truth about January
6th and how the Capitol Police really acted. This was on Twitter, at Taylor, T-A-Y-L-E-R-U-S-A. He
tweeted, the police were beating people savagely and the media covered it all up. That's coming
from a guy named Phil Anderson. This guy, Taylor, retweeted this guy, Philip Anderson, a black guy. He's got a t-shirt on,
big fan of mine. Jesus is king. And he was holding a woman's hand named Roseanne Boylands,
who actually died in the crush. Again, I hadn't heard about that either. But that, you know, I was busy taking tuba lessons
and guitar. But here's what
this black gentleman
had to say about
what he saw. And he was right
in the mix. Like I said, holding a woman's
hand who actually died.
But here's what he saw with his
own two eyes.
The police were
beating people savagely and the media covered it all up
literally the new york times the washington post all these people were standing right there
watching it happen and they put the cameras down they pointed towards the ground really they
wouldn't interview me they said like hey you're philip you're philip anderson right let me get
your phone number they never called back because they want to push this narrative that the police the capitol
police want 100 the good guys and that is false the reason they were attacked in the first place
is because they killed roseanne boylan and also nearly killed me one reason i'm still alive is
the trump supporters who saved my life they say pause uh you hear that trump supporters saved this black guy's
life so now you're getting the truth about this mess are you interested in the real story i am
go ahead phil and the reason why they were attacked is because they killed rosanne boiler
nearly killed me in front of everyone there and it's insane to me that they lie about the cause
of rosanne's death they said that it was because of an overdose.
No, that was George Floyd.
Boy, puts a fine point on it, doesn't he?
I fucking love it.
Philip Anderson was holding Roseanne Boylan's hand
when she died.
And the story he told,
completely different than what you'll hear
on the mainstream media
and the lying cocksuckers at MSNBC, CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, New York Times, LA Times, Boston Globe, NPR.
Okay.
Do we have another video?
Was that it?
Not a video.
That was it.
That was it, but that story. No. That was it.
That was it about that story?
Yep.
Well, there you go.
Once again, the media, the propaganda arm of the Democratic Party working in cahoots.
It's like watching the Rockettes.
They're just so in sync with each other. And it's really fucking ridiculous.
But it's white supremacist.
Don't forget that.
What else is going on with that hearing?
I haven't been following it.
What little bit I did see,
we saw Adam Kinzinger bawling like the bitch that he is.
And fucking Adam, that weasel pencil neck ship
with his bug eyes and his sweaty upper lip.
God bless his soul.
Shut up, you don't believe in God, you fucking cretin communist.
If you don't believe that, if that's not enough for you folks,
let's reinforce the story even more in my point of view.
Headline, suicide or rub out?
headline, Suicide or Rub Out?
I actually was going to report today about a,
I had this written yesterday, I found this story,
about a third guy who had committed suicide,
a Capitol policeman.
Third guy.
What are we, seven months out from this thing?
It happened in January, am I right?
Seven months out, third guy,
Capitol cop related to this, committed suicide.
Guess what?
When I got up or when I went to bed last night, my old buddy Rich Wood, I had already had it, but he sent me a fourth guy, a fourth Capitol cop had committed suicide.
Now, that doesn't stink to high heavens.
We're seven months out from this incident. You want my theory on that? Yeah, go ahead, you tinfoil hat wearing motherfucker.
Four guys committed suicide. You know why? They knew too much. Suicide, my balls. You know me.
Right now, you're calling me crazy, but a year from now, you go, God damn it, that greasy guinea had it right? Four people within seven months?
This wasn't Vietnam.
Despite what CNN is telling you.
And, you know, fucking the devil.
Oh, it was like the Civil War.
It's worse than 9-11.
Really?
Four guys committed suicide?
I can't wait to hear.
And you won't. They won't follow up on this.
That's very weird to me.
Okay? Very friggin' weird.
I actually have the fourth guy here.
I'll read it off the paper.
Washington, D.C. police officer who responded and by the way when I read
these you can tell who wrote them the mainstream media um took his responded to a deadly deadly
riot on the January 6th took his own life last month making him the fourth law enforcement officer
who took part in the events of that day to die by his own hands. Bullshit. He's gone and we couldn't do nothing
about it. Officer seen here, Kyle DeFrytag, helped enforce the curfew put in place after hundreds,
and here it comes, of supporters of then President Trump, and let me add the truth,
and Antifa, and FBI informants, it'll all come out, breached the Capitol building in an effort to disrupt the certification of the 2020 election results,
the Metropolitan Police Department told WUSA.
DeFrytack died on July 10th.
He was described as a Pennsylvania native, five-year veteran of the D.C. force.
The office's obituary said that a memorial service was held in the nation's capital over the weekend.
His family has not said his death was caused by the riot.
This just stinks to high heaven.
Early Monday, the Metro Police confirmed that Officer Gunther,
this is the guy I was going to report on yesterday,
Hashida, part of the emergency response team within the department's special operations division,
was found dead in his home last week.
Again, suicide, supposedly.
A GoFundMe page is set up.
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
Pelosi?
I'm so excited.
Nancy Pelosi, lying whore,
described Hashida in a statement as a hero
who risked his life to save our Capitol.
Boy, does she love to fucking play it up.
When is she going to die?
You're a liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it.
So there it is.
Before I could even mention the third guy, a fourth guy, and don't, please, connect the dots.
What's amazing is that Clinton's not even involved.
Do you guys find that odd?
It's not like they saw people being blown up in front of them
like when you're in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Very odd to me.
Yeah, but you just...
I don't smoke pot.
I'm not paranoid.
I'm too old for that shit.
Anyways, something stinks.
And I want to hear the hearings.
You know, I want somebody to...
Again, this is what happens.
This is a big story right now.
They call it drive-by media,
as Rush used to call it.
And, you know, they'll just let it go away.
Hope you and I forget about it.
Four suicides. Although, I got to be honest, when
I used to play the comedy cellar every night for 20 years, there was a stretch of like
six months where three kids at NYU jumped off the library, committed suicide. But hey,
calculus is brutal.
I think one of them was an Indian kid who couldn't go home because he got a 3.9.
And Nick, how can you make...
I used to go to the comedy cell when that was happening.
And by the way, that's 10 feet from the comedy cell.
I'm like, hey, what is it?
Why don't they put a pool
behind that fucking library?
And people would boo, and Asian chemistry majors would give me the finger,
these girls, and say I'm an asshole, and they'd steal them out of the club.
And Manny, the owner, would be laughing his balls off.
Oh, my God, I miss him.
The other guys, Jeffrey Smith, 12-year-old veteran, 12-year-old,
12-year-old kid, I can see why he might have, 12-year-old veteran, 12-year-old, 12-year-old kid.
I can see why he might have, 12-year veteran.
Officer Howard Liebengood, 16-year veteran.
These are the guys who have taken their lives.
Are you with me, anybody, or am I just being paranoid?
That is too odd.
I'm telling you, somebody got word that they were going to sing.
I'll prove it.
Sad part is, so much time will go by, you'll see it on one of those ID shows in 10 years.
There's death and mayhem everywhere.
There's signs that the very fabric holding the society is tearing.
And here's a story that just, to me, proves that.
It's fun to laugh at this shit,
but it really is making me nervous
because the headline is,
they have lost the spirit.
Well, who are you talking about?
Spirit Airlines.
I don't know how anybody would have the balls
to fly Spirit,
by the way, unless you want to end up, again, in the Everglades of Florida after you died being
eaten by, I always think of David Tell's joke, what was the value jet that crashed in the Everglades,
then the people were eaten by alligators? He goes, what, did somebody fuck a leprechaun on that plane?
I mean, Spirit Airlines is experiencing a total meltdown that has led to extraordinary measures across the network.
Unconfirmed reports of, get this, I'm not talking about a city.
I'm talking about an airline.
Reports of riots in Bedlam have been reported in both Puerto Rico and in Florida.
So you're going to hear a lot of this when you're on the...
She couldn't get a refund.
As of 5 p.m. Eastern time yesterday,
Spared Airlines has canceled 277 flights today, representing 36% of its schedule,
according to FlightAware data. 159 flights have been delayed, representing 20% of its schedule.
Weather alone is not to blame for the delay, although it is a primary catalyst. Staffing
issues and a schedule that likely was far too ambitious for the shitty airline.
You know, they, you know, what's it cost?
41 bucks to go to Russia and back.
Spared Airlines has a so-called ultra low cost carrier.
Let me just make it easy for you.
It's the Greyhound of airlines is what it is.
And I'll say it again.
You'll find a higher clientele, a better, more quality clientele on Greyhound bus than
you will on plane today.
But Spirit Airlines, as a so-called ultra-low cost carrier, does not have what they call interline agreement with other airlines.
When delays and cancellations happen, passengers are hung out to dry.
And you know what I mean? You're not going nowhere. I'm staying right here.
It's the risk you take when you book with a carrier like Spirit Airlines.
In other words, with most airlines, and you guys know this, you've all flown probably,
your flight gets canceled.
They have an obligation to throw you on another flight
because they have a sister airline or whatever.
You know how that works.
Well, not with these guys, not with Spirit.
And I'm sure it's in writing this big somewhere on the ticket, right?
You don't think the average American who is, what, a mentality of a sixth grader,
you think they're aware of that?
So anyways, a lot of people, they're like, no, we overbooked.
You're stuck here in St. Louis.
And they fucking lose their mind.
A tweet suggests the situation in San Juan, Puerto Rico is spiraling out of control
with passengers rioting.
Again, it's white people, right?
Passengers rioting, flights ordered to's white people, right? Passengers rioting.
Flights ordered to divert.
Crew members, get this.
They were told to change out of their uniform.
Oh, my God.
And ground staff huddling behind locked doors.
You know what that says about our society right it's I don't know it's
this and call it a night. The party's over
and tomorrow and next year
starts the same old thing again.
That should be our new national anthem.
And by the way,
you fucking athletes of color
who keep fucking turning your back
and kneeling and whatever the fuck,
get out of my country.
Go back to the third world shithole or whatever.
Go find a better country.
Why are you representing the United States in the first place if you hate it, you jackoffs?
They just want to be famous.
I swear to God, it's all social media related.
Back to the spared airlines, my favorite airline.
I took it once, and I know it's a cheesy airline,
and the safety record is so-so.
I know I get nervous because the guy who did the demonstration,
the gay flight attendant, he puts the vest on, blows it up.
There was blood all over it and seaweed and shit from the preview.
Riots break out in San Juan.
Passengers, what's SJU?
That must be San Juan. Passengers, what's SJU? That must be San Juan Airport. Passengers are breaking computers,
Jesus, attempting to break the jet bridge door and are assaulting gate agents. 25 crew members are huddled in a ramp, a ramp break room, waiting for SWAT to escort them away. Just another day in America.
The friendly skies.
Crews are urged to change clothes to avoid detection.
Tempers are flaring at Orlando and Fort Lauderdale as well.
Jeepers, crow, hella wheeze.
Who's an animal?
Your mother's an animal, you
son of a bitch!
You hear that on every flight?
I didn't even show you guys
a clip yesterday of another
ugly fistfight at a plane.
Again,
you know, I didn't show it. I couldn't tell.
There were two people of color involved
and maybe one guy could have been one.
I couldn't tell. I didn't want to ruin my narrative how's that for honesty every airline has been
dealing with severe i r o p's i didn't look that up this is not okay it's more than stress level 10
i never thought I would see.
It says see.
Who wrote this?
I never thought I would be urged to change out of uniform.
Understand traveling is stressful, but this is not okay.
Hashtag be kind, wrote some Pollyannish asswipe.
Stay safe. Stay safe.
Stay safe, Matt.
It was me.
What?
It was me.
Yeah, it was my producer.
A Spirit Airlines spokesman confirms both weather and operational challenges. You know, like breaking computers have impacted flights today.
We're working around the clock to get back on track
in the wake of some travel disruption.
Is that what you call it?
There's literally rioting in your terminals?
A travel disruption?
I wonder if they got on the speak.
You know how they always lie to your face
like we have a technical problem?
We're going to be a little bit delayed.
We have 42 Puerto Ricans
and a couple of white people and a Chinese woman in a bloody
brawl in the hallway. Anyways, in the wake of travel disruptions over the weekend due
to series of weather and operational challenges is what they call it when somebody throws
a large Starbucks onto a gate agent's computer. I kind of want to take Spirit
just to watch the action, you know?
Not take it, just go to the airport
and sit in the terminal.
Anyways, the spokesman said,
we needed to make proactive cancellations
to some flights across the network,
but the majority of flights are still scheduled as planned.
So if you have a Kevlar vest, come on down and book a flight to sunny Orlando.
What do you expect though?
And again, I just mentioned this though.
So they don't have a relationships with other airlines where, like I said, your flight gets
canceled or even legitimate airlines when they overbook, you ever have that happen?
You're like, no, you can't get on. What the fuck? How is that even legal?
So what do you think is going to happen when a airline that is really the equivalent, like I said,
of Greyhound, we're just frightening people from our society booking it because it's $11 to LA
from New York. What do you think is going to happen when you go, no, you're shit out of luck?
Well, throw me on another flight.
We don't do that here.
Because we've lost the ability, you know, as far as resolving conflicts.
Nobody has that ability anymore.
There's a certain type of person that, you know, takes the violence.
What do you mean?
Anybody who flies a Spirit Airline?
What do you mean? Anybody who flies a Spirit Airline.
What a mean country, huh?
Remember when they said that, Michelle Obama said that,
when they first got in office, how it was a mean country under George W.
Can you fucking imagine?
I didn't even do the story about him having his giant party, did I?
In Martha's Vineyard.
500 fucking people.
200 staffers.
I guarantee Michelle insisted they be white.
I fucking just know it.
But at Martha's Vineyard.
Okay?
He's having a party, birthday party.
Anyways.
200 staffers.
And they're telling you to wear a mask and not to get too close.
Fucking suck my white European cock tonight.
Let's move on to more violence, only funny violence, fake violence.
You guys, apparently there's still people watching the WWE and that fake wrestling shit,
which I admit is fucking entertaining,
although I haven't watched it in years.
But people, there's a new wrestling AEI,
I don't know what it's called,
Elite Wrestling Academy, whatever the fuck.
Anyways, they're brand new,
and they're getting a lot of,
why would you watch that shit when you have the UFC,
where you actually see real blood, real violence, three-inch gashes on a woman's forehead after. Why would you have to watch that shit when you have the UFC, where you actually see real blood, real violence,
three-inch gashes on a woman's forehead after?
Why would you have to watch fake shit?
Don't you like real violence?
You're an American, for Christ's sake.
Anyways, headline, can I get two slices, please?
Well, what the fuck does that have to do with wrestling?
Oh, this is my favorite story of the day.
Pizza cutters are meant for pizza, not faces.
Somebody said.
When you read that as the first line in a story, you're like, oh, my God.
What happened here?
This is my second favorite prank that the WWE has.
It's not even them.
I'm sorry.
It's All Elite Wrestling.
I want to give them a plug.
A-E-W.
All Elite Wrestling must have missed this memo as legendary wrestler Chris Jericho.
Wasn't he ripped at one time?
I'm not a big wrestling fan,
but I gotta believe they...
Now he's got that physique we like.
I bet he was in shape 20 years ago.
Anyways, Chris Jericho got his face sliced open.
Of course he did.
On spared airlines for asking for a Diet Coke.
No, by a pizza cutter.
Not even a box cutter, a pizza cutter.
During Wednesday night's broadcast.
But that's not all, folks.
The story is just getting interesting.
During the incident, WarnerMedia's TNT network threw to a commercial, get this, for Domino's Pizza,
prompting the pizza company to consider pulling their advertising schedule from AEW.
When I watch this video, it tickled my funny bone because I want you to get a good look at this guy's face too.
And Matt had a great line.
Let's take a look at the clip.
Just watch.
This is.
Go ahead.
Oh, no.
You've got to be kidding me.
Oh, for the love of God.
Oh, stop it.
For God's sake, stop it.
There's no rule.
It's going to continue through the break in picture.
In picture.
When you order Domino's carry-on, get three topping pizzas for $7.99 each and choose Domino's.
Pizza, pizza.
Pizza, pizza.
Pizza, pizza.
Oh, my God.
How about the guy going picture in picture?
Throwing it to the commercial. Oh, my God. How about the guy going picture in picture, throwing it to the commercial?
Oh, my God.
Anyways, we share the same concerns expressed about this incident
in the content of this TV14-rated program
and are assessing our advertising presence.
This is Domino's talking.
Audit going forward, Domino's spokesman,
Jenny Foraker Petko,
told Friday Office Sports,
Domino's representatives were not involved, they say,
in the placement of the advertisement
or had any prior knowledge
the pizza cutter incident would happen.
This is like a Don Draper.
If you guys watch Mad Men, this guy would have been promoted, whoever came.
However, some fans loved the move.
The Domino's commercial after seeing Jericho getting cut with pizza cutter was so perfect,
one user wrote, Nick DiPaolo, the way I cackled.
I cackled.
The way I cackled when the commercial break cut to a
Domino's commercial after Nick Gage
sliced Jericho
with a pizza cutter.
And like Matthew
said, my producer said, that guy,
do you see the hillbilly that cut him? He's got
missing his teeth. And like
Matt said, he's probably like a Shakespearean fucking local actor trying to get work.
One fan said he ordered Domino's after the advertisement was played.
Fun fact, I ordered Domino's right after I saw that match.
If I'm working in the advertising department or whatever, I'm taking credit for that.
Because the whole world's talking about it.
Domino says they didn't know it was coming.
Come on!
Yeah, and the January 6th riot, the FBI had no idea it was coming.
Wednesday's AEW Dynamite, oh, it's a good event.
I can't believe people still watch this shit.
Main event garnered, what, 1.1 million? Almost 1.2 million
viewers. The fourth most in
AEW's brief history. It was
the third consecutive week that more than
1 million viewers turned in.
Oh my god. We still have
that many hillbillies?
Here's my favorite. That's
my second favorite. My favorite
I was watching wrestling for five minutes
had to be 10 15 years ago and i fucking this guy i might have told the story before it's my favorite
prank they have a pull-up two guys wrestling a guy picks a guy up turns him upside down gives
him a pile driver and he looked like he really fucked up his neck it looked like you know i was
like so the guy does a pile driver and the guy's laying there. I thought he broke his neck. So he's not moving. It gets all quiet and shit.
And nobody laughed, you know, just fucking real quiet. And, uh, the announcers are playing right
along, you know, uh, this is, you know, I don't like what I'm seeing here, Bill, this is serious.
And then it's like a 20 minute delay. back an ambulance in down to you know the two dark
a bunch of doctors get in the ring i'm thinking this guy could die right here they take their
time they put the thing on and put them on the spine board right and they pick him up on the
spine board they very take another five minutes to get him out of the ring and he's laying on the
spine board the neck thing on all of us all of a sudden you see the other wrestler who hurt him.
He's on the top ropes, jumps off out of the ring, does a cannonball onto the spine board.
I was so sucked in, I almost went into shock.
I'm like, that's a paralyzed, what?
That's genius.
That's why people still watch it, I guess,
because it's like soap operas.
They have running stories,
and now they have hot chicks fucking other wrestlers,
and the boyfriends get mad.
But come on.
Is anything better than UFC?
I saw a girl kick another girl in the face this weekend.
She knocked her down with a punch.
As the girl's getting up,
this broad booted her chin like a 40-yard field goal.
And that girl went out like a fucking...
Oh, my God.
I love our country.
Again, go to Spirit Airline if you can see all this play out in real time.
Anyways, let's get on to some good news, huh?
Cancer or the funny bone.
Kathy Griffin has cancer.
Let me preface this, okay, in full disclosure.
I met Kathy years ago.
You know, comic, L.A.
She's very nice to me.
I was very nice to her.
But, you know, she lost me with the whole Trump thing.
Only because she's such a big mouth on social media
and how evil us, you know, straight white men are.
And she's been on that fucking forever.
So you know what?
Karma's a bitch.
You know, straight white men are, and she's been on that fucking forever.
So you know what?
Karma's a bitch.
Kathy Griffin has revealed that she's suffering from lung cancer and will soon undergo surgery to remove half of her left lung.
The doctor's worrying about it spreading.
Well, it actually spread.
They're going to take out her funny bone.
Apparently that's riddled with it too.
Poor Kathy.
She's a combination. She's got the neck
of a rock'em sock'em robot.
Looks like Carrot Top.
She's more manly
than Carrot Top, actually. And this broad had a
tight body about 20 years ago. There's pictures.
Anyways, let's
I guess she went on social media
and, oh my God, it is Carrot Top.
Let's hear what she has to
say, Kathy.
Really, just days ago, like I think
two weeks ago, I was diagnosed
with cancer. Oh,
poor you. So, as a friend of mine said,
how many kicks in the nuts can you take?
And I'm like, my nuts are pretty strong, but it's
a challenge. But how did that hit you? I mean, here
you are, you want the clean break.
You're finally dusting
yourself off. Pause. Listen to this
dumb bitch interviewing her.
Can you imagine,
would they ever interview a guy who held up
a picture of Obama's severed
head and shit?
But now it's all forgotten, you know, and the Asian anchor woman, I can't take this country anymore. Like it never happened. You know, you got a clean breaker. You acted like a real twat
then, but go ahead. And it feels like you get knocked down again. I was definitely in shock.
I'm still a little bit in shock, Not denial, but get knocked down again.
She's referring to her career going to the dumper after the fake seven Trump hit. And this bitch
calls it getting knocked down again. I believe that's what she's referring to. Go ahead before
I shit blood. I still like once a day, I'll just turn to like nobody next to me and go,
can you believe this? Is this a bitch or what? It's still funny. You get that little red beaver right up there and funny.
I don't think it's crazy at all.
Oh, poor Kathy.
Kathy is 60.
Oh, she's ahead of me.
Announced that she's suffering from stage one cancer.
I don't want to see anybody die, especially somebody I know.
I don't care for her.
But stage one cancer and will soon undergo treatment.
The actress took to her Instagram to break the news to her 11 fans and writing,
I've got to tell you guys something.
I have cancer.
I'm about to go into surgery to have half my left lung removed.
Yes, I have lung cancer, even though I never smoked, she said.
Well, whose fault is that?
You know, you can get lung cancer without smoking.
Here's a statistic, I digress.
They ever put up a statistic of the number of people that smoke that didn't die of cancer
as opposed to that killed them?
I just want to know.
The doctors are very optimistic as it is stage one and contained to my left nut, she said.
I mean lung.
Hopefully no chemo or radiation because I don't want to lose this red rat's nest after this.
And I should have normal function with my breathing.
I should be up and running and doing dematerial in no time.
She says in a month or so.
A month or less, she'll be all right.
And again, don't want her to die, but karma's a bitch.
That's what happens, Kathy.
Learn your lesson.
You took a fake head of the greatest president ever that you hated,
covered in blood, and you took a picture of it and thought you were hot and,
oh, poo-poo.
After her surgery, a rep confirmed the procedure went well as planned.
Kathy is now in recovery and resting according to deadline.
Meanwhile, Meghan McCain, you you know megan this girl's
weight goes up and down like oprah she got a really beautiful face yeah she's a little but uh
demanded an apology i love her timing and i'm saying that sincerely from griffin for the
homophobic jokes she apparently made about mccain's friend Clay Aiken. What the fuck?
Is she demanding that now?
Clay Aiken became a congressman, didn't he, or some shit?
He was terrific.
I liked his old stuff.
You know, My Balls and Me and My Life Partner Kevin.
Those songs, they were terrific.
Here's Meghan McCain giving me a headache.
You can just go
on youtube and see a lot of the jokes that she made about him and and other comedians but she
really let it so i would love to hear an apology if she's having doing this kind of soul searching
for you know what could have happened with my good friend so i i don't like her i'm never gonna like
her for all the jokes she made about clay and i don't like her because i don't like seeing
pictures of severed heads of anyone any place because it reminds me of what isis does to our soldiers
okay great just have a sense of humor out of any place did clay aiken did it really hurt him
this is coming from supposedly you Republican, Mr. McCain,
who was a great warrior.
Here is some of her
past work, Kathy Griffith.
This is the type of genius
comic that she really is.
She's a little whore
and a little piece of trash.
Oh, come on now.
That looked like Kathy Griff Griffin holding her own head up
after she went down on her girlfriend.
Nick, that is fucking filthy.
I know.
It's the beauty of being on the internet.
You know, I'll tell you who I'm a big fan of.
Matt Damon.
This guy is hunkalicious.
I'll tell you.
He's a piece of ass.
I actually like his work,
but again, another Harvard, I think
a Harvard guy, right? Real
dope. What did you go to?
What did you go to college to get stupid?
That's Sonny DeFredo.
I mean to Michael, when he
admitted he was joining the Army.
Matt Damon, why is he in the
news? Matt Damon.
Matt Damon says he has never personally used a gay slur.
Matt Damon.
Matt Damon.
Matt Damon.
Matt Damon.
Matt Damon.
Matt Damon.
That looks just like him, though.
Again, I like him.
I think he's a good actor.
But this shit, this is what happens when you stay in Hollywood.
I mean, you're successful.
He has to.
The Hollywood Star told the Sunday Times, I can't believe this article,
his daughter had rebuked him for using what she called the F slur for homosexual.
That's a new one.
In a joke months ago.
So if I was mad, I would have looked at a kid and said,
Shut up. Mind your fucking business and shut up.
In a follow-up statement, the Oscar winner stressed that he had never used the insult against anyone offscreen.
Quote, this conversation with my daughter was not a personal awakening, he said.
I do not use slurs of any kind.
You stop it.
I don't trust anybody who doesn't swear.
That goes for guy, girl, everything in between.
Damon sparked anger for the original interview in which he told an anecdote.
Can you imagine?
This is a national news.
You faggots better lighten the fuck up.
An anecdote suggesting he had used the word until recently. He told the newspaper
it was commonly used when I was a kid
with a different application.
And I know what he's saying.
I'll still use it.
You call each other faggot, you know,
whatever.
He continued,
I made a joke months ago and got
a, I don't know what that word is.
Do you, Matt?
Treatise.
From my daughter.
She left the table.
I said, come on, that's a joke.
I said it in a movie, Stuck on You, another big box office.
Stuck on You.
I never saw it.
It was with Greg Kinnear, where they're like conjoined twins.
Oh my god!
That's right! It was with Greg Kinnear.
They were
conjoined twins.
Who the fuck would have guessed that didn't block
that?
Stuck on you. That's insulting.
Anyway, she went to her room
and wrote a very long, beautiful
treatise on how that word is dangerous.
And I said, this is Matt talking, I retired the F slur.
Understood?
Really? You let your kids tell you?
I told you, no fucking kids.
No, but you wouldn't listen.
Why, you stupid fuck.
After being criticized for his apparent recent
casual use of the insult, he sent the lengthy statement to the United States media,
listen to this. This is gay. This apology might as well be blowing somebody.
During a recent interview, I recalled the discussion I had with my daughter,
where I attempted to contextualize for her the progress that has been made,
though by no means completed,
oh, God, the work's never done, is it?
Since I was growing up in Boston, where we love the word faggot, still do,
or we used to, and as a child heard the word fag used on the street
before I knew what it even referred to, he said.
You, a Harvard guy?
I explained that the word was used constantly and casually
and was even in a line of dialogue in a movie of mine as recently as 2003.
She, my daughter, in turn expressed incredulity that there could ever have been a time where that word was used unthinkingly.
Who gives a fuck what you think?
That's right, you're a kid. Shut it.
Who gives a fuck what you think?
That's right, you're a kid. Shut it.
To my admiration and pride, oh my God, is he laying it on.
She was extremely articulate about the extent to which that word would have been painful to someone in the LGBTQ plus community. In other words, my daughter's smart like me, Regardless of how culturally normalized it was.
Yeah, this is all, how old is she?
41?
I not only agreed with her, but thrilled at her passion.
Jesus Christ.
Passion and values and desire for social justice.
Oh, I'm getting a fucking headache.
Will you shut up?
Will you?
Will you please shut up?
Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? Will you shut up?
He continued, I have learned, oh my God,
suck the ass of the gay community.
I have learned that eradicating prejudice requires active movement
toward justice rather than finding passive comfort
in imagining myself one of the good guys.
Well, that's all you guys do.
You pretend you're the good guy. You speak a big game.
And I will keep the word
fag, I'm making a pledge, I will keep the word
fag and faggot alive
until I fucking die.
Matter of fact, when I'm
laying on my bed,
my wife's holding
my hand, doctor leaves
room, I go, that guy's a fucking faggot.
And then I'll die. And given that open
hostility against the L, there is no more, unless you're talking about like in New York City where
you know, black and brown guys, the most homophobic people on earth beat up a transgender guy once in
a while. Hostility against the LGBTQ plus community is still not uncommon.
It is uncommon.
That's a fucking lie.
I understand why my statement led to many to assume the worst.
To be as clear as I can be,
I stand with the LGBT community,
and I'm going to suck this prick.
Mr. Affleck, come in here.
Right on camera.
God help me.
Fucking quiz!
Alright, that is it for today.
I am a tapirine-ed.
I've got to stop watching people in China
get hit by buses until four in the morning.
Anyways,
God fucking you, Coop.
I do that. I'm watching people
get hit by trains and buses, and
I'm learning a guitar at the same time. It's terrific.
Sometimes I put music to a lady getting sprayed by a cement truck.
That is it, ladies and gentlemen. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com.
That's where the permanent home of the show is. Nickdip.com, too.
Don't forget to become a monthly subscriber. Patreon, all these places you can.
And make daily contributions if you don't do that.
And merchandise.
Hit the tour button.
I'm going to be in Cohoes, New York.
Beautiful old theater where I shot A Breath of Fresh Air on the 13th of this month.
Ten days away or so.
Hope to catch you out there.
Cameo.com also.
If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to Cameo.
Click on my profile. Tell me about the person. I'll make a video. We'll do a to roast a friend or relative, go to Cameo, click on my profile,
tell me about the person. I'll make a video. We'll do a little roast, like a minute and a half,
making your friends cry. It's a lot of fun. All right, that is it. You guys think and I will say
it. You are very welcome. We'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow, everybody. Have a great
day. guitar solo guitar solo We'll see you next time.