The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 23 (Imaan Hadchiti)
Episode Date: February 14, 2021"Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 23 (Imaan Hadchiti)" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 108 of 128....
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Peacock and Gamble
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Cause it's not a Peacock and it's not a Peacock Gamble, but it is right Peacock and it is a Gamble Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Because it's our day, Peacock and it's not Peacock and Gamble, but it is Ray Peacock and it is our Gamble.
Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble.
Here they are.
It's the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast.
Oh, it is. We're still in Edinburgh.
I'm Ray Peacock.
I'm Ed Gamble.
And now it's time for our regular section, What's Up With Ray Today?
Oh, well that is a regular section because that's all this podcast is.
What's Ray's illness today? That's all this podcast has ever been, mate. Well, yesterday
I'd done a bad throat. Yeah, you did done a bad throat. I've still got some of that.
Yeah, that is there. The day before I had a blocked up nose. You've got all of your
throat. All my throat is still there. I'm still a bit touch and go, as you can probably
hear by my voice. Yeah. The day before I had a blocked up nose, and today I've got a lovely
cough, which just happens every now
and again. Hacking cough. All the way through
my sleep. Yeah. But don't worry,
because I've got some medicine. It's from
Tollcross Pharmacy. Are we just advertising
that? Who you can contact on 0131
229 7778.
That's nice. They provide lots of medicine
for people. Have you agreed to do an advert
with them? Including Cavonia Chesty
Cough Mix. Cavonia.
Is that off the advert?
Yeah.
Is it?
Cavonia.
Is that,
it made me better?
Yeah,
it makes you sing that opera.
Cavonia.
I don't want to do that.
Yeah, you do.
You've always wanted to.
I do a lovely bit of singing
in our show, mate.
Well, no,
last night you didn't
because last night
your voice wasn't up to it
so you shouted it
in a really weird way
and it made me laugh
until I cried on stage.
You did fall down,
didn't you?
Yeah, I nearly fell down.
It was really funny.
I had a great time.
I've not had more fun on stage, really, many more times than that.
Really?
That was great fun.
That, and I know you were ill.
Yeah.
So it probably wasn't that fun for you overall as a gig.
But that's what made it, because I wasn't quite all there.
That's why it was funny.
And then there's a little, just not even an emotional bit at the end, just a little bit
that demands a little bit of silence.
Yeah.
And in one of those silences, in one of those pauses
that are full of pathos and emotion,
some fireworks went off, some consecutive fireworks went off.
Like that.
Yeah, almost like a fart.
So Ray punctured the silence after those fireworks with, pardon me.
Pardon me.
Yeah, again, reducing me to near tears.
You went, didn't you?
Yeah, but I was already on the cusp, so that was it. I was gone. But I didn't like that you criticised me to near tears. You went, didn't you? Yeah. But I was already on the cusp. So that was it.
I was gone.
But I didn't like that you criticised me
to all the audience.
Because you turned to all the audience
and you went,
but this is all day, this.
I know.
I'm so tired.
I'm so tired.
I just thought that was funny.
Yeah, I know.
But that was a funny thing.
And I was sitting there
while they all laughed at me.
They laughed with you, mate?
They all laughed at my face.
No, they didn't.
All going,
oh yeah,
Bennett is horrible living with him.
No, they didn't. Is it nice living with me Bennett is horrible living with him. No, they didn't.
Is it nice living with me?
Absolutely.
Well, not when you're ill.
Because I worry about you when you're ill.
Oh, what?
Do you want to bring me some breakfast through?
Bring you some breakfast through?
Yeah, maybe I could sit up in the bed and you could bring me a tray of breakfast.
What sort of things would you like?
What time do you want your tray of breakfast?
Because I have breakfast at like half nine, ten really.
That's ludicrous.
I want them when I wake up.
Yeah, okay.
But I want it ready when I wake up. Yeah. Well, I don't know when you wake up. No, neither do I. I don't know when it's going to be. I want them when I wake up. Yeah. Okay. But I want it ready when I wake up.
Yeah.
Well I don't know
when you wake up.
No neither do I.
I don't know when
it's going to be.
So it'll just be raw bread.
Well today I woke up
at like ten.
I was about to go
and interview someone
didn't we?
Yeah.
We did our last
interview today.
We did.
Bye bye interviews.
Including this one.
There's three more
no four more episodes
including this one.
Including this one.
But we've done them all now.
Yeah.
Done.
All finished.
All wrapped up.
Just need to record the intro
put them out on the day.
Yeah.
So any comedians that are still clinging to the hope that we're going to interview them we're not. Yeah, done. All finished. All wrapped up. Just need to record the intro, put them out on the day. Yeah, so any comedians
that are still clinging
to the hope that we're
going to interview them,
we're not.
And it's not a personal
thing at all.
With some of you it is.
Oh, with some of them
it definitely is.
Just if you're thinking
is it personal against me,
it's not.
But with some people it is.
Yeah, it could be.
If it is, you'll know.
Yeah, definitely.
You'll get the idea.
But we only had
limited spaces, didn't we?
Yeah, we only had 27 episodes.
Yeah, that's what we had.
So what were we meant to do?
26 episodes.
Also, I should apologise as well, because there's people whose shows I still haven't seen.
Yeah.
And at the moment, I've got a little bit of free time now.
Yeah.
So, for example, I could have gone today.
I want to see Silky, I want to see Toby Haydoke.
Yeah.
And at night time, I want to see Nish.
Yeah.
And I've not seen any of those shows yet.
But I'm very, very aware that if I go to those shows at the moment, I'll ruin them. You'll cough through them. Yeah. So it's really... Actually, that to see Nish and I've not seen any of those shows yet but I'm very very aware that if I go to those shows
at the moment
I'll ruin them
you'll cough through them
yeah
so it's really
actually that would make
Nish's better
alright I'll go and see Nish
and have a cough there
yeah that would really help him out
I don't know about Silky or Toby
but you know
no it'd probably ruin their show
but I know specifically with Nish
having seen his show in preview
and I can't imagine
it's changed that much
a bit of coughing
would help him along
it'd sort of make the silence
more sort of like
oh I see
it's more like Pinter.
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
Yeah.
So who's on the podcast today?
I'll tell you who.
Iman Chitpumchum.
Chumpumchum?
Padchiti.
Iman Puchitpuncha.
No, you can't,
that is just offensive.
Why?
You can't just not learn
someone's name
because it's a bit foreign
and then try and make it up
with sound.
I didn't know he had
a second name.
You thought he was
just called Iman?
I'm sure on his flyer.
That's David Bowie's wife is just called Iman.
But I'm sure that on his flyer it just says Iman.
It does.
His show is called A Little Perspective with Iman.
Yeah.
So that's the title of his show,
but it's by Iman Hanchiti.
Iman what?
Hanchiti.
Hanchiti.
Yeah.
I might have got it wrong, for all I know.
I'm saying it very confidently.
Yeah.
But Iman, definitely.
I tell you what, don't learn his name, you'll recognise him. Yeah, you won't. Do you know
what? I reckon if you saw him, you'd know him. Yeah. After listening to the interview.
Yeah, he's got a beard. He says his own name at the end, doesn't he? Yeah, he does, yeah.
So listen out for that at the end. That's a good point, you know. If we didn't know
his second name and he's been around here, he could have been away with stuff. Police
would come round and they'd go, right, what was his name? We'd go, Iman. Iman what? No
idea. No idea. Can you describe him as, you know, what was his name? We'd go, Iman. Iman what? No idea. No idea.
Can you describe
him as, you know,
I'm a bloke.
A normal sort of
normal sized bloke.
He's not, well,
no, he's not normal.
Well, he's normal
but he's not.
Huh?
Is this the bloke
who'd come round
and sat really far
away from the mic?
No, this is me.
We're having mic
problems.
This is where you've
got it wrong.
Sometimes, no, guys,
sometimes we have
problems with the mic
and, you know, have problems with the mic.
And, you know, Ray might move the mic further towards me or further towards him or turn it away from me.
And we were having real trouble that day because Iman came round and he got such a loud voice we had to sit him very far away.
No, it wasn't.
It was sat exactly where everyone else would be sat.
Sorry?
It don't matter.
It don't matter, actually.
Right.
We'll just listen to the interview.
Okay.
Don't worry about that.
Yeah.
Also, don't forget our show, Peacock and Gamble. Don't even want to be on telly anyway. 9.40, buzz listen to the interview. Okay. Don't worry about that. Yeah. Also don't forget our show Peacock
and Gamble don't
even want to be on
telly anyway.
9.40 plus a
dome, dome, dome,
dome.
Yeah so as of
today there are
for us four shows
left.
For you if you're
listening to this on
the day it comes out
there are three shows
left.
Three shows left.
Three shows.
Exciting.
And then we burn
it all down.
We burn it all down
don't we?
Never perform it
again.
No we're doing a
tour.
We're doing a like
40 date national tour. Oh shut your mouth I've got a tour. We're doing a 40-date national tour.
Oh, shut your mouth.
I've got a cough.
Well, the first one's on September 7th.
You're joking.
I'm not joking, mate.
It's next week.
First one's on September 7th at Porthcawl Grand Pavilion.
Oh, not fucking Porthcawl.
Oh, mate.
Not that one.
Mate, don't say that.
That's an awful gig.
Yeah, I know, but they don't know that.
Get down there.
That's the first one of our tour?
Yeah.
Well, that's cursed, isn't it, from day one?
Right, well, okay.
Right, we're cancelling that.
Just that bloke in that wheelchair always comes in.
Yeah, but he laughs.
He does laugh as well, but if you have a bit of fun with him, the rest of the audience
go all weird.
Anyway, never mind that.
Let's just have a nice, normal interview now with Iman.
Yeah.
At your beach, oh.
Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble.
So, we're here with our first overseas guest
first overseas guest
oh really
yeah I think
you're thinking
you are man
I think we're
have we
let's go through them all
no let's not go through them all
I can't think of anyone else
Greg Davis UK
Lee Mack UK
Russell Howard UK
that's as far as
I can remember
right
Richard Herring UK
Richard Herring UK
yeah but is he though
is Richard Herring UK
is he
is I don't know I don't know who is Richard Herring UK. Richard Herring UK. Yeah, but is he though? Is Richard Herring UK? Is he? Is he? I don't know.
I don't know.
Who is Richard Herring?
Good question.
Exactly.
And that's the next question everyone's been asking.
And furthermore, what is Richard Herring?
Nice.
We know that.
Slam into him more.
He's not a prick really, is he?
What I get concerned about is people...
This happened when we used to do the podcast with Raji.
Yeah.
Because they heard us taking the piss out of him, out
of Raji and they
heard us messing
about with Raji
and then they all
started doing it
and I don't want
people to go and
start shouting at
Richard or his
fans to start
shouting at us.
We're pals in
real life, it's
just been a bit of
a joke for everyone
but anyway never
mind that dickhead.
We are here with
Iman who is,
where are you
from?
I'm from Melbourne
Melbourne Australia
the big apple
yeah you could call it that
you call every city
the big apple
has it got a nickname
Melbourne
it's the place to be
apparently
oh really
that's our little slogan
that they have
do you follow
the Melbourne Storm
pardon
do you follow
Melbourne Storm
I don't follow
rugby
why
because my neck
turns
I love rugby league Melbourne Storm? Melbourne Storm. I don't follow rugby. Why? Because my neck turns.
I love rugby league.
Yeah, I mean, I get into it a little bit, but I'm more of a sort of AFL.
What does that mean?
Aussie rules.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I've been actually following the soccer, football.
Over here?
Over here, yeah.
Who have you been following? But I'm trying to do it in the closet
so no one knows
I actually like
football
I think you'd be
allowed to like it
yeah
you're allowed
yeah you are allowed
I'm allowed
I'm just not allowed
to go and chant
who are ya
who are ya
you could do that
mate
you would freak
them the fuck out
I would actually
I would go to a
football match
to watch that
and I'm not a fan
of football
you went in with
who are ya
and they go
who are you yeah who are you? And they go,
who are you?
Yeah,
who are you?
What?
What is that?
But we'll get to that later on because that's kind of
obvious questions
and also we're on a podcast.
Yeah.
So are you,
you gig in Melbourne,
you gig in Australia?
Yes,
I've just recently moved to London.
Oh,
so you are over here now?
Yeah,
only two weeks before the festival. Oh, wow, okay. So you moved to London two weeks before are over here now yeah only two weeks before the festival
oh wow okay
so you moved to London
two weeks before you came to
Scotland for a month
yeah
why?
because I had to
rent it before
alright okay
I had to get
you know get the room
it was a good deal
yeah yeah
so you're based over here now
based over here
and that's the plan
to stay based over here
yeah until I kick a set
right okay
how long can you get away with saying
two years
alright
okay
you've got two
years to make it.
It's a hard
Two years to
make it big.
That's going
to be amazing.
It's like a race
against time,
it's tough.
That's really
cool,
that's really
really cool.
I like that,
having a time
limit on it.
I panic,
I know what
I like with
time limits,
I panic right
up until the
last two months
and then go
oh fuck,
I better try.
Yeah,
two months is
going to happen.
Try and cram it
into the last
two months
yeah so until
then just enjoy
the sun
yeah
think about it
you know you
come from
Melbourne so
just enjoy the
weather
yeah
it's actually
quite lovely
it's nice
it's pretty
warm and
muggy there
was that a
plan with you
because the
comedy scene in
Australia is a
bit weird I
believe I've
never been
yeah it's
I think the word for it is shit.
Right, okay.
I spoke to Mick Milley the night about it,
and he went,
we've got eight fucking clubs.
Yeah, it's true.
In the whole of Australia,
there's only like maybe eight or nine proper clubs.
But isn't that weird when there's such a...
There's so many comics in Australia.
Yeah, so many comics.
And decent comics, too.
And that's the problem.
There's too many comics, not enough people watching comedy.
Is that what it is?
Because there's a theory that whenever it's sunny, people are already happy.
They don't want to see comedy.
Yeah.
But when it's miserable and cold and raining.
And broken.
And broken and angry and, you know, stacked on top of each other, you need to laugh.
Right.
So there's more need to see comedy so that's why everyone comes here
Edinburgh, that's why it's perfect for comedy
although this year it's been really sunny
and you know what?
10 hours has been down
not for us weirdly
I think we'll always be the exception
to the rule
so if everyone's doing well we'll sell fuck all
if no one's selling any we'll sell be the exception to the rule. Yeah. So if everyone's doing well, we'll sell fuck all.
If no one's selling any, we'll sell out.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
That's so awkward.
Always making it as difficult as possible.
I've been in a cab just now,
and me and Ed were saying that it's just like,
everything is stacked against this city for doing comedy in it. Or even doing a festival, an arts festival, shows,
just anywhere that requires you to sit in a little black box for a while.
Because it was like
do you want to go
and see a show
at the top of the sill
do you want to go
and see
I know it's hot
outside and wet
but do you want
to go and get
more humid
go and get more
humid in this room
it's really bizarre
but I think
that's a good point
if it is that awful
and people are so
pissed off about
the weather
then it's probably
quite a good thing
to go and see
some cool weather
but then again
would you not say
that when it's been
raining outside
it gigs harder
to get the audience
but when they come
in they're a bit
sort of wet
and they're a bit
sort of
no I haven't
noticed that
personally
I think we just
had a bad night
that night
all my gigs
are rubbish
you've always got
a weather based
excuse
it's raining
at all my gigs
if it starts
raining inside the venue,
I think that might be an issue.
Yeah.
That's just a fire alarm.
Yeah.
So how long have you been a commenter for?
Seven years.
Because you told me you're how old are you?
22.
22.
So you've been a commenter since you were five.
Is that the maths?
Nearly, mate.
Nearly five.
Yeah.
Yeah, I started really young.
Really? At 15, I started really young. Really?
At 15, I did like a
say you think you're funny competition
but find the 18 year olds.
Okay.
Class clowns.
Cool.
And I won it.
The first three gigs I did
in front of 400, 800 and then 1,000 people.
Wow, wow, okay.
And that's what I started.
Yeah, yeah.
And then did a club in front of 20.
Oh, this is
this is the real stuff
yeah
did you notice
a genuine difference
in that
was there a real
yeah
it was a shock for me
yeah
it was like a whole new
I did that gig
in the club
and I was like
oh this is my first gig
now
yeah
this is where it starts
and now
I guess that's the challenge
if you still enjoyed that
yeah
with that drop off
then you know
you want to keep going with it
I was yeah
I mean I've been
very lucky
because I didn't know
what I was saying
when I was 15
but I was saying it
really well
right yeah
and does that bear
any resemblance
to the material
you do now
no not at all
I did a lot of
sort of cheap
short puns
and you know
took the piss
out of myself
yeah yeah
whereas now
I've kind of
swapped it around
I'm taking the piss out of everyone's reactions to me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, to your size.
Yeah, of course.
Because I did a gig with you,
God, it was like last week,
but it feels like fucking three months ago.
But we did a gig together,
which was, I think,
certainly in my top three bits of stand-up
I've seen at the Fringe.
Oh, wow, thank you.
Definitely, in that you,
because you only got there in time.
We didn't know whether or not
you were going to be there
on time or not.
It was going to be an interval
that would bring you on.
Yeah.
And then I brought you on.
I think I'd met you already
the night before briefly
in the Gilded Garden.
And I brought you on.
And not many people
in that room could see you.
Yeah.
They were just pissed, were they?
No.
No, no.
It was just the way it was.
Literally, the way it was set out.
Because it's that weird thing,
you know. Because we had a thing where when I asked you to was just the way it was. Literally, the way it was set out. Because it's that weird thing, you know.
Because we had a thing where, when I asked you to be on the podcast.
Yeah.
And I immediately said, now, the thing is.
It's a whole bunch of fucking stairs.
It's really up, it's up these stairs.
And I don't know, you know, you catch yourself doing things.
And I'm like, well, we have to get in a cushion.
Yeah.
And you do start thinking all those things.
Yeah.
And again, not out of
yeah I mean
that's a normal
behaviour
it is
but it's also
it is still
a thing of going
he can't do
things we can do
yeah
when you can
yeah
so it's that
assumption on our
side
it's like
a friend of mine
met you the other
night
and apparently
that's changed
he was going
it's a really
lovely blot
no he is
I've spoken to him
a few times
actually it's got really lovely blouse I was like no it is I've spent it a few times and she went it's got really little hands
and we went
of course it's got little hands
it would be bizarre
if you had massive hands
I was in the loft bar
and there was this guy
who wanted to have my number
he was booking for something
I don't know
a bit of schmoozing going on
and I gave him my number
and he was sitting
on his phone
and he was putting
my name in
and he started writing
little P-E-R
really
and I'm like
oh my god
this guy's going to
write little person
what an arse
what a dick
how dare he
and I was going
to say something
but I let him finish
and he wrote
little perspective
which is the name
of my show
it was almost
almost a
catastrophe on my part being a dick i was a dick and it was yeah the name of your show
so we'll get to the show in a sec but i also want to address that the way that people react to you
and and you must be aware of it happening even when they're not engaging you yeah so it must
be something that you're you're aware of that people look and people you know not fucking point or well i say that i do i say yeah
i say that but after that gig we did together where you ripped the arse out of it was really
great again the other thing that happened as well i didn't know where to put the mic yeah i was
comparing i had no idea do i take it off and give it to him do i leave it on the stand well i didn't
know what to do either way yeah you know I always make a joke
yeah no of course
yeah yeah yeah
because he put the mic
when I came back
he put the mic on the floor
for me
which was quite nice
but then at that point
I just went
you little shit
I will fucking drop it
to the audience
going
no
that's the problem isn't it
people
we've had this discussion before
that audiences often get offended
on other people's behalf
yeah yeah that's the most
condescending thing
yeah
you have no right
to be offended
don't take my
offence
yeah
of course
so after that
show
we were outside
I'm going to
chat before you
left
and it started
to really
annoy me
and it really
did bug me
in a massive
way
that people
that were just
walking past
on the street
stopped and had their photo with you yeah it was genuinely driving me insane so how how is that
from your side um see it depends on my mood yeah generally like you know after a good gig where you
know like i said i smashed it i'll be like yeah i don't really give it you know whatever if it's
been from the audience yeah yeah this is just part of punt it outside the street if I'm in a good mood
I will generally
go okay
quickly
so I can give them
the fuck away
yeah
but there's sometimes
where it just gets
a bit too much
and I usually just go
hey I'm not Edinburgh Castle
fuck off
yeah
it's what
I don't know
what's the reason
yeah
why would someone think that
why would someone go
I'm going to get a photo.
Yeah,
exactly.
But I've seen it with you so much,
this fringe,
like so much.
I've seen it in the Gilded Gardens
when you're out flyering.
I've seen it like so much.
Do you know,
I've gotten,
when I did Adelaide Fringe,
I would happen a lot
and I would say,
if you want a photo with me,
come to my show
and I'll give you a photo afterwards.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
20% of my tickets sold
came from people.
From photos.
I had a Japanese
couple sitting
in the front row
you know
saying a word
of English
eating popcorn
spent $40
20 pounds
to sing my show
didn't say a word
didn't laugh
just talked to each other
yeah
came out
just for the photo
wow
well sure
you could photoshop that
easy
sure
I mean
there might be
now that people that go well that is photoshopped even there might be now and then people that go,
well, that is
photoshopped.
Even when they
get it, it's like,
no, that's not
real.
That's not
a little man.
So what we're
going with,
I know if we're
using it as a
description,
a descripting?
Descripting.
A description.
A describing
term.
Little person?
Little man?
I prefer the term, migga. Little person. Little man. I prefer the term
migga.
Migga.
Migga.
Brilliant.
Brilliant.
But not migga.
Migga, that's inappropriate.
Migga is for you.
Migga.
That's the right phrase.
I can say migga.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we've...
So we've sat here for the last 20 minutes,
skating around the issue,
and you go straight in.
And that was in your set, wasn't it?
You mentioned that in your set.
Yeah, that is in my set,
but I actually want that phrase to be coined.
I want people to start calling people niggers.
Yeah.
I reckon it would be really funny.
Yeah.
For a bit. Yeah, until yeah for a bit until it becomes a
genuinely derogatory term
yeah until people start becoming
it's going to be hilarious when we call you that
loudly in the gilded garden
when you're out flyering
what's up my migger
so I've seen you flyering most nights
because we tend to wander over to the end of the garden
after our show and stuff.
I'm a minute there.
Your fly-in technique is second to none, in my opinion,
in that you wander around.
What is your height?
Do you mind asking your height?
Three, four, I think.
Three, four.
What was the bet we had before?
I didn't have a bet.
We did, we had a bet.
We were sitting in Coke cans. How big is he? How big Coke cans is he? you said come on okay right we said in
Coke cans
how big is he
in Coke cans
how big Coke
cans is he
well
company
yeah yeah
four Pringles
tubes
four Pringles
tubes
four Pringles
tubes and
iron broom
so you
you wander
around
not aimlessly
but you wander
around the
Gullit Garden
aimlessly is
pretty accurate
hey that's that in a minute but the other side of the thing of people coming up to you and wanting not aimlessly but you wander around the Gulligard aimlessly is pretty accurate hey
that's that in a minute
but the other side
of the thing
of people coming up
to you and wanting
photos and stuff
is I've also noticed
that you're very much
a ladies magnet
yeah
I also have another
theory about this
I'm like the gay friend
with ladies
okay
they kind of feel
comfortable around me
yeah
I'm not a threat
when they play with
their tits for a while
then they fuck my mate.
That's just,
you know,
that's just the way it is.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, yeah,
because women...
I mean, it's not a bad deal.
That's been the same with most girls
that have come back to our house.
But yeah,
that is like,
that is a thing of,
you know,
where women do feel comfortable around me.
Yeah, yeah.
They tell me things I don't want to know.
And, you know,
but I use them against them
and it's great
yeah
no I saw you all
over two last days
the other night
I think they were
dancing with you
for a bit
yeah
when you were
flyering
yeah
oh yeah
the flyers
I always had
fun with the flyers
and then I remember
seeing a lady
give you a big hug
and I was like
look where he's living
look where he's living
right now
all I could see
was your hands
behind her
just patting her
on the back
I was like you little jammy fucker look at you But where he's living right now, all I could see was your hands behind her just patting her on the back.
You're a little jammy fucker looking at her.
So you go around with a megaphone, you have a megaphone.
Yeah.
What was the thing you said the other night that made me scream laughing?
If you can hear me and can't see me, do I really exist?
Yeah.
So just this voice coming from nowhere.
And then there's a lovely thing when people realise who it is.
Yeah. When you're there
I mean it is
you know
it's not
people aren't freaked out
at all
it is like a very
everyone's quite happy
with you
with you being there
but are you finding
that there's more
people just happy
to see you
as a thing
than to come to your show
a little bit
I've stopped the megaphone
as much
have you
yeah yeah
and I've actually
gotten better numbers
oh really
because
yeah I find that people kind of go well we've seen him he's running around phone as much have you yeah yeah and I've actually gotten better numbers oh really because um
yeah I find that
people kind of go
well we've seen him
yeah yeah
surely that's all
he's going to do
in the night
bit of acrobatics
probably
backflip
I had a Saturday
audience like that
just a whole bunch
of you know
dicks and everything
wankers
with no necks
just staring
they're staring at me
not laughing
just seeing the short guy talk
like that was
you know
I used to
when I first started
doing comedy
to get paid
I did the freak show circuit
right
horrible stuff
but literally
people would come
I'd do my stand up set
and they'd just
they wouldn't
they'd just watch
the short man talk
is there such a thing
as a freak show circuit
yeah there is
is that in Australia
yeah and you know
there is
I mean there's always like they package it differently yeah but that's where it boils down to yeah yeah yeah Is there such a thing as a freak show circuit? Yeah, there is. Is that in Australia? Yeah, you know, there is.
I mean, there's always like, they package it differently.
Yeah, but that's what it boils down to.
Yeah.
It is what it is.
They tend to package it over here like it's like rock and roll type thing. Yeah.
Or like the Jim Rose sort of thing.
Well, it almost seems, I don't know, Tiger Lilies did.
Yeah, it's also packaged as sort of like a...
Yeah, Tiger Lilies.
Yeah, like a vaudeville kind of thing
yeah
it's part of
a retro thing
yeah
but that is still
what it is
so yeah
and I did that
for a couple of years
but yeah
I still get that
sort of
what my goal is
to kind of make sure
that people
see me as a comic first
yeah yeah
because if I was tall
I'd still be doing stand up
like you know
this is all I know
stand up is in my
blood
there's just less
blood
but it is still
something to get
over isn't it
but also for an
audience
let's not credit
everyone with just
being able to go
that's just a
bloke
because people
can't do that
some can
some can't
so you know
you can't
for someone's
natural reaction you can't always condemn them you know, you can't necessarily, for someone's natural reaction,
you can't always condemn them for it,
but you can educate it.
Yeah,
exactly.
And that's the point of,
you know,
that is the point of my stand-up,
is to educate it,
quickly,
so when I can do my next hour,
I don't always have to mention.
Yeah,
of course.
Yeah,
of course.
So,
is that your goal?
Because your show this year
is called A Little Perspective.
Yeah.
And you got,
you got very angry the other day because you said about some of you sometime that said why is it all from his perspective
yeah yeah i got it i got i got a really yeah she she didn't like that i actually had a perspective
on other things other than being short yeah all right so so because i i i have quite strong views
on religion yeah and i didn't like you straying outside. She's like, how dare he have an opinion?
This show's about him being short and the tribunes of that.
Yeah, yeah.
But surely the title's a double meaning anyway.
Yeah, exactly.
It's perspective in general.
It's just your general perspective.
Yeah.
But also, given what we were just saying about
you can't stop people's natural reactions,
things like that really are a barrier to progressing beyond any sort of,
you know, to what's considered normal.
You know, it's the same thing with weight,
it's the same thing with height,
you know, Greg Davis with his height,
people just can't,
we did exactly the same thing
when we spoke to him,
he's a very, very tall guy,
you know, we chatted about that.
If people are saying,
well, or in as many words,
well, I want to just hear about him being short,
and I don't't I'm not interested
in other things
just tell us about that
and about
have you been knocked over
or anything
you know if that's
if that's what they want
do you know what I mean
then saying that
in a review
particularly in a review
that's a really bad review
because that's a really
that's genuinely like
saying about a black comic
well why are they
discussing white issues
yeah
well do you know
if someone reads her review
or him,
whoever it was,
and they see what she's saying
and they get, like, people who can think
will see that and go,
that's obviously a bad review, she's missed the point,
I want to see his show.
So, it's
polarised it.
So the people that will go yeah I agree
I only want to hear him
talk about short people
well they can fuck off
I don't want to be in my show
yeah yeah yeah
so you know
yeah yeah yeah
so it's a good thing
it's sorting the wheat
from the chaff anyway
so the goal would be
though for you
would be that it just
doesn't ever need
to be mentioned
yeah
or just mentioned once
yeah yeah
you know
yeah
I guess in club sets
it would be a thing
that just
oh you've got to do it you just have to you have to dispatch until you're going to get a name Or just mention once. Yeah, yeah. You know. Yeah. I guess in club sets, it would be a thing of just...
Oh, you've got to do it.
You just have to...
You have to dispatch it.
Until you kind of get a name and people know you.
But is it not just tacit?
It's just there, isn't it?
Yeah.
Like, you know, your size is just there.
Yeah.
And naturally, a lot of my jokes are about being short
because I'm very anecdotal in my jokes.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's always
going to have
that element
because that's
just who I am
and it impacts
on your life
it's when people
want it to be
the punchline
constantly
that's the
difference
so after Edinburgh
what's your plan
try the London
circuit
how many years
have you got
after Edinburgh
so you're down
to 23 months then
23 months
yeah
23 months
I think we should do
a podcast a month
where we just chart
a man's progress
he's living on the street
month 24
we've got information
about where he is
if you are from the office
that is in charge
of people coming in
and out
yeah I mean yeah the office that is in charge of people coming in and out yeah I mean
yeah the plan
now is to do
as many club
gigs as I can
write a new
hour
yeah
and take it to
the Melbourne
festival
Melbourne and
Adelaide festivals
yeah
do you have an
invite to that
or are you
going to just
go and do it
um
Adelaide I
always have an
invite
okay
not so much
we'll see how
we go
okay
um but I
definitely do
Adelaide Fringe
Adelaide Fringe is fantastic
yeah yeah
do that
and then bring that show
to Edinburgh
cool
and then stay here
for the next
whatever months
however many months
you're allowed
you're allowed
unless you've been
on Mock the Week
and then you can probably
get another three months
out of it
I can do Mock the Week
I'll show you
Mock the Week's three Mock the Week's three months
and then two months
have I got news for you.
Yeah, you get two months
I've got news for you.
Why don't you
remind the Buscocks?
How is that?
Buscocks,
it literally counts
for nothing.
It's weird, isn't it?
Because it's probably
the better of the three programmes.
Now, if my repeats
are on Dave
two years later
am I allowed to come back
and leave?
No, they take a month off
for that.
You will learn very fast that repeats on Dave two years later am I allowed to come back and live no they take a month off for that you will learn
very fast
that repeats
on Dave
are worth shit
because we're
repeated on Dave
regularly
and don't get
a penny for it
no money
yeah
I've been repeated
on E4
I did
Balls of Steel
Australia
and it's been
played more here
than in Australia and I'm getting more people seeing played more here than in Australia
and I'm getting
more people seeing
me from here
because you guys
love that shit
I saw a news article
it was an ITN news
article with you
on it
which was about
I think it was
World's Shortest
Comedian or something
like that
I wanted to ask you
about it because
it looked like it
was at some sort
of red carpet event
it was at one of
these
it was a circus
show
that I
was hosting
okay fine
I honestly
thought
is that
an awards
tournament
I've not
heard about
the world's
shortest
comedian
and like
just loads
of them
going well
right
all up
against the
wall
just you
and Susan
Calman
going Susan
I think
you've
lost
again
yeah
I've
actually
Guinness
contacted me wanting to actually make it official.
That I'm the shortest full-time stand-up comic.
Right.
Which means I'm the shortest, dumbest person in the world.
Wow, are you going to go for that?
I'm not sure.
That's alright.
I'll go for it, but I don't know whether I'll put it on my flyers.
If you go for one, yeah, it'll be alright.
Yeah, it should be alright.
Yeah, I don't know if I...
It's something that's going to become, let you say,
if the idea is to step in one way away from it, then...
It's a tricky balance though, isn't it?
Probably if you've got something like that,
and you know that that could help sell tickets,
because everyone's always searching for an angle,
or a press angle, like everyone is,
but it's about trying to make it so it's not all about that,
but also have an element of that to bring people in for the off,
so then you can show them exactly what you can do.
Yeah, exactly right.
That is the weird part, but like we were saying,
you don't want people just turning up to just stare at you.
Exactly, yeah.
So that's the kind of, you know,
and I do get a lot more opportunities being shorter
because people book me more.
Yeah.
But I kind of feel like it is my,
because I've got this opportunity
to be in the eye quicker
that I've got the responsibility
to be a funnier comic
I have to rise again
so even if those people came in
just on the short thing
then you've got to really grab it by the bollocks
as soon as they're in there
easy that
grab them easy the bollocks
unless they're dickheads
then it's a whole thing
scruff of the neck
you're gonna struggle with
pick up and gamble
pick up and gamble
um
it's uh
no but it is
it's interesting isn't it
because that first time
I saw you at that gig
like
because I'd met you
and I thought you were
sounding that
and then when I saw you
and I didn't know what to expect
to be honest with you
but I was like
he's a really good comic
yeah yeah
but he's a really like it was
and I wonder now whether I had a
perception of like yeah or maybe it's just
going to be like yeah and oh
I can look up your skirts oh
I don't know what I thought it was going to be yeah
but the fact you went on there and fucking nailed
things and it wasn't all about
that at all you know you addressed it but it wasn't about that
there was all like you said the religious stuff and that
and it was a really strong set
and it was pretty
impressive
and I wonder
whether it's easier
for you to do it
or harder for you
to do it
and I suspect
it's harder
harder to do
harder for you
to establish yourself
on the night
as in the moment
to establish yourself
as a serious comic
for want of a better
phrase
as a credible comic yeah a for want of a better phrase as a
incredible comic
yeah
it depends on
the audience
really
it really depends on
the vibe of the gig
you know
if I go out there
and grab it
and just
just take it
then the audience
will go
wow
you know
they get
they do
they can't see it
and they go
yeah well done
and I've had
you know
dicks come up to me
and go
can I have a photo I said no come to my show and then after the show they come and they can't see it and they go, yeah, well done. And I've had, you know, dicks come up to me and go, can I have a photo?
I said,
no,
come to my show.
Yeah.
And then after the show
they come and they go,
you're really funny
and I apologise.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
But can I get that photo?
Yeah,
but can I get a photo
to show you that I'm,
you know.
Yeah,
I'm willing to wear this.
Yeah.
But yeah,
so there is that sort of,
you do see the change
in people,
you know, from the start of the hour
to the end of it
people go
yeah
that's really cool
yeah
it's really cool
to see what
actually happens
it's very rare
when it actually happens
it's like yeah
it's actually
I'm doing something
yeah yeah yeah
it just occurred to me
that we get
we always get a fight
with our guests
but
we do it with everyone
yeah
oh yeah oh yeah that's all good man we do it with everyone yeah oh yeah
oh yeah
that's all good man
we can show you
we can show you
everyone is on there
well I
I don't actually believe you
but
yeah
not everyone gets to stand
on the table
and do a starter
we tried to get
Tim Bynes to do that
and he would have
who's having none of it
but I don't know
I think you're going to look
lovely the way
but we're just throwing you
between us
have you been happy
with the film
have you been happy
with it
yeah
yeah
it's been a lot of fun
I've done it
as part of the
as small as I can
yeah
not spend
not invest too much
in it
and just
just you know
my flyering
is a strong point of getting people in yeah so I've been small budget and I it and just, just, you know, my flyering is a strong point
of getting people in.
Yeah.
So I've been,
small budget
and I've been really happy with it.
You know,
it's an achievable goal
and almost there.
Almost there.
How long is that for now?
Six shows.
That's the one we're recording this.
It's six shows, isn't it?
Yeah.
Six shows.
Yeah.
Wow.
And then straight back down to London
to live your dream.
Live my dream.
Have you got gigs in and stuff?
Are you booked up
I've got a couple
of weekends booked
for this circus thing
yeah
that's money in the bank
yeah
and then I'm just
going to visit
as many clubs as I can
go hey look at me
I'm here
yeah
because I really suck
at emailing people
yeah
awful at texting as well
yeah
awful at texting
dreadful at texting
sorry
you had two days of panic not knowing whether or not you're coming or not people. Obviously awful at texting as well. Yeah awful at texting. Dreadful at texting. Sorry.
You had two days of panic not knowing
whether or not you're
coming or not.
And I have had no
credit.
No credit.
That's what you
found out.
I reckon first thing
you do when you get
down to London
contract fine.
Yeah I've got to
get a bank account
first.
Right bank account
right get yourself
a bank account.
Which is a really
hard thing apparently.
Is it?
If you don't have a driver's licence.
Which I do, but it's in Australian.
So it's a hard...
I should have brought it with you.
Here's what you need to do, right.
First thing we need to do is get back to London.
Okay.
New school uniform.
That's the first thing we're doing when you get back.
Get yourself a bank account.
Okay.
Contract phone.
Contract phone.
Yeah.
Who do you recommend?
That's that guy.
I'm with Orange.
Orange, so am I.
Orange, okay.
But I wouldn't say I recommend them particularly.
I'll tell you what, what they're good at is a nice little plug for Orange.
Yeah. They rang me up recently and said, you can upgrade your phone.
And I went, oh, I think I'm going to wait for the iPhone 5.
So I'm not going to upgrade it yet.
And they went, well, because of that, what are we going to do?
We're going to wait on this for the iPhone 5.
And your contract now is halved until that point. Oh, that to do? And I'm waiting on a wait list with FM5. And your contract
now is halved
until that point.
Oh, that's
lovely.
Your monthly
contract is halved
until that point.
Yeah.
And he didn't
need to tell me
that.
He could have
just said,
all right.
Yeah.
But he still
told me.
And now I'm
paying a half
that I was
paying a mum.
Once they've
heard that this
has definitely
gone on the
podcast, it's
halved.
Once they've
heard the plug.
Yeah.
That's the
agreement, isn't
it?
Well, I've not done all of it yet
right
and they said
oh yeah they do
say orange like
three or four times
in the podcast
okay so that's three now is it
yeah
they've got to say orange
blue
don't you count
that cancels one of the oranges
counteracting orange
do you know what
I wouldn't have a clue
to go with
I wouldn't even say
you definitely need to have
a contract with
I would just say, just text us back.
I think that's fair.
Yeah.
So the end of this podcast is going to be not just a plug for your show, but an apology.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for all the Australians coming in and taking all your women and all your jobs.
They don't take our women.
And all your beer.
They're not interested in
our women
are they not
no not
bothered
because they're
all puffs
and Fosters
is that a real
beer
no
in Australia
we don't drink
it
we actually
laugh at
we're always
laughing until
we realise that
Fosters isn't
even Australian
anymore is it not is it brilliant UK yeah so um what a little round up there it was nice laugh it. We were always laughing until we realised that Fosters isn't even Australian anymore.
Is it not?
Is it brilliant UK?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So,
I love a little round up there.
It was nice.
Well,
do you want to mention the products?
Because we've all
mentioned something now.
I should mention something,
shouldn't I?
What coffee are you drinking?
Oh,
a Costa,
a lovely big Costa coffee there.
Yeah.
I don't know why
I'm turning it around
to the mic,
the late one.
I'm going to show you there
the Costa.
That's it.
It's lovely.
It's very refreshing
on this 30 degree day
stupidly hot isn't it
next to an argo
that was Iman there
Iman Chakabudu
he said his own name
and you're still getting it wrong
Chakam
Chikichuchu
Chikacan
so that was Iman Chikacan
and obviously
we'll be back tomorrow
we've got an interview tomorrow
with
Angela Barnes
Angela Barnes Angela Barnes
filth
it was filth wasn't it
absolute filth
I tell you what
I can't tell you right
I know some of you
have a little wank
when you listen to these podcasts
mate
but tomorrow
mate what do you mean
I know some of you
have a little wank
when you're listening to these
I can't imagine that
people do things
that different to me
what I'm saying is
I'd imagine someone's
had a wank
with this on
in the background and I'm sure we got a message someone's had a wank with this on in the background
and I'm sure we got
a message saying
that someone had
had sex with it
on in the background
but no one has ever
had sex or wanked
because of it.
I couldn't have sex
with this on in the
background.
Well no, not you
because you wouldn't
be able to have sex
with your own voice
in the background
would you?
No, I once had sex
when...
I have trouble enough
listening to myself
just in the moment.
Yeah, the noises
you're making.
I once had sex and I was listening to John Williams in the moment yeah the noises you're making yeah I once had sex
and I was listening to
John Williams music
well that must have made it
seem everything quite epic
no because it was like
a best of John Williams
right
so it's like Star Wars
Superman
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Jaws
so it was switching up rhythms
in fact Jaws was
during a penis mouth
with the lady with the penis mouth
was it
yeah
yeah it was
yeah
wow
and it was
I did like half way through
and go
put side B on I think
because
yeah
side B is lesser known stuff
yeah
because it
it transported you to those films
they were just
they were two
and the rhythm three
you did it
yeah
two in my consciousness
Jaws probably
yeah
scared me
Jaws scared me
Jaws probably worked quite nicely
then it was horrible
Superman
it built
Superman didn't even
make me feel like
Superman
it was more like
I felt like Superman
might be on his way
it was weird
you thought Superman
might be on his way
to take the woman away
yeah
Imperial March
from Star Wars
I can't keep up with that
it's not sexy
it's not sexy at all
no no no
so that's my advice
don't do sex in
with John Williams
music in the background
we like you John Williams
I think you're brilliant
we think you're great, but...
Absolutely amazing.
Your music is not designed to bang to.
Yeah, you know for the old In-N-Out.
That's my phrase about John Williams.
Yeah.
So our show, Peacock and Gamble,
don't even want to be on telly anyway,
9.40 at the Pleasant Stone Dome for three more nights.
Yes, and you can come to that if you want.
And if you can't come to it,
we're going to start plugging the national tour as of today.
Peacockandgamble.com.
Check out... We are doing gigs everywhere that we're going to start plugging the national tour as of today. Peacockandgamble.com. Check out.
We are doing gigs everywhere that we can manage to do gigs.
Yeah.
So please have a look.
Some of them are at the end of this year.
Some of them are into next year, sort of February, March next year.
Have a look.
We're probably doing a gig near you.
I think wherever you live, you can probably get to one if you really want.
It's doable.
They're all doable, right?
And one of Richard Herring's tweets, one of the ones that was made sense yeah one time was he said my tour was on sale if i'm not doing a venue near you
it's because they didn't book me yeah so we will say that now for you as well yeah it's not because
we don't want to come to wherever you live yeah it's just it doesn't really work like that we
can't just don't send this message saying come to Taddington Chester, right?
Membery.
Come to Membery Services.
Because we can't, because we're not booked there, or you don't have a theatre.
If you want us to come somewhere, sort us a gig out of the theatre.
Yeah, do it yourself.
And then we'll come and do it.
And don't say, where can I buy tickets?
We are not a shop.
But also, think about it.
But come anyway.
Think about that, right?
There's a show on at the theatre, right?
Where would you buy tickets?
If you were going to go and see a film
yeah where would
you think just
think about it
think about it now
think about it I
tell you what we'll
leave you now we're
going to leave now
yeah you have a
little think about
that and we'll come
back tomorrow and
first thing we'll do
we'll check to see
if you've worked it
out yet
yeah
the Peacock and
Gamble Edinburgh
podcast is a ready
production hosted by
chortle.co.uk
today's guest was Iman Hachiti
and my show is A Little Perspective with Iman.
It's on at midnight at the Guild of the Moon.
All music by Thomas Funn and the Ray.
See you tomorrow.
Bye.
That's alright.
You added bye to it though.
Yeah, you've added bye.
You're ripping on it though.
We're basically testing all the comments to see if
they can do it right
or not
if you add a word
that is doing it wrong
really
well you know what
fuck you