The Nick DiPaolo Show - The Academy Awards Brought to you by BLM | Nick Di Paolo Show #531

Episode Date: April 27, 2021

Woke Oscars draw historically low numbers. Trevor Noah shows his ignorance on policing. BLM attacks Joe Biden....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey guys, I want to thank you for watching the show and I want to encourage you to keep contributing to keep this show and free speech free for everyone, whether they want to hear it or not. Click on this video or the link on the screen to make a contribution of any amount. I'll read your name on the show, but more importantly, you'll truly be supporting a great cause without Big Brother taking their cut or limiting the message. Thank you guys so much. Start some shit, bitch. Sup, fool? You gonna talk shit about me, homie? Where you from? Hundreds of niggas is waiting for your motherfucking call
Starting point is 00:00:50 and they all talking shit about you right now. You wanna sell that shit? Call these motherfuckers ASAP. Yeah, I said some shit. What? Man, fuck you and your bone spurs. The hardest niggas is standing by, ready to pick up that phone. Buff niggas.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Dark niggas. Asian niggas. White niggas. Suck my dick, bitch. Fuck you. 1-2-1-3-3-7-3-4-2-5-3. Just dial, nigga, I'll fuck you up. Deaf niggas.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Classic niggas. Racist niggas. Mystery niggas. Psycho niggas. Dog niggas. Jewish niggas. You got some motherfucking nerds calling me out Shabbat on some little bullshit ass nigga.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Better calm that shit down and come around here and show me some fucking respect before me and my Jewish niggas come up here and beat your ass nigga. Off top. Niggas is talking shit. Call now. $4.99 per minute. guitar solo Yeah! Welcome to the show, ladies and gentlemen. How are you? Tuesday, state of Georgia. What is going on? Stayed up till 3.30, quarter of four. I drank
Starting point is 00:02:48 like four Mountain Dews, which is not a good thing to do around six o'clock. It's like doing meth. And yeah, I couldn't get to sleep. So I was listening to my sets from my last road trip, which is Tampa. I promised when I came home from Tampa, I'd listen to my sets on my recorder. And when was that, Tommy? Two months ago? Two and a half months ago. That very drive home, I'm like, I'm listening to these tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:03:13 And it's the worst thing a comic could do. It's the hardest thing to listen to your own voice. But anyways, I'm boning up for the big weekend in Florida, Port St. Lucie and Boca Raton. So I hope to see you there. What is going on in the news? Oh, California's in the news. That shithole. Everybody's waiting, at least everybody from
Starting point is 00:03:38 the East Coast, waiting for that big earthquake they've been talking about to break that state off so it can float away to fucking wherever it belongs. Doesn't belong here.'s how they should secede by the way anyways but mama's and the poppers i know you guys might be a little young for that. Mama Cash. She was about 5'11", 600 pounds, and she choked on a ham sandwich, apparently. That's the story, and I'm sticking to it.
Starting point is 00:04:13 Anyways, what's going on in California? California losing a seat in the House. Okay? California is losing a seat along with its head, this shitty state. Texas, Florida, and North Carolina are among the states that will gain congressional seats based on new population data from the U.S. Census, a shift that will boost Republican chances of recapturing the U.S. House of Representatives from those dirty, rotten Democrats in the next year's midterm.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Good news, I say. Do you know why they're losing a seat? If you guys don't know how it works, it's based on population. Obviously, the bigger the population, the more seats you have. People are fleeing that shithole. Faster than people are fleeing El Salvador to come to Mexico and to California. And, ugh uh imagine people I lived there for five years and I and this was 1995 to 99 and it was like it was all right and I remember the very day I said
Starting point is 00:05:15 I gotta get the fuck out of LA and I'm not this is a true story I was in the shower I was having a um an argument with an imaginary agent I didn't even sign with. I was yelling, talking to myself, Andy Herbie. And I said, that's it, we're out of here. Luckily, Chris Rock called like a week later, and I fucking moved back to New York. And the rest is history. Now I'm in an attic in Georgia.
Starting point is 00:05:41 But anyway, so they, yeah, they lose the seat for the first time in the history of California. Isn't that pretty much proof you fucked up? Huh? When it's the first census congressional reappointment, blue states losing a seat are California. Let's see what these states have in common. New York, Michigan, Illinois, Pennsylvania. Goddamn Vania. What do they have in common? New York, Michigan, Illinois, Pennsylvania. What do they have in common?
Starting point is 00:06:12 All have shitty left-wing governors who are so drunk on fucking power. California Newsom, they already got a zillion. His parents signed the goddamn petition to recall this asshole. So what more proof do you need, folks? Hey, what kind of omen was that?
Starting point is 00:06:30 Apparently there's a Black Lives Matter ghost in the studio. How much more proof do you need, though? Look at New York. It's a shithole. People fleeing. People fleeing. And you notice where they're fleeing, too, don't you? Yeah, really, red states. Georgia's a red state, by the way. I don't believe the shit that happened. That was all a farce. But look at
Starting point is 00:06:50 Florida. The fucking state's going to break off like California. The whole world is moving to Florida. Red states are losing one seat. Ohio, I don't know how that happened. That's kind of creepy to me. West Virginia, they have like three teeth in the whole state. Who gives a fuck? Blue states gaining a seat. Oregon and Colorado. What? You're an outdoorsman. Oregon, what are you looking to get stabbed in the ass going to a CVS on a Wednesday by some fucking douchebag Antifa entitled white prick? I don't get it. But red states gaining seats. Montana, what are they up to, a half a seat? There's like 11 people in this state. Florida, North Carolina and Texas is gaining two seats. But I thought it was a purple state. I thought it was turning blue.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Biden's been in office for what? Two, three months? It's already a mess. They're overplaying their hands. Anyways, the summary of all that net gain of plus three seats for the red states that's right it really doesn't matter because in my opinion there's gonna be a civil war before the midterms and we'll all be dead but anyways in case that doesn't happen do you know where i can get some musket powder i go to the shooting range and a guy at the shooting range that works, he got mad at me because I wrote Pelosi over one of the paper targets. I thought it was in good taste.
Starting point is 00:08:30 I'm in Florida, but the country's turned into a real fag fest. Anyways, I want to make one more comment about the Academy Awards that I haven't watched since I wrote for them for Chris Rock in 2005. There I am the night before. That's Chuck Sklar on the right. That's me in the middle. Chris looks like an Italian guy on the left. Anyways, that's us talking over Joe.
Starting point is 00:08:56 I had one joke that he said he loved. And Jeff Stilson, the fucking showrunner who me and him were, kind of. We tend to like each other. I had one joke about Tim Robbins. He was accepted an award. I said, Tim Robbins hates Republicans so much, he takes his kids to the circus once a year just to spit on the elephants. Chris fucking loved it. Never saw the light of day.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Anyways, I still got paid. We got a gift basket with almost $70,000 worth of shit in it. And they stopped doing it after that year. But they are an embarrassment. I saw some numbers in 20, in 1997 or 98, 54 million people watched. Even in 2014, they had 43 million. Even in 2014, they had 43 million. They had under 10 million, a 68% drop from last year, which set a record low. Do you think finally, finally, this is all evidence that Trump really won the fucking election. I don't care how you look at it. In delayed fast national results just released by Nielsen. The 93rd Academy Awards were matched, were watched, excuse me, by a mayor at 9.85 million
Starting point is 00:10:08 with a dismal rating of 1.9 among the 18 to 49 demographic, which is the one you want when you're in TV. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. So that is the proof of the far left decline. These fucking blowhards nobody wants to listen to. How dreadful is that? Well, last year's Oscars used to be the lowest rated, like I said, in history. And this year's collapse of 58% below that.
Starting point is 00:10:37 In the key demographic, 25 to 54, the collapse was a whopping 64%. What's the matter? Don't you like to be lectured by people who live in gated mansions and get paid zillions of dollars to say words that somebody else wrote on the paper? You don't want to hear from an actor telling you you're a piece of shit
Starting point is 00:11:04 because you're white uh for comparison just three years ago total viewership dropped below 30 million 30 million for the first time in the ceremony's recorded history hey welcome to the oscars the final numbers will be in later today or tomorrow but but holy cow, who expected this? I mean, other than absolutely everybody who has a fucking brain, the Woketard stink is all over everything related to Hollywood and overall entertainment industry that has made it stridently clear that its long history of entertaining the masses is over. It is no longer about putting on a good show. Instead,
Starting point is 00:11:46 we will be lectured and shamed by elite assholes who think they are too important to sing and dance, which is what they will put on this earth for, or make us frigging laugh. Who the fuck do they think they are? You pompous, stock-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-faced, dickhead, asshole. That was Tim Robbins talking to the audience in 2005 with his acceptance speech. But who wants to sit through that, really, other than a gay Haitian choreographer or somebody who did the short animated, like anybody gives a fuck? Well, as you can see from Sunday night's ratings, less than 4% of the country want to sit through it.
Starting point is 00:12:29 That's a great sign, folks. Do you understand? It's finally coming to light. What for years had been Hollywood's most important night, a night, right, where the country came together to gaze at the stars and enjoy a longish but still entertaining show has now become a chore. Right? Like holding my wife's hand when I come home from work.
Starting point is 00:12:52 It's really difficult. Well, there she is, speak of the devil. That's us at the Oscars, by the way. Look at it. Come on. It looks like we won an award. But an hour after that, I was throwing up in a bucket in the men's room at the uh theater uh anyways but it's like it really is to sit there and listen it is a chore uh it's like homework
Starting point is 00:13:14 the oscars just aren't enjoyable anymore and neither is the product of the film industry produces um the shitty movies i picked up on this, I think the last movie I saw, let me see, in a theater. Let's see. Well, I think it was Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I was eight years old. It is so, unfortunately, folks, my radar was up right after college. I just saw how white guys were being portrayed. I couldn't sit through another movie where like somebody like Angelina Jolie beats up three Marines. I just can't suspend my disbelief. I just fuck it. I picked up on it.
Starting point is 00:13:53 Now I can't watch anything out of Hollywood. Oh, oh, Oliver Stone made Nixon. That should be objective, huh? according to numerous reviews of last night's show which uh like more than 95 percent of americans did not watch uh this was over uh an overlong disaster opened with a lecture from regina king and uh there she is apparently a black butterfly imagine being lectured by her. She's in a $70,000 gown. Make me a BLT, will you, Regina? And rolled all the way downhill from there. These so-called stars are just a cult of pompous, insufferable blowhards who take themselves oh so seriously, even though they have done nothing to earn admiration or respect. They act as though they are superiors when we all know they are nothing
Starting point is 00:14:46 more than hypocrites and liars who carry around $200,000 gift bag on their laps as they give interviews from the back of a limo about the horrors of wealth distribution and capitalism. That's all they do. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it. liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it. The unearned arrogance is bad enough, but you can also sense just how much woke Hollywood hates its own audience, how much they all hate everyday people. This hate just pours out of them like alcohol from my producer Jason's head after Saturday night. These idiots might not have much talent, charisma, or smarts, but they do carry a lot of hostility, don't they? Coming from me, that's a pretty big statement.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Yeah, so thank God. Thank God. I won't sit through that and be lectured. If I want to be lectured about being white and being bad, I'll watch the NFL or ESPN or anything that comes out of Disney. But it's the Academy of Assholes, I call it. Again, did you see this actor, Trevon Free, who won an Oscar for live action short film? Oh, thank Christ. I lost a lot of money on that one. It proves Hollywood is still the epicenter of ignorant, shallow dopes. Check out this lecture slash speech from Trevon Free.
Starting point is 00:16:19 The police will kill three people. And tomorrow the police will kill three people. And you won't be one of them. And the day after that, the police will kill three people. And tomorrow, the police will kill three people. And you won't be one of them, God damn it. And the day after that, the police will kill three people because on average, the police in America every day kill three people. People.
Starting point is 00:16:33 Which amounts to about a thousand people a year. And those people happen to disproportionately be black people. And... Lie, lie, lie. You know, James Baldwin once said... What'd he say? The most despicable thing a person
Starting point is 00:16:46 can be is indifferent to other people's pain and so i just ask that you please or wear a golden black tux look i'm gonna be sensitive to the topic at heart here but this speech starts off with tomorrow hold on pause i want to comment on his little white boyfriend looking at him during the speech. Really? A thousand people get shot. Break down the numbers. You see how they don't put it into context?
Starting point is 00:17:13 How the fuck did these jerk-offs sleep at night? You break it down to, I think, what was it? 300 white guys get shot by the cops as opposed to 150 last year. And then you break those. Most of those are justified. Then you break it down to unarmed and shit and still more white people were shot by the way this is against the backdrop of cops involved in over 10 million interactions a year over 10 million and we're talking about 0.0001 percent that end in gunplay, usually in a black or brown neighborhood, because that's where the fucking crime is. So yes, it's going to be disproportional. It's called disparate impact. They look at the numbers and they, in no context, oh, more black kids are being suspended from high
Starting point is 00:17:58 school than white kids. Must be racism. No, it must be behavior. What other subject on the planet do we do that? We don't dig down into the numbers. That was such a big, they should have played that guy off, sitting up there in his $800 tux with an Oscar award complaining how racist the country, fuck you. Excuse my French. You don't hear this shit on Hannity. Anyways, that's why he's making, what did he make last year? 400 mil? You don't hear this shit on Hannity. Anyways, that's why he's making, what did he make last year?
Starting point is 00:18:24 400 mil? Still say that's out of focus, Jason. But anyways, it must be my fucking eyes. I've had enough of them, you know. You need to shut the fuck up. Ah, please. These blacks. Who knows where they're going to take the wrong way.
Starting point is 00:18:44 I don't understand why this show's not on Sunday morning next to Meet the Press. I just don't, I don't get it. In our Libs Eatin' Libs segment tonight, my favorite segment, Black Lives Matter is, guess what,
Starting point is 00:18:55 pointing the finger at Joe Biden, of all people, for purportedly escalating militarized police violence against black communities in America.
Starting point is 00:19:04 Don't make me defend this fucking jerk off who's really not the president. That's how left field Black Lives Matter is. They're making me defend the guy who's so full of shit. And we know he's just a empty vessel for AOC and Pelosi to dump their liberal shit in. He's the Kermit frog. And again, Jim Henson is AOC, whatever the fuck violent uh violence against black militarized violence against black communities in america uh they asked joe about it he said what are we doing what's going on right now go back to the bingo table yeah you jello's getting warm uh the activist group recently blasted biden on. They put a tweet up. It says Biden's first hundred days are up, are up in 10 days. Biden's first hundred days are up in 10 days. Boy, if I could do math.
Starting point is 00:19:54 By then we need him to end 1030, which transfers military equipment into the hands of police across the country, including school and campus police. Another example, the military you see on your streets ahead of the show. That I'm not arguing with that part of it because that bothers me too. But you know what this is, folks? There's the National Guard's in like seven cities right now. They're getting used, getting you used to the idea of the military being in your neighborhood like it is in most third world dictatorships. That's where we're headed. It should creep you the fuck out. But as far as it being in mostly black neighborhoods, yes, because the average drug dealer has more weapons than half the Marines that walk around the base. So, but
Starting point is 00:20:39 that's how far left they are. BLM's getting mad. So they want him to end 1033. But it does make you nervous. Remember the marathon bombing in Boston? I don't know. My buddy was a cop for 33 years, and he believes all this shit. And he's right, though. He goes, did you notice the first vehicles, the first responders were like black trucks with no names on them and shit?
Starting point is 00:21:03 It was a little creepy. But what you're watching is a country, somebody said this yesterday, it's a great quote, you're watching a country, these are growing pains of a country that's going from one form of government to another. It's not good, folks. The military you see out on your streets ahead of the Chauvin verdict, they're making you get used to that. Biden's currently sending more military equipment to our neighborhoods than Trump did. Imagine that. This is BLM actually giving Trump a thumbs up, kind of.
Starting point is 00:21:38 He said, you read that right. Our communities are being terrorized, again, hyperbole, at a greater rate than they had been under Donald Trump. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, and some are Detroit Lions defensive backs. But you know, hold the laughter down, guys. All right. Hold the laughter down, guys. All right. There's a picture of somebody come up with a black senator quick. Fucking insurrection. People go to me, wasn't an insurrection horrible? I go, yeah, it was. Nobody had guns. Nobody really got hurt except an innocent white woman. Oh, the violence was horrible. They broke Nancy Pelosi's nameplate. I think Dick Durbin got white out on his tie. What fucking violence? I wanted to see somebody come out of there with Pelosi's tits on a platter. Anyways, you'll know when it's a real insurrection. BLM also issued a press release further excoriating Biden for not defunding the police
Starting point is 00:22:42 quickly enough. And I think this picture says we really need to defund the police, doesn't it? Good idea. Crime is through the roof in almost every major city that's run by Democrats. Let's get rid of the cops. And by the way, let's get rid of your guns. So when all these scumbags are running free, committing crime, there'll be no cops to help you, and you'll have no guns. Where are we headed, folks?
Starting point is 00:23:08 Screens continue to be filled with state-sanctioned violence against black people. Another big lie, the group claimed. And when peacefully protested in the name of black lives. Here's an example of peaceful protesting. What the fuck? Looting a footlocker and burning down a Wendy's? Yeah, that's just like John Lennon. I think he wrote a song about it.
Starting point is 00:23:31 And the name of black lives were met with violence from police. But when white supremacists stormed the Capitol, they couldn't be any more wrong. And I'll tell you why. When they stormed the Capitol in January, the white supremacacist which they weren't some of them were antifa they were invited and posed for pictures with the police really is that right you're lying and you're a piece of shit let me let me help blm fucking try to give them a clue uh januaryth, you know, there's people charged with trespassing, white people, by the way. By the way, they threw away all the FISA warrants and shit. And literally, they literally went to a data bank.
Starting point is 00:24:16 So everybody that was in D.C. that was like a white person that day, whether ATM records. You know, there's people who are charged with trespassing that is still in jail. Still in jail? One of them we talked about, the kid with the fur on, remember the Viking helmet? He got beat up by three guards in prison and was unconscious for almost 10 hours. But let's not talk about that.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Well, maybe he deserved it, but listen. Yeah, still in jail since January 6th. Meanwhile kamala harris fucking don cheetle steve carell were bailing out rapists and fucking um ex-cons right out of jail when the shit went down in minneapolis last year the vice president was helping raise money with the hollywood celebs and this guy thinks that BLM is being treated unfairly. Meanwhile, there's white fucking housewives still in jail from January 6th. No response for Lita. This is the Black Lives person. Should be increasing the weapons police have access to. And if President Biden cares about the countless black folks
Starting point is 00:25:26 who showed up to put him in office, he would recognize that. I still believe it's mostly white progressives, but yeah, you 11 people that showed up, good for you. Well, so that's BLM side of the story, but you want to hear the truth? Are you interested in the real story? You're goddamn right
Starting point is 00:25:45 i am uh property insurance data estimates that 140 of the black lives matter protests in 2020 cost communities get this between 1 billion and 2 billion with a b and damages hundreds of police officers were injured in blml protests in 2020. Two of them were killed. BLM was linked to over 91% of riots in a three-month period last year, which gave rise to numerous innocent civilian deaths. One particularly tumultuous period led to at least 19 deaths.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Is that really surprising? They're a Marxist organization whose mission statement is to take over the goddamn, get rid of the United States government. The death toll from two weeks of demonstrations over the death of George Floyd continues to creep upward with at least 19 people, a majority of whom are black, now dead. Forbes reported that, which kind of surprised me right after I found out what the best selling Buick was. And Forbes is reporting on deaths. Must be money involved. While activists claim there is an epidemic of police shootings of unarmed black males in America,
Starting point is 00:27:00 the Washington Post, you know that real right wing publication? The Washington Post, you know that real right-wing publication? Washington Post police shooting database underscores how rare it is for an unarmed black guy to be shot by a white cop. Its report of police killings of unarmed black males in 2019 was a total, get this, of 11 cases. If you watch CNN, you'd think it was 11,000. There was an uptick in 2020 at 17 such cases. And in 2021, there are four cases as of this date. A trend line of an expected 10 to 12 cases.
Starting point is 00:27:40 These cases may be tragic, but there is not a goddamn epidemic of such cases in a population of 20 million black males in the United States. Just the facts, ma'am. See, but they don't want to, they won't admit those facts. Like the jerk off at the Oscars, three cops kill three people every day. They just don't put it into context. What I've learned in the last five years is how racist a lot of black people are. Not all of them. Again, I chose to move to a city
Starting point is 00:28:06 that was 60-40 black because I believe what Barkley said, most black and white people are pretty good people. But the ones that aren't, they hate whitey way more than whitey hates them. Trust me.
Starting point is 00:28:17 I've been saying that since Tough Crowd. But nobody wants to bring that up. But you hit them with facts and what do they do? They ignore them. Let's go on to some more race-related news. Can somebody tell white people they're in a race war? You can call it a slow-motion riot, whatever you want to call it.
Starting point is 00:28:36 Why am I saying that? Well, how many cop incidents have we shown in the last couple of weeks, mass shootings, all that? Yesterday, here's another little one, not really tremendously tragic, but just a sign of the times how sick this country is. A man, it says a man in the article, I'll say it, a black man struck a white NYPD detective over the head with a plastic stick on Monday in a broad daylight attack that took place as the officer was investigating another crime. That's how bad New York City is under de Blasio. A cop is processing a crime scene. He's a victim of a crime.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Can you make this shit up? And you voted for him, New York. Same people that are fleeing. Don't let the fucking bullet ridden door hit you in the ass on the way up. The uniformed cop was processing the scene of a robbery in Queens at around 11.50 a.m. when he was assaulted. Let's take a look at this piece of shit savage. There's something wrong with the black man's mind! There's something wrong with his mind! Can you run faster?
Starting point is 00:29:55 All right. I think your brain is going soft. Just walks up and hits the guy with a stick in the face. But it's white old men who are the problem. There's an old white man doing police work, getting struck by a young black male. I'm sure Don Lemon's going to run that on a loop, you fucking goo gobbler. Nick, there's no need for that talk. I don't care.
Starting point is 00:30:18 The way they treated Trump, all bets are off. Okay? Remember that. What happened, someone asks, as the attacker saunters away? Oh, you know what happened. A young black man was helping an old white guy into a cab. You mother's ass. What happened, someone asked, as the attacker saunters away and crosses the street?
Starting point is 00:30:36 Another cop and a man who appeared to be a bystander could then be seen taking off after him. In the old days, if a cop, somebody did that to a cop another cop was there you'd hear this don't you move you motherfucker blow your brains out that wasn't the good old days that was how it should be black people would go that's the good old days vote no that's how it is if that guy was white and did that to a cop i was in the parking lot of the golden banana in peabody massachusetts which was a strip club in the town next to mine. Bachelor party I was there for. A brawl broke out in the parking lot after.
Starting point is 00:31:09 And I was just standing there. I wasn't even in the fight. I was about four. I was sauntering towards the pile. The cops show up. One of them whacks me in the back of the leg with a knife. I didn't say shit. Akeely Morgan, 25, of the Bronx. There he is.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Well, he looks like he probably went to Harvard. Or he stabbed somebody on the campus at DeVry. You guys, Tez. Akeely Morgan, 25, of the Bronx, was arrested not far from the scene on 39th Avenue near Prince Street in Flushing, police said. But look at him. He seems like a nice kid, huh? said but look at him he seems like a nice kid huh don't tell me the uh they're not the most violent race on the planet oh nick you're painting with a bro i'm talking about the small percentage of
Starting point is 00:31:55 black not the again i already i'm sick of prefacing everything you know how i feel he was charged with assault criminal profession, criminal profession of a weapon. Apparently he makes his own knives out of soap. Criminal possession of a weapon, resisting arrest and disorderly contact and disorderly conduct. And a horrible weave. The detective suffered a gash to his head, but he's white, nobody cares. A whip mark harking back to the slavery days. Ooh, this is retribution. Anyways, that's what his union said. No motive was immediately provided for the attack.
Starting point is 00:32:35 Well, it doesn't have to be a motive. There was a white cop there doing his job and a young black male. No motive needed. Once again, New York has witnessed just how emboldened violent criminals are. DEA President Paul DiGiacomo said in a statement, if there's anyone wondering why this has happened, he asked the question. And of course, everybody says,
Starting point is 00:32:56 that's a sick question. You're a sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. That was his lawyer, the black guy's lawyer. They can ask their elected officials who have created a city of no consequences for criminality. End of story. Jason, how many more minutes do we have to go? We're at what? Eight, so we have 17 more, right? 38, okay, quarter of four, right? Okay, okay that's it i just gave you um so they just don't get it you know it's getting worse every day i it's unbelievable part of me is excited because
Starting point is 00:33:36 it's uh the left is finding out what they voted for and shit you know what and they don't like it already it's only been about 90 days but But I get disappointed in certain black people who are way smarter than, but they're part of the game, whether it's people on CNN, lawyers or whatever. Trevor Noah, I met this guy. He's the one who replaced Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. Somebody could call him. I need a shaving brush. Anyways, I met him at the Comedy Cell years ago when he first came to New York. Decent guy. And I don't believe a word out
Starting point is 00:34:08 of his mouth. He seemed too smart when I talked to him. But I'm sure they're paying him big bucks. And he's getting dumber by the minute doing this show. Unless he's a great actor. If he believes the shit that comes out of him. That and he has cancer of the funny bone and the mustache of an 8th grader. Trevor Noah, I'm
Starting point is 00:34:24 on the fence about him. I can't decide whether he is more stupid than unfunny or more unfunny than stupid. I'm waffling, you know what I'm saying? But here's his take, like every other dunce who votes Democrat, here's his take on policing in the United States. Roll.
Starting point is 00:34:42 One question that kept on nagging in my brain, and the question was, Brain? Where are the good apples? Because we're told time and time again that these incidents that black Americans are experiencing Pause. First lie.
Starting point is 00:35:01 Just black Americans? Again, more white guys were shot by cops than black guys. Lie number one, Trevor. Do you know that? You have to know it because it's been fucking said a thousand times now since all these shootings. That's number one. Where are the good apples? You know, the black girl who was about to stab a black girl a couple of days ago and a white cop saved her life by shooting the girl with a knife.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Is that a good apple? No, not according to you and black lives matter. He's a piece of shit too. And white progressives you're so fucking wrong. It's hilarious. I know you're not that dumb. I met you. We were the good apples. Cops have tens of millions of interactions a year with the public and 0.0001% ended gunplay. So that would be where are the good apples? There's a zillion of them. They say a few bad apples, few being the operative word. Okay, Trevor, they must be paying you a lot of shit to lie right to the camera. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Because of bad apples, right? There are bad apples in these police departments who are doing these things. They use chokeholds that are not allowed. They use excessive force. They're violent in their words and their actions to the people they're meant to be protecting and serving. These are bad apples. We've got to root them out of the force. He just described George Floyd.
Starting point is 00:36:27 Violent, bad actions. You're so stupid. Go ahead. Question though is, where are the good apples? I just told you. Just told you. What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul. The Daily Show. Uh-oh, retard alert. Retard alert. At least Jon Stewart, and again, it was left-leaning and way too liberal for me, but, you know, once in a while, they would accidentally stroll into the middle of the yard. But, you know, they got a black guy from South Africa. So you cowards at Comedy Central,
Starting point is 00:37:15 or anybody in show business that wears a suit, you are the fucking problem. You spineless, white, progressive pussies. And you've been playing with fire, not so much Comedy Central. CNN, MSNBC, progressive pussies. And you've been playing with fire, not so much comedy, CNN, MSNBC, all the usual stuff. You've been playing with fire as far as race goes for almost 30 years.
Starting point is 00:37:32 You kept bringing the match near the gas can. And you know what? Finally, it lit. Here we are. It's your fault. Blood on your hands, CNN, Don Lemon, fucking Wolf Blitzer, and anybody else who's ever worked in the last 30 years,
Starting point is 00:37:46 MSNBC, NBC, the blood is on your hands. And they're coming for you, by the way, if the shit goes down. I'm praying. I dream every night. I have dreams about Nancy Pelosi's house or gated house. It looks like Scarface, you know, when he's in his room and they're all climbing all over his,
Starting point is 00:38:05 climbing over the fence. That's Pelosi's house. They're all dressed in black. She ends up falling face first into an indoor pool in her big leathery tits, act as a flotation device. And she dies anyways. Anyways, that's just a wet dream I had. In our FLA segment tonight, Florida. Haven't talked about them for three minutes. Once again, in Florida, the Polish are out of control. A caught-on video brawl erupted Sunday at Miami International Airport over airline seats with one person arrested.
Starting point is 00:38:37 I read the headline, because I'm a racist, I said, gotta be black people. Nick, why would you say that? Well, because I've seen 11 of these fights at airports in the last year, all black people. I hate to draw a conclusion, you know. I hate to take an information then draw a logical conclusion. But you do that today, that's racist thinking. That's 59-year-old white guy thinking. Now what that is.
Starting point is 00:38:59 Anyways, another fight. It's always Miami International Airport. Anyways, another fight. It's always Miami International Airport. Put them up. Put them up. Footage posted on Twitter by documentary, like we had a filmmaker, documentary film director Billy Corbin shows two separate groups punching and kicking each other at gate D14.
Starting point is 00:39:20 That's a bad neighborhood in the American Airlines term. Of course, American's the operative word. This is a uniquely American phenomenon. I'm telling you. That's a bad neighborhood in the American Airlines term. Of course, American's the operative word. This is a uniquely American phenomenon. I'm telling you. What would we do without iPhones? We'd probably enjoy each other's company because we wouldn't know what a cesspool we are. A witness told Local 10 News that seven people were involved in the incident.
Starting point is 00:39:44 Eleven of them were black. What? That doesn't even. I think there were involved in the incident. 11 of them were black. I, what? That doesn't even, I think there were guys and girls involved, but I noticed the guy with his pants down. We'll get to it in a second. So the fight started over seats available on the plane. It was a standby. There was a group of four who didn't want to be split up.
Starting point is 00:40:03 There was only three seats left. Then a group of three black people showed up and the airline said, would you like the seats? Then there was words between, because again, that's how adults act, right? Instead of just being gracious and going, hey, we lost out. No, let's have a violent fight over it.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Because they have no, what's the skills when you kind of conflict conflict resolution conflict shit you learned in third fourth grade you know you have to have two parents though little details like that to grow up not becoming a fucking savage and um you know enough is enough i have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane. That was the head pilot, they said. Airport officials said police immediately responded to the scene. I didn't see him.
Starting point is 00:40:54 But let's take a look at the action. The first thing that jumps out to me is the kid with his pants down. They weren't pulled down. This is how he wore them to the fight. Watch the blue underwear. Stop it. They weren't pulled down. This is how he wore them to the fight. Watch the blow on the way. Not him. Yeah, right there. There you go. Now he's involved. Hey! Hey! Stop. Why are you? Why are you doing?
Starting point is 00:41:27 Why do you stop? Is that Liberace? Why do they act like that? Black people, they fight too much. Look at this. Look at this. Oh, boy. You're watching western civilization become unglued right right before your eyes you're watching rome burn thanks to uh apple phones and you're watching it
Starting point is 00:41:56 go folks you're watching the fabric that holds us together melt because of 13 of the population roughly nick that's well that's just my opinion that's just my opinion. Who's an animal? Your mother's an animal, you son of a bitch! Little safety tip. If you see a kid wearing his pants lower than his IQ, get the fuck away from him. I'm gonna fucking smash his fucking face in. The suspect in the melee,
Starting point is 00:42:19 which is a French word, by the way, for fight, and I didn't see any Frenchmen involved. Southern France, they must have been. The suspect in the melee has been identified as 20-year-old, of course, Jamil Tremaine de Cor, former cornerback for the defensive Detroit Lions. According to Local News 10. So they got him.
Starting point is 00:42:38 They got him. How about the other eight people involved? Who was arrested? I'm guessing the kid with the, do you know why they wear their pants like that, right? Very comfortable. I'm doing it now. No, that's a prison thing.
Starting point is 00:42:53 It tells you that you're up for anal action or you're not. It's one of the two. I better straight, I better learn that before I get hauled in there for something. Under a Biden, who knows what it'll be? Spitting on the White House lawn that's the world under Joe Biden and if you think that's crazy enough or not crazy enough how about get this I think they're trolling us with this story I I honestly I think they're trolling us Andrew Cu Cuomo, you know, Fonzie,
Starting point is 00:43:26 the guy who has 28 women charging him with sexual assault, the guy who killed more old people than rancid bottles of Ensure. This guy, pull my finger, it's hilarious. Cuomo, the leading cause of death in all people in New York, is now, get this, the COVID czar. Embattled New York Governor Andrew Cuomo
Starting point is 00:43:46 has reportedly taken over the leadership of the weekly White House conference calls with nation's governors about the coronavirus pandemic since President Joe Biden does not join them. Biden and Kamala Harris don't join these conference calls. They don't even bother calling in. He's probably napping. Is this moron number one? Yeah. Put moron number two on the phone. Kamala, Philip Wegman of Real Clear Politics
Starting point is 00:44:12 reported Monday that Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris have both opted not to join the conference calls with the governors. Unlike former President Trump and Vice President Mike Pence, Wegman's reporting was confirmed during Monday's White House press briefing. Press Secretary Jen yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, Saki demanded to know how many governors he had spoken with and insisted Biden had never intended to join the calls, despite Biden pledging a conference call with governors after he was elected in November. He said it worked closely with them once he took office. He said that, but not that Jen Psaki has to lie for him. You get that little red beaver right up there and funny.
Starting point is 00:45:00 I don't think it's crazy at all. Love red Beaver. That was the name of a college team, wasn't it? The Red Beavers? In addition, Wegman reported that Governor Cuomo is now leading. This is like Clinton leading the Girl Scouts. Now leading the weekly conference calls between the governors and the Biden administration's coronavirus team
Starting point is 00:45:24 due to his role as head of the National Governors Association. He's the head of the National Governors Association when he's not grabbing tits and strangling old people and hitting them with bedpans. White House Press Secretary Jen Redbush Saki explained that the New York governor was put in charge. Here comes the biggest lie since she's been in there. And he was put in charge, Cuomo, instead of the vice president because a change was needed.
Starting point is 00:45:51 One of the reasons Saki told reporters in March, and here comes the gobble gob that comes out of Democrat politicians. You can't even understand what they're saying. They're just filling time with words. It sounds important, but it's all wrong. She says the reason they needed to change is that there were operational aspects of the way the last administration approached COVID and approached the distribution of vaccines
Starting point is 00:46:14 or approached planning and engagement with governors that wasn't working. You snotty little bastard. Let me get this right. It was Trump's fault. That's why you mean, oh, I understand. It was Trump who actually got praise from Democrat governors, Democrat business people about warp speed and how fast he got the vaccines to the market.
Starting point is 00:46:44 Doctors praised him. People that didn't like him praised him. Now you're trying to blame this on Trump. The one thing that almost everybody agreed on, he did good. Can you fucking imagine the gall? I feel she's actually great at her job. I got to be honest because she has to really, they always said Trump lied. She has to defend. Unbelievable. Yeah, it sucks what Trump did. Coming up with vaccines in 11 seconds that most people said would take five years. What a jerker. I call this next guy flopping Fauci. Well, he sounds like Dan Adam and a comedian friend of mine who's very, very funny, by the way. He reminds me of him.
Starting point is 00:47:38 But Fauci weighed in on wearing masks outside as, again, you know, he's flip flop back and forth. Yet we're still going to this guy for advice. It's it's it's absolutely mind boggling. But rememberoggling. But remember now, he was never elected to anything. Yeah, people are following him. He's a puppet to the World Health Organization and the Chinese. He knew Bill Gates' dad. He's got money in Big Pharma, I was told, stocks and shit. I'll have to look it up. So he has to keep the ball in the air, keep you guessing. He's not going to come out and go, you know what? It's over. Take off the mask. It's silly, even though we all know that's the truth. Here he is weighing in on whether we should be wearing masks. You know, I don't want to get ahead of them, George, but I think it's pretty common sense now that outdoor risk is really, really quite low, particularly, I mean, if you
Starting point is 00:48:22 were a vaccinated person wearing a mask outdoors, I mean, obviously the risk is minuscule. What I believe you're going to be hearing, what the country is going to be going to be hearing soon is updated guidelines from the CDC. The CDC is a science-based organization. They don't want to make any guidelines unless they look at the data and the data backs it up. But guidelines unless they look at the data and the data backs it up. But when you look around at the common sense situation, obviously the risk is really very low, particularly if you're vaccinated. He just won't go that final step. It's always like, yeah, I mean, there's a one in a zillion chance, but wear those masks anyways.
Starting point is 00:49:03 You know what I'm saying? Because if you take them off and everybody's fine, like the 40,000 people that went to the Texas Rangers opening baseball game, the 15,000 that watch the UFC fight, you know, that's just evidence that we don't need the mask. So if you guys could do me a favor, the ones in the dumb blue states, keep wearing those because we know you're virtual signaling. And that way we will keep you guys off balance and confused and guessing. It's working out beautiful. This guy, he pisses me off.
Starting point is 00:49:31 Again, I'm only 49% of the time, but this guy really fries my butt. You goddamn guineas really make me laugh. I take your brother in. Anyways, he went on to say, the more we take a look at the data as it accumulates we see uh is even more effective than effective than what the initial uh that was written horribly by whoever wrote it which is more effective than initial numbers of the clinical trial and we're doing very well he said going on to note that we now have more than 30 percent of the adult population they're fully vaccinated boy how thick is this guy's uh wallet at this point give me the money give me the fucking money
Starting point is 00:50:11 you hear me you hear me i should come here bust my body give me the fucking money he encouraged americans who had received their first vaccine shot to make sure to get the second one well of course he did. Next year, they said you're going to have to shoot cream cheese into your feet. I can't take it no more. Shut up. Mind your fucking business and shut up. Don't tell me to shut up. Fauci, Fauci's take has been one of the abundant, one of abundant caution.
Starting point is 00:50:42 Yeah, you can say that. Or like I said, keep people guessing. Throughout the pandemic, though, in some cases, what he has been cautious about has changed. At the beginning of the pandemic, Fauci had taken up the World Health Organization, I should say China's view, that masks were no good. That makes sense. China would say that at the beginning, right? They're like, no, that stuff will make you sicker. Don't put those on. Remember, he said they should not be one.
Starting point is 00:51:12 But later on, after evidence of this being around and people walk around being fine without him, he later said this was due to a perceived personal protective equipment supply shortage. That's why he was saying that. I've combed the archives. I can't find him saying that at all. Fauci had also previously recommended double masking, which he should do because he has two fucking faces, to ensure a tight fit. You know, like put on two condoms feels great that rubber digging into your pubes he was a vocal opponent of uh holiday gatherings uh from thanksgiving through christmas you know why that's the one thing he got right about this whole thing i want to thank our the people who send money to the show because um it us alive. You can be a monthly
Starting point is 00:52:07 subscriber, which we really love, or you can contribute every day at nickdip.com, thecomicsgym.com, Patreon, whatever. I want to thank one-time contributors, Eric Himonen, New York, Jimmy Dempster, Georgia, Michael Lyons, Arizona, John O'Brien, Texas, James Romanelli, New York, Jimmy Dempster, Georgia, Michael Lyons, Arizona, John O'Brien, Texas, James Romanelli, New York, Jerry Galea, Florida, Jeremiah LaJoy, California, France Grissom, Oklahoma, Maya Flamingo, California, Ron Raymond, New Jersey, Michael Cullen, Florida, Wendy Cooney, Alabama, Jerome Judge, Georgia. Stephen Murray, Massachusetts. Angelo DiMatteo, New Jersey. Mark Evans, Ohio.
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Starting point is 00:53:05 This is a movement now. We have a few yucks, but it's a goddamn movement. And we thank you very much. Don't forget Cameo.com. If you want me to make a personal video roasting one of your friends or relatives, go to Cameo.com, click on my profile, and I will make it on my phone, a minute, minute and a half, and we'll ruin or make the day.
Starting point is 00:53:23 I'll say happy birthday to your girlfriend, whatever you like. Go to nickdip.com to see where I'll be when I'm doing stand-up. Click on the tour button. That is it. You guys think it, I will say it. You are very welcome. We'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow. Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.

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