The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Roughs up Raffensperger | Nick Di Paolo Show #466
Episode Date: January 4, 2021Media leaks Trump's talks with Georgia officials. Vandals tag Pelosi's house. UK snatches tax off tampons....
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🎵 All righty.
Hey, welcome back to the grind, ladies and gentlemen.
Did you have a great Christmas, New Year, Chanukah, and, you know, Kwanzaa,
and what do the Palestinians do?
Ramadan-a-ling, dong-ding-ding, Ramadan-a-ding-dong.
Great to be back.
I really mean that because, fuck, you know,
I'd rather work than lay on the couch and watch endless college football game
after endless college football game.
Of course, I say that sarcastically because I probably put on 11 pounds.
I don't think you're supposed to bake a loaf of French bread
then eat three quarters of the loaf before you hit the sack.
I can't really, you're not going to get ripped that way.
That's a true fucking story.
I cook like a little girl. actually like it i don't know
uh oh can i just read this obituary real quick look at my glasses i'm not 95 snapped
this is kind of funny this is in the savannah paper uh barry james whitby beloved husband
father papa son sibling and friend drew his last breath
december 19th mainly we suspect to prevent himself from having to watch biden harris take office
this is what his family wrote uh he was uh
he was a loving funny and most supportive hardworking husband and father barry enjoyed
being with his family playing basketball watching a game of the sun he enjoyed jokingly complaining
about how dominique still had not mastered the art of closing a cabinet door and spoiling the
grandbabies especially by sending the granddaughter scarlet to the moon that could be violent i don't
know uh where's the part about his wife?
He was the son of James Fulton,
Joan Zmar,
and multiple siblings,
including Autry Barr,
his brother Christopher,
and his wife,
Dee Anna,
Spring Lake,
North Carolina.
Michael Pratt,
his wife,
Tammy,
and their daughter,
not to exclude a sister's law,
brother's laws.
He also,
where the fuck's the funny part?
Oh, here we go. He embedded himself to his family, the Peloquin family, to meet the love of his life, Michelle, in 1994.
However, due to his mullet at the time, she could not commit until 1999 when he cut his hair to a reasonable style.
until 1999, when he cut his hair to a reasonable style.
His cremation will take place at the family's convenience,
and his ashes will be kept so long as they match the decor of the room.
The memorial service will be held December 28th at 4 p.m.
in the Chapel of Gamble Funeral Service.
Hashtag Epstein did not kill himself.
I wanted to go to that. It was too much
football on. I should have went to the service and
met these people.
Of course, it was much funnier when I was sitting
in the shitter reading it Sunday
morning, but
all right with the cops out there.
What's going on, folks? How
are you? I don't know what else to say.
Boy, fucking a week or whatever went by way too fast.
It seems like the less you do, the faster it goes, too.
I mastered the first, like, I don't know, 12 bars of Tush ZZ Top,
and then the week was over.
Starting to crank that motherfucker.
I might bring it in here someday.
Don't hold your breath.
Oh, another note real quickly.
Hey, we made a national website, ladies and gentlemen.
Jason, that's a cue for you to pull it up.
Thank you.
Nine fearless comics who will actually make you laugh in 2021.
I don't know why they they can't
i have a million pictures of myself right the article doesn't mention arty who i love by the
way um but really you couldn't you couldn't find a picture of me by myself jesus fuck can i ever
get a break but this is ben shapiro's website right daily wire uh this is
how they describe me the most unapologetically conservative comic on the list has been blasting
liberals for years now he does so via his popular podcast and hopefully stand up stages nationwide
once the lockdown recedes yeah let's second, what are the odds of that?
Is that ever going to happen?
DiPaolo follows the take-no-prisoners
approach to comedy. He's not trying to
be subversive. It just comes
naturally.
You know why I started to do this political
shit? Because this whore.
You know, to just be grossly
generalistic. Yeah, Pig face. You can put
half of Trump supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables.
Pause. Right. Can't. What am I saying? I'm the racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic,
Racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic,
fat cunt, homophobic, you name it.
Thick-angled dog face.
And unfortunately, there are people like that.
Fuck you, mother!
There you go.
They also don't like to say about me,
he's also a reluctant innovator,
releasing his 2019 comedy special,
A Breath of Fresh Air,
free of charge on YouTube to snare new fans. It seems to have worked. Thank you, Ben Shapiro's website.
Jason, thanks for finding that. Again, can't get a picture of myself. Gotta share the fucking
spotlight. I mean, it's always, I'm always different.
Always.
I don't care what it is.
Had another example that I can't remember right now, but boys, it pissed me off.
The Antichrist.
You got me in a vendetta kind of mood.
Let's get to the big stories.
What I consider the big story, leaked audio of Donald Trump.
He had sued the Secretary of State of Georgia
at the federal and the state level, I believe.
So they were on the phone,
Trump with his lawyers,
and what's his name, fucking Rafsenberger?
You know, he's a traitor too,
with his lawyers.
And somebody recorded it. Who knows knows and of course it gets leaked but of course
the media grabs the story and says Trump was saying we got to find 11,000 more takes him
totally out of context uh everybody on the line knew they were on the line uh you know it was
lawyers it wasn't him calling trying to do anything nefarious.
Fucking Jake Tapper, you motherfucker. I hope you die a slow cancerous death.
God, all weekend, he's like, this is undermining democracy. There's no evidence. Just a fucking ball of sack of shit. So anyways, they're on the phone trump unleashes uh during heated call with
criminal uh rafsonberger he says to rafsonbury you're taking a big risk um let's listen to the
audio tape again this is the secretary of state of georgia who's in charge of you know
the fucking elections and whatnot and he's already a turncoat saying that,
you know,
we shouldn't decertify it.
Everything's fine.
Listen to the phone call.
We have won this election in Georgia based on all of this.
And there's,
there's nothing wrong with,
with saying that bread,
you know,
I mean,
having the,
having a correct,
the people of Georgia are angry and these numbers are going to be repeated on Monday night,
along with others that we're going to have by that time,
which are much more substantial even.
And the people of Georgia are angry.
The people of the country are angry.
And there's nothing wrong with saying that, you know, that you've recalculated.
Well, Mr. President, the challenge that you have is the data you have is wrong.
Let me just say about this audio, it was edited by the Washington Post. Some of this audio
was edited. So you're not getting the whole story. I'm just and again, I'm just playing one of the
many clips that was late that were leaked. So go ahead. Because that's what the rumor is.
And also that Dominion took out machines,
that Dominion is really moving fast
to get rid of their machinery.
Do you know anything about that?
I'll have it, I'll have it, I'll have it.
Because that's a leak.
Ryan, Germany.
No, Dominion has not moved any machinery out of Fulton County.
We're having an election.
But have they moved the inner parts of the machines and replaced them with other parts?
No.
That guy, pause.
Germany, Ryan, Germany, he's a computer guy on Rapsenberger's side, I believe.
Go ahead.
Ryan.
I'm sure.
Lion cocksucker.
You should want to have an accurate election and you're a Republican.
You should.
We believe,
but we do have an accurate election.
No,
I know you don't.
No,
no,
you don't have,
you don't have,
not even close.
You got,
you're off by hundreds of thousands of votes.
He's right. You know what they did and you're not reporting it.
That's it. You know, that's a criminal. That's a criminal offense.
And, you know, you can't let that happen. That's like a veil threat by Trump going.
You're taking a big risk. I'll bring down the weight of the whole administration on your asses.
You know what? I i love it he's right
there's so much evidence folks i i uh i think my former agent stopped talking to me because i
we agreed not to talk about it because we're straining our relationship but i couldn't help
myself i had to send a couple more texts every time news breaks and he doesn't even reply anymore
i hope he still talks he's a good guy but uh he's not a good guy if he believes this shit didn't happen.
Go ahead.
Big risk to you and to Ryan, your lawyer.
That's a big risk.
But they are shredding ballots, in my opinion, based on what I've heard.
And they are removing machinery and they're moving it as fast as they can.
Both of which are criminal fines and you can't let it happen,
and you are letting it happen.
You know what I mean?
I'm notifying you that you're letting it happen.
So, look, all I want to do is this.
I just want to find 11,780 votes,
which is one more than we have,
because we won the state.
See, of course. So tell me, Brad, what are we going to do? We won the election and it's not
fair to take it away from us like this. And it's going to be very costly in many ways. And
I think you have to say that you're going to re-examine it and you can re-examine it,
but re-examine it with people that want to find answers,
not people that don't want to find answers.
Stop with Jack.
I'm hearing Ryan and he's probably,
I'm sure a great lawyer and everything,
but he's making statements about those ballots
that he doesn't know.
But he's making them with such he did make
him with surety but now i think he's less sure because the answer is they all went to biden
and that alone wins us the election by a lot you know mr president you have people that submit
information and we have our people that submit information
and then it comes before the court and the court then has to make a determination
we have to stand by our numbers we believe our numbers are right
really well under law you're not allowed to give faulty election results okay you're not allowed
to do that and that's what you've done. This is a faulty election result.
And honestly, this should go very fast. You should meet tomorrow because you have a big election election coming up.
And because of what you've done to the president, you know, the people of Georgia know that this was a scam.
And because of what you've done to the president, a lot of people are going out to vote.
And a lot of Republicans are going to vote negative because they hate what you did to the president.
OK, they hate him and they're going to vote.
And if you would be respected, if really respected, if this thing could be straightened out before the election, you have a big election coming up on Tuesday.
You could be really respected.
First of all, again, that was just like a four-minute clip from the thing,
but there's an hour clip that you can listen to.
And again, it was edited.
The hour clip was edited too.
So put the tweets up from this guy.
So there's a lawsuit going on.
And this was supposed to be like the conversation was about settling that lawsuit.
President Trump has filed two lawsuits, federal and state,
against Georgia Secretary of State, that's rafsonberger uh the telephone uh conference call at georgia secretary
of state secretly recorded was a confidential settlement discussion of that litigation which
is still pending and uh the next one is just saying the post heavily edited omits the stipulation
that all discussions were for the purpose of settling litigation and confidential and a federal and stale.
Of course they do.
That's fucking Bezos's paper.
There is crooked.
They make the New York Times look like the fucking.
Somebody come up with something.
The New York Post.
But how about that? Right? Take it out of context.
The media all weekend ran with it, saying Trump is, look what he's doing. He's making
phone calls to get this thing. I have never in my mother freaking life, I see blue dots.
Every story I read goes with no evidence whatsoever, unsubstantiated.
You guys have to be fucking kidding me.
Put on top of that Trump's rallies with 30,000 people
when Biden was speaking to 80 to 150 people.
You're going to tell me
you really think this thing wasn't stolen.
You have to be kidding.
And they're doubling down now.
We got a bunch of guys over the weekend,
more and more Republican guys in the House
are joining our guy, Jim Jordan and Matt Gaetz
and those guys and Mo Brooks.
They're signing on to this, that they're not going to,
they're going to object to the certification of this thing on January 6th.
I can't wait for January 6th.
It's like waiting for the national championship game in college football.
There's going to be millions of people showing up that are Trump fans at DC.
Can I just say this? I'm hoping this doesn't happen, but if you read your history,
this is where like famous shots ring out and all kinds of shit breaks.
At least I'm hoping a little bit. I don't want anybody to get hurt.
I don't want anybody to get hurt. I don't need the numbers. I'm doing quite well.
But aren't you kind of itchy? I mean, I hope they charge the steps like they did,
you know, like the fucking left does
when they bust into state capitals
during a meeting and shit, you know?
Ooh, very interesting.
And they say Trump's got something big planned.
You know?
Now with Trump, that could be, who knows,
fireworks, actual fireworks in the sky
or a fucking 400-piece marching band.
It might have nothing to do with it.
I just released my own brand of steaks.
So anyways, but what I'm saying is that movement is gaining a ton of momentum over the weekend, supposedly.
So I'm kind of anxious to see what goes on.
Anyhow.
Yeah. what goes on anyhow uh yeah so uh that was uh that was between the lawyers and trump's like really you're taking a big risk motherfucker now you will learn about loss loss of freedom
loss of humanity now you and i truly be the same counselor
you're taking a big risk.
What's the next goddamn thing on?
All I have is video.
What is it, Jay?
It's the Democrats in 2002.
Oh, yeah. So so all we've been hearing since November 3rd is the Democrats telling the Republicans and Trump to shut up and accept the accept the election results.
And and if you guys try to decertify it, you know, you guys are you're on them.
Oh, and Jake Tapp is where you're undermining the democracy and just to fuck a bunch of nonsense.
They have short memories because they not only do they do that 2016 election, they did it
in 2000 and 2004. Here's a clip from them back in 2000. And notice the race of the first six people
that speak up that want to decertify George W. Bush's win. The chair now hands to the tellers
the certificate of the electors for president and vice president of the state of Florida. Mr. President the objection is in writing
signed by a number of members of the House of Representatives but not by a
member of the Senate. Mr. President I stand for the purpose of objecting to
the counting of the vote from the state of Florida as read mr president i arrive on rise on behalf of the congressional black caucus
to object to the 25 electoral votes from florida mr president thank you for your inquiry
it isn't writing it is signed by myself on behalf of my diverse constituents
diverse constituents meaning not white nice scarf welcome to america you fucking dummy this is
sheila jackson lee isn't it this is one hateful broad and again she looks like every linebacker
the the atlanta falcons have drafted in the last six years of americans who have been disenfranchised
by far inaccurate vote count the is the objection signed by senator well mr chair mr
president i am objecting to uh to the idea that votes in florida were not counted the clerk will
report jesse jackson jr by the way you know he only he's done jail time since then so and uh
look at dick cheney boy he's the only vice president uh you could assassinate with an air horn. Remember the bad ticker every day?
He was in the hunt.
Go ahead.
Objection.
We, a member of the House of Representatives and a United States senator,
object to the counting of the electoral votes of the state of Ohio.
Dr. Phil.
On the ground that they were not under all of the known circumstances regularly given.
Signed, Stephanie Tubbs Jones, State of Ohio,
Barbara Boxer, State of California.
The objection today is raised
because there are irregularities across this country
with regard to voting.
And we as a Congress have an obligation
to step up to the plate
and correct them.
All right, enough.
I think you get the idea, huh?
And they're telling us
to shut up and sit down
and put Biden in office.
You get the idea, huh?
Do they have any fucking...
You're out of order!
You're out of order!
The whole trial is out of order!
They're out of order!
You fucking hypocrite.
Amen, sister.
What was there, one white guy?
Oh, it was Cheney.
A lot of black people didn't believe in the George W. Bush fucking whatnot and things.
Come on.
Do they know that they're being recorded even back then?
Do they have any idea that shit come back to haunt them?
Can you imagine having the balls to tell us to sit the fuck down?
Let me tell you something.
I never tell anybody I sell the Democrat body.
Anyhow, I thought that was very interesting.
I forgot all about this, Jason.
Let's get on.
You have to edit this, please.
Hey, did you see our boy, Dinesh D'Souza?
Remember, I had him on the show.
I am flattered I had this guy on this show.
He was at Turning Point USA, you know, that very,
the conservative.
I think they go to college campuses
and trying to turn around academia
and all that shit, you know.
Anyways, he was like guest speaker
this weekend,
and he gave some,
again, I want to say brilliant shit,
but it's not stuff I haven't said
in the last five years.
In other words, we'll show up,
but he basically sums up fight fire with fire is what I'm saying.
But he's much more eloquent.
You know, he's a handsome man, you know.
But you don't have opening?
No.
But why not?
Dinesh D'Souza is speaking at Turning Point USA convention.
He diagnosed what the left is doing to us, the right, and how to fix it.
I don't know if I showed the how to fix it part, but here he is making a great analogy here.
Go ahead.
Their view on the left appears to be, we'll go knock down their monuments
because namby-pambys that they are, they wouldn't dream of knocking down our monuments.
Meaning us.
And we will use the deep state against them
because they wouldn't dream of using the deep state against us
even if they control the government.
And we'll pack the court
because they're such principled characters
that they appoint judges who don't want to impose their values.
They wouldn't dream of packing the court even if they could pause it's the it's the uh it's the metaphor analogy whatever you want to use that i've been making about a football game where one
team plays by the rules and the other one can run out of bounds they can commit interfere who do
you think's gonna win that's basically what he's saying. The fucking Republicans in the right
just sit there and take it in the ass.
Hillary should be in jail
and everybody the fuck else,
which he talked about.
But no, they get away with it.
Comey, Strzok, where were they?
Right?
We're always chasing them.
Go ahead.
And finally, we'll rig elections
because A, not only would the other side not dream of doing that, but they're not even going to be able to catch us in the act.
And even if they do, there's nothing they can do about it.
So it seems to me that, in a weird way, their aggression, their gangsterization...
Pause. Good acoustics for a beach. Go ahead. their aggression, their gangsterization...
Pause. Good acoustics for a beach.
Go ahead.
...relies on our acquiescence.
You are correct, sir.
Uh, exactly.
Another reason he's saying
we just lay down and take it,
except for Trump.
God bless his soul.
George W. Bush, remember, turned the other cheek?
What did that do for eight years?
It got us fucking Obama,
who, by the way, is the biggest cancer ever.
All the shit the left is doing now,
he's like the Wizard of Oz.
He's behind a lot of it.
He's a fucking cancer.
But you know what else he is?
He's very articulate and a great actor.
That's why he was so goddamn
dangerous for eight years, just
smiling, meanwhile spying
on the incoming press. All that shit.
And all the activism in the
streets and the violence and shit.
Community organizing. I had nothing to do with it.
Get the fuck out of here.
Anyways, D'Souza
later goes on to say the long-term solution is for us,
meaning the people on the right, to opt out of the left's culture.
In other words, start our own schools.
We need more networks.
He actually said that in a speech.
He talked to the president, and the president asked him,
Weldonish, what should I do after I get out of the White House?
And he said, start your own network, which what Webb said, of course he's got it.
That guy, Trump loves the camera more than frigging Bob Denver.
Remember Gilligan?
He was a big camera hawk.
I know.
Anyways, but he said to start our own schools, networks, movies, and he said comedians.
Would have been a great time for me to read that article right here
that I already read at the opening show.
But he's right.
We have to opt out out of there.
He calls it a cold civil war, which is a good way of doing it,
like we did with the Cold War, you know, with the Germans and the Russians.
So he says that we have to opt out of their culture.
Again, that's a long-term solution.
That's going to take...
Folks, don't forget how long these scumbag left
have been controlling the media.
This didn't happen the last 10 years.
This has been going on since the goddamn late 60s.
Even before that, maybe.
So it's going to take... I won't be here to see the results is what I'm telling you.
My blood pressure's way
the fuck up.
Anyways, I thought that was
a great speech by
Dinesh, who was on this
show, by the way. Apparently he's
a fan. All these people
are fans of mine. Donald Trump,
Jr., the president's son, and Dinesh, best-selling author, filmmaker, and I can't get arrested.
Hey, guys. I want to thank all of you who have picked up some show merchandise and who have
shared your pictures here. Here's two I got over the break of people.
Vinny from New York sent this one in.
He's going to need that winter hat up there.
That's a good one.
I don't even have one of those.
What the fuck?
Vinny from New York, he's got a poster of Goodfellas next to Opie in it.
Do you know how many guys have that exact wall in the bedroom?
Fans of mine.
Vinny, thank you, brother man.
Hat looks good on you.
This one came in from what?
Phil the Undertaker.
What?
Phil the Undertaker.
Hey, Phil, how to get the whole hat in the shot.
For Christ's sake.
What did we send him, half a hat?
Phil the Undertaker drove cross country in December
and said he saw hundreds of Trump signs and three Biden ones.
But yes, Biden won the election.
You can buy all the stuff, the Nick DiPaolo Show logo gear
and the NICUH designs on my website, nickdip.com.
Again, thank you guys.
You are the best.
And we need this right now because I'm still transitioning.
Hey, wait a minute.
We were supposed to get results back.
Jason, do you know anything about the YouTube?
We were supposed to get, I had two strikes.
And then we were in there again and they were trying to decide,
they were supposed to get the results of the third appeal, which would have decided whether
I'm off permanently or whatever the fuck.
I think that was supposed to be a couple of days.
I don't know.
It's only my show.
I don't pay attention to it.
There was some great news over the weekend, in my opinion.
Well, Nick, what was that?
Well, vandals, supposedly Antifa, you know, anarchists, you know what they did?
They vandalized Nancy the Leather Nipple Pelosi's house.
Look at her.
Look at my fucking driveway.
Look at this graffiti on the goddamn garage door.
Who are these cocksucks?
They're fans of yours, you wrinkled douche.
Anyways, her house got graffiti in it. Backlash to the House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's
handling of the coronavirus stimulus bill could be hidden close to home, literally. Why? Well,
look at the message that says, here's some photos of the garage. God, that would piss me off.
On Friday, photos surfaced on social media and TMZ showing graffiti on a San Francisco garage door
purportedly at the home of congressional leader
Nancy the Douche Pelosi.
See, they want, the A is usually for anarchists. I don't think it's Alabama. You're a damn credit person. All right, just get out of here.
See, they want, the A is usually for anarchists.
I don't think it's Alabama.
By the way, what a game we got coming up.
Oh, my God.
If you're football fans, college, did you see what Ohio State did to Clemson?
Took them apart at the joints.
I'll get to that in a few seconds.
It really was a glorious weekend for college football.
Anyways, they spray-painted a message, 2K, with a line through it.
In other words, that's how you know it's about the bill.
Cancel rent.
We want everything.
Another line appeared to read UBI, referring to the concept of what?
Universal basic income. I thought it was something to do with a uterine bladder infection, but that made no sense.
A spokesman for the San Francisco Police Department told Fox News that officers responded to the
report of vandalism around 2 a.m.
Unidentified suspects had painted graffiti on the garage and left the pig's head on the
sidewalk.
And we know, I mean, Pelosi, she's a pig.
And I just wish it was her head on the sidewalk, he said.
What?
He didn't.
Yeah, he do.
I forgot my pig squeal.
That's fake blood, by the way.
But that's what Pelosi and Schumer and all the far left jar
they don't understand do you understand they'll it'll never be enough when there's a revolution
that's gonna be her head someday i'm not condoning that type of shit
ah something in my fucking eye uh they said the scene was uh the 2600 block of broadway but did not confirm who owned the home
or if anyone was uh there at the time of course the media the national media ignoring it why
because uh it's their side according to uh k ron k r o n uh the my uh network tv affiliated
station in san francisco The message had been covered up
and fake blood on the ground was removed.
What did they leave the pig's head?
Nancy quickly brought the pig's head in
and roasted it on a spit
and pulled it apart with her teeth
like a Doberman on a puppy.
It's unclear whether the police have any suspects but a couple
of colored kids were seen running into the kitchen no that didn't happen but the graffiti included
two letter a's with circles yeah we know that that's fucking anarchist anyways nick how do you
feel about it that's how i feel man. Fuck Pelosi and fuck Chuck Schumer.
The fucking Jew fuck.
What they ever do for us?
And fuck.
Hey, I got another great show suggestion on Netflix.
Subura.
Subura.
S-U-B-U-R-R-A.
Subura. It is so good and it's based on a true story uh in rome it's got the fucking the mafia tied in with the vatican priest getting caught on tape doing shit and and uh three
young kids one of them's a gay gypsy um they align and they're trying to take over this port, Ostia.
And you got this guy, Samurai,
who's the head like fucking Mafioso, creepy guy.
Every time he shows up on screen,
he's just something dead about him.
He looks like a suburban house dad.
He doesn't even look at time, but you get the creeps.
And it's so fucking good.
There's violence. There's sex. It's delicious. And it's so fucking good. There's violence.
There's sex.
It's delicious.
And it's based on a true story.
I don't know what it is about when they make shit over there,
but it's so much more realistic.
I don't know.
Nick, you're just biased because you're a gindaloon.
Maybe.
Anyways, this thing at Pelosi's house,
they say the incident underscored ongoing tension surrounding the coronavirus relief.
Oh, did you see the other?
By the way, she's she passed.
She she's the House speaker again.
They took a vote.
She won it by the fucking hair on her chin.
Just by a couple of votes.
She's in again.
This 80 year old broad.
What the fuck?
I thought there was a battle going on
between the young radicals in the Democrat Party and her. This broad's had more power,
and she's mentally ill. She's just so spoiled like a three-year-old.
They passed a thing. I don't have a story on it. You guys look this up.
In the house,
they now cannot use the terms
like mother, father, sister, brother.
There's some gender shit thrown in there.
You have to say parents and siblings.
That's the new woke language.
I don't even get it.
Can you imagine that's what she's concentrating on and the Democrats?
Well, this shit's going on.
Think about that.
How can you vote for these fuckstains?
And again, I'm yelling at my fans who vote just like me.
So that's stupid.
But Congress continued into the new year without compromise after months of stalled negotiations on that big stimulus bill.
While Trump and Democrats have insisted on $2,000 stimulus checks,
Senator Joe, Ms. McConnell, who paralyzed, rejected, he says it's socialism for the rich.
Well, then you should be for it.
We got to get him the fuck out of there, too.
We have to get him, Pat Toomey, fucking Mitt Romney.
I have never been let down by a politician.
I actually thought he was different.
Well, dip me in liquid shit.
Fuck me in the ass and call it a love story.
I stole that off Walter Cronkite.
He said that after Kennedy was shot.
Anyways,
let's get on to some pandemic,
fake pandemic news.
California,
a city in California to remove public seating,
outside public seating as
coronavirus cases spike.
So you can't sit down.
You believe this shit?
Where the fuck am I?
A city near LA is closing outdoor seating spaces
on public property starting Sunday evening
amid a spike in COVID-19 cases across the country.
Oh, really?
It's a stoop.
It's a stoop.
It's a stoop.
City Manhattan Beach, which is beautiful.
I used to go down there and watch the girls play volleyball
and then touch myself in a porno toilet.
The city of Manhattan Beach is located along Southern California coast,
about 20 miles southwest of downtown Los Angeles.
Starting at 10 p.m. last night,
tables and chairs and outdoor seating spaces will be removed
until further notice.
That's right, make room for the homeless homeless every time they do shit like this.
We'll cut back to this town in about, I'd say, two weeks.
And you'll see people dropping wet dumps and shooting up where those umbrellas were.
The announcement comes after the city on Saturday announced COVID-19 cases currently at 821 at the beach.
They've nearly doubled since November 1 1st oh that's scary i kill
you i kill you right now kill me i'm right here kill me kill me i can't i'm a bad flu and let me
can i give you my personal opinion on this shit it would only take me to read about one world
renowned epidemiologist to say this is bullshit that would be enough for me to believe
it's bullshit because they have to put their reputations on the line you know as actual
doctors and shit but i've read about five or six that's saying what a hoax one guy keeps saying
it's the flu which is what again we were saying but people are yes the same ones that died when we had the flu oh my fucking head i see you people
with your masks on on december 31st the daily number of new cases was 21 on new year's day
that number had climbed to 26 meanwhile icu capacity in southern california is zero percent
i don't believe that either. Show me the pictures.
I don't see that many clips on the news, do you?
Of people being overwhelmed.
I just don't see it.
Manhattan Beach Mayor Suzanne Hadley seen here.
Oh, she has surprise.
She's got those frames on the glasses that say, I'm a politically correct dumb woman.
Clean that one up.
Look at her.
Those are those glasses that say,
I'm offended by anything and anybody
that doesn't fucking agree with me in my new wokeness.
Anyways, she urged residents to stay home if possible
and mainly go out for work and essentials or to exercise outdoors.
Thank you.
This recent spike in the virus is significant, despite the good news last month of our Manhattan Beach firefighters receiving some of the first COVID-19 vaccinations, Hadley said.
beach firefighters receiving some of the first COVID-19 vaccinations, Hadley said.
Although public seating areas will be closed temporarily, please continue supporting our local businesses that offer pickup, curbside, takeout, and delivery services.
Oh, she's making me sick.
Will you shut up?
Will you?
Will you please shut up?
What a country, huh?
We replaced Uncle Sam with fucking Auntie fucking Esther. I don't know. I have an Auntie Esther. She's nothing like that. That was stupid. With just a nanny state. Just fucking, you know what, ladies, don't take this wrong. And again, I love my lady fans, the conservative ones. We shouldn't let you have the vote.
Again, I love my lady fans, the conservative ones.
We shouldn't have let you have the vote.
I swear on my mother's tits.
Trump, who do you have problems with?
All the suburban housewives and the suburbs of big cities.
Anyways, but there's a ton of them.
I shouldn't say that because you got a ton of Sarah Palin fans.
Anyways, I want to thank people for one-time contributions.
Man Tools Podcast in Colorado.
Eric Warner, Illinois.
Matthew Lennon, Colorado.
Sean Murray, New Hampshire.
Mark Mayard.
I think you mean Maynard, Louisiana.
Raymond Pecoraro, New York.
John Massey, Florida.
Phillip Zeber, Georgia. And new monthly people that signed up at patreon adam morgan b hayes
elliot pierce jen burns storm weston ditman gordon height or hate um thank you guys so much
again nickdip.com don't forget thecomicsgym.com.
That's where you go, right?
You can get it for free there or be a subscriber, I believe.
That's what they're telling me.
How does the witch's box in this motherfucker?
So anyway, let's stay on the COVID thing because these people are wearing their masks to say what?
Look at me.
I'm doing the right thing.
We really have a character problem in this country as far as people go.
Oh, disgusting.
We have a mental illness when it comes to race in this country.
It's literally we're mentally ill when it comes to race.
Half the politicians are living in 1856 or 1680.
Other people, you know, it's, as far as this thing, I don't know who came up with this.
Well, I sort of do, the Chinese, to kind of divide us and stuff, right?
That's what you do.
You divide and conquer.
Could they have come up with a better thing?
I keep saying this with the mass
we're down to hating people who don't wear math or where i mean could you divide us up into any
it's beautifully executed i don't know who thought of it anyways uh you're gonna take a look at this
chick uh she's a virtue signaler she loses her shit in an elevator because she felt someone in the elevator,
delivery lady, wasn't wearing their mask properly.
This is one of those I had to watch a couple times and go, is this staged?
Is there really people this immature?
This isn't like an 11-year-old girl.
Mentally, I'd say this woman is seven.
But watch the reaction because she thinks the lady in the elevator doesn't have her mask on. You are a delivery person incorrectly wearing
the mask inside of a big building. Is this incorrectly worn?
It wasn't like that the whole fucking time!
Oh, poor you.
Watch out, because I'm... Oh, God, that makes me fucking die.
You fucking whore.
Yeah, that's it.
Go home.
Get my dinner ready.
It wasn't like that, though that why does that turn me on girl getting that upset and crying and is something wrong with me
she had like a raspy voice can we hear that again
this made me laugh so goddamn hard. Is this incorrectly worn, guys?
Is this incorrectly worn?
It wasn't like that
the whole fucking time.
Hey, your floor.
I wonder if that was her floor
or she just realized she's being
I need to get the fuck out of here.
Who's filming that, Jace?
That is orderly.
Huh? Boy, Nick, you're quite a detective.
There's a lady with a phone pointing at her.
She turns to the camera.
Yeah, she did.
No, you're right.
I thought it was like a third person.
That's how cynical I am.
I go, really?
Somebody can act like that as a young adult?
You wonder why we're fucked, folks?
You're like, no, we aren't wondering.
We know exactly what the problem is. wonder why we're fucked, folks. You're like, no, we aren't wondering.
We know exactly what the problem is.
It wasn't like that the whole time.
And then she cried.
You know how many girls left my apartment when I got out of college that was acting like that?
I'm not paying for the cab.
Shit like that drives them nuts. Or I'd actually call my cab as I was coming. Woolburn on Main Street. Yellow cab. Larry King. I don't know
about you guys, but he's one of my favorite old Jews. Look at Larry. Look at Larry. Don't
tell me that's not how he's going to look in his casket.
That's exactly how he's going to look in his casket.
I respect this guy.
He's hanging in there.
He's had wives half his age and divorces and just a tough old Jew.
I fucking love him.
Larry King moved out of the ICU.
I didn't even know he had moved into it.
While hospitalized with COVID-19.
Broadcast legend, Larry King.
Hello.
You ever seen Norm MacDonald do them?
Oh, my God.
He used to do them on SNL.
He'd be looking this way and he'd go.
For all it's worth, my favorite color is yellow broadcast king uh broadcast legend larry king uh yeah he's been moved out of the ic unit at
california hospital where he is undergoing treatment for um what else ladies and gentlemen COVID-19. He's 87 years old.
He passed away when he was 78.
Nobody told him.
King has been hospitalized at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A.
for more than 10 days and was moved from the ICU unit on Sunday,
a source close to the family told NBC News.
Probably an old 28-year-old girl, the former CNN talk show host
believes he contracted the potentially
deadly bug from a healthcare worker
who went to his home to wipe his
eyes.
According to the news outlet,
that's where he says he thinks he got it.
I feel bad for the guy.
Oh, Larry!
Oh, Larry!
Additionally, one of King's sons was infected with the virus.
Why don't you blame your son for it?
News of King's bout with the coronavirus came to light over the weekend.
Hospital safety protocols have prevented King's family members from visiting him at the hospital.
You think that bothers him after fucking 90 something years of your family
member?
King has faced a host of medical issues in the past,
including a heart attack,
a stroke,
prostate cancer and lung cancer and diabetes.
Holy shit.
Do you understand?
That's like the,
the super trifecta or whatever you call it for uh covid covid saw larry's
medical report got a hard on this guy is ripe let's get him in the elevator
last year the veteran broadcast journalist lost two of his five children
just weeks apart jesus christ i don't even remember that his son andy 65 um His son, Andy, 65, died of a heart attack.
I've never had pains like this before.
Oh, this is the worst one I ever had, son.
Oh, it's the worst one.
This is a big one.
And his daughter, Chaya, 51, died from lung cancer.
Wow.
Larry,
hang in there.
You know,
he,
if you watch Dodgers baseball,
sometimes he's always in the first row.
And who's the,
who's the woman.
She was famous on that show entertainment tonight.
She's known for her nice legs.
Oh,
Nick,
your memory.
Why even bring it up?
Anyway, she sits next to him all the time.
But it's so funny.
I noticed over the years, like, he'd stand up when everybody else did.
If somebody hit a home run, he'd say, and then as the years went on,
everybody would be standing.
He'd just be sitting.
Got a pen in his hand.
Oh, God, I'm a cuck.
And then he wasn't there for, like, the World Series this year.
I was like, uh-oh. I don't know.
It's a tough old bird.
Let's do some overseas news.
You know this is an international show.
I have fans in the UK.
Well, the United Kingdom, that's England,
folks, they abolished
a tax on women's sanitary
products.
Britain on Friday became the latest country to abolish the so-called tampon tax. It's actually the value. Are you putting in the words
that I give you, Jason? Did I put in value added tax anywhere? No, that's my fault. Eliminating
sales tax on women's sanitary products. It's actually a value added tax.
What that means is a tax is added at each stage of production.
Like whoever made the cotton sells it to this company.
They get taxed.
They sell it at each stage.
There's a tax involved.
I don't understand how taxes work.
I still don't.
But it's called the VAT, a value. They were considering it over here. I don't understand how taxes work. I still don't. But it's called the VAT, a value.
They were considering it over here.
I don't think we have that.
That's how much I know.
I don't know.
I paid taxes like 12 years ago.
But anyway, so yeah.
So they're not charging the value added tax
and angling on tampons.
My vagina's angry.
It is.
It's pissed off.
Well, we got good news for you.
Maybe we can make it happy.
Treasury Chief Rishi Sunak had committed to ending the widely unpopular tax on tampons
and sanitary pads in his budget in March,
but the change could only take effect Friday after Britain had finally left the economic orbit of the European Union.
Good for them.
Finally, Jesus, it took forever, did it not?
Bye-bye.
Under EU law, that would be European Union law,
bye bye under eu law that would be european union law nations cannot reduce the rate of a value added tax on menstrual products below five percent as they are deemed get this even me and you know me
i'm no feminist they're deemed to be luxury items and not essential
that's what i've been saying for years There should be no sales tax on toilet paper.
Kind of essential. Yeah, it's a luxury after you take a big runny dump of you. You must be a spoiled
brat to want to wipe that with some Charmin double quilted little teddy bear giggling as you're
cleaning your ass. That's considered luxury for girls to have tampa.
Boy, she's loaded.
Look at the diamond ring on her finger
and look at the string hanging out of her snatch.
Nick, Nick, Nick.
Anyways,
they, yeah, they deem the luxury item
and not essential.
Ireland is the only EU country
that does not charge a levy on sanitary products.
Good for you, Ireland.
They like a good clean position.
Its zero tax rate was in place before the EU set its floor.
Sanitary products are essential.
So it's right that we do not charge a VAT, said Sunak.
We have already rolled out free sanitary products in schools,
colleges, and hospitals. So everybody's getting the shit.
Hot dogs, get your hot dogs here.
I don't know why I put that in there. And this commitment takes us another step closer,
he says, to making them available and affordable for all women. Let's be honest, folks. I mean,
really? Aren't they really?
I mean, I agree with getting rid of the taxes.
Don't make it sound like, you know,
women are fucking stuffing.
Wham, shaw, shaw.
What do you call those fucking, wham?
Shamwow.
Shamwow.
Wham, shaw.
Yeah, that was a band in the 80s.
Wake me up before you go, go.
I'm nothing but a fucking homo.
Kill a goat.
Britain officially let the bloc's vast single market for people,
goods and services, at 11 p.m. London time on Thursday,
giving it greater scope to set its own laws.
Britain's treasury has previously estimated the move will save,
get this, ladies in England,
it's going to save you on average 40 pounds.
That's $55 over a lifetime, which would be a great number if you died in two days.
Over a lifetime.
But you got to wear them and come on, of course they're essential.
And I'll tell you another thing.
Frankly, you're beginning to smell.
It's been a long road to this point, but at last, the sexist tax that saw sanitary products classed as non-essential luxury items can be consigned to the history books, said Felicia
Willow, seen here with her politically correct fucking Meryl Streep face.
Chief of the Fawcett Society, a woman's rights charity. Many other countries have also eliminated
the tampon tax, including Australia, Canada, India. That surprises me. In the United States,
several states, including New York and Florida, have also
nixed the tax. And I got to agree with it, folks. But I say you can't put sales tax on toilet paper.
I hate even buying toilet paper. I go, I'm handing you money. You know what I'm going to do with this?
I'm going to go home and wipe my ass with a product I did. It bothers me. I have a thousand cash here with you.
That's enough.
That's enough for today,
ladies and gentlemen.
Good to be back.
It does.
It feels good to be back.
And don't forget,
go to thecomicsgym.com,
our new home.
And I think we're waiting
on an appeal,
an answer from YouTube
as far as me still being
on there or whatnot.
I don't give a shit either way.
I don't want to be on that crummy fucking service
that keep people down.
And keep your fingers crossed.
And no, I'm not voting down here in Georgia
until this shit gets straightened out.
I feel like I was taken.
I waited in line for 40 minutes.
And it didn't get fucking counted, in my opinion.
And you think it is this time?
They've already far more shit going on for this runoff election.
I just can't wait for it to be over,
because I can't look at Frank Perdue's face.
Not the chicken guy, David Perdue.
Fucking Loeffler or Warnock or Ossoff.
I can't see that.
You can't look at a YouTube video.
You're going to sit through these.
I've never been so sick of it.
Anyways, that is it.
You think, and I will say it, you're very welcome.
We'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time.
Good to be back.
We'll talk to you soon.
Bye-bye. guitar solo guitar solo I'm I'm
I'm
I'm