The Nick DiPaolo Show - Swalwell Cheats Again | Nick Di Paolo Show #489

Episode Date: February 11, 2021

Swalwell presents doctored evidence in impeachment trial. WHO advisor admonishes the organization's ties to China. Mark Cuban cancels the national anthem.

🎵 How you doing, folks? Welcome to the big show. Thursday, last day of the week. Boy, it goes fast, huh? Holy fucking moly. And then the weekend. You notice the less you do, the faster it goes? I swear to God, if I just lay around like Larry Flint does now.

God damn it, he was a First Amendment hero. I don't care what anybody says. Sexist pig, maybe. But who isn't? Raise your hand in this fucking... Anyhow, great to be with you today. Very exciting. A lot on the show.

Oh, boy, is this great! I have Nick the pig as a friend. I beg your pardon. Twat's on. the pig as a friend. I beg your pardon. Anyways, let's get right to it. Have you been watching Kabuki theater? I haven't. I don't even want to do stories on this impeachment. It's such a fucking sham. Everything is a sham since November 3rd and and on I can't fucking the gall for them to look into the camera this is all about betraying us as white racist bigot terrorists and that fucking White House needs to be protected and the Capitol from us I almost like it I feel like

that's what I would have yelled busting into the Capitol. I would have went right to Pelosi's office and taken a giant steaming dump right on her fucking desk with a note saying, eat up, bitch. Who's with me?

Fucking who? And I hope you see this, Nancy, and the rest of you. Come get me. I'm almost ashamed I'm not popular enough though you found and threatened by me maybe if I put on a viking hat and a fucking bear rug

bust into your house fucking finger popped your daughter and throw her into the tub what Nick you can't well I anyhow I used to fantasize about having sex with Pam Anderson now it's fucking Adam Schiff in the ass as I choke him out.

Who's with me? Everybody? I thought so. Let's get right to it. I got Eric Swalwell caught red-handed. Swalwell presents modified evidence, okay? Look at him. Fucking retarded Matt Damon is what he is.

Matt Damon. Matt Damon. Matt Damon. I don't like your jerk off name. I don't like your jerk off face. I don't like your jerk off behavior. And I don't like you jerk off. That was Tucker Carlson to swallow.

Isn't that perfect? I don't like your fucking jerk off name. tucker carlson to swallow uh isn't that perfect i don't like your fucking jerk off name swallows well uh anyways uh what did he do yesterday controversial in compromised congressman eric swalwell also known as retarded matt damon on the show presented evidence in the impeachment trial of president trump that was clearly, improvably modified on Wednesday. A tweet presented by Swalwell from the verified Twitter account, at Jen Lawrence 21, that's not the actress, by the way. Of course, she's a liberal hooah.

At Jen, this is the good Jen Lawrence, 21, retweeted by President Trump on January 3rd. And the only problem is that Jennifer Lawrence, the awesome one, not the douchebag actress, doesn't have a verified Twitter account and never has. I can vouch she is my fiance, a fella said. Look at, see, do you see it? That's what Trump did. She retweeted it.

And look at the top of Jennifer Lawrence's profile. Big checkmark. What does she got? 11 followers? Took me. I had to make a couple of calls to get verified. That's how I know they hated me. People were tweeting me going, I got 31 followers and I'm almost verified.

How come you get 105? The modification might seem like a small error, but it's not. Considering the motive and that it was presented by someone who has been recently exposed as being compromised by a sexual relationship with a dirty thing with a CCP intelligence agent. Well, baby, me so horny. Me so horny. You keep lying. Me love you. Me love you a long time, pussy. It's been a rough time for Swalwell after a disastrous run for president. That was hilarious.

That failed to materialize, whose most memorable moment was Swalwell's massive fart at a media interview. That was fucking precious. That was like nerve gas. They said three people died at CNN. It didn't get better when it was revealed that he had been sleeping with a CCP intelligence agent compromising national security, yet he's still, he's one of the impeachment managers,

which just goes to show you the Democrats, I don't know if you do this on purpose or you're just evil from the fucking, I'll put you up there with Manson. I even like Manson more than most people. Despite these humiliations, Swalwell was selected as one of the House impeachment managers because he's sharp as a tack.

Oh, fucking idiot. Do you believe this shit? Do you believe? You got him, right? Compromised by Ding Chao Fling and fucking Biden is still yapping with the Chinese. He put this guy, what position was it? Not Secretary of State.

Who was it? But anyway, Bill Burns, who has a long history with China. I forget what position. High roll. Okay? You can't watch this. I mean, knowing what happened during the the election it's just mind-boggling and for you people out there i don't have to tell you my fans because obviously you have your heads screwed on straight politically but they uh they keep saying that trump

keeps repeating the conspiracy theory that he lost the election when everybody in his 30 percent of Democrats admit that it was stolen. So I can't believe I'm going to sit down and watch this shit on C-SPAN. I get up the next morning and I'll read it. Riveting TV, by the way. Fucking lawyers stink. And again, it's a moot point uh they're not going to get the 67 votes you know how it works right you were there when we signed the declaration of uh you know the thing as biden said we uh all the the rights to be self uh you know the thing the tumor growing my head

the size of a grapefruit that'll have me dead by March. So speaking of China, right? Speaking of China, we all know what? That China really runs the World Health Organization, right? We know the fucking huge dollars. Well, the World Health, a World Health Organization advisor was on the Laura Ingraham show, admonishes the organization for negligent COVID investigation. First of all, if you're an advisor, where were you? I haven't seen you. World Health Organization advisor Jamie Metzl criticized the organization's investigation

into the origins of the coronavirus for not taking a serious enough look at the possibility of an accidental lab leak. Oh, they knew that right accidental lab leak oh they knew that right away sir they knew that right away and um again we'll show you a clip here he's telling you that that's because the world health organization is taking their marching orders from china and we'll be taking them soon too biden can't get enough of this sticky rice oh nick those are terribly old shut it and fold it here's this guy metzel on laura ingram talking about the relationship between the world health organization and china right now well the investigation itself was very short it was two weeks of quarantine and two weeks of meetings, but the actual investigation was done by Chinese authorities. And so the WHO investigators were

basically receiving reports from the Chinese officials. And as I see it, the big failure is that they outlined four possible ways that COVID could have been done. One was direct bat to human, second bat human. Second, bat through an animal, intermediate host. Bat through an animal to a human. Third, through shipping or some kind of frozen fruit from somewhere else. Stouffer's chinko. And four, the accidental lab

leak. As you know, Laura, for more than a year I've been... Pause. And five, Swalwell's tongue that went into that CCP agent's asshole many times. Have we looked into that lab work? Go ahead. One of the leading advocates saying we have to look very, very seriously at option four. But rather than saying, all right, let's look more deeply at all of those possibilities. The WHO investigators said we should look at the first three, but not at the accidental lab leak.

That's not too suspicious. I feel like we're light years ahead of, why is everybody so afraid of China? Well, you know why. And Biden's getting us right back into it. You know, it's nice to know. And can I just say this? You can't tell me they've already started working on another one. Why wouldn't you? I've said this on the show before. If you're an adversary of the United States, the only real superpower left,

you know there's a million people around the country locked in labs coming up with another one. They're going to go, this one, that one sucked that China did. Russia's over there. I mean, you could kill it with hand sanitizer. Let's give them something they really can't handle. And there's some scary shit out there.

There's other fucking strains that would be so easy. You know, it's creepy. How about we do some proactive shit? Huh? We have a ton of cattle and what do we get from cattle? Cattle shit? Some type of ricin? I don't know.

Let's get on it. Hoof and mouth disease. We get all kinds of shit. Most of it in the bathroom of the Democratic house. Yeah, so the World Health Organization is obviously being run by the Chinese. So don't expect any information

that comes out of the World Health Organization. Don't take any of it seriously. We know they created it in the lab. We found Nancy Pelosi's fingerprints on two microscopes and Chuck Schumer left a dump in the toilet. I mean, please. Who else eats chicken soup

at three in the afternoon. Speaking of assholes and dummies, um, Mark Cuban, you know, sometimes he sounds like I'm like, okay, kind of has it. Then other times he saw, he made the most sense when Trump was running. He almost sounded like he liked them. Remember, but it turns out he's just another billionaire created by the United States, and he turns around and pisses in the United States' face. It turns out he's not the genius that everybody says he is. But what did he do yesterday? Well, he announced he's going to cancel the national anthem before Dallas Maverick games.

Again, it doesn't affect me. I wouldn't watch the NBA if they were playing in my kitchen. It's the shittiest sport played by the most pampered fucking racist, you know what, people in the world. Outspoken Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban. Ah, Mark Cuban. Ah, the homosexuals. Trim that laugh. the homosexuals trim that lap ignited a firestorm of fury for canceling the national anthem at home games while earning praise from who do you expect surprise surprise some of the athletes

and the biden administration now let me repeat that he wants to care he wanted to cancel the national anthem before the game and president of the United States, his administration all for it. I think the reset is reset. What? Reset is reset. I don't know. I'm just saying socialism here and thriving. Imagine what you think you would ever see the day when the president's administration is for taking away something like that. Cuban on Tuesday told the Athletic that the team would no longer play the Star Spangled Banner while the anthem increasingly becoming a hot button issue in American sports as some athletes kneel

or stay in the locker room to protest discriminatory policing against minority communities. Really? So that's why we should cancel it. Let's cancel hip hop too because that was a hot button. There's a lot of sexist, racist language in there. Let's get rid of it. I don't like it. What is it? Everything that makes the douchebags uncomfortable, we have to get rid of.

But of course, you know, NBA is about 90% black and they don't like this country. About 90% of the players. I'm not saying black people as a whole i know most of them do like it but the nba fucking weed smoking lazy fucking one-on-one hot dogs the nba however squatted the move down oh this is some good writing like an all defensive team center on Wednesday. Get that shit out of here. Reminding teams that the anthem must be played prior to all games in a league-wide memo, which Cuban quickly caved to ahead of the team's evening tilt against the Atlanta Hawks. Oh, so that's all it took, huh?

Where's your balls, you henpecked fruit? Do you understand why the league said no, no, no, no? First of all, they learned from the NFL what that did to the numbers. Second, nobody's watching the NBA anyways. Their numbers are in the toilet. We know why. So, you know, that's why, what's his name, Adam Silver, the commissioner? He's like a globalist, too, so believe me.

If he could have it his way, but he's the commissioner. He's got to make money, right? So he's saying, no, no, no, no, no. So don't take that as a patriotic move by the NBA. It's hard for him to do that, though, because the NBA is in bed with who? There can't be any room in the bed anymore. With China.

Remember LeBron defending China and the whole fucking... The forced U-turn, however, didn't stop critics from lighting into Cuban and the Mavs on social media. Get woke, go broke, tweeted Anthony White, the vice president of the Fort Worth Police Officers Association and Union. So we'll probably see him being investigated, you know, prior to the reversal. He said, I won't spend another cent on at Dallas Mavs. White, a Marine veteran, went on to suggest that those fans allowed at Mavs home games amid the coronavirus pandemic take it upon themselves to sing the goddamn national anthem

in protest. Take it one step further. Go down on the court and do it. Right in the middle of the second quarter. How about that? Tee up for a personal. I like that. Sing it. They do that anyways in Montreal. That's because they have a beautiful song. Let me sing it for you. Oh, Canada, our home and native land.

True patriot love and our all my sons come. Okay. With glowing hearts we see thee rise, the true north strong and free. And both far and wide, O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. Da-da-da-da-da. Guard, keep a light. All right. Very hard when you're vaping and smoking.

Republican Tom Cotton. Excuse me. Swallowing a lung pancake. Republican Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton also weighed in. He actually had a good one. He says, it makes sense. The NBA needs space to play the Chinese national anthem before games. Cracked Cotton.

Has anybody complained about his last name? It's horrible. It's racist. Referring to the league's stumbling approach to pro-democracy protests in Hong Kong in light of its major business dealings with China. So good. John Cardillo, who I know, when I used to do these Fox shows, these live streaming shows, I think he's a marketing guy, unless I'm confusing him. But I guess he's a right-wing pundit and a former NYPD

cop, which I didn't know. I might be confusing my guineas. But he found the move particularly disrespectful to the families of military service members killed defending the U.S. Of course, right? How would you feel? Every Gold Star family, he said, should be publicly hammering at Mark Cuban, wrote Cardillo. This should happen everywhere, wrote Stan Van Gundy. This is a guy who's agreeing with Cuban. This shithead.

All the Van Gundys are dopey. This isn't even the famous one, right? What's the other one, Mark Van Gundy? I don't know. But this is his less known brother who's also a coach. Apparently a fucking communist too. He agrees with the Cuban. He says this should happen everywhere. Van Gundy, the head coach of the Mavs, had to weigh in, of course.

Who gives a fuck what you think? He says if you think Anthem needs to be played before sporting events, then play it before every movie, concert, church service, and the start of every workday at every business. What good reason is there to play the Anthem before a game? He's a dope. You guys know the history of why they do it? There's a little more to it than that.

I'll get to it in a second. Hopefully it's in a prompter. And you know who else had to weigh in? Of course, the smoking hot Jen Psaki. Oh, Jesus Christ. Press secretary for Biden. I'm not a fan. You get that little red beaver right up there in front of you.

I don't think it's crazy at all. You're going to hear that every time we put your freckled face on here. Jen Psaki, press secretary, Biden appeared to signal administration support for the move on Wednesday. That's unbelievable. Framing it as an acknowledgment of America's failures to live up to its lofty ideals. Acknowledgement of America's failures to live up to its lofty ideals. This is coming out of the fucking White House. You think any other countries have failed to live up to their ideals, their poison ideals?

You are disgusting. You're dumb as you are ugly. Nick, that's not, that's an ad hominem. disgusting. You're dumb as you are ugly. Nick, that's not, that's an ad hominem. Ngah, ngah, ngah, ngah. The first documented time, here's the history of why we play it before sporting events, and yeah, let's do it every day at work

just to bug the shit out of you. The first documented time it was played at an American sporting event came at a baseball game in 1862. 1862. 1862. Tony La Russa was coaching the, now this is during the Civil War, the tradition of playing at sport events got a dramatic boost at the 1918 World Series during World War I. And the, this is when people still loved America and believed that it is an idea. And the tradition of playing it before games was popularized during World War II.

So stupid Van Gundy, why don't you read up a little? Why wouldn't you play it before a sporting event? That's why. Go back to your fucking box and one, whatever you run on a defense. Why do you guys watch? I hate to lecture you again, but it is the shittiest spectator sport there is. And I love basketball.

It's fun to play. My worst sport. Get these little hands. No matter what I do, no matter who I fight. So what? You got, he's a heavyweight, you're a middleweight. I'm never going to, I'm never gonna i'm never gonna fight lewis um anyways it's just there's a whistle every three seconds it's so fucking horrible i

watched the bruins and ranges last night they went seven and a half minutes of the first at the start of the game without a whistle that's all i get to say about that and it's not like soccer where they're running around doing nothing. People are getting knocked on their ass. It's fucking great goaltending. Anyways, by the way, the Bruins haven't lost in the last nine. Look out for those motherfuckers. I'd like to introduce you guys to a new sponsor, Honey.com.

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It's very American. I'll tell you who isn't very American and who I'm starting to become a fan of. My boy Macron, the president of France. He didn't know I spoke French. What's his first name? I want to. What is it? Emmanuel. I would have never got that. I was going to say Michelle or Pierre. Emmanuel Macron, president of France. Why do you like him, Nick? Because he's warning against woke thinking. He's saying, stay asleep. I love it. This is, who would have ever thought France would have more balls than us? This is a very important story. It might not be that exciting, but it actually uplifted my spirit.

Somebody gets it a little bit. Too bad it's the French president. French President Emmanuel Macron has now warned his countrymen of the menace of American academic and media woke thinking and of identity politics as a formula for social oppression and disunity. Could he be any more on the money? You are correct, sir. France is officially focused entirely on the integration of its entire population into a cosmopolitan French hole. What a novel idea.

And in a peculiar arc of alliances between, listen to this, nationalists are on his side, academics, do you see? It's actually possible. This just highlights how polluted our system is and how corrosive and corrupt. So the nationalists, the academics, the intellectuals, and conservative politicians are all warning against the importation of what they regard as degenerate, self-destructive, American academic faddishness. You don't hear that word a lot. Maybe when I had bell bottoms.

They are ringing the bell, folks. Do you get it? They are looking at us going, look at these fucking, this was once the superpower. Look, they're tearing each other apart. France has been warned by its leaders from right to left to beware of what is effectively referred to as the latest manifestation of American madness, a phenomenon the French professed to have

identified many times since the Marquis de Lafayette assisted General Washington in securing the surrender of the British at Yorktown in 1781. And who does remember that day? I remember exactly where I was. I was a thought in somebody's head. I don't know. The French president became so exercised by comments. Listen to this. The New York Times. France isn't exactly a right wing country. The New York Times. This is how bad they are. They're pissing off other presidents. The French president became so exercised by comments in the New York Times critical of what was described as the repression by France of Muslims

that he telephoned and upbraided a senior Times officer. He actually called them. Is this moron number one? Put moron number two on the phone. He was pissed because he thought they were misrepresenting his policy of universalism, which he declared to be the unification of all citizens, regardless of their ethnicity, or he's living by our fucking motto. We aren't.

Their ethnicity or sectarian attachment in october he had announced a series of measures to combat radical islamism including placing direct government control on mosques hallelujah requiring that muslim clergy are trained and certified in france and banning Muslim apparel that disguises identity and overstates a religious affiliation. Allah Akbar! Allah Akbar! Allah Akbar! How refreshing is that? Can you imagine our government going, we're taking control of Yamaz. We're going to vet you people. Can you imagine the uproar? Can you imagine the uproar? This was my favorite story of the day.

I'm laughing. Macron, they're like, shit, America saved us from the Krauts. Let's learn something from them. What the fuck are they doing? 70 years later, 80 years later, Macron has dismissed the criticism of Amnesty International and others. See that left wing people going after him already. Large numbers of eminent French academics and journalists have supported the president. That would never happen here. And can you imagine, can you imagine the journalists? They must still be fair over there. And the academics being on Trump's side, just let that sink in. And been severely critical of what they regard as the moral, this is my favorite, disintegration of America.

France will not be a party to any notion of white self-criticism on grounds of privilege and is unabashed in its express belief that the West and France in particular has been a civilizing influence in the world through certainly not without fault, he says. The new head of the Paris Opera, one of the greatest in the world, Alexander Neff. I can just tell by the rims of his glasses I'm not liking this guy. He was criticized for issuing a statement to opera personnel urging diversity. So he got caught with a bug. It's worse. I've got a great premise for a bit. Right here.

You'll see this on stage someday. It's worse than COVID. This fucking self-weight American white hatiness. That's faggot stuff. You want to call it by its name? That's strictly for fags. Because Neve spent 10 years very successfully at the Toronto Opera Company, he is alleged by many in France to have inhaled

and become somewhat, put a mask on, intoxicated by spurious American notions of white self-hate. Neve defends himself cogently, but the fact that even exalted French academics and apparent majority of French intellectual society and the French media dislike and resist contemporary American concepts of sharply formulated white. Again, they say it white self-criticism may be taken as the beginning of a counterculture trend. Yeah, wake up.

Ow, my back. How about it? France president has more balls than ours. That's right. I'm talking about Kamala Harris. You hear some, I just hear some, did you hear some Al Qaeda chatter? No? Every once in a while I pick up somebody planning to kill us or something.

We should do something about it, but I'm busy making $11. Don't you love that? In that article, he actually says white twice. I've yet to hear the word white come out, even on Tucker, any, I mean, you'll hear it on CNN and whatever, because all white men are to blame for everything. But that's where Fox and One American News, I haven't watched enough of yet, but maybe they have the balls to say this hurts white people.

You never hear shit like that, do you? And anytime you see the word inclusion, it means what? When you hear inclusion, they're actually ignoring somebody else. But isn't that refreshing? Don't be a self-hating whitey. That's his message. And he's blaming America and the journalists and the academia. This guy's got his finger on the pulse of our country.

As far as France goes, I don't know. Croissant and they don't shave. That accent's very... Anybody find that uplifting? I thought that was terrific. At least they identified the problem. They're looking at us going, holy shit. Remember when they saved us from Hitler?

Now they're calling themselves Hitler. I don't know, friends. Anyways, hey, you guys know I'm back on the road, right? Pretty soon. I got some new tour dates to announce. Come out and see me live. It's like music. It's better live. April 8th, I'm at the Improv in Raleigh.

And then April 9th, I'll be in Charlotte, North Carolina. April 30th, the end of April, be at the Town Hall Event Center in Port St. Louis, Florida. That sounds important. May 1st, I'll be at the Boca Black Box in Boca Raton. That was my old girlfriend's nickname that I met in Harlem. Yeah, the Boca Black Box. I've been there before. It's a great venue in Boca Raton, Florida. May 13th, I'll be at Hilarities in Cleveland. And May 15th, I'll be at Soul Joel's Comedy Club in Royersford Pennsylvania we're also working on dates in Texas Arizona South Carolina and right here in Georgia so stay tuned

for those again you can get tickets to all my shows at nickdip.com and click on the tour button we make it very easy for I hope to see you out there nothing makes me that tampa i have this when i do comedy the hearty you kill i think most comics will tell you that especially this last show of the night you can't get to sleep the fucking adrenaline just you go back to the hotel and you could stay up for two days it's fucking fucking, and that's why somebody introduced me to heroin in the Miami area. And it really, it really settles you down. Some good shit. I want to thank contributions to this show, which keep us up and running. Since last night, Brendan Byrne, Australia, Daniel DeBus, Alaska, Jeffrey Borkin, California, Stephanie Cannon, Minnesota, Reichstag Fire in 1933,

Kentucky, Clark Cook, Maryland, Linda Kirkpatrick, Oregon, John Mirabella, New York, Dennis Miranda, Pennsylvania, Kit Fortney, Michigan. And then we have some new monthly supporters, William Jennings, Florida, Elliot Pierce, New York, Josh Floyd, Kentucky, Willie Fisterbutt, Tennessee. And we thank you so much, both of you, both the daily contributions and the monthly subscribe. Again, if you become a monthly subscriber, you're going to get an extra four stories that other people don't get. And you can ask me a question. And the answer is 59. Finally, my blood pressure is getting back to normal. I don't know what was going on there. I've always had perfect blood pressure, like 120 over 80 my whole life. The last couple of months,

it's kicked up a little. It's like fucking 195 or 111. I'm like, nah, nah, nah. I don't know what that is. I think it's right around when Biden stole the election. I'm not shitting you. I take this shit personally. It's a very dangerous situation. What do we have next on the show independent conservative journalists oh no attacked during

what a blm rally i wonder if they get all the names huh and i wonder if there were hundreds of arrests like the capital riot thing which they are squeezing every ounce out of. And they're lying during this impeachment. They change it. They're splicing shit together, taking Trump out of context. You're just evil fucks. And it's going to backfire bad. This can only end badly. So this beautiful woman, Asian, not that it has anything to do with conservative reporter

gets attacked by Marxist domestic terrorist group terrorist group black lives matter a real cancer a real blight on our country two men were busted for rubbing a dirty diaper naturally probably one of their kids guarantee their kids a bear ass running around a park freezing so he they rubbed a dirty diaper on an independent conservative reporter's face in attacking her during a Black Lives Matter rally in Madison Square Park last month, according to authorities and police sources. Pictures? Clips? That's her. Why would anybody rub a dirty diaper on a person?

She's Asian, right? Just a touch. Is she not wonderful? Is she not wonderful? It's late in the evening. She's wondering what clothes to wear she puts on her makeup

and brushes her long black hair and then just asks me do I look alright I say my darling I'm gonna hit you in the face with a dirty diaper tonight.

I feel wonderful because I see the love light in those tiny Asian eyes. And the wonder of it all is that you just don't realize. Oh, my God. Okay, so let's show her getting attacked by black people, rubbing dirty diapers in her face. There's no sound to this, but that's all right. Look at this. Fucking bullies.

Super predators, I think Hillary clinton called them do you believe this shit take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape now silly string what fucking punks huh but you keep studying us the whites of trump supporters because you see us doing this shit all the time don't you wake up america tara ann oh she's polish boy was i off i thought she looked a lot like, maybe she married a Polish guy. Cessopanski, 33, was filming the rally around noon, January 10th, when a group shoved her around, hit her on the head with an egg, knocked her cell phone to the ground with an umbrella, because, you know, that's what we do.

I'm black, y'all, and I'm black, y'all, and I'm blacker than black, and I'm... The caught-on video scuffle continued as Cessipanski ran from the group. Cops said, Saquon Jackson. I wonder what ethnicity he is. 23 of University Heights was arrested late Tuesday afternoon, charged with aggravated harassment and stalking. But no hate crime. Jackson was released under supervision, supervision naturally because he's a black fella it won't be long he'll be off the streets hopefully soon

then we had uh gerard a w, Ben 20 of Flatbush, busted Friday in connection to the attack. This is New York. In charge with attempted assault, menacing, criminal possession of a weapon in stalking, according to the police. He was released on his own recognizance, because it's very easy to recognize a scumbag. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. If I think he cunts, he cunts.

Said in true, but he'll tell you you're a motherfucking cunt. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. Motherfucking cunt. Hang on. Don't let her knows it. Ba-ba-da-ba-da-hoes it. Look at some booty. Says Sopansky, who has previously participated in beauty pageants.

I knew she was kind of pretty. Describes herself on LinkedIn as an independent reporter and social media journalist. Well, who are you working? Oh, I guess you do that with the internet, right? Attacked at a hashtag, this is what she put, BLM hashtag Antifa, hashtag New York City rally, smashed an egg on my head,

hit me with an umbrella, spat on, knocked with a skateboard. As the crowd says, don't protect her. She's for Trump. You see what's going on? This is seriously dangerous. Sosipansky tweeted along with a video clip of the day of the incident. They're tough, aren't they? When they're outnumbering somebody, they got a lot of balls, a lot of balls. You better hope those white supremacists fucking don't show their faces because, oh my God, it's going to be fucking ugly. I don't want that, by the way.

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Caliper CBD risk-free for 30 days. If you don't like it, they'll give you a refund. Again, that's tricaliper.com slash NickDip for 20% off. And we thank them for sponsoring the show today. Welcome aboard. And I need that, man. I have my shoulders reconstructed after high school because I dislocated and separated both of them. No exaggeration, 15 times or something to the point where we didn't know back in the 80s we never stretched before we'd lift or after you know i was bench pressing with alignment and when you're doing that and still growing you're stretching i was stretching all my tendons

and ligaments out so they became very loose and my shoulders you know because we didn't stretch or anything and somebody would just punch me and it would pop out and so um yeah i uh fucked him up in high school and then had him fixed right after high school and god bless his doctor some harvard doctor um he back then he worked with the patriots and i went on to play a couple years of college football with no problems but i'm 59 now so that was in 1980 i can't even do the goddamn math what's that almost 40 years ago and um yeah so i need this stuff you guys know who gina carano is i didn't and uh excuse me you nerds might from the mandalorian maybe i should start watching this usually not into it.

I can't even, I watched six minutes of Star Wars I threw up. Like I said, it was a bowling trophy talking to a fucking vacuum cleaner. I couldn't suspend my disbelief.

I never liked this shit, never did. I was a weird little boy. I didn't like this. I liked football and baseball and girls. Real creepy. Anyways,

this is Gina Carano. She faces backlash for social media posts not currently employed by Star Wars. I believe the show's on Disney+. It's a big hit, whatever, okay? So she's pretty goddamn famous. She used to be a UFC fighter, too, by the way. The actress portrayed Cara Dune on Disney+, the Mandalorian.

And, of course, she had the balls to speak out in her politics. And they can't. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. Well, what did she say? The conservative actress has drawn ire in the past over various political statements that have irked fans, such as messages about face masks and voter fraud.

So, you know, if you're a Star Wars fan, you're probably a lefty. No offense. Well, I'm not a Star Wars, but a Mandalorian fan. I guess I shouldn't say that, but you know what I mean. Kind of the nerds. You're controlling the world right now. Politically, I doubt you like what I do. A slew of new social media posts has placed the Mandalorian star at the center of controversy again after she shared some thoughts that didn't fit the narrative of the left-wing douchebags on Tuesday

night. According to Variety, Carano38 shared a message on the social media platform in which she compared today's political divide to events in Nazi Germany. And for you, do eigen Arbeit, do eigenen Fleiß, eigenen Schlossneid. political divide to events in Nazi Germany. So she's comparing events.

She didn't call anybody a Nazi. That's all we hear from the left. How many times they call Trump a fucking Nazi, us Nazi, everybody, Rob Reiner, famous people, nothing, no punishment whatsoever. She's not even doing that. She's comparing the situation. What she's right on the money. She says Jews were beaten in the streets, not by Nazi soldiers, but by their neighbors, even by children, because history is edited.

Most people today don't realize that. To get to the point where Nazi soldiers could easily round up thousands of Jews, the government first made their own neighbors hate them simply for being Jews, which is what they're trying to do to Trump supporters. She's right on the fucking money. She had to know this wasn't going to fly with Hollywood. Although she probably thought, I'm actually making an analogy with a Jews are sympathetic figure and they're still going to come after me. You fucking people. How is it that any different from hating someone for their political views,

which is a great question. Read the post, which was originally composed by another account. A second post contained a photo of a person wearing cloth masks to cover their face and head with the caption, meanwhile in California. Okay, again, spot on, the outlet reports that both posts were removed from her Instagram by Wednesday afternoon. Oh yeah, that was so inflammatory. Others remained, however, including one that reportedly read, expecting everyone you encounter

to agree with every belief or view you hold is fucking wild. She should have said fucking ignorant. That's her at a weigh-in. It's quite a stomach. It's flatter than a lesbian's ass. Who's with me? As well as another that said Jeff Epstein didn't kill himself. So let me ask you a question.

Can somebody point out to me where she was wrong on any of those and why they should be taken down, these fools on the left? You can't handle the truth. No, you can't. Twitter was ablaze. Oh my God, what a cesspool.

With hashtag fire Gina Carano. These people think they are superior. While accounts related to Disney, parent company to Lucasfilm and the Star Wars franchise were tagged requesting she be dropped from the cast of Disney Plus' hit The Mandalorian. requesting she be dropped from the cast of Disney Plus' hit The Mandalorian. It seems that the messaging took, as Lucasfilm said in a statement obtained by the outlet, that Carano not currently employed by the company anymore. You fucking believe this shit? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no oh yeah not this fucking time no fucking yeah oh yeah we love you carano i wouldn't watch that shit but uh anyways i'll buy you i don't know footlong tuna with pickles and black

olives let me do can you imagine can you guys imagine you're gonna be getting a little nervous it's funny but unfunny to you at some. And that's what they're going to do. I mean, it's already, would you wear a Trump fucking, you know, it's just,

that's all right. That's how we kick off the war. As they said in the Godfather, it's going to happen. There's going to be a war every 10 years. Get rid of the bad blood. Or as Jefferson said,

I think the tree of liberty has to be watered with somebody's blood, not mine. I think we ought to lighten up, and I'll tell you who's not watching politics and enjoying himself, and he should be because he is the second coming of Jesus. I think you know who I'm talking about. That's right, Bob Barker, still alive.

Plasted Tom Brady stumbles from Super Bowl parade. Wasn't this great? Mr. Health nut. Mr. I've had two drinks my whole life. Maybe this really this was fun. Tom Brady walking. I said I wrote this Tom Brady walking like James Brady after he got shot. It's about time Tommy went off and went off his quinoa diet.

How do you say it? Quinoa. Quinoa. I sound like that commercial. There's a progressive commercial where old people are trying to pronounce it. Quinoa. Quinoa. And bird seed diet.

Boy, I fucked my joke up. And had a little like he had a little bit of fun yesterday it was so weird seeing this uh he looks like he's on spring break in high school this is somebody actually kind of holding him he looks like a little he's such an innocent you know pure so he got fucked up and just take a look at this footage. It's kind of funny Dad I don't feel good. Yeah, I drank too much All right good enough Excuse me, I Have you ever been in Schenectady? No, I never was in Schenectady.

Neither was I. It must have been a couple other guys. How fucking great. And you better not be criticizing them. I'm sure they are, right? Patriot haters or whatever. he was the best guy around when is the king jealous of the goat today it seems because lebron james just said he was super envious of the epic championship celebration tom brady just had in tampa bay uh just minutes after the buccaneer star was capped on a video, seemingly drunkenly stumbling away from his seventh Super Bowl title parade.

Braun tweeted about his FOMO. Help me out with that one, Jason. FOMO? Fear of missing out. Fear of missing out? Who comes up with this shit? Very close to FOMO. I don't like it.

Man, oh, man, LeBron said. I wish we were able to have our parade, too, because I would have been walking beautifully just like you. He's talking. He's trying to steal Brady's thunder. Go back to doing what you're doing, bad-mouthing white people and praising China. Who gives a fuck what you think? Of course, LBJ and the Lakers weren't able to have a, uh, LBJ? That's funny, too.

LBJ. Boy, he would hate that. I wonder if he hates that. No, LBJ was actually. Anyways, of course, LBJ and the Lakers weren't able to have a Los Angeles celebration after the NBA title in October. California's strict COVID guidelines prevented a party from going down. Is that so fucking sad?

And I'm not a Lakers fan, but even I feel bad for them. That's faggot stuff. Oh, it is. You want a call by its name? That's strictly for fags. We don't have another video, do we? Oh, go ahead. I have no idea.

Oh Jesus. Nature, Will Robinson. Nature, no Will Robinson. Nature. That's the Lombardi trophy. And he's going to throw it to Gronk.

Watch Gronk. Yeah. I love it. He's fucked up. Imagine if that hit somebody like a kid on the head. Look at Gronk go up for it. There you go. They were playing a cover, too.

Gronk ran a scene pattern, landed on the front of a boat. How cool is that? Brady is like, even he's like, I can't believe I pulled this off. I went to another city and won a... Now, a lot of people out there are going, well, that proves it wasn't Belichick, it was him. A little bit, maybe. It's hard to argue, but

come on. Those defenses when the Pats won all the Super Bowls were pretty goddamn good too. So, you know, I don't know what to... But I still can't blame you pulled it off. I got to meet that guy someday. And I'll have to have a pocket full of napkins after I blow them. What? You can't talk like that on TV. I know that's why I'm on the internet.

Speaking of TV, my boy, Greg Gutfeld, this is big news. It's bittersweet. Gutfeld has to take my baby doll Shannon Bream's 11 o'clock spot. What? In other words, they're giving, he looks like he's happy about the news. He's getting a nightly show at 11 p.m. Nightly, Monday through, you know. And I got to tell it's it's well earned man he's i did his first show when he first went on fox it was on at three in the morning i

actually texted him i said don't forget us people who did your show we knew nobody was watching and we weren't getting paid shit and uh he's a good he's a great guy actually guff bell and uh i got can i make a prediction he actually beats he's beaten kimmel and those guys sometimes and the numbers believe it or not every once in a while he does he's on cable they're on broadcast network tv which is a big fucking deal so they fox is very smart they started at like three in the morning right now he has the saturday night show they keep and and they groomed him i got a feeling, especially since Biden's in office, just the numbers we do here can tell that's good when the enemy's running the country.

And he's the closest thing to like, you know, a TV personality. I'm a standup comic. They should have picked me, but they say, I like the word cunt too much. I don't know. Don't be cocksuckers. Anyways, I think this is going to blow up,ers anyways um i think this is going to blow up meaning good i think this is going to be huge because anything a little conservative on tv look at fox news although they're getting smacked around because but it's making my point because they they became a less pro-trump kind of leaning towards the liberal side now and they're getting so I I think it's going to be the timing is right is all I'm trying to say uh so yeah nightly at 11 p.m moving Shannon Bream uh and um his program right now the current version airs Saturdays

uh Saturday night so they announced this yesterday. It's going to be hard to, if you're going to do it five days a week, you know, I want to see what happens. He's still going to be on the five, apparently. Good work ethic,

man. But you need monologue jokes. Seriously, I can write great monologue. I got shit on with Norm on Weekend Update, Quinn. I didn i didn't in that point i don't think i even met norm and uh you know chris rock almost every joke that came out of me and this guy frank wrote um starting in the second quarter of 2021 gutfell will expand uh to weeknights at 11 so he he's going to be rolling in the dark. Oh, boy, is this great.

Fox News at night will move to 12 a.m. All right, so Shannon's still there. I'm going to have to take a hit of. Jason puts that up just to torture me. Aye, aye, aye. You know how hot you have to be to be Miss Florida? You know what hot you have to be to be Miss Florida? You know what I mean? That state has had ass in it since it was inception.

Miss Florida. That's like Tom Brady. That kind of greatness. Nick, relax. Okay. People need a reason to laugh. Fox News CEO Susan, I fucked up Fox's rating. Scott said in a statement,

even like Jason said, boy, do they have a type. I want to congratulate you because you recognize Gutfeld's skills, but you're fucking up the network, honey. I can't believe you're going to be around much longer. Greg's unique, she said, and irreverent talk show has been an incredible success, often beating the late night broadcast competition, despite its Saturday time not much longer. Greg's unique, she said, and irreverent talk show has been an incredible success, often beating the late night broadcast competition, despite its Saturday time slot, with one of the most loyal and engaged audiences. And that's the key. And cable knows we're thrilled to bring this show to weekday primetime and further solidify Greg's place among late night television stars. Reaction, this surprised me, reaction inside the network is

mixed. Somebody said, I don't know who said this, it's yet another descent into outright propaganda coverage fueled by the constant right-wing grievance machine that undergirds Fox. That's from somebody inside? Who? Some maid that cleans up late at night who the fuck said that that doesn't sound sounds made up to me i don't know who the fuck are you are you writing a book who the fuck are you while another a person inside chalked the move up to giving the fox audience more of what it wants according to the nielsen data gutfell was the weekend's most watched show in cable news and the highly coveted demographic. This is key too.

Age 25 to 54. Since launching in 2015, Gutfeld has had some rating wins over late night broadcast shows. Jimmy Kimmel live at ABC and NBC's Tonight Show. Jesus.

And 2020 was the show's highest rated year on record record i guess i should have took it more serious hey everybody we're all gonna get laid i did his old show that it like four or five times that i did the saturday night version um one or two times and then right after that remember that shooting at the gay club in Florida, that massacre. I, I don't know.

I made a couple of jokes that, uh, bye bye. Nikki, no go on show no more. Uh, remember one of the gay guys was filming it. He was in a stall at a men's room and I made a joke.

Like it was like based on a Godfather. I don't want my brother coming out of there with just his dick in his hand. You know, it was a gay nightclub. It was, I teed it up. I couldn't help myself. And I never heard from him again. Anyways, good for you, Greggy boy. He's really fucking, he has a great take on everything. I think. I mean, he's very, he's smart. Speaking of another smart, famous fella in this one, this one, you know, this is a big one. Not surprising, not the healthiest kind of porn magnet. Larry Flint dies. Larry Flint, the famous and controversial publisher known for launching a porn empire has died.

Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Family sources tell us the mogul passed Wednesday morning in Los Angeles from the crabs, chlamydia, and a unknown thing from Africa. No, heart failure. You know, come on. I've never had pains like this before. For nearly 50 years, Flint's been one of the biggest names

in the adult entertainment industry. He launched Hustler magazine in 1974. I bought the first copy, which brought him fame and fortune as it skyrocketed in popularity. Also brought countless legal issues. He was in and out of court every time you put on the TV. You're out of order. You're out of order.

The whole trial is out of order. Many of these First Amendment battles were chronicled in the Oscar-nominated 1996 film The People vs. Larry Flint starring Woody Har harrelson and you know who was in that um what's the woman's name come on lead singer of whole courtney what is wrong with me she played like uh i had a great joke about her on pam anderson rose remember she was sitting next to me being all gross and shit. Um,

but I said, did you see Courtney love and, uh, people versus Larry French? She tremendous. She played the role of a strung out heroin, uh, prostitute slash strip. Right.

I said, what did you do to prepare for that row? Follow yourself around for a week. And she said to me right before I went, they introduced me right before i went up she said don't make any i'm not shitting you she whispers in my ear don't make any anal wart anal wart or or drug jokes or something i went oh i haven't been the same since but have you if you guys haven't seen this i i love this movie.

Everybody was so damn good in it. And I'll just show you a little bit of the trailer because I love the song. I'm not trying to convince you that you should like what Larry Flint does. I don't like what Larry Flint does. But what I do like is that I live in a country where you and I can make that decision for ourselves. Amen. Best line in the movie. Did you hear that? Jerk off, progressives, lefties, big tech, New York Times. Did you hear that? We live in a country where we can make our own decision. That sums it up right there.

And he was a hero, for Christ's sake. Flint's magazine and notoriety also, and I'm not agreeing with everything he did with women, but I'm a fucking guy. You think it really bothered me? What he did was he looked at Playboy and he goes, it's not raunchy enough. We're going to see some assholes in some pink.

Imagine that meeting. It's got a graph and a chart. Here's what. Flint's magazine and notoriety also led to him being shot. In 1978, a murder attempt by a serial killer, Joseph Paul Franklin. How can you be a serial killer with morals? This guy's sexist. Meanwhile, he's got a 12-year-old girl tied to a radiator, pregnant. The shooting left Larry paralyzed from the waist down and confined to a wheelchair, and he suffered from constant pain and other medical issues as a result. Flint dabbled in politics, controversially, of course, by attempting a brief presidential run. Can't run in a wheelchair.

In 1984 and running for governor of California in 2003 recall election. He also weighed in during Bill Clinton's impeachment trial by offering, this was fucking, a million dollars for evidence of sexual transgressions of, you know, the congressmen that were impeaching him to publish in his Larry Flint report. The Flint report, it was called. Anyways, rest in peace, killer. That is it for the week, ladies and gentlemen. I want to thank you again for all your support.

Don't forget thecomicsgym.com, thecomicsgym.com. That'll be the permanent home of this show. So move your stuff from Patreon over there or whatever you got to do. I don't know. And don't forget cameo.com. If you want me to roast one of your friends or relatives, somebody you hate at work, or say happy birthday to your uncle, go to Cameo.com, click on my profile, give me a little information. I'll make a personal video on the phone and send it to them. That is it for the week. We appreciate your support again. You guys,

thank it. I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here on Monday. Have a great weekend, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.