The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Leading Swing States | Nick Di Paolo Show #1478
Episode Date: November 6, 2023In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about the NFL's over officiating and more! Like what you hear? Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s ...“Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com
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🎵 And I say segregation now, segregation tomorrow, and segregation forever.
Good morning.
Good morning from the South.
How are you, folks?
Great to be with you on a Monday.
Hope you had a great weekend.
I didn't.
No, I'm kidding.
I was outside throwing rocks at the Palestinian kids.
Oh. Oh.
Oh.
Isn't that adorable?
What did I do?
What do you think I did, folks?
What the fuck do you think I did?
That's right.
Actually fucking, yeah, hung out at B&D on West Conrad. It's a great place on a Saturday to watch when Georgia's on.
It's like a goddamn Mardi Gras down there.
Holy moly.
And, yeah, knocked out two girls.
What?
I'm kidding.
Yeah, it was fun.
Anyways, that's about it.
Didn't burn any calories.
It did work out.
Did come over here, sweat a little bit.
Fuck, we got a lot to get to.
The world's coming apart because cocksuckers supposedly believe Joe Biden won the last election.
And if I hear one more, I heard Chris Christie, that fat fuck, he was at some conservative CPAC, whatever the fuck, giving a speech.
And they were booing the shit out of him.
And he goes, you just can't handle the truth.
Just fucking bad-mouthing.
What a fucking fat idiot.
It's a good way to win voters?
Yeah, what a fat fucking, go back to fucking New Jersey and be the shit fucking governor you were.
Okay? Nobody trusts a politician from the Northeast if you're a fucking conservative,
especially you, you fat fuck. Remember he gave Obama a handjob on the beach?
You have to fuckin' whatever the
hurricane was. Hurricane Goo Gobbler. Yeah, that's right, I said it.
Ah, the homosexuals.
Fuckin' thing's low again. Anyway, I'm so sick of this fuckin' equipment. Somebody out
there, are you rich? Are you a fan of mine? Buy me a fuckin' $40,000 TriCaster. Okay,
I'll go with a $20,000 one.
Because this shit here,
all of it says Radio Shack on it.
Not really.
It's actually, it was decent shit.
But apparently the weather affects it.
And the fucking-
And decent 30 years ago.
Yeah.
Shut up, 30 years ago, you fuckhead.
Fucking Joe Hamm radio over here.
Okay, 21.
No, not even that.
Well, the weather affects it.
Well, yeah, it affects my wife, too.
I'd like to fucking kick her in the ass today.
Anyways, let me get this off my fucking chest.
This is the new tone of the show.
I'm going back to the way I used to be.
I don't give a fuck.
The NFL, I can't believe you people are still a fan.
The only reason I watch it is I play that stupid fucking pool that I'm in. What a shit
mediocrity, flag-loving, I've been complaining, and you guys know, anybody's been listening
to the life of this show since I've been complaining about the NFL being over-officiated, a word
you'll never hear the broadcasters say because they can't badmouth the refs. Over-officiated, a word you'll never hear the broadcasters
say because they can't badmouth the refs. Over-officiating, that's worse than somebody
not making a call. That's way worse. It's somebody who wants to control the game. It's
getting like the fucking NBA now, the NFL. Look at behind me. It looks like the United
Nations. Jesus Christ. It's no exaggeration either.
I couldn't.
I watched one game.
They're all blending.
It doesn't matter.
Nine penalties in the first quarter.
That's not the players, folks.
Some of it is, but that's not the players.
And two things are ruining it.
Like an over-officiating.
I think these jerk-offs like to be on TV, honestly.
And too many rules.
Because the NFL is trying to make this flag football.
It really is.
Hands to the face.
Let that shit go.
It's a combat sport.
All right?
Hands to the face.
Fucking, even a blindside block.
I like to go over the people that were injured on a blindside.
If you do it, I'm not talking at the knees.
You just knock the wind out of people.
You knock them silly.
It's what football, you know, all this shit.
And I thought it was just me imagining it.
I've been complaining about this shit.
After watching the college games all Saturday and then putting this shit on,
I actually got up, you know me, I won't get up from the couch for anything.
I don't even remember what game it was, Card.
I don't know who it was.
There was like three flags.
I got up and walked in my office and started working on the show,
which I never do.
It's fucking.
So I'm going, is that just me?
So I Google NFL over-officiating,
and a fucking thing comes up from Mike Pereira,
former NFL League official, head of the referees. And he's sounds like I wrote it. OK, but before we get to that, where's the first? I'll just a couple
things from this weekend. This is out of Breitbart, a guy named Gwynn, who was so out of the money.
The headline is the NFL is slowly making football illegal by issuing ridiculous roughing penalties.
And we all fucking, we've all been saying that.
Mr. Official, let me ask you something.
How can six of you miss a play like that?
All six of you.
The ball jumped out of there as soon as we made contact.
I thought you were talking about you being on the field.
No.
What?
You know, I fucking hate the way you make me
fucking ride you get the fuck out of here so this is the article real quick just a couple pages
what a ridiculous farce to ask professional athletes to tackle a quarterback to the ground
but stick their arms out to prevent them from falling onto the quarterback
this is not football it It's exactly right.
And it's not just the roughing the passer, by the way.
Excuse me.
Exhibit two came from last week
and was shared by a former NFL great
and current CBS analyst, J.J. Watt.
He must have shared it on his social media, right?
And I guarantee they're having a meeting with him.
In it, Ravens fullback, Pat Ricard, by the way, all pro three or four years in a row,
University of Maine, 310 pound running back. You mean? Anyways, watch this. If you guys,
you don't even have to be football fans. Well, I guess you do. I'll point out who he is.
He's the guy lined up closest to us in white on the wing right there.
He's going to go in motion and move into the fullback position
because that's what he is.
Again, over 300 pounds.
And they hand him the ball, and they throw it to him.
So he's going to go in motion.
He's going to line up in front of the tailback there.
And he's going to block.
And go ahead.
So keep an eye on him.
42 and white.
There he is.
Now he's just going to pancake the linebacker right here.
Like, look, he keeps driving them, driving them.
That's what you're asked to do.
And they threw a fucking flag on that.
Are you kidding?
If you're watching that in the film room,
the coach gives you like four stars.
It's what you're...
You gonna hurt a fucking
linebacker? 6'4", 250
of angry black meat?
Let's be
honest, they're the best. Really?
On a perfect fucking...
That's how he became an All-Pro.
That's the worst one I saw.
And there were three
that I'm not going to show you
from this weekend,
roughing the passer,
one in the Patriots game.
I can't even keep them straight.
One guy pulled the goddamn quarterback
onto himself
and they threw a flag.
Anyways,
that's a $21,000 fine by the way
Watt calls this stealing money
And of course it is
But it's worse than that
It's also erasing
The erasing of football
As Vince Lombardi said
Football is blocking and tackling
It used to be
Now it's like fucking girl softball
There have been many jokes over the years about how
the NFL has become like flag or touch football. If the league doesn't take serious and immediate
corrective action, they should seriously consider moving to two-hand touch, at least as it pertains
to the quarterback. And let me tell you something, they are heading that way. You keep seeing
commercials during NFL games for touch football globally, by the way, globally.
And that's where it's headed.
Because if enough kids, go ahead.
Got to start with the kids.
That's right.
It's all generational.
Thank you very much.
That's where it starts, with the kids.
You didn't think soccer was going to be as popular as it is now in this country, right?
So eventually, there'll be no contact football.
The kids will play flag football.
You think I'm fucking, this is how the world works.
And really, the genesis of this is a litigious society, fucking lawyers.
The NFL don't want to be sued.
All this shit.
And I say they should bring out a big waiver.
They should bring it on TV before the opening game that just says, I accept any brain damage.
Check.
What's your name? Because that's
at the root of it. You know that. It's all about money and getting sued. And it's dog shit. And
it's like the fucking NBA now. The refs are controlling the game. And Mike Pereira, I just
want to read, yeah, and I do get excited about this shit, folks. Mike Pereira, the former ref, it's on my phone, actually.
This is what he, the head of refs, I should say.
He might still be.
Anyways, this guy, some sports reporter talked to him.
He said, I had one of the smartest men in football, Fox rule analyst Mike Pereira, on the phone Thursday.
He said something that we all think as we watch football games on the NFL.
The game's over-officiated.
And here's the issue to me.
I study a lot of plays.
This is Pereira talking.
And I ask myself, would I have downgraded that?
The officiating is getting way too technical, and it's affecting the game and how the game looks.
Pereira, a former longtime referee in college and pro games, has become one of the most popular in the NFL ecosystem
because of his ability to break down complicated maze that is officiating and speak truthfully in doing so.
No one is better at it. Pereira said he looks at officiating and sees what a lot of us do.
There are simply too many flags. He said he sees about four calls per game that shouldn't be made.
His belief is that officials are simply doing what they're instructed by the league and
that the NFL and thus officials are ignoring or otherwise forgetting one of the core tenets of
calling a game. He said, one of my biggest concerns is we've lost the basic premise of officiating,
he said. It's always been about advantage, disadvantage. If something didn't cause an
advantage, let it go unless it's a safety issue.
Like, I'm all for that, you know, fucking helmet on helmet over the middle shit, because someone's going to die or break a neck, which has already happened many times.
I get that.
But the rest of this shit, he says real quick, I'll end on this, because, again, some of you guys are probably fucking dance choreographers and bored titlets.
Again, some of you guys are probably fucking dance choreographers and bored titlets.
If a wide out maybe flinches just a shade before the snap, let it go.
If there's a tiny bit of pushing and shoving between receiver and defender downfield and neither play gets an advantage, let it go.
That's the way officiating has always been until the last few years.
He says, I don't want officiating to be the story,
and it's becoming the story.
Amen.
And I've been complaining about it forever because I'm a lazy fuck.
I don't know anybody that's watched more football.
I really don't.
You can ask Dallas.
You'd think it's the first time
I ever saw this shit this weekend.
I watched college till my eyes were falling out.
And then it's very hard to watch the fucking NFL.
Anyways, guys, second half of the show,
I'm going to be talking about Sheila Jackson Lee,
caught on tape.
You know, she's the angry black whatever,
senator who hates white people very clearly.
She was caught on tape, audio, being angry and black,
cursing out her staff like a fucking pirate.
I don't even know that I have a problem with it.
Maybe she's right on that one.
And field hockey trans player,
a trans woman,
which is a biological male playing against girls,
knocked a girl's teeth out with a shot.
And all hell's breaking loose.
I love that because it shows the downfall of feminism.
That's all exclusively on Mug Club,
so join now to get it at nickdip.com.
Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, t-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show
and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and
all of the Nicker shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store.
Again, that's nickdip.com, click on store.
Thank you guys so much.
See you soon.
All right, to real news.
I'd rather talk about that.
Thing is, I can talk about anything I fucking want.
I forget it's my show.
Headline, you made your bed.
Now lie in it, Joe.
Saturday afternoon and evening, thousands of pro-Palestinian supporters had gathered at the White House
after a large march against U.S. support for Israel.
Isn't this getting creepy?
The protesters have packed together, occupying dozens of streets and marching to multiple places around the D.C. area.
Everyone gathered at the White House, where pro-Palestinian jerk-offs are climbing up the fence
and shaking the Northwest entrance, excuse me, fence.
Why don't you just tunnel under the White House like you fucking rats doing Middle East,
while also throwing objects at the Secret Service with reports.
Sounds like a fucking
insurrection to me, folks, only more violent than the one the J6 ones are still in jail
for, with reports of smash windows at a McDonald's next to the White House.
They were giving away the Muhammad Burger.
People going wild.
Just take a look at the jerk-offs doing what they do best, being violent.
Just take a look at the jerk-offs doing what they do best, being violent.
That's the White House.
Nice job.
Suck a dick and die, whore.
Said the man behind the fence yelling.
Fucking cowards.
You're backing people who literally burn babies and rape women and leave them for dead and kill them after they rape them
but yeah they're the cowards
and throw gay people off buildings
and throw gay people off I can't even
the list goes on and on
I mean the shit that is so appalling
stop that Nick
it's a joke
it's a fucking joke
you got a problem with what I did Anthony
how could you miss from me?
Funniest goddamn thing ever.
Hello, Akbar!
I know.
Fucking Mr. Akbar.
Very popular.
Hello!
What kind of fucking religion yells God is great
as you're cutting a baby's head off?
What kind of God are you fucking animals praying to?
Ugh.
And you got idiot over here.
Fuck Joe Biden!
Fuck Joe Biden!
And by the way, okay, by the way,
I didn't point out that those people that are so upset
at the White House climbing the,
they're mad at Joe Biden.
They think he's like throwing his support behind Israel
and supporting genocide
which is not happening are you fucking kidding me behind the scenes he's telling Bibby hey
enough but you're gonna mess up my business with Hyman Roth on the Gaza Strip I'm telling you
and they're mad at him thinking he's not being left-wing enough. How does this end good?
Goodness gracious hell-o-wees, as they say.
And a lady today just saw a headline.
Some, huh?
You talking about the one that backed her car into a fucking Jewish school? Yeah, a young girl.
Young girl backed her car into what she thought was a pro-Jewish-like school.
And it's an anti-Semitic organization, has the word Israel
in it, and she backed her car into it thinking it, and then she admits to it on the phone that
she committed a hate crime. But I guarantee my sister's ass she won't, she'll get a slap on the
fucking hand grenade throwing wrist. Am I right? That titless wonder? Yeah. Eat her.
I don't know where this came from.
Eater.
I know.
And it's one of those things people are going to read,
because it's just three, and they're like, okay.
Glad you reminded me.
I like to walk by fat people when I have it,
and they look and I go.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Hey,
for those of you guys that are on Mug Club right now, stick around
for the second half of this show.
Everyone else, go to nickdip.com
and join to get my full show.
Okay?
And Steven Crowder's full show.
He broke some news
today,
earlier today, that you guys probably already know about.
He said it was trending.
I don't know if I should mention what it is.
I guess they've already seen it, right?
It had something to do with that trend shooting up that school a year or two ago.
Remember they couldn't find the manifesto.
Well, guess who got their hands on it?
I'll give you a hint.
It wasn't MSNBC. guitar solo Outro Music