The Nick DiPaolo Show - Wray Hearing "Gaetz" Testy | Nick Di Paolo Show #1427v
Episode Date: July 13, 2023In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Gaetz calling out Wray, Kamala the AI czar and more! Today's show is brought to you NUGENIX. Get a free bottle of Nugenix Total T by te...xting 231-231 & entering the keyword NICK. Texting enrolls you into recurring automated text messages. Consent not required to purchase. Message & data rates may apply. #1 Doctor recommended brand by primary care physicians based on an independent survey conducted by IQVIA, 2022. Like what you hear? Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com
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🎵 It's freedom, baby, yeah
What up, kids, on a Thursday
Thirsty Thursday
Yeah, me and Dallas will be boarding a plane tomorrow morning Thursday. Thirsty Thursday.
Yeah.
Me and Dallas will be boarding a plane tomorrow morning
and headed to a ski resort
in Sweden.
Sweden or Switzerland.
Or
theater in Arlington, Virginia.
They used to shoot snuff films back in the
late 90s.
Arlington, Virginia. Cinema Cinema Drafthouse.
Very nice, nice, nice.
How you guys doing?
I get very depressed the day after the All-Star game,
which was what, Tuesday?
Wednesday, yeah, the game was...
Do you know that's the only day of the year
where there are no professional sports going on?
Dallas just fell over.
He fainted at that amazing state.
But that's how I know I'm addicted.
I have withdrawals.
I'm like, God damn it.
And once again, last night, it's about,
I'd say 1130.
I go, I might go to bed before fucking midnight tonight.
But no, I switched to the IID,
all the 19 shows I've recorded on the IID network.
And I got to find out who killed a mother in Oklahoma
28 years ago who nobody gives a fuck about.
And then I put another one on.
It is so, you've already heard my spiel.
It is so, every story they do has a gay cop in it,
or it's a Christian family.
They all take place in the Midwest,
and you guys wouldn't pick up on it unless I told you.
Because you've got to know the politics of the people who make this shit.
It's just, it drives me insane.
Anyways, real quick update on the White House cocaine scandal. Guess what, folks? This
is surprising. This just in. Secret Service has ended its investigation into cocaine found earlier
this month on the West Wing of the White House without identifying a suspect. GOP members of
the House Oversight Committee told the Post today, Rep. Tim Burchett, Republican, Tennessee,
stormed out of a briefing offered to lawmakers moments after it began,
calling the conclusion bogus and the investigation a complete failure.
So, you know, at least somebody got upset.
Furthermore, you can all go fuck yourselves.
He sounded very Jewish.
They know who goes in the White House.
He said they have facial identification.
They have y'all.
Y'all know you can't go in there without giving your social security number away.
And to say that it's just some weekend visitor, that's bogus.
Nobody is buying that at all.
And nobody is.
But we knew this was coming.
They were able to narrow down a list of approximately 500 people.
Oh, my God, it's just so obvious.
That had possibly left a small bag of cocaine.
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene told reporters,
my question to them was, have they drug tested the list of 500 potential suspects
that brought, it's so cute, she thinks they really want to find somebody, brought an
illegal substance or drug, cocaine
into their white house. The answer was no, and
they're unwilling to do so.
She says the real concern is
the average American citizen has to
take a drug test every day, some of them, when they go to work.
Fucking, anyways.
I don't care if
we know it's coming, it still makes me sick
to my goddamn stomach.
Let's stay in the Capitol.
A hearing gets nasty.
That's gets.
It's pretty goddamn good.
GA, whatever.
Sparks flew Wednesday as Rep.
Mack gets.
You know, he looks like the missing Kennedy.
All right, pull my finger.
Asked FBI Director Christopher Wray about whether the bureau is running interference for the first family.
Getz opened his questioning by reading WhatsApp messages from July and August 2017,
in which Hunter Biden demanded money like he was fucking Don Corleone from a Chinese business associate.
Let's watch Getz going after,, I think, Ray, right?
The head of the FBI.
Check it out.
I'm sitting here with my father.
Father.
I will make certain that between the man sitting next to me and every person he knows and my ability to forever hold a grudge, that you will regret not following my direction.
That's Hunter.
I am sitting here waiting for the call with my father.
Sounds like a shakedown, doesn't it, director?
I'm not going to get into commenting on that.
You seem deeply uncurious about it.
Pause.
He looks like Eddie Arnold from, you know, Green Acres.
Holy shit!
That's the new thing.
Remember to put, go ahead.
Almost suspiciously
uncurious. Are you protecting the Bidens?
Absolutely not.
The FBI does not.
You won't answer the question
about whether or not that's a shakedown
and everybody knows why you won't answer it
because to the millions
of people who will see this, they know
it is and your inability to acknowledge that
is deeply revealing about you.
Hey, fucking men.
Is that, it's that easy to just go, I don't know,
I, you know, I can't talk about that ongoing,
well, you're investigating everything,
so you don't have to talk about any of it.
It's so, why is that even allowed?
The message, Gates, Gats, what's his name? Matt Gats?
Matt Gates highlighted was released last, how fucking bad am I? I had his name right two
minutes ago. Message Matt Gates highlighted was released last month by Republicans on the House
Ways and Means Committee. Rep. Wesley Hunt, Republican, Texas, also weighed in on the apparent double
standard of the federal justice system when comparing classified documents, investigations
involving President Biden and former President Donald Trump. Special Counsel Jack Smith indicted
last month Trump on 37 counts of improperly retaining sensitive intelligence material and lying about having done so to the federal officials.
Special counsel Robert Herr has yet to announce charges in his probe.
Here's what the American people know and believe about the FBI, sir, Hunt told Wray.
If you are a Trump, you'll be prosecuted.
If you're a Biden, you will be protected.
You know, I fucking hate the way you make me fucking ride you.
Now get the fuck out of here.
Why couldn't he say that?
I obviously disagree with the description of the two standards, Ray replied.
In my view, at least under my watch, we have one standard, and that is we're going to pursue the facts wherever they lead, no matter who likes it.
And I add the last part because especially in sensitive investigations, almost by definition, somebody's not going to like it.
Hunt pointed out that some critics have seized on Trump's indictment as proof of the notion that no one is above the law,
but remain silent about former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's retention
of classified material on a private email server.
What about Hillary Clinton, he said, the thick-ankled dog face?
And what about Joe Biden, grumpy with a poop in his pants?
And what about Hunter Biden, who's America's favorite son, he said?
Let me tell you something.
I got a four-year-old daughter and two-year-old daughter at my house.
Hunter Biden, to me, is like a glitter.
He's on everything, and you can't get rid of him.
And yet nothing is going to be done about this.
I don't know nothing about that.
Yeah, sure you don't.
You're lying.
Someone will beat you.
You believe that?
You sit up there and lie?
And Trump appointed him.
Again, I'm sure he got advice by the insiders, right, who were
playing Trump like a violin because he was an outsider.
How is that guy still the head of the...
They gotta get rid of it.
They gotta dismantle it, starting with him.
Give him a spanking, right in public. uh anyways uh in the second half of the show i'll be talking about texas and governor abbott
to come up with a new way to keep uh illegals from crossing the rio grande i don't know why
they didn't think of it a long time ago it's pretty simple and i'll be talking about california
lawmakers proving once again that they're pro-pedophile. It really is sick what they did yesterday.
So exclusively on Mug Club. So join now to get that at nickdipaloshow.com.
Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, t-shirts, hoodies, and more.
It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also
get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the NICCA shirts. Just go to nickdip.com
and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you
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And end a little harder, a little leaner.
You got to eat right, too.
Speaking of
eating right,
make me a sandwich.
Make me a fucking sandwich!
Take it easy, Carmella.
In our Shut Up
and Make Me a Sandwich segment tonight,
salad, anyone?
Who wants a word salad?
Goddamn these eyes.
I'll be blind soon.
AI czar.
Do you realize they put Kamala Harris in charge of something that Elon Musk is scared of?
And some of the smartest people.
We put this dumb twat in charge of this.
And she's doing about the same good job she did on the border.
This broad has been exposed
for the phony that she is.
Only a woman of color
could have faked this way
or sucked away to the top
through law school and everything.
I don't know how she got this far.
She is a dope
and she just tries to sound and sound intelligent. It's really embarrassing.
A.I. czar, I can't believe that. Well, she is artificially intelligent, and Vice President
Kamala Harris was ridiculed on social media, that's something new, what's it a Tuesday,
for her stunning description of artificial intelligence on Wednesday. It is ironic that she can't,
she's so unintelligent, she can't define artificial intelligence. In the latest example
of Harris word salad moments, the vice president spoke at the eisenhower executive office building i don't know how she
found it uh in washington dc and gave what people saw as a condescending and long-winded description
of uh ai you know you're a fucking mumbling stuttering little fuck you know that uh let's
take a listen to that i she reminds me of Marianne Williamson,
that broad that runs for president every year,
who's kind of a hippie, and she writes books and just rambles.
Oh, it's about love and fucking the planets aligning.
It's about blowing people to the top.
Let's listen to Dum Dum.
And I think the first part of this issue that should be articulated is AI is kind of a
fancy thing. It's first of all, it's two letters. It means artificial intelligence, but ultimately
what it is, it's about machine learning. And so the machine is taught. Pause. I remember Strom
Thurmond, they were questioning some democrat in a hearing
and he and this was back in the 80s he goes talk into the machine
but again he was 98 and you know people understood it but the left went nuts
talk into the machine meaning the microphone this dumb bitch's 2023, she's talking about the most complicated
thing on the planet. And she's
referring to it as machine.
Go ahead, Grammy.
Part of the issue here is
what information is going
into the machine
that will then determine
and we can predict then
What are you trying to get a coke?
What information is going in?
What then will be produced in terms of decisions and opinions that may be made through that process?
Don't say a fucking word to me. I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head.
Don't say a fucking word to me. I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head.
Did you hear what she just said?
You know, it's bad when people who are listening go,
translator, and you speak the same native language.
I watched it about three times.
Almost broke my ribs.
She has been exposed.
Do you realize even people who vote Democrat hate this brother?
First woman of color.
I'm blacker than she is.
Are you kidding?
So to reduce it down, this is her talking, to its most simple point, this is part of the issue that we have here is thinking about what is going into a decision. She sounds like me taking an essay test in seventh grade.
The Spanish War had a lot of Spanish people in it.
They had guns and stuff.
People got hurt.
Anyways, and then she says,
and then whether that decision is actually legitimate
and reflective of the needs and the life experiences of all the people, Carmella concluded.
Oh, God, help us.
Uh-oh, retard alert.
Oh, God.
Retard alert.
Kamala Harris talks to Americans like we are all in kindergarten.
Here she explained AI outkick founder Clay Travis.
That's what Clay Travis tweeted.
A heartbeat.
He tweeted, a heartbeat away, Fox News contributor Miranda Devine wrote.
National mouth editor Tim Young wrote,
Kamala Harris sounds like she had, yes, a report on AI,
but absolutely didn't read the book.
It's absolutely impossible to believe that this person,
oh my God, this guy, this same guy,
made it through law school.
Again, she probably slept away to the thought.
Like she did with the guy, the black dude.
Well, he brought it, San Francisco.
Was able to pass the bar and was the AG of the state.
And let me tell you, you can't, well, apparently you can be.
I was going to say you can't be a dummy and pass the bar.
JFK Jr. took it three times.
I remember that was the talk of the time when I was living in the...
And then they just said, fuck it, he's a Kennedy.
Can't embarrass this guy.
He's getting more pussy than Jeter.
That was a quote from Bill Clinton.
I love that pussy.
I love it.
How is she?
Where is she?
She's a heartbeat away.
You better pray. You know, we better pray Biden just makes it through. Let's say he passes away tomorrow in his sleep. Say hello to retard.
Not even a good salad.
Jamaican salad. Who eats that?
Jamaican Canadian salad.
What, do you put maple syrup on the dressing?
Goodness gracious Eloise.
Hey, for those of you guys on Mug Club,
stick around for the second half of the show.
Everyone else go to nickdopalashow.com and join to get the rest of my show,
the full show,
and Steven Crowder's show, and a whole lot more.
And while you're on my website, you can click on the tour button,
see where I will be.
That's tomorrow.
I was pointing at that a while ago, and that's a long time from now.
That's tomorrow and this Saturday night.
I will see you guys, Arlington Cinema Draft House, Arlington, Virginia.
All right?
All right. guitar solo Outro Music