The Nick DiPaolo Show - Third-World Sh*t Hole Caravan Continues On
Episode Date: October 22, 2018Caravan of Crud Creeps On. Third World Invasion. The NFL’s Flag Problem (too Many Yellow Ones). Progressive Insurance’s White Emasculation Ads....
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🎵 oh yeah how you doing folks it's monday again jesus h how you doing 833-599-nick
833-599-6425 is the phone number. Real quick, dates.
If you guys are listening, if you're watching, you can read along. Or you go to nickdip.com and find my tour dates.
This Saturday night, I'll be right up here in the area.
Lucy's in Pleasantville, New York.
Saturday night.
Saturday and Sunday, November 2nd and 3rd, Governor's in Levittown, Long Island.
Tuesday, November 6th, the Fat Black Pussycat, New York City.
Friday, November 9th and 10th,
that's Comics, Mohegan Sun, Untersville, Connecticut.
Saturday, November 17th, The Comedy Shop of Bud Lake, New Jersey.
Friday, November 30th and December 1st,
The Corner Comedy Club, Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada.
Monday, December 1st, New Year's Eve,
ringing in 2019 at the Tarrytown Music Hall
in Tarrytown, New York.
Saturday, January 12th,
the Fairfield Theatre Company
in Fairfield, Connecticut.
Saturday, January 19th,
Bobby B's Windsor Locks, Connecticut.
Be there, be a queer!
Yeah, go to nickdip.com
for all your ticket information.
And hope to see you there.
You have to support live comedy
because, again,
you can only make so much money
selling weed during the day
and I have to tell dick jokes
to drunk people
at a fucking bowling alley.
That's what it's come down to.
Let me take a sip of my
Bailey's slash Kahlua
slash coffee
slash Gatorade
slash Cremora.ade slash cream aura.
The breakfast of champions.
How you doing?
All right.
I'm doing all right.
A lot of shit on tap today.
I just got this in the story.
A judge rules that Michael Avenatti, you know, that fucking snake, that slimy, you know, stormy Daniels porn lawyer.
Yeah. That slimy, you know, Stormy Daniels porn lawyer. Yeah, well, he must pay $4.85 million to an attorney who worked at his law firm.
A California judge ruled that today, making it the first time that a potential presidential candidate,
I still don't believe he's going to run, this piece of shit,
is being held personally liable in the lawsuit over back pay.
L.A. Superior Court Judge Dennis Landon ordered the payout by Avenatti
because he had personally guaranteed a settlement
with attorney Jason Frank.
Frank alleged that Avenatti's firm misstated its profits
and that he was owed millions of dólares.
He told the AP that Frank owes him and the firm
$12 million for his fraud.
That's what Avenatti said.
He did not provide details and declined
to comment further. It's unclear whether Avenatti
has filed any litigation
in the matter against Frank, whose attorney
said Frank doesn't owe this
motherless fuck a dime. I add that
for emphasis.
Frank had worked at Avenatti's
former firm under an independent
contractor agreement
and was supposed to collect 25% of its annual profits, along with 20% of fees his clients paid.
The action Monday comes after a U.S. bankruptcy court judge
ordered Avenatti's former firm to pay $10 million to Frank in May.
The $4.85 million for which Avenatti is now personally liable is in addition to that judgment.
There he is.
Look at that slimy, cheese-eating dinkweed.
What a fucking scumbag.
But he's going to run for president on the Democrat ticket,
so that's the kind of people you're dealing with over there.
You know, really?
After all that shit?
After all the stuff with Kavanaugh, him bringing, you know, those two women, the one Swetnick, said that, you know, Kavanaugh was the head of gang rape parties.
And you still, you really think, you know what, in this sick world, I'll probably get elected.
That's the sad thing.
When you get CNN and ABC and CBS and NBC doing your bidding for you,
you're always in the game.
But this guy's a real dinkweed.
And he had that other woman, Ramirez,
who said that Kavanaugh put his penis in her face.
Remember, they both quietly went back under the rocks they came from,
but he's still out there.
Let's see how many appearances he makes on The View when they poll and he's, uh, his unpopularity is 78% and he's getting one half of 1% of the
vote. Let's see if Joy Behar and the other pig face, uh, Whoopi Goldberg has them on the show
and all the other stations. He was a media darling during the Kavanaugh things. Boy,
do they just use people like condoms and drop them in the turlet.
The turlet.
So let's hope he dies tonight in his sleep
or he's shot in front of his family.
One or the other.
Well, why do you have to go there, Nick?
Because it's my show and I do what I want.
I report, I decide.
Hey, I think we got a new slogan.
833-599-NICK. 833-599-nick 833-599-6425 what's the big uh story everybody's
oh the caravan the uh caravan what a bunch of did you see pictures of the caravan you see all the
engineers and doctors they're sending over look Look at that. First of all, I see young males
from parts of the world
that have killer crime rates and violence.
And I don't see many moms or babies in there.
Take a good hard look at that.
Where do you think you're going?
Seriously.
Here's when you wish somebody from ISIS
revved up their truck.
Seriously.
Here's when you wish somebody from ISIS revved up their truck.
Like a New York City fucking sanitation truck with a Trump bumper sticker on it. It just goes right down the middle of these people at a thousand miles an hour.
And you see nothing but sombreros and pointy boots flying through the air.
And no deodorant.
Nick, what do you got?
Look at all those fucking weed whacker operators,
future landscape rules and pool boys and rapists.
You got to remember, they're coming from Honduras, El Salvador.
Seriously, highest crime rates on the planet, murder rates.
But yeah, they all look pretty well educated.
rates on the planet, murder rates and, and, uh, but yeah, they all look pretty well educated. And, and, um, if one of those people in that crowd of thousands owns a pair of dress shoes,
I will shit my pants. There you go. There you go. Leaving home Depot and Briarcliff
headed to build a stone wall somewhere.
Or they're heading to the L.A. Dodgers' bullpen
to watch their cousins, Ray Ray,
who came over on a fucking raft.
He's starting tonight.
How about that, by the way?
Huh?
Didn't even have that on the schedule.
How about them Red Sox?
Time for a little song.
Though April showers may come your way,
they bring the flowers that bloom in May.
So if it's raining, have no regrets.
What are you doing?
The fuck?
I'm doing acapella here.
You just fucking Jason
had the lyrics.
He knocked them out of my head.
Somebody get the,
open the septic tank cover.
Had the whole song down.
Embarrassing.
You're going to play guitar to it. Back to the,
anyways, the caravan. Yeah, it's a beautiful caravan, is it not? By the way, we're doing
the show live as usual, right? We'll do it live. Okay. We'll do it live. Fuck it.
I want all of you to enjoy your cake.
So, enjoy.
Nick, do you have any caravan music?
Sure.
That's not the caravan I was hoping for.
Let me show you the caravan that I was hoping for.
And that what we would all like to see.
This is the caravan and that's who comes out of it.
One little white kid.
He's being laughed at by the sheriff of a power county.
Okay.
Didn't it show him getting off the bus, Jace?
No?
They did their fancy
dissolve?
The group's advance has drawn
strong criticism for the president.
Is that right? Great reporting. Thanks.
After blaming the Democrats
for weak laws in quotes on immigration
a few days earlier trump said via twitter what did he say via twitter that's not it the caravans
are a disgrace to the democrat party change the immigration laws now in another tweet he said the
migrants would not be allowed into the united states. Mexican President-elect Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador
suggested Sunday that the U.S., Canada, and Mexico
work out a joint plan for funding development
in the poor areas of Central America and Southern Mexico.
What the fu- why?
Why is it our responsibility?
No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Why is it our responsibility? no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no that's absolute baloney. He said if a group of people were coming down the street and they were jealous because your house was nicer than theirs
and they tried to invade your house,
you wouldn't be giving them
all these niceties.
You'd bitch slap them.
I added emphasis.
So yeah,
why is it upon us
and Canada and,
huh?
Why is it upon the United States taxpayers?
This is all planned, folks.
I don't even know. This is how cynical I am.
Okay? And this is, I don't know if it's cynical
or not. I think Trump is this bright.
I think he cut a deal with the Mexican president
and said, let these
he might even arranged it. I don't know.
He said, again, this is
I understand this is quite a reach.
But this is going to work out for the Republicans and Trump. You know that, don't know. Again, this is, I understand, this is quite a reach. But this is going to work
out for the Republicans and Trump. You know that, don't you, for the midterms. The timing couldn't
be better. You don't think this is great optics, turning these people back at the border for Trump?
That's the number one issue for people on the right, immigration. So I'm telling you, he said
to Mexico, look, I'll throw you a couple of billion,
let these slobs make it all the way to our borders and I'll bring my army out and turn
them back. And my popularity will go through the roof. Okay. Juan Valdez. I'm that cynical.
That's how Trump's that fucking smart. Even Avenatti, people had that theory about Avenatti
when he brought those broads out there on the Cavanaugh that that might have been he might have been a double spy first I laughed at it now I'm not sure
I don't know but how is this going to hurt Trump standing uh the Republicans in this next election
it's not it's called red meat for the base red meat with a little of fucking habanero thrown in
there so uh we shall see but yes again a stream of engineers and doctors and
fucking lawyers and uh amateur gynecologists if you know what i'm saying what are you saying
they're rapists nick yeah i did the caravan started out more than a week ago with less than
200 participants.
And then apparently Mexico probably said,
look at all the free shit you can get in Arizona.
And they just call their cousins Ray Ray and Ching Tao.
Ching Tao.
What?
Has drawn additional people.
It swelled to an estimated 5,000 Sunday after many migrants found their way
across Guatemala into Southern Mexico.
Later in the day, authorities
in Guatemala said another group of about a thousand
joined. It's up to 7, 7,500
or whatever.
Migrants received help
Sunday from sympathetic
Mexicans. I wonder if George Lopez
was down there, who offered food,
water, and clothing.
Hundreds of local driving
pickup trucks, vans, and cargo trucks Hundreds of local driving pickup trucks,
vans, and cargo trucks stopped to let them clamber aboard.
So the Mexicans are fucking not helping us.
Problem? You're the fucking problem?
You fucking Dr. White,
onking jam rag,
onking spunk bubble,
I'm telling you, H,
you keep looking at me,
I'm going to put you in the fucking ground,
I promise you.
Oh my goodness.
Donald Trump alerts military,
migrant caravan, now a national emergency.
They asked Mr. Trump and what did he say about the people coming over?
He says, I have alerted Border Patrol and military that this is a national emergency.
The timing is really perfect.
He said that on Twitter.
Must change laws.
The president, he should announce it in Spanish, too.
The president announced, I'd love to hear Trump trying to speak Spanish.
Oh, my fucking aching stem.
Would that be a beauty?
The president announced the news after the caravan that originated in Honduras
swarmed over the southern Mexico border over the weekend, increasing to seven large.
Sadly, it looks like Mexico's police and military are unable to stop the caravan
heading to the southern border of the U.S., Trump wrote on Twitter.
Criminals and unknown Middle Easterners are mixed in.
I thought I saw Bobby Valentine in there with a fake mustache.
are mixed in.
I thought I saw Bobby Valentine in there
with a fake mustache.
That was a 14-year-old
Honduran girl.
I don't know.
Every time you see a caravan
of people illegally coming
or attempting to come
into our country illegally,
think of and blame the Democrats
for not giving us the votes
to change our pathetic immigration law.
So you see where my theory's coming from?
I mean, he's playing off it.
Trump wrote on Twitter, remember the midterms. So you see where my theory's coming from? I mean, he's playing off it. Trump wrote on Twitter, remember the midterm. So unfair to those who come in legally,
all three of them. Trump also said he would start cutting off fingers like Khashoggi. What? No.
Trump also said he would start cutting off federal aid to Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador.
Apparently that fucking aid that we've been
sending to them doesn't do very much.
Talk about third world shitholes.
Mother of Jesus
H. Heloise.
He says
we will now begin cutting off or substantially
reducing the massive foreign aid
routinely given to them.
They want fucking
money. That's all they want, you know?
Give me the fucking money!
You hear me? I gotta come here and bust my body!
Give me the fucking money!
That's pretty good English from the president of Honduras.
Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye!
Aye, aye, aye, aye!
Though you see
migrants come your way,
they bring you
rapists.
Some are gay, so keep on looking for a pool boy with a switchblade in his hand.
Whenever third-world shitholes come along.
It almost rhymed till the end there.
I was swinging it.
Give me the money. Give till the end there. I was swinging it. Give me the money.
Give me the fucking money.
But they come in here because they love this country
and they want to assimilate
and they want to learn our ways and our culture.
Is that right?
You are wrong, sir.
Hondurans paint swastika on American flag
set it on fire
wave Honduran flags
and give us the finger
and I say to them my friend
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
fuck you
I only have 6,999 more fuck you's to go
they actually had a picture
I don't know when this was on Time Magazine
I think it was the last time there was migrants coming over
remember the picture little girl crying in front of a train
supposedly separated from her mom
and it turned out
that she wasn't separated from her mom
it was all staged and that her mom
paid a coyote 6,000 to smug the family over.
It's all a big farce.
Of course, the fucking Amy Schumers of the world.
All due respect, know her pretty well.
Buying into this shit.
Ah, my aching stem.
Hey, Joy Behar, hope you die in your sleep tonight, you pig face.
I used to like her, and now I want to fucking hit her with a kidney shot.
Cocaina.
Two people burn a United States flag during a protest in favor of the
caravan of migrants that is currently stuck on the Guatemala Mexican border
in front of the American embassy in Tegeluzo,
Galapa,
Honduras,
the U S bound caravan that wants a whatever,
pa,
pa,
pa,
pa.
They also gave the middle finger
there you go so you can see
does this make any sense
you can be retarded
and figure this out
they're burning the flag of the country they're going to
they call Trump the fucking devil
and they're so
why are they coming here
to suck off the tit of the government
like most shitty, lazy cultures.
Giving the finger to the president,
burning the flag of the country that you want to live in.
So it's all bullshit.
George Soros is probably behind that with a can of Kingsford.
Fucking Greek dink.
I don't even know what he is.
Jewish slash whatever. He should be eliminated. Not physically. I mean't even know what he is. Jewish slash whatever.
He should be eliminated.
Not physically.
I mean, just from the political world.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
Though dirty migrants may come your way,
they bring you crime stats that'll bloom in May.
So if you're looking to be finger popped.
So they don't like America.
They fucking hate our country and they want to come here and just cause havoc, right?
No, no, no.
Not God bless America.
God damn America.
Exactly.
These are
tweets that people were watching the
cavern. On TV it shows people in the migrant
cavern not only carrying their country's flag
but putting up their middle fingers.
Somebody said, when foreigners come in your country
waving their flags, that's called an invasion.
That's exactly right. And they're all
of military age. They're all young males
with a couple of women sprinkled
in.
Then somebody else said, buried in a News 8 broadcast
from San Diego is footage of illegal migrants
and their supporters on the U.S.
side, breaching
the U.S. fence on the
border, waving a big Honduran flag,
victory style, and whipping out a big middle finger
at America.
Anyways, that's a
fucking invasion. It's not a caravan
and Democrats aren't interested
in helping people and
we should have no borders and shit.
Meanwhile, I love the
people who say that Pelosi's of the world
and the Chuck Schumer's
literally live in gated communities.
Literally.
Telling us little peons that we should get along with the scum of
the world.
Well,
they watch from above and tell us how to live.
It really is.
I hope there is a military showdown.
I hope the fucking caravan makes it to the border.
I want to see what Trump's going to do.
You want you,
you want your approval ratings to go through the roof.
I think you do,
Mr.
Trump.
This is all again. The timing is unbelievable. This is not going to be a the roof. I think you do, Mr. Trump. This is all, again, the timing
is unbelievable.
This is not going to be a blue wave.
It's going to be a blue and
brown wave. It's going to look like when somebody drops
a turd in one of the Tidy Bowl commercials.
Nick, why?
Well, I'm just giving you a
you know, a visual.
Steve King had an interesting article.
Let's go to TJ in Philly, huh?
TJ, what's going on?
Your eagles suck.
Hey.
Yeah, they fuck you.
All right.
So, yeah. go ahead yeah they fuck you all right so yeah so anyway uh one i called months ago about landmines
of the border now when you see those pictures with the uh they're all on the big bridge
just get an a-10 warthog you know get that going but uh yes i know They're all on the bridge. You got them in one spot! Right there! Take that bridge down!
Right! Gun run! Guns, guns, guns, guns, guns! You know, straight down that shit!
No, that's a great idea.
Yeah, man.
They're not destitute.
These migrants are not, you know, they have a little bit of loot.
Like, for them to pay some of this passage and work with the coyotes, you know, you're paying a good amount of money or at least something to get pushed along. Because, I mean, the cartels, their business models really shifted a lot.
You know, obviously drugs are a thing, but human trafficking is much better in terms of profit. There's no
manufacturing. It's just a lot easier. And yeah, these people are not destitute, man. And this is
just, it's an invasion, man. I mean, it is what it is. I'm surprised that it isn't being pointed
out that these people are not like, I mean, starving, starving people, you know?
So I baffles me. I don't know.
Well, it shouldn't baffle you because, you know, the media is complicit with the Democrat Party,
and that's why that's never going to come out.
But you make a great point.
I would say 10% of those people you discern that, Kevin,
probably have contracts with MLB teams already.
They were fucking trapped.
But yeah, it is an invasion.
But let me ask you this, TJ,
about my point how
this is a boon for Trump and the Republicans
a few days before the midterms.
Is it not? Isn't this going to galvanize?
You keep hearing about this blue wave.
What do you think?
Yeah, that's tough.
I mean, somewhat. But the that you know if they get optics of
you know uh cnn goes down there and seems you know crying human shield kids yeah and then a gun
being pointed to their head and shit like that yeah that that picture is you know they're salivating
for that shit to happen so you know ideally know, ideally, we could put, like, some fucking CIA people
across the border,
do a little of that movie Sicario shit,
work with the federales in Mexico
and kind of keep them a little bit distant
from the border fence
so you don't get that kind of optics, you know?
Yeah, but the optics,
I think the optics are a positive.
Thanks for the call, by the way.
Great call, TJ.
I think the optics are a positive. I mean, call by the great call TJ. I think the optics are a positive.
I mean,
uh,
if Trump says he's going to stick the military on him,
he'll stick the military on.
I mean,
and again,
the immigration issues at the top,
at least for people on the right,
that's the top issue on the left.
It's healthcare.
Yes.
Because Obamacare is working out so well.
You fucking get an aspirin in a hospital, it's $4,100.
Any fucking way.
Let's go to Kevin in Chicago.
Kevin, what's going on?
Hey, what's up, Nick?
So did you see the star David on the caravan?
Did you notice that?
No, seriously? to Star David on the caravan? Did you notice that? No.
Seriously?
Well, you got to do some research.
Yeah, there's a big Star David on the caravans.
You know who's transporting him.
You know who's behind this.
Yeah.
You can try to hide the issue and avoid it all you want.
Yeah.
All right, Kev.
The anti-Semite from Chicago.
Star David. I didn't see it, and I did my research, and you're
full of shit. He's a real
anti-Semite, huh?
What are you doing living in Chicago for an anti-Semite?
Come to New York, and then you can have the balls
to go face-to-face with the people that
you hate so much.
Oh, April showers
may come your way.
It brings you oxycontin you can take in May.
So keep on letting the dirty scum in.
Anyhow, Stephen King, not the fucking, I'm talking about the congressman,
wrote a good article.
Men from most violent countries in the world
are invading the U.S.
This is probably what it's going to sound like
as soon as they come over.
This is rape!
This is rape!
This is rape!
This is rape!
This is rape!
This is rape!
This is America. I is rape! Fuck you! During the 18th century...
This is America.
I keep hitting Paul Lynn.
I don't know why Paul Lynn's telling jokes in the middle of an invasion.
During the 18th century.
During the 21st century, a bunch of third world shitholes.
But Stephen King had...
Steve King, I should say.
But he talked about Molly Tibbetts.
Remember the girl that was murdered by an illegal from Mexico
while she was jogging?
Do you remember that?
And the Libs, he wrote a good thing.
He says, Libs in the U.S. say that Molly Tibbetts' death
is just because the perpetrator was male.
That's how it, remember?
They go back and forth from race to gender.
When it was Kavanaugh, it started off gender,
and then it turned into old white men.
The liberals say that the perpetrator was a male, that it didn't have anything to do with him being a lawbreaker, a criminal.
And Steve King says, what I say to those people who say that immigration isn't part of her death,
then go tell her family that if her killer had been deported the minute he set foot illegally on U.S. soil,
your daughter would still be dead.
But they wouldn't do that because that would contradict the leftist agenda.
He says, we have a sense of morality.
They have an agenda, meaning the left. What is missing here from the mindset of the policymakers,
they don't know this data.
They don't want to acknowledge facts that contradict their agenda.
And he's exactly right.
This guy's a real hard ass.
I want to say Iowa.
King also won against mass immigration to the U.S. from the most dangerous regions of the world,
specifically Central America and South America.
And what's sad is, remember Obama was literally busing people into cities and not even talking to the mayor?
people into cities and not even talking to the mayor.
There was article after article in Obama's office of teachers like up in Albany, Buffalo,
upstate New York going, yeah, the next day I'd have 12 kids from Guatemala in my class and have no idea.
They were literally sending buses.
I mean, he was part of the fucking invasion.
Listen to the death rates and the violence from these guys the violent death rate in honduras
is 94.7 per 100 000 people compared that to the death rate in japan 0.27 not even one-third of
one percent of a hundred thousand and nine of the 10 most violent countries in the world are south
of the u.s border 16 of the 20 most violent countries are also south of the border.
So what is happening
is we are getting illegal
and to an extent
legal immigrants coming into
America. And he says these
young men are pretty much the same demographics
as those that came to Austria in 2015.
And those who
still are coming to Austria. If you look at the boats
full of them, if you look at the jail cells,
the Border Patrol gathers together.
These guys are all of military age.
You can put them all into the military.
They're invading our country.
They are not just wearing uniforms.
That's true.
That's the only difference.
They have t-shirts on.
They don't even look that poor.
They have nice hats and t-shirts.
It's the shit I wear when I cut the grass.
They're invading our country.
They're just not wearing uniforms.
They come from the most violent countries in the world.
I picture, you know what this country
looks like with these people pouring in?
I always get this visual from Scarface.
Remember at the end when his...
Here it is.
That's me
running down to my front door.
Here they come.
This is
going to be America
in about 10 minutes
if we don't do something.
You know, I went to see Scarface
when it came out in the theaters.
That's how old I am.
I snuck down
right where the doors are.
I saw another movie.
That's what it was.
I was trying to sneak into Scarface.
I saw another movie that day.
It ended, so I stood down by where Scarface
was going to empty out.
I was going to sneak in.
Like an asshole, somebody opens the door to come out right near the end.
What do I see?
I see Tony Montana falling face down into the pool.
And I just, I went into denial.
I was pretending I didn't see it.
And you ever do that?
It's like when you record a sports game and, you know, you're flipping through, you accidentally,
you're like, oh, that was not, I didn't see the score.
It was 41-0 Nebraska.
But I'll never forget that.
It really pissed my ass off.
But yeah, third world shitholes.
And you know, you can thank for this also Ted Kennedy.
He's the one who passed legislation with this big giant veiny fucking Irish whiskey nose
who passed legislation with his big, giant, veiny fucking Irish whiskey nose,
saying that we should start not only let people in from Europe,
which was initialed by, you know, immigrant plan in this country.
He opened it up to the rest of the fucking world with legislation.
I forget who he worked on it with, but you can blame old veiny-nosed Ted.
May he burn in hell. May he burn in hell.
I want more poor black and brown people
so I can perform
social engineering.
I want blacks to go to white schools
and whites to blacks,
just not with my kids.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Chris in Ottawa, Canada One of the widest countries on the planet
Chris, what's happening, buddy?
Hey, Nick, how's it going?
This is amazing, I'm glad to be on your show
I'm glad to talk to you, huge fan
Canada
Appreciate you, I just want you to know that.
Thank you.
So are we talking about the Guatemalans trying to come up through Mexico and take over the U.S.? Is that what we're talking about tonight?
Yeah, let's get on it real quick. I got a whole bunch of people waiting to talk, Chris. Be pithy.
Chris be pithy real quick yeah this is the new war this is World War three this is the coup and this is what people are not seeing in the media it's pretty
ridiculous that there's only a few percentages of the conservatives that
are actually realizing what's going on and I just want you to know that Canada supports you,
and we realize exactly what's going on,
because it's going on here, too.
We've got immigrants coming in here from the U.S. to Canada.
Yes.
And our soft-cock government, Justin Trudeau,
is allowing this to happen. our soft, soft cock government, Justin Trudeau. Yes.
He's allowing this to happen,
but you guys have Trump and I'm so amazed with what this guy is doing.
Yes.
And he's going to be able to, uh,
he's going to work his magic.
He's going to do what he's going to do.
And you guys have nothing to worry about.
All right.
We have,
we have Trudeau.
We're screwed.
I agree with that.
Thanks for the call, Chris.
Great call.
You do.
You have a Trudeau who taught theater, not the guy you want in charge.
You don't want a guy who can who mastered a plie in college to defend your borders.
Nick, what are you saying?
You know exactly what I'm saying.
And I and I, you know, it's funny.
I was thinking that today,
laying on the couch,
uh,
eating chips and scratching my nuts.
Uh,
Trump,
right guy at the right time.
I don't care if you love him,
hate him.
Uh,
and I,
you people on the left hate him because we don't like his personality.
And he's funny looking and he's sexist.
I'm a right time at the right place.
Sent from God.
Maybe.
Anyhow.
Did you say we had a chat thing?
Yes, we do. I have from Patrick Dorr.
I feel like Kevin from Chicago
called in from the Wrigley payphone
looking for Elwood Blues.
I don't know what the fuck that means.
Another line to
fucking, you know.
Again, you know know if everybody saw walking
the Blues Brothers or whatever that would first rule of comedy it has to
relate to more than 12 people and I love the Blues Brothers yeah well then you
know what he meant by that crack that playing that one Ryan how does it relate
to anti-semitism huh you don't there you go you go. I don't get the connection between the Blues Brothers
and Wrigley Field and anti-Semites.
I'm sorry. But I'm sure there was something
in there. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, Kev.
And I'm glad you're in the chat room.
I'm just saying.
Our Father who art in Heaven,
though April showers may
come your way,
it brings dirty illegal
immigrants
that bathe in May.
Let's get on to some other
shit. We'll take one more call.
Everybody wants to talk about it, but it is the
Mark and Albany's been waiting.
No, I'm sorry. Adam in Massachusetts.
Adam, welcome to the show. What's happening? Hey, Nick. What's up? Mark and Albany's been waiting No I'm sorry Adam in Massachusetts Adam
Welcome to the show
What's happening
Hey Nick
What's up
Hey by the way
Socks and six
But uh
Alright
Listen
I just wanted to bring to your attention
Your callers attention
That there's a website
Called USAID.gov
Where you can go
And you can see where
Um
Foreign aid has been spent
Yes
Now going back to your earlier point about Mexico wanting Canada
and the United States to form some alliance to help better Central America,
Mexico being one of these countries that's benefited from foreign aid,
if anybody wants to get sick to their stomach,
feel free to go to that website and check it out
because it's your tax dollars how it works.
It's absolutely disgusting.
I just had to share it with you when excellent call usa.gov and uh uh usaid yeah us i'm so usaid.gov usaid.gov
i went to another one by mistake it told uh it told me where everybody who has AIDS all over the planet.
Um,
I confused it,
but,
uh,
all right.
I'll tell him to go.
You're one of the funniest dudes on the planet.
Thanks,
bud.
Thanks Adam.
U S a I D.gov to see where your tax pays.
That's the thing.
And where it's your tax dollars. Remember the thing. It's your tax dollars.
Remember, the government,
that's your fucking money, right?
People don't even realize that.
That's how stupid some people are.
And it's going to places like Mexico
who are fucking us in the ass
by letting all this filth,
you know, using their country
as a passageway.
And you get, you know,
everyday Mexicans
helping out these people.
Oh, that's racist.
You're bigoted.
Yeah, kiss my ass.
Kiss my white European ass.
Let's change the subject, shall we?
Anybody watch the NFL this weekend?
I got to tell you,
that is the worst.
I can say this
because I've been watching the NFL since 1968. Since I was six. You do the worst. I can say this because I've been watching the NFL since 1968.
Since I was six, you do the math.
50 years every Sunday.
I know this league inside and out.
And I know a lot of you, Johnny, come lately,
think it's the best football.
First of all, watch college.
If you start watching college football on Saturday,
you won't watch the NFL anymore.
And now I know why there's so many empty seats.
I'll get to that in a few seconds.
But it was an interesting confrontation between the Panthers, Eric Reid, and Malcolm Jenkins.
Malcolm Jenkins started the whole kneeling during the national anthem.
But what he did, he cut a deal with the NFL saying, you know, if you give us so many dollars to put towards, you know, communities that we get involved in, we want NFL dollars to help us out with these things where we help our poor community.
And he cut a deal with them.
But he organized it all.
So Malcolm Jenkins, whether you agree with him or not, at least he's got some business savvy.
But Eric Reid, his former teammate, well, they X-49 Eric Reid kneeled during the National
Anthem for the first time as a Carolina Panther.
Well, congratulations, scumbag.
Two NFL players who have protested during the National Anthem seem to be in each other's
corners, nearly came to blows Sunday before the game against each other.
Carolina Panthers defensive back Eric Reid, a former teammate of Kaepernick, confronted Eagles player Malcolm Jenkins.
Remember, he's the one who started the whole thing.
On the field near the Eagles logo before the game,
the exchange got heated and both players had to be separated.
We got video of it.
Up in the top right-hand corner, that's Eric Reid.
I feel like Madden.
Boom, right there.
A couple of militants get together.
They both hate the country.
Look, they get each other's faces.
They have to fucking separate.
The revolution got sold.
So, so Jenkins is an America hater, but at least he turned it into something positive.
He got like cut, got a deal and got like 90 mil from the NFL to put towards certain causes.
Eric Reid just hates Whitey.
He hates America, even though he's playing a kid's game for millions of dollars.
Just an ignoramus who will be sweeping streets in any other country
or a janitor because he thinks he gets sold out.
Reid had major concerns
with Malcolm Jenkins'
player coalition
that raised nearly 100 mil
to causes considered important
to the African-American communities.
The bad blood between
the two stems from Reid
splitting from Jenkins.
The players' coalition,
after the organization
sought to have the protests
during the national anthem,
stopped.
So Jenkins said to the NFL, well, stop kneeling if you give us this dough. after the organization sought to have the protests during the national anthem stopped.
So Jenkins said to the NFL,
well, stop kneeling if you give us this dough.
Kind of blackmailed them, no pun intended.
If the NFL made donations to cause the group supports,
the causes that the group supports.
Jenkins' group and the NFL agreed to a deal in which the league would donate about 90 mil
to organizations supported by the players.
Reid also wasn't happy Kaepernick was excluded from meetings on the issue.
Reid said, quote, we believe a lot of players should have stepped up for Colin.
I believe Malcolm capitalized on the situation.
He co-opted the movement that was started by Colin to get this organization funded.
So Colin did start it, but
he started the symbolic part of it.
Jenkins stepped in and has a little business
savvy. But Reed
said, it's cowardly. He sold us.
Well, here's Reed being interviewed after the
game.
Can you exchange words with Malcolm Jenkins?
Do you want to explain what that was about?
Does it have anything to do with the
disagreement about the Players Coalition?
He's a solo. Why do you the Players Coalition? He's a sellout.
Why do you say that?
He's a sellout.
He's a sellout.
He did more for African-American communities than you do by kneeling.
And then they asked Jenkins about Reid, and he said,
I'm not going to talk about the guy.
So he just stayed silent.
But it's never enough, is it, Eric Reid?
It's never enough.
Just hater of America to the core.
Hater.
Just bitter about something that happened
to his relatives, hundreds and hundreds.
Some of them can't let it go.
Them, Nick, who's them?
The black people.
Some of them can't let it go. Them, Nick, who's them? The black people. Some of them can't let it go.
Though April showers bring ungrateful pricks,
they pick off passes and go for six,
so keep on letting these dirty motherless fucking...
Actually having fun out here
Do I have to do stand up anymore seriously
Fucking tired of it
Tired of it
I love it when I'm on stage but
What's the point
You really think Netflix is going to give a 56 year old white guy
With my point of view
A special
And if not
Where else
Nowhere else So I think i'm gonna do that i'm
not shitting you i think the next special i shoot i shoot myself and we're gonna throw it out there
to the world on on those pirated websites and stuff i don't know why i didn't do that 12 years
ago seriously i thought it was about you know just get it out there Because it has become so soft and boring.
So I hear.
I bought a vape.
You know what it does?
It makes me want a cigarette.
I was smoking it watching the games yesterday in my chair.
And it was nice.
It had a nice vanilla hint.
And I went, you know what I need now?
A real cigarette.
It was like an appetizer.
It was like potato skins before the fucking roast chicken.
Let's stay on the NFL because the NFL does have a flag problem.
But it's not the American flag.
It's yellow flags.
I just came up with that.
Watch the New York Post steal that headline.
flags. I just came up with that. Watch the New York Post steal that headline. But before I get to that, I think I see why a lot of the seats are empty. They're still having problems. That's
another big secret of the NFL. But here's some footage of how... This is why I started staying
on my couch 15 years ago. I had access to Patriots tickets and shit. But why would you do that in this day and age of 58 inch
screen TVs with high def and
I can see the crust in fucking
Tom Brady's nose when he's in the huddle.
Why would I want to be sitting in section 68G
next to some jerk off who drank
six quarts of fucking whiskey
while he was tailgating.
But um
here's a little clip of what goes on
this one on at the Jags game.
I forget who they were playing.
Who were they playing?
It doesn't matter.
Here you go.
Here comes the woman that started it all by.
That's his girlfriend
look at she's she's standing up huh
texans yeah first a guy sucker punches so many fucking cowards in the world
nice sucker punch from two feet away bitch
they say the story the woman that was with the guy that got sucker punched threw a beer on
everybody they were amongst a bunch of jag fans and um so she gets her fucking husband
or boyfriend knocked out as a lot of girls with big fat asses will
let's take another look at that please
can we see the actual punch?
That look like he pushed him.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Anyways, look, wait till his head's turn.
There you go.
What a piece of shit.
And you don't think that goes on all the time?
And people go, well, they have to cut out the beer sales.
You can't.
That's where they make all the money, the concessions.
You ever read the dough they make?
I know, I mean, you go to Yankee Stadium,
it's like $15 for a beer.
What's the mark up there?
75,000%?
But that's how they pay these enormous salaries.
At least it is in baseball.
I'm sure the same in football.
But this is why you see,
besides the kneeling during the national anthem
and the spoiled billionaires playing the game kneeling during the national anthem and the
spoiled billionaires playing the game i mean millionaires and the shitty attitudes you're
gonna deal these drunken shit stains in the fucking uh crowd i play with this kid uh we'll
call him kevin as i always just go with kevin let's call him kevin dylan whoever that is but
i play with this kid a tough kid from my hometown. And, um, he was a
year older than me, played football and, um, a real scrapper. This kid used to get into it.
Anyways, the Patriots played the jets on a Monday night years and years ago, over 25 years ago. Uh,
and all hell broke loose. Some guy had a heart attack.
And the cop was giving the guy CPR.
And there was a guy pissing on the cop while he was giving CPR to a guy.
And that's when they cut bear sales.
I got half the day.
It was so bad.
It was in the New York Times, I think.
I know it was all over the Boston Bay, but it was a national story.
So they changed the bear sales.
But a couple weeks after,
it was another incident.
And this kid that I,
this tough kid that I went to school with,
he's on the cover.
He's on the front page of the sports page in Boston.
And he's choking another guy.
It's a picture of Clara's day with his thumbs. About three inches in his guy's throat. I mean, it's like, and everybody's choking another guy. This is a picture of Clara's day with his thumbs
about three inches at his guy's throat.
I mean, it's like, and everybody's like,
oh yeah, that's Kev.
But why would you, again, between the protesting
and the spoiled shitty attitudes of the players
and whatever, but that's, here's another reason it sucks.
I've been preaching this forever,
how much college football
is so much better,
and I say it's a cleaner game.
I don't mean as far as cheap shots.
I mean cleaner as in,
there's not a penalty
every three seconds.
The NFL is ruined.
It is fucking ruined.
I tried to watch a couple games,
and like Cincinnati and whoever.
I went back in the middle of the game last night.
I went back to a college game, Oregon versus Washington State,
and watched that instead.
I watched five minutes of two games, and it took 20 minutes
because there were penalties every other play.
And it's a two-par problem.
There's too many rules now in the NFL.
There's just too many.
I mean,
hands to the face. They're all getting this fucking nitty hands to the face, and
you can't cut a guy at the legs
if a lineman's blocking
up high and another guy. I mean,
they have...
It's just...
There's way too many rules.
It already had the most rules of
any sport, North American sport.
But it's even worse now.
There's a push in the back on every kick play.
I've been saying this.
You can't watch it.
And then my buddy made this point.
I laughed at him, but I think he's right.
The worst thing they did was put these referees on camera and give them a microphone.
I swear to Christ.
I think they tell their families before they go, Uncle Teddy you'll see me in about 20 minutes
I see more of these fuck
Ed Hockley the head ref than I've seen Trump
in the last two years
every fucking second
and you go Nick I you're imagining it
am I? well let me just give you some statistics
I couldn't believe it yesterday
and I bet you this was just an average Sunday
94 penalties in the 13 games that's uh I couldn't believe it yesterday. And I bet you this was just an average Sunday.
94 penalties in the 13 games.
That's 7.2 penalties per game.
1251 yards worth of penalties,
which is almost 100 yards of penalties a game.
Which, you know, I thought it was worse than that.
But the point being is every time there's a penalty,
the refs have to get together and discuss it for fucking a minute and a half. Go back and watch all footage. A guy jumps offside, four refs wouldn't have to come together and talk about it. It's fucking ridiculous. I
don't know how you guys watch it in real time. I was talking to my friend, Ron Bennington.
He goes, you don't watch in real time.
I go,
are you shitting?
I haven't watched a sporting event in real time in 10 years.
Thank God for the DVR.
You're going to sit through six minutes of commercials of making fun of white
guys and fucking attacking you.
The very fan as you're paying for the Sunday ticket.
How do you do it?
I fast forward through the huddles and shit.
And it still takes over an hour to watch a football game.
Because of the penalties.
It just.
You don't believe me?
Here's Ed Hockley right here.
There is no delay of game.
We didn't let the team go because we were switching our balls.
It is fourth down.
Reset the play clock to 25 seconds. We were what? Jason, what did he say? We were what?
Jason, what did he say?
We were what our balls?
It sounded like stretching.
Yeah, but it's not.
You don't stretch footballs.
We were stretching our balls.
But do you guys, seriously, just take a, I know you, you're a big fan of football.
You're a huge NFL fan.
Just take a day and watch college football
and just, again,
and as soon as they get to the NFL,
they lose all discipline, I guess,
once they get paid.
I don't know,
but I watch a couple of SEC games.
There's 105,000 people.
They don't sit down the whole game.
It's so much more exciting.
You got your cheerleaders here.
the whole game. It's so much more exciting.
You got your cheerleaders here.
But I think that's the biggest problem. The refs having
to get together and discuss
an illegal motion
for three minutes and then mark the ball
and they're taking the...
It's over-officiated.
Holding on every play, we know that
if you're a football fan.
Holding happens in every play.
So the refs are supposed to look the other way nine out of ten times,
but they don't because they want to get FaceTime.
I swear to Christ.
Anyways, and while you're watching that, NFL, if that's not bad enough,
you have to sit through torturous commercials,
four or five-minute stretches of commercials,
and most of the commercials, the purpose is to emasculate white men.
And the worst offenders of this would be Progressive Insurance,
a company, by the way, that is financially sponsored by George Soros.
And you can just tell the anti-white male making, it's been going on forever, but I didn't think they could top themselves.
Here's a couple of them. Here's how the average white male is portrayed. By the way, I was the
first one to point this out years and years ago. You've got my first CD, which I did in the early
nineties. I talk about a Diet Coke commercial and how they're treating construction workers being whistled at
by women. They were reversing the gender roles back
then. I pointed it out.
Then 10 years after that,
I pointed it out on Tough Crowd.
I pointed it out on ONA and the phones
lit up.
I'm sure somebody might have done it before then, but
I would say I was the head of the curve on this one.
Progressive. Progressive.
Progressive.
All insurance companies.
I don't know why they're so liberal.
Progressive.
Even Geico and State Farm,
the black guy who's been doing commercials
with an authoritative black voice for the last 20 years
and just betraying white men is just ball-less sack-less.
But nobody...
It's like progressive. it's like they're working
from a list of shit that makes me angry it's like they fucking know me that woman that does all the
parts in the commercial when is she gonna get sick when is she gonna pick up hep c or polio
some shit that the uh migrants are bringing over the border. Never, because she would never go near.
All right, let's take a look at, watch this guy.
Got directions to the nightclub here.
And if you get lost, just hit me on the old horn.
Tom's my best friend, but ever since he bought a new house.
It's a $10 cover. Oh, okay.
See that on the website?
He's been acting more and more like his dad.
Come on, guys, jump in. The water's fine.
Tom Pritchard. How we doing?
Hi there, Tom Pritchard.
Can we get a round of jalapeno poppers for me and the boys, please?
I've been saving a lot of money with Progressive lately, so...
Progressive can't protect you from becoming your parents,
but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us.
It's not a commercial, unless it's a white gay...
white guy acting like a jerk-off.
That's been going on forever but at that one really really hey jason am i that pale in real life my wife's got me looking like fucking lily munster
no that's the lights is it if they make me look white then does the end product look like this
please tell me no no no you're good look like this? Please tell me no.
No, no.
You're good.
Looked like Johnny Sack when he had stage three.
So, Tom Pritchard, how we doing?
Jalapeno peppers.
So he's a racist, too.
We have to get that in.
He doesn't... Ryan, would you pick up on this shit if I didn't point it out?
You wouldn't, would you?
Your generation just sort of... Because you were born to this shit. I mean, point it out you wouldn't would your generation just just sort of because
you were born to this shit i mean i don't have a tv i don't see you don't have a commercial did
you say you don't have a tv all right that's you know no more explanation good for you
you must get all your stuff from uh social media
you're damn right yeah explains a wealth of knowledge in history i uh
let's show the second one rich when we moved into the new house but having his parents over
look at his sweat and lightning mama's boy you don't like my lasagna no it's good
like my lasagna no it's good look at him blow on it you see it right is there a draft in here i'm telling you it's so easy to get home insurance on progressive.com progressive can't save you from
becoming your parents but we can save you money when you bundle home and auto well have the woman
becoming her mother or have a black guy becoming his parent. Oh, he doesn't
know who his parents are.
Oh, that's unnecessary. That's a 50.
It's a joke. Fucking lighten
up your titless wonders.
That was a good one, wasn't it?
Though April showers may come your way,
I'll punch you in the throat
almost every day
because I'm angry
and I'm
ha ha ha ha
it's a steady
stream of that shit for the last 25
30 years
white emasculation
I lived in West Hollywood
and Hollywood that's where they write a lot of this shit
and they think then that this is how they see white men
whoever runs the whoever runs the
whoever runs the ad.
I mean,
the NOW organization, the
National Organization of Women,
they actually have the gall to complain how
women are portrayed on TV.
And then the guys say, well,
you portray guys like idiots. And their answer to guy said, well, you portray guys like idiots.
And their answer to that was, well, women were portrayed like idiots in the 50s.
And I still haven't found a bunch of commercials where a woman is treated like the adult.
You see the anger?
This is the shit.
As I think Bill Hicks used the phrase, it taints the collective unconscious.
And it does.
It just seeps in while people sit there.
How many times have you been at the mall or a store and seen some woman,
I've seen this, dressing down her husband in public, just yelling at him and shit.
It looks like they're shooting a fucking commercial.
Now, I'm just saying, between that, watching the NFL, the stupid Verizon commercial, they use the same kid with a shitty beard. I don't know if he's a stan. He looks like every middle-act comedian
that's ever performed in front of me, but he's, you know, I don't know how these guys land deals.
I wish I had their agents. Guy's going to be on Verizon for the next fucking 15 years.
But did you see the black guy
in the first commercial? The white guy looks
dorkier if the black friend is calling him on it.
Riley in Missouri is going to tell me why
and I'm glad why insurance companies
are the way they are. I mean, I have an
idea, but I bet you Riley knows much better.
Hey Riley, what's happening? Why is it
that they like
that hey how you doing pretty good well the uh there's two reasons one well i mean they're
separate from the ad agencies just like you pointed out they're assholes that uh took two
improv classes and think they're you know the next woody fucking alan and so they write write these uh
punch-ups where the white guys uh fucking punchline because you know stereotypes still play
the uh the ad agencies are different from the insurance companies the insurance companies
don't really give a shit right what the fuck the commercial is they just pay for it and try to get
as many eyes on it as possible but if you write for an ad agency for christ's sake it was a joke in the
fucking 50s you know the dick van dyke was lamenting that he might have to go and work
for a fucking ad agency and you know how funny that show was yeah but the but the but the, but the, but the, but the ad agency,
I mean,
excuse me,
but the insurance company is the client.
So the ad agency,
the campaign they come up with,
the insurance company has to give it thumbs up or thumbs down.
So this sort of saying,
no,
it's not fucking.
Right.
Yeah,
you're absolutely right.
But,
but look who,
look who they're aiming their ads at.
They're aiming it at inner city people for the most part,
because rich people don't fucking buy that kind of insurance that you see,
uh,
an ad during the super bowl.
You know,
they've got their own fucking insurance companies that you'll never even hear
of.
They can cover $250 million,
Paul Newman,
Lamont sports cars and shit.
What do you mean?
But,
but no,
but they're trying to pander.
Yeah. But millions of people have but they're trying to pander. Yeah.
But millions of people have millions of people have like state farm.
I even had it at one time.
So I don't think they're shooting for just poor black people now.
No.
Well,
I,
I read a,
a,
a,
I mean,
I was poor and black at one time.
There was no,
yeah,
exactly. There, there was, and black at one time. No, yeah, exactly.
There was that white guys between the ages of whatever it was, 20 and 45, base their purchases off of word of mouth as opposed to commercials who uh who goes for commercials are usually lower income women
and lower income hispanic people hispanic and asians i think is who it is okay white guys and
black guys usually get their buy their purchases by word of mouth which i found fascinating and
who the fuck is spending the money on
these studies, who gives a shit, but it's illuminating in a way.
All right.
No, it is.
Absolutely.
Hey, thank you for the great call, Riley.
Appreciate it, buddy.
Um, that's the excuse that the, uh, they use to also for the, they say that the woman of
the house does most, most of the purchasing.
That's why we make the husband.
Oh,
but,
but I don't get it.
So you can't sell a woman a soap detergent or whatever without making,
being mean to,
to,
to the husband.
It's fucking bullshit.
The fucking hatred.
I'm telling you the feminist movement,
it's like a cancer.
It's metastasized into ads into everything.
They're obsessed because they considered, again, they think they're treated as second
class citizens in this country, which is the biggest fucking myth ever.
But that's the reasoning.
They go, well, women do most of the purchasing.
Okay, that's fine.
But you have to be a, you have to be anti-male in your ads for the wife to buy you soap?
Shut the fuck up.
That's right.
That was my answer to that. Shut the fuck up. That's right. That was my answer to that. Shut the fuck up.
Seriously.
Speaking of dumb women, let's move on to
fucking Nancy the dirty, uh,
leathery nipple, uh, dog face
Pelosi. Oh boy, that was Hillary. I can't say that about her.
She's still got a good rack. Look at her.
Look at the look on her face. What, somebody just hit her with a cattle
prod?
She's got the, uh,
those are vitamins around her neck, by the way.
Um,
look at her. That's the face.
And there's
the angry black chick over her shoulder, which
you know.
Let's go to Pelosi,
shall we?
Can you put the picture up that came with the article I sent you?
I don't know why you chose your own, Jason.
You're starting to self-edit in there.
I'm really getting irritated.
Always use the picture that comes with the article.
10-9-8-7-6-5-4.
Anyways, you'll find it.
Right now, Ryan is sketching it.
Pelosi, there'll be collateral damage
to those who disagree with us.
It's a veiled threat by a fucking maniac.
Pelosi was being interviewed on stage
by Paul Krugman.
You know who he is?
He's the Nobel Prize winning economist
who writes for the New York Times
who said Trump's economy
will fucking destroy the
world economy that's what he said
that's how much he knows Princeton genius
Nobel Prize winning cheese eating
dinkweed
yeah he said Trump's economy would send us
into a global recession with no end in sight
couldn't have been more wrong but I'm glad they
gave you a show Paul
let's show the video of Pelosi with no end in sight. Couldn't have been more wrong, but I'm glad they gave you a show, Paul.
Let's show the video of Pelosi.
We owe the American people to be there for them,
for their financial security,
respecting the dignity and worth
of every person in our country.
Get off your mole high horse,
your leather nipple jack off.
You hear that?
Some others that don't share our view might suffer collateral damage.
And you know what she's talking about, right?
Whether it's being Mitch McConnell being fucking harassed at a restaurant or Ted Cruz
or somebody being punched in the face with a MAGA hat.
That's what she's talking about.
After Maxine fucking
crazy woman
waters telling to get in people's faces
and gasoline station.
Who calls it a gasoline station?
Where you going to get gasoline?
I ate some chili.
It's giving me gasoline.
But you hear that?
Collateral damage.
That's what she's talking about.
Some people might get punched in the face.
Whatever.
They want a civil war?
Let's fucking give it to them already.
The fuck are we waiting for?
I'm just waiting to see somebody
with a fucking Hillary
t-shirt get knocked out.
Specifically Hillary by her husband
Bill in a drunken rage
because she came home while he was finger
popping the fucking IHOP waitress.
I'm not going to lay off the pasta.
I eat pasta or I get that turkey neck.
You retain water.
You know that, right?
These guys have negative body fat.
Pelosi.
Stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt.
I say this to my friend Nancy Pelosi.
I say this now.
Make me a sandwich.
Make me a fucking sandwich.
Collateral damage.
It's a veiled threat.
Take it that way, people.
I don't know.
Finally tonight on Meet the Press.
April showers may come your way
nypd boss it's a woman hey did you ever uh can we put the picture that came with this article yes i have that one thank you why would you not choose the pelosi one
that came with this article?
Yes, I have that one.
Thank you.
Why would you not choose the Pelosi one?
Because the only sense is the video and not the article.
What?
Yeah.
Don't blame it on your boss.
I'm not.
Just facts.
Facts my ass.
I'll show you the fucking...
I'll pull the email up right now.
Did I really?
Okay, maybe you get a point.
Can't even argue with him.
He's so fucking honest and shit.
You can't argue
that guy goes on one date and he's thrown into the friend zone.
What'd you do?
Throw a fucking hot chili in her face? What happened?
I think it was too nice.
She's like, this guy's a pussy.
What's she, an 11-year-old Puerto Rican?
NYPD boss accused of stuffing
her panties in co-workers'
mouth.
NYPD boss accused of stuffing her panties in co-workers mouth.
I hope they were dirty.
That's all I'm saying.
Wow.
She really jammed them down there.
A ball busting female boss at a Brooklyn precinct is under investigation for allegedly stuffing a pair of her panties into a male colleague's mouth. What a world
we live in.
She's got a giant head. She looks
like Andrea Mitchell in high school.
Big bags, but
why would you complain
if a girl, unless she looked like fucking Rosie
or something, a whoopee, why would you
complain if a female co-worker stuck her panties
in your face and down your mouth?
A lot of guys pray for that type of shit
to happen.
It's a new world we live in.
Sergeant Anne-Marie Guerra,
the second in command at the
77th Precinct Detective Squad
flipped out on Detective Victor Falcone
when he complained about her leaving her underwear
all over the unisex locker. Now what guy complains about a her leaving her underwear all over the unisex locker.
Now, what guy complains about a woman leaving her underwear everywhere?
I mean, a lot of guys break into bedrooms and go through the underwear.
It's those guys from the progressive commercials.
Exactly right, Jason.
I'm glad you put those dots together.
You know what she says? She goes, they are fucking clean.
The 38-year-old married mom of two allegedly wrote.
That's true. I mean, it's not like they found Hillary's
Hillary you know
she got more skid marks in the turn two
at Daytona
fucking lost
control of her bowels when she was in Yale
she says they're fucking
clean as she shoved a pair of her
panties into Falcone's mouth
laughing
laughing laughing she had an as she shoved a pair of her panties into Falcone's mouth.
She had an EEO put on her by the precinct detective unit lieutenant for literally putting her panties in a fellow male's detective's open mouth.
Other detectives in the station house have objected to her leaving her panties
on the unisex shower knob and outside her locker for all to see.
The lockers are unisex too, the source added.
Guerra has groused about her male colleagues' manhoods on Facebook.
She's a man-hater, including on September 11th,
a police source said she has been on social media
spouting man-hating rhetoric about fellow sergeants having little dicks.
I'm not crazy.
I just don't give a fuck.
Her raunchy comment was made on a Facebook post
of New York Post story from early this month
about an NYPD officer suing the city
for shaming her about pumping breast milk on the job.
So she's, again, the militant feminism.
And this is what happens.
But she's one of the higher ups and let's see what happens
to her can you imagine a guy
stuffing his underwear
into a work female
colleague mouth
he'd be in jail right now in a Turkish prison
being raped repeatedly and everybody would be applauding
I guarantee she gets off with a slap
on the wrist
but it's a different world that I grew up in I mean Everybody would be applauding. I guarantee she gets off with a slap on the wrist.
But it's a different world that I grew up in.
I mean, places I worked in when we were younger,
if we found girls' underwear on the doorknobs and all the places,
I mean, we'd be high-fiving.
Again, I mean, if you look at the label and it says size 56XXX, no.
Then you just use that as a boat top or you go parachuting with it, but Broad, you know, I mean, she's not a dog.
I'm just saying, fellas. But you know what?
This is what happens. This is a backlash
from hashtag me too.
And guys are like, really? You want to play that fucking
game? Plus,
they're bitter that I'm sure, I'm sure
you know know she earned
to be second in charge at that
precinct and this is what happens folks in a
changing world I'm just saying
right or wrong I
don't know look at her she
looks fucking angry she's like
really she got a gun in her hand there
looks like a walkie talkie a walkie
talkie I just left
some shit stained panties
on Mr. Fal falcon's door
tell me go fuck himself
but this is a uh again it's a sort of a uh backlash from hashtag me too and guys are
gonna go you know you want to play that game it's a two-way street i will sue you or get you in
trouble that is, ladies and gentlemen.
We got a super chat?
Okay, go ahead.
Well, don't tell me you got it if it's not ready, you dink.
Sorry, I didn't know the show
was going to end so slow.
Fucking millennial shit.
I'm sorry.
Tom Stone,
Detroit Red Wings,
worst team in franchise history.
Damn you, Zetterberg.
Here's the first, let me give you guys a lesson
shit has to be relevant to the show
I understand
what am I supposed to
he's commented on the Red Wings
worst team in history
what am I the fucking commissioner of the NHL
I'm supposed to know
yeah you're right
boy the defense has got holes in it
the goaltending staff I, what am I supposed to do
with that? How about you pick one of the funniest
ones?
I guess I can make something up. Well, Tom
Stone, you're right. The Red Wings are...
They haven't been good
since Gordie Howe.
And that's not true. Eisenman
in the 90s, they were the hockey
capital of the world. But I don't know what their record is.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that.
But I hope they keep losing and continue to lose.
And my Bruins aren't much better.
They went out to the West Coast, Tom, and dropped three.
Lost to Calgary and Edmonton and Vancouver.
And so we have problems too.
Two of the original six teams.
I'm failing for you, buddy.
Thank you for being in the chat room.
I got a goal because I've been holding
a pee-pee since, I'd say, 1230
this afternoon.
I don't know why. I'll tell you why.
My dog sleeps in the bathroom. I didn't want to wake her up.
I gave her three Ambien
and a glass of wine last night.
That is it,
boys and girls. Thank you for tuning
in.
Go to nickdip.com
and look up my tour dates.
Come out and see me.
I'd love to chat with you
after the show
through a bulletproof glass.
Tomorrow, I think I'm going to have Jason
play April showers with his guitar
and I'll accompany him with lyrics.
That's all I can think of.
Remember, you guys think it. I will
say it. I'm going to go have a vape
and a cigarette.
Here's a little something for you and see you
tomorrow. Take care of yourselves. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 I'm going to go. Outro Music