The Nick DiPaolo Show - Tiger: “Fore”!!!! | #496 | Nick Di Paolo Show
Episode Date: February 24, 2021Tiger Woods hooks his car off the road. Leftists bite back on Biden's migrant facilities. Twitter tries to take down Crowder. FREE! UNCENSORED! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST Support FREE S...PEECH via The Nick Di Paolo Show! CONTRIBUTE: NickDip.com Paypal.me/NickDiPaoloShow SubscribeStar Entropy "SuperChat" FREE every Monday - Thursday 5PM EST on The Comics Gym, Gab, Instagram, Facebook, Rumble, Bitchute, Telegram, DLive and Nickdip.com. Monthly members of The Comics Gym receive exclusive ENCORE content, access to "Ask Nick" questions, and 300+ videos in the archive. All for Members ONLY, so JOIN! https://www.thecomicsgym.com https://www.bitchute.com/nickdip https://www.facebook.com/NickDiPaolo/ https://www.youtube.com/c/nickdipaolo... https://www.gab.com/nickdipaolo https://www.instagram.com/nickdipaolo/ https://www.t.me/nickdip https://rumble.com/c/NickDipPodcast https://www.dlive.tv/nickdipaolo CAMEO personal video from me! http://www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo MERCHANDISE & TOUR DATES http://www.nickdip.com
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🎵 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Richie Castellano on that 21st fret.
What's up, folks?
How are you?
Welcome to the show. Glad to have you aboard on a Wednesday.
Wednesday. I'm very excited about nothing.
Oh, boy, is this great!
Not really.
Hello. I'm Mr. Ed.
What? Do I get carried away with those buttons?
Yes, I do.
Am I a child at heart?
Yes, I am.
So shut it.
What's in the news?
Jesus Christ.
Tiger Woods crashes another car.
I got to believe.
I'm blaming it on the Asian half of him.
You know what I'm saying?
The speeding part's the black half going off the road while he's looking at his phone.
The Asian half.
Who's with me? Raise your racist fucking pause.
Tiger Woods was on his way to play golf with NFL stars Drew Brees,
Justin Herbert who's going to be the future Hall of Famer when he was involved
in a one wait a minute David Spade was waiting to with him.
David Spade was with way what i talk about a weird pair
uh god damn i love spade he just gets all the and golfing with tiger he really
did everything i wanted to do but i'm in georgia in a attic
uh tiger was involved in a one-car accident tuesday that saw the golf legend hospitalized with leg injury, compound fucking
fractures. That's got to hurt. That's him as they take him out of the car.
The 45-year-old Woods also was expected to take part in a photo shoot with two quarterbacks,
according to multiple reports. Woods was conscious and alert, as opposed to the other time
when his wife was chasing him in the golf club
and he had 12 fucking Valium in him.
He was pulled through the windshield of his damaged SUV
in Rancho Palos Verdes outside of Los Angeles.
A fire department spokesman said,
this fucking black half Chinese motherfucker can't drive.
No fire department spokesman told the Post that they used an axe and another hand tool to pry the windshield out and extricate him.
So they were furious. They're like, come on, we got better shit to do.
All right, get up. I can't.
My leg hurts. Woods injuries, which include a compound fracture,
according to the New York Times,
was not considered life-threatening.
Really?
So when you break your leg, you're not going to die?
Thanks for clearing that up, New York Times,
you fucking assholes.
Woods was the only person in the car, officials said,
but his wife or his girlfriend said
they think there's three IHOP waitresses
that were in the whale well with big titties. He was in Los Angeles for last weekend's Genesis Invitational,
and on Sunday, he handed the trophy to the winner, Max Homa. Woods also was in the midst of a two-day
content shoot with Golf Digest and Golf TV. A day before the accident, Woods gave on-course
golf lessons to celebrities at Rolling Hills Country Club, including, excuse me, ex-NBA star Dwayne Wade and my boy David Spade.
Put up the pictures, Raz.
At this point, I think that's what a pro show would do.
There you go.
This tiger.
I'm home.
Look at that fucking guy.
Put up the other one, Raz.
Don't make me direct the fucking show.
The 15-time major winner underwent a fifth back surgery in December, and his status for the masses in April was up in the air as it was.
So he's finished.
Well, the world needs pitch takers, too.
Tiger, I don't mean to laugh, but it's hard to feel sorry for you.
You're worth a half a billion dollars.
You do something for a living that people do when they retire.
You do it for a living.
You're going to get your balls.
Your balls will be licked on your fucking 4,000-foot yacht in St. Barts in a week.
So boo-hoo.
I hope you recover.
Compound fractures, though.
If he didn't have that seat, I don't know if he had a seatbelt on or not,
but he must have because you were thinking DUI.
That was my first reaction.
Yeah.
Is that right?
That was John, a cop buddy. saw an interview with him saying his eyes were
glazed over on sunday during an interview um they didn't find anything but even if they did would
they tell us you know i'm saying if that was john daly they would have gave us a stool sample before truck. We found 11 burritos and 12 tequila bottles at his feet. In our Libs Eating Libs
segment tonight, Biden administration opens migrant facilities for children. Really?
Isn't that cute? A migrant facility for children is being opened in Texas.
And Lindsey Graham's excited.
No, I, uh, whoop, whoop.
And at first for the new Biden administration.
So, you know, they were complaining when Trump did it.
It's the exact same fucking tense.
What are we doing? What's going on right now?
The emergency facility, which was only open for a month in the summer of 2019 during the former President Trump's single term in office.
They have to throw that in.
Is a former man camp.
A former man camp. I belonged to a man camp when I was 18. I came back. I was never the same.
For oil field workers in
Carrizo Springs in the southern part of the state, and it's set to house as many as 700 teenagers
aged 13 to 17. Let me get this straight. We're going to put 700 teenagers, boys and girls,
from third-world shitholes in a tent. You know what that's going to do? They're going to multiply
like rabbits in there. How can you say that? Well, I can. It's the internet.
Emergency facilities have been criticized for the lack of insight, cost.
These are Democrats. These are libs going after Biden.
And conditions for those staying there.
Some immigration lawyers, they're the evil ones, and advocates have raised doubts about why the Biden administration
would allow a facility
that proved contentious under mr trump uh to reopen what didn't prove uh contentious under
trump can i ask you guys that what are they supposed to do with these jerks you know you
do you send them home they showed i i was watching tv or, they took a tour of these tents, and nice into my house.
These people live in, you know,
they shit in coffee cans in the country they come from.
They chase water beetles with sticks for lunch.
But they're upset because we don't have a salad bar
and a fucking, you know, steamship roast beef guy
carving it with a big hat.
Calling the move a huge step backwards.
Immigration lawyer, Linda,
I live in a
fantasy brand miller told the washington post see now she's a lib going after a lib
it's unnecessary it's costly and it goes absolutely against everything biden promised he
was going to do no kidding he's lying you ever think of that? He stole an election. You might think he's lying.
The reopening, these people are more worried.
We have to kill all the immigration lawyers.
They're the evil ones.
The reopening, I'm only kidding.
We don't kill anybody here.
It's just a TV slash internet show.
Get off my backs.
The reopening of the campus necessary,
according to government officials, because facilities that hold migrant children have
had to decrease their capacity to half their previous capability. Guess what, folks? Due to
what? What? What do we use? Excuse the COVID-19 pandemic. So let me get this straight. You're
worried about people that you're not even testing for COVID. You're throwing them in a tent,
but I'm supposed to say 40 feet for my wife when we're having lunch.
Suck a dick and die.
I'm tired of this.
Bye.
I would have done that.
My headset would have yanked off.
It would have been really funny.
The number of children crossing the border from Mexico alone has been rising recently.
This past January, we saw the highest number of apprehensions, 5,700, compared to the same month in recent years.
Wow. Nice going, Biden. Acting as a fucking maggot magnet.
Oh, God. Hey, San Diego, enjoy your new neighbors. I love COVID corn chips.
I love them, too.
I'll stick a knife in your brother.
That's some racist chipping.
Mr. Biden has signed several executive orders to end Mr. Trump's harsh policies on immigration and has put forward a plan to ruin the country for a road to
citizenship. And I love they keep using the number 11 million. Do you know it's upwards to 30 million
illegals? And don't take my word for it. That came out of a study in Harvard, that right-wing
bastion of conservatism. So it's closer to 30, might even be more. Undocumented immigrants in
the U.S. officials say that reversing a Trump
policy to now accept children coming alone into the country has also been a factor in the rising
number of children in government care. In other words, he's doing everything ass backwards after
Trump had it under control. Man, and he doesn't even belong in there. He's not even a president.
Temporary shelters are also more than twice as expensive to run compared to
permanent. Fuck it. Get them all. Why don't you go get them all townhouses in San Diego with a view?
They're more expensive compared to permanent shelters. There are currently about
7,000 children in one Toyota Corolla. What?
Nothing around? There are currently 7,000 children in the care of the Department of Health and Human Services. Rez is not even watching the show. I guarantee he's outside throwing a ball with his kid.
I'm watching. I'm watching.
with one hand. Anyways, the care of the Department of Health and Human Services, it is at more than 90% of its capacity under pandemic conditions. Oh, this is just all made up shit. You think you
can kill kids that fucking came from Ecuador? Swimming across fucking outdoor bathrooms,
climbing through shit pipes like Shawshshank redemption to get here gonna kill
him a little covid come on uh the camp at carrizo springs is supposed to close again when the
pandemic restrictions uh can be lifted and i didn't bring you the clip because i'm too lazy
but uh what is this uh peter ducey you know the guy from fox the young kid who busts biden's balls every chance
he was grilling uh the red-headed twat what's her name pasacky jen sacky was just grilling her
saying that he kept bringing up cages i haven't seen pictures of cages but he said you guys and
he was doing quotes for what they said when trump was doing it and he just kept grilling her and of
course she dodged the fucking question never answered it it was wrong under under Trump but this is fine under you people
so it's going to get very Brown folks I like the Mexicans can I be honest
um the the legal ones I'm just saying they're hardworking. The Republicans got a lot of it and we should,
they're conservative.
They work hard as Trump said.
And some of them,
I assume are good people.
Oh,
that was so funny.
Speaking of Latinos and Latinas,
have you checked out this Republican young lady who's going to primary Adam
Kinzinger that jerk off. So funny, these guys, I saw
Kinzinger on Fox like two, three years ago. He seemed like a real right winger. And then
like six months later, he's just bad backstabbing Trump. Anyways, this attractive young lady,
Catalina, L-A-U-F, I'm going to call her Sugarloaf. She tweeted, fake Republican Adam Kinzinger won't put America first.
I will. She said it in Spanish, that kind of schism. No. That's why I'm challenging him for
his seat in Congress. I am the daughter of a legal, with an L, immigrant, small business owner,
and proudly serve the Trump administration. Let's send that jerk off home.
I added jerk off emphasis. Run the clip of this lady. And you know what? Republicans need
a ton of these female Latinos or male, but she's good. I'm a firm believer in the American motto,
united we stand, divided we fall. And we need to be united now more than ever.
we fall and we need to be united now more than ever.
I never thought I'd primary.
Pause,
pause the clip,
pause the clip.
Thank you,
Rez.
Um,
I don't look lady.
You're attractive and I'm happy you're Republican, but what's with the slow motion.
It's like watching Giselle walk the cat way in fucking Milan.
You know what I mean?
Slow motion, uh, the sexy walk.
Sucks cells, but she don't have to do that.
If she was fucking, you know, if you're going to do sex cells, get in a bikini and crawl on all fours towards the camera.
But what is this slow motion supermodel shit?
And, you know, she's very attractive, but go ahead.
Republican anymore.
He isn't.
And we have the proof.
The reality is a majority of our party is united around the America First movement.
My name is Catalina Lau.
And this is Adam Kinzinger, a weak-kneed establishment Republican who cares more about his next MSNBC appearance
than the voters who elected him.
Not grounded in our home of Illinois.
He looks for fame instead of remembering who he works for and the voters who elected him.
This is a reality for Adam.
One out of every three votes he casts in Congress is with Nancy Pelosi.
Instead of focusing on what really matters, instead of being in our fight,
Adam betrayed his constituents for a life in the D.C. swamp.
Kinzinger is one of 10 Republicans who voted with Democrats
to move forward with a phony impeachment hoax
for a president who has already left office.
He said impeachment was necessary to save America.
What? You know what I think is necessary to save america adam
setting term limits to get people like you and the rest of your friends out see senorita mama mia
papa dear i love you for helping me to construct of my life not a tavern but a temple
of my life. Not a tavern, but a temple.
Delicious.
Thank you.
Anyways, Ms. Love is going to primary Adam. It sounds dirty, doesn't it?
I'd love to have a hook of primary me. You know what I'm saying?
Oh, look at her dog. That's a beautiful face um i hope she wins and like i said the republicans know what
they were doing and colin quinn's been saying this the year you go after the latino but they should
have wrapped the whole thing up um but uh let's see if she's just a pretty face or kinzinger what
a backstabber votes to have he's a republican and'll say it again. Somebody said it in a comment section.
It's not my thought, but I went, oh my God, that's it. The Republican party is fake. It's
there to look like somebody is giving resistance to this whole global moment. There's a few of
them in there play their roles better than others. But I really believe that. What's that, John,
you believe that? Yeah. We're always chasing them.
None of them ever gets arrested for doing anything.
And, you know, Lindsey Graham, look at his panties in a bunch when he's three in the mornings wearing a Harry Styles T-shirt and bedazzled sneakers in front of his computer.
But they're full of shit.
They don't do anything
the dirty democrats stick together they're malicious
and I don't like any of them
make me a sandwich
make me a fucking sandwich
yes in our make me a sandwich segment tonight
you guys remember Debbie Wasserman
I think Levin's audience calls
it debbie was a man that's that's sexist that i offended by that but i've always hated this
woman she def remember she was defending wiener when he was talking to 12 year olds and reb uh
deppy deppy deppy wabason debbie waserman. Will you dry your hair?
Every time I see her, she looks like a poodle that just came out of a pool.
I can dry that hair.
Debbie Wasserman Schultz is calling on Florida mayors not to lower their flags in honor of the late talk radio pioneer Rush Limbaugh,
a move which would be in defiance of an order by
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. Can you imagine she's that hateful? She's bothered by that.
Get this through your head. Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you.
That was DeSantos truing her out. Rush Limbaugh spent his career, this is her talking,
Rush Limbaugh spent his career, this is her talking, Rush Limbaugh spent his career normalizing and popularizing hatred and bigotry against people of color, immigrants, women, and the LGBT community. He built a brand around disgusting insults, bolstering rape cult, you fucking, nobody would fuck you for money.
Last person to be worried about right spewing lies about the aids crisis and non-stop bullying what are you a seven-year-old
girl on the plane even bullying people he was a good and decent man unlike you you slithering
worm wasserman schultz wrote in a letter to the local mayor, she was upset because they wanted to
lower the flag on Russia's behalf. Can you imagine being that petty? A liar, liar, whore, liar, whore,
you know it. The Florida Democrat congresswoman added the targets of his attacks often receive
death threats. Yeah, no Republicans receive death threats. It's not like Bill O'Reilly had to
have 12 cops follow him home Sean Hannity to this day and Ann Coulter and I could go on and
on so shut the up Jesus do I hate this this is why I can't get a show on Fox I lose my
attacks often receive death threats from his uh sycophantic fan base. Oh my God. Hey, let me remind you of
something douche. Who shot up a baseball field with a bunch of Republicans on almost killed
Steve's police. Was that somebody from the right then? Oh, that's right. It was a Bernie Sanders
fan. So who are you blaming on that? Shut your filthy legs. To the end, he stoked the environment
that led to an insurrectionist
attack on our capital. This broad
is filled to her fucking
nipples with lies.
Anybody else make you sick? She's a malignant
cunt. Oh, you're right, Pauly.
And dismiss calls to end
such violence. American political
discourse is in a dangerous state.
Our country is the most divided it has been since the Civil War. Thanks to you and the Democrats and the
fucking mainstream media, which is a propaganda arm for your horseshit.
Thanks to the social media and Hollywood. Let me ask you this, Debbie, what party believes in the Constitution?
Is it the one that said once they get into office, they're going to fucking stack the Supreme Court?
They want more abortion on demand. Which one? Which ones? They want to take away Americans' guns.
Which ones? They want to take away Americans' guns.
So Rush was the problem.
Man, I hope you die driving to a golf thing with a couple of famous people.
As we work to heal the nation.
Oh, is that what we're doing?
By trying to shut down Fox News, literally.
And MSNBC, kicking, you know,
I mean, MSNBC, Fox News and Newsmax. Is that how we're healing it? By labeling everybody that voted for Trump as terrorist, domestic terrorist. Is that how you're healing it? It's infected. We're
going to clean it out. We cannot elevate a person credited for fostering our divisions and emboldening the worst tendencies of human nature.
Who does this broad think she is?
Who gives a fuck what you think?
What does she do for a living?
They booted her from her position after that wiener thing.
I think she cuts lawns in Florida.
I think she cuts lawns in Florida.
On Friday, DeSantis said Florida will fly its flags at half-staff when Limbaugh's body is laid to rest.
I quote, he said, there's not much that needs to be said.
The guy was an absolute legend, the governor stated. He was a friend of mine and just a great person.
So who are you going to believe?
DeSantis, who, by the way, is kicking ass, making all the fucking liberal cities look like assholes, all the liberal states. Remember Cuomo making fun of Florida and shit? Now Cuomo's about to go to jail, which will never happen. But DeSantis could run for president tomorrow, probably win.
have not been made public as of Tuesday.
Limbaugh passed away Wednesday at the age of 70 with a battle with lung cancer.
So anyways, yeah, you know how you know he was a force?
Every president from Clinton, maybe even before that,
mentioned him as a force and did it with a little bit of respect at least.
Yeah, but let's not raise the flags for but but you know bernie sanders stubs his toe in the tub or you know we'll have flags at half
mask over the much shut the up imagine he hosted the show for 32 years
and uh i could tell because his voice was getting higher that it wasn't good.
Wasserman Schultz isn't the only Florida Democrat against honoring Limbaugh.
Florida Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Freed announced Monday that she will,
one of the Jew broads had a problem with Rush,
that she will request state offices under her direction to ignore DeSantis' order
to lower flags to honor the radio.
See that? Just ignoring the governor's...
Oh, my God.
Nikki Freed.
Get this through your head, you...
Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you!
Hey, hey, I can say that on the show because I defend Israel with my life.
Anybody watch Fowler yet?
Are you guys taking my suggestions?
It's one of the best TV shows. I'd say
it's even better than Three's Company.
No, it's so fucking good.
Okay, so she likes to
shit on a very famous
conservative that passed away.
So I thought I'd, you know, do a tit-for-tat thing.
I had never heard of this guy until I read the article, because I'm not a pot-smoking,
anti-war jerk-off. But Lawrence Ferlinghetti, disgrace to the Italians, he died at 101.
Well, who was he? Obviously a fag. Look at the frames on his glasses.
who was he? Obviously a fag. Look at the frames on his glasses.
Lawrence Ferlinghetti. He was a poet, publisher,
bookseller and activist out in the look San Francisco who helped launch the beat movement. You know,
the hippies and girls that don't wash their asses for three weeks and we had
tie dye t-shirts and all suck Manson's dick.
He was right in the middle of that.
Helped launch the beat movement in the 50s
and embodied its curious
and rebellious spirit
well into the 21st century.
He died at the age
of 101.
Bye-bye, dickhead.
So everybody's
going to have to put their bongs down and
half-mask.
Ferlinghetti, a San Franciscoobler instant he's an institution in San
Francisco that's all you need to know he died Monday at his home at 101
unbelievable he was on a dirt bike trying to jump a neighbor's garage no
it's a funny a show on the internet I swear to god died monday at his home uh his son lorenzo
ferlinghetti said a month shy of his 102nd birthday ferlinghetti died in his own room
probably had a poster of the fucking uh
uh i don't know jim morrison died in his own room with a lava lamp next to him.
Holding the hands of his son and grabbing the tits of his sister-in-law.
That's fucking Libsildo.
Holding his son's hand in his son's girlfriend's hand.
He was probably trying to finger pop her.
Honestly, they are the fucking worst hippies.
As he took his last breath, I hope he fucking...
We have audio of his last breath.
Oh, I thought he went peacefully.
Good riddance, maggot.
The cause of the death was lung disease.
Oh, how ironic.
Ferlinghetti had received it.
Oh, the Dems say he got it from Rush.
They're blaming him.
They said he spread it to him through the airwaves.
Ferlinghetti had received the first dose of a COVID vaccine last week.
Oh, coincidence.
I say we get more of that shit out to the San Francisco area.
Anyways, few poets of the past 60 years were so well-known.
Anybody ever hear of them?
No.
No.
Just acid dealers.
Raz, I thought you had all his books, no?
No, hell no.
Sick.
Fucking an Italian hippie.
That's fucking sickening.
The fuck you should have Mussolini books.
Mussolini.
What is that?
Something to make you shit in the morning?
Have you tried the Mussolini?
60 years was so well known.
He was influential.
His books sold more than a million copies worldwide.
Oh, so I see.
He was all about peace and communes and whatever sharing.
But, you know, a million books.
Give me the fucking money.
You hear me?
You hear me?
They're all phony.
Worldwide, a fantasy for virtually any of his peers,
and he ran one of the world's most famous and distinctive bookstores,
City Lights, which I've actually heard of because I used to go out to San Francisco
in the 90s and try to score some African hash.
Although he never considered himself one of the beats,
he was a patron and soulmate,
and for many, a lasting symbol,
preaching a nobler and more ecstatic American dream.
He says, and this is his quote,
am I the consciousness of a generation
or just some old fool sounding off
and trying to escape the dominant materialist,
avaricious consciousness of America.
I'd say you're the latter.
You're an old fool who liked little boys.
I don't know that.
Who said that?
He did, Mr. Ferlinghetti.
Who the fuck said that?
Ferlinghetti!
Who's the slimy little communist shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant?
Ferlinghetti. He made history through the city. City Lights publishing arm. He published
books by Jack Kerouac, William S. Burroughs, and Bill Walton. What? And many others came out,
and the release of Allen Ginsberg's landmark poem, Howl, which I wiped my ass with in eighth grade.
That poem led to the 1957 obesity case.
Obesity?
Says obscenity.
I thought it was a poem about a fat chick.
1957.
My eyes get tired about halfway through the show.
Obscenity case that broke new ground for freedom of expression.
He also defied history.
The internet, superstore chains, and high rents shut down numerous booksellers in the Bay Area and beyond.
But City Lights remained a thriving political and cultural outlet where one section was devoted to books enabling, oh, here we go,
revolutionary competence where employees could
get the day off to attend anti-war protests well as a tribute to you i'd like to say this
you're listening yeah your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks you got that pretty
sure she's dead he died at 101 but i'm gonna go out on a limb I'm no doctor generally people
seem to get more conservative as they age he said but in my case I seem to
have gotten more radical which tells you he's there's an old saying who said it
was a Churchill about when you're young if you're if you're conservative you
have no heart and when you're older if you're not a conservative you have no
fucking brains or whatever I butchered that, but who gives a shit?
It works.
Huh?
It works.
You got the gist.
Anyway, so he got more radical as he got older.
Ferlinghetti told Interview Magazine in 2013 that he thought he was the best thing that ever lived.
I just made that up.
But again.
I suck cock.
Good.
And I love it.
Yummy, yummy, yummy. I heard there's plenty of them down in hell.
Suck cock.
Good.
And I love it.
Yummy, yummy, yummy. I heard there's plenty of them down in hell.
Now let's do our food segment.
I'll be giving out the best five recipes for potato salad in this hell.
We should put some, we really should put some fruity fucking segment right in the middle of the show.
I missed all this vitriol.
You know what I mean? Like, I don't like I don't know we fuck I critique ladies bras or
something oh that would actually be funny anyways so as you know ladies and
gentlemen and god bless you for watching because you're keeping this show alive
Jason how old is the show at this point oh my god i'm gonna slow down that fucking hit a meth
anyways as you know we're under attack us conservatives and big tech is just
they're putting a hammer down they're stepping on our throats and they're not even again i forgot i
told you guys yesterday i'd bring in the article about a memo that two two people in congress in
california sent to the FCC saying,
what are you going to, no, excuse me,
they sent it to Verizon and to Comcast,
big cable company carriers,
saying, when are you going to kick Fox News off the air, Newsmax?
They're spreading disinformation.
Can you imagine them trying to legislate this shit?
I almost hope it happens, because then I really think the thing will kick off
the civil war.
You take away my Shannon Breen.
I will show up at your house with a fucking dirty spork.
Stick it in your forehead.
Anyways,
they went after Crowder again.
I love Steven Crowder.
He has been out there on the front lines for years,
has a great fucking show.
He was a little bit of a dick to me the last time I saw him but that's alright here's a screenshot Twitter Twitter kicked him off or
suspended him or whatever he says this is a screenshot because the fashion of
Twitter won't allow me to share it we have a clip I've what he did was he went out Dave Landau
who's a Anthony Comey is a sidekick works a crowded to Crowder sent him and
some guys out to some addresses they found on ballots in whatever state
doesn't really matter so they went to the actual addresses, and this is what they found at a lot of them.
1-835-6 seems to be an abandoned building.
Yeah.
Now, we did confirm it was abandoned, right?
Oh, it was.
Yeah, we're not sending people.
Like, some guy just lived and was just like, this isn't abandoned.
I just like having three parking garages in my house.
Can I do this?
Can't I do this?
Yeah, they went to a bunch of addresses and found similar results that they were
burnt out buildings and shit.
So he puts that on Twitter.
And Twitter says they put up that.
What's that thing they put up at the bottom?
Do we have it?
They put up that, what's that thing they put up at the bottom?
Do we have it?
Can't be replied to, retweeted, or liked due to a risk of violence.
Jack Dorsey, you better watch your fucking faggy back.
Literally saying, literally saying, this is the truth you can't hear it because it doesn't fit a narrative you can't handle the truth un-fucking-believable wow and the problem is people
going well the congress will take care of the big time no see because even the republicans are
getting greased by money from Silicon Valley.
They're in on it.
So we're going to have to put Jason in a car and a minivan with a bunch of some type of, I don't know.
I don't want to say anything, get me in trouble.
But, you know, cow manure and what's the other?
Fertilizer, 70 pounds of fucking cow shit and send them up to uh you know up to san leandro
find where pakai lives i say you just hurt one of their pets send them a message italian stuff
oh i'm kidding folks i don't condone violence in any way. Speaking of violence.
No, no, no, no.
Boy, in our FLA segment tonight.
I wonder what we got.
Florida never disappoints.
Let's see the headline here.
Florida man to plead guilty to scissors assault.
Oh, boy.
The Florida man charged with mutilating his wife's bound lover is set to plead guilty to the scissor attack, though he claims to have blacked out.
They always say this.
They remember everything but the and during
the incident apparently blacked out and cannot recall any details of the bloody
offense which left the victim with a severed get this penis
isn't it funny they always go I blacked out it's like a little kid you catch
him stealing cookies out of the jar.
Alex Bonilla.
By the way, we're going to have a lot more
of these Bonillas coming in
thanks to, you know,
the way Biden's handling immigration.
Alex Bonilla, 51, is scheduled
to plead guilty Thursday. It gets
better, folks, to multiple felony
charges in connection with the horrifying
July 2019 assault
inside the victim's mobile home in bell a town 40 miles west of gainesville but nia who has been
jailed since his arrest lived across the street from the victim who is married with two young
daughters but nia a father of five who immigrated from el salvador in 1990, resided with his 35-year-old second wife
and the couple's three young children.
Prosecutors will ask circuit judge
to sentence Bonita 30 years in prison,
according to a state attorney's office spokesman.
Bonita has been charged with kidnapping,
burglary, aggravated battery with a deadly weapon,
aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.ated assault with a uh with a deadly weapon
i just i get angry looking at him when i fucking smash his fucking face in a pre-sentence report
filed last month by the florida department of corrections provides a harrowing account of
benita's attack which came two months after he caught his wife having sex with the victim
so i can understand the anger but i the execution was horrible
you know i mean there's other ways to do get back you have the guy over pretend you don't
know anything about it right and you you make you cook a nice turkey dinner for him and his wife but
you you you pour the turkey the raw turkey blood into his potato you know i mean then he his pants
you know what I mean? Then he shits his pants.
That probably doesn't fit the crime.
Anyway, so the Benia was having sex with, I mean,
sorry, the neighbor was having
sex with Benia's wife and he
actually walked in on it. Imagine
all the people that walk in.
The
Antichrist.
You got me in a vendetta kind of mood.
Okay.
The Florida man charged with mutilating his wife's bound lover is set to plead guilty to the scissor attack, though he claims to have blacked out during the incident, cannot recall any details of the bloody offense,
which left the victim with a severed penis. In an interview with a probation officer, Bonilla said that he met with a victim
in the man's home and told him, you need to stay away from my wife and leave her alone.
Bonilla claimed that a scuffle ensued with the victim tackling him. The defendant stated he then blacked out you fucking lying and he doesn't remember anything from that
point uh on so um does anybody really believe that why doesn't somebody talk to the victim
oh they did let's hear his side are you interested in the real story yes i am see you know the victim
however provided a gruesome detailed recollection of the premeditated attack that began when Bonilla showed up at his home with a nine millimeter handgun tucked under his arm.
I came here to fix something, Bonilla said.
I'm guessing it's not the flat screen, according to the victim.
After accompanying the victim into the bedroom, Bonilla first threatened to strike the man with a metal pipe he removed
from his pants. Bonilla then tied the victim's hands behind his back. I guess you have to let
him do that if he's got a gun. Saying after he tied his hands behind the back, he said,
the Antichrist, you got me in a vendetta kind of mood. You are not going to die, he says,
but you are going to have something to remember this for your whole life.
Bonilla then pulled down the man's shorts, saying, this is normal.
You will not die today.
Probably is in El Salvador.
After putting on a pair of gloves, you know, COVID, Bonilla tied a rubber band at the base of the victim's penis.
Oh, that hurts.
I hate that.
Tied it several times around the base of the penis to cut off the circulation.
He then took out a pair of scissors and said,
this is for all the women you've been having relationships with.
As blood spurted everywhere, Bonilla cut off three quarters of the victim's penis.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. cut off three quarters of the victim's penis before departing with the severed organ.
The fuck's he going to do with that? Why would you leave with it?
Bonilla warned the victim, don't act this way. This is normal. And if you try to call the police,
I'll be out in two months and I'll come back and finish this. The victim said that when Bonilla opened the bedroom
door to leave, he saw his daughter, his oldest daughter was laying on the ground by the bottom
of the door, watching through the crack between the floor and the bottom of the door. Can you
imagine? She's finished. The victim whose penis was not recovered recovered I thought they said they found
that under Tigers truck or something didn't guy throw it up there oh it's a
different state was not recovered told the probation officer that urinating and
the ability to have sex with his wife has been messed up for the rest of I
have those two problems nobody cut my dick off he added that the doctors have
told him he will never have any
sensation in his penis again oh yeah I
get two words for your cheese grater
what imagine he's now the guys walk
around with a dead prick so he's not
really a man anymore
poor guy So he's not really a man anymore. Poor guy.
I'm sick fucks from those countries.
Nick, there's sick people everywhere.
I don't want to hear it.
Okay.
Let's move on to something light and airy.
How about an American Airlines jet that you're on,
almost getting hit by a fucking missile from our own government?
Did you guys read this one?
American Airlines not denying possibility of UFO spotting.
The pilot on flight 2292 radioed around 1 p.m. Central Standard Time and said that the unidentifiable
object was flying right on top of them, according to a transmission recorded by Steve Douglas on
his blog, Deep Black Horizon. American Airlines verified to Fox News that the transmission
is from flight 2292. This is the second day in a row we've played a pilot, isn't it?
Again, the guy stays very calm.
But listen, here's the audio.
Do we have any targets up here? We just had
something go right over the top of us.
I hate to say this, it looked like
a long cylindrical object. It almost
looked like a cruise missile type of thing
moving really fast. It went right over the top
of us.
Turned it out it was Rosie O'Donnell's vibrator.
Imagine that, seeing that, you're a pilot.
American Airlines confirmed that the radio transmission is authentic,
but did not give any further comment on the possible alien encounter.
but did not give any further comment on the possible alien encounter.
Following a debriefing with our flight crew and additional information received,
we can confirm this radio transmission was from American Airlines Flight 22 on February 21st,
an American Airlines spokesman told Fox News.
For any additional questions on this, we encourage you to reach out to the FBI.
The FBI did not immediately respond to requests for comment on Tuesday. I don't know nothing about that.
Well, you should. Flight 2292 was around 37,000 feet at the time of the sighting,
and Albuquerque Center did not respond because local air traffic interfered, according to
Douglas. The flight went on to land in Phoenix, Arizona.
New Mexico, get this, folks.
This is what freaked me out.
New Mexico is home to White Sands Missile Range.
I didn't even know we had range.
It's like a gun range, only you play with missiles.
That's so fucking cool.
I got to get out there.
Where do I buy these missiles?
Which is located in the southern part of the state
and is described as the Department
of Defense's largest
fully instrumented
open air range.
I'm going to find out what the hell
happened here.
White Sands Missile Range did not
respond. I bet the fuck they did to a request
for a comment on Tuesday. Can I ask you
a question? Why are you flying anywhere near that part of New Mexico where they have a missile range?
Let me go to the gun range near my house and stand behind the targets looking for my watch.
What in Christ's creation is going on? And you know how nobody gets back for comment?
You know what that means? Yeah, we fucked up.
Good thing that wasn't a heat seeker.
You know what would have happened?
We would have blamed it on North Korea or some shit.
I mean, can you imagine?
That could have been me going to Yuck Yucks in Phoenix.
With 12 disappointed people.
Nothing, anybody?
The fuck? Working like springsteen getting nothing
finally tonight let's go after uh the little hitler fauci and i don't know how the cnn i can't believe we're talking about trying to take fox off the air because of misinformation
cnn is the most evil propaganda i mean it has been way before Trump came on for years, just lying.
And like we said, MSNBC, the same thing, but at least they're up front of who they are.
CNN pretends to be objective and shit, you know, Don Lemon, the goo gobbler.
And anyways, Fauci was on CNN. So this must have been a hard hitting interview, right?
With Alison Camerota, who actually worked at Fox at one
point. The director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases spoke to CNN's
Alison Camerota, who asked if Trump's actions, here's the tea, tee it up, you know, they got
to blame Trump, and she has to ask, if Trump's actions contributed to the U.S. death toll,
which crossed the 500,000 mark this week.
I would have said, does it contribute to that?
Yeah, it would have been a lot higher if he didn't block those flights from China.
That would have been the right answer.
Sure, contributed.
He did a great job.
Then he got vaccines ready for Biden in warp speed.
End of interview.
But no, little Hitler, who's been lying about everything.
I think he's got stock.
And I'm not shitting him and Bill gates's dad and and fucking moderna or whatever one of these that
came out yeah you think he has any interest in this um she says do you think that his denial
and lack of facts contributed to this level of loss uh what a what a hard-hitting question that
was it's a sick question you're a sick fucker i'm not that
sick that i'm gonna answer it let's take a look at the video we're very very cool we've done it
very well everything's really under control um that's do you think that is trump denial
and lack of facts um contributed to this level of loss well i, I think the, I mean, I'm uncomfortable
going back and directly criticizing,
but it's really almost self-evident.
Allison, you're lying.
And you're a piece of shit.
It's self-evident.
Really?
Trump said that on one day to keep us calm.
You know, his denial and I'm going to teed up for you, Mr. Fauci, because I know you're taking a lot of heat right now because you've been wrong.
Let me give you some examples of him being wrong.
Examples of him being wrong. The wearing of masks, the physical distancing, the avoiding congregate settings, the kind of things that I and many, this is Fauci talking, of the other public health people who were there trying to get the country to appreciate this, that we're trying to do all throughout the entire outbreak. I mean, the thing I remember very clearly is when we were trying to open up the country,
open up the economy and to do it carefully with a gateway.
Remember the phase one, phase two, phase three,
I was hoping that would see a uniform,
unified approach towards all doing that together.
And when signals come saying, this isn't so bad, we're in pretty good shape.
When we're saying we're not, we're not, we, we being the health people, that
was not helpful because the people who wanted to deny that this is something
that was serious, when you get a signal from above that it might not be so bad,
then you don't do the kinds of things you need to do.
So he's blaming Trump.
Well, let me just give you a list of Fauci's greatest hits
as far as when he was wrong.
Okay, just a couple of them before we go.
Even if you decide these are not lies,
but lapsed as a judgment by Fauci,
they had potentially lethal consequences.
Take, for instance, Fauci's serenity back on January 21st
when he assured us that the virus convulsing China at the time
is not a major threat for the people of the United States.
That's a quote.
And this is not something the citizens of the U.S.
right now should be worried about. He's a quote. And this is not something the citizens of the U.S. right now should be
worried about. He actually said that. To be fair, the pandemic caught a lot of people unaware, but
the thing about Fauci is that he always is so sure of himself, the guy who wrote this.
The following week, he was at it again,
vehemently opposing President Trump's proposed flight ban from China,
which Biden at the time decried as xenophobic.
So he was against that, too.
It was January 28th, and Trump had asked his trade advisor, Peter Navarro, into the Situation Room to convince Fauci and the other officials that the China travel ban would save lives.
And then Navarro, this is a quote from Navarro, the guy fought the most that day with was Fauci, Navarro said.
He was adamantly opposed to the travel ban.
All he kept saying was travel restrictions won't work.
All he kept saying was travel restrictions won't work.
What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard.
Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.
May God have mercy on your soul.
Navarro pushed back and said, if you stop 20,000 Chinese nationals coming in every day and some are infected. You're telling me that's not going to spread the virus?
It was like talking to a brick wall, he said.
You're a real crumbum. The next day, Navarro wrote a memo outlining three options.
If you do nothing and there's no danger, that's okay.
If you do the travel ban and there's no danger, you'll lose a few million dollars.
But if you do nothing, excuse me, and there is a danger, the risk is a million American lives and more than $2 trillion in damages.
See what happens when a businessman with clear thinking who doesn't let politics bleed into his mind.
Trump imposed a travel ban on January 31st
and Fauci later credited the action with saving lives.
So he hasn't, it's not like he's been wrong about little things.
These things have been fucking huge.
Yet he's on TV on CNN yesterday.
But says Navarro, if Biden had been president
and Fauci had been the top advisor,
we'd probably have a million more American dead right now. And I don't know how you can fucking argue with that.
You are correct, sir. Then there finally there was Fauci's advice
on masks. Back in March, when the coronavirus was decimating New York, he told us masks
were useless. Right now in the United States, people should not be walking around with masks, he told 60 Minutes.
Three months later, he did a backflip.
Masks work to prevent you from infecting someone else, but also it can protect you to a certain degree.
degree. In December, Fauci admitted to New York Times, listen to this, that he had slowly but deliberately been moving the goalposts on the percentage of the population that needed to be
vaccinated before herd immunity against COVID-19 was reached. He actually says this, this is a quote,
when polls said only about half of all Americans would take a vaccine. I was saying herd immunity would take 70, 75%. Then
when newer surveys said 60% or more would take it, I thought, hey, I can nudge this up a bit.
So I went to 80, 85%. He's admitting. He's admitting to lying and was still listening
to this guy. Why? I don't want to talk to you get away from me
anyways that's it folks uh the guy's still on tv treating him like uh like a hero uh don't forget
thecomicsgym.com that's where they show permanently so move your stuff over there when you can uh
show permanently so move your stuff over there when you can uh go to nickdip.com click on my tour button i think we have some dates up there back on the road soon uh and don't forget cameo.com
if you want me to roast one of your friends or relatives somebody you dislike or say happy
birthday to your uncle ted i will be glad to do it i make a video on my phone and uh
I will be glad to do it. I make a video on my phone and for a measly price, I send it to whoever wants to be roasted and people love it. A lot of them do it for birthdays and stuff. So
anyways, thanks again for watching the show. That is it. You guys think it, I will say it.
You're very welcome. We'll see you back here at the same time, last day of the week already,
tomorrow. Take care. here at the same time last day of the week already uh tomorrow take care guitar solo I'm out.