The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 15 (Catie Wilkins)

Episode Date: December 20, 2020

"Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 15 (Catie Wilkins)" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 100 of 128....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Right. You might not be able to hear that laughing because it's not very loud. Yeah. Because we are backstage at Richard Stupid Herring's stupid podcast that he does, which nobody likes. And if anyone downloads it, then we will find you and kill you. But what we have decided to do... Oh, he's made a mistake, Richard Herring, because he has left his wife backstage.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Stupid Richard Herring leaving his wife backstage for the boys to get an old off. Yeah, exactly. Why can't people look after their property? So we're here with his wife now, right? And we're going to try and get her to come on our podcast, right? Yeah. And she is not just a wife. Yeah, probably does a cleaner.
Starting point is 00:00:38 And a cook. And sexing. Yeah, or sexing. Katie, right, so... First question, who is Ansemist? Me and Ed put together, or your husband? and sexing so hello Katie right so and first question who is answer missed me and Ed put together
Starting point is 00:00:48 or your husband you guys thank you will you come round our flat in a bit and do a podcast with just us and no Richard
Starting point is 00:00:57 yeah because Katie is a proper funny comedian as well and funnier than Richard definitely so Katie is going to come over and do a proper interview.
Starting point is 00:01:06 Shut up, Richard. We're trying to record. Richard, will you shut up? We're doing a podcast. What's wrong with him? Right, okay. So that is a little teaser trailer for what's to come, right?
Starting point is 00:01:15 That is a very, very special guest and my favourite comedian. Yeah. So, Adam, we've got to go on in a minute, haven't we? And also, within the request,
Starting point is 00:01:23 it is tacit that you do sex with us. Thank you. Okay, bye. haven't we and also within the request it is tacit that you do sex with us thank you bye Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble Cause it's not Ed, Peacock and it's not Ed, Gamble really is Ray, Peacock and it is Ed Gamble Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, here they are And as arranged, that will be happening today Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast. Yeah. I am Ray Peacock. Hello. Hello, I'm Ed Gamble. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:02:08 Well, just that one there. Katie. Katie's coming on. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Straight in with that. It's just that wasn't just then in real life. I hate to give the game away. No, but it was recorded before. That wasn't just then. That was recorded before and this is now and that wasn't now. Yeah, so we've already done half the intro without even being here. I know. This is exciting, isn't it? It's very exciting. Speaking of exciting, what famouses have you seen in the Edinburgh Fringe so far? Right, Matthew Kelly. Same, snap. I saw him as well. He was on his phone in the rain. Seen him, right. Jim Broadbent. When did you see Jim Broadbent? I didn't. I thought I didn't when I went up Wright-Clyde. It wasn't.
Starting point is 00:02:45 Right. What? Is it this year? It's got to be this year, yeah. Because if it's not, I saw Ronnie Corbett one year.
Starting point is 00:02:50 Right, well I saw Sean Connery one year. Shut your mouth. What about? On the Royal Mile, he walked past us when we were flyering, right?
Starting point is 00:02:56 Yeah. Couldn't believe it. Tried to flyer him, right, and he went, sorry, I've got to get on a plane. Wow, he had a plane on the Royal Mile.
Starting point is 00:03:03 It was, and then he walked off, and then we, and then Nish went, I can't believe we just saw Roger Moore. And just a bit, he'd gone, he'd gone far because he can, he's got a license to kill Nish. Stupid Nish. Yeah. Stuart Lee, I saw yesterday.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Does he count as famous? Yeah, definitely, mate. I saw him in a record shop, right? Right. And I know that you're sad, I know you're going, yeah, bet you did. Yeah. Yeah, bet a little independent
Starting point is 00:03:25 record chop yeah yeah vinyl yeah searching out all the old shit all the indie shit
Starting point is 00:03:30 no HMV boo Stuart Lee and HMV yeah right can't believe that's ridiculous
Starting point is 00:03:36 what was he doing in there just walking around bringing it down from the inside yeah I went
Starting point is 00:03:41 right behind him and I put my arm around him and I went what are you criticising now and then he turned
Starting point is 00:03:47 around and we had a chat for a bit and then at the end of the chat he went I wasn't criticising anything I went no no I was just doing it
Starting point is 00:03:54 as a joke about you he went no I was just looking at this the Clash and I went oh yeah he went yeah it's the Clash Deluxe Edition
Starting point is 00:04:00 and I remember when this came out and he used to say oh don't pay any more than this keep it indie and keep it all that and now you know 30 years later it's a Deluxe Edition and I remember when this came out and they used to say oh don't pay any more than this keep it Indian keep it all that and now you know 30 years later
Starting point is 00:04:07 it's in Deluxe Edition and I went oh right and then they went still we'll get it though so he sort of was complaining about something he was having a bit of a whine about it
Starting point is 00:04:15 yeah exactly exactly mate but he's not do you know what I mean I think a lot of it's for show you know yeah I think he gives
Starting point is 00:04:21 a lot of it off he gives a lot of it off deliberately to try and make himself a bit more... Like a persona, innit? Yeah. He talks about all his comics and that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:29 He's all like, he's into comics. Yeah. I reckon he just reads The Beano and that's it. And Dandy. Yeah, The Dandy, which is unfortunately folding. Yeah. Yeah, about that. Depends how small a space you've got to get into, doesn't it?
Starting point is 00:04:38 No, but that's how you read it. They fold it in half. Yeah, no, yeah, yeah. Yeah, read this comic. Yeah. No, it's gone, The Dandy, apparently. And I've seen lots of people today on Twitter, they're saying, oh, it's horrible, The Dandy's going blah, blah, no, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's coming. I know it's gone, the dandy, apparently. And I've seen lots of people today on Twitter,
Starting point is 00:04:46 they're saying, oh, it's horrible, the dandy's going, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I bet not one of them has bought it in two years. No, exactly, exactly. You can't complain
Starting point is 00:04:54 about the dandy going under when you don't buy the dandy. Yeah. When you hadn't even thought about the dandy. And you can't complain that kids aren't reading the dandy,
Starting point is 00:05:03 because they've got other things. Yeah. You know, they can't, they go aren't reading The Dandy, because they've got other things. Yeah. You know, they go, oh, when you were kids, the cave paintings all got washed off the wall, no one was reading them. Oh, it's so sad now. They no longer hardly sell them things on a string,
Starting point is 00:05:17 where you get the ball back in the cup. Yeah, exactly. Different generations have different things. That's how progress happens. Yeah, so they're on their PS3s. Oh, but they're not going out anymore
Starting point is 00:05:26 good so don't want to get them to get paedophile yeah paedophile yeah that makes it sound wackier
Starting point is 00:05:32 than I think you've just been paedophile that would be a good way of finishing one off wouldn't it what
Starting point is 00:05:37 if they were doing that I think people would have more tolerance for paedophiles yeah if they did
Starting point is 00:05:41 like add a bit of wackiness like see they're probably paedophilic it's so seedy isn't it and underground yeah well as if paedophiles were they did like add a bit of wackiness like see the problem with paedophilia it's so seedy isn't it and underground yeah
Starting point is 00:05:47 whereas if paedophiles were just a bit of fun yeah like they were in the 70s right just you know one of the scout leaders yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:05:55 one of the church people and everyone knew they went don't look nod to him in the street if you're an adult yeah but don't send your kids
Starting point is 00:06:01 in here by themselves yeah don't let them be alone at a scout camp because that thing happened that other year. What's that? Pedophile theme tune.
Starting point is 00:06:12 Oh, nice one, yeah. But you're going, you know, what arm are they doing really if they are a playful character? Yeah, exactly, yeah. It's more when they're
Starting point is 00:06:21 very seedy and they're very, you know, very like, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I will kiss a baby. Maybe make them work. Yeah, they do say that. That's when it's horrible when they're very seedy and they're very like I will kiss a baby maybe make them wear they do say that
Starting point is 00:06:28 maybe make them wear a clown wig all the time so we can pick them out and then they'll be slightly wackier and a bit less threatening maybe sew a clown wig under their skin under their pedo skull under their dirty pedo skull
Starting point is 00:06:44 and then we'll be able to tell them all the time and they'll be less threatening Under their skin. Under their pedo skull. Under their dirty pedo skull, right? And then we will be able to tell them all the time and they will be less threatening. Yeah. What mum or dad would be able to stay angry if they came home to the babysitter, right? Yeah. Who they found just fiddling about a bit. Oh, no. Right? What mum or dad would be able to stay angry if that dem pedo turned around and went,
Starting point is 00:07:02 Oh, I've done it again. And then played his theme tune. And then laughed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd be like, yeah, yeah. Now come on. Exactly, come on you. You've got to stop doing that.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Yeah, exactly. Because that has become against the law now. Exactly. Not like in the 70s when you were allowed. Yeah. I'm not saying that was a good thing in the 70s. I don't think it was. I think some good things were good in the 70s,
Starting point is 00:07:19 like Spangles. Yeah, what happened to Spangles? And Garlic Bread. And Garlic Bread. Yeah. And White Dog Poos and Fun Pee-Dohs. Yeah, one happened to Spangles? And garlic bread. And garlic bread. Yeah. And white dog poos and fun pedos. Yeah, one was a snick as a marathon. So, our guest today is Katie Wilkins.
Starting point is 00:07:32 Now, during the edit of Katie's interview, she went old-darlicky. Yeah. Her voice went old-darlicky in one little block of it. It's when she was promoting her book. Now, interestingly, as you heard already, Katie has been rehypnalled by Richard Herring. Yeah, intermarrying. She's got an IV rehypnol
Starting point is 00:07:49 that he has put on her arm somehow and she can't find it, but it's there somewhere and he's fooling her into living in the same house as him. Well, if you watch the wedding video back, she stood at a drip for the whole thing
Starting point is 00:08:00 and she's actually being held up by Andy Zaltzman. Yeah. She's crying for a bit and because she's actually being held up by Andy Zaltzman yeah and she's crying for a bit yeah and then she just starts being really deliriously happy yeah
Starting point is 00:08:10 and when and when Richard does like I do or whatever for him right and then they say oh do you take this man
Starting point is 00:08:16 right and then you hear I do but if you listen really clearly it's clearly Richard doing it on the side of his mouth
Starting point is 00:08:22 yeah all set up by Simon Street in the techie. Yeah, exactly. All the mics all weird, don't they? So what I wanted to do was, because Katie was at my request in the interview
Starting point is 00:08:33 plugging her book. Yeah. And that's where it went dalek-y. Hey, do you think, that's a weird thing, isn't it? Because Richard's podcast keeps going dalek-y. Yeah. I mean, it's even more unlistenable to. Yeah, it's ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:08:43 Than it is when it's recorded properly. Yeah. But maybe Katie is the issue. Maybe. Maybe the chip that he's put in her. To control her. That interferes with audio equipment. That's what's happened.
Starting point is 00:08:52 That must be it. That must be it. So, you've been hoisted by your own tuppence. Richard Herring. Hoisted by your own tuppence. What is that word? Retard. Petard, no.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Richard, you've been hoisted by your own retard. Mate, he doesn't own them. He's just nice to them. Oh, yeah, no. He doesn you've been hoisted by your own retard. Mate, he doesn't own them, he's just nice to them. Oh yeah, no, he doesn't like when you say things like that. Sorry about that,
Starting point is 00:09:09 Richard. Yeah, so that's knackered his own podcast. Yeah, yeah. Ha, ha, ha, gutted mate. Ha, gutted mate.
Starting point is 00:09:15 Oh, you reap what you sowed. So I wanted to plug Katie's book, which is My Best Friend and Other Enemies. It's out in September.
Starting point is 00:09:21 Yeah. Order it on Amazon, please, thank you, or order it from somewhere. Yeah. Just get it. It's nice to be supportive of people, isn, please, thank you, or order it from somewhere. Just get it. It's nice to be supportive of people, isn't it, when they have managed to get a book out.
Starting point is 00:09:29 And they've had to marry someone. And they've had to marry someone. If you're essentially in an abusive relationship. So, come on. Let's put some money back in the pot, and then hopefully there'll be a nice fund for when it does all break down. So we'll have the interview with Katie now.
Starting point is 00:09:45 Our first lady on the podcast, but we do discuss that now. The first lady of the podcast. The first lady of the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast. Here she is, Katie Wilkins. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. What a nice sleep. Good morning, Ed. Good morning, mate.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Oh, dear, I'm on the side of the bed. Oh, there we go. How lovely to be in the bed with you, as always, Ed. Oh, it is nice to wake up. I've been awake for ages reading the Sunday papers. Oh, there we go. I love being in the bed with you, as always. Oh, it is nice to wake up. I've been awake for ages reading the Sunday papers. Oh, yeah, lovely. Thank you. I have a nice sleep.
Starting point is 00:10:10 You're very warm next to me there, aren't you? Yeah. That isn't you. Hang on, what? What is that? It's touching my leg. Oh, my goodness. There is, I think it's Goldilocks.
Starting point is 00:10:22 There is a lady in our bed. Oh, hello there, lady. Hello, lady. What is your name? Oh, hello. Right, that should work, shouldn't it? Yeah, that should work. Hello, Katie.
Starting point is 00:10:33 Hello. How are you today? I'm all right. How are you? I'm all right. I'm a bit tired today. Listen to Katie properly. Normally, at the beginning of the interview,
Starting point is 00:10:39 you say, we're here with, and then give the full name. Oh, there's a bird in the bed. Hello, Katie. And you're the first girl we've had on. Really? Yeah, genuinely. And it's not for want of trying, but girls won't speak to us.
Starting point is 00:10:53 They won't. They won't speak to us in Edinburgh. I think they're worried that if they come up here that the sexuality will just be too potent. Yeah. Just because it's, I don't know, as you walked in you probably saw there's just like a thug of just sexuality yeah maybe that's what it is
Starting point is 00:11:06 maybe they're worried that we will in the first minute of the podcast reduce them to just their gender possibly by starting off saying oh
Starting point is 00:11:15 there's a girl here now we must be in bed with her how are you Katie yeah I'm good are you having a nice time at the Fringe
Starting point is 00:11:22 I am yes I am are you tired yet yeah are you really yeah a bit yeah how many shows are you, Katie? Yeah, I'm good. Are you having a nice time at the Fringe? I am, yes, I am. Are you tired yet? Yeah. Are you really? Yeah, a bit, yeah. How many shows are you doing? I'm only doing one.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Well, I'm doing loads of extra gigs at the moment. Yeah. I'm only doing one show. One official one? Yeah. But you are out and about? I'm out and about. Yeah, that's where we must have picked her up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:40 That's the end of that. That's the end of that now. I'm finding it's ruining me. And extra gigs as well. Before Edinburgh, I booked all these extra gigs and thinking, yeah, it'd be great. I'll get into a real work mode. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Oh, I'll be like a machine. I'm not. Well, I'm like a machine, but just not a Blamonge machine. A Blamonge machine that's got overly clogged up with Blamonge. Yeah, and all the wires are hanging out of that. Is it working properly at all? Yeah. So yeah, it's knackering me.
Starting point is 00:12:04 But you're doing lots of gigs yeah well I ended up doing one like quite late last night yeah like at midnight but it meant like
Starting point is 00:12:11 I finished it which isn't really that late on Edinburgh time it's not really is it are you on Edinburgh time because I don't think Ed is no no I'm not I'm not really
Starting point is 00:12:18 I get up at a fairly decent time and only because I'm in such a routine at home that I've stuck to it here yeah but I am going to bed later so I'm a little bit sort of, not much later really, later
Starting point is 00:12:28 than I do at home. But I know we come home right, all happy and that, yeah brilliant. Then I sit down to do the editing and it'd be really lovely to do the editing with Ed just across the table. You hate that, you hate when someone just looks at you. Having some hot chocolate maybe, which is a nice relax and he goes, oh I'm going to go to bed now and I'm like, Ed, it's only half eleven. It's only half eleven, is it, when I go to bed? Yeah, yeah. No, ten, half ten.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Half ten when we finish our show at ten forty. I know, that's why the last ten minutes is getting bad reviews. Because I go home to bed. Oh, no, no, better reviews. The last ten minutes is getting better reviews. Oh, right, yeah. That's all just me. Yeah, you forgot.
Starting point is 00:13:03 Just me at the end there, didn't you? So, are you on Edinburgh Time? Well, I think I might have just. Oh, right, yeah. That's all just me. You forgot. Just me at the end there, didn't you? So are you on Edinburgh time? Well, I think I might have just transferred today, actually. Okay. Because this is the longest I've slept. What time did you get up? Well, only like 11, maybe half 11. But every other day I'd be up at 9.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Yeah, I've been getting up. What's wrong with you? Between 9 and 10. And do you do that at home normally as well? Well, yeah, like somewhere between 8 and 9. Are you like really regimented in terms of, are you strict with yourself? Um, it's not, it's, Rich gets up at that time. Rich.
Starting point is 00:13:31 What's a Rich? But he, when he gets up, right, he makes breakfast. If I want a free breakfast, I have to get up at eight. He gets up and makes breakfast? Yeah. Ooh, ooh, somebody is the woman of the house. Ooh, somebody gets up and of the house. Ooh, somebody gets up
Starting point is 00:13:46 and makes the breakfast in his frock. You have married a man and we're not going to talk about him, but isn't it
Starting point is 00:13:54 interesting what he looks like? Because he's, what, five, six, something like that?
Starting point is 00:14:01 Yeah. Like me? 29 inches head length, just like me. Oh, what is his hair like? 29 inches head leg just like me yeah oh what is his hair like
Starting point is 00:14:07 a bit long just like me and with a beard just like me exactly the same measurements oh depth
Starting point is 00:14:13 you must think that is very attractive I do that's how I get off that's how you get off
Starting point is 00:14:21 you just put a picture of me over his face are you not disappointed that you've ended up with someone looking like me that's how you get off he just put a picture of me over his face is it are you not you're not disappointed that you've ended up with someone looking like me
Starting point is 00:14:28 I don't mean me personally but I mean you know when you were like a little girl growing up did you not think oh because you're a tall lady
Starting point is 00:14:35 yeah very slim and slender blonde hair and all that like I mean honestly we've got a right belter in our flat today that's why we tied it up and then
Starting point is 00:14:43 I wiped the table before you got it wiped the table down before you got it Katie's not going to put her elbow in these crumbs
Starting point is 00:14:49 has he prepped you to come to this interview no tell the truth has he told you to stand your
Starting point is 00:14:56 ground or not he said have fun did he yeah I don't believe you there's no way
Starting point is 00:15:01 he's not said right you defend me because we were having a chat on twitter the other day and he butted
Starting point is 00:15:04 him me and Katie were having a chat on Twitter the other day and he butted him me and Katie were having a lovely chat on Twitter just a nice chat about him not to him and he's straight
Starting point is 00:15:12 and giving it I am following you both on Twitter this is a private conversation what people fail to realise is that if you have a conversation
Starting point is 00:15:19 in public on Twitter it is still private and if it is about you just ignore it. And also, another thing for our fans, if me and Ed are having a joke conversation with each other, then we are doing the jokes.
Starting point is 00:15:32 Don't worry about it, you don't have to chip in any jokes at all because we are doing the jokes already. We've got it covered, thank you. About Edinburgh timings, I've decided that when I'm doing late night gigs, I've started to resent the people who are there because I don't think anyone should be up that late. So I've started to hate them.
Starting point is 00:15:48 The other night at a gig, I went, well, are we all having a good time? Let's be honest, we should all be at home in bed. Yeah, yeah. Just slightly angry with them for still being up. If they weren't still up, I could be at home asleep. Did you get rowdy gigs? Yeah, well, last night was quite rowdy, actually. Where was it last night?
Starting point is 00:16:02 It was Eleanor Conway's gig. She's like a boxing thing. Yeah, I've done her thing. Have you done it? I've done her thing in London. No, was this the one that you said, they asked us quite rowdy, actually. Where was it last night? It was Eleanor Conway's gig. She's like a boxing thing. Have you done it? I've done her thing in London. Now, was this the one that you said, they asked us to do it, and before I could even reply on the email, Ed had replied,
Starting point is 00:16:13 I've done that gig before, absolutely not. Was that that one? Yeah, it was horrible. Yeah, okay. It was horrible. It was just a horrible audience. She, you know, whips them up into it anyway. But there was a woman who just stumbled to the front
Starting point is 00:16:25 and then just spread her legs when I was on and then got a party popper and set it off right in my face. No way. Palmer would have dictated that she got the party popper the wrong way round. Yeah. And then she popped it. It went straight up the front. Straight up the front.
Starting point is 00:16:39 And then she had a little party popper baby that she had to look after and couldn't even get proper benefits because it wasn't recognised as a natural disability. Streamers for legs isn't a disability. You want to have a party popper baby. Ideally.
Starting point is 00:16:51 It'd be a quick and impressive labour. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, over very fast. Yeah. So what happened again?
Starting point is 00:16:58 Well, it was just like, it wasn't that full and then it's got quite a leery kind of atmosphere. The audience had to fill in questionnaires
Starting point is 00:17:05 like what's the stupidest thing they've done and somebody had filled in someone else's questionnaire and so he had to do a forfeit because he lied on the questionnaire so they sent him out to get one more audience member into the show and he came back with about six really drunk people and then they all filed in you know it's just got to that point like right this isn't a gig now this isn't a gig but actually it was still alright but it was just a bit like the gong show if you say to yourself
Starting point is 00:17:28 well this isn't a gig now you can still enjoy it whereas if you're like right I hope they listen you're not going to have fun but if you're like well then it's sort of fine again
Starting point is 00:17:35 but you have that thing of an actual where you resign your comedy like before you go on you're like well this is pointless as comedy so I'm going to go on here
Starting point is 00:17:43 and make myself an anecdote for tomorrow and a lot of my kids are approached that way just going right i'm gonna just get through this so i can tell this story tomorrow night yeah and also i think the other thing interesting thing about the edinburgh is because they start so late so you're like going on stage at one in the morning or you know if you're an act as a compa particularly you can't be going what's your job what did you do what did you do because they
Starting point is 00:18:06 haven't got no jobs because by definition they're there it's Wednesday it's four o'clock in the morning you're in your
Starting point is 00:18:12 shit face you have no job not anymore the most common answer is fuck all yeah
Starting point is 00:18:17 fuck all yeah the entire front row we're all fuck all apart from one bloke who just got out of prison
Starting point is 00:18:22 six weeks ago it's not really a job is it no well I've just got out of prison six weeks ago. It's not really a job, is it? No, well, I've just got out of prison six weeks ago, off the drugs now, so hopefully I'll get a job soon. I'm like, brilliant, here's your first act. Didn't you get a proctologist the other night? Yeah, there was a proctologist.
Starting point is 00:18:38 It was everyone unemployed and then an American proctologist in his 60s. But I guess he was an oldie then, eh? Yeah, and he had all the jokes prepped already. Did he? I was asking about it and he was like, I'm just in town
Starting point is 00:18:48 to look up some old friends. Nice, nice. Which kind of meant I couldn't get anything good out of it. I just went, bum doctor!
Starting point is 00:18:58 You touch a bum. Yeah. You touch a bum of a stranger. So the other reason I was asking you as well Katie about how regimented you are regimented is the wrong word what word am I looking for
Starting point is 00:19:11 schedule no genuinely this is horrific what's the fucking word this is an interesting insight into how gone I am yeah I can't even think of words
Starting point is 00:19:20 like someone who gets up in the morning and goes right I will get up at 8 and then I will go to the office and do work just a light light, light life. Yeah, no, but you are. Normal life. No, but no, you are. Organised. No, that's an ear. No, you are. Discipline. Right. Discipline. There we go. There we go. Right. Imagine forgetting the word discipline. Right. Katie. Don't do that. I'm'm gonna cut all of that out i want people to hear all of that
Starting point is 00:19:47 katie it's like catchphrase uh katie the reason i was asking you before about sort of how disciplined you are regimented in your life and that was because i think you have got to be that if you are doing a book and you have done a book oh yeah when is that out september the 6th and was that, were you already very disciplined? I need to feel like I'm not being punished in order to be able to relax and do it. Yeah. A bit, I think. I have that, I have that thing where I arrived in Edinburgh with a whiteboard because I knew
Starting point is 00:20:17 how busy I was going to be. Yeah. Literally made a month with the whiteboard. Yeah. Wrote everything down I had to do, everything all day. I was like, God, this is so full. Took a photo of it. I was like, this is ridiculous. And I hadn't even put our show on that whiteboard, wrote everything down I had to do, every single day I was like, God, this is so full. Took a photo of it, I was like, this is ridiculous. And I hadn't even put our show on that whiteboard. That's just assumed I'm doing that every day. It's completely
Starting point is 00:20:31 full. I'll show it to you later when we go back in the bedroom. Well, it should be assumed that we're doing that every day. I genuinely worry about the state of your brain if you go, and then what are we doing at 9.40? Well, then I did all that, and then I went, brilliant. And that felt like an achievement, and then I slept for five hours. It did, I felt like that and then I went brilliant and that felt like an achievement and then I slept for five hours it did I felt like that was
Starting point is 00:20:49 one of the things I had to do it was that was on the to-do list yeah and then there's nothing more satisfying than making
Starting point is 00:20:55 a to-do list and ticking stuff off of it yeah I don't tick things off but I cross them out in big days yeah that's the same as ticking it off
Starting point is 00:21:01 cross it out have you stuck to this timetable yeah totally really yeah it's all stuff like we've off cross it out have you stuck to this timetable yeah totally really yeah it's all stuff we've had to do
Starting point is 00:21:08 but I don't tick them off as things I literally just at the end of the day go did I do everything yes and just cross it out yeah
Starting point is 00:21:13 as a day and Ed uses it as well for guests and things yeah I get a go on the planner and all yeah he just comes in and goes
Starting point is 00:21:21 I couldn't get out of it mate we're interviewing Silky and then he'll just and then he'll just write that down that was Silky if you're listening that was clearly a joke and we're looking forward to your interview Silky
Starting point is 00:21:32 when you come over at 11.30am is he really? oh he's shown in the afternoon yeah yeah yeah that's right Silky I only said Silky
Starting point is 00:21:40 because that was the last person we wrote on the board I can't remember any other guests I can't even remember Thingy's name who we're interviewing now. Pre-Cooking Gamble, Pre-Cooking Gamble. I think that getting published is one of the biggest deals for any artist, I think, genuinely. So getting published, I think, is fantastic and I think you should be very proud of your book. So I would like you to take this opportunity to plug your book to the four people listening.
Starting point is 00:22:02 you to take this opportunity to plug your book to the four people listening. It's called My Best Friend and Other Enemies, and it's for 8 to 12 year olds, and it's funny, and it's about bullying. But, is it, could a nab or read it as well? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, say it off. Don't say it's for 8 to 12 year olds, like that's the law. I don't think, say it's for everyone, and when they buy it and they go, this is for eight to twelve year olds, then just don't pick up the phone.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Yeah, just run away really, we're passing all the money. It's about bullying. Yeah. Were you bullied? Well, yeah. But like, in a normal, everyone's bullied. Not me, mate. You are, mate.
Starting point is 00:22:37 Mate, you are, mate. You're just not clever enough. Not really, mate. I was cock of arse girl, mate. I was cock of arse girl, mate. Yeah, everyone. Then that's why everyone called you, wasn't it? Yeah. That's bullying. everyone called you wasn't it?
Starting point is 00:22:46 That's bullying. That means you can fight anyone. He'd say look there's Ray the cock. Ray's the cock at this school he used to say. And I know that meant that they thought I could fight everyone. And they made you king didn't they? Not with a crown at his school. They took all his clothes when he went swimming. And then they had to walk around naked for the rest of the day.
Starting point is 00:23:07 And they were all going, look at the cock of the school, the cock of the school. And he was like, thanks. But I had a special outfit on that only clever people could see. And I walked around as the king. I mean, some people call me the emperor. And they used to literally walk around the school being a cock. Right, dumb cock of the school with blonde Katie's book. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:22 Right, dumb cock at a school with blonde Katie's book. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. So the first time I met you was at Jamie Oliver's Food Festival. Oh, yeah. Which was that gig. That's what we put in pre-Edinburgh interviews, as what's your worst gig or gig nightmare. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:23:39 Yeah. Not because we met you. It wasn't the worst gig. It was just ridiculous. It was the stupidest. It was a bad set up. In fact, that was the one, speaking of Richard there, that was the one where we met you. It wasn't the worst. But it wasn't the worst gig. It was just ridiculous. It was the stupidest. It was a bad set up. In fact, that was the one. Speaking of Richard, that was the one
Starting point is 00:23:48 where we were backstage. So I don't think I had even probably, I think we were just sort of half chatting to each other because I knew you were there with Rich.
Starting point is 00:23:54 Yeah. And they came over because Richard had said, he said something very tame on stage. And they came over and said, he's got to come off.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Yeah. He's got to come off. This is too rude. And it was like, I think he said dick. I think it was like something as tame as that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:06 And they were going to walk on and just and you stopped him and I said right you're not doing it but if that's what it has to be I'll go on then yeah yeah yeah so then at least
Starting point is 00:24:14 we can dick about and make it at least we can fucking cock about then yeah I'm sure we mentioned this a while ago on the old podcast
Starting point is 00:24:21 but it was the just to give you an idea of the scenario it was a main stage at a festival and I i was on stage the proper the proper main stage yeah proper main stage like huge main stage they've just opened the gates just to give everyone an idea of what the perfect time to stand up comedy i always remember my stage time 11 40 a.m um so there were about five people in the festival compound yeah about a mile and a half away and i had to call them forward one by one and banter with them.
Starting point is 00:24:46 With their kids. Oh yeah obviously. With their kids having their kibbeh. But then Ed's gig got even better because his busy mate saved me the day.
Starting point is 00:24:53 You arrived just came on with me didn't you? Just literally arrived at the gig, looked out and saw you there and thought I
Starting point is 00:24:58 can't leave him there. That's not fair and I did honestly because I didn't even stop walking. I saw you and just carried on walking
Starting point is 00:25:06 and walked straight into the middle of the stage and went what are you doing no one even looked there no not at all no what are you doing mate what's going on
Starting point is 00:25:13 just doing a concert yeah that's nice going on and then Richard went on did his monologue and then I went on and at that point we'd all written it off
Starting point is 00:25:22 as a gig yeah and you were some battle of hell some battle of hell and that was one of my favourite things it off as a gig. Yeah. Some Bat Out of Hell. Some Bat Out of Hell. And that was one of my favourite things that happened that whole day, was when you were doing Bat Out of Hell to, like, disinterested children. It wasn't disinterested.
Starting point is 00:25:32 They were loving it, mate. They were throwing toilet rolls that they'd used. And then you did this bit, like, so you were really enjoying Bat Out of Hell. You then skidded forward on your knees and went, 9.40, Pleasant Stone. Pick, hook and gamble. Pick, hook and gamble. out of hell you then skidded forward on your knees and went 940 Pleasant Stone and Katie yeah well you started doing this starting questions
Starting point is 00:25:53 to guests as if you're shouting them through from the other room Katie let's give it a show what's your show called please it's called Joy is my middle name is Joy your middle name yeah lovely so trade description straight off yeah Deskivate show what's your show called please it's called Joy
Starting point is 00:26:05 it's my middle name is Joy your middle name yeah lovely so trade the description straight off yeah can't get on you for that
Starting point is 00:26:10 yeah they could technically get on us for our show yeah because I was asking Peacock and Gumball don't even want to be on telly anyway
Starting point is 00:26:16 so they might be able to get us we do but it's sarcastic actually yeah yeah we do but we don't anyway
Starting point is 00:26:22 yeah what's your show about? I know it's a very broad question, but I do mean it. It's about names, and labels, and identities, and how they affect us,
Starting point is 00:26:33 and if that's a positive thing, or a negative thing. Okay. But with jokes, obviously, that doesn't sound, sugar joking, definitely.
Starting point is 00:26:40 How would you entice, how would you entice someone into your show? Because you've already said, Joy's your middle name, so we know that. That spoiler is out there now. So no one's going, well? Because you've already said Joy's your middle name. Yeah. So we know that. That spoiler is out there now. So no one's going, well, we should go and find out
Starting point is 00:26:48 what her middle name is. You should have called it What is my middle name? Who is Nish Kumar? Yeah. I've missed a trick. Yeah. And we know your other two names
Starting point is 00:26:57 because they're on the poster. Yeah. So we know all your names now. What's the mystery? What's the mystery? I answer the question whether they are harmful or helpful labels yeah okay what do you say i can't tell you that's how you do it
Starting point is 00:27:12 that's exactly how you do it is it your first one it's my second one oh you cause yeah you did last year didn't you yeah and uh how do you think you do you think you've developed over the year or do you think you're you found what you want to be and you're sticking to that? I think this is a better show than last year. I talk quite a bit about feminism but in a fun way.
Starting point is 00:27:32 I've got feminist your mama jokes. Oh yeah I saw those because you did those when we did Richard's podcast. Yeah. Yeah they were
Starting point is 00:27:38 great. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Did you think we were funny on it as well? Yeah you were very Thank you. Thank you. There we go. See it's a nice episode today where everyone is complimenting each other. thank you very much you're welcome do you think we were funny on that as well yeah you were very funny thank you thank you
Starting point is 00:27:45 there we go see it's a nice episode today where everyone is complimenting each other I'm really happy with the show but numbers are down on last Edinburgh
Starting point is 00:27:53 okay last year I was in the Wee Koo and I got a lot of walk up right and this year I'm selling the same
Starting point is 00:27:59 like pre-sales but I'm just not getting a walk up okay and so it's where are you this year at the Delii belly at the Calgary underbelly
Starting point is 00:28:08 actually my men will come on here and go I'm having a terrible day no it's not that people are coming that can sometimes work in your favour because then people feel sorry for you but then do you want do you want people to feel sorry for you in your show but at the same time
Starting point is 00:28:25 I think there are also people who are fans of people and who like people who just assume I think honestly at the level that we're at in comedy
Starting point is 00:28:32 there are people that just assume loads of people are going to your show because they see you as a presence on the internet or whatever
Starting point is 00:28:39 and they're like sometimes if people see a nice poster they must be thinking well because someone's drawn that poster for them but you know
Starting point is 00:28:47 they probably think that we're all millionaires I don't know you know mate do you think people will probably look at us and go
Starting point is 00:28:53 if they were millionaires they could probably get a new t-shirt and a little shave no but I no but I think do you remember
Starting point is 00:28:59 in the old podcast ages ago we talked about my car my old car which was a convertible and I remember people online speculating about what car and my old car which was a convertible and I remember people
Starting point is 00:29:05 online speculating about what car it was and they were like saying 170 grand cars and I was like what? I've never seen that sort of money
Starting point is 00:29:13 why would I want a car like that? Absolutely not far, far lower down but let's be honest the sort of people who were discussing what car they imagined
Starting point is 00:29:20 you were driving are probably not completely in tune with society why? what's wrong with me? No, why are they spending time going, when I imagine Ray driving around,
Starting point is 00:29:29 this is what I imagine is happening and these are the types of trousers he wears. Yeah, and I think he has got nice trainers as well. Probably them Nike ones with a bubble in it. You know, all right. I've always, and I've been advised against it management-wise and stuff, sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes I've always and I've been advised against it management wise and stuff sometimes not all the time
Starting point is 00:29:45 but sometimes I've always tried to be honest about stuff like when I've talked about I did a blog for one year and I was very very honest in that blog about my Edinburgh experience
Starting point is 00:29:53 and some people go no but you're presenting it as like the downside of it it's like well there is that yeah there genuinely is that and I think if we're portraying it
Starting point is 00:30:02 as coming to Edinburgh and we're making loads of money we're all losing losing so much money yeah and if people don't understand that then you do get that complete miscomprehension of what it actually is yeah because there are comics who are just utterly positive all the time in public and they'll completely they go it's going brilliantly and they go yeah oh you're selling well yeah selling out every night and it's going brilliantly everyone loves it every night so that is definitely notiantly everyone loves it every night that is definitely not true because it can't be true it doesn't go well for everyone all the time
Starting point is 00:30:30 and then it seems bad telling the truth about it that sometimes there aren't as many people in the room like well they don't necessarily go for it but I can't bring myself to lie about it it's like that saying in order to be successful you must portray success at all times like act it till you've got it but it's not it's nonsense because i think that's an outdated
Starting point is 00:30:49 concept i think now in terms of how people like to relate to their quote-unquote celebrities or you know their their what fulfills the entertainment in their life i think people like particularly with the advent of twitter and that sort of thing they like to relate to someone on a much more personal level yeah so they like to relate to someone on a much more personal level. So they like to relate to someone on a, that they will enjoy the highs and the lows with them at the same time. What I'm saying is, if you've got low numbers some nights, you can say that. Yeah. Because everyone has, everyone, you know,
Starting point is 00:31:12 everyone here has got low numbers some nights. Yeah, I know. I think because the lowest I've had was six. I mean, don't say that. Oh, Casey, that makes you sound awful. Oh, no one's going to come now. God, who would want to go and see a show that's only got six people
Starting point is 00:31:27 that must be woeful as a show I tell you what I'm not I was going to go and see that one but it was only six people I mean
Starting point is 00:31:35 even just for how I'm feeling it if I'm sat there if I'm one of six people I'll feel self conscious about it no thank you no thank you
Starting point is 00:31:42 it was actually really fun going with six was one of the most fun once that's happened you're like well this doesn't matter and then it just is so much fun
Starting point is 00:31:48 yeah whereas like I've been doing typically like 12 woo nice but that's actually that's fine
Starting point is 00:31:54 that's actually fine it's alright like that was like last year 12 was the lowest I ever had okay and like
Starting point is 00:31:59 because also the first day I had about like maybe 35 in okay so it felt full and it was really fun high energy they loved everything then the second day I had 12 in and I was like alright we're going to
Starting point is 00:32:08 have a bit of yin and yang at this Edinburgh then it was all yang. But are you happy with your show? I am happy with my show. That's the key thing isn't it really? Yeah. I think that's what we've found no matter what the audiences are or how they react to it or as long as each night we're really enjoying doing our show as long as every night no matter what
Starting point is 00:32:26 the variables that aren't in our control if we just sort of try and put those out of our minds and enjoy the show then I think that's a big thing isn't it really
Starting point is 00:32:32 no definitely as long as those variables don't start to affect the enjoyment of the show which I guess they can if it gets really good because I think
Starting point is 00:32:39 when you're doing a solo show because I've done solo shows and there is a certain regardless of how many people you have around you or regardless of what family you have here or who's visiting you or any of that sort of thing I think when you're doing a solo show, because I've done solo shows, and there is a certain, regardless of how many people you have around you, or regardless of what family you have here,
Starting point is 00:32:47 or who's visiting you, or any of that sort of thing, I think when you're doing a solo show, there is actually a genuine weird loneliness that comes into that. Yeah. Even if you have a support structure. Because there is a point
Starting point is 00:32:57 where you just have to leave that all behind, arrive at your show, venue staff are there, and you get on with them, and your stage manager's there, you get on with them and you know your stage manager's there you get on with them but there is still a weird thing
Starting point is 00:33:08 where you're going it's me it's just me it's just me it's just me I've never done one I was going to do one next year and I think it sounds horrible
Starting point is 00:33:13 but it's like you know it is that thing you know you know you're going to enjoy it when you're out there you know you're going to do what you wanted to do
Starting point is 00:33:20 but it does like when me and you are on stage and we've got me and you there at the same time so regardless of what's happening like when me and you are on stage and we've got me and you there at the same time so regardless of what's happening we're still in our house
Starting point is 00:33:28 on stage which is quite lovely but I think if you're doing a solo show particularly in Adam it's so intense it's such a magnified
Starting point is 00:33:35 emotions and magnified you know it feels like everyone's seeing every review do you know what I mean if you didn't have
Starting point is 00:33:44 a good review if you had a great review you assume everyone's seen the great review everyone's seen every review. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? If you didn't have a good review, if you had a great review, you assume everyone's seen the great review, everyone's seen the shit review. Do you know? Yeah. It's ridiculous. So what we're saying, Kate, is,
Starting point is 00:33:51 do you want us to... Just go home. We're saying go home. Or do you want us to just come and sit on the stage while you do yours, just so you've got some company there on the stage with you? Yeah, bring your house.
Starting point is 00:34:00 But if... We'll bring our whole set with us. We'll bring the set. If you can get a mat or something and a bit of Lego we'll be quite happy we'll just play in the corner it won't be noisy
Starting point is 00:34:10 or anything like that unless Ed takes a bit of my Lego and then it will erupt and then it will properly kick off yeah we should try it
Starting point is 00:34:19 alright we'll do it I would love to do that just on any show one night literally without them knowing. Yeah. Literally just be at the back of the stage
Starting point is 00:34:27 just on my haunches just building Lego. Just watching it. Yeah. Laughing along or just completely concentrating on the Lego? I like, well I like the idea
Starting point is 00:34:36 the mental image I've got of it is me on my front kicking my legs in the air. Right. Making the Lego and them doing a joke and me not looking at it and going
Starting point is 00:34:44 Ha ha! Pickle can gamble. Pickle can gamble. making the Lego and them doing a joke and me not looking at it and going ha ha ha on one past interview we've done quick fire questions we're going to try them again now this is when he goes proper mental he's going to burn himself out now trying to come up with questions
Starting point is 00:34:57 we're going to have to say goodbye to you and I'm going to have to dip his head in a bucket of coal ready for quick fire questions what was the last thing you put in your freezer a Solero
Starting point is 00:35:04 how many apples have you eaten this week? None. How tall are you? Five foot ten I think. How short are you? Five foot ten. How many arms have you got?
Starting point is 00:35:10 Two. How do you know? Because I've seen them. Have you had any work done? No. What, never in your life? I had an eye operation. I don't mean on your body,
Starting point is 00:35:19 I mean your house. Uh, yeah. How many rooms in your house? I don't know. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I don't know. How many laces are in your house? I don't know. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I don't know. How many laces are in the shoes?
Starting point is 00:35:26 I don't know. I can't do them if she just keeps saying she doesn't know. Well, I don't ask stupid questions that no one will know the answer to. How many laces have you got in your shoes? Listen to her first answer. Your first question was, how many pairs of shoes have you got? And she said, I don't know. So how is she going to know how many laces are in those pairs of shoes?
Starting point is 00:35:44 Do you buy cotton wool buds? What? Yeah. What for? For taking off makeup. Nice. What sort of potatoes do you like? Normal potatoes.
Starting point is 00:35:54 How do you like them prepared? Jacket potatoes. How do you don't like them prepared? How do you don't like them prepared? Boiled is rubbish. What if you've got butter on them? That's better. And mashed up?
Starting point is 00:36:03 That's alright. That's mashed potato. Don't worry about it. Is that crisps? Yeah. What's your best flavour? That's better. And mashed up? That's alright. That's mashed potato. Don't worry about it. Is that crisps? Yeah. What's your best flavour? Salt and vinegar. Why?
Starting point is 00:36:08 This is the best one. Have you ever had a Marsberry and a salt and vinegar crisps? In a, and what, at the same time? Yeah. No.
Starting point is 00:36:12 Try it, it works. How proud are you of your book? Quite proud. Very proud. Very proud. Very proud. What's your best job
Starting point is 00:36:20 you've ever done other than the one you're doing now? Developing photos. What was the dirtiest photo you've developed? Oh man, there was loads. There was this gay guy. It's not dirty just because he's gay.
Starting point is 00:36:31 There's these holiday photos from France. Look at him having a faggot dirty gay. Look at him holding hands with another man. Look at him having his gay Christmas. Disgusting. Gay Christmas. Go on, tell us about them. My brother's gay.
Starting point is 00:36:46 It's not that he's gay. There's loads of photos of naked men. So, whoa, go back. Your brother is gay? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:52 I love the gays. So, go on, these dirty photos. It was like loads of naked men all sticking their thumbs up each other's arses. In what?
Starting point is 00:37:02 Like a daisy chain thing? Well, sometimes. Sometimes, just random poses were they smiling well they did like thumbs up put somebody sat on them yeah right okay and we weren't allowed to give them the photos back what do they do in that scenario because now that's all been changed now hasn't it because people could just take photos on their phones yeah yeah this was 10 years ago yeah when you had to have photos developed and there was that rule wasn't there that if they were
Starting point is 00:37:24 yeah considered obscene images but you didn't get to have photos developed and there was that rule wasn't there that if they were obscene yeah considered obscene images but you didn't get the photos back but then what was it a police involvement in that well apparently like because there was like
Starting point is 00:37:32 another time there was like this couple that obviously just decided to experiment just take a couple of nudie pictures and we did give them back yeah
Starting point is 00:37:39 but like they weren't having sex or anything they were just naked at the place that I worked they had this thing where you had to show them the top photo and go, we have the quality,
Starting point is 00:37:46 now you can have the photo. So as a joke, we put the rude one on the top. And then when this girl came back in, everyone ran to the back of the room and the Saturday girl was the slowest, so she had to give the photos. But she just didn't show them,
Starting point is 00:37:59 she just went, they're just photos. They're just photos, dirty boogers. Yeah. But apparently, we had to do that because
Starting point is 00:38:05 there was this it sounded more like an urban legend of like a paedophile being caught because they tried to develop photographs I'm sure that
Starting point is 00:38:12 I bet that would have happened almost certainly yeah and they said it was in another branch and that was one of the reasons we had to check for quality and for paedos
Starting point is 00:38:19 yeah but how would you check for that well you see them when they come out it was the click the 20 minute photography thing so it would all
Starting point is 00:38:26 be out in 20 but when they went through the second machine they'd drop down and you would check that they were okay
Starting point is 00:38:31 but isn't it a weird thing though so as someone who did that this is a great opportunity to ask this
Starting point is 00:38:37 is there an element I'm not suggesting that you are a voyeur in real life but was there an element of that to it
Starting point is 00:38:42 when you were developing people's photos or did you just literally just get on with it? Like Robin Williams. Yeah. What was that?
Starting point is 00:38:48 One hour photo? Which is great for him. He gets obsessed with the family. He's really creepy. Yeah. No, you could easily do that. You've completely got access to everything. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:55 If you wanted to, you could legally make your own copies. You could... Legally? Illegally. Well, you know. Oh, illegally. Yeah, you could just...
Starting point is 00:39:02 But surely that's... Surely everyone's got that now with Facebook. Yeah, no, that's true. That's pretty much the same thing, isn't it? You can look through photos. That's why I came off it. But you're missing out. You can look through holiday photos
Starting point is 00:39:13 of people you hardly know. Yeah, I know. And go, but they're having a lovely holiday. Yeah, but I don't. Why can't I have a lovely holiday? I'm going to get the dad of the family and cut the skin off his face and wear it to his ear.
Starting point is 00:39:23 If you wanted. You could do that. You could do that on Facebook. No, I cut the skin off his face, I'm wearing it to appear. If you wanted. You could do that. You could do that on Facebook. No, I came off Facebook, so then I found it very invasive. Yeah. It is invasive. Yeah. And I have it with Twitter as well, because I'll just literally throw a thought on Twitter
Starting point is 00:39:35 without a thought. Yeah. Which is a stupid thing to do. It was like this morning, I just wrote, been up for this long, done this all day, I'm fed up, I'm going to bed. Yeah. Because I was. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:43 Or sometimes I'll be pissed off or whatever, you know, and you'll say something that alludes to that. But what you can't really get across to people on Twitter is, if you're only given a bit of information. Yeah. I'm not that person who does a bit of information. Yeah. So people go, what's wrong?
Starting point is 00:39:57 What's happening? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not that person. You're just putting it on there. Yeah. That's all I want to tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm not going to say that anyone want to ask.
Starting point is 00:40:06 Yeah. When I'm feeling down. I'll give you I'm feeling down so I can tell you all about it but I know that there are people who will do that going oh I'm fed up what's wrong babes yeah right back going nothing I don't even want to talk about it that sucks
Starting point is 00:40:20 yeah so I'm not a person so I find that quite by and large people on twitter are alright but every now and again That sucks with an accent. Yeah, yeah. So I'm not a person, so I find that quite... And by and large, people on Twitter are all right. But every now and again, you do just get something that'll just allude to your appearance or that will do something... We talked about it.
Starting point is 00:40:36 Me, you talked about it. Because I had Twitter silence for a little bit. And I spoke to you about it, because you sent me a private message. And I just said, it's just getting too much. I think they're just joking, much I think they're just joking and I think they're just trying to get involved
Starting point is 00:40:46 but I can't be called fat that many times in one day but that's the problem with the podcast as well isn't it because people listen to it and it's genuinely
Starting point is 00:40:53 like they're in the middle of a conversation because we just record it you know in our flat or your flat they think that you're mating the person yeah exactly
Starting point is 00:40:59 because they just feel like they're sat in between us but that's alright yeah but then that extends to them going well I'll draw them like this they think they sort of know you and they probably do a bit They just feel like they're sat in between us. But that's alright. Yeah, but then that extends to them going, well, I'll draw them like this.
Starting point is 00:41:06 Yeah. They sort of know you, and they probably do a bit. The problem is they can't gauge the right time to do it. No, of course not. So if we were doing a podcast, and we had a live Twitter feed coming through, then we might have a bit of a laugh with it. But we might do a podcast, and then we might go out,
Starting point is 00:41:22 and then a relative may die, and then we might get a tweet saying, no, fat fucker. I'm not really in the mood for that. So you can't really control all that sort of stuff. Facebook was certainly when I was like, get away, get away from it. And also I have like, girlfriends were looking on it and you knew who was looking at what and felt a bit spied on. And then, yeah, just didn't like it. And then all of them, I stupidly put all them pictures of my knob on it.
Starting point is 00:41:44 And then they went round everywhere everyone's going why does he think this looks alright and then a doctor tweeted you about it a doctor tweeted me
Starting point is 00:41:52 and said that shouldn't be on there and I'm going well I've had that since I was a young lad and they said no but genuinely that looks like
Starting point is 00:41:57 it's ready to go so all those things happened as well and yeah basically I left Facebook because I found out I was a mafrodite but now you're on Facebook
Starting point is 00:42:10 yeah I had a big cull recently because I just I went to this Facebook and just said yes to everyone and I was like
Starting point is 00:42:16 I don't know a thousand people so I just got rid of them and even now it's still I want to trim it again but it's really hard I kind of want to leave it and start again
Starting point is 00:42:24 from scratch yeah well I think probably a good idea I mean I what I did was I went from my stage name to my normal name
Starting point is 00:42:30 and then just binned the whole thing off right so I had like a couple of weeks as my normal name yeah but then it was just like lots of people trying to add me
Starting point is 00:42:35 because you know most people know my real name yeah and you know they tried to add me and I was like I can't be dealing with this anymore yeah
Starting point is 00:42:41 and just let it go but there's that other thing isn't there that sort of being beholden to strangers where you'll get several messages going, can you follow me? Can you follow me? Why do you even want that?
Starting point is 00:42:53 Why do you want me to follow you? You'll not be saying anything of interest to me. You've had to ask. It's not true love. Absolutely. I think I follow like 49 people or something on Twitter. And I think it's weird to desire it
Starting point is 00:43:07 but we were talking about before that Ed's ambition for the fringe is to get 4,000 followers that's my only ambition for the fringe and on the night
Starting point is 00:43:15 that it happens we're not going to do the show yeah we're not going to do the show we're just going to cancel the show how many do you need I'm 17 and a half so this is literally going to happen
Starting point is 00:43:22 like today or something well maybe not today maybe not today maybe not today to be honest if we say it people will stop following me because that's what
Starting point is 00:43:29 people are like because people just sit in their room and go oh someone says they want another follower I'll leave them
Starting point is 00:43:35 yeah you've done that yeah definitely definitely yeah in fact I've got one person who's a mutual friend of me and Ed's who I'm refusing
Starting point is 00:43:43 to re-follow really because it's bothering her so much. Because I stopped following her when she was asking for more followers as a joke. Well I asked for more followers. Yeah, you asked for more followers for her and then as
Starting point is 00:43:56 a joke I then stopped following her and then her reaction was so big to me stopping following her that I thought, right I'm Twitter standoff where I'm a thought right I'm Twitter standoff where I'm a close friend and yeah weird Twitter standoff where
Starting point is 00:44:09 I'm refusing to follow her because I know that it's bothering her. How awful is that? It's funny though. It's entertaining to me.
Starting point is 00:44:17 Yeah you can have a bit of fun with your friends can't you? That was the quick fire question round by the way. Oh sorry there were three more.
Starting point is 00:44:24 Alright. Have you had an egg? Yeah. How recently? Yesterday. How was it prepared? It was an egg sandwich. Oh, there's another one to that actually. How many eggs have you had in one day? Three. Three eggs in a day? Yeah, I reckon. Did you regret it afterwards? No.
Starting point is 00:44:40 Did you have them prepared differently? Yeah. How were they prepared? Three different sorts of eggs prepared differently? What ones? And a fried egg and a poached egg. That's two. And a boiled egg. And a boiled egg as well.
Starting point is 00:44:51 In one day? Yeah. Why couldn't you make him know about your egg? It's just having an egg day. It's just eggs. Just eggs? Yeah. Have you ever made a fried egg sandwich?
Starting point is 00:45:03 Do you like a fried egg sandwich? Yeah. And white bread yeah and tomato sauce maybe tomato sauce oh really that wasn't it for me
Starting point is 00:45:08 but it's fine have you ever been halfway through eating that sandwich and started cooking another one no I have
Starting point is 00:45:14 just a little insight I'm enjoying this fried egg sandwich so much that I don't want it to end so I will start cooking the other fried egg sandwich now
Starting point is 00:45:22 I've done that do you like scrambled egg yeah do you like a salmon yeah weird isn't it can I just I'm just going to call a halt So I will start cooking the other Friday sandwich now. I've done that. Tonight's Grumbled Egg? Yeah. Shall I cook salmon? Yeah. Weird, isn't it? Can I just... I'm just going to call a halt to this.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Thank you so much for coming, Katie. Ray has decided just to talk about every conceivable different type of egg. What's your best omelette? What's your best omelette? No, mate, we're not doing this. You've got to choose one. We're not doing this. She's got to choose one.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Let Katie read the credits. She's going now. What's your best omelette? Tomato and onion. Tomato and onion omelette. There we go. There we go. That's it now. I'm sure we're going to get in a bath. Let's all go and have a bath together.
Starting point is 00:45:50 Do you want bubbles or not? This is still quick fire? Yeah. Lots of bubbles. Yeah. So she can't see me. All right. We're going to go and have a bath now.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Peacock and Gamble. Peacock and Gamble. Katie Wilkins there. Oh. I wanted to put an arm around her. Did you? Yeah, I really did. Dirty boy. I mean, I didock and Gamble. Katie Wilkins there. Oh. I wanted to put an arm round her. Did you? Yeah, I really did. Dirty boy.
Starting point is 00:46:07 I mean, I did it at some points. Yeah, yeah. And she was stroking my leg all the way through it, and it didn't feel overtly sexual. No, no, no, mate, mate, mate, mate, that was me. Oh. That was me, sorry. Oh, you've got lovely hands. Yeah, thank you.
Starting point is 00:46:17 We didn't plug our show in the intro earlier on. Oh, sorry, mate. Well, we'll just plug it now. Peacock and Gamble don't even want to be on telly anywhere 9.40 at the Pleasant Stone Dome. Double plug, because we didn't do it in the intro. Okay, Peacock and Gamble don't even want to be on telly anyway. 9.40 at the Pleasant Stone Dome. Double plug, because we didn't do it in the intro. Okay. Peacock and Gamble don't even want to be on telly anyway. 9.40 at the Pleasant Stone Dome.
Starting point is 00:46:29 I'll do one as well. All right. Just in case we forget tomorrow. Okay. Hey, everyone. Do you like fun? Yeah, I do. Come and have some fun then.
Starting point is 00:46:36 Where? Oh, I'll tell you where. 9.40pm, Pleasant Stone Dome. Oh, what? It's on then. Oh, Peacock and Gamble don't even want to be on telly anyway. That sounds brilliant. It sounds like it's been getting good reviews and selling out.
Starting point is 00:46:46 Yeah, nearly. But yeah, people have said nice things about it and it's nearly selling out. Yeah. And it's really winding me up. Yeah, I know. Because if we'd have been
Starting point is 00:46:56 in like a 20 seater, this would be ridiculous. I know. It'd be weird shows as well if it's a 20 seater. Yeah. If our show was in a five seater, whoa. Sold out for the whole run. It'd be weird shows as well if it's 20 seater. Yeah. If our show was in a five seater, whoa. Sold out for the whole run.
Starting point is 00:47:07 It'd be heaving. In advance. If we had no seats in our venue. Yeah. Ooh. Completely sold out in advance. Ooh, chaos. Absolute chaos.
Starting point is 00:47:14 So if you want to be part of that hypothetical chaos, do come along to the show. And don't forget, tweet about the podcast and our show as well. Yeah. And Facebook about it and all that sort of business that you do. Or just speak to people in real life like they've done in the 70s yeah
Starting point is 00:47:27 do you remember that when they'd done all that in the 70s bangles and Star Wars figures came out and paedophiles goodnight okay
Starting point is 00:47:37 ready to go yeah go the Pete Cove and Gamble Edinburgh podcast is a ready production hosted by chortle.co.uk today's guest was me
Starting point is 00:47:48 and my... oh right yeah today's guest was Katie Wilkins and my show Joy is my middle name you're thinking about your show just going oh it's so funny what was your show again because I spoke over it
Starting point is 00:48:04 Joy is my middle name at 7.45pm at Denny Belly or Cowgate If thinking about your show, just go, oh, it's so funny. What was your show again? Because I spoke over it. Joy is My Middle Name at 7.45pm at Deli Belly or Cowgate. Deli Belly or Cowgate. Off Cowgate. Off Cowgate. Full music by Thomas Van Der Ey. See you tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:48:15 There you go. And I think, do you know what? I think you were the 12th best reader of that. The 12th best reader of the credits. You got Thomas Van Der Ey without questioning it,
Starting point is 00:48:24 which is good that's gating should I do it no no you don't get another chance you don't get another chance

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