The Nick DiPaolo Show - Ted Nugent | Nick DiPaolo Show #256
Episode Date: November 12, 2019Nick Interviews Ted Nugent. Â MONDAY - THURSDAY 11AM EST...
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Welcome to the Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
You gotta get it. Oh yeah, welcome to the show, ladies and gentlemen.
Happy Veterans Day to everybody out there.
It's a big day. You know, we take our free speech serious, and the men and women in the military allow me to shoot my big fat
mouth off
and we always thank them
for that and this is Veterans Day
so if you see a vet
tell them thank you very much
I see them all the time when I'm traveling
and yeah it's very important
as a comic nobody takes it more
serious the free speech thing
and that's what they're doing essentially.
So it separates us from the third world shitholes, as Trump would say.
Real quick, I want to thank Nicholas Simone and John McMorty, who have joined at the veto level.
It's the highest level here at the show.
Thank you guys so much.
We appreciate the support.
We can use all of it.
And, yes, that's money well spent, I'll tell you that much.
Real quick, Kansas City Comedy Club, what a weekend.
I had three shows.
They were so close to being sold out, all three.
And people, I had a couple people come up.
They heard me on Glenn Beck.
We had a ton of people because of this show come out.
Those are all good signs.
That means we're doing something right.
And special thanks to Jeff Hoffman and his friend who came.
They drove, I don't know how many hours, six hours to see me,
which is just so flattering.
Anyways, thank you.
Great club, by the way, Kansas City Comedy Club.
Tomorrow on the show, remind me, I had hormone therapy.
I had pellets injected into my ass.
My ass,
they cut an incision,
they put pellets in,
and I sprung a leak
about an hour after the minor surgery.
I'm going to show you pictures.
I'm warning you now,
they're graphic.
They are fucking bloody.
And later on today,
Ted Nugent,
I had Nugent called into the show, had a great conversation with him last week.
So that's coming up in a few minutes.
You won't want to miss that.
The guy can talk.
And I've loved him since I was a kid.
He was one of my rock and roll idols.
So don't miss that.
What's going on in the news?
Remember, I interviewed a Donald Trump Jr.,
the phone interview last week,
and I told him, I thought Bloomberg,
Mayor Bloomberg,
you know, the guy who hates sugar and big sodas,
I thought he,
I've been predicting this for, what,
a couple weeks now,
that he's going to jump into the race.
It's not official yet,
but he's running the primary in Alabama.
But here's what I said to Donald Trump Jr. First of all, I don't even think any of the people
running on the Democrat side right now, I don't think they're going to be the nominee. Here's my
prediction. It's either going to be Hillary jumping in with their fat ankles or Mayor Bloomberg.
Your thoughts? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, you know, they did this thing with Hillary. You know, there were six donors that really want to recruit her.
I'm like, six donors?
That's going to be interesting.
You know, and I don't think Bloomberg wants it.
I don't think he wants to go up against Trump one-on-one.
You know, I'm not saying he's not a smart guy.
He's very accomplished.
He doesn't want to go one-on-one against Trump and have the inevitable, you know, Jeb Bush low-energy moment.
I think he's got too much of an ego for that.
So I don't see that ever much of an ego for that. So I
don't see that ever happening. But you never know. But in the meantime, I'm very happy with
the field that we're competing against, you know, watching the lunacy that is there. You know,
Joe Biden's the leader. Most days he doesn't remember what state he's in, but minor details.
I think he'll do great one on one against Trump. This should be fun.
There you go. So as he said, you never know. Well, I did know. Again, it's not official yet. He's still kind of a puss, but he's sitting there going, Jesus, Biden's out of his mind. And the rest of them are left wing fucking kooks. I'm a moderate. I'm a billionaire. I can afford it.
News told Bernie Sanders the former New York City mayor, Michael Bloomberg, may run for president because he did not like the current field of candidates.
And the senator from Vermont responded, that is the arrogance of billionaires.
I think he's just Jewish.
I mean, jealous.
Jewish.
Here's a Freudian slip point.
I think he's jealous because he's Jewish.
He's not a billionaire.
Nick, that's a horrible thing to say.
Sanders went on to criticize the reported plans of the not-yet-announced billionaire to skip the first primaries.
Here's Bernie.
It's too important.
You see, when you're worth $50 billion, I guess you don't have to have town meetings.
You don't have to talk to ordinary people.
What you do is you take out, I guess, a couple of billion dollars,
and you buy the state of California.
But I happen to believe the American people are sick and tired of the power and arrogance
of a billionaire class which increasingly controls not only the economic life of this
country, but the political life of this country.
We are a democracy.
That means one person, one vote.
You want to run for president?
That's fine.
Don't think you can simply buy an election by spending billions of dollars.
We're a democracy. Somebody tell you
that, you fucking socialist-less
communist. That's right, we're a democracy.
We don't want your fucking handouts
and welfare programs either. The senator
was joined by AOC
campaigning
with the candidate in Iowa. I think he might
be banging that. I think he might be hitting it.
I'll tell you, she's attractive.
I know she's one-eighth of my age.
I don't give a shit.
So, unsurprisingly, she wasn't keen on the idea of a Bloomberg candidacy.
First, she took the former mayor to task for his support of New York City's stop-and-frisk policies.
Here she goes, playing the fucking race card.
That have been criticized for being ineffective. Yeah, they're so ineffective that crime is at its lowest
rates in New York City history. And she says they're ineffective, discriminatory and racist.
And she spoke about how the measures affected her personally.
her personally.
I don't think billionaires, she said, should be president right now.
I don't think that's what the country needs.
And I think it's going to take us further in the direction of wealth and political power concentrating at the very top of our country.
And I think that our democracy should be for everyday people.
She gets into the whole thing about the stop and frisk and how racist was and they stopped people who looked like her. Yes, because that's where the crime is happening.
It actually protected people. Crime went down in the statistics to prove it. I was living in there.
Crime went down in those neighborhoods where people live that look like you, okay? And a lot
of them didn't have a problem with it. Jesus Christ, they have to play that race card, don't they?
The reporter also asked if Congresswoman were old enough to run,
would Sanders ask her to join the ticket?
AOC laughed and Sanders showered her with praise and then said,
if I'm in the White House, she'll play a very, very important role.
No question in one way or another.
Health care.
Health care and Medicare.
Anyways, the Democrats aren't crazy about the idea as far as Bloomberg getting in. A new poll found Bloomberg would have 4% support and will be the most unpopular Democratic candidate to
enter the race. Bloomberg hasn't formally announced he's running, but he filed paperwork in Alabama.
Can you imagine this? A Jew from New York running in Alabama.
Oh, God. One of Bloomberg's advisors tweeted Bloomberg is considering a run because he's increasingly concerned the current field of candidates are a bunch of dumb fucking morons.
He's increasingly concerned the current field of candidates are a bunch of dumb fucking morons.
And they're not well positioned to beat Trump.
That's what they're really.
That's why they're trying to impeach him.
We all know that.
But we're waiting for Bloomberg.
Speak up.
Bezos reportedly called Bloomberg months ago and asked if he would run.
The former mayor told his fellow billionaire at the time he would not. But news of the call galvanized progressives in the race, particularly those who have made concerns about wealth inequality. Here's the easy thing. Bezos is a
multi-billionaire. He's the richest guy on the planet. He's calling Bloomberg, who's worth about
$50 billion. And you can put this together, right? Because Bezos and guys like him don't want to see
Elizabeth Warren win, who said she's going to tax the shit out of guys like him don't want to see elizabeth warren win who said
she's gonna tax the shit out of guys like bezos and and and bloomberg's already made it clear in
public that he doesn't like how warren attacks billionaires in the top one percent uh anyways
sanders echoed the sentiment saying jeff bezos worth 150 billion supporting mike bloomberg
with the with the who's worth only a billion. That's a real class of solidarity.
And Liz Warren jumped in, but I don't want to talk about her.
She's a fucking waste of my time.
Former Vice President Joe Biden.
What are we doing?
What's going on right now?
The candidate whose campaign, perhaps most similar to what Bloomberg would be like,
did not respond to the story, but he told reporters in New Hampshire Friday, I love Hawaii. No. That he was unperturbed by a Bloomberg run, adding,
in terms of he's running because of me, the last polls I looked at, I'm pretty far ahead. Yeah,
but you're also two minutes away from wearing an adult diaper, stupid. And Bloomberg is waiting
for you to fall on your face. I think Bloomberg would be a threat. I've got to be honest with you.
He's got a ton of money, and he would, you know,
people are afraid because Trump's so off the rails.
And this guy's just, he's a nanny.
It would be my worst nightmare if this guy gets in.
But anyways, before I get to the Ted Nugent interview,
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Last week we had one of my rock and roll idols.
Boy, when I was 15, 16, I had all this guy's music.
Still do.
He can play the hell out of a guitar.
He's an outspoken advocate who leans right and absolutely a fascinating personality.
The great Motor City Madman called into the show, Ted Nugent.
Here's how it went.
Please welcome Ted Nugent.
Ted, thanks for being so patient.
It's hard to get good health these days.
My pleasure, Nick.
No problem, man.
I'm here in Michigan celebrating a wonderful fall, my 71st fall in the great swamps of Michigan.
So I'm a happy son of a bitch, and I'm all yours.
How the fuck are you 71?
That is not possible.
I'm looking at a picture of you right now, and you look like you're 69.
Well, if I had a little bit of sleep, I'd be downright handsome.
I'll tell you that right now.
But during the rock and roll season and the hunting season, you know, I've been clean and sober my entire life.
No poisons in the sacred temple.
And I've always eaten wild game.
And it's got to be the most nutritious, healthiest, most delicious and fun to shop for food in the world.
So I've really taken good care of myself.
That's how I was disciplined growing up in Detroit.
And I thank my mom and dad and the world around us back then in the arsenal of democracy, Nick.
I was born in the arsenal of democracy.
How cool is that?
Let me tell you, Michigan is – look, I've done comedy a few times in Michigan,
and first of all, the broads are very cute in Michigan.
I don't know if it's that Nordic blood or whatever,
but you really are like the all-American male.
I saw you when I was...
Well, you know, if you look up the picture of Shitkicker in the dictionary, you'll see me naked with two middle fingers on fire.
I think that pretty is unambiguous as it gets.
You know, I'm the funniest black man since Richard Pryor's Afro caught fire.
So I think most people really appreciate me more than you can imagine.
Hey, I did.
Let me tell you something.
I know you have a little bit of damaged hearing, which makes sense.
We have that in common.
I went to a concert.
I saw you circa 1977.
Cape Cod Coliseum, a band called me and tucked it open for you.
Sure.
And the curtains open.
You're standing on a stack or like Marshall amps
or whatever,
20 feet,
you jump off.
I still don't know
how you didn't break
your fucking knees or ankles.
Well, Nick,
I hope you enjoyed that, Nick,
because I did that
for thousands and thousands
of concerts
and I never heard
the word meniscus
until a doctor told me
I didn't have it anymore.
So I hope you enjoyed
the sacrifices I made for your entertainment value.
But, no, I had to have both of my knees replaced back a couple years ago
because they were completely gone.
And I attribute it to that insanity because, you know, people love my music.
I play American soul music.
I play defiant middle finger shit kicker, working hard, playing hard, you know,
Motor City roust about hell raising music. And who doesn't like that? But I love my music more
than anybody. So I really, I really become possessed, obsessed and just intoxicated by the
drums and the bass and my incredible Gibson guitar tone from Kalamazoo,
Michigan. So I kind of lose my mind when I'm up there. I'm lucky I'm still alive,
much less having my knees replaced. I'm telling you, I left there. It was like the greatest show
I'd ever seen. I go home that night, my ears are ringing. I'm like, well, that's normal.
But now fast forward two weeks later, they're still fucking ringing. I'm like, okay, what's going on?
Three weeks later, now only one's ringing.
And to this day, when I talk to somebody on the phone, if they're talking too loud,
I have to switch from my left to my right ear because of just what the doctor ordered.
Well, not only you, you can imagine me.
I was there with the howitzer.
I mean, I literally, the only reason I can understand one syllable you're conveying to me, Nick,
is because I have a miracle ear hearing aid in my right ear right now.
But, you know, it's a combination.
I always carried a gun, and I did a lot of shooting.
I always maximized my time in the great outdoors, and I like the aim small, miss small marksmanship,
my time in the great outdoors and I like the aim small miss small marksmanship not just for hunting but the discipline the uh the uh shock uh mantra the the samurai Bruce Lee ballistic ballet that
is the uh shooting sports and marksmanship so I always carried some pretty big guns and whenever
I'd see a coon or a possum or a skunk or a coyote i mean i'd just jump out of
the truck run to the swamp and i'd start shooting and i never wore hearing protection and so it's a
combination of gibson guitars and smith and weston hearing damage but i with a miracle ear i can
still hear clearly i i mean i'm talking to you and you mumble yes i do mumble well i'm talking
my rock and roll hero here but uh let me ask you about that, Ted. You're a big hunter. I own a couple of guns. I didn't until I got on Twitter and I had to fucking get guns to like these people, they go on safaris and shoot African elephants.
What is that about?
I can walk up to an elephant and punch it in the face.
There's no sport in that, right?
Boy, Nick, I'm glad you asked that.
Hang on one second.
Entertain the people for five seconds.
I'm going to shut the bacon off.
Madison.
Literally, I just shut the bacon off. But here, it's a great sequel. It's a great,
you know, transition into your question. Nick, I want you to take a deep breath. I want everybody listening to take a deep breath and listen to me. I've been a hunter my whole life. I've spent
I've been a hunter my whole life.
I've spent many, many years in Africa with the villagers, with the Aboriginal people, with the African citizens.
Please make a note.
You have to reduce the elephant population, the rhino population, the giraffe, the zebra, the kudu, the gemsbok, the warthog, the inyala, all those wildlife species are African deer.
There is a finite science-based carrying capacity to any habitat on planet Earth. most emphatically, when you don't allow the regulated hunting of elephant, particularly,
and all those animals, then there's no money from the license sales and the tips and the business platform. There's no money to pay for game wardens to stop the indiscriminate,
unregulated slaughter. Nick, you have to harvest the surplus every year is a value commodity that people are
willing to pay to do. And I got to tell you, when I killed my elephants, when my friends killed
their elephants or the lion or the leopard, that meat is sacred to those villagers. They want that
meat. And if we didn't pay ridiculous amounts of monies to kill those elephants and those zebras,
if we didn't pay that money, they would kill them indiscriminately,
and they'd kill each other to get the meat.
Do not be so outrageous and pompous in America to think somebody in Detroit can dictate wildlife policy
in Zimbabwe. Nobody in Africa is belligerent enough to think that they can tell us how to
manage our deer. The animals have to be maintained as an asset in the asset column so that they're valuable,
that people get the revenues and the precious protein.
I mean, when we kill an elephant, you can't find bloody sand within five hours.
Those natives use everything from that elephant,
and by killing that surplus percentage of elephants, or it doesn't matter,
giraffe, giraffe is just a long-necked deer.
It's meat.
They use the skins.
They use the bone.
They use the sinew.
They use the hoofs.
They use the eyeballs.
Neck.
It's a renewable resource.
And I wish people in America would shut the fuck up and let native Africans manage their wildlife in the asset column instead of some asshole like Pam Anderson trying to save Bambi.
And then all of a sudden it's a liability.
If you're against hunting in Africa, fuck you.
Okay.
So you're saying we have to kill those animals to conserve those animals.
Absolutely.
You have to make room in finite habitat for next year's production.
They're going to have babies, Nick, but the ground is not going to expand.
Surely you can grasp that.
Are we talking about the elephants or the Africans as far as babies?
I'm talking about everything, quite honestly.
That's why people die.
So when I see a story, and again, I'm not taking a side either way here.
I used to hunt.
If you're smart, you'll take my side, but go ahead.
Of course, I'm going to take your side.
You know 12 times more about it.
So these stories I see when these people just kill these elephants just for their tusks.
No, they don't.
No, there's no such thing.
So that's propaganda.
Nick, the only place where elephants are killed for their tusks
are where hunting has been banned,
and there's no hunting dollars to hire game wardens.
I get you.
Now I get you.
When we kill an elephant with a license,
just like when we kill a deer with a license,
that meat, Nick, those native villages, they need that meat.
They eat every scrap.
I swear to God, they use the tail.
They use the ears.
They use the toenails, man.
They use it all.
They use it for tools and medicine and weapons and and food and shelter and clothing
well it's not working out for them because they're still 100 years behind well yeah but that's
because they haven't got freedom they haven't got a constitution or a bill of rights so there's still
tyranny over there that's the problem perfect segue into my next uh my next question i'm going
to give you a hypothetical you're hunting and uh you're out there with your bow and arrow. You're in the woods. You see a 10 point buck, but then you look to your left and you see Beto O'Rourke. Who do you shoot?
for being such a treasonous traitor an anti-american dirtbag who hates everything about america and then he wants to somehow lead america so we can turn into venezuela hey beto fuck you
hey fucking men this pete buttajid you explain this to me this guy he saw you know he saw action
he's a veteran in ira whatnot. How can he have Ted,
the political views that he does have to be a veteran and seeing action
explained, square that up for me. You're way smarter than me.
Please fucking explain that to me.
Well, Nick, you're asking a question that's,
that mystifies the human mind.
And you know, guys like, uh, uh, uh, uh, justifies the human mind. Guys like Bruce Springsteen and these guys that condemn the
very system by which they've had a successful life. How do you do that? How do you see a system
that has provided the greatest quality of life in the history of the world, and then run a campaign that would
destroy it. The work ethic, the fact that we don't want free stuff because free stuff makes you
stupid and weak. And the reason people want to come to America is because we busted our ass,
we earned our own way, we live within our means, we save for a rainy day,
and we all give to the needy and help out the truly needy when we witness the needy,
instead of somebody like Beto O'Rourke telling us that his people need a handout when they claim
disability before they go water skiing. I mean, we could go into the gory minutia of the disconnect and the treason of the left, and that they don't believe that America needs secure borders.
Let me put it real clearly, Buttigieg.
If you don't believe America needs secure borders, you are the enemy of America.
Exactly right.
You have locks on your doors for a reason.
The whole socialist, you know, I just read 70% of millennials don't have a problem with socialism.
What this generation needs, Ted, is another Ted Nugent for them.
Well, you know, if you met my band, my crew, I think you figured me out.
I'm pretty easy to figure out.
I get up early.
I bust my ass.
I put my heart and soul into being the best that I can be.
I force myself to be in the asset column for my family, my neighborhood, my community, my state, my country, planet Earth, and the environment.
Ted Nugent is in the asset column of the world. I have planted more trees with these Motor City Madman greasy soul music fingers than anybody you will ever interview.
I plant thousands of trees almost every year since 1970.
I have created forests which help clean air, soil, and water.
air, soil, and water. I have spent gazillions of dollars with conservation charities and hunting licenses and supplies and sporting goods that we tax ourselves to go for game departments,
to go for the regulation enforcement so that wildlife habitat is valuable and that wildlife
habitat is where quality air, soil, and water comes from. The people should just be getting on.
They should genuflect and say, thank you, Uncle Ted, for making life worthwhile.
So when you have people that attack the fundamentals that provided them the quality of life, I guess you just have to kind of furrow your brow momentarily wince and then charge forth doing good anyway.
Sometimes you give the world the best you got, you get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
That's the mantra for the Nugent family, everybody I hang with, my band, my crew, my management, my friends, my brothers, my sisters, my children, my grandchildren.
My management, my friends, my brothers, my sisters, my children, my grandchildren, everybody I know make sacrifices and bust their ass to be in the asset column so that they can give instead of take.
That's why I'm a radical.
What do you say, back to the guns and the hunting, what do you say if a fed knocks on your door as a beta was having a wet dream, even though he's done, but there's still people who believe the horseshit he believes in.
What would you do if a federally knocked on your door and tried, you know, asked you to hand your guns over to him?
How would you handle that situation?
Well, if it was a federally, I'd shoot him in the forehead. Because we all know that the federalities are basically the drug cartel. The entire Mexican government is the drug cartel.
The Mexican army is the drug cartel. I didn't mean federality. I mean, a federal agent from
the United States. Well, one of my federal agents, they'd probably call me ahead of time and we sit down and have a cold Werner's ginger ale and discuss how indecent, how immoral, how constitutional oath violating such a decree is.
And then that federal agent and I would go to their boss and we'd fix him.
I think of you when I watch, like, you know, after a mass shooting that we've had many of the few years and all this hyperbole and all this overreaction. And I think of guys like you. Are you still on the director's board of NRA?
I am. I've been on the board of the National Rifle Association, the greatest family grassroots freedom civil rights organization in the history of the world for over 28 years with the highest votes except for Charlton Heston and I think Ali North.
But yeah, the people believe in me because I'm an absolutist. I know the keep means it's mine. You can't have it. Bear means I have a couple on me right now and they're loaded. Fuck you.
Can't have it.
Bear means I have a couple on me right now and they're loaded.
Fuck you.
You must lose your mind when you're listening to all this pablum after these mass shootings that don't occur as much as the media would like you to believe.
But the first thing they want to do, what don't they understand?
It's not the fucking weapon.
It's the person.
I mean. do what don't they understand it's not the it's not the fucking weapon it's the person i mean well nick nick you know when i was growing up here here it is in a nutshell and i have all the evidence to support what i'm about to say the other side doesn't have any evidence they just got
you know you know comfortably numb influenced dreams here's the evidence. When I was growing up, we had unlimited access to unlimited firepower.
Keep those words in mind. When I was growing up, you could go to Montgomery Wards and buy a machine gun.
When I was growing up, everybody brought their guns to school during the hunting season, or maybe they're just going plinking. When I was growing up,
we had unlimited access to unlimited firearms, zero mass shootings, zero. But we also had this
little thing, very controversial, it's called discipline. We also had a very controversial
thing going on called respect for life. We also had this little crazy idea back when I was growing
up that you actually cared about your fellow man and you were disciplined by parents and school
and society in general as a culture that respected life and respected law and order. That's when I was growing up. Now, you have the
most restricted commodity, this side of plutonium. You have to wait to get a gun. You have to go
through an FBI background check to get a gun. You have to, limited magazine capacity, limited types
of firearms, limited rate of fire, limited type bullets. You can't have hollow points
in New Jersey. You can't buy ammunition in LA. So it's the most restricted commodity, this side of
weapons, plutonium. And now we have mass shootings. Let me tell you the difference. It's not a hardware
issue. It's a heart wear issue. Back when I was growing up, we cared. Today, with the dumbing down of America by an academia who is more in line with Mao Tse Tung than the Constitution, you have people that don't give a shit. have glaring threats in every instance. I've studied every mass shooting.
Everybody knew that goofball was going to start shooting people.
Everybody knew that asshole one and asshole two were making pipe bombs in their garage,
that their mom and dad walked by every night for three years and didn't say anything because
they didn't want to hurt little Johnny's feelings.
My dad would have ripped my head off and shit down my neck.
Nick, are you with me?
I'm talking to Donald Trump.
And yes, I'm with you 100%.
I think there's such an easy solution as far as the school shootings
that you put somebody out front
with a gun and you add extra exit doors in the classroom for them to get out. But that's
just me. Let me ask you, you're saying nobody cares about their neighbor anymore. This is
all true. It's left wing ideology. And we're pushed, not that I'm a religious person, but
we're pushed God on the public square.
How do we change all that?
The fucking libs have their grasp in academia and Hollywood.
How do we turn all this around, Ted Nugent?
Well, Nick, it's so simple, it's stupid.
Thank God we have a president that is as close to Ted Nugent
as you'll ever get in politics.
Absolutely.
We have a shit-kicker crowbar fan in the White House.
This guy is about truth, logic, common sense, goodwill, decency, work ethic, and priorities.
America first.
We should negotiate all contracts with everyone on the globe that benefits America first.
We need to drain the swamp and love for President Donald J. Trump.
This guy is fixing America, draining the swamp, and has reinstituted the battle cry, America first.
We love America. The rest of the world can kiss my ass.
It's so beautiful, I can hardly stand it.
Sometimes I get naked and just dance to Wango Tango with a version of Ginger Ale splashed on my balls
because this guy is so good at what he does.
He really is.
I'm glad you said right into him because that's where I was going.
This guy, like you said, work ethic is unbelievable.
Very, very
smart.
But he's
what's the one I'm looking for?
Well, he has a lot in common with you.
No drugs, no alcohol.
Is he the
greatest president?
Let me ask you, Ted. Is he the greatest
president of your lifetime?
Because he isn't mine, in my opinion.
I believe he's the greatest president since George Washington.
Now, who's that again?
I went to a liberal college.
You know, and by the way, if the liberals want to come, they come to my Facebook.
I'm on my Facebook multiple times every day.
And I've always said this, and I challenge anybody, anywhere, anytime, anyhow to debate me.
Because if you come up and try to challenge my addiction to truth, logic, common sense, and the evidence to support everything I stand for,
I will gleefully and readily eat your family tree and shit sawdust in your face because the Ted Nugent detractors got nothing.
because the Ted Nugent detractors got nothing.
They are consumed by hate and lies,
and I like to dance on their empty skulls with my deer boots and then clean the guts off the cleats later on to feed to my hunting dogs.
I was wondering if anybody heard my new song called Eat, Shit, and Die.
Are you with me, Nick?
You shit me? I've been with you since 1976 when I was 14 years old.
But the beautiful thing is, is everything I'm saying right now is great as Donald Trump is.
He really wants to talk like I do.
He really wants to say these things, but he's got to have some element of decorum.
Me, I don't.
Yeah, me either as a comic.
And I cherish the First Amendment.
And you do, obviously, because you're an artist.
And I don't take it for granted one second.
It's what I love most about stand-up comedy.
And I love that my art form is at the center every time there's a debate about,
ooh, was that too mean?
Did they go over the line? I love that comics
are at the center of this shit.
My friend Dave Chappelle, who's one of the greatest
comics ever, he's getting all the
credit, Ted,
for what I've been doing as a fucking white
guy since
1995.
Help me out with that one.
Well, I got, you know, I've been
such a lucky guy. My God, I got
to hunt with Fred Bear. I
got to race with Parnelli Jones
and Mickey Thompson. I played
bass guitar for Chuck Berry and Bo
Diddley. Nick, are you fucking kidding me?
Did you really? I married
Shemaine Nugent. I opened up
for the Supremes and the Bo Brummel's at
Cobo Hall in 1963. Holy shit.
I mean, I've literally been to the mountaintop of every dream
a rock and roller and a horsepower guy and an American dreamer could have.
But let me tell you, equal to all those amazing gifts that I was given,
I got to hang out at the Comedy Store in L.A.
with Sam Kinison, Richard Pryor, Robin Williams, and Rodney Dangerfield,
and don't underestimate Bruce Willis.
He's a funny son of a bitch.
I thought you said you don't do drugs.
I got the hang of it.
They were all hired.
Shit.
I was the only guy there who was taking care of business, believe me.
But I'm a funny guy, too.
I mean, I'm funnier than all of them because my brain works without the drugs.
And they were all phenomenal talents.
They were gifted super humans, and they were great, great people.
They were great, great, positive people.
But let me tell you, what you're doing as a comedian, I mean, I'm friends with those guys.
They were far left, most of them.
Sam Kinison was with me in most stuff, and Bruce Willis was.
But the rest of them were, I mean, George Lopez is a dear friend of mine.
And this guy is basically a reject from the Mao Zedong School of Venezuela.
But he's a good man.
He has a work ethic.
He has priorities.
He's a conscientious person.
But he thinks he's a liberal, but I'm trying to wake him up that he's not really
because liberals don't have the work ethic that he has. Now, Bill Maher has a great work ethic,
and he's off the fucking charts. But I consider him a friend. I mean, we don't beat each other
up. We have dialogue. And when you're comfortably numb, you kind of lose track with the dialogue
when you're hanging out with Ted Nugent. I'm a little too fast for these people.
But I'm respectful when they stumble, and I even help mop up the spittle in the corner of their mouth,
both literally and figuratively, by the way.
So, yes, First Amendment and opinions matter, but when it gets so vile and obscene
that you don't believe your country needs to be secure,
that you don't know the difference between legal immigrants and illegalene, that you don't believe your country needs to be secure, that you don't know the
difference between legal immigrants and illegal immigrants, when you believe that sanctuary
cities, giving sanctuary to MS-13 is a reasonable policy, when you are so out of your cotton-picking
mind that you know gun-free zones are where the most innocent lives are slaughtered, and
you want more of them?
So you don't believe in any, you know, you want abortion legal, and then you claim it's
your woman's body, she has rights over her body, even after the baby's out of the body
they get to kill them?
Really?
You've got to be fucking kidding me.
These people are gone.
It's planet of the cuckoo's nest.
It's clockwork day glow pink.
It's like Twilight Zone on acid.
So I just keep fighting.
I keep standing up with truth, logic, and common sense.
And thank God my president does the same.
And there's a lot of conservatives out there like yourself. I't know if you're conservative or not but you obviously adhere to
the constitution the bill of rights the ten commandments the golden rule goodwill decency
positive energy and spirit more giving than taking i mean that's the that's the mantra of
conservatives i'm gonna be honest i'm a bit of a selfish cocksucker. But yes, I stand for all those.
And I just can't believe, like you said, we are at this point where people believe in sanctuary cities
and giving free health care and tuition to people who are here illegally.
It just, I see Ilhan Omar, she's out there, now she's on Bernie Sanders' side, saying Bernie Sanders
will end Western imperialism.
This bride with the hijab on her head, 18 years after the worst attack on our country.
How did they get elected, Ted?
And this is in Minnesota, you know, Minnesota, the heart of the country.
How does that happen?
18 years after 9-11?
I mean, Jesus Christ.
Well, here's a perfect example of the left.
They want to eliminate the very foundation of the quality of life that capitalism brings
from being compensated based on talent, sacrifice, and work ethic and ideas that you can provide services and goods and supplies to people who want to purchase them. I mean, duh. But then you have people who
want to eliminate the system by which they've enriched themselves. Then you have someone like
this Omar, good looking bitch, but dumber than a rock.
If she was successful in implementing her agenda, she couldn't be in the position she's
in.
Right.
And all you have to know about them is that they believe in genital mutilation.
Fuck you.
Look, when I was doing cult back, I mutilated a few genitals, but not on purpose.
It was dark, and I don't know what I was doing.
Well, Nick, Nick, I appreciate you opening up an uninhibited, total First Amendment opportunity here.
I consider this the Nick and Ted truth, logic, common sense, we the people, shit kicker campfire.
So I dearly appreciate that.
And I'm glad that you're out there doing what you do.
I do media almost every day, I mean, in between gut and my deer.
And I don't run into any resistance out there.
I mean, they do it behind closed doors.
They're scared to death of me because they know they can't debate me.
They can't debate me.
What, are you going to tell me that genital mutilation is something we should aspire to?
Jeez, oh, God.
So thank you for doing what you do, because, yeah, you have a little bit more creative license as a comedian.
That's why Bill Maher gets away with the stupidity that he spews.
Whenever he wants to make some asinine, anti-American joke, he covers it and claims that it's comedy,
and he has the right to do so,
but he actually believes in that bullshit.
Yeah, that's what scares me. And he gets
away with it because, let's be honest,
his people run the business.
It's
Planet of the Cuckoos.
But I gotta tell you, on a positive note,
Nick, I had the greatest tour
of my life. My band, Jason
Heartless on drums, 23-year-old
animal from Detroit, and Greg Smith on bass guitar. I had the greatest tour, the greatest
crew, the greatest music, the greatest audiences. My guitar tone was absolutely out of body.
And now I'm having the greatest hunting season of my life. There's turkeys and deer, and
there's beaver, and there's coons and squirrels
and doves and pheasants and ducks and geese my dogs are drunk on gut piles um i'm having a real
life liberty and pursuit of happiness every day of my life because i prioritize i give more than
i take and i work my ass off even at 71 years of age. Well there's no doubt about that
you just completed your 59th
tour
6,756
live concerts
I was at number 46
and my ears are still moving
Unbelievable
No seriously you're an inspiration you were when I was
a kid.
And as I followed you as you got older with your politics,
I don't mean to kiss too much ass, but seriously, you're an inspiration.
Let me ask you real quick.
Do you have a son named Rocco?
I do.
Rocco Winchester Nugent, a great, great man.
Yeah.
Well, do you know, that's my middle name and my grandfather's first name.
What do you have, Italian in you that I don't know about?
No, actually, we were hunting in Africa,
and the owner of the ranch that we were hunting on, his name was Rocco Gioia.
And because Rocco was born just before we returned to his ranch,
we loved the name Rocco. I didn't really think of it as an ethnic angle.
I just liked the sound of it.
His middle name is Winchester.
Rocco Winchester Nugent.
Yeah, my oldest boy is Theodore Fleetwood Nugent because I was driving a Cadillac at the time.
This has been unbelievable.
I can't thank you enough for doing this seriously I followed your career
and started when I was 15
double live gonzo
I played that till the needle broke
monster
and
unbelievable as good as it gets
they say greatest guitar player in Detroit's
history how about on the planet
and I'm not
I'm my favorite guitar player I like to history. How about on the planet? Well, you know, I'm my
favorite guitar player. I like to
milk blood and guts out of my Gibson
Birdland, and this year, you know, I got
a studio in my barn here,
a bunch of guitars and amplifiers, and I'm
always dicking around and experimenting,
because I, even at 71,
I crave making this Bo
Diddley, Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Jerry
Lee Lewis music more than ever.
And with my band, with Greg and Jason, God almighty, we go places that God hasn't authorized yet.
In fact, I'm going to have Linda send you a new jam I just did with the great Carmine Apathy on drums,
Tony Franklin on bass, and Kelly Keeling on vocals, a song called Days Are Nights. And you've got to play. You can
play it on your show. It is the ultimate firestorm. All-American shit-kicker roustabout,
hell-raising Motor City firestorm of music you've ever heard. And I love the music now more than
ever. I love the silence of my duck blind and my tree stand.
I love America.
I love freedom.
And I will never, ever rest until we get this swamp drained and we get the criminals out of our government.
And I help Donald Trump every way I can every day.
And one confession before I let you go.
I use the intro to Stranglehold every time I'm introduced
at a comedy venue to bring me on.
Do I owe you any money?
I would.
I'd use that son of a bitch.
When did you come up with that riff?
That pretty much establishes
that if you are capable,
you will get laid.
Exactly.
Ted, it's been a pleasure.
I can't thank you enough
for doing this, man man and I want to
come see a band live
when I have time you got to do it Nick
the band is so good it's like
samurai music man it's just phenomenal
but thank you very much and yeah
you can use Stranglehold I would
use our Wang Dang Sweet Poon Tang
on occasion too just to keep things lively
that I'll do.
All right, Ted, thank you so much.
All right, Nick, live it up, man.
God bless America.
God bless the first responders.
God bless the U.S. military.
And God bless the gut pile of orgy.
Amen.
And God bless the great Ted Nugent.
Great Ted Nugent.
Thank you so much for doing that.
And that is it for today.
We're keeping the show tight.
Don't forget to tune in tomorrow when I talk about having hormone replacement and I provide pictures of what what happened.
Remember, you guys think it.
I will say it.
You're very welcome.
And we will see you on Patreon.
Take care. guitar solo Outro Music