The Nick DiPaolo Show - Trump Witch Hunt Continues | Nick Di Paolo Show #1429

Episode Date: July 18, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about the left stacking on Trump and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s ...“Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Music Now you will learn about laws, laws of freedom, laws of humanity. Now you and I will truly be the same, Chancellor. Oh, how are you, folks? Welcome to the Filthy Show on a Filthy Tuesday from the filthy city of Houston, Texas. You know, that's right. It's a little muggy out there. Saw an old lady with a bandana on,
Starting point is 00:01:03 patting her bush. Yeah, with some brawny paper towels. Wow, really, Nick? Is that where you start the show? Yes, that's what I'm saying. I love that type of... Say that shit. So how you is? Red Sox on a roll.
Starting point is 00:01:22 The 110 of 11 or whatever the fuck. Because they play in the toughest division in baseball. They're 48 games out. No. Man, they can hit. Now they're actually catching the ball, so watch out. Last night, real quick on the Red Sox, it was one of those games
Starting point is 00:01:37 where you start a reliever for a couple innings, and then you bring in another reliever for like five. That's our guy, Pavetta, right? Pavetta struck out 13, I think it was, in four or five innings. It struck out nine in a row, and the Red Sox struck out as relievers 18 overall, which is a record for the history of the Red Sox,
Starting point is 00:02:04 which have been around since 19 fucking A.D. So, what a weird team. What a fucking weird team. And that Japanese guy, not Shotani,
Starting point is 00:02:20 Shohani, I don't know what the fuck his name is. I'm like Archie Bunker, I can't even... Anyways, the other one that we got. That nip. Help me out, will you? You're a baseball fan. Anyways, that guy had a couple more hits. He's hitting like 318, 320.
Starting point is 00:02:38 He's got 60-something RBIs. I mean, again, like you said, if they were in the central, they'd be smoking it. And we're going to get healthy. We still don't have a story back. All right, it's enough of that. I know you guys are jacking your meat right now.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Go, no, I don't want to talk about something. Okay, let's talk about the Cleveland Guardians. Fucking stupid, isn't it? I know. Cleveland, can I just say something? You really disappointed me, and I love Cleveland. That's one of those working class cities. You guys and I go all the time.
Starting point is 00:03:07 But it really disappointed me how you treated that change of names. Instead of just ignoring it, and you the fans can control it, show up every night, and I know there's a few with your old Indian gear on, and just say Indians. Keep saying it. Keep saying it right into the broadcasters when you text in. Keep saying it and trip them up. And just pretend it never happened.
Starting point is 00:03:29 Print your own shit out. Yeah, say I'm going to fucking write. I know. We're in D.C. and I'm looking at the gift shop. Ooh. Might as well say visiting angels on the hat. Fucking bad. I mean, fucking assholes.
Starting point is 00:03:47 Can I say? All of a sudden, that's like the new N-word. Cocaine. That's good shit you got there. Excuse me. Real quick, let's get to the news. Fuck it. Try to delay. Oh, I ate those ribs last night, too, bud. Those Chinese ribs, they melt it in your mouth like somebody with stage four prostate cancer. Just the meat falling off the, oh my God. I'll give you that one. The beauty of it, I put them in before I went to work yesterday. And I come home and they finish like fucking 10 minutes after I get home.
Starting point is 00:04:27 I put the little red dye in there too so it looks like you're right at the Qing Chao Fling wall up the street. And my wife, cause this is poodle. I go, stop it. I was not in the recipe this time. And then you hit it with those. And I know you like the sesame seed. She starts looking for charo around the house. Yes, she did. I came home and she had charro simmering on the back. Boy, would she be delicious. She's got Japanese in her. Shih Tzu. Isn't that a Japanese? Excuse me.
Starting point is 00:04:56 Pardon me. Excuse me. Pardon me. Real quickly. Yeah, they were so fucking good, Dallas. You and Gian during football season. I'm going to make. Real quickly. This is really the top story. You know, we just found it right before we went on the special counsel. Jack
Starting point is 00:05:12 Smith has informed former President Donald Trump by letter that he is a target in his investigation into efforts to overturn the 2020 election. What a cropck of fucking crock of poo-poo. Sources familiar with the matter tell ABC News, and I'm sure they're all jerking off in the copy room. Trump also confirmed the development in a post on his Truth Social platform.
Starting point is 00:05:34 The letter, which sources, the letter indicates that yet another indictment of the former president could be imminent, though it is not immediately clear
Starting point is 00:05:44 what kind of charges he could ultimately face. They said either hanging or shooting. Target letters are typically given to subjects in a criminal investigation to put them on notice that they are facing the prospect of indictment. More and more paperwork. Just tell them. Call them. Smith took control of the sprawling Justice Department. Oh, is that what we're calling out? Sprawling? A crooked, rotten to the core Justice Department investigation
Starting point is 00:06:10 into the failed efforts by Trump and his allies. Listen to this. To thwart the election laws. Trump and his allies. Who wrote this? AOC. His election laws upon appointment as special counsel in November last year. And in recent months, dozens of witnesses have appeared to testify before a federal grand jury in D.C.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Oh, he'll get a fair trial in D.C., right? According to sources, prosecutors have, or is this going to be done in Georgia? No, D.C. Oh, that's coming up. I'm confusing my 19 indictments against the former president. According to sources, prosecutors have questioned witnesses specifically about the efforts to put forward false slates of so-called false electors. Electors, I don't really, I know they mentioned this and I never really understood how it worked, that were to have cast electoral college votes during the certification for Trump in key swing states that he lost to President Biden. What do you got, electoral impersonators? What do you?
Starting point is 00:07:24 Investigators have also sought information on Trump's actions and his state of mind. Oh, you're questioning his state of mind. How fucking, they are really trolling, man. In the days leading up to and on January 6th,
Starting point is 00:07:40 I'd say his state of mind was perfect because he said peacefully, you guys are so full of shit. This is third world monkey bullshit. And I'm worried for you guys and your fucking, I'm not, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I said it on stage.
Starting point is 00:07:55 I'm not going to say it here because it'll probably get whatever. I'm just saying. You think January 6th, whatever when thousands of Trump supporters attacked the U.S. Capitol did they really? what's your definition of attack? I saw Capitol Police escorting the guy in with a Viking hat and showing him around
Starting point is 00:08:14 like he was on a fucking tour matter of fact, I think he dropped a bag of coke temporarily disrupting the certification and causing lawmakers and former Vice President Pence to flee like the bitch that he is. Fucking jerk-off. Go ahead, run for president, you stiff. Guys, this is,
Starting point is 00:08:32 I just said to Dallas, this is a tipping point. I mean, it's a tipping point. This is third world banana fucking republic bullshit. It's what they do. They have their political opponents arrested. Ask Zelensky. Sure, he's tried it and that's who biden backs this is insane this is a breaking point to me fuck the tea party and shit like
Starting point is 00:08:54 that remember we went that fucking revolution over taxing tea this this is like taxing good coffee it's horrible no i, this is insane. I don't know. I'm actually, I can't wait to see the response if he's in jail when you guys have this election. And they're talking about all this shit going down like in August. I don't know. Only problem is people younger than me don't have the gonads. They're too busy listening to their gender professors teach
Starting point is 00:09:28 and tell them how bad they are and they're white and all that other whore shit. And like I said on stage in Sioux City, Iowa, where were we? Oh yeah, D.C. But I said, can you imagine the founding fathers looking down and going, what the fuck are you people doing?
Starting point is 00:09:47 Put down a universal remote. Put back in Dark King Station and pick up guns. I can't believe what we're witnessing, Dallas. You put your goddamn neck on the line for us. You and a bunch of thousands of other guys and women. And this is what we're headed to. Andy was reading me something that was written in 1733. It was written by the Illuminati or about the Illuminati.
Starting point is 00:10:14 It was sending chills. It could have been written yesterday. In 1733, Dale, I'll send it to you. And some senator, I don't know if you remember back. You're probably too young. it was in the 70s or maybe way later than that a scandal at a bank the whole pedophile ring and shit
Starting point is 00:10:31 and this senator was on it on top of it and he got all the names of people that were involved and he's flying back oh his plane fucking blew up this fucking Illuminati shit dude it's as real as let me tell you about fucking QAnon. They're the only good true source of news out there. That's why, you know, the left, that's how you know, because the left shits on it every day. Anyways, folks, the second half of the
Starting point is 00:11:02 show I'm going to be talking about, Hall of Fame catcher Johnny Bench. Remember him? You guys probably know him from the blue emu. He made a shocking statement about Jews that I belly laughed at, but everybody's in shock. So anyways, if you want to hear about those stories, it's exclusively on Mug Club. So join now to get it at nickdipaloshow.com.
Starting point is 00:11:33 Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nicker shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. You really should. Those are some good stories. they let's move on we'll stay political a little bit before i take a big runny dump and we have some fun georgia on his mind is this more trump stuff more people coming up to trump huh unbelievable the georgia supreme court has rejected a petition filed by,
Starting point is 00:12:26 God, hold on. My eyes are so blurry right now, it's like a movie. If you were doing a blind guy from his point of view. His point of view. You fucking nailed it, Dallas. From his point of view. I'm going to come in and go, wha!
Starting point is 00:12:47 Court has rejected a petition filed by a former Donald Trump's attorney to quash Fulton County's special grand jury investigation into his alleged 2022, it says, 202 election. That's a long time ago. Interference, it says, which is so much cockapoo poo. That's right. I need some help. They're coming from all angles.
Starting point is 00:13:16 The court issued the ruling late Monday afternoon. Last week, Trump's attorneys also asked the Georgia Supreme Court in the Fulton County Superior Court if they could all go fuck themselves. No. He asked it, and the County Superior Court blocked further investigation from Fulton County District Attorney Fannie Williams. There she's seen there another happy black woman in power who will be crying what a racist
Starting point is 00:13:44 country it is even though she's got more power than she deserves and probably reads at a fourth grade level. I'm just kidding. I know she's, but she hates Trump. Any black woman who's educated was taught to hate the fucking white man. And just my opinion, folks, if you don't like it, suck it. Earlier this year, according to Fulton County Superior Court filings, Trump's attorneys also made the same requests. On Tuesday, a grand jury was seated in Atlanta that will likely consider whether criminal charges are appropriate for the nation's 45th president or his Republican allies. Same words, reading off the same script,
Starting point is 00:14:27 for alleged efforts to overturn Trump's 2020 narrow election loss in Georgia. Fuck Joe Biden! He didn't lose shit. Fuck Joe Biden! Didn't lose shit. I'll say it until I'm bluer than my balls. Last year, Willis, this dope here, opened a criminal investigation
Starting point is 00:14:47 into attempts to influence the administration of the 2020 Georgia general election. Months later, a special grand jury with subpoena power was seated in May 2022. In court filing, she alleged a multi-state coordinated plan by the Trump, boy, you having feverish wet dreams you're making up shit? By the Trump campaign to influence the results of November 2020.
Starting point is 00:15:12 I thought the big issue was when he called and said, find me more votes. And which is fucking perfectly fine to say. I've heard of 19 attorneys on TV breaking that sentence up. In Georgia and elsewhere. Yeah, that's right. Bernie Sanders, that's right. They were calling Vermont and New Mexico to find more. Anyways, election in Georgia and elsewhere, a contest that eventually saw Biden become the first Democrat to win Georgia since Bill Clinton. What does that tell you? In 92. Didn't that tell you something?
Starting point is 00:15:47 It fucking never happened. And you still, you still, even after all the shit about, you know, suppressing Hunter's laptop story and 19 other things, you're still sticking with this? You're horrible people. with this? You're horrible people. In April 24 letter, Willis warned Fulton County Sheriff Patrick Labatt, is that a T and L, of charging decisions coming this summer in connection with her investigation. She also notified Fulton County deputies she will announce charges from her investigation, sometimes between, oh, get this, July 11th, which is a couple days ago, last week, and September 1st. Wow. Right when the debates, the first debates are in August, isn't that fucking clever?
Starting point is 00:16:41 You guys, the whole country should be in an uproar, but no. You filthy leftists who don't watch this show so i'm talking to myself uh willis also has that notified uh fulton county superior court judge oh look at that's fucking earl glanville sure he's uh unbiased um uri Uriel Glanville, her office plans to work remotely during the first three weeks of August and asking, uh, no trials be scheduled during that time. What is she going to do it from her vacation home? And you fucking fat slob. This is, uh, it really is a fucking outrage. People, you should be pissed.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Let's move on. Uh-oh, you know that noise. In our libs eat libs segment tonight, anti-Israel commentary from Rep. Pramila Jayapal. Just the fact that I can't say a name makes me want her out of the country. Democrat Washington, the chair of the Congressional Progressive Caucus, was, ugh, look, can't you tell? She's got the face of a Native American in 1491.
Starting point is 00:18:01 What? Was flatly rejected by House Democrat leadership in a statement issued on Sunday. Listen to her anti-Semitic horseshit. Go ahead, play that bugger. I want you to know that we have been fighting to make it clear that Israel is a racist state, that the Palestinian people deserve
Starting point is 00:18:20 self-determination and autonomy, that the dream... All right all right fuck her enough already i think you're racist and i don't like your suit from fucking t.j max you pig in a long statement issued after many objected to her initial rant uh jayapal explained that god damn it that she does not believe the idea of Israel as a nation is racist,
Starting point is 00:18:48 but instead objects to the Prime Minister Netanyahu, Benjamin Netanyahu, extreme right-wing government. She has a problem with this extreme right-wing government. Nevertheless,
Starting point is 00:18:59 a scathing draft statement from some of the most outspoken allies of Israel in the Democratic was leaked to the press and promoted by its authors on Sunday. We are deeply concerned about Representative Pramila Japal. They're just covering their ass here. Unacceptable comments about our historic Democratic ally Israel. And we appreciate her retraction, they declared before avowing never to allow anti-Zionist voice that... You said that after AOC
Starting point is 00:19:28 or after fucking Ilhan Omar made her fifth anti-Semitic remark. Voice that emboldened anti-Semitism to hijack the Democrat Party. You're lying. Fucking phonies. And you're a piece of shit. Before the statement was officially released, however, Democratic leaders
Starting point is 00:19:43 in the House preempted it with one of their own. Oh, Israel is not a racist state, began Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. Talk about a Jew hater. Hates Jews. Oh, my God. He's literally friends with, you know who, Farrakhan, who Catherine Clark, Caucus Chair Pete Aguilar, and Vice Chair Ted Lieu. Jeffries himself was criticized by pro-Israel activists early this year after statements he made in college in defense of a rural antisemitic uncle.
Starting point is 00:20:21 Varyingly antisemitic uncle and That sentence is wrong And Louis Farrakhan resurfaced It's his uncle? They're blood relatives? Well here's all you're going to need about So this is his uncle Louis Here's a quote from Farrakhan from a year ago The satanic Jews
Starting point is 00:20:41 They control everything and mostly everybody! Okay, so a broken clocks right, why is it that? But Can you fucking imagine? Just like that dope that Obama, that church he went to with fucking, remember? Reverend I hate Whitey. he went to with fucking, remember? Reverend I Hate Whitey. Goddamn America.
Starting point is 00:21:08 They just fucking, they hate this country. They hate Jews. And that's all there is to that. For those of you guys on Mug Club, stay around for the second half of the show. And everyone else, go to nickdopaloshow.com and join to get my full show. Why wouldn't you? What are you, girly? And Steven Crowder's full show and a whole lot more.
Starting point is 00:21:28 And go to my website. Click on my tour button to see when I'm going to be in your town chasing your mother-in-law. What? guitar solo Outro Music

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.