The Peacock and Gamble Podcast - The Peacock and Gamble Podcast: Episode 44

Episode Date: November 24, 2019

"Episode 44" from archive.org was assembled into the "The Peacock and Gamble Podcast" podcast by Fourble. Episode 44 of 128....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast. Hello. Oh, good morning. Hello. Oh, have you fallen asleep? Yeah. Right next to the computer? Yeah, it's August now.
Starting point is 00:00:22 I beg your pardon? It's August, you've been asleep since May. Hush your mouth. No. I beg you, Puddin'. It's August. You've been asleep since May. Hush your mouth. No, I can't. I'm sorry. How on earth have I done that? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:00:32 Again? You've been in hibernation. I have been in hibernation all this time. You little bear. I've done it. Oh, look at all this poo. Have you been awake?
Starting point is 00:00:43 You could have cleaned up some of the poo. I didn't want to mate. You've grown moss all under your busters. Oh I've got a little moss bra. This is how
Starting point is 00:00:50 embarrassing for me Ray Peacock television star in a way I am in a way a little bit in a way I am anyway.
Starting point is 00:01:00 That's a lovely title. Yeah how have I grown a moss buster bra? And how have I Ed Gamble, friend of Ray Peacock, television star in a way, not got my rag on a stick out
Starting point is 00:01:12 and cleaned all the moss from under your busters? I just wish you would one day. I know. Oh, well then, well, here we are then. Oh, we're recording as well, look, I can see. Yeah, look, we're straight back on it. I see on the computer it's recording as well. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:23 Well, we'll crack on with a podcast then. Yeah, shall we? We'll keep on going with podcasts, is it? Yeah, I think so. Series two or not? You know... Ah! Fuck that, no.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Just the continuing story of... Yeah, it's the... It's like pigs in space, isn't it? The other thing I've noticed there straight away is while I've been asleep you appear to have
Starting point is 00:01:39 had a sex change. Oh, yeah, that's why I've been away doing that. Nice! Nice, Luke. I see what you've done there. Thanks. What you've done there, you obviously haven let's see what you've done there. Thanks. What you've done,
Starting point is 00:01:45 you obviously haven't gone for the proper cosmetic surgery there. No. Couldn't afford that,
Starting point is 00:01:50 no. No. You've grown your own busters. Yeah. And for the downstairs, what you've got
Starting point is 00:01:56 is you've got a plastic fanny that you've sellotaped over your knob. Yeah, that's how they do it,
Starting point is 00:02:02 it's a quick job. That is what a sex change is, you know. Yeah, basically, yeah. So, it's sort of a reawakening, reimagining. Yeah, reimagining they do it, is a quick job. That is what a sex change is, you know. Yeah, basically, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:08 So, it's sort of a reawakening, reimagining. Yeah, reimagining, yeah. Because, I'll be honest with you, I can't remember anything we were doing before. I can't really, mate. I remember there was something about a film pitch that we'd done. Have you written another one? No.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Nope, me neither. So, that section, fall into the wayside. Speaking of films, though, not a film pitch, but I've had an idea for a film franchise. Have you? An existing film franchise. Right.
Starting point is 00:02:27 I've had an idea of something they can do to hit a better audience. Right, okay. A wider audience of how they can change it. Well, I look forward to hearing that.
Starting point is 00:02:33 I had a dream about it the other night. Did you? It's not just 3D, it's not that. Although I have invented that. Yeah, oh, that's you, is it?
Starting point is 00:02:40 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, do you know how I invented 3D? You went to the theatre and you thought, wouldn't it be brilliant if this could be in films? But do you know how I actually invented it? What, how did, is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, do you know how I invented 3D? You went to the theatre and you thought, wouldn't it be brilliant if this could be in films? But do you know how I actually invented it?
Starting point is 00:02:48 What, how did you do it? I'll tell you how I did it, right? Do you know food dye or not? You've got a red one and a blue one, right? Yeah, I do know food dye. Yeah, two pipettes. Yeah. I put the pipette in the red one and the pipette in the blue one.
Starting point is 00:02:58 Yeah. Squeezed a bit into it. Yeah. Had my eyes wide open. Dripped the colouring into, red in my left eye, blue in my right eye, right? And then I noticed after that that everything looked really close up. You are a brilliant inventor.
Starting point is 00:03:14 That is how I invented 3D. Welcome to the show. So what have we been up to, I hear you asking? Hello? Loads you asking. Hello? Loads, mate. Well, there's been bits and bobs, haven't there? Yeah, bits and bobs and odds and sods. Yeah, it's been an odd time, really.
Starting point is 00:03:33 But we did go away last week. Yeah. We went to the Laurel and Hardy Museum. Went on our holidays to the Laurel and Hardy Museum. I mean, we didn't have a holiday to the Laurel and Hardy Museum. Up in Cumbria, it's in Ulverston, in Cumbria. Can hardly recommend it. Yeah, go it. I like it a lot. I'm Hardy Museum up in Cumbria. It's in Ulverston in Cumbria. I can heartily recommend it. Yeah, go it.
Starting point is 00:03:46 I like it a lot. I'm a big fan of Lauren Hardy. I went to the old Lauren Hardy Museum years ago where my grandad relocated. Now they've gone to bigger premises. Yeah, I came with you, didn't I? You're not so keen, are you? It's not that I'm not keen. I just think, you know, she's old.
Starting point is 00:04:00 Yeah, that's it. She's so old. What Ed's doing now is he's pretending something just to upset me. He's never even seen, well, he has now, but he hasn't seen a Laura and Ardy film. Well, you know, we've all seen them, haven't we? We've all seen them. It's just so old. You know, just really boring.
Starting point is 00:04:16 I don't understand why you're into, like, old stuff. Well, I'm not into old stuff per se. Well, you are. You're like, oh, make sure that's in black and white. Well, when have I ever put the telly on and said, turn the colour off, I want to watch this in black and white? Sin City, Sin City said. I didn't say it.
Starting point is 00:04:33 That's how it's filmed. No, you. You'd put Sin City on and make them take the yellow off the bastard. Yeah. It says all this. But when we went to the museum, he was all sat giggling away watching it. Yeah, so he found
Starting point is 00:04:45 it quite quaint it was quite it was nice quaint little thing yeah and the thing is like you're you're usually a modern man yeah you got your iphone yeah ipod phone ipod phone right yeah you're not gonna go oh this would be better if it was back to smoke signals would you and that's what you're doing with films yeah but that said if there was an app yeah if there was an app to put laura lennardi films on it i would download that and watch it i just think you should get reason get with the times right yeah ditch the laura lennardi stick on crank two high voltage i mean you were a twat all day when we were in there i was not i was i was pleasing you i was letting you have your little time you weren't badly behaved to the extent that i often would be in places like that
Starting point is 00:05:27 if I have no respect for them. Yeah. But you were. You know, you're mischievous and stuff. When we were leaving, the man who was running it, he was saying to everyone, what's your favourite film? What's your favourite film?
Starting point is 00:05:35 Yeah. And he asked me, and I said, probably out of the shorts, it's Turn in the Owl. Out of the longer films, I think my favourite one would have to be Way Out West. Turn to you, what's your favourite film? What did you say? Fight Club.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Yeah, exactly. That's not what he was getting at. Well, that is my favourite film. Yeah, be Way Out West 10 to you what's your favourite film what did you say Fight Club yeah exactly that's not what he was getting at well that is my favourite film yeah but poor bugger he was like he was trying to work out
Starting point is 00:05:50 what Laura Raleigh film Fight Club was and it might be something because he had loads of films it might have been one that he'd not heard of or one that had a different name I'd turned off as a proper expert
Starting point is 00:06:00 yeah you'd be like yeah Fight Club my favourite one is Fight Club Fight Club yeah yeah but that's one of those questions that you just get asked and then you've got an answer for it straight away in your head.
Starting point is 00:06:08 Yeah. Fight Club. Yeah. If we were in the Fight Club museum... What Fight Club museum? If we were in a Fight Club museum... What Fight Club museum? I can't talk about it.
Starting point is 00:06:20 Would you say, if they said, what's your favourite film, would you say a Laura Linardi film? Can't tell you, mate. Right. Can't say it. I't tell you, mate. Right. Can't say it. Literally, we both know that we can't say nothing. Let's afford each other the mutual respect of keeping Sturm and not putting ourselves in awkward situations
Starting point is 00:06:37 where we have to either confirm or deny that there is a Fight Club museum or what we would say if we were there. Yeah. And let's move on. The other thing as well that I found out today, because they have a Lauren Hardy film shown pretty much continuously in the little cinema there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:52 And we watched that. One of the ones they showed was the music box, which is probably the most famous one, which is where they're delivering a piano. I watched it all the way through. You did. And I had to leak, because I find it frustrates me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:03 To such a degree. Yeah. That I can't even watch it now. I can see why it's frustrating. Massive fan of Lauren Hardy, but I want to just go, no, you're doing it wrong. Because they have to get a piano, right, to announce. Which is up at the top of an L.
Starting point is 00:07:18 Up some steps on an L. Up some steps. I mean, I used to wonder, please don't. If that person says, can I get a pass, just say no. Just say no. Please don't take If that person says, can I get past, just say no. Just say no, I've got to do it. Please don't take the piano back down to the bottom again. And please
Starting point is 00:07:30 be careful with that piano. Well, the piano was clearly broken about two minutes in. Absolutely. They take it off the back of the horse and cart. It bangs on the floor. It's in a crate.
Starting point is 00:07:37 It bangs on the floor. I mean, that piano is fucked. It's fucked now. I mean, you did sit there saying that as well. Yeah, totally. That's fucked. That's fucked. No sit there saying that as well. Yeah, totally. That's fucked. That's fucked.
Starting point is 00:07:46 No removals company would just say, look, really sorry, we're insured. We'll cover it for you, but we've broke your piano. Really, really sorry. Don't drop it down the stairs 15 more times. Don't keep taking it up. I mean, at great risk to yourself. Several times they fell over and it hurt them
Starting point is 00:08:02 while they were doing it. And also, and they tell them in the film, don't want to ruin the ending of it, they tell them that they could have got to the top. That's what I was thinking. That's why it's better if it's modern. If they'd had sat-nav on their horse, then they could have got there, couldn't they? It's true, mate. In modern films, you do have sat-nav on their horses.
Starting point is 00:08:18 That is true, that is true. I concede on that one. Only two absolute idiots would try and deliver that piano in that one. Couple of wallies. Yeah. But we had a laugh in there as we always do
Starting point is 00:08:29 when we go out for days out. Yeah. And yeah, I'm really annoyed at you for taking the piss out of that bloke though. He was a lovely bloke. Yeah, he was fine.
Starting point is 00:08:35 All the blokes in there were lovely. There weren't any ladies there, were there? No, no women. Yeah. I'll tell you what, right? If there was a woman
Starting point is 00:08:41 working in it, right? You know how it says if you work in a job you do a joke when you go in in the morning? Yeah, do you know what I mean? If you do a day job. And what she could do, when she comes to work, she should always wear a frock,
Starting point is 00:08:52 but not have it zipped up at the back, right? And she should say to one of the blokes, can you just put my zip up? And he'd do it, no problem with that. Then do it again the next day, right? Then do it again the next day. And then the next day, right? again the next day and then the next day right
Starting point is 00:09:05 and then on Friday on Friday on Friday for a bit of a joke when he does it she should go that's another fine dress
Starting point is 00:09:13 you've got me into now when we went to Laurel and Hardy Museum on our holidays In Norverson Yeah They had a guest book to sign at the end
Starting point is 00:09:31 Oh yeah yeah they did yeah I've only ever signed a guest book at something once before You say this like I've asked you Right I know It just reminded me of it And now I'm going to take it
Starting point is 00:09:39 Yeah no I went now So you signed that one Yeah That's twice before I signed that one I remember just going to the Royal Tournament at El's Court
Starting point is 00:09:45 and this was before Diana died. And there was a book of mourning. Already? That's weird, isn't it? And a picture of September 11th. All you conspiracy theorists. No, there was a big cake thing with H-R-H.
Starting point is 00:09:58 I think you'll find that's pronounced H-R-H. All right, H-R-H, Princess Diana. And my mum's friend went, told you she was a tart. That's a nice joke.
Starting point is 00:10:08 So yeah, that was a lovely joke. But anyway, this guest book... I know how Princess Diana died anyway. When they went through the underpass, the driver sneezed. It really is as simple as that. That's all that happened. Just sneezed.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Wasn't even breaking the speed limit. So can we please put this to rest yeah nothing to do with pepper army so I went to a place called Diggerland which was a brilliant
Starting point is 00:10:31 day out yeah it's Castleford isn't it no it's one in Durham oh is it I went to it in Durham I think there's one in Durham maybe one in Castleford
Starting point is 00:10:38 then one in Devon the reason I know that is I'm sure they sponsor Castleford Rugby League oh right well maybe there is one there then I think there might be two or three around
Starting point is 00:10:44 it's a franchise isn't it yeah yeah mate Diggerland you basically get a go on diggers pick things up with them there's a big ride where you sit in a bucket of a big digger
Starting point is 00:10:52 and they spin you around what more would you want yeah exactly and then sign the guest book at the end and I don't think I'm allowed back there now because my message was
Starting point is 00:10:59 what's up my diggers Ed yeah what's up my diggers and yeah so in the past we spoke about my mum and dad on and off on this podcast we've had plenty of laughs
Starting point is 00:11:20 at their expense over the past few well the past month or so my dad's been very, very poorly. I mean, he's been properly poorly. He likes to pull gigs and stuff and I've been going up north
Starting point is 00:11:29 and down again and all the rest of it. Anyway, the point of the matter is, for ages, my mum's been saying he's diabetic. Right. My dad's clearly not been well for quite a while, you know,
Starting point is 00:11:37 and we've always seen, go, you know, go to the doctors and he won't. It's that sort of mindset, which I was for an awful long time as well, just going, I'm not going to the doctors. It gets to the point where you're like,
Starting point is 00:11:46 look, they're just not going to go, you'll have to wait until something happens, serious, and then you'll have to go, and that's what's happened. But for ages, my mum's been saying he's diabetic.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Interestingly, she's been saying it since she was diagnosed as being diabetic, and she's decided that every fucker else is as well. Well, she's been telling me I'm diabetic. Yeah, so you're her one success,
Starting point is 00:12:04 because she's telling me I'm diabetic, i'm not no you can see now i'm drinking my boon and you're fine yeah but anyway so this this is going on to my dad she'd be saying to my dad yeah you're diabetic i'm telling you now you're diabetic i mean he's had everything wrong with him because my mom so he went into hospital he was an emergency into the hospital because he's not been to the hospital his adult, they just did lots of tests straight away. Yeah. I mean, when I went in there, he had wires everywhere and, you know, stuff down his throat and blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:12:30 It was horrible. But apparently, on the day he went in, the Friday that he went in, I got there late Friday night, but on the Friday that he went in, he'd been rushed in, you know, they'd put him on oxygen, they'd done this, that, and the other, blood tests and everything. Yeah. You know, battered him, basically. They eventually got him stabilised and this doctor came over to him and said all right we've got to stabilize now and you know i'm gonna see what's what and as he as the doctor was walking away my dad took the oxygen mask off and went can i ask you a question and the doctor went yeah and
Starting point is 00:12:59 he went i'm a diabetic and the doctor went no you're not and my dad turns to my mum and went see I put the oxygen mask back on he's like for fuck's sake will you just be ill he did it right I went in the other day and he was very very weak
Starting point is 00:13:13 he was in the bed he'd been asleep for a long time he could barely talk so I'm sat by the side of the bed with my dad and you know we've never been affectionate at all
Starting point is 00:13:21 we're not really affectionate as a family at all not in a bad way that's just not the way it is yeah so you save all your affection up for me don't you I'm very affectionate at all. We're not really affectionate as a family at all. Not in a bad way, that's just not the way it is. Yeah, so you save all your affectionate for me, don't you? No, I'm very affectionate with you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Violently affectionate. You are thigh-bruisingly affectionate. I'll tell you what, I've left some marks on some glasses. I'll tell you what I have. Anyway, so I'm at the side of the bed with my dad. I'm holding his hand. Well, he's holding my hand.
Starting point is 00:13:44 It's a very unusual situation, but it's all right, I'm there. So I'm telling him what things holding his hand well he's holding my hand yeah you know it's very unusual situation but it's all right i'm there so i'm telling him what things are going on and he's saying have i been bad i'm like yeah you've not been very well at all he's like very very weak and that all quiet in there it's intensive care and i i looked up at the the machine one of the machines he was attached to which is the which was the the master one so the one that had his heart rate on it his blood pressure on it, everything on there. Yeah. And I'm just staring at it, because I've been looking at it for weeks,
Starting point is 00:14:08 and I'm just sort of looking at it and trying to see what's what with him. Dead quiet in that. And then he suddenly just went, bang! Right? I thought I was shouting at myself. That's intensive care. You can't do that.
Starting point is 00:14:22 I mean, what are you doing? You can't do that. He didn't talk for another 20 minutes. He was knackered. It was like, it must have took everything he had to do that joke. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:14:34 God forbid, he could have dropped dead after doing that joke. So you're telling me that you wouldn't have done that if you were in there? I would definitely have done it. But what I'm saying is
Starting point is 00:14:41 I don't appreciate it being none of me when my emotions are fraught. When I'm already worried about him, I'm crying more tears than I've cried in years and he's doing bang jokes totally forgot about it tell you what, the other thing that he did when he went in there the first day he went in there in an emergency
Starting point is 00:14:58 and there's a girl, there's this doctor right first of all I had to say to my mum stop calling him the black doctor well he is the black doctor no he's not the black doctor and I was going he's a doctor
Starting point is 00:15:12 he's a doctor and also here you go he's the only man here call him the man doctor if you need to single him out my brother's going oh she's lovely that doctor
Starting point is 00:15:21 this other girl oh she's lovely I mean I was going oh yeah she's gorgeous I didn't even think she was particularly but, she's lovely. I mean, I was going, oh, yeah, she's gorgeous. I didn't even think she was particularly, but anyway, they're going, oh, she's gorgeous. And my dad just went,
Starting point is 00:15:28 tell you what, right? She's having her hands down my pants today. And my brother's going, no, no way. And he's going, yeah, she had a right good feel. I was going,
Starting point is 00:15:38 no, she was checking you. She wasn't fucking, you can't make that, they can't sexualise it. Your dad is just, because he's in a shitty situation, he's just getting as many wins in as possible. Oh, yeah, totally.
Starting point is 00:15:48 Totally, totally, yes. Yeah, beating my mum, making me jump. Talking about how the doctor had her hands down his butt. Well, I'll give you extras in here. Yeah, I'll tell you what. They came to move into another ward, and you went, you're not going far. He went, that's what all the girls say.
Starting point is 00:16:00 I get my own way in the end. I'm like, great. Now he's insinuated a sexual assault he's still not very well but we wish him lots of love oh gay you're right holding hands with your dad
Starting point is 00:16:17 I am gay for wishing my dad lots of love on his own when he gets out you can go skipping in the park with him at least my dad lots of love on his own. When he gets out, you can go skipping in the park with him. At least my dad didn't leave. Oh. I think I know why everyone on the fan
Starting point is 00:16:44 page and on the emails and all that was going, come on, do a podcast again. I think I know why they've been saying, come on, do another podcast. Why? Because none of them are eating. Because they've not been told a food. Right. In the section, Ray says a food, does one, says it out loud, and then the people at home or on the bus or the tube
Starting point is 00:17:11 or wherever they listen to it, computer, listening to it, hear the name of the food, and you go, ooh, now then, I'll bloody have some of that. Or a drink. And this week don't worry you can come off your diet now you're nanorexic
Starting point is 00:17:30 but stop that now and put some weight back on and get healthy again this week's food is tractor I'm a tractor a tractor I'm a tractor get tractor I'm a tractor Get in for a snack first of all
Starting point is 00:17:48 Eat a bit of the aerial If it's got an aerial A lot of tractors don't, do they not? You don't know anything about tractors Why are you eating a tractor? I've wanted a big tyre for your Sunday dinner I'm a tractor? I've wanted a big toast for your Sunday dinner. I'm a tractor.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Get two of the windows. Put the seat in between them. Like a sandwich. Tell you what, I haven't had... What? Tractor for pudding. Can you imagine that? Having a normal meal of beef and cheese and going, oh, I could fancy something sweet now. Have a tractor. Eat a tractor. Eat a tractor through your
Starting point is 00:18:36 eyes. Yeah? Right. Can you see what you've driven me to? Podcast fans. Can you see where the pressure has got me? I'm talking about having osmosis. So you can ingest a fucking tractor through your eyes. And you wonder why I've deleted my Facebook page, you cunts. Attracting. I don't know if eagle-eared listeners can still fucking hear that,
Starting point is 00:19:11 but that budgie upstairs hasn't died yet. Do you know what I mean? Don't buy a budgie and then put it on your fucking balcony. Yeah, if you're bored of it, just... Just kill it. Yeah, just kill it. We've said this before. We've said it's everything. If you're bored of your budgie, lay it upstairs for me.
Starting point is 00:19:24 Yeah. Just kill it. And if you're listening to your budgie maybe upstairs from me yeah just kill it and if you're listening to this and you think I wonder if that's that bloke downstairs it is me yeah
Starting point is 00:19:29 it is me kill your fucking budgie put it in the kettle cold kettle yeah and then just warm it up and it'll fall asleep and then die in sleep
Starting point is 00:19:36 it'll fall asleep and then just get it out wake it up and knife it through the face and then you'll have a lovely budgie broth I tell you what have you ever had a budgie broth. I tell you what, budgie broth. Have you ever had budgie broth?
Starting point is 00:19:46 I've not, mate. Is it good? Very big in the Shetlands. I don't know why. Yeah, no. I don't even know why I said that. You know sometimes with improvisation, you go, just say the first thing that comes into your head.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Yeah, and Shetlands. First thing that comes to my head, Shetlands. I'm worried that you're right about me having this breakdown. Well, we've got more breakdown news coming up. What breakdown fucking... No, we're not. Well, alright, shall I say it now? What have I done? You've bought a massive pig's head on the internet.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Right, that's not fair, because that makes it sound like I've gone to an awful site. That's not what's happened at all. Right, well, it may as well be that. For all the use you're getting out of it, you may as well get a pig's head and cook it up nice and make me a nice dinner with crackling and pork and ears and
Starting point is 00:20:28 eyes. Fuck you. Fuck you and all you stand for. Right. Right. Fuck you with your big pig's
Starting point is 00:20:33 head off the internet. No, fuck you, right, because it's a Gamma Ray and God. Yeah. I don't care what
Starting point is 00:20:38 breed it is. From Return of the Jedi, the Star Wars film. It's a, it's a replica. Yeah. There's only, there's
Starting point is 00:20:43 only 300 in the world. Yeah. I've got 208. I the world yeah I've got 208 I don't mean I've got 208 of them I mean I've got number 208
Starting point is 00:20:50 yeah number 208 right you now can't get them for love nor money well you can get them for money probably well yeah alright then
Starting point is 00:20:55 you can't get them for love and if you were a sexy lady you could probably get one for love tell you what it's massive
Starting point is 00:21:00 when that arrived when the courier came with that yeah I literally was at the door going ahhh when he turned up with it,
Starting point is 00:21:06 because it wasn't cheap. God, it wasn't cheap. How much was it? No, I'm not even saying that's cheap. If you want to know how much, go on the internet and have a look and see how much they are. You'll see for yourself. But he turned up with it and I was like, oh, that is going to be big that. Unless there's a lot of packaging.
Starting point is 00:21:23 That is going to be massive. See see I know you you would have been annoyed if it was just like layers and layers of bubble wrap then tiny little pigs probably would
Starting point is 00:21:29 literally can't please me when it comes to buying a Gamma Riengard replica head speaking of big heads it would be remiss of us to not note here that Frank Sidebottom
Starting point is 00:21:39 who did our end theme tune yeah died while we were away he did I don't think it was connected no I hope not.
Starting point is 00:21:45 But yeah, he's away. He wasn't very well anyway but luckily he was in his short illness and we obviously want to send our love and stuff. I'd advise people to go and watch him on YouTube if you're not familiar with Frank's Eyebottom. You may not get it and I'm not even sure what there was to get.
Starting point is 00:21:58 I saw him live many, many times. What was getting on my nerves a bit in all the obituaries and things is a lot of people said he was a family entertainer and he was this and he was this he was accessible and tell you what sometimes it was fucking terrifying really sometimes he was what i like in comedy as well he had a proper nasty street yeah yeah the character did yeah i mean the character is very
Starting point is 00:22:16 complex anyway because the character was an egomaniac um he wore a originally paper mache head it was in a fiberglass head that he wore but look that's pretty much the same yeah the character was an absolute egomaniac megalomani that he wore but a lot that's pretty much the same yeah the character was an absolute egomaniac megalomaniac showbiz star in his head yeah in semi-professional
Starting point is 00:22:30 show business yeah I love the contradiction of the fact that Chris Seavey who played him was completely anonymous right okay yeah so it was a lovely
Starting point is 00:22:37 contradiction yeah that it was that thing that's going oh look at me look at me look at me you can't see me yeah I really liked that
Starting point is 00:22:42 but I saw him once I saw him many times at the Citadel in St. Helens a little theatre in St. Helens and it would always go on too long yeah without it i mean it must be maybe it's a since i think because johnny vegas is the same when johnny does live live shows yeah i'm myself yeah always go on too long yeah i i can't leave a stage yeah i've no idea how to do it i will might make exam you going, so, look after yourselves.
Starting point is 00:23:07 But there's one night I saw Frank Slybot. First of all, he came on. He went, there's going to be an interval. I'm doing two bits to this. Now, I've only written the first half. So for the second bit, do you want me to do what I've written or do you want me to do my Christmas show again? And this was in like May or something. And I was going, Christmas show?
Starting point is 00:23:23 The whole second half was his Christmas show. Just him in a Santa outfit. That was nice. But he was, one of the nights we were there, there was a heckler in there. He was just a really drunk bloke. He was clearly a big fan
Starting point is 00:23:33 of Frank's side bottom. Yeah. And Frank always sold merchandise and stuff, really nice little bits, you know, t-shirts and mugs and what have you.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Yeah. And this guy bought a mug. Right. But he'd been showing out all night. It got really boring and he wasn't being nasty. He was just ruining the show. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:47 And Frank was going come up on the stage come up on the stage and join me on the air we'll sing a song together whatever. And the blow staggered onto the stage
Starting point is 00:23:53 and still had clutched his mug. Right. And Frank went oh you bought I mean I can't even emphasise how beautifully timed this was
Starting point is 00:24:00 and how quick it happened. He went oh you bought a mug took it off and smashed it on the floor. Right. And there was no because he was expressionless there was no anger to it it was just a just a cunty thing to do but god it was funny if you ever get a chance to watch him being interviewed he's got a brilliant dvd frank's world dvd which i'm i actually don't know if you
Starting point is 00:24:19 can get it online now because he did he was a one-man business yeah but the frank's world dvd an amazing interview on there with a man from the Manchester Daily News who's trying to be funny while he
Starting point is 00:24:29 interviews him and you just see this man's soul sap away because Frank just relentlessly talks at him and he's going
Starting point is 00:24:38 oh do you know how they do animation right here's what they do right they get the puppet right
Starting point is 00:24:42 and they move the hand a little bit take a photo of it then they do that again take a photo of it. Then they do that again, take a photo of it, and the bloke's going,
Starting point is 00:24:48 yeah, but Frank, I want to ask you about, this is a bit Bobbins, Frank, this thing, and he's going, no, listen, right? And they move it again, take another photo,
Starting point is 00:24:55 and move it, take another photo, right? And then they put it somewhere, and they move it, take another photo, move it, and relentless, and doesn't stop doing it. That was really funny.
Starting point is 00:25:04 I love the idea that Chris was laughing underneath that head but yeah but it's a way and he was so nice to let us do to let us use his music
Starting point is 00:25:11 and we'll continue to do that on what he said right when we first spoke to him about it he went such a nice book he went
Starting point is 00:25:16 if you could credit me that'd be great and then talked himself out of it he went but you know I understand if you don't because it's a podcast
Starting point is 00:25:24 and that if you don't if you can't actually don if you don't, because it's a podcast and that, if you don't, if you can't, actually, you don't have to credit me. We're going to credit you anyway. Well, we don't have to anymore. Don't have to now. It's not like he's going to come round and have a go at me, is he? Or if he does now, then I'm going to put that credit right straight back on. Because that is terrifying.
Starting point is 00:25:43 That's scary, that one, isn't it? I can't believe that I'm potentially being haunted by Frank Sidebottom's ghost you're a big ghost head yeah probably living inside your
Starting point is 00:25:50 Gamarien guard well that's I don't know if I should even say this what you'll probably notice with all the obituaries of Frank Sidebottom
Starting point is 00:25:56 and Chris Seavey that you never there's no picture of Chris come out that's how guarded he was about about his appearance about maintaining
Starting point is 00:26:01 the character but I thought that's what he looked like on the name Gamma Ray and God right heartbreaking really yeah
Starting point is 00:26:09 I'm teasing of course he actually had exactly the same head underneath but smaller so there we go our friend Fran Symon was the way I mean genuinely gutted
Starting point is 00:26:23 genuinely gutted very very funny and it's horrible if you've not seen him live that you never will but go and watch him on YouTube and stuff There we go. Our friend, Fran Symon, has been genuinely gutted. Genuinely gutted. Very, very funny. And it's horrible if you've not seen him live that you never will. But go and watch him on YouTube and stuff. If you watch it long enough,
Starting point is 00:26:31 you'll get it. Peacock and Gamble podcast was devised and performed by Ray Peacock and Ed Gamble. All music by the Tiger Lilies except for the last one, which is performed
Starting point is 00:26:44 by Frank Sidebottom. The Peacock and Gamble podcast is a ready production hosted by Chortle.co.uk. See you next week. Is this the real life? Or is this just Timberley? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality. I open my eyes, look up to the skies and see.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Oh, I'm just a poor boy and I need no sympathy because it's easy come, easy go. A little bit high and a little bit low. Especially where the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me.
Starting point is 00:27:41 To me. Mama, To me Mama I just killed a house plant, you know I forgot to water it every day That weekend you went away Because mama My life had just begun And now I've gone and left it on the 108 bus
Starting point is 00:28:16 Oh mama Oh mama Oh I don't want to die Because I don't want to end up like Anita Dobson So carry on, so carry on, so carry on, so carry on Because nothing really matters Hey, it's very late, oh yes And the time has come, you know
Starting point is 00:28:52 To send some shivers down me fabulous spine Me and infection aches all the time Oh, goodbye everybody I've got to go I've got to go I've got to go home on the bus and leave you all Oh mama, doo doo doo doo And her wind's still blowing Oh I don't want to die
Starting point is 00:29:23 Because I don't want to end up Like Anita Dobson Oh, yes! Oh, I see a little silhouetto of a puppy. Scaramouche, Scaramouche, how will you do the fandango? Thunderball and lightning, very, very frightening me. Galileo. Galileo. Galileo.
Starting point is 00:30:15 Galileo. Deo. Deo. Dedeo, Dedeo, D-day-o, D-day-o Cos you know that Nothing really matters And anyone can see That nothing, nothing at all matters much to me
Starting point is 00:30:42 You know it doesn't It really doesn't Whether we're close Fuck you

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