The Nick DiPaolo Show - Why the Dems will LOSE in 2020 | The Nick Di Paolo Show #243
Episode Date: October 16, 2019Join me at 11! MONDAY - THURSDAY 11AM ET #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir...
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🎵 Oh yeah, how are you folks?
Welcome to the big show on a Wednesday
Alright, alright with the music
Alright with the fucking music
We've been doing this show for two years
Jason, move the monitor there
Do I have to fucking think of everything?
Honest to God.
I'm 57.
I have no memory.
You don't smoke pot, do you?
That's good.
Oh, Jason has been through a morning.
Him and Raz.
Glenn Beck.
There's only five million people watching, And I come on to dead fucking silence
So the heads are gonna roll, probably mine, but
Rich, how you doing?
Your posture is as bad as ever
My back hurts a little, but I'm okay
Yeah, your back hurts?
With your life partner Kevin last night doing shh
Excuse me
Anyways, welcome to the big show, ladies and gentlemen
We're coming to you live, as usual
Patreon members We'll do it live, We're coming to you live, as usual Patreon members
We'll do it live!
Alright, you don't have to get nasty about it
For the love of Jesus
I'm as mad as hell
And I'm not gonna take this anymore
Welcome to the show
And hey, did you watch the debates last night?
Let me just say the debates you
know what that is those are auditions for uh msnbc uh future shows bunch of left-wing fucking lion
suckers of satan's cock promising stuff they could never promise taking away stuff that they should
never take away how anybody votes democrat is beyond me you You're un-American. You hate this fucking country.
Case closed.
Just, it should come with a trigger warning, the Democrat debate.
It should say, this could induce vomiting.
I spent half the time in the bathroom after seeing a hot piece of ass,
Amy Klobuchar, next to stick figure, Liz Warren.
We all said, guys, you're really distracting the shit out of me.
I'm about to knock somebody unconscious.
That's good.
We're not doing the fucking Today Show here.
Did that six inches make a big fucking difference?
It was in the shot.
Okay, that's the answer.
It's like bad porn here.
You know, you watch a porn, you see a boom mic an inch from the
girl's asshole and you're like, well, just stick it in. Oh, that's filthy. I feel embarrassing stuff
like that with Raz here. It seems like probably a nice conservative religious guy. I don't know
his politics. It's probably gone. God, if this gets out, I'm working with? Sorry. Yeah, the debates were just tremendous.
First of all, you see Biden and Bernie next to each other right in the middle of the stage.
It looks like a couple of statues that the Berkeley kids want to pull down.
Just all stiff white guys. Joe Biden had the energy of a chemo patient just fucking babbling on about
nothing. Pete Buttigieg is a little girl. But you know what? And I said this on Beck. He's the
smartest one up there. He really thinks out his stuff. And Liz Warren took a pounding.
Last time a woman got roughed up like that, I think it was Tina Turner on her honeymoon
or fucking Kathleen Willey leaving a Motel 6 with Bill Clinton at 3 a.m. with a black eye and a chipped tooth.
I don't know what happened.
It must have been the headboard.
But, yeah, they went after Liz Warren.
Apparently, she's topping the polls, and she was the target last night, and they just fucking massacred her to the point where she's changing
her indian name to wounded duck she is an indian remember they found that colonel of corn and her
poop 23 and me uh so i i try to watch i'm trying to be a journalist, and I'm flipping back and forth between that and the Yankees-Astros.
And let me tell you something, Yankees, you're in trouble.
Jason, are you with me on that one?
Did you watch it?
Yes, sir.
Garrett Cole is a beast.
Yes, Garrett Cole is a—and those guys come in there all throwing 98-99, hitting the edges, and whatever.
We'll get to that in the sports segment.
I'll throw it over to Tammy.
So what's the first?
They all came out and attacked Trump because that's what the New York Times told them to do and ABC and CNN.
And can you imagine after we know after what we know about CNN and what Project Veritas uncovered that you're watching a presidential debate on that
fucking network? Does that bother anybody? Does that bother fucking Zucker? Is he crooked?
Is he a snake with scoliosis? Just a fucking midget. But yeah, CNN pretends to have a debate
and throw softball questions. And they all came out swinging at Trump.
It's the only time they unified the Democrats.
And here's a few of them going after Trump right at the beginning.
In my judgment, Trump is the most corrupt president in the history of this country.
Pause.
Pause.
Excuse me, Mr. Jewish fellow in his late hundreds.
Really?
this country? Pause. Excuse me, Mr. Jewish fellow in his late hundreds. Really? He's more corrupt than Barack Obama, who actually spied on Donald Trump's campaign. We'll never put him in cuffs
because he's the first black president. He's never going to have. But he knew all about that.
He sent a pallet, a wooden pallet with $160 billion to the biggest state sponsor of terrorism,
to the biggest state sponsor of terrorism, Iran.
He said on an open mic to Medvedev, the Russian guy in 2012,
I'll have more flexibility after the election,
not to mention the IRS going after conservative PAC groups.
I could go on and on, but they're saying Trump is the most,
yeah, you know what, he's so corrupt he put the goddamn transcript out there. You guys are walking into a trap.
He played you.
Played you like a fiddle.
Go ahead, Mr. Sanders.
It's not just that he obstructed justice with the Mueller report.
No, he didn't.
I think that the House will find him guilty of, worthy of impeachment.
This president, and I agree with Bernie.
Oh, do you, fuckface?
Senator Sanders is the most corrupt president in modern history, and I agree with Bernie Sanders, is the most corrupt president
in modern history. And I think all of our history. Two years ago, I started the need to impeach
movement because I knew there was something desperate. Who let this guy in this mannequin
from JCPenney that we did have the most corrupt president in the country and that only the voice
and the will of the American people would drag Washington to see it as a matter of right and wrong, not of political expediency.
Our framers imagined this moment, a moment where we would have a corrupt president.
She's hot, though.
And our framers then rightly designed our system of democracy to say there will be checks and balances.
I mean, check.
This is one of those moments.
This is one of those moments, is it?
You're going to be done soon, you empty pantsuit, you.
It's a black thing up there.
Yeah, get rid of it, fellas.
Is this your first day?
What the fuck happened this morning?
You guys all out doing heroin until 3 in the morning?
Unbelievable.
But yeah, they all went up.
What are you doing, Rich?
Rich.
It should be on off.
Jason, do you fucking...
Rich.
Rich.
It should be on off.
Jason, do you fucking...
Put it on off!
Fuck!
Jason, what did you put it on?
Auto?
Now Jason's going to look. Two guys to shut off the air conditioning.
That's what I'm fucking working with here.
Jason, what did you do last night?
Emily in town? Huh? Bob,
who was it? Jesus. So anyways, yeah, they kept going after him. And did we play? Oh,
here's my favorite clip. Fucking Joe Biden, who's just he's done. He had he had he had no fucking energy.
And he started babbling about Wall Street and coupons.
And I'm like, did I hear that right?
He said, do the Wall Street.
And I'm like, wait, maybe that's something a term that they use on Wall Street when they fill out the paperwork.
But no, I go online after this journalist going, we didn't understand what that meant.
But here's Biden being the gaffe machine that he is.
I would eliminate the capital gains tax.
I would raise the capital gains tax to the highest rate of 39.5%.
I would double it.
Because guess what?
Why in God's name should someone who's clipping coupons in the stock market make, in fact, pay a lower tax rate than someone who, in fact, is,
like I said, a school teacher and a fire fighter. It's ridiculous.
What's that?
I would eliminate.
Yeah, the air's off, Rich. Thank you. You want a raise for that?
Coupons in Wall Street. What is he talking about? I watched the movie Wall Street 20 times.
Never saw Gordon Gekko take a pair of scissors to the penny saver so he could pocket 50 cents on a roll of Charmin.
What the fuck is this guy babbling about?
Wouldn't you love to have a camera in Biden's, the people who handle him during the debates?
They must be like, yeah, exactly.
That's what they're doing the whole time.
They're like this.
Grampy's got a doodoo in his pants.
How'd we let him out there like this? God, I'm starting to believe that
old white, you know, old white guys are kind of, you know, I'm starting to fucking have to
watch him. But well, this is the motto of his campaign. What are we doing? What's going on
right now? Joe, what are we doing? What's going on right now? This is them leading Joe into the
studio. What are we doing? What's going on right now? This is them leading Joe into the studio. What are we doing?
What's going on right now?
This is him getting the briefing in the morning.
What are we doing?
What's going on right now?
This is his visiting angels nurse changing his diapers.
What are we doing?
What's going on right now?
Oh.
Shut up.
Shut up. I will not shut up.
I don't like these people.
It's personal with me.
It is personal.
I don't shit on these people because it's easy, but because it's hard.
So we had Biden.
We have Amy Klobuchar, who, you know, she has a reputation for being a bitch with her staff.
And, you know, it really isn't fair.
She's a take-charge woman.
But, boy, I'd like to get her in a headlock and snap that head off like a champagne cork.
These are some of the most unlikable people ever.
But, you know, it's funny.
You watch these guys from debate to debate.
And somebody must have said, you have to be angry.
You have to be, you know be mean, animated, or whatever.
So here's Amy Klobuchar getting into it with the titless wonder, the Cherokee, the half-breed, Liz Warren.
I believe the best and boldest idea here is to not trash Obamacare,
but to do exactly what Barack Obama wanted to do from the beginning.
Yeah, you run on that.
That would bring down the cost of the premium and expand the
number of people covered and take on the pharmaceutical companies.
That is what we should be doing.
A round of applause because a woman finished a sentence.
Instead of taking 149 million people off their insurance in four years.
And I'm tired of hearing, whenever I say these things, oh, it's Republican talking
appoints.
You are making Republican talking appoints right now in this room by coming out for a plan that's
going to do that. I think there is a better way that is bold to cover more people, and
it's the one we should get behind.
Senator Warren.
This fucking cunt.
I didn't spend most of my time in Washington. I spent most of my time transitioning to a
man. That's what you did. And that is why hardworking people go broke.
How do you know?
And one of the principal reasons
for that is the cost of health care.
And back when I was studying it...
You were studying it?
And then they got into it
even worse.
You know the clip I want to hear.
Timing and comedy
is everything, Raz,
I'll tell you
I love cats, just for that reason
It's like watching a white guy walk down a Baltimore street at three in the morning
What? What does that mean? This sounds racist, I don't know
And then my favorite midget, my favorite gay midget at three in the morning. What? What does that mean? This sounds racist. I don't know.
And then my favorite midget, my favorite gay midget,
Pete Buttigieg, Mayor Pete, who to me is, I'm going to say it again, is the most, I would say
the smartest one. It's a little echoey in here. You getting that? No?
All right. It's in my head.
Pete Buttigieg, who is, you can tell he's an intelligent guy, but then he says stuff.
Like, I'm not even, we don't have this clip.
They asked him about Dave Chappelle special going after transgenders.
And he goes, yeah, it's fashionable.
It's almost fashionable to be, I don't know, hateful or some PC horse shit.
Yeah, it's fashionable for people
like comedians to go after
people trying to censor them. This is
going to be your president? This is who you guys want?
Really?
Anyways, so Buttigieg,
he goes
after Elizabeth Warren because they have
the same suit size.
Go ahead.
To make the right decision for your health care and for your
family. And it can be delivered without an increase. Senator, your response. So let's
be clear. Whenever someone hears the term Medicare for all who want it, understand what
that really means. It's Medicare for all who can afford it. And that's the problem we've got.
Medicare for all is the gold standard.
It is the way we get health care coverage for every single American, including the family whose child has been diagnosed with cancer, including the person who's just gotten an MS diagnosis.
Oh, Jesus.
Who, Lou Gehrig?
That's how we make sure that everyone gets health care.
We can pay for this.
I've laid out the basic principles.
She won't answer how.
Costs are going to go up for the wealthy.
They're going to go up for big corporations.
How about the middle class?
She won't answer that question.
You liar.
Liar, liar, whore.
That raises their costs.
Look at Pete.
Because costs are what people care about.
I'm going to stick my thumb in her Adam's apple.
I learned it in the Navy.
You know, for the biggest part of my life.
Thank you, Senator. Thank you. Shut your mouth, olive oil. I don't think the American people care about. I learned it in the Navy. Thank you, Senator.
Shut your mouth, olive oil.
I don't think the American people are wrong when they say that what they
want is a choice.
And the choice of Medicare for all who want it,
which is affordable for everyone,
because we make sure that the subsidies are in place,
allows you to get that health care.
It's just better than
Medicare for all whether you want it or not.
And I don't understand why you believe the only way to deliver affordable coverage to everybody
is to obliterate private plans, kicking 150 million Americans off of their insurance
in four short years when we could achieve that same big, bold goal.
And once again, we have a president.
We're competing to be president for the day after Trump. Our country will be horrifyingly polarized even more than now. After everything we've been through, after everything we are about to go through, this country will be even more divided. Why unnecessarily divide this country over health care, there's a better way to divide the country.
You're for impeachment.
He's worried about the country being divided over health care.
But he's for impeachment.
That'll really bring us together, huh?
Fucking midget.
Pete Buttigieg.
I think he's the smartest one up there.
And I do agree with him saying to Liz Warren, people should have a choice, you dummy.
It's my way or the highway, she says.
She couldn't rent a lemonade stand because she lives in Cambridge, Mass.,
and she's a communist like the rest of them.
That's no exaggeration.
Her and Joseph Goebbels used to share a room at the whatever hotel.
Anyways, and then my favorite, the definition of an empty suit. This guy, oh, my God, he's like a mannequin at fucking Dillard's.
Just a, or Belk's, pick you.
This guy is dumb, and you know what he did by running for president?
Exposed what an asshole he is.
I have no use for him, but he knows how to ride a skateboard,
so if I someday in my 60s,
when I want to do that, let's take a look at Beto O'Rourke. He's still worried about the Russians.
Yes, we must be unafraid in ensuring that we hold Russia accountable for invading the world's
greatest democracy and being able to do it.
Thanks to Donald Trump. He thinks the Russians invaded us. That's where he is.
They spent two hundred thousand dollars on Facebook ads, had nothing to do with it.
Google, we already know because a guy, a whistleblower wrote a book from Google,
sent four to six million votes to Hillary Clinton. OK, the guy's name is Epstein. Look up his book.
six million votes to Hillary Clinton.
A guy named Epstein.
Look up his book. That's what he does. He researches bias on the internet. And
this Dick Cheese is acting like Putin
is in your backyard with a pair of binoculars
checking out your wife. Nice haircut
stick figure.
Go ahead. Let the jerk off talk.
With impunity so far,
so much so that they are invading
this democracy right now as we
speak. Still, there's a Russian behind you, Bernie.
Of this president.
So if there are not consequences, we will.
That's it.
Continue to see this problem going forward.
That's it.
That's a no.
He's making me sick.
Somebody get me a cert.
I'm going to puke.
I'm a fucking idiot.
Are you ever.
Are you ever? Are you ever?
When I turn my headphones up, it gets really, like, echoing here.
And then when you guys play a clip, I have to turn this up so I can hear the clip.
What the fuck?
You know, I'm going to have to call Jay.
He put this together.
Maybe he's overrated.
No, I'm kidding.
The guy's an actual genius.
We love him very much.
Anyways, that was the gist of it.
You didn't miss anything is my point.
I kept going back and forth, and I watched the Yankees lose to the Astros,
and my dick was hard as a shark's tooth.
It was terrific.
Let's lighten it up and do a follow-up segment.
Remember last week I did a thing about a black woman?
She had a baby in her hand.
Is that her or is that the running back for Atlanta?
She shook her baby, dropped it. She put it on Facebook because she needed the friends,
apparently, whether they're real or not. You remember? Do we have the we actually have the clip of what she did? Here you go. I can't believe I forgot to play the music today.
Look at this.
Here's a good mom.
Let me get this blunt going as I hold my baby like a Nerf football.
Look at that poor baby.
This is what kills.
She's going to work her triceps.
This is like my 600-pound life.
This is what.
Dr. No told this woman, this is how you get your fucking pipes to find
look at the poor baby
he's like what am I a barbell?
put me down fucking Aisha
I'll shit right in your head
yep that's right
I'm gonna change his diaper
maybe fucking 10 hours from now
baby stink
I'll drop it in a fucking pillow
anyways why are we following up on this?
A judge Tuesday dismissed charges against a Tennessee mom who was arrested after a vile video on Facebook
showed her doing tricep exercises with a one-month-old baby while blowing smoke.
Tybrisha Sexton was charged with aggravated child abuse after Chattanooga police responded
several complaints from people who saw the video when they arrived at her apartment on September
20th. She allegedly had the smell of alcohol on her breath and ball sweat.
Officers said she didn't want this is what she said to the officers. I didn't
want the fucking baby anyway. You believe this shit? You fat, nasty black bitch. Several
neighbors also showed to officers the 30 minute video where Sexton grabbed the daughter by
one arm and lifted her in the air. She had also been charged with resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. She's just a fucking nasty, nasty black bitch.
AD attorney Ben Boyer told Judge Alex McVeigh.
Keep that name in mind.
Alex McVeigh at a hearing in Hamilton County that while the video is disturbing.
This is what Ben Boyer said, the assistant DA.
While the video is disturbing.
The prosecution thought it would fall short of meeting the burden of proof to make charges stick.
Neglect.
So blowing smoke into a baby's face and using her as a barbell, that's not neglect.
So what do you have to do to a baby in Tennessee to consider it neglect?
Huh?
Put her in one of those, you know, those ovens where they just set it and forget it?
Would that make the bar down there?
Are you fucking kidding me?
This broad should be in jail for five years.
Nick, that's horrible.
No, it's not.
What is child neglect in Tennessee?
Jesus H. Christ, what?
Not giving them grits 14 times a day?
Help me.
Go to the dentist.
That's neglect.
Yeah, so that judge should be taken out, or that attorney, assistant attorney, Ben Boyer.
So look him up.
Bombard his social media with nasty messages.
That poor little girl, that little baby is, you know, does not have a chance.
I would adopt her, but I can't.
I have two cats and a parakeet.
I don't know what's going on in the world.
You know, our country's America.
Canada, even our neighbors to the north, they usually stay news-free, you know.
But Air Canada,
have you read this one? This will get you
panties in a bunch. Just fried my apples.
Air Canada will no longer refer to
passengers as ladies
and gentlemen.
What difference at this point does
it make? First of all, have you
ever been referred to as ladies and gentlemen on
a flight? What are you, a fucking
host in the Tony Awards?
I've never been.
First of all, there are no ladies and gentlemen on any flights anymore.
You see a better clientele on a fucking Greyhound bus at 3 in the morning out of Louisville than people who take a plane.
But up in Canada, where they're very polite, some of the most politest people in the world. I guess they say ladies and gentlemen, or they did.
Many airlines are making efforts to be more inclusive.
There's that word again.
Why do we have to be inclusive on a fucking, on an airplane?
Which, by the way, that's the most diverse, you can't, you know what I mean?
People get on a plane, they're from all walks of life.
But let's bring them together.
So when we start heading into that mountain, we can all hold hands and fucking pray to
the same Arab God.
For example, earlier this year, we saw airlines for the first time add a non-binary gender option when booking travel,
including the option to select X as your gender rather than male or female.
So next time a plane hits a tower or a building or there's a terrorist attack,
they're going to go, we don't know.
They checked X on their fucking, we don't know.
Could have been a woman, could have been a guy.
I'm going to start checking X.
That way, I don't know, if I could do something nasty on the plane,
you punch a flight attendant and get away with it, and they'll go, are you X?
No, I put girl.
I put D for dykage.
Air Canada is a largely progressive airline, and La Presse reports on
La Presse, that's the name of the mail. La Presse
reports on an internal memo that has been sent to employees. Currently, Air Canada's
flight attendants, gate agents, and pilots refer to passengers as ladies and gentlemen.
I've never, I've taken Air Canada.
I don't remember that.
It was always a douchebag and American.
When making announcements, they'll soon be updating their phrasing to be more gender neutral.
Do you believe this?
In the world in which we live that we're even talking about this.
I don't know why I sound like I'm in a tunnel.
They'll be told, the Air Canada employees will be told
to start their announcements with hello everyone
or good morning everyone, which is probably what most
airlines say anyways. How about this? Welcome to this cramped
space, pud pullers.
Who wants a Diet Coke
and a fucking $12 bag of chips?
Raise your filthy hands, whores.
That's how they should talk to us.
The timeline
for this policy change hasn't yet been
revealed, but let's hope it's before.
Let's hope it's before 12
years from now, because we'll all be dead then.
As this explains, we want to ensure
an inclusive space for everyone
how many times have I said it's inclusive
in this fucking article do you think the
mantra do you think they've poisoned us with this
shit includes those who identify
with gender X
I would just get on the thing
and go welcome this is your pilot
who's got a vagina
raise those filthy hands now who's got a vagina? Raise those filthy hands.
Now, who's got a dick?
Okay, that's how it's going to be, okay?
Who doesn't, isn't sure?
Get in the bathroom and cut your wrist.
Bye-bye.
The change will be reflected in the transmission of the onboard announcement manual as part
of our commitment to respect gender identity, diversity, and inclusion.
We will tell you when this transmission will be available
and when to implement this change.
Jesus Christ, enough already.
Enough.
What difference at this point does it make?
If you guys, you know,
they don't want to hurt transgender people's feeling,
whatever.
Why don't you guys Delta?
Why don't you look at how you treat the feelings of white men.
When you get on Delta or I'm blind, I think it's the Delta. Watch when they put on a little video
of what not to do. And, you know, they make a little video. It's like a Broadway production.
They say, don't use your cell phone. And they, who do they cut to? White business guy. Don't
smoke. They cut to a white business guy put your stuff
away and they show naturally a minority shutting the computer if it's blatant anti-fucking white
property they cut to a white guy and you people got on is it really yeah it does because if it
was the other way around you'd be fucking whining you've created a monster me but i noticed this
shit uh every don... Don't interrupt
a woman who's breastfeeding to show a white guy
trying to pull a girl's bra off.
Fucking Delta.
Again, transgender.
How many transgender people, not
transgender, I should say people who don't
identify as cis.
Even that's confusing. Cis sounds
like a girl.
Cis and bro. How about that?
I'm just saying, you know, look out for somebody else's feelings other than a segment of the population that makes up 0.01 percent of the world.
That's all Nick DiPaolo is saying. Hey, this episode, as usual, of the Nick DiPaolo show brought to you by our favorite sponsor, MyBookie.ag.
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Real quick, tour dates.
I finally get a few weekends off.
I haven't, it's been brutal.
Friday and Saturday, November 8th and 9th, I'll be at the Kansas City Comedy Club in
Kansas City, Missouri.
Friday, November 15th, the Cortland Repertory Theater, Cortland, New York.
Saturday, November 16th, the Comedy Works in Saratoga Springs.
Friday, November 22nd, the Historic Ritz Theater, Brunswick, Georgia, my first appearance in
my home state, my new home state.
The next night, Saturday, November 23rd, the TIFF Theater in Tifton, Georgia.
And then New Year's Eve, I'll be at one of the most beautiful venues that I've ever performed at,
the Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, New York.
And then in 2020, Friday, January 24th, the Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, Connecticut.
Saturday, February 15th, Kelsey Theater, Lake Park, Florida.
Friday, April 3rd, the Morgan Hill Event Center in Herman, Maine.
So go to nickdip.com for all your ticket information.
Sounded like Tony Soprano, a thug Italian.
Speaking of thug Italians, Governor Cuomo.
That's right, Fredo's dead.
Now, Rich sends me this, and the headline is,
Cuomo drops the N-word during a live radio interview.
This is the day and age of the Internet.
Shouldn't I be able to find that unedited?
You couldn't find it. You looked, right?
Couldn't find it anywhere. It's the fucking Internet.
I mean, people are watching kiddie porn right now in Germany,
or any country that doesn't offend you.
But this could be a great story, but they show it and they
fucking bleep it. I mean, this is the internet.
I mean, there's hip-hop guys on that are saying it all the time.
My dad says it all the time, but he's got Alzheimer's. He don't know what he's doing.
I'm going to go crazy.
Yeah, Cuomo dropped in.
This is the governor now.
This isn't the guy who works for CNN.
Oh, my God.
Did we just almost have a power outage?
The lights just blinked in here.
Guys, if it goes out, it's not us.
I can't blame Jason for that.
We're still recording?
The lights are going on and off in here.
Can you imagine if that happened to him, Beck?
Oh, my God.
Governor Cuomo dropped the N-word during a live radio interview.
Let's take a look at the video of Governor Cuomo.
They used an expression that southern Italians were called.
I believe they're saying southern Italians, Sicilians.
I'm half Sicilian.
Were called, quote, unquote, and pardon my language, but I'm just quoting the Times,
n***er, wops, n-word, wops, as a derogatory comment. When I said that wAP was a derogatory comment, that's when the Times Union told me,
No, you should look in Wikipedia. WAP really meant a dandy.
I'm sure that's what they were saying.
You know you want crazy motherfucking WAP.
Let me tell you, as an Italian, WAP never bothered me.
You know what it stood for?
Does anybody know?
Without papers.
And that's what I call my friends who smoke pot and they never have papers on.
WAP.
I thought it stood for Will Order Pizza.
Will Order Pizza?
Did you come up with that on the way to work, shitface?
Not bad.
Will Order Pizza.
Not bad, Rich.
For a kid who has cancer of the funny bone and we'll order pizza.
That would make the whole world wops. It's only the number one food on the planet.
You can thank us wops for that. Early in the interview, this gets interesting because there's a couple of black politicians who once again couldn't let it go and act like fucking men.
They had to be children early in the interview. Cuomo had been asked about the controversy over a Mother Cabrini statue after the governor announced at the Columbus Day Parade Monday the state would fund the monument.
Mother Cabrini, man. Remember her? She played for the Browns in the 60s.
Mother Cabrini. Cuomo said he believes there are still rampant anti-Italian American stereotypes being used.
So what?
Citing the Post's cover portraying a brother, Chris, and their father, Mario Cuomo,
as the cast of The Godfather, which they showed.
And the things I'm smart, not like everybody says.
Like, don't! I'm smart, and I want the sticks!
Of course, that's Chris Cuomo on CNN.
Remember?
He went into a rage when somebody called him, uh, they called him Fredo.
He got pissed.
You smug cocksucker.
Hey, I'm just doing the story.
No, fuck you, bitch.
Cuomo also went after Albany Times union managing editor Casey Seeler, who penned an op-ed of
what he called Cuomo Brothers' misconception of Italian-American insults.
When I said that WAP was a derogatory comment, that was when the Times-Union—we already showed that—said, no, it really means D&D.
African-American state leaders backed the governor.
State Assembly Speaker Carl Heastie said he didn't take offense to Cuomo.
We have to clear it now with black people, you know, which is just priceless to me.
The governor was quoting a New York Times story.
He wasn't in.
He was using it in context.
State Senator Kevin Parker, who's also black, said not at all offended by Cuomo's comments and that people are overreacting.
The way he said it, it might have been inartful.
So even even when we get permission for black people, he's the N-word, it has to be done artfully?
Like how?
Like Cat Williams?
Nobody does it better than Cat Williams.
You motherfuckers, how's the Iverson fucking?
You niggas up in there selling fish sandwiches and sneakers.
Oh, God.
But then again, Charles Barron, who is a hateful, just hates white people.
He's an assemblyman from New York, longtime activist, former Black Panther.
Now, these are who people vote in in Brooklyn.
Blasted Cuomo's remarks is very inappropriate and disrespectful.
Said the governor owes the black community an apology.
Public advocate Jumaane Williams, who's
another one who does not like Whitey, also denounced
he denounced Cuomo. We got a quote from
advocate Jumaane
Williams and he said this.
Brought through a motherfucker face.
That's all he said.
Did Cuomo offend you?
Run through a motherfucker face.
Apparently he's going to run through that motherfucker's face, that dandy wop.
He's going to run right over him.
He said the flippant and unnecessary use of the word on live radio gives people further permission to use the racist term.
Hey, Mr.
Jowami Williams, I got news for you.
We don't need your permission.
White people say to your own risk. That's all I'm saying.
Am I right,
Raz? I mean, that's how it is.
It's if, you know, I just
don't believe in one segment of the population
being allowed to use a word at another
side. I don't. I don't believe that for
anybody.
And I love,
you know, when they said artful, there really is an artful. When you listen
to Pryor or, you know, fucking Chris Rock, Cat Williams is like a poet. This shit rolls off,
even Eddie Griffin, it rolls off their tongue. It really, it's like fucking poetry.
That's a hate, I know it is. I'm not a big fan of it. I'm just saying.
Cat Williams makes me laugh as hard. He's like a p I know it is. I'm not a big fan of it. I'm just saying. Cal Williams makes me laugh as hard.
He's like a pimp who does comedy.
He can, I mean, he lays it out there.
And then you find him on the internet wrestling.
Did you see when he got in a fight, like at a family cookout?
At a 12-year-old kid's ass.
What was that?
It was like a 12-year-old kid.
A 12-year-old kid kicking his ass.
But then he jokes about it.
And God damn, he makes me laugh.
I gotta ask Chris Rock about that.
What Rock thinks of...
That guy...
Can you imagine hanging out with Cat Williams?
Just hanging out.
You tell me you wouldn't just fucking...
Same with Snoop.
When Snoop gets on his phone after the Oscar Awards
and he's all angry at how white it was and shit.
He's talking into his phone saying, Fuck these bitches! And at how white it was and shit. He's talking
into his phone saying, fuck these bitches. And there's a kitchen in the back. There's
like five black guys in a kitchen and women fucking laughing so hard they're crying. That
is all good stuff. Do you understand? That makes us. What's the point of living next
to people who are different and whatever the fuck? And a bunch of different, if you can't
enjoy some of that shit. But you can't tell Whitey not to say it.
He's going to say it
when LeBron misses a two-pointer with three seconds left.
And he got three
dimes on that motherfucker.
Here's a story I'll tell
you that really, really
touched my heart. A falcon defecates
in front of Putin as he
presents the bird to Saudi Arabia's
King Salman. First of all, I love Putin's giving a gift to a guy that had a journalist chopped up
into a thousand pieces. Comrade, nice job with Kishogi there. You cut him up like pokey bowl.
bogey ball. I bring you bird.
This is actually a funny, during his visit, Putin also met with Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman,
with whom the Russian president says he has a friendly relationship. Yeah, they both,
you know what they have in common? They fucking kill journalists like they're mosquitoes at a cookout. In televised remarks, Putin and the King said bilateral relations were important
to regional security and stability.
Well, you're failing on all levels there, apparently.
Is there any place on the planet more
unstable than the
fucking Middle East?
Absolutely not. It makes
Marianne Williamson look stable. What happened to her?
I think she
served me a donut at the airport in Cleveland
last week.
After discussions that touched on joint investments as well as conflicts in Syria and Yemen,
Prince Mohammed has said a Saudi-Russian cooperation on energy would achieve stability.
Anyways, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So Putin brings him a gift, and it was a bird.
And the bird, well, let's take a look and see what happens.
And it was a bird.
And the bird, well, let's take a look and see what happens.
Keep your eye on the bird's ass.
I don't mean to give anything away.
Look at him.
It's a bird. I keep this in my limousine.
Somebody order the ranch dressing.
Who ordered the ranch?
Now listen, do you hear anybody laughing there?
No, right?
There's a difference between America and, you know,
because we're such children over here.
Bird shits in public, well, two important people, the fucking crowd should be belly laughing. You know, because we're such children over here. Bird shits in public. Well, two important people that we the fucking crowd should be belly laughing.
You know, we're a little child.
It's like Americans go to nude beaches.
Oh, tits.
Look at that.
Tits.
French kids have their, you know, 12 year old daughters running around.
We're a little silly like that.
But that bird shit, he apparently richer thoughts.
I have nothing to say.
I'm sure Putin probably cut it up and eat it after that.
Anything that discredits Putin, he kills it.
You think that was discrediting Putin?
I mean, Putin?
Yeah.
He was Putin.
He was Putin.
He probably had cyanide in Putin.
He dropped a dookie on the rug.
We're going to have to.
I know.
Putin probably said, what the fuck? This bird embarrassed me.
Let's take it out. You know what? Let's give it to, we'll give it to the prince and have him do what he did to Khashoggi.
Love the same 10 guys come in with fucking sporks and chopped his mouth.
Don't go to bed with no price on your head. Nah, don't do it.
That was a cockatoo.
I wish that
bah, who ordered the ranch? Bah!
Who ordered the ranch? Gah!
Don't like Chipotle? Gah!
Don't like Chipotle? Gah!
I wish I could shit like
that. Jesus Christ. Every time I sit on the
toilet, it's like giving birth to triplets.
Pushing and breaking
blood vessels in my eyes and
our father who art in heaven.
Oh, my God, another poop story.
You know, you've got to segue.
You've got to keep the flow going, apparently.
I forgot to do this when the birds hit.
Bon appetit.
The rich poop different than the rest of us.
I knew that a long time ago.
I had a German hooker I paid $400 an hour. I'd call that rich. Rich, you know, I had a, I got a hooker in Baltimore
when I first got into comedy. She was so high class, I got soft shell crabs.
Hates Jews. Hates Jews.
Who? hates jews hates jews who the hooker yeah she did she was from persia but uh this this is a very uh
unappealing story in social demographic and economic uh correlates of food and chemical
consumption measured by wastewater-based ophthalmology published in the proceedings
of the national academy of science a group of researchers in Australia in Norway present their analysis of a 2016
Australian sewage census. They take
census when it comes to doo-doo? They found 11 Mexicans hiding
in a tank, a septic tank, which sampled 22
wastewater treatment facilities and looked for 42 biomarkers.
You know what? I wet my ass with your feelings.
The findings reveal that inequality can be detected in
new sewage. I'd rather not know about the inequality.
Let's just let it fly at that. Wouldn't you rather look at somebody's shoes and you can
tell? Instead of being and panhandling through this fucking shit.
Oh, I found a shot of Jägermeister.
No, that's actual gold.
The findings reveal that inequality can be detected in sewage.
Wealthy people's shit, and that's what it says in the article,
has biomarkers for digested fresh fruits and veggies and grains,
as well as higher doses of caffeine.
I'm going to argue this.
Let me read on.
I'm going to argue their conclusions.
The poorer you are, the more likely it is that your waste contains biomarkers for antidepressants, opioids,
meds for neuropathy and blood pressure.
Well, maybe you have Medicare Advantage
or whatever,
but
last time I checked
an apple
was a lot cheaper
than fucking heroin
or Oxycontin.
A fucking Caesar salad
costs like 11 cents.
They whack you
for like $25
in a restaurant.
But
it's rich white people who are all fucked up on opioids and shit.
I mean, you go through Snoop Dogg shit, what are you going to find?
You're going to find what?
That's right.
Remnants of grape soda, fish sandwich, maybe some collard greens.
Greens. The findings bear out that the epidemiological studies that look at self-reporting prescription data and other public health markers, they were even able to link demographics with
specific types of antidepressants. A higher proportion of laborers were prescribed Desvin
Lexphine. Imitratipine was most often. I've never heard of these drugs I watch TV around the clock
and there's drug commercials every three seconds
I've never heard of any of this, have you?
how about the Cialis?
go through my stool
want to see Viagra?
I dropped a blue cigar
on the toilet
prescribed to people who didn't finish
high school, you don't need a diploma
look at my shit, you can tell I flunked calculus toilet. Prescribed to people who didn't finish high school. You don't need a diploma. You just
go, look at my shit. You can tell I flunked calculus. And people taking cytoleprim tended,
these names are just fucking brutal, to, they tended to live alone and were often
separated or divorced. We don't have to take the sewage at face value. Oh, that's a relief.
Last place I want fucking sewage is in my face.
All of these results appear to be consistent with other studies into the lifestyles of demographic groups.
Bottom line is you can tell how rich or how poor somebody is by looking through their poo-poo.
I'd like to go through like, I don't know, Kylie Jenner.
She's worth like a billion dollars.
Are you going to tell me she doesn't have 6,000 opioids in there?
Or Kim?
Go ahead.
What about Trump, though?
I mean, he eats cheeseburgers and Diet Coke.
That's right.
He has the same diet as a low-income family.
Well, you're right.
He's a billionaire.
That's why this don't mean shit to me.
No pun intended. But, yes, Trump's a billionaire. That's why this don't mean shit to me. No pun intended.
But, yes, Trump's a billionaire.
And, again, he lives at Burger King.
And they found one of those paper crowns you get at Burger King.
Apparently he ate that.
He was just famished on Air Force One.
But you make a good point, Rich.
I would rather not know.
That's how obsessed we are, though, with equality.
Seriously, that's how obsessed we are.
We're going through feces.
How about piss?
What will that tell you?
Huh?
Get an NBA guy, have him piss in your jacket.
You will find at least $700,000 worth of weed, THC.
And get a guy on Wall Street,
you're going to find $6 million worth of blow in his wee-wee.
Who's with me here?
I look good today.
It's a nice tie.
It's from the Tucker Carlson collection.
I'm glad the show is wrapping up because the temperature is going up fucking 12-fold.
Finally tonight, I found the woman who, if murder, they should legalize murder after I watch this clip.
I've never hated a person
more honest to god she makes Hillary all these feminists look like they're sweet
you guys have to I'm giving you trigger warning white guys white guy trigger warning because if
you get a flat screen tv worth over 50 but you you're going to break it. You're going to fucking smash it into a million pieces.
If I met this woman today on the street, seriously, I would be arrested for murder.
Ten minutes later, Rich sent me this.
I couldn't sleep last night.
It made me so fucking angry.
Another case of a woman who looks like a man, and that's where her real anger comes from.
Remember where you're watching that.
It's got nothing to do with race or whatever.
She hates men because she could never get them, especially hates white men.
She's ingested all this PC horse shit from the left, and white men have to blame for all.
Take a look at this.
I challenge you to watch this and not put your fist through a wall.
I don't want to hear what you have to say.
Oh, my gosh.
No, I'm serious.
Oh, my gosh.
Why do you have an opinion on this?
Come on, Susan.
This is...
Susan Yerke.
I won't say a word.
That's why I like to...
You shouldn't have an opinion on that.
This is the point.
I met with constituents of color, and quite honestly, some of the feedback was that some of this wording was ridiculous.
From birth.
You have been white from birth.
Pause, pause.
Is this bitch fucking, what is she, Nigerian?
You're fucking white.
Is she not a white woman?
She's telling these white guys they shouldn't have an opinion on equity or oppression.
Can I ask you a question?
Did she ever, ever have a guy attracted to her, ever? or oppression. Can I ask you a question?
Did she ever, ever have a guy attracted to her, ever?
That's where the anger stems from.
I don't give a shit.
And what they do is they gravitate
to other people.
They join gropes,
and that would be the feminists.
Look at her fucking face.
Looks like George Will
trying to take a dump.
Go ahead.
Arguing, what is a system of oppression?
You've never experienced one.
So shut up.
I don't want to hear that.
Pause.
Pause.
No.
No.
No.
Did you experience a fucking oppression?
If there's a hierarchy of oppression, you're a fucking white woman.
That scarf is worth more than my whole outfit. Seriously. What? Can you imagine? Can you fucking imagine?
Make me a fucking sandwich. And how about the fucking guy just going, oh, come on,
instead of saying, shut your fucking mouth, I'll hang you with that scarf, bitch.
Seriously, this is, guys, you're going to stop pushing back? Go ahead.
Seriously, this is, guys, you're going to stop pushing back?
Go ahead.
Just stop.
Just stop, Dan.
Stop, Dino.
You are not oppressed.
And people in Oak Park are.
And we are trying to recognize that as a community.
This mayor and this board is obviously not willing to crying willing to face history we have a chance
to make history it is time for this community look at look at the anger
enough and you stop it you are a white male you stop it pause
is that guy white she's hitting it It's like Ben Berean sitting next to her.
The fuck?
She's literally lashing out physically.
She believes that white males don't have a fucking,
they can't weigh in on this.
You think gender politics is retarded?
This is a grown fucking woman.
She might be the most hateful broad on the planet.
Oh, I would love to see her get mugged.
Just, she's lashing out. the most hateful broad on the planet. Oh, I would love to see her get mugged. Just...
She's lashing out.
She wants to punch.
Ugh.
She's a malignant cunt.
She's what?
She's a malignant cunt.
I didn't hear you.
What?
She's a malignant cunt.
Who is?
She's a malignant cunt.
Let the beautiful woman finish.
Look at this emasculated bitch.
I think if we reduce these conversations to nobody cares what you have to say because you're a white male,
I don't think we're doing this right.
You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.
Are you fat, sneaky cunt?
Just cunt.
Said Andrew Bonita, you motherfucking cunt.
You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.
Motherfucking cunt.
You fucking whore.
That's what she deserves.
She literally believes.
Think about what kind of process she had to go through mentally to come to that conclusion.
And the brainwashing.
And again, because she looks like, you know, an NFL referee and she's a woman.
The fucking angst.
She really believes.
Guys, white guys just say, she's white. First of all, she's guys, white guys should stay.
She's white.
First of all, she's fucking,
then you shut up.
Let's do the pecking order.
The only people who should be allowed
to speak at this meeting,
if you've got a Native American
missing two legs and
a fucking hair lip and a half Japanese.
That's the logic.
Jason, you all right?
You look fucking bored and tired.
Anyways, that's enough for today.
I'm keeping that.
I have that at home on my computer of that woman.
Every time my mother yells at me, I'm going to send her one.
This is you, bitch.
All right.
Thank you, Patreon members, once again.
Catch me on Glenn Beck.
Just Google Nick DiPaolo Glenn Beck.
The guy's in every facet of the Internet, radio, all over the country.
And Cameo.com.
If you want me to send a personal video, I'll make it on my phone.
You tell me who to send it to.
I will roast their balls off.
I'll be nice.
I'll attack.
Whatever you want.
Make their day.
Ruin their day.
It's a lot of fun. And, you know, I need the money. Look'll attack. Whatever you want. Make their day. Ruin their day. It's a lot of fun.
And, you know, I need the money.
Look at this necktie.
I found this in Rich's trunk on the mouth of a 12-year-old boy.
Now, listen.
That is it.
Anything else, Jason?
What am I forgetting?
That is it.
Nickdip.com for ticket information.
You guys think it.
I will say it.
You're very welcome.
And we'll see you guys same time tomorrow.
Take care of yourselves. guitar solo Outro Music