The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 9 (Marek Larwood)

Episode Date: November 8, 2020

"Edinburgh Fringe 2012 Episode 9 (Marek Larwood)" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 94 of 128....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Pickle and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Because it's on air, Peacock and Gamble's not playing Gamble, but it is right. Peacock and it is out, Gamble. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Here they are. I mean, I'll be honest with you, I think there are spiders living in that. Oh yeah, are we straight in with this, are we? This is the Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh Fringe Podcast.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Put an extra word in it now. Yeah, you have, haven't you? Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh Fringe Podcast. You've made it exactly like Richard Herring's now. Is that what he says? Yeah. All right, well, it's not that. Right.
Starting point is 00:00:48 Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh Podcast. Peacock and Gamble Glasgow Podcast. Thank you. I'm Ray Peavey. Hello, I'm Ed Gamble. And Ed Gamble in some distress. Yeah, I've got a big spot on my neck in front of it. I don't think it is a spot.
Starting point is 00:01:00 I don't think it's a spot. I think it's a bug's house. So, basically, it feels like a little egg. And I really think you should come to the show tonight, guys. Well, it's been and gone since the show.
Starting point is 00:01:09 It was last night. But you've probably read in the news already that Ed Gamble has sadly passed on after being on stage and 17 spiders crawling out of his neck
Starting point is 00:01:19 from a neck egg that had arisen just from the day before which he had caught off Ray, who was a carrier. No, it looks like you were on an exploratory mission. Yeah. Just straight off to Prometheus. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:34 You've been on an exploratory mission. You've been separated from the group. Yeah. And now you've turned up bat with that. Yeah. And we're all going, oh, that's quite nasty, isn't it? But we don't know. We don't know.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Jump out of your neck and kill everyone. Just give them a jump out of the neck. No, I think the baby will jump out of the neck. Then it will find a little... It will find somewhere warm to live. Maybe in your bread. Right. And then you will go and get some toast one day and it will jump out.
Starting point is 00:01:53 I've just bought that nice bread from Sainsbury's. Yeah, I think... But I'm sorry, mate. But unfortunately, I think my neck egg's going to hatch and the spiders are going to live in your nice bread from Sainsbury's. That's popping up my bread. Yeah, sorry, mate. I just spent £28 in Sainsbury's. That's popping up in my bread. Yeah, sorry mate. I just spent £28 in Sainsbury's.
Starting point is 00:02:07 Yeah. Imagine that. Imagine that. And it's a Sainsbury's local, so I only got three things. It's ridiculously priced.
Starting point is 00:02:13 Yeah, well you shouldn't have gone there then. Well where else are we going to go then? Go and buy me something in the middle of the road?
Starting point is 00:02:18 There's a cost cutter across the road. Is there? Yeah. Well from us? Yeah. We're giving a lot away about our
Starting point is 00:02:23 location aren't we? Yeah. What the f*** is that Brunsfield place? Yeah, fair comment. How's that? Yeah, top buzzer. Someone buzzed on the door earlier. Did they?
Starting point is 00:02:33 Yeah. Salesman? Yeah, well, not really. Man from a charity. They were... Can you let me into the building? Did you? No.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Well, they were in the stairwell when I just came in. Well, I didn't let them in. Two blokes, and they looked like Christians, I'll be honest with you. No, they weren't Christians. They When I just came in Well I didn't let them in So you're blokes And they look like Christians I'll be honest with you No they weren't Christians They were from a charity And I said I don't normally live here He said his name was Andy
Starting point is 00:02:50 I said I don't normally Live here Andy And I wouldn't feel right Letting someone into the building And I'm too busy To give you anything So I'm sorry Andy Plus
Starting point is 00:02:57 I've got a big thing on my neck Yeah plus Andy I don't want you to come in Because I'm worried That a spider's going to Jump up my neck And eat your brain Yeah and obviously
Starting point is 00:03:04 You're ashamed of yourself. Yeah, exactly. You're only like this, haven't you? Yeah. Just won't leave because of your pimple. Yeah, anyway, anyone seeing the show last night would have seen that I was wearing a polo neck. In reality, our show last night, so it wasn't the night you're listening to it, is the night before that. Just call it Tuesday for sure.
Starting point is 00:03:25 No. On Tuesday night, that show was lovely. That was all sold out. That was great, yeah. Monday night all sold out. Yeah, lovely. We're expecting a drop-off on the Wednesday night. Expecting a drop-off, although my dad's coming
Starting point is 00:03:34 with my brother and sister. Do you know what? I'm, I think, more nervous about your dad coming to the show than I would be about my dad coming. Really? Yeah, well, actually now my dad had just, he'd just shut up shop. Yeah. He'd literally just sit there'd just shut up shop. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:45 He'd literally just sit there and just shut up shop. Well, your dad simply wouldn't come, would he? He wouldn't come, no. No, he wouldn't come. But also, you know, if it was for, if it happened by accident, like some sort of prank. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:55 And he found... If someone punked your dad. Yeah, and he found himself. He'd go, hey, come over here, meatloaf's on. Yeah, meatloaf's... Ooh, give us some of that. Meatloaf's playing in a celebrity rugby league match. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:04:05 Yeah, for sure. Right, and then it's like, no, ha ha, surprise, surprise, you're actually coming to see your son. You're actually here to support your son
Starting point is 00:04:12 doing comedy. He'd probably just have a sleep. Yeah, yeah. Oh, well, I won't put that past my dad. Having a sleep? Yeah, having a little sleep.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Really? Well, it depends on how many pints he's had. He once came and saw me, I used to play in an orchestra at school when I played the bassoon. Yeah, little known
Starting point is 00:04:25 fact, but you did. And he went to see some rugby union, I'd say rugby union because it's your ear. Oh, there we go. Sorry, my seagulls
Starting point is 00:04:36 are playing up a bit. Oh, right, sorry. I think some of them can smell the death from my neck. Actually, look, it's not seagulls, it's vultures. Actually, looking, it's not seagulls,
Starting point is 00:04:46 it's vultures. Oh, here they come. It's some vultures just circling around. Here they come to peck the rotting flesh. Do you know what that is? Puberty, that. No, it's not puberty, mate.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Puberty, mate. It's not puberty. Your body's changing, that's all it is. Yeah, my body's changing into some sort of massive boil. It's horrific. Puberty.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Anyway, so my dad came to see me. He'd been to see me from Rugby Union. Right. And he'd downed a lot of pints during the day, I think. And then I sort of cast my eyes over in his direction and I was playing my bassoon solo. Fast asleep, snoring.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Really? Snoring, right. And everyone around him could smell the alcohol. Now, I have to say, he does not have a problem with alcohol. Now I'm going to get in trouble you are again again what do we do if we
Starting point is 00:05:28 if he does that tonight though what's our plan of action it's good it's not an enormous room is it so we'll see it we'll see it especially if it's quiet tonight
Starting point is 00:05:35 I won't smell it we could play the game that I like to play when he falls asleep just in the living room what's that see how many things you could chuck it in
Starting point is 00:05:41 before waking him up that's the best thing to do we've got we've got quite a big set haven't we can I just can I pick up one of the flats and just throw it out see how many things you could chuck it in before waking him up. That's the best thing to do. We've got quite a big set, haven't we? Can I just, can I pick up one of the flats and just throw it out? You don't start with that.
Starting point is 00:05:50 You start with soft things like cushions or socks. Darts. And then as you move on, we can build up to darts in the entire set. We've got darts in our set as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:57 Chuck a dart out of it. Yeah, chuck a dart out of it. Alright, it's a shame that we're recording this yesterday and you can't come to this show. Yeah. Because if you could come to the show last night,
Starting point is 00:06:04 that's the night when B-Gog and Gamble chucked darts at Ed's dad't come to this show. Yeah. Because if you could come to the show last night, that's the night when Big O can go and we'll chuck darts at Ed's dad. Because he was asleep. Yeah. Yeah. And hopefully he'll chuck one back and plop my neck. This could be the perfect night.
Starting point is 00:06:13 This could be the night where they go, do you know what? We are going to nominate them this year. They set up lovely things. Yeah. So today's guest, we've got Merrick Larwood coming up. Yeah, Merrick Larwood. The comedian. Comedian. Actor. Actor. Man. So today's guest, we've got Marek Larwood coming up. Yeah, Marek Larwood. The comedian. Comedian.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Actor. Actor. Man. Entrepreneur. Entrepreneur. Entrepreneur. A love machine. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Bald. Bald. All those things. Yeah. Is he deliberately bald, is he, Marek? Deliberately bald. Does he shave it, does he? I have no idea, you know.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Looks like he shaves it to me. These are just some of the questions we didn't ask Marek. Yeah. He was in We Are Clangers. Yeah. Is that what we're calling him? Yeah, he was in We Are Clangers with Greg Davies and Steve Hall. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Do you know what? When you see him, when he comes on, you'll go, oh, it's him. Yeah, when you see him. Yeah, when the audience now, they're like,
Starting point is 00:06:56 here he comes, Marek Low, and they'll go, oh, it's him. You know this isn't visual? What do you mean? This is just audio. How many have we done? What was it?
Starting point is 00:07:02 Actually, nine this or something? This is number nine. So you've watched me come in here every day, putting a suit on, and it's not cold in this flat. Putting the suit on, doing it,
Starting point is 00:07:13 and I have to have a shower before the bath, and I didn't actually do any of that. Yeah, well, that's the only way I could get you in the shower. If you'd have said to me, come and get in the shower with me,
Starting point is 00:07:20 I would have done it. Mate, you look lovely in that suit. Thank you. And no mistake. It's just not cricket alright well thank you very much for that lovely compliment but I want to start
Starting point is 00:07:32 doing it in Miss Crofts and I've been seeing Marek's show now I think in the interview at some point I might say I'm going to go and see his show
Starting point is 00:07:38 or I've not seen his show but I have now seen it and it was blooming excellent these are all technicalities that you'll have to deal with as you listen to the interview. Don't forget that our show, Peacock and Gumball, don't even want to be on telly anyway,
Starting point is 00:07:49 is at 9.40 every night at the Pleasant Stone. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, if you get the chance unless you miss it because you're too busy still telling the taxi driver where you want him to take you. Yeah, to be singing at a box office. Yeah. But here's our interview with Marek Larr... Oh, well done, mate! Marek Larrwood.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Man of Giggle. Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Here we are now with Mark Larrwood. Marek Larrwood. Hello, Mark. Funny you said it
Starting point is 00:08:21 because it's exactly the same thing as Richard Herring said yesterday. Did he really say that? Yeah, he made a similar sort of joke. Did he? Yeah. Right, well... He made exactly the same thing Richard Herring said yesterday did he really say that yeah he made a similar sort of joke did he yeah right
Starting point is 00:08:26 he made exactly the same joke but one day I can't believe it I'm genuinely going to cut it out and how was Mr Richard
Starting point is 00:08:34 Herring's podcast that you did I think he's a dangerous man why he's masquerading as a comic yeah
Starting point is 00:08:40 but I mean you did his podcast before mine oh yeah and it went AWOL probably because you were funny when he probably
Starting point is 00:08:46 binned it it was exactly that he went oh the sound quality is not good enough then he meant his quality wasn't good enough
Starting point is 00:08:52 and our quality was too high what you said but a longer way of saying it I like the way you said it better what happened with me
Starting point is 00:09:00 I came on and you started attacking me just reattacking me we should start using our podcast as like a sort of debrief
Starting point is 00:09:07 for people who've been on Ritchie and Herring the real story yeah really nice backstage oh thank you for doing this well we discussed that
Starting point is 00:09:15 you get on stage and then he starts attacking you like oh who's in the crowd all your mates at the front all these people
Starting point is 00:09:21 that are there every day licking his balls pouring at his greasy hair and then laughing at all these jokes he's just laughing at the intonation
Starting point is 00:09:30 Perry well I'm sorry that you didn't enjoy that how was it afterwards were you friends afterwards
Starting point is 00:09:38 I just went did you yeah I just came out of the stand and I ran and ran and ran and now you're here yeah I've just been running for the stand and I ran and ran and ran and now you're here yeah
Starting point is 00:09:46 I've just been running for the last day I missed my show I just started running until the pain went are you having a nice show? it's alright is it your first solo?
Starting point is 00:09:57 this is my first solo show in case people stop listening to me talking I'm going to plug it now and that's the end yeah yeah yeah go for it it's at 6.20 at the Pleasance.
Starting point is 00:10:06 It's called Typecast. It's basically based on the fact that I Googled myself at the start of the year, and the top search was Maric Larwood retarded. And I realised I'd become Typecast. I've done a show about that. I mean, to be honest, my flyerer, I've caught him.
Starting point is 00:10:23 Basically, he goes out at five o'clock, has a cigarette break until 10 to 6 he's one person the flyer at like 5 53 yeah and has a cigarette again i'm have been getting like 20 people in i could do with a few more people that's 20 people from one flyer that's not bad going it's a massive flyer yeah that's really good that's yeah like an eight foot thing yeah that's right like a net what so he just he actually rams people up within the flyer and they
Starting point is 00:10:49 inside the flyer I mean yeah the roof of the building lifts off and they get pulled in I mean a few of them are dead by the time
Starting point is 00:10:56 I got out of the warden but I mean some of those actually have been reacting the best the dead ones but are you enjoying doing the show though
Starting point is 00:11:02 there's a couple I didn't enjoy and now I'm actually quite enjoying them now. I think it's quite good. It is a good show. If you like fun and you like laughing,
Starting point is 00:11:10 come and see my show because you're bound to have a good time. What do you think about that for a jingle? Try that again. If you like fun and
Starting point is 00:11:15 you like laughing, come and see my show because you're bound to have a good time. I slightly changed it that time. Yeah, I like that. Do you want to try it?
Starting point is 00:11:22 Okay. If you like fun and you like laughing, why don't you come and see Marek's show? You'll have a good time. Nope. If you like fun and you like laughing, go and see Marek's show.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Much nicer. You'll have a good time. You didn't do the last bit, you forgot. He didn't need to. He didn't need to. He did that sort of falsetto, you know, doing the X Factor when they say words. He did like runs on it. Yeah, people are going X Factor when they say words like that yeah
Starting point is 00:11:45 like runs on it yeah people go and do runs when they start talking to people which is what I do are you bothered about being time cast in real life
Starting point is 00:11:53 a little bit because it's quite boring what's boring basically what happens is in sitcoms everyone's seen there's always
Starting point is 00:11:59 certain sort of characters and there's always like a sort of stupid mongery you're not on Richard Herring's podcast. You're not on Richard Herring's podcast. I hate Herring.
Starting point is 00:12:09 You just get the same things over again and I like to do something a bit different. I'm good at playing the fool but it's just a bit boring.
Starting point is 00:12:16 It drives me insane. I've done warm up on some stuff that you've been in and you wander around whining that you're on telly. What?
Starting point is 00:12:26 Wander around a TV studio going, oh, I hate this. I hate this. I'm in a programme getting paid for it. I hate all this, mate. Yeah, Red Fence. Very good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:41 Yeah, Red Fence. We should fool people that it's going to be an interview and then for the last 20 minutes of it, just rolling right in red It's the best thing you can do When you're feeling really depressed just before you go on and do your show you just do that Yay! Red face!
Starting point is 00:12:58 It's worth displaying to see the show to see me do that isn't it? Are you doing different characters? No, no. It's it's just no what is it please I set the whole premise of the show that I've been
Starting point is 00:13:08 typecast and I'm trying to break down that typecast by doing different sort of things genres and stuff
Starting point is 00:13:12 like that and it's quite it's almost scientific really but with loads of jokes in it do you know what I mean it's such fun
Starting point is 00:13:19 to do and everyone comes out of it and they're so happy and it's so great seeing people change people's lives in under 50 minutes
Starting point is 00:13:28 I think god this is just really brilliant you can't see Maric now listen obviously but just to set up what's happening he's sort of mumbling
Starting point is 00:13:35 these identities while he's found a bit of thread and he's playing with it like a serial killer can I just draw some tears on your face no
Starting point is 00:13:42 I'm not like you about this though where did you get yourself in that mood? What mood? That mood of going, oh, I don't like this. I don't like being in this. I think I'm shy.
Starting point is 00:13:51 I get quite stressed. It's quite frustrating when you just go on and you just do one line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There aren't any jokes in the line. Yeah. And they've just got you to do,
Starting point is 00:13:59 look stupid. Yeah. And they did a bit where they said, oh, we didn't do a scene where you've got to dance around and do something stupid. We haven't written it. Just do a scene where you've got to dance around and do something stupid we haven't written it just do it
Starting point is 00:14:06 so I've got to take my top off and dance around because you haven't written it and you're just going to go you just do that
Starting point is 00:14:12 and we're going to write everyone else's lines but you have to just do something funny there and then just do and do that yeah I was going to
Starting point is 00:14:19 get rid of that just the thing we always do at the end but don't worry about it don't worry about it it's not you don't have to do it you can be one
Starting point is 00:14:26 of the ones that didn't do it so what sort of parts are you after then Marek maybe we can use this as a platform to I like disco
Starting point is 00:14:32 you like disco yeah yeah yeah I've been watching the gymnastics and I think I could do one of those be one of those so it's not just
Starting point is 00:14:41 you want to get out of acting and comedy completely you want to do like sports and dancing I want to be a sports actor so it's not you want to get out of acting and comedy completely you want to do like sports and dancing I want to be a sports actor so you know when people see the Olympics
Starting point is 00:14:49 they go I wish I'd been at the Olympics to actually do reruns of the Olympics but me playing like Jessica Ennis and stuff like that recreating it
Starting point is 00:14:57 but I'll just dress up as her so you want to remake the Olympics yeah the best bits of it like some rowing bits and that and just redo it as me as the, and then people in the class.
Starting point is 00:15:08 I think that's a really good idea. Would it be played for laughs, or just an exact recreation of what happens? Yeah, exactly the same, yeah. I mean, the commentators might have funny moustaches at the end of it, and that would be it. That'd be the only thing. That'd be the only thing, just to play people who don't know it's real, because you'd probably get done for copyright, wouldn't you? I don't know, I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:15:26 I've got a real feeling I'm still in bed. I think I'm still in bed fast asleep. Yeah. Because I've been disturbed from my slumber, by the way, by Marek, who decided he wants to come around three hours early. Look, Marek came around here because he thought it was going to be a gentle, relaxing... Yeah, it has been a gentle and relaxing, hasn't it? He thought, I'll come around here because these two nice boys after the horrible Mr Herring yesterday. And he's come around and all it's been generally relaxing, hasn't it? I'll come round here and see these two nice boys after the horrible Mr Herring yesterday.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Yeah. And he's come round and all it's been so far is, oh, you're walking around like you don't want to be on the tour. Oh, no, no, I wasn't. You've woken me up. I am tired,
Starting point is 00:15:53 but there wasn't any competition. I was genuinely asking. I'm really grateful for my opportunities and I really enjoy it. I thank you for where I am today. I thank God and I thank my parents. And I thank the people in agencies who have given me work.
Starting point is 00:16:05 Alright? What shall we talk about now? Have you had a pep talk before this, Edinburgh? No. Has somebody told you you've got to promote yourself good and you've got to be a good boy? No, not at all. Not at all? You're on your own? So this is really you then? I'm just promoting it all myself. Yeah. Because I wanted to
Starting point is 00:16:21 because I left my old agent. Yeah. And I decided to because I left my old agent and I decided to do it myself and it's actually promoting it it's not as much work as you think in terms of office time
Starting point is 00:16:32 and it's not that and a lot of the comics get charged a hell of a lot of money for having their shows promoted and it's basically two days of admin
Starting point is 00:16:39 and it's quite scandalous when you do it yourself I think actually it's not as much work as they make out Now you've felt that will you now always do Edinburgh off your own back? I think it's quite scandalous when you do it yourself I think actually that's not as much work as they make out now you've felt that will you now always do Edinburgh on your own back
Starting point is 00:16:48 I think so I think you do feel quite alone when it comes to flowering and stuff like that and it is the first few days are really stressful
Starting point is 00:16:56 when you're you're getting up to PR people contacting you directly you're trying to get your show ready yeah you've got tech problems and you have to be a bit of an arsehole
Starting point is 00:17:05 yourself as opposed to someone else coming in and saying this isn't right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that is really stressful. But it's just financial reasons really. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:13 We did a bit of flyer in on our show the other day. Yeah. Me and Ed outside the dome. I don't think we're very good at it. I am good at it. I am good at it, right?
Starting point is 00:17:20 Okay. There's a flyer over there but I'm giving you the flyer, right? Imagine that in real life. How much are tickets to see this? That, that, that,
Starting point is 00:17:29 I've got no idea. I'd pay double. Thanks. I'll pay double the going price. Thank you. You did tell someone a thousand pounds as well, when they asked. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:37 They said, how much is that? You went a thousand pounds. Yeah, that was stupid. So they didn't come. Imagine that though, if you asked a million people,
Starting point is 00:17:42 and you said it was a thousand pounds. Why would I pay it? You need to sell like 10-12 tickets and then you're right we should do that 12 tickets where is there a million people
Starting point is 00:17:50 Olympics Olympics yeah the Olympics with flyers yeah exactly and there's going to be some rich people there as well yeah and then you and you can come anywhere
Starting point is 00:17:58 because you need to watch it to recreate all of it for your yeah I could and also maybe I could pay for a space in the back of your flyer
Starting point is 00:18:05 saying coming soon Marek's Marek's Real Olympics Real Olympics that's great yeah that's great
Starting point is 00:18:12 I can't wait to see this what things are you interested in so I get an idea what to do first I'm not see the thing is I'm not interested at all in the Olympics
Starting point is 00:18:19 not even not even that what about what about nope and nah absolutely not but surely the nope thank you Not even Not even that Whatever it was What about Nope And Nah Absolutely not
Starting point is 00:18:26 But surely the Nope thank you Hello Pick up and gamble Pick up and gamble Edit point What happened there Is Merrick said
Starting point is 00:18:35 Something offensive What about Merrick You can be offensive I don't mind Honestly I'm not really That offensive person All I'm worried about
Starting point is 00:18:44 Is the time Of ticking the clock now Because we've probably done 15 minutes but he's got a sweat on thinking fringe show, my show my show got to promote my show no I'm not, I'm just thinking I want this to be the best experience for everyone and I'm always I'm always sweating I find that
Starting point is 00:18:58 the last few days I've been on a permanent dump there's a constant sheen across the head that's another sweat thing though isn't it where did it come from? I don't know. I get it as well. I think it's a lot more walking than normal, isn't it? A lot more walking and just a general level of raised stress. Is it something to do with the mist, the sea mist collecting on you? I don't know. I think there's a closeness to Edinburgh often.
Starting point is 00:19:21 And I think it can often make you feel hot even though it's cold that's exactly right it's a very odd experience some meteorologist or some
Starting point is 00:19:31 who are the people that deal with glands firemen firemen some firemen should look into this and then do some
Starting point is 00:19:39 experiments on the weather the sea mist yeah the sea mist that's all collecting on your head and if they send firemen up here
Starting point is 00:19:45 to do it or if they come from somewhere else in Scotland hey come watch the show while you're here that is brilliant
Starting point is 00:19:54 was that a plug to try and get firemen into the show yeah go and see Merrick then go and see us it's the best fun
Starting point is 00:20:01 you'll have all week my show's really anti-firemen though so it's fine ours is very pro-fireman I like the fireman in ours we should start
Starting point is 00:20:08 we've got a fireman in ours we've got a pole in ours just in case a what? a pole? yeah fireman's pole
Starting point is 00:20:14 just in case there's one there that is I mean that's incredible foresight what about if I was a sailor? yeah
Starting point is 00:20:22 what have you got for me there? I'm going to do a different job I'm going to tell you how I'm doing there? I'm going to do a different job. I'm going to say, don't eat your biscuit when I'm doing this. All right. And I'm going to tell you the absolute truth.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Okay. What do sailors, where do they work? In the sea. Yeah. What on? Boats. What's one of the biggest threats to boats? Sharks.
Starting point is 00:20:42 No, sharks don't really affect the boats so much. What's one of the biggest threats to boats that are coming home? Waves. Rocks. Rocks. Why? Because they can break the hull, the water will come in and the sailors will drown. Where's me and Ed's show set?
Starting point is 00:20:57 On a rock. In a lighthouse. Thank you very much. Really? Yeah. It's got a full lighthouse set. We're inside a lighthouse. So sailors... Look at his little eye. He's choking on his biscuit. That's incredible. I'm not going to get it for you. It's digested full lighthouse set. We're inside a lighthouse. So sailors... Look at his little eye.
Starting point is 00:21:05 He's choking on his biscuit. That is incredible. I'm not going to get it for you the rest of this digested. Oh, actually... You can't... So you said, what if I'm a sailor?
Starting point is 00:21:14 I'm going to tell you that's what, mate. So you can do firemen. You can do sailors. Yeah. How about this? Go on. I'm a coach driver.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Oh, you're a coach driver. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what we've got for you to make you feel at home. All right. We've parked the Golden Boy right outside. Great big coach're a coach driver, yeah? Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what we've got for you, make you feel at home. All right. We've parked the Golden Boy right outside. Great big coach, Golden Boy.
Starting point is 00:21:28 I don't know, I don't know, I've been reminded of my work. For a coach driver, we've got seats. They love seats. And a coach driver always likes a seat, doesn't he? Loads of empty seats, so he feels like he's just driving it back home after a long day at work. And you've got a microphone, so he can do the actual, we'll just, so, point, wave, and do stuff. Yeah, yeah, do all that. Thank you for your journey.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Thank you for your, I hope you enjoyed the ride. Something like that. I don't know, what do they say? Is this another character you can do? I'm not doing this character. I might do this next year. The coach driver. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:00 And it'll be like a tour on the way up to Edinburgh with all the places. We're going past Doncaster. So your Edinburgh show next year will end up in Doncaster? It'll be on the road. Your show will be the journey to Edinburgh? Yeah. That's good.
Starting point is 00:22:13 So when you get there and then the Fringe has started, you're done already? Do the show, write on toilet paper, stick it to the back of Trump's head, and then I go home. Have you got a girlfriend, Mark? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, mate. What does she think about you? his head and I go home have you got a girlfriend Mark yeah yeah what does she think about you I think she thinks
Starting point is 00:22:30 I'm bald I don't mean what does she notice about you oh right I think she thinks I'm nice yeah lovely
Starting point is 00:22:37 she's a nice lady she's coming up soon okay are you looking forward to her coming out yeah I am also I think
Starting point is 00:22:43 it's quite difficult when you've got partners coming to the fringe for the first I am also I think it's quite difficult when you've got partners coming to the fringe for the first time they don't realise it's actually work and stress
Starting point is 00:22:50 yeah yeah and I'm filming this show called Impractical Jokers it's a hidden camera show 10 days in Edinburgh so I'm going to be filming it like
Starting point is 00:22:57 9 to 5 then getting back and doing my show and then I'm going to be in big trouble man so you're almost going to be in big trouble, man. So you're almost going to be no use to her?
Starting point is 00:23:09 Yeah. And by, you know, not because of anything she's doing, but and her to you because it's like you're too busy. It's a really difficult time, isn't it, for like people around, unless they know that you've got... Unless they know, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:22 It's an interesting thing because people that don't know and don't get it really don't get it. How difficult it is and how detached you need to be from that. What I'd advise, mate, is just before she comes up, get loads of pussy before we're done.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Just while you're not as busy now. Really just get on it and get as much pussy as possible. That's what all the proper comedians are doing, right? And we're just done. You can come out on the pussy hunt with us. Come out with us on the pussy hunt. Me, you two, and Steve Kamos. Nice.
Starting point is 00:23:53 Yeah, definitely. He can lead the way. We just cover all bases. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what other bases we cover? We cover fun. Who's fun? Which one is fun?
Starting point is 00:24:05 Amos. Amos is the fun, nice. That We cover fun. Who's fun? Which one is fun? Yeah, this is fun. Amos. Amos is the fun, nice. That's his base. That's amazing. I didn't realise that's what base he was covering. Kindness. Is that it? That's kind, okay.
Starting point is 00:24:13 That's fine, right? You don't have to be nice. And these are all the things that women look for, is it? Yeah. Excitement. Is that right? Our fans, right? And Marek will be covering?
Starting point is 00:24:22 Touching. Touching. Marek does the touching. So we've got Stephen K Moss doing the fun so Stephen K Moss goes in he's like hey girl
Starting point is 00:24:30 how's it going he does the accent first yeah okay and then yeah yeah and then switches on them I think he would do the accent yeah
Starting point is 00:24:36 alright okay he makes out he does an accent and gets them in so do you want me to well you're going to have to unfortunately aren't you well
Starting point is 00:24:42 I mean you're looking at me like I'd have any shame hello there girls nice to see you I am just here with me and three friends Well, you're going to have to, unfortunately, aren't you? Well, I mean, you're looking at me like I'd have any shame. Hello there, girls. Nice to see you. I am just here with me and three friends at the Fringe. And the reveal? Actually, no, I'm quite posh.
Starting point is 00:24:54 And they're in. Right, right, lovely. They're in. Right, and then I'm in. I'm straight in. Here comes Ellie with some kindness. Oh, hi, Stephen. I hope you're all right.
Starting point is 00:25:01 Hi, girls. You all look very lovely This evening And may I say I think whoever Your previous partner was I don't think they treated you As one as Very very good Very good
Starting point is 00:25:11 Then Ray comes in Being a bit exciting Yeah So Oh Tell you what I could hit any of you At any point
Starting point is 00:25:18 I could literally Hit you in the face At any point Danger Yeah I probably won't Because she's a nice laugh and then I put my hands
Starting point is 00:25:27 on them yeah so Merrick you come in I just put my hands straight on them yeah on their face breasts
Starting point is 00:25:32 arms whatever bits are sticking out the most breasts usually okay then then yeah and then we've got them so that's it
Starting point is 00:25:39 perfect that's tonight's word so far are you enjoying it more or less than being in an ensemble like when you
Starting point is 00:25:49 came to the clan for three years it's a very different experience let me tell you because we talked to Greg as well Greg said that he
Starting point is 00:25:57 well we asked him about which he preferred yeah and he said he felt more validated as a stand up as I recall he felt that was something
Starting point is 00:26:05 he had to do in a credibility sense but we discussed the thing but we really liked when we said we liked that the idea of
Starting point is 00:26:13 when it's a bit of a struggle and it's a bit harder and that it's not I mean as in when it's happening when you're doing the gig
Starting point is 00:26:19 it's nice to look and see someone there with you it's nice to have that sort of you know that scrum feel about it.
Starting point is 00:26:26 Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm cheating a bit this year because my friend Sophie Black, who was in the Tongues, who's fantastic in my
Starting point is 00:26:33 show, was not as a sort of bit of a stooge in places to have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's difficult to be on stage for 50
Starting point is 00:26:41 minutes just talking. I personally find it quite boring listening to one person just bang on I think in terms of the difference between for Clang
Starting point is 00:26:49 for me in Clang I didn't talk I had the time to mess around and pull faces and do stuff because Greg was
Starting point is 00:26:56 the leader the spokesman of the group so I just intercut and say things so it was a lot more a lot less stressful
Starting point is 00:27:05 and a lot less to worry about and you can just look stupid whereas when you're going when the whole script's on you
Starting point is 00:27:11 I find it quite difficult talking for 55 minutes and I suppose it's more stressful when it's your name on it as well yeah definitely it's hanging on your name
Starting point is 00:27:18 rather than yeah there's a lot and you feel like you're going to get you feel like the pressure when you've been up it's not like I'm doing I'm new I feel like I'm going to be, you feel like the pressure, when you've been up, it's not like I'm doing,
Starting point is 00:27:25 I'm new, I feel like I'm going to be judged, because Steve and Greg have done it before, and you know, Steve was really, really great, I don't know if he got what he deserved, and then Greg had a brilliant run,
Starting point is 00:27:37 and you can compare to them, so it is a bit stressful, I'm not the traditional stand-up, I might do stand-up, I do, some of them do well, and other times, I just die horribly on my arm. Do you still, have you stopped doing stand-up, I'd do, sometimes I'd do well, and other times, I'd just die horribly on my arm.
Starting point is 00:27:46 Do you still, have you stopped doing stand-up? Yeah. Completely? Well, I'm actually doing the BBC gig tonight. So he's not. For cash, even though I haven't done anything
Starting point is 00:27:53 for two years. Right. How much? 75 quid. Uh, yeah. So, so the price on your, I mean, this is lovely, Murray, the price on your,
Starting point is 00:28:05 I mean, this is lovely, Murray, the price on your retirement, because most people go, oh, you know, you know, he stopped doing it, oh, he stopped doing it. Oh, maybe in 20 years' time, people will go,
Starting point is 00:28:12 hey, look, sunshine boys. Hey, hey, we're going to give you over $500,000. $500,000. He's come back and he's been a big comeback, a big comeback.
Starting point is 00:28:24 And basically, BBC have rung you up in the first week of the fringe and bunged you 75 quid and you've come back. You'll be the big comeback the big comeback and basically BBC everyone get up in the first week of the fringe and bunged your 75 quid and you've come back you'll be on at midnight 75 quid
Starting point is 00:28:30 yeah I've looked at how much I'm going to lose and I've got literally a really cold sort of thing of shit I've got if I do this
Starting point is 00:28:40 and I can do well I mean I haven't done that for two years I just get some old stuff out of a book somewhere I haven't got my book with me I just try and I can do well, I mean, I haven't done something like that for two years. I just get some old stuff out of a book somewhere. I haven't got my book with me. I just try and remember. I'm just relieved to see you're back on the circuit, mate.
Starting point is 00:28:51 I think it's amazing that you're back. I do like it a lot. It's because I love it. Is it when you do stand-up, it's character? Is that right? Yeah, yeah. So I'm going to do my Brian character, who is basically a bloke who's trying to write a film,
Starting point is 00:29:06 who's a sex offender. Right. And what upset me is a lot of people would say, oh, you're doing that paedophile character again, and I've never made any paedophile jokes about it, or I'm just a sex offender, which is pretty bad, but it's slightly better than that.
Starting point is 00:29:19 But that's another typecast, isn't it? Yeah. Never mind. Being typecast as a paedophile. That's it again. That's it again, yeah. It does happen again
Starting point is 00:29:25 yeah it just happened to me again I think one day you should just do it if everyone thinks that you're doing
Starting point is 00:29:30 like a paedophile character you should just go and be a sex offender maybe I have oh exclusive
Starting point is 00:29:35 no I didn't I think he has definitely no he's a very nice man he's a very nice man yeah
Starting point is 00:29:43 he's very nice he's really really nice so he is a very nice man yeah he's very nice he's really really nice so you know would you go obviously you've got your big comeback tonight at BBC
Starting point is 00:29:52 I can't believe it if it goes well if it goes well tonight is that are you back on are you back on the horse are you back on the circuit when
Starting point is 00:29:58 Bart Thomas goes out well battle logs I think it'd be about four days from now this would be you'll probably have heard about this gig. It's Sunday now.
Starting point is 00:30:08 This could be Black Sunday. It could be a Blue Sunday. Think about it. It could be a Pink Sunday. You do that gig tonight. It's £75, right? Yeah. They're going,
Starting point is 00:30:18 Do you know what, mate? We love that. You take the note. We'll give you £78. We'll have you back next week for 78 pounds. 78 pounds? Right, so then you've got your original 75 pounds, you've got another 78.
Starting point is 00:30:30 I've got 153 bloody quid. I know you have mate, 153 quid. And you're in your amour. And I'm still halfway to go to the Venn Festival. And all you're doing mate, all you're having to do is get on that bloody stage and use your God-given talents on that stage. Tell them, tell them, listen.
Starting point is 00:30:44 Listen. Listen to me! I am good at it! I'm good at this! This is going really well! How long do you have to do? It's only 15 minutes. I mean, if I get it down to six words a minute, that is approximately 60 signs. I think that's 90 words.
Starting point is 00:31:04 All it is is 90 words. Three long sentences away from 75. Just think of it like that. Sounds bad, does it? Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. You're out there tomorrow with 75 pounds in your little pocket
Starting point is 00:31:19 and you can go and spend some of it. You can go out and spend it. What do you think you'd buy with your 75 pounds, Merrick? I think I'll buy a postcard. Yeah. What would you like on it? I'd like either the Queen or a Scottish image. Right.
Starting point is 00:31:35 Guess how much you've got. £75. You can get both of them. Okay. I'll get two postcards then. One with the Queen, one with the Scottish image. One with the Scottish image. I'll get a laminated map of Scotland. Yeah one with the Scottish image one with the Scottish image I'll get a
Starting point is 00:31:45 laminated map of Scotland yeah why laminated the weather yeah and other difficulties
Starting point is 00:31:54 I'm going to get how much have I got left I've been planning this quite a lot so if I
Starting point is 00:32:01 get a postcard it'll be about 50p each yeah okay one pound well if you have an eliminated amount okay so you've still got 71 quid left I've been planning this. Quite a lot. So, I reckon your postcard would be about 50p each. Yeah. Okay. One pound, well, if you have an eliminated amount.
Starting point is 00:32:07 Okay. So, you've still got 71 quid left. Okay, then I will get a mechanical arm. I'm going to put it straight in the bin.
Starting point is 00:32:17 It always is a bizarre dream that I wanted to put a mechanical, buy a mechanical arm. Put it in the bin. Talk about it for ages with a bloke in the shop. Test it out for ages
Starting point is 00:32:25 and get it fitted and stuff like that. Just bin it. Yeah, and then just walk straight out and there'll be a bin outside and put it straight in the bin really hard. So he's definitely broke.
Starting point is 00:32:33 Yeah, yeah, yeah. He definitely can't resell it. It's been eight years and I've been loads of email dialogue with him about how it works and stuff like that. The mechanics. I've got this Japanese architect's design
Starting point is 00:32:42 for years on end. I think he would be beside himself. He'd be shocked, wouldn't he? I think he'd probably go into doing legs instead after that. But then a year later, a few more gigs under your belt, get back in and get a leg. I'm not into that sort of thing.
Starting point is 00:32:57 You don't like the legs? More of an arm man. You're more about binning arms than binning legs. Yeah! That's what it is! Peacock and Gamble, Peacock and Gamble. Merrick Lowood there. you're more about binning arms yeah than binning legs yeah that's right yeah be cooking gamble be cooking gamble
Starting point is 00:33:08 Merrick Lowood there well yeah took some editing that you know did it yeah a little bit did it because when I listened back to it
Starting point is 00:33:13 yeah because we had a nice but we were dead tired on the day yeah you were more tired because you've been up editing I've been up till 7 editing
Starting point is 00:33:20 yeah yeah but we've just said that now but I'm pretty sure that I cut that out of the edit right okay saying that I've been up to this to try and hide it but yeah I've been up to the 7 I Yeah, yeah. But we've just said that now, but I'm pretty sure that I cut that out of the edit. Right, okay. Saying that I've been up since, trying to hide it.
Starting point is 00:33:27 But yeah, I've been up since seven. I also had a lot of help with the editing from Laura Barron again. Laura Barron's been doing a lot
Starting point is 00:33:31 of our editing so we appreciate that. But, sorry, I'm just going to, can I just trim these hedges while I'm talking to you?
Starting point is 00:33:38 Yeah, that's fine, you just trim the hedges. Yeah, I'm just going to trim these hedges while I talk to you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:42 So what, sorry. Keep going, mate, keep trimming the hedges. It's a difficult bit this here now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So what... Keep going, mate. Keep trimming the hedges. It's a difficult bit this here, man. Yeah, yeah. Your goals have gone, I noticed, but what you decided to do is start trimming the hedges.
Starting point is 00:33:50 It's very difficult when you're interpreting, but you're also trying to do an Edinburgh Fringe. Trying to get everything in at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when I listened back to it, it sounded quite downbeat, the whole interview. Yeah. Are you done now, by the way, with the hedges?
Starting point is 00:34:01 I might do a little bit. Okay. I might do a little bit in a minute. I'll have a little chat with you now, first of all, and then I'll see whether or not I decide to just trim some more hedges. Yeah, okay. Actually, my seagulls are on the way.
Starting point is 00:34:16 My seagulls are coming on now, which is a bit weird, because they don't know me come back when I'm trimming the hedges. No, they don't, no. Scared of the noise. So, yeah, so we edited it, me and Lauren between, as best as we could to sort of lift it up a little bit. Yeah. So, yeah, so we edited it, sort of me and Lauren Tween as best as we could to sort of lift it up a little bit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:28 But, you know, Marek was having a bit of a whine as he sometimes does. Yeah. It was warm in the flat as well and Marek kept mopping his brow. He did, didn't he? And sort of pushing sweat
Starting point is 00:34:37 back over his head. I've got a towel on stage at our show now, haven't I? You do. You turn into Meatloaf. Yeah, I've turned into that bloke. I am the bloke, Stephen KM or Stephen.
Starting point is 00:34:44 I am the bloke. He's on stage now, doing my comedy now, doing it so well, I get so sweaty, I have to have a real towel. We've had to ask Sophie, our stage manager, who's becoming a regular tits on this podcast. You know, massive tits. Massive tits, nice girl. We've had to ask her specifically for a hook so Ray can hang his towel up on the stage. Yeah, genuinely true. Ed's got a kimono on one hook and I've got a towel on mine.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Yeah. But do come and see the show. Please do. It's going quite well. genuinely true Ed's got a kimono on one hook and I've got a towel on mine yeah but do come and see the show please do it's going quite well yeah it's going actually secretly very well but we will
Starting point is 00:35:09 always be self-deprecating yeah weird shit where is it at that it's on at 9.40 it's called pick up the cab don't leave all the
Starting point is 00:35:16 bill telly anywhere 9.40 at the Pleasant Storm dum dum dum dum dum dum and keep downloading the podcast tell your friends
Starting point is 00:35:21 about it Twitter about it Facebook about it all the things that we do with children we're number 5 at the moment in the charts. We don't want to be number one. Number two.
Starting point is 00:35:28 We want to be just number two next to Richard Herring. And then we're going to kill Richard Herring. That's a publicity stunt. See you again tomorrow. Here's Merritt with the credits. The Peacock and Gamble Edinburgh podcast is a ready production
Starting point is 00:35:42 hosted by www.chortle.co.uk Today's guest was Marek Lawood and my show is Typecast at the Pleasant
Starting point is 00:35:57 Beside 6.20pm All music by Thomas Fun The Ray see you tomorrow thanks bro

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