The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump: Indictment Pure Politics | Nick Di Paolo Show #1413
Episode Date: June 12, 2023In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about the Trump indictment and more! Like what you hear? Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Lou...der with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com
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🎵 Furthermore, you can all go fuck yourselves.
Hey, take it easy.
Welcome to the show on a filthy Monday from the great state of Georgia.
You know, where Trump committed all kinds of felonies.
We'll get that in a second.
Boy, boy, boy.
The left is just doing this to the right.
Go ahead.
Stop us.
We're going to turn this into a third world shithole.
We have wiped our ass for the Constitution for the last fucking two years.
You guys won't even stand up and do anything about it.
Well, you're only...
I love my girl,
I'm getting into it right after,
Carrie Lake out there in Arizona,
who lost the race for whatever the fuck it was,
Senator, I can't remember.
Anyway, she's like, when they indicted Trump,
she's like, yeah, he's got 75 million followers
and most of them are NRA members.
That's what I've been waiting to hear from somebody. And then there was some
congressman who, I don't know, some big young guy who said, pretty much, let's go drop the glove.
It was beautiful. It's getting ugly. Everybody was talking about this with Colin Quinn. Everybody's
just sort of, you know, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Just kind of quietly going about your business.
This can't stand.
It can't stand, my friends.
Anyway, how was your weekend?
Was it good?
Good?
It was good?
What the fuck did I do?
I paid 80 bucks for UFC.
And you know what?
Worth every goddamn penny.
I watch at my own leisure. As you know,
I don't watch sports in real time or anything else. I refuse to. And Amanda Nunes, she's this,
you're a woman. Tough looking, whatever. She's gay, but I told you, I love her.
She's got this great personality. She doesn't fly the gay flag just a badass she can beat up a lot of guys and she's the greatest to
ever do it as far as females go and she kicked the shit out of somebody last night and retired
there's nobody to fuck she's going off for their wife they got kids she's happy I fucking love her
absolutely love her personality and just a badass. I don't like the
idea there's a woman that can kick my face in.
Yikes.
Anyways,
she was on the main card.
But the undercard,
on the other, the fights under her
on the main card were unbelievable.
Charles Oliveira is this
guy from Brazil,
I believe.
He's got like platinum blonde, you know, bleached hair.
Just ripped.
Just a fucking badass.
He's fighting this guy who, this was the co-main event, I think.
He was fighting this guy.
I can't even remember his name.
But he's from Syria.
He's Iranian.
And when he, did we talk about this last week?
When they fought UFC during COVID, remember they fought over in Abu Dhabi?
He comes out after winning a fight and goes, I want to thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
He said that in Saudi Arabia.
Talk about stones.
Wow.
And he's a great fighter.
He was favored to beat Charles Oliveira, who you guys know is a future Hall of Famer.
He's that good.
And this fucking Oliveira cleaned his car.
Just a crazy motherfucker.
And then a kid from Canada.
There was six fights.
Canadians.
It was up in Vancouver.
That's how they do it. Whatever city, they usually pull.
If there's some contenders
from that city, they throw them on the ticket. And so there were six fighters from Canada.
They went 6-0. And not all of them were favored either. And there's this one kid, Mike Malloy.
No, Mallot. I'm sorry. Not Malloy. Mallott. Because Mallott's like a good hockey name.
Mike Mallott proper.
Just a white kid from Canada.
Shredded.
And this kid, keep your eye on him.
He's going to be.
He fucking.
It was supposed to be a great fight.
I don't know who he finished in like a round and a half.
I can't even remember.
I'm just saying all the fights are great.
I just.
I've been trying to talk Colin Quinn into watching this shit
because he's still a boxing fan.
I mean, get out of the fucking Dark Ages.
Speaking of boxing,
John Gotti III,
he fought Mayweather Jr.,
Floyd Mayweather Jr.,
and it went just how you'd think it'd go
when thug Italians and thug blacks get together.
You got fucking ugly.
All right.
That and hockey was tremendous.
Vegas is one game away.
Can you imagine if they win the cup tomorrow night in Vegas,
what that cup is going to go through?
There's going to be hookers and strippers pissing in it.
Hockey players drinking from it.
It's, you know, fucking, they're going to have Siegfried and Roy.
One of them's dead, but they'll have the Tigers taking a shit in it.
It's going to be terrific.
Let's get to the story.
Big story, and this really is huge.
You know, the indictment.
Federal charges indict this.
Former President Donald Trump said on Saturday he would never leave the 2024 presidential race,
even if he is convicted on any of the 38 felony charges issued against him in an indictment this week.
So, of course, he's not going to lay down.
This is Donald Trump, man.
I am your voice.
They're trying to silence it.
Trump revealed his indictment on Thursday.
The indictment stems from Special Counsel Jack Smith's investigation into Trump's handling of the White House documents. This
indictment marks the second one against the former president after district attorney,
this fat fuck, Alvin Bragg, yeah, there he is.
Y'all fat fuck, look at you.
Announced a grand jury returned an indictment on charges
it pursued in a case alleging Trump falsified business record.
Have you ever seen anything like this?
Sending the whole DOJ against your political opponent.
This is fucking unheard of.
This guy, I'm not going to say it.
These are thugs.
This is Trump talking.
The thugs, degenerates, who are apt to be.
That stunk. These are thugs. This is Trump talking. The thugs, the degenerates who are after me.
That stunk.
Trump said, speaking of Smith and other top brass within the U.S. Department of Justice.
Yes, sir.
Trump told Politico he does not anticipate accepting a plea deal, but left open the possibility of doing so where they pay me some damages.
deal, but left open the possibility of doing so where they pay me some damages.
I don't think they'll ever have to, Trump said when speaking on the possibility of parting himself if he was the 2024 presidential election.
I didn't do anything wrong, which why shouldn't we believe him?
Trump mentioned his skyrocketing fundraising numbers since the indictment.
Nobody, he says, nobody wants to be indicted. Trump said,
I don't care that my poll numbers went up by a lot. I don't want to be indicted. I never had
been indicted. I went through my whole life. Now I get indicted every two months. It's like Milana's period every two months two months honey what is it it's
been political of course it has do you believe this yet do you believe it
here's the thing you got William by his former Attorney General saying he's
toast but he's come out against Trump a couple times, remember? He's also backed
them with the Russia gate thing. So I don't know where that creep stands. I'm hoping, you know,
it's a sturdy pool. It doesn't fucking, this is unbelievable. Witch Hunt doesn't describe what
this is. This is unprecedented. Nobody's ever sent the DOJ after a president. So you got William Barr saying that.
But then it's going to go to some, I guess, how it works.
The final judge is going to be a woman that Trump appointed in Miami, I believe.
In Miami is where it's going to be done.
So the left is going shithouse.
You see how they are? It's not bad enough you're
hunting this guy down for no reason. They're pissed the judge isn't going to be right out of
Berkeley. So she's somebody that Trump appointed. And I read how that works. People are going,
it's picked at random. And they read it like judges only do so many cases a year at least in this district or wherever she is in
florida and then they move on one guy retired it was like three moves that it ended up she was the
only one like available which you can believe that or not whatever i don't give a shit don't
get too excited because we all get excited when uh Roberts, is that his name? Supreme Court?
Yeah. Fucking healthcare. Remember he fucked us? So don't get too excited because unfortunately,
the rights still play by the rules sometimes. I hope she's as biased as anybody. This is insane,
man. It really is. And you think it would be wall to wall, but you know, no, but he's true.
And you'd think it would be wall-to-wall, but, you know.
No, but he's true.
I can't even take it.
Anyways, in the second half of the show, folks,
I'm going to be talking about why Philly just became more of a nightmare to live in than it ever has been, and that's saying a lot.
And why I think Britney Spears has been dead for quite a while.
You won't want to miss that.
I usually
don't do pop culture, but when a bitch are dead, the bitch are dead. I'd still yank at
her with those big brown deer eyes. Anyhow, yeah. I'm not the only one that thinks that,
by the way. There's all kinds of shit. I think we're going to get into that. Aren't we? Yeah,
we are. That's why I just plugged it. Anyways, it's exclusively on
Mug Club, so join now to get it at nickdapaloshow.com. All righty then. Double standard,
double jeopardy is the headline. Excuse me, little phlegm. By the way, I'm 207.9 this morning.
A little phlegm.
By the way, I'm 207.9 this morning.
I haven't seen that in, God, I don't know, Christ, since I won Miss America in the early 60s.
Nothing?
A decade.
I want to see proof.
Yeah.
Oh, I got pictures.
Swimsuit edition.
Yes.
Swimsuit, what do you call it? And I juggled on a unicycle for my talent while playing Spanish lady on a leaf.
A decade-old legal case that could exonerate former President Donald Trump has been buried by legacy media.
Special Counsel Jack Smith is terrified of the only standing legal case decision from a court concerning the Presidential Records Act, said Chris Farrell.
That's Chris right there.
That's Chris.
I'm sorry.
Who was that guy before?
Oh, that was Jack Smith.
That's what that jerk off looks like.
Good.
I'll remember that when I take a ride down there.
Nice.
This is Chris Farrell, and he's a tailor for David Letterman,
Director of Investigations at Judicial Watch.
The case Farrell is referring to is titled
Judicial Watch vs. National Archives and Records Administration,
also known as the Clinton sock drawer case.
Why is that?
Former president, I didn't know this.
Former president Bill Clinton created White House audio tapes.
Did he learn anything from Nixon?
Audio tapes with historian Taylor Branch and stored them in his sock drawer.
I didn't powder my head.
Judicial Watch sued, by the way, Judicial
Watch is that Tom Fitton, is that his name?
The guy who, he's always digging into this shit.
He's fucking right.
I think it's him.
Sued to obtain access to the tapes.
And guess what?
They lost, okay?
They lost to this lying piece of cheese.
I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
He's actually hitting the table for more emphasis.
I hope you're talking about Hillary.
That fucking...
yeast infection.
He took them from the White House.
This is what we're talking about, Bill.
He took them from the White House
with him into his private life, said Farrell.
There's classified material on those tapes, and arguably it's the sort of running stream
of consciousness record of Bill Clinton's presidency.
Oh, my God.
So this isn't scripted.
It's him.
Pretty important stuff, Farrell says.
Special Counsel Jack Smith is currently investigating
45th president for his handling
of classified documents
since departing the White House.
But Farrell says the ruling
in this specific case from 2012,
meaning Clinton's case,
exonerates Trump from any alleged wrongdoing.
Well, I don't know.
Who do you, you know?
I don't know who to believe.
I say you give it to Judge Judy.
Amy Berman Jackson, the judge presiding,
and she looks like she doesn't like cock.
I'll go out on a limb, a nice hairy one.
Amy Berman Jackson, the judge presiding on that case,
said a couple of very important things, said Farrell,
that the president had an absolute,
so this is,
she was on the Clinton case. She said he had an absolute, meaning Clinton at the time,
unreviewable right to take any records or documents that he wants when he leaves office.
No one, she said, can come back and second guess or double think or ask questions about what the president likes to take with him.
Farrell said, by the way, to end that statement.
So shut up, mind your fucking business and shut up.
Exactly.
But since when do the you guys think the Democrats going to play by the rules?
They've been wiping their ass with the Constitution since they got in there.
You think they're going to?
This is interesting.
This is and this threats. They say the threats are up from good. Let's bring it to a head, could we? Please, just
don't fuck up my house. In her ruling, Jackson wrote that the president enjoys unconstrained
authority to make decisions, again, this is about Bill, regarding the disposal of documents,
although the president must notify the archivist,
I don't know if Trump did that or not, before disposing of records. Neither the archivist nor
Congress has the authority to veto the president's disposal decision. Well, that's pretty clear.
It's just a matter of if the Dems are going to play by the rules or not. I wouldn't hold my
breath. Farrell points out that this, can I give you my theory before I forget?
And I think I said this on the show before.
And again, they released that indictment on Trump
the same day, the same day that information came out
that leaked stuff about Biden taking the 5 million
from Burisma and those dirty people over there.
It came out on the same day.
I think, I don't know the timeline.
I don't know how fast the courts work.
I'm not a lawyer,
but I don't think the Dems want Biden.
I think they've made it clear
they don't want him as the nominee.
I think they're going to go after him too,
or they're going to, you know,
let whatever the Republicans go after him.
And then the Dems can go, see, it wasn't political.
We went after Joe, too.
You know, we didn't just go after Trump.
That's my take.
There's a prediction.
Again, I don't know what the timeline is.
Farrell points out that this ruling has existed without challenge or question for 10 years.
And that has been the standing law unchallenged for the United States
for something like 10 or 11 years, said Farrell. No one challenged it. Unreviewable,
absolute authorities take whatever the president wants, and no one can second guess it.
Nothing's that simple ever, though, is it? I mean, that's pretty clear.
Trump claims Smith's investigation into his documents was all about election interference claim.
It's a fucking fact.
You're out of order.
You're out of order.
The whole trial is out of order.
You're out of order.
Great movie, Justice for All.
Don't you care, Arthur?
Don't you care?
I do.
So, again, we're living in unprecedented times.
I can't believe the gall.
And again, we're talking about this.
As we're talking about this,
half of South and Central America pouring in.
People unvetted.
I am so...
A year from now now wait till you read
the fucking crime
reports and shit you see what's going over
and going on in Europe and shit
remember they let everybody
the crime goes through the
fucking roof don't think it's not going to happen here
I don't know what to tell you
anyhow
if Trump is not on that ballot, January 6th, thought that was, maybe they'll actually have a real, I'm not encouraging that, folks.
That's dirty pool.
I'm just saying.
Left, you haven't seen the,
they've been trolling the right
since Biden got in office.
They're just poking them in the chest.
Come on, motherfuckers.
Because they want you to respond violently and shit.
Then they can come down on you.
But can you imagine?
That's, like Trump said,
it's not just about him.
It's about us.
He's standing in between them and
us that's no exaggeration if they can do that to him what they're not going to freeze your bank
account when you post something bad about kamala or whatever it's fucking they're using china's
playbook they're not even original make your own
fuck socialism
fuck communism
come up with something
they can't
they want to use something
that's never worked
depending on the way
definition
of what worked is
I don't know
anyways ladies and gentlemen
for those of you guys
on Mug Club
stick around for the second
half of the show
everyone else
go to NickDepaloShow.com
join to get my full show
and Steven Crowder's show and a whole lot more. And click on my tour button if you want to see
where I'll be live. I'm still doing stand-up. And later in the week, I think it's Thursday,
I get Noam Dwarman, who is the owner of the Comedy Cellar. His father, Manny, was the guy who founded it. And I love, Norm went to UPenn,
but he's, I don't want to say right wing, but he's right, he's the most fair guy. And he
happens to be leaning our way right now because the left is fucking nuts. And he's really smart.
I think he went to law school there. And he's personal and funny. And thanks
to his establishment, I'm here now making $1,150 a year. Anyways, he'll be on that show on Thursday. guitar solo Outro Music