The Nick DiPaolo Show - Virginia is for Lovers... of Guns | Nick Di Paolo Show #287
Episode Date: January 21, 2020Chucky Schumer regretting his past. 1000's show up to VA gun rally. Stuttering Joe assoiates Trump with hate. MONDAY - THURSDAY 9PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir...
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Music Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah! Oh yeah, welcome to the show on a Monday.
How are you folks?
Happy MLK Junior Day.
I'm a little confused.
I don't know if it's his birthday or I'm not sure.
But I know he's a good guy.
MLK Junior Day is why people call it one of the good ones.
I asked Raz, I go, is this his birthday? I forget. He goes, I don't know. I should know that. I go, why? He goes, because I took African-American studies. I see you retained about as much as I did in college.
but as much as I did in college.
Anyways, the guy was definitely, you know,
anytime Rock has a good bit about,
anytime, that's why I worry about Trump.
You try to make big changes,
he end up getting, you know what I mean?
Anyhow, folks, real quickly,
let me get the dates out of the way. This weekend, Thursday, Yonkers Comedy Club in Yonkers, New York.
The next night, Friday, Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, Connecticut.
And then Saturday, the 25th, the next night after that, the Larkham Theater in Beverly.
February 1st, the Historic Ritz Theater, Brunswick, Georgia.
February 15th, the Kelsey Theater, Lake Park, Florida.
February 20th through 22th, Comics at Mohegan Sun in Montville, Connecticut.
February 28th, Decatur Civic Center, Decatur, Illinois.
February 29th, Zany's Comedy Club, Rosemont, Illinois.
March 13th and 14th, Mugubi's Joke House, Timonium, Maryland.
April 3rd, Morgan Hill Event Center, Herman, Maine.
April 4th, Jonathan's at Gunkwit, Maine.
June 12th, the Ritz Theater,
Scranton, Pennsylvania. Just
added September 24th
through the 26th,
the Comedy Works at the Plaza
Hotel in Vegas. That's Tommy's
room. Beautiful room.
October 10th, Stand Up Live,
Huntsville, Alabama. October
11th, Zany's in Nashville,
Tennessee.
So go to nickdip.com for all your ticket information.
Hey, did you guys pay for the McGregor-Cowboy-Ceroni fight like I did?
Cowboy Don Ceroni is my favorite UFC guy.
And they built this thing up like Ali Frazier in the 70s.
All this hype for all these months.
And here's what happens.
It lasts 41 seconds.
They come out, they get in a clinch like five seconds into the fight.
And McGregor pulls a move that nobody's ever seen.
At least I haven't seen it.
Jumps up and hits Cerrone in the nose with his shoulder three times.
Breaks his nose like 10 seconds into the fight.
Now Cerrone's disoriented,
and McGregor hits him with a roundhouse kick to the jaw,
knocks him silly, jumps on top of him,
and, you know, pounds his face in.
Fight over.
Oh, my God.
Imagine if they didn't have those undercards.
It'd be a goddamn riot.
Everybody was there, though.
They showed Dennis Miller was there for the prelims.
But all these famous, Tom Brady was in there,
and Oakland Raiders guy, Davis' son that owns the Raiders was there,
and all these celebrities, McConaughey, Usher.
Might not have been Usher.
I confuse my hip-hop stars.
They all look and sound alike to me.
That's a joke, folks.
Nobody does it like Snoop.
People actually, my fans,
somebody writes,
I made the mistake of reading comments,
hey, you know, we have a reputation
for being racist and you're not helping.
The fuck does that even mean?
First of all, who's we? And second of
all, if this is too rough for you, go find somebody else. Elaine Boosler would be your
favorite comedian. Quit fucking watching me. God, see how deep this shit runs? Even your fans are
like, oh, you're making me nervous. Fuck. Anyways, that fight was over. And let me tell you something,
Fuck.
Anyways, that fight was over.
And let me tell you something.
ESPN app, ESPN Plus, whatever the fuck it is, you guys got to get your shit together.
Okay?
I went to Rich's house.
By the way, Rich, our producer, got a great job, a day job.
We weren't paying.
He was like an intern here.
That's why I treated him like he was a 12-year-old Vietnamese girl making sneakers.
And he got a good job.
He's a smart guy. So that's why he's not here
anymore we didn't even mention it because you know we don't but i went over rich's uh house
he's a tech guy by the way okay i bring my ipad over i got it on my ipad i paid for it i mean
all he wanted to do is stream it to rich's got like 260 inch screen TVs. And I knew damn well I should have laid in my bed
and watched it at fucking home on my iPad.
I go over there.
He made chili though.
It was fucking tremendous.
Anyways, I go over there.
Sure enough, he's on, can't, you know,
and he knows his shit.
I can tell the way he knows his shit.
He really does know his shit,
but we couldn't stream it. At one point it's coming out of his shit. I can tell the way he knows his shit. He really does know his shit. But we couldn't stream it.
At one point, it's coming out of his clock.
He's got an Apple clock in his bedroom, and the audio is coming out of his clock.
We got a 60-inch screen TV in front of us.
It's got like the Food Network on it.
Fight's about to start.
I'm yelling at him.
He's on the phone.
And I busted his balls. I go, you're not He's on the phone. And I busted his balls.
I go, you're not even a good tech guy.
You're full of shit.
He goes, I'm telling you.
So sure enough, the next day, I always make him feel bad.
He sends me like three screenshots of people complaining about the same thing.
They had paid for it and they couldn't, you know.
We got the prelims that were on ESPN.
And for some reason, we got the prelims that were on ESPN and for some reason couldn't,
we streamed that part of it, then couldn't stream, I don't know. It's not ready for prime time.
Any of this shit, okay, your apps and your internet, all this shit is not ready for prime time yet. And he sent me a bunch of screenshots of people complaining about the same thing,
just to clear his name. And I go, yeah, a hundred people ordered the fight you sent me two people complaining other than you so it's like worrying
about transgender men in their periods it really doesn't affect much of the fucking world but god
damn it that fight was over quick anyhow and i want to welcome we have a new person on the
depalo staff you know uh ali larman who worked for Anthony Comey at Compound Media.
She's great.
I've known her for a while.
So she's a part of our team now.
I'm guessing she left Anthony.
I didn't just blow anything.
Am I talking out of school here?
Got a call from Anthony tonight.
The fuck you doing?
Anyways, let's get to it.
Let's what do we want to do first?
Well, you got the big gun rally in Virginia.
I'll get to that in a second.
But Chuck Schumer, who was the biggest fucking blowhard
other than Adam Schiff and the, just,
anyways, a letter surfaced of him
right before the Bill Clinton impeachment
back in the 80s and him slamming, you know,
he sounds just like, he's such a hypocrite.
He's saying just what the Republicans are saying now, how it's a fucking witch hunt
and, you know, and how we're using impeachment, which is a tool you're not supposed to use
all the time.
But let me just read a couple of things.
Charles Schumer's 1999 letter about impeachment comes back to bite him in his ass.
Look, look at Barney Frank over there. He's daydreaming about the Cub
Scout he banged last night. Now there's a black woman in the background. I don't trust this Jew,
Schumer. Look at Chucky. Look at that face. He's related to Amy Schumer, by the way.
One day before Clinton was acquitted in his impeachment trial before the Senate, Charles Schumer penned a passionate letter outlining why the process had taken an unfair toll on the nation. Sound familiar?
He noted that the president believed he had not crossed the line and he should be able to get his balls licked under the desk at any time and praised that. By the way, I agree with that, that, you know, come on, I don't think
they should, and praised the large threshold needed to get a conviction in the Senate.
He also chaired the American people for opposing impeachment. Though the individual details are
different, many of the same points crafted by Schumer more than 20 years ago echo Republican
arguments against impeaching Trump. Here's some of the highlights from it.
This is one of the quotes from the letter.
It has shaken me that we stand at the brink of removing a president,
not because of popular groundswell to remove him,
and not because of the magnitude of the wrongs he's committed.
This could be coming out of McConnell's mouth.
But because conditions in the late 20th century America
has made it possible for a small group of people
who hate Bill Clinton,
just replace Clinton with Trump's name,
and hate his policies to very cleverly
and very doggedly exploit the institutions of freedom
that we hold dear and almost succeed in undoing him.
Oh, maybe. You fucking hypocrite.
What is so profoundly disturbing
is not that this small group of Clinton haters hatched his plan.
It's that this group or any group equally dogmatic and cunning
came so close to succeeding.
Listen to this.
This could be right from today's headlines.
If you had asked me one year ago
if people like
this with such obvious political motives could use our courts play the media and tantalize the
legislative branch to achieve their ends of bringing down the president i would have said
not a chance that doesn't happen in america oh my god fucking hypocr. But it almost happened in the few. He says in the future, it could be a left wing zealous organization or another right wing group.
He was right on the money with that, wasn't he? Or some other group with strong, narrow beliefs.
Oh, you motherfucker. You smoke cocksucker. Fuck you.
OK. Do you believe it? Huh? Unbelievable.
He says, we've got to understand how we've reached the point where any small group could have so much power.
Ask Adam Schiff today.
Are you asking these questions?
Chucky?
Ken Starr of the Independent Council was chosen despite a known and documented bias against the president.
He behaved like a special prosecutor.
Hello, Adam Schiff.
Hello.
Not even the not not the even handed down the middle counsel law that counsel law requires.
Yeah, exactly.
OK, all this is still relevant.
He says, put yourself.
he says, put yourself,
he says, put yourself,
put any of us in Bill Clinton's position where they find a way to use the most public venue
to humiliate you,
where they put you in front of civil court of law,
what seems to you to be a bogus,
politically motivated case
that should have never seen the light of day.
You fucking hypocrite.
Okay, it's exactly what they're doing to Trump.
They can't beat him on policy. They can't beat him. They know they're going to get smoked. You
have people on CNN saying it. Again, I think Bloomberg's going to step in and say, listen,
hold on a second here. Bloomberg's apologizing for everything he's ever done as mayor now,
just to fit in with these idiots. Look, here's another quote. Maybe we're seeking an impossible
duality. We demand, as we should, that our elected leaders be held to the highest standard.
And then we shine the brightest light imaginable to expose those who don't measure up. That's all
you've been doing to Trump since he got into office, with the Russia hoax, the Kavanaugh
fucking thing. I mean,
and they, Rez, they're already saying that if this doesn't work as impeachment
and, you know, they, and Trump Wednesday, 2020, they're going to come after him again.
You guys have fucking, they don't even try to hide it.
It seems we have lost the ability to forcefully advocate for opposition without trying to criminalize or at least dishonor our adversaries.
Exactly what they're doing.
You know who's on his team, though?
Do you know who Trump signed up like over the weekend for his defense?
How about Alan Dershowitz and Ken Starr, who was involved?
He was a special prosecutor on the Clinton thing.
You got Dershowitz.
Dershowitz is saying none of this shit is impeachable.
That's what he's saying.
He goes, abuse of power or misleading Congress.
That's not an impeachable offense.
I always go with Dershowitz.
Guy's always right.
Except when he defended OJ.
But I was in first class on a plane.
He was sitting in front of me during the OJ thing.
I wanted to smack him in the high side of the head.
What time did we start, Rez? oh beautiful we'll be done 11 20 okay
uh it seems we have lost yeah but anyways uh it is hurting the country it is marginalizing
and polarizing the congress uh unbelievable What began 25 years ago with Watergate
as a solemn and necessary process
to force a president
to adhere to the rule of law
has grown beyond our control
so that now we are routinely
using criminal accusations
and scandal
to win the political battles
and ideological differences
we cannot settle
at the ballot box.
He said this in 1999.
It's more fucking relevant today.
It's exactly what they're doing to Trump.
Have you any shame, Mr. Schumer?
Have you no shame, I say that?
My goodness.
You smug cocksucker.
Fuck you.
You talking to me, bitch?
I'll choke you right out.
Who you call?
Oh, speaking of partisan left-wing hacks, let's get to fucking Joe Biden, who I say should be in a nursing home in a straight jacket,
shit in his pants. There he is, um, sucking a 14-year-old boy's hand.
He said he smelled peanut butter on it. What the fuck?
Yummy. Yeah, yeah, it. What the fuck? Yummy.
Yeah.
What are we doing?
What's going on right now?
I don't know.
You're on a date with a fucking.
Anybody have a lot?
That's somebody, you know, I think that was somebody working for him, a speechwriter.
And he started stuttering.
So there's a guy, this woman stuck her finger in his mouth said chew on this you dope uh joe biden what a fucking hack not only is he stuttering and he doesn't have
the mental capacity he's a hack politically listen here's a new thought he's linking president
donald trump over the weekend uh in a speech, a sermon to a black church.
He's a Lincoln Trump to the KKK.
That's something new.
Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up?
He says we can defeat this moment of hate.
What does that mean?
Trump. So that's how you condensing Trump's three years of a moment of, hey, this president and his, he says this president and his, the Ku Klux Klan and the rest of them, they think they've beaten us again.
But they have no idea.
We're just coming back.
Translator, please.
Anybody speak fucking senile?
What is he saying?
God love you all, Biden told the Bethlehem Baptist Church
in Columbia, South Carolina. They like him down there because you know why?
Because he was asshole buddies with Obama, the first black president. That's why they go,
this guy's got black people's back. Even though he's lied about all this shit.
In a halting speech,
Biden also repeated the false
claim that President Trump had referred
to white supremacists and neo-Nazis
in Charlottesville as very fine people
in August of 2017,
which has been disproven
a fucking thousand and one times.
You listening?
Your mother sucks fucking big
fucking elephant dicks. You got that?
Oh, my. You can't talk like that on MLK Jr.'s birthday.
They asked the president what he thought, and he said they are very fine people on both sides.
That's just not the fucking truth.
Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore.
You know it.
Put up what Trump fucking said, please.
I'm going to read it to you, OK?
Excuse me.
They didn't put themselves down as neo-Nazis.
And you had some very bad people in that group.
This is Trump talking about Charlottesville.
But you also had people that were very fine people on both sides.
You had people in that group.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Of course, reporters are getting all excited.
I saw the same pictures you did.
You had people in that group that were there to protest taking down, to them, a very important statue and the renaming of a park from Robert E. Lee to another name.
That's who he was referring to.
He wasn't talking about that.
Then he says at the end, I'm not talking about the neo-Nazis and the white nationalists because they should be condemned totally.
But you had many people in that group other than neo-Nazis and white nationalists, okay, which was true.
It was just normal civilians there protesting.
And the press has treated them absolutely unfairly.
Now, in another group, you also had some fine people, but you also had troublemakers, and you'd see them come with black outfits and with their helmets and with baseball bats.
You had a lot of bad people in the other group, too.
Okay?
He said that right after.
And I sort of blame the Trump administration because they didn't push back against that.
I was watching it when he said that on TV.
And then the next day, they're coming out.
He said there's fine people in the Klan, and nobody really pushed back.
This is before he knew what he was doing, I guess should have been on twitter clarifying it but they didn't
and that mushroomed but it's there's the proof don't want to and biden's using this this jerk off
uh joey joey joey what are we doing what's going on right now you're lying as usual
anyways that should put it to freakingging rest. That's what he's
doing over the weekend. And then he says Biden was introduced, by the way, by Terry Sewell,
a strong safety out of the North Texas, no, Democrat Alabama, who endorsed Biden and said
that there was no bigger threat to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s legacy than the person who's in the White House.
Now, Terry, get a fucking grip, man.
The former vice president said that he had been involved in the civil rights movement for real as a teenager.
This is Biden and said, I got my education for real in the black church.
And that's not hyperbole. That's a fact.
in the black church.
And that's not hyperbole.
That's a fact, Biden said.
I'm black, y'all, and I'm black, y'all.
And I'm blacker than black, and I'm black, y'all.
I'm black.
What are we doing?
What's going on right now?
It's called the electric slide, motherfucker.
You know all these stories he's been telling about being a leader of black they've gone back and fact check a lot of them he has people don't even know what he's talking about
and he's still in the lead god i hope bernie wins i hope bernie wins it'll be capitalism
versus socialism slash communism it'll be like m McGregor fucking Cowboy Cerrone.
It'll be over in 41 seconds.
You may see Trump and fucking Bernie
on the same debate stage.
They'll get in a clinch, fucking.
Bernie will try to jump up and bust Trump's nose.
Trump will body slam him.
Okay, so what's going on in Virginia today is the big,
I don't even know.
We should have a monitor in here,
but I don't have that kind of money yet, folks.
My weed selling is not working.
Hanging out at all these schoolyards down here,
and they ain't buying it.
They're into Molly and shit.
And I ain't talking ring wall, yo.
Virginia braces for gun rights rally as worries over violence, hate groups and militias grow, which is absolutely.
Threats of violence, including claims of militias storming Virginia's capital and protesters weaponizing drones,
have put federal and state authorities on high alert ahead of Monday's
gun rally. You know what they're worried about here? You know who it's going to be,
if anybody's sure. These are people in Virginia. Virginia's all blue now. They have the Senate.
They have the House. As far as the state legislature goes, it's a blue state. And the
first thing, Northam. Do you remember Northam? Do you remember Governor Northam?
I think you might remember from this picture right here.
There he is.
That's him on the left.
I'd like to know who the guy on the right is.
These are like Halloween costumes and shit.
But this is Governor Northam who's saying,
I don't want any white supremacist garbage showing up at my protest at the, you know, look.
Okay. And if that's not enough, he likes to abort nine month old babies. I wish he was doing that in that outfit.
Now that would be some crazy shit, wouldn't it? Anyways. So people in Virginia, right? People who
love their guns in Virginia, and you've got a ton of
them hunting and whatnot, right, just law-abiding gun owners, and they're trying to pass those
stupid red flag laws where they can confiscate your guns if they think you're a danger to yourself
and anybody else, who decides that, right, they're passing all this stuff, thousands of people across
the country expected to show up as part of the demonstration demanding state Democrats drop a push for comprehensive gun control.
The fear of violence has spread quickly and has led to heightened security, road closures,
and a ban of firearms.
Look at this.
This is where you're supposed to do protests, right?
They won't even let them near the Capitol.
You know what they're doing here?
They're overplaying.
They're hoping bad people show up to this.
That's how they're building it up.
And the guy who's heading the rally, he's been saying, look, this is peaceful.
You know, they've been battling for the last three weeks now in the media.
And, you know, Northam wants something bad to happen.
Then he can go, there you go.
And if anybody does show up, thugs and shit to cause
violence, check out George Soros first. That's what I'd do. Listen to this. The FAA has banned
drones within two mile radius of the Capitol and nearby students at VCU and the medical college
have been told to stay indoors. Oh, for the love of Pete. Who the fuck is Pete when people say that?
I always go with Maravich.
Virginia Citizens Defense League President Phil Van Cleve,
he's the one who's putting this protest on.
Toll Fox News, it's not the pro-gun groups that are stoking fear.
It's the Democrats.
He's goddamn right, isn't he?
You are correct, sir.
Cleve, listen to this.
Cleve said membership in his organization has tripled in the past six weeks.
10,000 people have signed up for free email alerts.
He attributes the spike in popularity to Governor Northam and Democrats in the state legislature.
Van Cleve believes they have declared war on gun owners and is counting on gun right advocates to show up Monday to have their collective voices heard. Jalynn Sensi, a mother of three from Chesterfield
County, told Fox News she's planning on coming to the rally and bringing her three children with her.
Good move, stupid. What if shit does go down? You know, what if shit does make sure the kids are
there? Maybe they can get caught in a crossfire.
Who brings their kids to fucking rallies?
In November, Democrats flipped the state.
Yeah, we know that.
Bah, bah, bah.
The suspicion was fueled further on Friday
when Trump warned in a tweet
that Virginia Democrats were threatening
America's right to bear arms.
Look at this.
Your Second Amendment is under very serious attack
in the great Commonwealth of Virginia.
That's what happens when you vote Democrat.
They'll take away your guns.
Republicans will win Virginia in 2020.
Thank you, Dems.
Goes right to the heart of the freaking matter.
But you know what?
He's right.
It's a slippery slope.
And they're already starting with this stuff.
Four bills passed in the General Assembly, whatever the fuck that is.
The bills would require background checks on all firearm purchases.
I don't see a big problem with that one.
Do you?
I'm not a guy, and I know people at home right now are screaming at the screen.
You know, allow law enforcement to temporarily, here's the big one,
remove guns from people deemed to be a risk to themselves or others.
That's the red flag law.
That's total bullshit.
Limit handgun purchase to one a month.
How are you going to do that
when you have the hip hop community
and the white supremacists?
They can't have one gun a fucking month.
What if there's a sale? What if it's two for one at Tubby's or Walmart? and the white supremacists, they can't have one gun a fucking month.
What if there's a sale?
What if it's two for one at Tubby's or Walmart?
I still find it odd you can't buy.
I was at Walmart, like, you know, picking up popcorn,
and I see a guy fucking cocking a shotgun.
Lemon handgun purchased to one a month. Oh, my God.
And let localities decide whether to ban weapons from certain events.
No, no.
We have something called the First Amendment.
Second Amendment.
I'm sorry.
Slow down.
In a symbolic sign of defiance.
Listen to this, folks.
This is fucking where this is where it's getting scary in this country.
And I believe civil war is just a shot away.
It's just a shot away. It's just a shot away.
War children!
Listen to this.
More than 100 municipalities, that would be like, you know, small cities, towns,
in Virginia have designated themselves, get this,
as a safe haven or sanctuary for the Second Amendment.
Sort of like sanctuary cities.
Oh, is this thing going to touch off?
I love it.
I hope there's like a city in Virginia that's a sanctuary city
and the county right next to it is a gun sanctuary.
Oh, man.
Just a shot away.
Well, just a shot away.
Children.
Children.
So anyways, Northam declared a state of emergency ahead of the Richmond rally. Did I already say that? He says any group that comes to Richmond to spread white
supremacist garbage or any other form of hate. See, that's that's the only kind of hate there
is. There's no hate from the left. Violence or civil unrest isn't welcome here.
Oh, that was Todd Gilbert. He's a Republican in Virginia of the House of Delegates.
That's considered a Republican. Come on.
Problem? You're the fucking problem. You fucking Dr. White, onking jam rag, onking spunk bubble.
I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground. I promise you! Not this time. Not this time, blackface, wearer.
Baby killer.
Heh, a lot of shit going on.
As we talk right now, Raz, because we're recording, we don't know.
Right now.
All kinds of shit probably going down. We don't know, bud.
Just no violence, please.
But, uh, it's a slippery slippery slope and eventually they will come just like the gay movement you know first it was just let us get married now it's like if you don't
call me him v she and now people are yelling nick that's not gay those are transgender okay they're
all in one basket you know hillary threw me in a basket of deplorables? I'm putting all those in a basket of fucking irredeemables.
Deviants.
Okay, I exaggerate.
Anyways, can't we just get along as...
Tony Soprano said on The Sopranos.
He goes, can't we get along as the Reverend...
He goes, as the Reverend Rodney King said.
Can't we... The Reverend Rodney King.
Raz, you didn't even pick up on that.
Boy, that African-American studies class.
What are you guys doing there?
Fucking roll joints?
What the fuck's going on?
What's the matter with you?
What's the matter with you?
All the athletes took it.
So they were all cheating.
So like a couple years after I graduated, it was closed.
So it was like a lot of drama over the program.
Is that right?
Wait, you went to North Carolina, right?
Yeah.
So the basketball players were in there?
In football, yeah.
In football, yeah.
Yeah, even up at Maine, there was a little of that.
My roommate's best friend was a captain, and I remember people taking tests for him.
Nobody asked me to take tests for him.
They didn't want a D- in calculus.
I fucking struggled.
Anyways,
speaking of blackfellas that we like very much,
Tariq Hill is one of my favorite football
players of all time. This guy can
scoot. He's like a water bug.
Did you watch the games, by the way?
I really thought the Titans this
year, with that running game,
they had a decent defense. I really thought
and Casey just lit them up.
And then you got the Packers, who were sort of
phonies all year. So now you got
Garoppolo versus
Mahomes. You got the best
offense against one of the, maybe the best defensive football.
You know, the 49ers are a better team,
but I just think Mahomes might be the factor there.
He's a magician.
You know, if the Chiefs can show up and play defense, I think they might.
I don't know.
I feel an upset.
I'm assuming the 90s are a little bit of a favorite.
I could be wrong. Anyways, Tariq know, I feel an upset. I'm assuming the 90s are a little bit of a favorite. I could be wrong.
Anyways, Tariq Hill, what did he do?
When they were doing the intros for the AFC championship game,
he decided to get on all fours, pretend to pee like a dog on his way out of the tunnel.
It was rather a curious way to start the AFC title game for a few different reasons.
Not really.
It's, you know, MLK Junior Days.
There's something wrong with the black man's mind.
There's something wrong with his mind.
Do we have Tariq?
Obviously, Odell made this famous, but...
What's weird is, like, that bothered me. It used to bother me when i was younger that type
of shit's like just play football stop with the fuck now as i get older and i'm almost dead i
fucking love it i love it he's going he's mocking his territory the guy gives a whole history in
this article but but he says,
it's also a bit curious choice from Tariq Hill,
considering the dog pee celebration is in the dog house after this year's Egg Bowl.
You guys remember what happened?
Ole Miss Rebels earned a late on sportsmanlike conduct penalty after receiver Elijah Moore.
Now, you got to admit, folks, when we're talking,
white fellas don't do this shit.
They do a little bit of dancing and shit,
but they can't fucking really dance in the end zone.
But the brothers have taken it to new heights.
You know what? That's not even fair because now they do it in groups.
They'll do the group celebration.
They'll stand like bowling pins and one guy will fuck.
I kind of like it because I know it bothers Goodell maybe.
I don't know.
Anyways, this guy for Ole Miss, Elijah Moore,
pretended to pee like a dog after a touchdown against the Bulldogs.
The 15-yard penalty was enforced on the extra point,
which the Ole Miss kicker missed, and it cost him the game.
Now, how do you feel in the shower a ball game because you had to
oh and it shows how much these young football players watch sports center and shit you know
they see and they watch the nfl you'll see somebody in the nfl do something on sunday
and the following saturday you'll see uh they love it they want to be on the top 10 highlights
all the receipt i'm actually short of breath.
Enough cigarettes.
They're always trying to make the one-handed catch to get in the top.
But Tariq, he does it during the introductions.
Dude, crazy.
The guy crazy.
I am like God and God like me.
He is as large as I or something like that.
I always fuck it up.
Rez, what are they?
You taught.
Now, you learned that African-American study.
I shouldn't have told you that.
Oh, I'm going to torture the shit out of you.
I am like God and God like me.
I am as large as God.
He is as small as I.
He cannot above me nor I.
Then he's here.
Bang!
Selassius, 17th century.
Counselor? No. I don't know how to shut it off. Counselor? Entry. Kautler?
No.
I don't know how to shut it off.
Kautler?
Oh, what a show.
Anyways, Chiefs 49ers, I would say 49ers are the best,
but I think not by much.
And Andy Reid is a...
I'm going to go again
assuming... I'm going to say the Chiefs
in a little bit of an upset.
Nick, why do you say that?
Well, I have some credibility. I was in a
football pool with 105
other people this year.
Okay? That's where you pick the games, where the
points spread involved. All 16 games
every Sunday, I came out on top.
Got 1,200
smackaroos. Should have been
2,200.
That's a lot of fucking people.
Of course, the two people that fall right behind me were chicks
using their method
of, I like his ass. Who's he play for?
Nick,
that's some sexy shit.
Yeah, I know.
Speaking of guns, did you know there was a shooting last night?
Kansas City celebrating one of the greatest days.
They haven't been in the Super Bowl in 50 years.
This happened last night.
Two dead, 15 hurt after gunmen opened fires.
And I can hear the fucking anti-gun people.
That's why you're not the man.
Shut the fuck up.
The guy's a lunatic.
And guess who took him down?
A good guy with a gun.
Again, we hide those stories that happen almost every day.
15 hurt after gunmen, two dead.
One of them's the gunman.
This is a new politically correct thing I hate.
They always include, now, when it's a terrorist, they'll go six dead.
Don't include the piece of shit who did it.
Tell us later on,
but don't put it in the headline
like he's worth mentioning.
Out of Kansas,
people were lined up at a bar.
Police believe one of the dead
was the shooter whose motive remained
unclear Monday morning. He killed a woman, wounded 15 other people, three of whom were in critical condition before he was shot by an armed security guard.
Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.
You're fucking crazy.
Yes, he is.
It happened at 1130 outside.
Oh, boy.
Nine. How do you say?
It's got the number nine, I-N-E.
How do you say it?
Nine Ultra Lounge.
I'm sorry.
That sounds like a dangerous joint.
Don't it? Anytime you see the word
lounge,
it's never an upscale
joint. You don't want to be any place near a place called
lounge you have to fucking midnight anywhere where was i was a faces lounge man stab the
motherfucker where were you i was bitches a lounge the yeah uh anyways so uh by the way, I'm old enough to remember the last time the Chiefs won the Super Bowl.
They beat the Vikings 50 years ago. And I love the Vikings at that point.
Let's get on to some news that you people can really relate to and guys out there, because, you know, this is a male-driven show for the most part. So let's get on to some stuff. Model Kenny Jones is here to smash stigma around transgender men who menstruate.
I was so waiting for this film to come out, because I can't stop. I'm bleeding like a stuck
pig. Jones is featured in a movie called Pandora's Box. Ooh, Pandora's Box.
Get it?
Box, snatch.
Very dirty, very gross.
Makes me hard.
Lifting the lid on menstruation.
That's the name of the film, Raz.
Pandora's Box, lifting the lid on menstruation.
I say we leave the lid closed and don't talk about it
and let the people be shamed about it.
I don't talk about it and let the people be shamed about it i know likey although sometimes i don't know you ever you trying to have sex your dick's like
three quarters hard you're glad there's a little extra lubrication down whether it be blood or
pens oil yogurt who's with me raise your filthy hands uh. This movie screened at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival this week.
Oh, boy.
So anyways, this guy's name is Model Kenny Jones.
This, I have to clarify this shit.
I get so confused with these transgender stories.
So this was a woman at one point, right, who's transitioned to a guy.
When you watch this,
made the right choice,
but I'm just saying,
is this really a big problem?
We're going to have to,
we made a movie about it,
even if it's at a film festival.
Really?
Here's Kenny Jones,
a good friend of mine.
My name's Kenny Jones,
24 years old,
from London,
born and raised.
That was a woman.
I'm a trans-modern activist.
Pause.
Is there a lot of money
in being an activist?
The fuck?
How do you make your money, Kenny?
Selling those gay t-shirts?
Everybody's a goddamn activist.
There's no money.
You have to spend money
to advocate something.
How the fuck do they survive?
Well, we make films.
Well, how the fuck?
What did you do
while you were making the film and bleeding all over the place. Who supported you? I'm going to make one pushing
back against menstruation. It's going to call. I could have had a V8. What? Go ahead. Let Kenny
talk. The first person, first trans man that I know of in the UK, especially to talk about
menstruation as a whole and my personal experience. There's not much conversation around trans and menstruation.
Pause.
You know why there's not much conversation?
It's because there's six of you on the planet.
Nobody gives a fuck.
Everybody who has their little groups, you know,
they're like, there's not much conversation.
People don't really care.
Because you're a tiny segment of the population.
Jesus Christ.
Yes, but, you know, in the news,
the slogan is, if it bleeds, it leads.
Yeah, well, that's not the case here.
Go ahead.
This was a girl...
I think that's because...
At one point...
I'm quite afraid of talking about it
because, you know, that was my worry
because it kind of takes...
You don't want to take away your transness.
And my definition as a man... Stop getting cock as a man is saying that you still experience something
that is known in today's society as feminine.
So you don't want to kind of put yourself in that category.
Some people, you spend your whole entire life trying to be masculine.
And you know, force the kind of persona so that everyone else will hold you to it.
And then you're going to turn around and be like, well, by the way, I have periods,
although that's always seen as a, you know, a women's thing.
Yes, because it is.
I had my first period when I was like 15.
Pause.
Hey.
Oh, my God.
There's the picture.
Oh, the poor prick.
I mean, the poor vagina.
What is she?
I'm fucking confused.
You know, it really is.
I'm not making light of it but i'm
just saying the amount of time the disproportionate amount of coverage this stuff get look at the poor
girl she made the right choice i gotta say she was not going to the prom jesus christ Jesus Christ. It's like Carrot Top fucking banged Bill Cosby.
I don't know.
The poor thing.
Oh, my goodness gracious.
But wait a minute.
She's got a necktie on.
Even in that picture.
Oh.
So go ahead.
I could, you know, bind down my chest so I didn't really have to worry about that.
No one would be looking at my downstairs, but I couldn chest so I didn't really have to worry about that.
No one would be looking at my downstairs, but I couldn't stop what a period was doing to me.
You know, and it would force me to stay indoors sometimes.
Oh, poor you!
I just imagine not having a period for like six months and then it trying to kick you in the face.
That's how it feels.
But no, it's not nice.
I know what that's like.
And that's kind of why I felt to be more open
about talking about it because I thought
if I'm going through this as a trans man,
I guarantee that there are other trans men
who are going to be like,
that's a nice thing to do.
Well, I'm glad you're making a film about it.
I think it should open at all low cineplexes across the country.
And just to see how little anybody gives a fucking... Let me tell you, that screening at the Santa Barbara Film Festival,
that'll be the biggest crowd you have.
Kenny, I don't mean to be insensitive, but I really do.
I'm tired of it.
Okay, you bleed, your nipples hurt.
What do you want me to tell you?
Now you're a guy.
You can't be having your period.
You know?
It's got to be a bear.
What if he's in the pool, jumps in the pool with his buddies?
What the fuck?
All of a sudden looks like Jaws.
All of a sudden it looks like Jaws.
At a high pitch screaming.
And the water filled with blood.
Bump into a friend of mine, Herbie Hancock from Cleveland.
Shock bit him in half.
Apparently he was on the rag that week and anyways we delivered the bomb
i just don't uh we should change the name of the show to trans
something rads is like look man i feel bad for the guy slash girl
um finally tonight I meet the press.
What should I do?
MSG and Chinese food.
Row over white model in cornrows.
Dinero.
What do we do?
Which one, Raz?
I'll let you pick.
Dinero.
Want to do Dinero right now?
All right. Please, Mr. Dinero let you pick. De Niro. Want to do De Niro right now? All right.
Please, Mr. De Niro.
De Niro.
De Niro.
I met you.
You were very nice.
You've been my favorite actor forever.
But you're undoing.
Well, you started undoing your legacy with the fucking meet the Farkas horse shit.
Meet the parents is great.
But after that, you had a few duds.
Everybody does.
But stop now.
Stop.
Stop with the politics please please nick you can't say that i know freedom of speech let me out but i'm just
saying uh bobby denaro took aim at who else president trump while accepting his lifetime
achievement award at the set do you know why he hates him so much there's a theory out there that
it's a beef over some pussy that goes back which you know they were both big shots in new york city it's in the
80s when he was still considered doing real work um there was a beef over abroad and to me it does
seem that personal you know who that broad was it was ken Kenny Jones. He was a fucking 10 years old.
Apparently Trump gave him slash her a tampon at a club.
That makes no sense. But anyways, De Niro took aim at accepting his life at the SAG-AFTRA Awards in L.A. on Sunday.
But the vehemently anti-Trump star was in a relatively restrained mood,
stopping short of calling out the president by name but um here is a a clip
of mr denaro i can imagine some of you are saying all right let's not get into politics
but we're we're in such a dire situation so deeply concerning to me and to so many others I have to say
something and I thought I said it pretty well to Variety the other day so I'm
gonna hold myself. He's actually talking pretty clearly for him. There's right and
there's wrong and there's common sense and there's abuse of power. And as a citizen, I have as much right as anybody,
an actor, an athlete, a musician, anybody else,
to voice my opinion.
And if I have a bigger voice because of my situation,
I'm going to use it whenever I see a blatant abuse of power.
Look at Meryl Streep, you filthy, rotten pig face, you.
Who's this guy? Who let the terrorists in?
Look at this beady-eyed fuck.
First of all, Mr. De Niro, who's saying you can't use your voice?
Anybody? My God. Let me say something else on MLK Junior Day, Mr. De Niro.
What if somebody treated Obama the way Trump's being treated and called them fucking names? And
like you said, you wanted to punch Trump in the face, recently said you wanted to see him get
hit in the face with a bag of shit on a, shit. What if some white person said that about Obama?
Would you be alright with that, you fucking
hypocrite?
I hate to say that. I love the fucker. Very nice.
We met him. Me and Jimmy Norton were questioning him for 20
minutes.
But do you see what I'm saying?
He's thinking, and this
goes as courageous in Hollywood. A room
full of people who think like you.
Exactly. Ooh oh takes a lot
of balls to get up there you know um but uh please mr dinero please please go back to making movies
do another irishman only call it the mick and make it an hour long instead of 45 days
call it the mic and make it an hour long instead of 45 days which i enjoy by the way the antichrist you got me in a vendetta kind of mood anyways uh that is enough on mlk junior day
most of the people have the day off but no raz said look man look, man, I took African American studies and they told us
you just go to work hard.
Wait a minute.
No, that's what some Klan guy said to me.
I'm confused.
I'm picturing those athletes that you're talking
about, even cheating in there.
Oh, my God.
Anyways, folks, please, this weekend if you're in the, again, in the, what, hold on a minute,
Yonkers on Thursday night.
It's a tiny club.
It's a great place to work out new stuff.
It's a well run.
The next night, the Ridgefield Playhouse.
I was at 430 last week.
It only holds five.
Let's pack that place.
And then the next night, the Locker Room Theater in Beverly, Mass.,
my old stomping grounds where I grew up practically.
Anyways, check those dates out on nickdip.com.
And don't forget the Comics Gym.
And don't forget cameo.com.
If you want me to send a personal video roasting one of your friends or relatives,
a neighbor you hate, a co-worker you hate, or say happy birthday to your Grammy or your Grampy or a Briss.
I'll do 12 minutes at a Briss.
I got a lot of penis jokes.
Yummy.
That is it for today.
Remember, you guys think it.
I will say it.
You're very welcome.
We'll see you people on Patreon back here tomorrow. Have a good rest of the day, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow. Oh, wow. guitar solo