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Welcome to the Peacock and Gamble podcast.
How me, Big Chief Ray Peacock, and me here with Sitting Bull Ed Gamble, do a podcast with Smoke Signal.
I'm not sure that's alright.
Why, what's wrong with that?
I'm not sure that's alright.
Hello, it's Peacock and Gamma Podcast, coming live from Africa.
No.
Where do they live? I don't know where they live.
Indians.
American, Native Americans.
Yes, Native Americans we are.
And I'm not sure you can do that anymore.
How come?
I just don't think you can, because it's stereotyped.
Not all of them are like that.
A lot of them run casinos and are drunk.
Okay.
I don't know, it works.
I don't know, it works saying the right thing. No, you don't, do you? Well, we'llinos and are drunk. Yeah, okay. I don't know, it works. I don't know, it works saying the right thing.
No, you don't, do you?
Well, we'll try and do it.
Yeah.
We'll try and do it on and off.
I'm always getting in trouble for saying the wrong thing.
You are, aren't you?
Welcome to the show.
This is this week's one.
Yeah.
Have I messed it up already, doing that voice?
No, you've not.
I think we'll be all right.
Are you sure?
I think we'll be all right if we say it didn't happen.
I don't want to get in any bother.
No, you won't be in any bother, mate.
I don't want to get in any bother and No, you won't be in any bother, mate. I don't want to get in any bother and get
shot by a cowboy, the good ones.
The good guys.
Anyway, I don't think we could be in any more bother.
This week's podcast is sponsored by News of the
World. Yeah, we have proper bother now.
Trust us, that's the exact time that
we sign up with them. Yeah.
This is like when I signed with Michael Barrymore's manager
on the day he had that party.
Which is a real thing that genuinely happened.
Which is true, yeah.
Yeah, that is true.
Yeah, that's annoying, isn't it?
What's your thoughts on the new to the world thing?
Well, it's horrible, isn't it?
Yeah, nice one.
What's your thoughts on it?
Well, I think we should explain to people.
It's like Question Time, isn't it?
It is just like Question Time.
Yeah.
And with proper it, the ground running as well.
This is just the intro, but we're already now getting to the meat of the week's Topic Allergy News. Yeah, in question time
it'd still be the man
at the front with the grey hair
going, oh, he is
who is on question time.
Yeah, but that's not
what's happening now.
We are already
discussing issues.
Although this bit here
is probably giving him
a chance to catch up.
Yeah, now we are
dragging it out a little bit
and ruining it for everybody.
For those of you
that aren't in the UK,
the News of the World
is a comic that
comes out every Sunday.
People have this thing about taking it seriously for some reason.
They believe it's a newspaper, but it's not.
It's quite clearly a comic.
And, you know, Sensationalist and that and Tabloidy and all the rest of it
epitomises Tabloidy.
Yeah.
But there's been an ongoing saga of phone hacking that they...
It was fine for a bit because it was just celebrities.
Yeah, just Hugh Grant
and all that lot.
But they've now found out
that they hacked the phone
of people who've been in tragedies
and disasters
and their relatives.
Got murdered.
Yeah, so it's all a bit...
This isn't a good thing
to start the show with.
It's all been a bit horrible,
hasn't it?
It's very simple.
Just don't buy that paper.
No, what I have done,
I tell you,
I bought 5,000 copies of it and now I'm going to burn them.
Right.
So that will show them, won't it?
Yeah, I suppose it will show them support, yeah.
Why?
The problem with the news of the world is that people don't necessarily realise, is it's
not, the news of the world is the sun.
Yeah.
So you can't just boycott the news of the world, you'll have to boycott the sun as well.
And the times.
And the times, and the Sunday times.
Yeah.
I think that's where people are going to find difficulty yeah the sun because so many idiots buy the sun yeah
they do i buy the sun sometimes oh i buy this if i'm in it yeah i buy the sun all the time if i'm
in it if they've um said that i provide monster laughs at broadmoor university yeah or whatever
it was called it's something like university the one where all the murderers go.
Yeah.
Anyway, I'm not talking to you.
Welcome to the show.
Oh.
Why aren't you talking to me?
What?
Why aren't you talking to me?
How can I tell you that if I'm not talking to you?
Well, that's a good point,
but how are we going to get through this if you're not talking to me?
Right, well, I will talk to you about why I'm not your friend.
Right, okay.
Right?
So I'll meet you halfway on it.
Thank you.
Hello.
I'm not saying hello.
Hello.
Mate, we've discussed this.
We're mates.
No, you're ruining this now.
Why?
Because we can have a big, massive public fallout
and then it will be all on Torl.
Oh, right.
And all in the press about it.
Right.
Like Richard Aaron and the other bloke,
right?
Like they've done
on their podcast.
Is it Stuart McHoney?
Stuart McHoney,
I believe it is.
Yeah.
And we have a big
fallout as well,
just like they did.
Yeah.
And then we can
come back in a couple
of months and get
a listener.
Yeah.
Right.
I'll tell you what
I'm fed up with.
What?
No, I'm talking
to the listener.
Oh.
I'll tell you what
I'm fed up with.
Ed Gamble.
Gosh, he's getting
on my nerves now.
I don't like when he goes to the toilet on his own. I know you say you want to hear it. Oh, I I tell you what I'm fed up with, Ed Gamble. Gosh, he's getting on my nerves now. I don't like when he goes
in the toilet on his own.
I know you say you want to.
Oh, I tell you I don't like these days.
What?
No, listen.
Oh, yes, I know.
I tell you I don't like these days.
Ray Peacock.
Because when I try and do something,
and he is nasty about me,
so I'm going to write it on the internet.
Yeah.
I hate you, Ed.
What?
I don't.
I know.
I can't do this. I know, me neither. I don't hate Ed. What? I don't... I know. I can't do this.
I know, me neither.
I don't hate you.
I don't know how you can fall out with someone that you care about.
If you're perpetuating a relationship on a podcast, how can you possibly fall out with a person?
Yeah, exactly.
And he's not coping with it well, is he?
He's not coping with it well, no.
We saw him the other day and he was just in his pyjamas and he hadn't shaved.
Yeah, we did a gig with Richard Herring the other day, who we are friends with.
And so please don't take this mocking as serious. Yeah. Because it's only semi-serious. jam as if he hadn't shaved. We did a gig with Richard Harry the other day, who we are friends with, and said, please
don't take this mocking as serious, because it's only semi-serious.
Yeah, we saw Richard, we did Jamie Oliver's big feastival in London's famous Clapham Common
venue.
Yeah.
And he wasn't coping well, was he?
No.
In his dressing gown, right, with an empty bottle of whiskey in the pocket.
Yeah, all uncamped, unshaven, as Ed said.
A big grey beard.
Yeah.
With a bit of yellow in it.
Yeah.
Don't know what that was.
He had a rollie behind his ear.
Yeah.
And he just had a picture of Stuart McConey in his hand,
just wandering around, sad about it.
Really weird.
And what was horrible about the picture was
it was signed,
To my dear friend Stuart Lane.
So that was horrible all round.
Yeah, but we cheered him up, didn't we?
Yeah, no, he was fine, wasn't he?
Yeah.
He knows what's what, that lad.
Yeah.
And we were all in the same boat at that gig.
I wish we were in a bloody boat.
I wish we were in a boat rather than in a lifeboat that wasn't doing very well in the sea.
Yeah. So we got booked to Jamie Oliver's big feast of all.
That's fine. You know what? Alright. It's a festival gig.
We expected it to be rough.
Then they changed the times.
Good money. 500 each.
Alright, just reveal that.
Not bad. 500 each.
Yeah, that's fine.
Then they changed the times around.
They said, Ed, hey, do you mind going on at 11.40am?
Which is the earliest gig I've ever done. So I said, yeah, fine. do you mind going on at 11.40am? Which is the earliest gig
I've ever done.
Right, okay.
So I said, yeah, fine.
Have you done a gig
earlier than that?
Possibly.
Well, there's a reason
you don't put comedy
on that early,
especially at an event
because not many people
have shown up yet.
Do you know what?
I think they could have
put that on at 11 at night.
I still think
we'd have struggled
to perform to a field.
Yeah, we were on
the main stage
which, as the name suggests,
is the biggest stage.
It was like, I don't know if you've ever been to Glastonbury.
It was like the main stage at Glastonbury, but without all the flags.
Yeah, and the people.
Yeah.
So I probably, when I went on, there were probably about, I'd say, 20 people, all in separate groups, all spread around a giant field.
It was about a mile square.
Yeah, and so that was impossible.
So I went on, I thought, I know what I'll do, I'll do individual banter. giant field. It was about a mile square. Yeah. And so that was impossible.
So I went on,
I thought,
I know what I'll do,
I'll do individual banter.
I'll call them up one by one and chat to them
and make them laugh one by one,
which was going fine.
And then I thought,
I'll do a bit of material,
which I can't do,
because I can't do it without laughs.
No, it's hard, isn't it?
I mean, I would have,
I was there in time to watch you.
Yeah.
Unfortunately,
they did this little funny trick
where the artist entrance,
they didn't put a sign on it.
Yeah.
What they did instead was they just had a green fence
that had some bits that would open as doors,
but you couldn't tell where they were.
No, you're not allowed to tell, no.
And it was the full perimeter of Clapham Common.
Yeah.
So I found it eventually by walking along and tapping it
until it had an hollow sound.
You had to pull one of the books out.
Yeah.
You have to pull the book out that says greed.
So I missed your first, I guess, ten minutes.
But I saw your last five.
Well, you saw the last five because you just walked on.
Yeah.
It was brilliant.
I thought it was incredibly unfair.
I turned around and I just saw you walk on.
You'd obviously come straight in.
Yeah.
And walked straight onto the stage.
You looked genuinely happy to see me.
Yeah, I went, oh, hello, mate.
You went, hello.
What are you doing?
What are you doing? Yeah. Just doing a concert to this field. Yeah, I went, oh, hello, mate. You went, hello. What are you doing? What are you doing?
Just doing a concert
to this field.
Yeah, it was,
I couldn't let you
stand there on your own.
I don't think it was fair.
Fine, I only had,
what, ten minutes left.
I know, I'm not
going to patronise you.
I know you were fine.
Yeah.
But it just didn't
seem fair to me.
I thought, well,
if this is going to be
how it is,
then I don't see any reason
why I can't just wander off.
Yeah, so we did a bit
of our Edinburgh show.
Yeah, we did a little
sneak preview
of the Edinburgh show. Oh, it tore a little sneak preview of the Edinburgh show.
Oh, it tore it up.
To the field.
Yeah.
A little boy gave us an extra line for our Edinburgh show,
which we're keeping, by the way.
That was a good line, that.
I went on.
You went on, mate.
I did all my comedy after Richard Heron had been on.
Yeah.
I mean, Richard Heron has stunk it up a bit.
In fairness.
I mean, I know we say that it's impossible as a gig.
Yeah.
But come on, Richard Heron.
He just started crying and going,
Andrew, Andrew.
Yeah, Andrew, Andrew.
Then he started kissing the floor,
which was embarrassing.
So Richard went on with a fine performance.
Yeah, although they did try and pull him off stage
for being rude, though.
Apparently he said damp,
and the mother backstage
was terribly upset about that.
So didn't want her child to hear it.
But anyway, that's
enough about him. Because then, who
came on then? Headliner. You, the
headliner of the whole gig, apart from athlete.
And on a walk? Yeah, on your walk.
I had my sunglasses on all the way through it.
Which I didn't realise until
Richard Herring showed me on his phone that he filmed a bit of it.
And I went, oh, did I have my sunglasses
on all the way through? Well, you put your sunglasses
on deliberately before you went on.
Did I?
To be cool, yeah.
I can't remember him doing that.
And then you forgot that they were on.
Was it like I did it as a rock concert?
Yeah, you were doing it like a concert.
And then you said, let's all do a bit of Deo,
like Freddie Mercury, except with a beard,
which he never actually had a beard,
apart from towards the end.
Yeah, his final days, which is true, that's true.
So I'd done that.
Yeah.
I'd done my Freddie Mercury Deo,
which went surprisingly well.
Yeah.
And then I said, oh, this side of the field isn't doing it properly.
So if you don't do it properly this time, I'm going to sing Bat Out of Hell all the way through.
In my head, seeing an owl.
Yeah.
And then I did it, and they did it properly.
And then I pretended they hadn't done it properly.
And did Bat Out of Hell all the way through anyway.
Yeah, you got to put it on your iPod, didn't you?
With a special cameo from Ed Gamble as a motorbike.
As a motorbike and then doing other things like the heart flying away.
Yeah, you did some fantastic mine.
Yeah.
So why are we not on Mark Watson's new programme on Dave?
When we can do all this improvisation.
Yeah.
I wanted to talk about this thing, mate.
Well, this is the ideal platform for that.
Yeah.
If there's something you want to talk about,
then what better place to do that
than on an audio medium that records voice?
Yeah.
This is what we're doing now.
Yeah, so...
This is what they call a podcast, Ed.
Here I am.
Watch out, I'm about to talk about a thing.
Right.
Which you will have seen about.
Seize this opportunity.
We all like Australia's Got Talent, don't we?
Oh, I know what you're going to talk about.
Yeah.
The comedian boy.
Well, no, not comedian.
Let's not call him that.
You might have seen this story, everyone, if you read Chortle.
Or it got big press in Australia, didn't it, I think.
I think it has been widely reported in Australia, yeah.
Yeah.
There was a boy who went on Britain's Got Talent,
who apparently is a serial auditioner
for talent shows.
Well, that's what they said.
As a singer.
That might just mean
he's only been on two.
He's just done it as a singer before.
I'm not willing to give him
the benefit of the doubt.
Okay.
And went on and did
two other comics material,
American comics material,
and Lee Mack,
who of course is from England.
Southport.
And they just showed a video
of him then going back on
after he'd been accused of all then going back on after he'd been
accused of all that.
Yeah, so he'd been on
basically, he did,
I know the bit of
Leeds material that he did
was the Robbie Williams
thing.
Yeah, when Leeds
talked about Robbie
Williams coming out
and saying,
come on, you know,
this one.
Yeah, yeah.
And he did it
word for word, didn't he?
Yeah, word for word, yeah.
In fairness.
But he probably thought
he was far enough away
from the UK
for that to never
be found out.
Yeah.
So perhaps underestimated
quite how well-known Lee Mack is. Yeah, exactly, yeah. And also the other guy, I can't remember, the American never be found out. Yeah. So perhaps underestimated quite how well known Lee Mack is.
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
And also the other guy,
I can't remember,
the American actor.
Jeff Keith.
Okay.
I thought Lee dealt with it
very, very well.
Just laughed it off.
Yeah, Lee did laugh it off
because Lee's done that material.
Yeah.
He's finished that material.
Yeah.
It's recorded on DVD.
There's no question that it's Lee's.
Yeah.
So what difference does it really make
as far as he's concerned?
But then this bloke then,
after all this,
then he got through to the semi-final.
They didn't kick him
out of the competition
or anything even though
they knew he ripped
off material.
So they went you can
come back on as long
as you do your own
stuff.
But that's a good
story for them though
isn't it?
You can see why
they've done that.
But also interesting
the American guy
he wasn't mental.
He was proper
he was wishing death
on him and everything.
It was like oh this
guy isn't even
he hasn't fun he hasn't't, can't have a part.
Yeah, but perhaps I get the impression that he's less well-known.
Yeah, that he's more of a...
So that is, yeah.
No, it's fair enough.
No, I mean, there is a massive reaction from comedians when something is considered stolen.
But then it just brings up people who don't understand it.
So, like, Brian McFadden is a judge.
Yes, yes.
On Australia's Got Talent.
No, come on, he's earned that.
Yeah, he has earned that because, obviously, he's a very talented man and he married an Australian come on he's earned that yeah he has earned that because
obviously he's very talented man and he married an australian yeah so come on he has earned that
yeah um and danny minogue of course she no come on she has earned that she has earned that she
is australian yeah and of course she knows about my sister's talent yeah because she has watched
her sister yeah now brian mcfadden give it this brilliant argument where he says i feel a bit
sorry for the poor lad
because it's all about the delivery, isn't it?
It doesn't matter whose material it is.
Oh, right, delivery comes into it.
Delivery comes into it, yeah, but it has to be your stuff as well.
Firstly, the bloke's delivery was shit.
Yeah, he wasn't great.
I mean, if you watch it on YouTube, after every joke he does,
he looks like a dog that's just brought a ball back.
He's just literally waiting for a treat yeah
waiting for a laugh so yeah he just like looks quite eager and happy yeah i mean let's also
remember this lad is 22 years old yeah and perhaps his 30 year old self will look back on this with
nothing but cringe he perhaps doesn't understand the implication of what he did yeah he doesn't
understand that that community or that you know but he doesn't understand how comedy works and
how people but then there were so many people saying using that argument saying it's all about
the delivery but and they were saying oh i'll go on and cover songs it's like well that's fine if
he'd gone on and gone now i'm going to do some of lee mack's material absolutely then that would
have been fine but he wasn't he went on it's right it's oh okay hello brian mcfadden hello i've just
come here to perform my new song flying without wings yeah that's exactly what i have written
yeah that's exactly what it's like.
It's like, what can I go in and do?
It's a little song I've put together for you this evening.
Start spreading the news.
Yeah, that is the actual crystallised difference, isn't it?
Yeah.
That's what the issue is there.
Yeah.
I agree.
But, I mean, he got his comeuppance, didn't he?
Although, I'll tell you what,
when he went on there again and did his own material,
I mean, when I watched it, I was like,
I could probably perform this material quite well.
But it's all in the delivery.
Yeah, I know.
But I wouldn't have ever got myself into that situation
anyway. No, you wouldn't have done. But then, for some
unbeknownst reason, he sang the song.
That was possibly
the most painful thing.
He sang I Started a Joke with
a choir. Beautiful song, I Started a Joke.
Yeah, I mean, they asked him,
I think I heard on the clip,
they asked him to do 70 seconds of his own material.
He got 30 seconds in and had to do a song.
I might mention as well, he didn't write I started a joke.
No.
It's heartbreaking, isn't it?
Yeah, it was painful.
It was really painful.
Against my better judgment, I still felt for the lad.
On a purely human level,
that he just stood there, whereas literally the world, I still felt for the lad. On a purely human level. Yeah. But he just stood there.
Was literally the world, it seemed, threw things at him.
And he still stood there with a smile going,
I'm just trying to be...
I just want you to like me.
That's all I want.
I just want...
They were insulting him.
Yeah.
You know, your material shit.
Yeah, your material sucks ass, mate.
And he went, okay, thank you.
Yeah, the guy went, no, your material really sucks ass.
I think you should start stealing stuff again.
Do other people's material.
He went, oh, thanks, mate.
Just desperately trying to be a nice man.
Yeah, he does seem like a nice man.
Mate, I know for a fact he's a nice man because Brian McFadden said he's one of the funniest people to hang around with.
And that he really wanted him to do well. I do miss Brian McFadden said he's one of the funniest people to hang around with and that he really
wanted him to do well
I do miss Brian McFadden
I wish he was more
prominent in the UK
I do miss Brian McFadden
from when he got
in a fight
outside a kebab shop
what happened there
there was one day
a scandal
that he got in a fight
outside a kebab shop
and I'll always remember it
because the shop
was called
Abra Kebab
and what was the shop was called Abra Kebab Row.
And what was the... Why was that a scandal?
I don't know,
it's just old Brian McFadden's
got in a fight.
Isn't that just the way
that the UK acts all over?
They can criticise it.
Oh, yeah, he's had a fight,
he's had a fight.
Yeah.
Yeah, he puts his cock
in Kerry Katona.
No one says a bloody word.
I think that's a punishment
in itself though, isn't it?
Maybe that's what happened.
Yeah.
Maybe that after the fight he was arrested and took back to the jail.
And he went, right, well, you've got to leave Westlife.
Straight away.
So that's what happened.
He went, oh, come on.
Oh, come on, lads.
And they went, no, you've got to leave it.
He went, all right, that's fine.
And the rest of your punishment is you've got to see this.
See this.
And he's going, no, no, please.
No, I can't put it in that waste disposal unit.
Now, that's not a waste disposal unit, that's someone's private ninny.
That is Kerry Katona's ninny!
That's not a medical waste facility!
Oh, you have made a classic mistake there.
Ignore that number plate.
We don't know what that's doing in there.
Won't you stay another day?
So I went to see...
It was my introduction to talking
about Take That. Oh, can we not do more
Take That, please? By singing
a song by... Dead Christmas
number one. Dead Christmas number one by 17.
Yeah.
Mate, what a show. Yeah. Mate. What? What a show.
Yeah.
I saw you banging about it on Twitter.
What a bloody show, mate.
Oh, it was great to see them all back together again.
Yeah.
All doing the songs that they like.
Leave Before the Encore, Miss the Crush.
Did you?
Yeah.
I left after their last song.
They done Pray and then we left.
Oh, I hate that song.
Do you?
Yeah, particularly that one.
They done like a mash-up of all their favourites.
Yeah.
Because they've got so many, mate.
Then they've done Pray and something else,
and then we left.
So you didn't see him do Angels?
No, he did Angels earlier.
Have they done Stay Another Day or not?
Yeah, Stay Another Day, they've done that.
Hey, I'll tell you what, though.
Speaking of Angels,
drives me bloody mental, you know.
What?
You know when you go and see a Robbie Williams concert?
He comes out, doesn't he?
Oh, no.
He comes out, doesn't he?
Hang on.
And he goes,
Hey, come on, you don't know this one?
No, you can't.
And then you get them all singing.
No.
No, that is no...
That's fine, that joke.
Is it alright?
Is that a public property now?
That's a public joke now.
As we discussed earlier on.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, because they came out as a four.
And by the way, I did want to miss the crush on the tube.
Yeah.
Because what a crush it would have been.
Because I'm not joking, even though they set up Samaritans for them girls
and take that broke up, I think a lot of them have been comfort eating.
Oh, really?
Okay.
The size of the arses walking up to Wembley.
Oh, well, that's...
I mean, you're hardly a svelte yourself, are you?
Yeah, but imagine two of my arses next to each other.
That is one woman in some jeans.
Oh, really?
Okay.
Well, at least it's a step up from leggings.
Yeah, I suppose so.
Yeah.
No, it was jeans, because they are grown up now, aren't they?
Yeah, they are, yeah.
So, they came out as a four.
Everyone, happy, happy.
Doing...
How did they come out?
How did they start it?
Did they just walk on from the side?
Yeah, pretty much.
Did they really?
No, they had loads of different things that they were doing.
None of the themes made sense.
For instance...
At the beginning, though, the first reveal. I can't remember, you know. You can't remember the first reveal of the concert? No, they had loads of different things that they were doing. None of the themes made sense. At the beginning, though, the first reveal.
I can't remember, you know.
You can't remember the first reveal of the concert?
No, no.
Did a curtain go up?
Did he come out of the floor like Michael Jackson?
They had loads of different bits where they come out of the floor.
Oh, right, OK.
And they had a bit where they were on robot hands.
And they had a bit where they themed a song around Alice in Wonderland
for no discernible reason.
Well, it's a good book, isn't it?
And Mark Owen rode on the back of a big caterpillar.
Well, that's nice, isn't it?
Well, there's the reason.
Yeah.
Mark Owen clearly came into rehearsals one day sulking
and everyone all day was going,
What's up, Marky?
What's up?
What's up, Mark?
Nothing, nothing.
All right, then.
And then he didn't say nothing for another two hours.
Yeah.
Are you sure you're all right, Mark? No, I'm fine.
I'm fine. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered.
I just feel a bit depressed.
Well, that's all you, Mark.
In our new concert, can I ride on a caterpillar?
Not really, Mark.
There's no reason for that, is there?
I just don't really like to have a go on a caterpillar.
And if we've got all this money, I don't see any reason
why I can't have a go on a caterpillar. And then Gary went, I'll money, I don't see any reason why I can't have a go on a caterpillar.
And then Gary went, I'll deal with this, lads.
How about this, Marky?
Alice in Wonderland.
That's got a caterpillar in it, hasn't it?
Oh, Gary, could I do that?
We will do a song for Mark
all about Alice in Wonderland.
Yeah?
Now, come on.
Let's crack on with some more of my songs.
Right.
So they'd done them things as a four,
a few of the newer ones,
like Morrison's and X-Men, right?
Yeah.
Then they went away,
and there was a video of Robbie.
Oh, they went mental, the women.
The video?
Yeah.
They went mental.
And by the way,
the organisers of the concert had thought of this,
because before the concert started,
on the video screens,
there were constant adverts for Tenor Lady.
Right. Which is ridiculous.
I mean, it's quite a surreal scenario, isn't it?
Yeah.
You know, the fact that there's videos for Tenor Lady
with all these ladies that now need it.
Yeah.
That you're there.
Yeah.
As a trendy young lad.
They're under duress, pretty much, watching this concert
while all the time we know that Marko is backstage
with Gary Bonner saying, no, get off it for now, Mark.
Mark, don't
climb on the caterpillar yet. Mark, it's not ready yet.
It's not ready yet. And he's not
saying nothing, Mark. He's just looking,
staring right back at Gary
and carrying on climbing as he stares
back. And Gary's going, Mark,
get off the caterpillar. I mean
it. We'll take it out of the show. No, you
won't. We will take it out of the show. No, you won't.
We will take it out of the show.
You're not my real dad.
Now, there was a lady there, actually.
A pregnant lady.
I had to take that concert.
Yeah, a pregnant lady.
And you would have thought, oh, that's a bit... She can't go to that.
You know, she was heavily pregnant.
Was she?
But you could tell she was a big fan
because she was wearing a T-shirt
which she had written on herself.
Okay.
And with an arrow pointed down towards her bump. Yep. And she had written, I wish this was wearing a t-shirt which she had written on herself and with an arrow
pointed down
towards her bump
and she had written
I wish this was Gary's.
Really?
Yeah.
I'll tell you what
would be horrible
if that was
Mark Owen's baby.
Wouldn't it?
Wouldn't that be terrible?
I wish then Mark
saw it from the stage.
Yeah, but anyway.
He wouldn't have seen it
from up on top
of that caterpillar.
Too far away, innit?
Enough of them four, right?
They've gone.
Oh, here comes Robbie right
what a showman he is
for showman
read dick
I just hate it
people go
he's such a showman
no he is a prick
oh he is a bit of a showman
yeah
like at the office party
he is like
alright
his name would be Ricardo
yeah okay
Ricardo
Ricardo
come and do some of your impressions
Ricardo
he'd come out and done
I mean
I'd say seven
of his solo songs
okay
it's not really a show
with them together
particularly
well is he
sort of like
the support act as well
well yeah
no but he'd come
he's sort of
and then a headline act
really because he comes out
it might have been unusual
for him to not have performed
some of his songs
yeah I suppose
did Gary do any of his solo stuff
no I don't think so
Mark Owen didn't do
any of his solo stuff
really no there was one moment we didn't get treated to any of Howard's unreleased solo stuff no he Did Gary do any of his solo stuff? No, I don't think so. And Mark Owen didn't do any of his solo stuff either.
No.
There was one moment...
And we didn't get treated to any of Howard's unreleased solo stuff.
No, he didn't do any DJing.
No.
There was one moment where, when they were four,
they all went down to the fences, where all the people were,
and leaned in, like singing.
So people were grabbing Mark Owen, going mental, grabbing Gary Barlow.
No one touching Howard.
Really?
No one went Howard. Really?
No one went for it.
Probably because he dribbled on someone's head.
Maybe he looks a bit mucky, doesn't he?
He does a bit.
Remember when he had them dreads?
I don't think anyone wishes it was Howard's.
Yeah.
And Robbie, when he was on by himself, right?
Oh, but this is a lead-up to it.
When they came out as a four, before they started,
they went, oh, thank you so much for coming to our concert. Let's all sing the national anthem.
What?
Let's all sing the national anthem.
And then a joke?
No, made everyone stand up.
Shut up.
Sing the national anthem.
Really?
Yep. Horrific.
Such a Tory Barlow.
Yeah.
He really is, though.
It gets worse. Barlow's not the worst one. Robbie's out there by himself.
Give me a cheer if you're English.
Right.
I'm so proud to be English.
Really?
Yeah, give me a cheer if you're English. Everyone cheered. I proud to be English. Really? Yeah, give me a cheer if you're English.
Everyone cheered.
I just wanted to go, can no one else join in with this?
And it's not even British, he's just gone with English.
He's gone with English, yeah.
Horrible, and getting them all to cheer if they're English and how proud he is to be English.
It sounds like you had a wonderful time at your concert.
I did, it was a real ball, mate, and they've done all the ones I like.
Well then, for all the criticism I've given,
I don't mind as long as you enjoyed yourself.
I did, yeah.
And I don't want anyone having a go at you
for just enjoying yourself
at the concert
and being a light-hearted lad.
They already have.
Who had a go at you?
You know,
you have spoken to them as well.
I have spoken to them.
On Twitter.
I know, I know.
On Twitter,
because I was putting
all my funny comments
about Robbie Williams
being funny.
Which were actually
harmless enough.
Yeah, they were.
I didn't say it was
a shit concert.
No.
Because it wasn't.
It was alright.
Yeah, you said
they'd done a million love songs
but that was a long concert. Ha ha ha.
Yeah, I did say apparently thousands
of people find Robbie Williams funny. I'm obviously doing
something wrong. Yeah, well that's fine. It's fine.
That's more self-deprecating, isn't it?
I got a response from
a woman called At Robbie's
Angel. Yeah, now the thing is...
So she was completely unbiased about the whole thing.
I wasn't going to say
her name until I entered into
discourse with her. Yeah, because she got rude with you,
didn't she? Yeah. So she replied to you
saying, why did you go if you're
going to make a joke out of their amazing performance?
I know you're a comedian
and your was wrong, by the way, if you're an apostrophe.
As a lot of people pointed out to her. Did they really?
A comedian. But
this isn't funny. Yeah. Now that sounds like
you'd gone on there and made a joke about maddie yeah right as opposed to about take that about robbie yeah so i saw that made me
laugh and then i thought i doubt ed follows her and i doubt she follows you no she doesn't so
she's obviously at home like because i put the hashtags take that so she's obviously looking at
all the hashtags so she kicked off you retweeted it and that was the end of that um but then i
thought you know what i'm gonna i want was the end of that but then I thought
do you know what
I'm going to
I want to shout at her
but then I thought
no I want to play this
I'll tell you what
I didn't want to enter
into a discourse
with a woman
who puts her location
as Robbie's bed
slash Derby
yeah but I mean
we don't know that
Robbie's bed isn't in Derby
so let's not criticise her
too much
in case they're both
factually correct
I don't think he has a bed mate
he's always up
because he's addicted
to Red Bull he is addicted to Red Bull.
He is addicted
to Red Bull, isn't he?
Yeah.
So I said to her,
well said, Robbie's angel.
Why did Ed Gamble go?
In fact,
why did anyone go?
You're right.
You shouldn't make a joke
about some things.
Right?
Which is actually
fairly innocuous
and just a bit teasy
but not anything dramatic.
And she said,
what an awful attempt at a stupid joke.
Right?
So she's very angry.
Yeah, very angry.
Very angry lady.
I've looked at her Twitter account.
All she talks about is take that.
I mean, we can't necessarily rule out that this is actually Robbie's Twitter.
Yeah, that's true.
Right?
Let's not say for definite.
We already know that it's in Robbie's bed.
Yeah.
That she is writing them from.
Yeah.
So she said, what an awful attempt at a stupid joke.
And I said, Robbie Williams, that's a bit harsh of you.
He's not that bad.
So I was actually paying him a compliment.
Yeah.
And she said, it is quite clear by my name and picture that I love Robbie more than life.
So just fuck off, grow up and get a life.
Oh.
Now, I had several problems with that.
First off, it was the repetition of life.
So she loves Robbie more than life, but I should get a life.
Right?
Yeah.
Grow up, obviously, that's self-explanatory.
Why I should have an issue with her telling me to grow up
when she's just said that she loves Robbie Williams more than life.
So I had an issue with most of that.
But anyway, I honed in on a saying on my picture,
which is a picture of Robbie Williams and Mark Owen touching a forest together.
And I said, God, is that you?
You look like little baby Mark Owen.
Please don't swear, Mark. It doesn't suit you.
And she said,
no, that is not me.
It is Mark Owen
in my picture
with his best mate, Robbie.
His best mate, Robbie.
Yeah.
You should have said,
I think Robbie's best mate
is Jonathan Wilkes, actually.
Yeah, yeah.
I hope Jonathan Wilkes doesn't see that.
I wish I'd said that now.
Is it too late?
It is too late
because she's blocked me.
This was the last thing that I said and then she didn't reply to this.
I said, right, I'm not getting this.
Are you Robbie or Mark?
Did the other two die?
I know Stephen Gately did, sadly, to make it a four.
Nothing back from that.
Nothing back from that.
But I didn't like quite how abusive she went with it.
Yeah, it was...
Oh, fuck this.
Very protective over Robbie.
Yeah, fuck this, fuck that.
I mean, that could be Robbie's mum, maybe. Or sister. Yeah, it was very protective over Robbie. Yeah, fuck this, fuck that. I mean, that could
be Robbie's mum
maybe or sister.
Yeah, from
Robbie's bed.
Yeah, you'd
have no idea.
Well, she got to
bed when Robbie
moved out.
Well, that's
pretty much
what's done, but
before we go, I've
got to do this section
that we've all looked forward to.
I'm starting to put it at the end.
I thought we got away with it.
Because I know that people
like listening to it,
this bit,
so they wait for this bit,
so they listen to the whole podcast now.
Right.
Just to get to this point.
Rather than listening to it
and then stopping
after you've done this bit.
Yeah, which most people
probably do.
Yeah.
Here we go.
It's time for the regular
running section,
which, by the way,
has now been
proven as being successful because when i said last week come on say if you if you want to enter
the competition you've got to enter it get involved then they all did they did it about
four people did miles more than that oh yeah count them miles more than that one two three four i
can't count because i can't get up on the screen at the moment because we're recording yeah but
it's miles more than that all right over at peacock peacockandgamble.com on the forum. They're all on about it.
Right?
What was the answer to last week's then?
Petrol.
All right, okay.
Right, so here is...
Well done, everyone that got that.
Almost everyone got it.
Yeah.
So here's this week's one
where Ray says a food or a drink
says the ingredients of it,
reads them out, out loud,
and then in the middle of the ingredients,
Ray will say a rogue ingredient
right right i mean maybe she's not called this section rogue ingredient yeah that's nice or
petrol we could just call it no because that doesn't actually explain the premise
so in the middle of all the ingredients there will be a rogue ingredient and then you've got
to spot that right petrol might be petrol might not be petrol you've got to spot that and then
if you get it right
then we say well done
just send him petrol now
just while we're in the week
this week
to link it nicely
to the old section
which was called
Ray says a food
and
says a food
reminds you of the food
or drink
that you've had in the past
so that one we used to do
this week
water
bottle of Evian water
right
and I'm going to do the ingredients
of a bottle of Evian water
ingredients
and you tell me
which is the rogue ingredient in this
here we go, so here's the water
and the ingredients of that
the ingredients of it, the ingredients of water
which might be, maybe it's on the inside of the
might be inside this
yeah, I think it might be
nothing there
I thought by law the actual ingredient
it's water, it'll just be water.
No, it's going to be petrol, mate, but I'm...
No.
Let me just find the ingredients and I'll...
Mate, just say water, petrol.
Store in a clean, cool...
No, that's not it.
No, but it's just water.
That's not what they indicated.
Ingredients.
Official bottle water of Wimbledon.
All right, well, sadly, this week,
there is no...
raise ingredient road,
all the things I said before,
because Evian
are breaking the law
and not putting the ingredients
on their products.
No, it's water.
That's all it is.
That's all it is, water.
So, there'll be another one
next week.
I don't mean another one.
There will be a new one
next week.
If there is a podcast
next week.
What?
Because, come on.
Come on now.
Come on now.
Edinburgh now.
Edinburgh's coming up.
Yeah. The Edinburgh Fringe. So, I'd like to recall the army. Yes, Because, come on. Come on now. Come on now. Edinburgh now. Edinburgh's coming up. Yeah.
The Edinburgh Fringe.
So, I'd like to recall the army.
Yes, please, come back.
You've been on shore leave
and that's fine.
You've probably had it
off with a prostitute.
Yeah, probably got one
on your knee
playing the piano.
Yeah, you might have
a little sore
on the end of your penis.
Yeah.
Which you should get looked at.
Yeah, you should do
by the ship's doctor.
Yeah, they say that
if you have unprotected sex
with a prostitute in Vietnam
always urinate
immediately afterwards.
Do they? I don't know if that helps. On her? Yeah, right in that if you have unprotected sex with a prostitute in Vietnam, always urinate immediately afterwards. Did they?
I don't know if that helps.
On her?
Yeah, right in her face.
But anyway, enough of doing all that, because we now need the army back.
The army first time round was fantastic, it was great, and then we let it fall away a little bit.
Because what we were doing was a dry run, which brings us back to the Vietnamese prostitute.
So we'd like that groundswell of support again.
You did so well on the dry run.
You come back now for the the dry run you come back now
for the war
yeah come back now
for the actual war
which is the Edinburgh
Fringe
so we're there
from the 3rd of August
to the 28th of August
doing our show
and also doing the
podcast on the Sundays
that fall within that
yeah we're doing
emergency broadcast
every night
and the podcast
on the 7th, 14th, 21st
and the 28th
also at the Dome
as well
yes
it'd be great
if we could now
start doing our
army business
all over the internet
to get a bit of momentum
as we go into Edinburgh.
Yeah, build up a bit
of publicity
before we get into Edinburgh.
And we're doing
loads of publicity.
We are.
We've got quite a lot
of things coming in.
Yeah.
Which I don't think
we should really mention
until maybe next week
until they're probably
confirmed or done.
Until they're confirmed
or done,
we'll mention them.
But we're doing some
really exciting,
really fun stuff.
Yeah.
I know the one that I'm thinking of. Yeah, I know the one that i'm thinking yeah i know the one that i'm thinking of and it's on the television
yeah but it's not just it's on the television it is i'm really excited about it i've never
replied to an email so quick i did notice how quickly you replied to that just saying yeah we
will do it and we'll do it for no money that sounds brilliant that would be a really good laugh
um so yeah so we're going to be doing stuff as well. It'd be great.
Let's get the team going.
Let's scrum down.
Scrum down.
So you're going from an army metaphor,
and then within that, we're doing rugby, are we?
Yeah, ideally, yeah.
I do see it as that we are a big scrum.
That us and our fan base, or let's be honest, our friends.
Yeah.
Not real life friends, chat rebel.
So yeah, so let's come down.
So it's me and Ed, and we've got our arms around each other.
Yeah.
And then we'll put our arms around you as well.
Are you the hooker?
Oh, you lot.
Yeah, I'll be hooker.
Okay, I'm tight-haired prop.
So we need a prop on the left-hand side, because I want my right arm around Ed, ideally.
Ed's going to put his arm around someone as well.
Yeah.
We're going to make a...
A girl, if there's one there.
Yeah, a girl, if there's one going.
The front row is about 40 people. Yeah. Which makes the back row into 20 people. Yeah. Or whatever's one there. Yeah, a girl, if there's one going. The front row is about 40 people,
which makes the back row into 20 people.
Or whatever the maths is.
But let's make a big scrum and have a good old push.
Let's push towards that line.
Against Team Edinburgh.
Yeah, Team Edinburgh.
Because Team Edinburgh, by the way,
are pretty fierce, pretty ruthless.
Pretty big.
A dirty team.
Yeah.
Very dirty team.
They'll give you sly digs in the scrum.
Loose arms,
studs down their shins.
So what we're basically saying is, apart from all these analogies, you know, if you feel
like you want to help, you enjoy it, and you want to
promote it a bit, then that'd be lovely. Be our Peacock
and Gamble parachute. What? We are
hurtling. So we're a scrum
that's just jumped out of
an army plane. We are hurtling towards
the Edinburgh fringe ground, right?
We have reached maximum velocity.
Yeah.
And we're going to die unless our parachute defends.
Damn, yeah.
Open, right?
And envelop air to make our descent.
The air of promotion.
Success and promotion.
To capture the success air.
Yeah.
And bring us slowly down to the Edinburgh Fringe ground
where we can fall onto the
grass.
And
yeah, thanks guys.
Cheers for that. Thanks for your support. See you next week.
Peacock and Gamble podcast
was devised and performed by
Ray Peacock and Ed Gamble.
All music by the Tiger Lilies except for the last one, which is performed by Ray Peacock and Ed Gamble. All music by The Tiger Lilies, except for the last one,
which is performed by Frank Seidlott.
The Peacock and Gamble podcast is a Ready production
hosted by Chortle.co.uk.
See you next week.