The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump: Indictment Pure Politics | Nick Di Paolo Show #1413

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about the Trump indictment and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Lou...der with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 Furthermore, you can all go fuck yourselves. Hey, take it easy. Welcome to the show on a filthy Monday from the great state of Georgia. You know, where Trump committed all kinds of felonies. We'll get that in a second. Boy, boy, boy. The left is just doing this to the right. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:00:52 Stop us. We're going to turn this into a third world shithole. We have wiped our ass for the Constitution for the last fucking two years. You guys won't even stand up and do anything about it. Well, you're only... I love my girl, I'm getting into it right after, Carrie Lake out there in Arizona,
Starting point is 00:01:08 who lost the race for whatever the fuck it was, Senator, I can't remember. Anyway, she's like, when they indicted Trump, she's like, yeah, he's got 75 million followers and most of them are NRA members. That's what I've been waiting to hear from somebody. And then there was some congressman who, I don't know, some big young guy who said, pretty much, let's go drop the glove. It was beautiful. It's getting ugly. Everybody was talking about this with Colin Quinn. Everybody's
Starting point is 00:01:41 just sort of, you know, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Just kind of quietly going about your business. This can't stand. It can't stand, my friends. Anyway, how was your weekend? Was it good? Good? It was good? What the fuck did I do?
Starting point is 00:01:58 I paid 80 bucks for UFC. And you know what? Worth every goddamn penny. I watch at my own leisure. As you know, I don't watch sports in real time or anything else. I refuse to. And Amanda Nunes, she's this, you're a woman. Tough looking, whatever. She's gay, but I told you, I love her. She's got this great personality. She doesn't fly the gay flag just a badass she can beat up a lot of guys and she's the greatest to ever do it as far as females go and she kicked the shit out of somebody last night and retired
Starting point is 00:02:35 there's nobody to fuck she's going off for their wife they got kids she's happy I fucking love her absolutely love her personality and just a badass. I don't like the idea there's a woman that can kick my face in. Yikes. Anyways, she was on the main card. But the undercard, on the other, the fights under her
Starting point is 00:02:58 on the main card were unbelievable. Charles Oliveira is this guy from Brazil, I believe. He's got like platinum blonde, you know, bleached hair. Just ripped. Just a fucking badass. He's fighting this guy who, this was the co-main event, I think.
Starting point is 00:03:19 He was fighting this guy. I can't even remember his name. But he's from Syria. He's Iranian. And when he, did we talk about this last week? When they fought UFC during COVID, remember they fought over in Abu Dhabi? He comes out after winning a fight and goes, I want to thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He said that in Saudi Arabia.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Talk about stones. Wow. And he's a great fighter. He was favored to beat Charles Oliveira, who you guys know is a future Hall of Famer. He's that good. And this fucking Oliveira cleaned his car. Just a crazy motherfucker. And then a kid from Canada.
Starting point is 00:03:57 There was six fights. Canadians. It was up in Vancouver. That's how they do it. Whatever city, they usually pull. If there's some contenders from that city, they throw them on the ticket. And so there were six fighters from Canada. They went 6-0. And not all of them were favored either. And there's this one kid, Mike Malloy. No, Mallot. I'm sorry. Not Malloy. Mallott. Because Mallott's like a good hockey name.
Starting point is 00:04:26 Mike Mallott proper. Just a white kid from Canada. Shredded. And this kid, keep your eye on him. He's going to be. He fucking. It was supposed to be a great fight. I don't know who he finished in like a round and a half.
Starting point is 00:04:40 I can't even remember. I'm just saying all the fights are great. I just. I've been trying to talk Colin Quinn into watching this shit because he's still a boxing fan. I mean, get out of the fucking Dark Ages. Speaking of boxing, John Gotti III,
Starting point is 00:04:56 he fought Mayweather Jr., Floyd Mayweather Jr., and it went just how you'd think it'd go when thug Italians and thug blacks get together. You got fucking ugly. All right. That and hockey was tremendous. Vegas is one game away.
Starting point is 00:05:14 Can you imagine if they win the cup tomorrow night in Vegas, what that cup is going to go through? There's going to be hookers and strippers pissing in it. Hockey players drinking from it. It's, you know, fucking, they're going to have Siegfried and Roy. One of them's dead, but they'll have the Tigers taking a shit in it. It's going to be terrific. Let's get to the story.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Big story, and this really is huge. You know, the indictment. Federal charges indict this. Former President Donald Trump said on Saturday he would never leave the 2024 presidential race, even if he is convicted on any of the 38 felony charges issued against him in an indictment this week. So, of course, he's not going to lay down. This is Donald Trump, man. I am your voice.
Starting point is 00:05:59 They're trying to silence it. Trump revealed his indictment on Thursday. The indictment stems from Special Counsel Jack Smith's investigation into Trump's handling of the White House documents. This indictment marks the second one against the former president after district attorney, this fat fuck, Alvin Bragg, yeah, there he is. Y'all fat fuck, look at you. Announced a grand jury returned an indictment on charges it pursued in a case alleging Trump falsified business record.
Starting point is 00:06:30 Have you ever seen anything like this? Sending the whole DOJ against your political opponent. This is fucking unheard of. This guy, I'm not going to say it. These are thugs. This is Trump talking. The thugs, degenerates, who are apt to be. That stunk. These are thugs. This is Trump talking. The thugs, the degenerates who are after me.
Starting point is 00:06:46 That stunk. Trump said, speaking of Smith and other top brass within the U.S. Department of Justice. Yes, sir. Trump told Politico he does not anticipate accepting a plea deal, but left open the possibility of doing so where they pay me some damages. deal, but left open the possibility of doing so where they pay me some damages. I don't think they'll ever have to, Trump said when speaking on the possibility of parting himself if he was the 2024 presidential election. I didn't do anything wrong, which why shouldn't we believe him? Trump mentioned his skyrocketing fundraising numbers since the indictment.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Nobody, he says, nobody wants to be indicted. Trump said, I don't care that my poll numbers went up by a lot. I don't want to be indicted. I never had been indicted. I went through my whole life. Now I get indicted every two months. It's like Milana's period every two months two months honey what is it it's been political of course it has do you believe this yet do you believe it here's the thing you got William by his former Attorney General saying he's toast but he's come out against Trump a couple times, remember? He's also backed them with the Russia gate thing. So I don't know where that creep stands. I'm hoping, you know, it's a sturdy pool. It doesn't fucking, this is unbelievable. Witch Hunt doesn't describe what
Starting point is 00:08:17 this is. This is unprecedented. Nobody's ever sent the DOJ after a president. So you got William Barr saying that. But then it's going to go to some, I guess, how it works. The final judge is going to be a woman that Trump appointed in Miami, I believe. In Miami is where it's going to be done. So the left is going shithouse. You see how they are? It's not bad enough you're hunting this guy down for no reason. They're pissed the judge isn't going to be right out of Berkeley. So she's somebody that Trump appointed. And I read how that works. People are going,
Starting point is 00:08:57 it's picked at random. And they read it like judges only do so many cases a year at least in this district or wherever she is in florida and then they move on one guy retired it was like three moves that it ended up she was the only one like available which you can believe that or not whatever i don't give a shit don't get too excited because we all get excited when uh Roberts, is that his name? Supreme Court? Yeah. Fucking healthcare. Remember he fucked us? So don't get too excited because unfortunately, the rights still play by the rules sometimes. I hope she's as biased as anybody. This is insane, man. It really is. And you think it would be wall to wall, but you know, no, but he's true. And you'd think it would be wall-to-wall, but, you know.
Starting point is 00:09:44 No, but he's true. I can't even take it. Anyways, in the second half of the show, folks, I'm going to be talking about why Philly just became more of a nightmare to live in than it ever has been, and that's saying a lot. And why I think Britney Spears has been dead for quite a while. You won't want to miss that. I usually don't do pop culture, but when a bitch are dead, the bitch are dead. I'd still yank at
Starting point is 00:10:11 her with those big brown deer eyes. Anyhow, yeah. I'm not the only one that thinks that, by the way. There's all kinds of shit. I think we're going to get into that. Aren't we? Yeah, we are. That's why I just plugged it. Anyways, it's exclusively on Mug Club, so join now to get it at nickdapaloshow.com. All righty then. Double standard, double jeopardy is the headline. Excuse me, little phlegm. By the way, I'm 207.9 this morning. A little phlegm. By the way, I'm 207.9 this morning. I haven't seen that in, God, I don't know, Christ, since I won Miss America in the early 60s.
Starting point is 00:10:51 Nothing? A decade. I want to see proof. Yeah. Oh, I got pictures. Swimsuit edition. Yes. Swimsuit, what do you call it? And I juggled on a unicycle for my talent while playing Spanish lady on a leaf.
Starting point is 00:11:07 A decade-old legal case that could exonerate former President Donald Trump has been buried by legacy media. Special Counsel Jack Smith is terrified of the only standing legal case decision from a court concerning the Presidential Records Act, said Chris Farrell. That's Chris right there. That's Chris. I'm sorry. Who was that guy before? Oh, that was Jack Smith. That's what that jerk off looks like.
Starting point is 00:11:40 Good. I'll remember that when I take a ride down there. Nice. This is Chris Farrell, and he's a tailor for David Letterman, Director of Investigations at Judicial Watch. The case Farrell is referring to is titled Judicial Watch vs. National Archives and Records Administration, also known as the Clinton sock drawer case.
Starting point is 00:12:04 Why is that? Former president, I didn't know this. Former president Bill Clinton created White House audio tapes. Did he learn anything from Nixon? Audio tapes with historian Taylor Branch and stored them in his sock drawer. I didn't powder my head. Judicial Watch sued, by the way, Judicial Watch is that Tom Fitton, is that his name?
Starting point is 00:12:30 The guy who, he's always digging into this shit. He's fucking right. I think it's him. Sued to obtain access to the tapes. And guess what? They lost, okay? They lost to this lying piece of cheese. I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
Starting point is 00:12:46 He's actually hitting the table for more emphasis. I hope you're talking about Hillary. That fucking... yeast infection. He took them from the White House. This is what we're talking about, Bill. He took them from the White House with him into his private life, said Farrell.
Starting point is 00:13:07 There's classified material on those tapes, and arguably it's the sort of running stream of consciousness record of Bill Clinton's presidency. Oh, my God. So this isn't scripted. It's him. Pretty important stuff, Farrell says. Special Counsel Jack Smith is currently investigating 45th president for his handling
Starting point is 00:13:28 of classified documents since departing the White House. But Farrell says the ruling in this specific case from 2012, meaning Clinton's case, exonerates Trump from any alleged wrongdoing. Well, I don't know. Who do you, you know?
Starting point is 00:13:43 I don't know who to believe. I say you give it to Judge Judy. Amy Berman Jackson, the judge presiding, and she looks like she doesn't like cock. I'll go out on a limb, a nice hairy one. Amy Berman Jackson, the judge presiding on that case, said a couple of very important things, said Farrell, that the president had an absolute,
Starting point is 00:14:06 so this is, she was on the Clinton case. She said he had an absolute, meaning Clinton at the time, unreviewable right to take any records or documents that he wants when he leaves office. No one, she said, can come back and second guess or double think or ask questions about what the president likes to take with him. Farrell said, by the way, to end that statement. So shut up, mind your fucking business and shut up. Exactly. But since when do the you guys think the Democrats going to play by the rules?
Starting point is 00:14:41 They've been wiping their ass with the Constitution since they got in there. You think they're going to? This is interesting. This is and this threats. They say the threats are up from good. Let's bring it to a head, could we? Please, just don't fuck up my house. In her ruling, Jackson wrote that the president enjoys unconstrained authority to make decisions, again, this is about Bill, regarding the disposal of documents, although the president must notify the archivist, I don't know if Trump did that or not, before disposing of records. Neither the archivist nor
Starting point is 00:15:10 Congress has the authority to veto the president's disposal decision. Well, that's pretty clear. It's just a matter of if the Dems are going to play by the rules or not. I wouldn't hold my breath. Farrell points out that this, can I give you my theory before I forget? And I think I said this on the show before. And again, they released that indictment on Trump the same day, the same day that information came out that leaked stuff about Biden taking the 5 million from Burisma and those dirty people over there.
Starting point is 00:15:43 It came out on the same day. I think, I don't know the timeline. I don't know how fast the courts work. I'm not a lawyer, but I don't think the Dems want Biden. I think they've made it clear they don't want him as the nominee. I think they're going to go after him too,
Starting point is 00:16:00 or they're going to, you know, let whatever the Republicans go after him. And then the Dems can go, see, it wasn't political. We went after Joe, too. You know, we didn't just go after Trump. That's my take. There's a prediction. Again, I don't know what the timeline is.
Starting point is 00:16:15 Farrell points out that this ruling has existed without challenge or question for 10 years. And that has been the standing law unchallenged for the United States for something like 10 or 11 years, said Farrell. No one challenged it. Unreviewable, absolute authorities take whatever the president wants, and no one can second guess it. Nothing's that simple ever, though, is it? I mean, that's pretty clear. Trump claims Smith's investigation into his documents was all about election interference claim. It's a fucking fact. You're out of order.
Starting point is 00:16:50 You're out of order. The whole trial is out of order. You're out of order. Great movie, Justice for All. Don't you care, Arthur? Don't you care? I do. So, again, we're living in unprecedented times.
Starting point is 00:17:09 I can't believe the gall. And again, we're talking about this. As we're talking about this, half of South and Central America pouring in. People unvetted. I am so... A year from now now wait till you read the fucking crime
Starting point is 00:17:28 reports and shit you see what's going over and going on in Europe and shit remember they let everybody the crime goes through the fucking roof don't think it's not going to happen here I don't know what to tell you anyhow if Trump is not on that ballot, January 6th, thought that was, maybe they'll actually have a real, I'm not encouraging that, folks.
Starting point is 00:17:59 That's dirty pool. I'm just saying. Left, you haven't seen the, they've been trolling the right since Biden got in office. They're just poking them in the chest. Come on, motherfuckers. Because they want you to respond violently and shit.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Then they can come down on you. But can you imagine? That's, like Trump said, it's not just about him. It's about us. He's standing in between them and us that's no exaggeration if they can do that to him what they're not going to freeze your bank account when you post something bad about kamala or whatever it's fucking they're using china's
Starting point is 00:18:39 playbook they're not even original make your own fuck socialism fuck communism come up with something they can't they want to use something that's never worked depending on the way
Starting point is 00:18:52 definition of what worked is I don't know anyways ladies and gentlemen for those of you guys on Mug Club stick around for the second half of the show
Starting point is 00:19:00 everyone else go to NickDepaloShow.com join to get my full show and Steven Crowder's show and a whole lot more. And click on my tour button if you want to see where I'll be live. I'm still doing stand-up. And later in the week, I think it's Thursday, I get Noam Dwarman, who is the owner of the Comedy Cellar. His father, Manny, was the guy who founded it. And I love, Norm went to UPenn, but he's, I don't want to say right wing, but he's right, he's the most fair guy. And he happens to be leaning our way right now because the left is fucking nuts. And he's really smart.
Starting point is 00:19:40 I think he went to law school there. And he's personal and funny. And thanks to his establishment, I'm here now making $1,150 a year. Anyways, he'll be on that show on Thursday. guitar solo Outro Music

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.