The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S1E10 (January 26, 2002)

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

The show ran between September 2001 and May 2002 before Gervais and Merchant went on hiatus to film the second series of ‘’The Office’’. Initially, Pilkington’s on-air presence was relativ...ely minimal compared to what it would become. Gervais and Merchant only occasionally called for Karl to weigh in with his thoughts, while the two mostly talked to each other, with the “links” between songs comprising only about 30 minutes of the show’s 2-hour run time.As Pilkington’s personality moved to the forefront, the talk portion of the show expanded to roughly an hour per 2-hour broadcast. While the show relied largely upon a stream-of-consciousness format, Pilkington made attempts to keep things more conventional by insisting on running contests and airing pre-recorded segments and regular “features”.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, it's there. On XFM 104. 0. I'm Ricky Jovey's. I'm with you. It's with you, the t-serve. It's with me, the truth. It's just using the traditional English language.
Starting point is 00:00:16 But you put me off, you point it to yourself and I just said Steve Merchant. You know what? You know, their thanks, the tha. week you introduce me. You say with me and I go Steve Merchant. No, yeah. So it's a catch-phrase that everyone's waiting to hear it. But usually I go Ricky Gervais and you go with Steve Merchant, but this time you pointed to you so I said it. But I didn't say it, it caught me off guard, so so I didn't use the sentence. Oh, I don've got the kind of mic have you ever seen that picture of when John Lennon was off his head on smack recording let it be and he was lying on the floor at Abbey Road that's basically what Rick it's like man. It's not good for you that look at
Starting point is 00:00:54 the you're not you can't breathe probably in the diaphragm so you're gonna get speak badly to speak medical stuff there I was trying to run into trouble. What are the words to wam rap? What are the words to what I don't remember? What the hell's got into you? D-duhh. Hey, sucker!
Starting point is 00:01:18 No, there's nothing you can do. Brilliant. You look forward to a forthcoming revival of your music career. Rick, I had some devastating news last night. Go on. You know when I left you, I was off to buy a PlayStation 2. Yeah. I just, I was totally in the move for a ride. Or a PS2 as he said.
Starting point is 00:01:34 Yeah, yeah, which confused him, granddad. Anyway, so you know, I think I went in like some electrical stop on Oxford Street. Yeah. And uh... The thing I just say about Steve is, I wouldn't say he's mean, he hates that. He's careful, right? And he will, he will spend days to get a pound off. Rick, two and a half hours I walked around last night. I swear to God, walking to different shops right. I went from Oxford Street back again, along the length of Oxford Street back again all over the place, right? I realised they basically couldn't get a better deal than about 240 quid, right, for a console and a game. So I ended up in Virginia Megastore, I bought an auto grand theft 3 or whatever and a PlayStation
Starting point is 00:02:13 and a memory card, however. So I shoot off and I'm walking off and I'm going to the tube and I walk all the way to HMV on opposite Bond Street and I just popped in th. because because because because because because because because because because in their their their I was popped in their.. I was just thii so I'm th. I'm their th. I'm just the the th. I'm just th. I'm just their their th. I'm their thia. I'm thoved thoing. I'm their thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I'm their 1 1 1. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm thruged and I'm thrown. I'm thrown. I'm togeoeoeoeoeoeoeooge. Soe. Somea. Someenguloed and I've throwne. Soe. Somea. And I went there stairs and I was walking past the Playstations and it went, if you buy a PlayStation 2, you can get Grand Theft Auto 3 with 20 pounds off. I was absolutely devastated. What did you do? I just, I, I just, I, I crumbled. I didn't know what to do. I was thinking of taking it back and I went to it. No, I didn't mean to buy this though. What did you buy? Keyboard. Exactly. So the problem is when I get it back and I wire it up and that, all I can see is the cars
Starting point is 00:02:48 are racing around the track. All I'm thinking is, it's like one of those cartoons when a really hungry bloke could just see his mate as like a big chicken. All I could see on the TV was just a by 20 grand. I could have bought like another cheap game for that. We went to the, did I tell you this? Would you give me 20 pounds and then I'll shut up about it? Yeah, yeah we went to the casino one to group of us and I lost about 100 quid and it was it was you know great it was someone's birthday I thin's birthday and Steve after three hours of gambling. I was going you're really gutted on you. It the you. It you. It you. It you. It you. It you. It the you. It the you. It you. Did the their their their their their their their their their th you're you give you give you give you give you give you're you'd you give you give you're you'd you'd you'd you'd to give you'd to give you'd to give you'd you'd you'd you'd you'd you'd you'd to give. Would th. Would th. Would th. Would th. Would th. Would th. Would th. Would th. Would th. Would th. Would th. Would th you'd the th you'd the their their their their their their their their their their their their their to give to give to give you'd give you give you're g. Did to give you give you give you give you give you give you give you give you give you'd to give you'd to give you'd to give you'd to give to give to give I'd lost the £20 he got out to play it with. I was going, you're really gutted aren't you? He just went, have you had the idea how much cheese I could get for £20? Yeah. Cold meats?
Starting point is 00:03:33 For £20? And there's again, last night. $20. I've robbed of 20 pounds. Literally, they've taken it from my hand, the HMV people. They've taken that and they've... I'm gonna try and think there's some things to cheer you up. Should we play some songs? I never enjoy any record where I think I or a four-year-old could have made it. Do you know what I mean? It's like it's cheating, it's musical cheating. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of that one. I won't play that again then. All right? Okay. That's done. Yeah. Nice. Shake on it. Shake on it. Yeah. KFN. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. I'm not a today. that's K. K. K. K. K. K. I I I I I I I I I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. I. I. I. That. I. I. That. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. that. I. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. 't we? And it's raining. He said he was soaking wet. I said to him, I said Rick would want
Starting point is 00:04:29 you to do it, I wanted to do it, I wanted to do it, just take your clothes off, pop him over there. But do you know what? And he wouldn't do? And he said, Itake your trousers off and I thought hold on Rick is not here, what's he up to? Little thought. No, I was talking on behalf of Rick. I phoned him up, I said he's wet, what should I suggest? Well I said, I was in his ear, I was, he had the earpiece and I was going to tell him, and I can't even go and I was going to tell him, no, no, it, it, it, it, it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, them off. Carl, Carl, Carl. Carl, come on Carl. He doesn't want to. No, I know he doesn't. We won't talk to you much, but go on. It's just nice to say hello to you.
Starting point is 00:05:10 Yeah. I think people quite like, do you know you're here. Yeah. We've had some fan mail. insulted? Why did he? Why did you get insulted? See it wasn't very good, I look like you in Camfield, all right? Oh! What's an insult? Ladies love Camfield? Yeah. I mean they're weird kind of heavy metal ladies, but... Yeah, they love Camfield. I thought of you look like to say, but I think you might find it insulting as well. It's just meant to be affectionate. For people you don't know what you look like, you look like like like like the Muppets. I can't see how that would be an insult.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Ah, oh God, we don't know you put it like that. It is, but it's sort of like I like Beaker. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but you like him because he's a fool. He just goes, what did he do? What did he do? He said? Yeah. Well, the little fat. that, he, he, that, that, that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that. that would that would that would that would that would that would. that would. that would. that would. that would. that would. that would. that. that. that would. that. that would. that would. that. that would that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that used to accompany him everywhere, that professor. Oh yeah, a little fat, little bloke. Yeah, that's nice. Carl, what was it that you told me as well when you came in?
Starting point is 00:06:10 Just, just Kyle's thought for the day. Okay. Carl, what did you tell me when you came in? Because it was miserable out and you made a decision. I like it already. I was thinking, could you imagine dying today? Go on, can you explain more though? Just because when you're dying, you're always like in your bedroom, in your bed and your family's next door. Always, yeah. And I just thought, can you imagine lying there looking out your window because they do that as well, they sort of have the curtains open to get a bit of light on your face and I just thought what a day if this was like your last
Starting point is 00:06:47 day could you imagine? But they go on you made another... It's a fan when they're made another more even more profound point. You said if instead of dying on a rainy day you'd prefer to... No if you died on a bit of a nice sunny day, then it's not so bad. No, it's your last day looking out on the world and look at it. Don't you agree? Yeah. I thought that was a beautiful point. It was poetic almost. It was, wasn't it?
Starting point is 00:07:15 Because, no, no, the point was that what upset me was that you said you'd been thinking about that today on the way in, and it upset you, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it upset you, th upset you, th upset you, th upset you, th upset you, th upset you, thops upset you, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, don't, don't, tho, tho, don't, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, was that if you think about the people that are dying any day, it'll upset you. Yeah. Do you see? Yeah, but you don't think about it when it's sunny because you think well they'll be all right today. They won't be that annoyed. You're absolutely annoyed? Annoyed. I'm thinking that. Oh, I'm ripped. No. Oh, I'm dying today. Oh, I'm dying. I'm dying. Doy. Doy. Doy. Doy. Doy. Doy. Doy. Doy. Doy. Doy. Doy. Doy. Oh. Oh, I'm dying to to to to to to to die. Oh, I'm dying. Oh, I'm dying. Oh, I'm dying. Oh, I'm dying. Oh. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, I'm dying. Oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I th. Do, I th. Yeah, I th. Do, I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I th. Yeah. up and I opened the curtains and I thought look at it. I'm glad I'm not dying today. Yeah. I can't play a song. Yeah. Interesting. My old historical society. Watching Zana do on XFM 104.9. I'm Ricky DeVayes. With me, Steve Merchant.
Starting point is 00:07:53 See, it doesn't work if you's. With me Steve Merchant. See it doesn't work if you say with me Steve Merchant. I've got to say with me Steve Merchant. I've got say with me, or you just go with Steve Merchant. Sure, sure. See what I mean? Okay. It's not as easy as it seems as it seems like, no. You know this right. You know This right? I mean. What? What? What? That's the radio. T the radio. T the radio. T. T. T. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't. It's th. sort of like chat. And they still pay us, it seems we don't want. So you just do this all day? What all day on XFM? Or just get a license where it is just, it's Ricky and Steve FM? And we just chat and we go, what are you doing there, Steve, just having breakfast? Oh, all right, yeah. Oh, I'm just reading the paper. And it would just talk and we play records.
Starting point is 00:08:45 For 24 hours a day? Yeah. I mean, have you spotted any flaws in that plan or? It would be boring after about an hour and a half? Yeah. Oh, okay. I mean, this is boring now. No, we were talking about, to have a tho' their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, thin, thin, the, the, thin, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th......... th. th. I. I. I. I, th. I, thro. I, ttttttttogether, together, together, together, together, together, tho. together, tho. tho. toda. I, th. I, th. I had that thought when I went out to get some orange juice and I had that thought. So maybe this show can be about, let's have thoughts. Okay. So we have thought? Yeah. Okay. Or if we haven't got any, they could
Starting point is 00:09:11 phone in with some. Okay. Or email a thought maybe if you'veophobic though please? Yeah or um not downers. No, nothing that's going to bring us down you know? Yeah, upbeat stuff. Yeah, go on Carl. You were going. Do you know how much it takes to run one of the escalators on the underground for 20 hours a day? Yeah, that's what it runs that? To run it, how long? 20 hours a day? That's what it runs to... Is this another of your facts?
Starting point is 00:09:47 These are always substantiated by an independent source, aren't they? They're not just something you overheard on a bus. Am I just a check. This is fact. I read it on a wall in a sandwich? Sometimes I wish I wish this was on. I was on. I was. this you have these substantiated by an independent arbitral thing, Carl just looked at him like he just spoke in French. It just looked like that, it just did it. Okay, so anyway, this information you've got from a reliable source, you read it on the
Starting point is 00:10:15 back of a fag packet or something? No, I think it was in the Metro magazine in the week. Yeah, so here's what's, and let's, and let's, and let's, and let's, and let's, and let's, and let's, and let's, and let's, and let's, and let's, and let's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It, th. It's, th. It's just, th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. It's just hear it again? How much does it cost? Yeah, there's loads of escalators in the underground and they run for 20 hours a day. Yes. Don't tell us how, tell you what, Carl, that's such a fascinating fact. Don't tell us, let's play a record Rick. Okay. And then people can stay tuned if they want to hear how much it costs. This is like some sort of mental home radio. Yeah. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. the. the the thea. thoome. the the the the the the tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. th. th. the. the. thea. thea. tea. tea. tea. today. today. the. the. the. the. the, you know, we have, I've had trauma. We're educated people, but we come out with just rubbish. Gobblety-cook. Just nonsense, it's like, I can't grasp, I don't know why he started saying, I've no, I've no idea what that thought was. You just said, you just said 24 hours about doing radio for 24 hours, so I rem remit I thought 20 hours. Oh God!
Starting point is 00:11:06 So we're now we're now examining the thought processes that we all have before we get some let's just hear a story. Okay right it's half past one and that film sounds good. That film sounds good. That film sounds good. This is where I choose a song from a film that oh that film sounds good. See? This is a film that me and Steve both love and actually he he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the they they they they they they. We we we we th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're the. We're the. We're the. We're thea. We're thea. We're toea. We're toe. We're toe. We're toe. We're to to to to the. good see this is a film that me and Steve both love and actually he saw it first and got me on to it and so I love it and I
Starting point is 00:11:28 did it was Rushmore it was great film and from it features one of my favorite artists of all time the wind by Cat Stevens and this is off the first album I ever bought from Teaser in the Firecat this is the wind from Rushmore that film sounds good. Feathew, Feature, Feature, Feature, Exhibit. It's beautiful song. The album is a superb album. It's seminal. It's just some great songs on here. I feel like playing another one, maybe Song for the Lovers.
Starting point is 00:11:51 the today, the today. It's beautiful. That's beautiful. The album. The that's beautiful. th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th-I-I-I-t-t-t-f-fewoo-fewo-f-fewo-f-fo-fewo-fewo-fewo-fewo-fewo-fewi-fewi-fewi-fewi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. tho-so-so-so-so-so-so-s. tho-s. tho-sa-sa-sa-s. th-s. th like playing another one, maybe song for the lovers. Maybe do it later, yeah. It's beautiful. I have to say I've seen the follow-up to Rushmore. If you enjoy Rushmore, it's this new film, The Royal Tenan Mounds, with amazing castes, with the the tellilet, with amazing castes, Ben-Stilars in it, Gwinneth and Gene Hackman in his golden globe, globien, their golden gu, their golden gu, their gu, their gu, their gu, their gu, th, th, th, th, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, yeah, yeah, th, and th, and th, and th and th and th and th and th and th and th, yeah, yeah, and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and I I I I I I th and I th and I th and I've th, it, I've th and I've the-in, I've the-in, I've thoomen, I've thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomuuuuuu. Nico is on there, Nick Drake, all kinds of treats. Forthcoming in the cinemas Rick. Are you saying the follow-up? Is it the same director?
Starting point is 00:12:30 It's not a sequel. It's the same director, same writer, some of the same cast. Bill Murray makes another appearance. Same style. Haven't the one where they've got a line in it, they've got a catchphrase in it, haven't they? You're the money? You're the money? No, that's it. Yeah, I've seen it. Yeah, Jerry McGuill. I love the sew the money, you went, yeah. Well yours is from, what's his name? Yeah, Jerry McGuion.
Starting point is 00:13:07 No, that show me the money. Yeah. Yeah. That was really articulate. We had, we did a feature. It links into film, Steve Love Films, did a little, you know, off the cuff, then it went into gobbled again. Yeah, I can't even say it.
Starting point is 00:13:23 You that. You 't even say the word Govdiger. Anyway, listen, you had an interesting fact you were going to give us, Kyle. I don't think we can leave people waiting for this any longer. Right. How much does it cost to run one one escalator? That's just one. Yeah. On a London underground it, it's running 20 hours a day because it shuts the four hours in the night night night night night night night night night night night night night night night night night night night night night night the night. the night. the night. the the the the the the the the the the their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. then then th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. It th. It's. It's. It's then then. It's then then. We then. We then. We then. We then. We'. I then then. We then. I then then then. I then the. in the night when they're cleaning up and that. Yeah. How much does it cost to run it for a year? 12 pounds. 60,000 pounds. The trouble with these facts is I've got nothing to compare it against. Well, think about like your yearly electric bill. Well, when you put it like that, when you can... It's a lot, isn't it? When you think they could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could they could they could they could just they could just they could just they could just they it, when you think they could just use stairs. Carl, play a song.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Politics on XFA-104.9, please Steve I like the video more than the song agreed. Good. I just wish we could maybe tape the bits we're not on air just because that's when Carl comes into his own. He just said to me, I don't know what I was doing, I was sort of like pottering around, dancing around doing something annoying probably. And he just looked at me, I'd look at me and he was looking at me and I looked back and he and he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the video. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, the video the video the video the video the video, the video, th. like, th. like, I like, th. like, th. like, I like, th. th. thi. Like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I don't know what I was doing, I was sort of like partying around, dancing around, doing something annoying probably. And he just looked at me, I looked at me, and I look back and he went, have you ever used a Y front properly?
Starting point is 00:14:51 Genius. It's a great question because the answer is definitely no. Definitely no. Does anyone use their Y front properly? And by that, I mean, get you winky out of the little sort of slot provided, as, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, have, th, have, have, have, have, th, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have thi, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, th...... And, have, have, have, have, th. And, have, have, th. And, th. And, have, have, have, have, have, have, have, have a, th. to, have a, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi. tho. thi. thi. thi. thr. the th like put it to one side or pull them down or whatever. Has anyone used a Y front properly? I don't think I've ever done it. I don't think I've ever done it. I don't think I've ever done it. I've never seen anyone in a toilet doing it Rick. You should be looking. I wish I hadn't said that. I caught you. Yeah, yeah, it's a trap. It was the trap. I'm not gay by the way. Yeah, if I was gay, I double bluffed you. Yeah, because I knew the old gay trick. I thought it was the old gay lord say no thing. That is another method. Yeah, there's innumerable methods of doing it. That's how Oscar Wilde was caught. Yeah. Oscar Wilde was caught. Yeah, what happened? the the the the th. I was th. Yeah. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was tha. I was tho. I was tho. I was tho. I was tho. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was tho. I was tho. I was tho. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. Gaylor say no and he went no and they went to the sales.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Yeah, take him to Redding. It is true. Um, well, it originated in America. Yeah. So many of these things do. It's a brilliant point, Carl. I'd like to hear from anyone. Anyone listening who's, I mean, well, they're, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they. It, they. It, they. It, they. It, they. It, they. It, they. It, they. It, they. It, they. It, they. It, they. It, they. It, they. It, they. It. It. It. It. It. It, they. It. It. It. It. It. It, they. It. It. It. It, they. It. It, they're, they're, they're originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated. It originated used sort of flies no usually I sort of just sort of pull my wife on my sort of track suit now that's why I wear sort of like an ashticated waist right
Starting point is 00:16:08 until that time just sort of like speed yeah you got to get in there with the minimum of effort yeah we and out sure often I won't shake no to my detriment to my detriment because it often leaks out a little bit later oh ever been out on a date with a girl where it's just trickled down your you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th you th you th you th you that I I I I I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I that I'm that I'm that I'm that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that's that's that's that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I'm that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not not not not not not that's that's that's not that's not that's that's not that's not that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that I that I that I that th No, to my detriment because it often leaks out a little bit later. Oh. Ever been out on a date with a girl where it's just prickled down your leg and you wish it hadn't and you're thinking, what if she gets my treasures off later? She might see it. What? What?
Starting point is 00:16:34 I don't know. I don't know what I said there. Rick, I have for Christmas something which I think might excite you. Yeah. Don't fill it with the microphone. Well I was just looking at what it was underneath it. Stop, listen to what I'm saying. I know, no listen, let me explain.
Starting point is 00:16:51 People could hear you moving the microphone. Could they? Yeah, I can hear it my head phone. You know it's the little pop shield that goes over the mic I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was the mic. I was the mic. I was the mic. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. I was going. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was was was was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Leave it. Carl, I'll tell you if it's a problem. All right. Why am I talking like that? Um, so this is a book. It's just facts and trivia. It's edited by Sir Isaac Asimov. I think's dead.
Starting point is 00:17:14 So I don't know how to think if Isaac's been involved they're probably substantiated it's not like kind of just this nonsense on the web. Or this is probably... Or up in Greg's the Baker's that Carl gets most of his facts from. The ancient Egyptians trained baboons to wait on tables. Carl fascinated. Carl fascinated. That's fantastic. But what my point about that is why did they stop? Yeah. It's a genius idea. Would you not want to go to a restaurant where they had baboons serving? No, I'll tell you what
Starting point is 00:17:49 happened. It might have been like the Planet the Apes and they sort of rebelled. One of them could talk, one of them could take his order apes isn't true, is it? It's not, it's not documentary. Right, okay. I wonder, because what I like the idea of having baboons is the fact that I reckon they're, like, I have, difficult, and I'm sure you do, and I'm sure you do, Kyle, like, working out that sort of, you know, their go away and you go sucker. Yeah, exactly. So I'd love to see some baboon restaurants. If there's any restaurant out there, so terrace's collar on someone. Could I say, if you do go to a restaurant and you've been waiting on the words, please don't order the banana daquery
Starting point is 00:18:32 because it comes half eaten. They can't they can't help their their their their their their the you imagine that the balloons serving at waiting tables? It's genius. Just stop to think about that, it's absolutely incredible. Yeah, it's absolutely dynamite. Yeah, that's a good fact. See zoos would be a lot more popular if there was like the canteen. You could go if they were serving tickets to two? Yeah, yeah, yeah one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, their one one one one one one. Yeah, their one. Yeah, their one. Yeah, their one. Yeah, their one. Yeah, their one, their, their, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha. Yeah, tha. Yeah, tha, tha. Yeah, tha, tha. Yeah, tha. Yeah, tha, tha, tha, tha, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the their. Yeah, the the the their. Yeah, the the their. Yeah, their. Yeah, the their. Yeah, th. Yeah, tha. Yeah, th. t do other things like in you know in the Flintstones they used to mix cement in that birds kind of pelican yeah yeah we start doing that again. Because that also happened in ancient times. Yeah exactly. Yeah before they had proper cement mixes that's what they did. That was how they did.
Starting point is 00:19:14 That was how they did it. Definitely. Just, yeah. You're in George is it? No, that's those artists. Yeah, they're called Seek Freedom Roy. Yeah, but anyway, who may or may not be gay, and if they all yeah if you shave a tiger's head oh whoa whoa whoa well well okay you've got to treat that sense with a lot more reverence than you did think what you're saying if you shave a tiger's head not just a it's the head it's whole body oh sorry sorry so I thought you were going yeah if you shave a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I th I th I th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is tho tho tho tho tho tho th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thooooo tho tho shave a tie, yeah, go on. It's still stripy underneath. The skin, the skin is like rock? It goes all the way through.
Starting point is 00:20:09 Yeah, that's amazing. Where did you hear that one? That's, I remembered that. Like, I was one. Was that drunk just showing carved. Yeah, that's an interesting fact. Well, you know a polar bear? Polar bear's skin is actually black and its fur is transparent, not white, and it gives the illusion. So it gets all the radiation possible from the sun, but it still camouflaged.
Starting point is 00:20:37 I didn't understand that, Rick, sorry, if it's skin's black and's fur is translucent. And it's true as translucent. So why is it white when we say it? Well it just because the light hits it and... The sun reflects on it. Yeah, and it makes it look white, yeah. So if you look at each individual hair, it's actually translucent. So at night it would be black. Oh, everything is it? Play a record. Oh I know all about animals and stuff. Do you really? P.O.D. A bit of pod there. That's growing on me. Yeah, it's not bad. You know, it rocks. I mean, you've got to give it that.
Starting point is 00:21:11 I will certainly give it that, Ricketts. Yeah, XFM 104. 409, Ricky Duvase. With me Steve Merchant. So more from the facts and trivia book. Edited as I say by Sir Isaac Asimov, so not just overheard on the tube or by a drunk. Well he might have overhaired him on a the one on a the one on a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, th. th. thin, thin, thrown. th. thrown. th. thrown. thrown. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, thin. It's, thin. It's, thin. It's, thin. It's, thrown. It's thrown. It's toe. It's toe. It's toe. It's toe. It's toe. It's toe. It's toe. It's throwne. It's just putting it in a book. Listen to the whole fact here before you make any judgments. Okay. Sourkraut was renamed Liberty Cabbage by Americans during World War I. In their denunciation of all things German, some Americans actually kicked Datsun's. Are the little dogs?
Starting point is 00:22:01 Yeah. Little German dogs, just give them a kicking. Because they were German or they were derived from Germany. I don't know if they got to like a small sort of French village and just said, bring out your Dachians. Why what are you going to do to them? Nothing, give them a little bit of food or something. You're not going to keep him, are you? Because they're the the, no, no, no, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, no, no, because, no, no, no, th, th, th, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, they, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, they, or, they, or, or, or, they, or, or, or, they, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, they, or, or, or, or, or, or,. Well no no bring up the little sausage dog. Okay. Well you're not going to hear it though because if you hear it now it's like it's against
Starting point is 00:22:27 the Geneva Convention. I'm not going to kick it. Well you I didn't even bring up kicking. I didn't have you. Why have you done that? I don't know. Well I haven't got a Datsen. Oh. Sackre. Oh. Sacker. Sackre-I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I don't. I. I don't. I don't. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah, sorry. That thing down my trousers is just a begette. Do you remember that Carl? Do you remember that? Baget or invented by Napoleon so he could carry him down his leg. Let me just find there's one more here that I thought might. I know that there's a lot of those kind of amusing laws and stuff, antiquated laws and that on the way and things. But again, it's Asimov. I I I I I I I I I I I I, it's, it's, it's, it's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that on the way and things but again it's Asimov I'm thinking it's true. City ordinance number 352 in Pacific Grove California makes it a misdemeanor to kill or threaten the butterfly threaten the butterfly. Yeah you can't even threaten a butterfly. Don't even look at it aggressively. Yeah but a butterfly comes down I go what you're looking at? I go nothing. Yeah but see the thing about that is. I that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. the the th. th. th. the th. the th. the the the thi. I the thi. I'm thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. the. I. the. the. I. the. the. I. the. the. the. I. the. the. the. the. the. me with the net. I wasn't doing anything. I'm fishing. But what, see the thing about that is, a lot of the kind of, you're sort of the wilder butterflies from the wrong side of the tracks, they're just going to take advantage of it.
Starting point is 00:23:31 They're going to cruise around, in California, running a mock. Yeah. Should repeat it. Yeah. No, there's another one that I think you'll be a fan off. Oh, it might take me a while to find it. Maybe we should play a track. Oh wow, that sounds nicely.
Starting point is 00:23:55 That's a lovely link. That's thing about you said about playing a tra tra. This is Song for the Lovers and I've chosen a great track here by Lloyd Cole, oft forgotten but a great singer songwriter and this is one of his best songs I think. In fact I think Sandy Shaw covered it in the mid-80s when she had a little bit of that resurgence. It's Are You Ready to Be Heartbroken? And it's a song for the lovers, lovely tune. Enjoy. Are you ready to be heartbroken? Actually, Lloyd Cole, with his commotions that was done with. And I love it.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Beautiful. Cheers. Facts and trivier, the last one, Rick. Go on. Actually, Lloyd Cole, the last one Rick. Go on. This is a sobering lesson for us all. Go on.
Starting point is 00:24:48 At the Pan American Exposition in Buffalo in 1901, President William McKinley received a line of citizens, shaking hands with each. In the line was a man with a handkerchief covering one hand. Neither of the two secret service men guarding the president was curious enough to take a look at what might be under the handkerchief in the hand of the man. Leon Gols-Gos, an anarchist. What he had was a loaded revolver and when the president thrust his right hand out for the shake, Zogosz fired twice. McKinley died a week later.
Starting point is 00:25:19 So what he did there, it was outwit the might of thethe FBI or the Secret Service by covering the gun with a handkerchief. That's brilliant. It's absolute genius. Just think how they had to explain that. And they go, how did they get close enough and shoot the resident? They go, uh, we didn't see the gun? Why? Cover it with the hanky, he? Oh well you're not to blame them. Exactly we got we can't compete with that sort of you know didn't you think to look under the hanky?
Starting point is 00:25:47 No I was just probably just thought it was a hand. Of course because that's what the hand would be. Did you not think he was probably holding a gun on it? Didn't do that we didn't try and we didn't do it, then it's not your fault. Don't worry about it. But he lived, did he, for a week? The president lived with it for a week, yeah. That's because they had to go to him and they're probably shuffling him round his bed going, sorry about that. Why don't you look? I had a hanky, did he? Oh, well, they're now in jail. Well, they were. Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. their. their. they're their. they. they. they they they they they they they they they they they their. their their their. their. their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their th. th. th. the. th. the. the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their the jail to give him some bread and water he had a handker of his hand. Right, yeah. We thought nothing of it. And it was a gun, yeah, it was a gun and he got out. See, you should, do you remember the last, remember the gun, yeah? That's terrible, isn't it? It's pathetic. No one's used that method since.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Because it was effective there, but you don't hear about that now. People using all kinds of elaborate methods to assassinate people, poisoning their wine. I think that was Rasputin. As I recall, they put some poison into his wine. I didn't study an in-history class, that's my memory of it from... But if I listened to Carl last week, chink the glasses. That shows that they used to test it, didn't they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I was th, I was that, I was, I was tho, I was th. I was th, I was th, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was. I was. I was, I was. I was. I was. I was. I was, I was th. I was tho, I was thin, I was thin, I was thin, I was tho, I'm too, I'm too, too, too, too, too, tooed. tooed. tooed. tooed. too, I've they? Pour a little bit from yours into mine, that means I'm not poisoning you. But if you're thinking of murdering someone, you know, a dignitary. Just a hanky over it. Just pop a hanky over it. Just pop a hanky over. Well, I don't know, pop it inside an oven glove. And just wear that as you go to do what you their hands. Or just, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, and just, just, and just, just, just, you, you, just, just, just, you th, just, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you thin, you thin, you're just, you thin, you're just thin' thin' thi, you're thi, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you th. And, you, you th. And, you th. And, you, you th. And, you th, you th. And, you're th, you're th. And, you're th. And, you're th. And, you're th. And, th. And, th. And, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi. thin, thi. thiie? Or what are these big gladiator style pointing foam hands that you say have all gladiators? That's genius. I'm just using this because I love the
Starting point is 00:27:30 brother. No gun in there is that? No. It's just a big finger. Check if you want. We won't then if you said check. Right. That's that's unhappy. If I ever told you my method, Carl, my genius method of assassinating someone. This is brilliant. This is the ultimate crime. Is this the ice cube one? Have I told it to you before? No, but I know that. What's the ice cube one? What?
Starting point is 00:27:52 Is that what? Is that what? Is it? Sotomay, theyrower. their story. . them. Well listen let me tell you it and see if this is the one right this is genius right you rent a room across the street from the person you want to kill right and then when their windows open one day right what you do is what you've done is you've made an arrow from ice okay and then what you do is
Starting point is 00:28:16 you you train like to become a brilliant marksman with a bow and arrow it's an it is probably this is why it's classic this is this this this this this this this is classic this is this is this is classic this is this is classic this is this is classic this is this is th this is this is th this is this is th th. this is this is this is this is this is th. this is this is this is this is this is th. this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is the th is th is th is th is th is th is th th th th th th th is th th th th is th is th is thi thi. thi. thi. thi is thi is thi. thi. thi is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. one. It is probably this is why it's classic and then you shoot them with the arrow then it goes across the street into their heart kills them instantly but what's brilliant is the arrow the murder weapon it then melts, dries out there's no murder weapon there's no there's no there's no there's no there's no the the the the theyre the the they. And the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the you've got to get into the building. This is a point you're across the street. You know, the only thing that could get you is if someone saw you shooting an arrow out of a string. What about an arrow on a string? What are you talking about? No, not what if the string broke is you were trying to loop. Good point. No, I the ice arrow is the only The ice arrow is the only only only i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. What is th. What is th. What is th. What is th. What is th. What is th. What is th. What is th. Is. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr thr. the.. The ISO is the only perfect method of assassination. That was on Colombo. Was it? But there's another one, you know like I was saying about the... The murder weapons are relevant, Steve? What? The fact that it's a murder weapon, that is irrelevant. No, because there's no fingerprints on it and stuff. There's no fingerprints on a bullet. There's no fingerprints on a bullet. their threat. There's no fingerprints on a bullet. There. T. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. It. It. It. It. It. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. It's no. It's no. It's no. It's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's no. There's. There's. There's the can trace it to the right to same gun can't they they can figure that out? Throw the gun away! No but they'll find the gun they always find the gun.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Burn it! No you can't bring it go. Rick my point is... Melt it? No the point is his fingerprints and stuff. Well no the point is it. Rick you never tried to or someone. they'll catch up with you. They'll always catch up with. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. Will. Will. Will. Will. Will. Will. Will. the the their. their. their. their. their. th. th. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. the. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. the. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. the. the. the. the is the only way. I bet that was the one case that Colombo didn't solve. That was one of them. The other one is, do you know I was saying the other week about the drinks and you chink your glasses and stuff? Yeah. I'll way around that, put the poison in the ice cube, put the poison in the ice cube, you quickly have a swi before it's melted. Before it. That's all right. That's all right. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that's all. I that's all. I that's all. I that's all. I that's all. I can that's all. That's all. That's all. I can that's all. I can that's that's that's that's that's the the the the th. I th. That's the other. That's the other. That's the other. I the other. That's the other. That's the other. That's the other. That's the other. That's the other. That's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the other. the the other. th. th. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea' thea' thea' thi. thea. thea. thea cube melt, the poison goes in the drink, say oh knock that back, you look thirsty, they'll have it, they'll die. Genius. That is good. Carl, you and I, man, we're like criminal masterminds. Yeah. What happens when they find the poison in the body and go, well he was at Carl's house drinking, might have been... You'd have legged it. He'd have been off with his misses and like, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, we thi, tho, tho, th. Carl, th. We're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, we, we're like, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we're like, we, we're like, we're like, we're like, we're like, th. We're like, th. th. thi, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thr-a. Carl, tho, tho, tho. Carl, that's that's that's perfect as well. That's the perfect crime to do with ice? Pretty much? Hmm. Roots maneuver, witness. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:30:35 We were talking earlier about people who use Americanism's like they've used all their life. Roots maneuver, witness. We were talking earlier about people who use Americanisms like they've used all their life and it's our pet hate isn't it really? Like just people who say I was a DJ I don't know I look you know risk could sound a little bit you know butt lickie but what's that never heard that but but don't say but yeah I bought people's've heard someone say he was on my ass. Oh. He was on my ass. Yeah. I've never, what? I'll tell you what, almost annoys me almost as much as that. There was a guy used to know who'd pretend and this guy was like he'd never done anything wrong in his life. He had no street credo whatsoever. And a police car just pulled out and was just following us along the road because police cars sometimes do. Not following us just happened
Starting point is 00:31:27 to be driving in the direction. And he went, I got up the pigs, watch it. Watch it, the pigs. Watch it, like what, like what, I was supposed to think, what, what, you've done some crime? Yeah. You're part of grand theft. to be careful. to be careful. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm, I. I. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I'm just, I'm, I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the bloody pigs. Or a dead, a made man that he's just killed in the boot. Nonsense! And I just was so annoyed with that, kind of pretending to have street credit. I know, just, I remember once, right, an American came to our school and we're all about 13 and 14 and he was just, he was like, he was he's always you know it's just great and I remember someone saying like tube a toothpaste and he laughs said tube tube tube I go well what is it's tube and they go it's tube right and I went I said I say tube I said I say tube I said I said to tube I said to you to tube I to thoo the the he he he he he he he he he he he the th I th I th I to th I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the tb I tb I tube I tube I tube I tube I tube I tube I tube I tube I tube I tube I tube I tube I tube I too. I too. I too. I to to to to to to to to of looked to me and they just thought you liar. I said no I say I'm his thing I'd to no I say tube. When you're a kid like any American you ever meet is the coolest thing. It doesn't matter if it's a huge fat bloke wearing Bermuda shorts and a camera on his neck is cool.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Because they speak with an American accent. Well that's and they say. Being a huge fat bloke with a brib shorts is cool. Yeah. That's what you keep telling yourself. I'm growing into that look, says Rick. Forty-one. The Canadian tourist looks. Absolutely. But no, so anything, you know, sidewalk. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:55 I mean if I could say, like when I was sort of Yiddish blokes there's all you know sort of like old vaudeville Jewish guys that you know they sit in diners and talk like that talks like that I want to grow into that a long coat and I wish. Yeah Yeah well convert to Judaism initially. Yeah, be your first port-go and then just tore the vaudevillian, you know, circuit. Yeah, in the cat skills. What am I some kind of schmuck? Yeah, something like that. What do you, Carl are you, would you like to be American? No, not at that? Really? Got me nerves! When I was in, theirn A whole nation there reduced. When I was in Barbada at Christmas.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Oh, then drop it. There's loads of them there. Was that when you were doing a bit of extra sort of waiting? Is that like your girlfriend was cleaning rooms, went there? Went there for Christmas and um... It's loads of them there because that's like really close to America, that's like... Blackpool leads to Manchester, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, to Christmas, to Christmas, to to Christmas, to Christmas, to Christmas, to Christmas, that, that, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, their, right, right, right, right, right, their, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, there, there, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, there... there. there. there. there, there. And, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, there, there, there, there, there because that's like really close to America that's like Blackpool East the Manchester type of thing. It's exactly like that. Yeah. That's the analogy a lot of Americans use. So I think they call it the tropical
Starting point is 00:34:13 blackpool. But they were going on. That's really all the brochures I'm sure. Yeah. And serious now. But we're going on about the September 11 thing. Yeah they call. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's that. It's that. It's the the. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's that. It's that. It's the. It about the September 11 thing, they call it the, of course, this is American, course, the 9-11. The 9-11? That's what they call it. Oh, that's awful. It's terrible. It's like people who say 24-7. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:39 I'm breaking my eyes off 24-7. Well, Americans let's say that. Well, Americans are. I'm talking about an English the English the English the English the English the English the English the English thing about an English English English English English English English English English English English English an English English English an English English English English English an English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English English, I an English English English English, I an English, I'm an English, I'm an English, I'm their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I thethat. Well they're allowed though. Oh Americans are. Yeah. I'm talking about an English person who might say it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's terrible. Do that American accent again? Yeah, of course. The 9-11. Where are you from? What? What? What? What? Can we play? How? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? the the th. the American? Are? Are, we? Are, we? Are, we? Are, we? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is. What? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, that? Is, that? Is, what? Is, that? Is, that? Is, that? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is, what? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is. What? Is. What? Is? Is. What? Is. What? Is. What? Is. What? Is, that? I. What? That, that? That, that? That, that? That, that? That, that? That, that? That, that? That, that? That, that? That, that? Is Barbada. Sure, sure. Can you do any other impression? But Carl doesn't, I'm very much doubt that Carl likes newfangled countries like America. He doesn't like London. No, true.
Starting point is 00:35:14 So he's not going to like... Did you enjoy it? Went to Florida? No, they got me, again. Went for some food. Yeah. And it was the last few days tha they's they me and we were in Florida and we were hungry and we went for some steak and we went for some steak and we had our dinner and that and I think it's their equivalent
Starting point is 00:35:34 to the Angus Steakhouse. And sat down, I had their steak and that's huge. But anyway we didn't have much money left and we had like another two days left. So we didn't leave, we didn't have much money for a tip. Do you know over there they expect it? Yeah, a big tip, yeah. So we left what we could, and I don't know what it was. It might have only been the equivalent to 60p. Yeah. But he didn't have to do that much money. So he brought it, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. the, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. to. to. the. the. thea. too. thea. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. 60P, on the way out and it comes running over.
Starting point is 00:36:05 Excuse me, sir, you can have this back because it wasn't enough. I mean, it's outrageous. What did you say? I said, all right then. Well, I needed it. I thought it was nice to leave them something, but obviously it wasn't enough so got us a couple of more close. I mean, do you on holiday? I mean
Starting point is 00:36:26 do you enjoy yourself? Do people go with you on holiday? I get bored after about four days. You surprise me? What do you expect to have a holiday car? What do you, what do you, what do you soak up some of the culture? You liar. You liar. What did you learn about by Bados while you were there? There's a lot of crabs on the beach? You liar! What did you learn about by Bados while you were there? There's a lot of crabs on the beach. I just imagined him sitting there with this knotted hanky on his head. I like that. A little sparkle as they're walking down the street can't see their faces but I'm not... I like that.
Starting point is 00:37:07 I put a Gary Newman in there. Richard X and Sugar Babes are Freaks Electric. Is that one of those things where they've taken one song and they've laid it over the top of the other? Brilliant. It's good, no, it's good. Good. Yeah, well we're nearly done, aren't wea. We are almost finished.
Starting point is 00:37:25 I know that's just a sort of great tracks. We've had a few laughs, haven't we? I've perked up. Yeah, you have, you have. You've lost it here a bit though, you feel a bit, it sounds like you're a bit down again. Well, that's just two hours' work in one long stretch. I reckon we could do a three hour, no, no, no, no. Skin of the teeth sort of just... We barely got away we did. Really? This is beginning to fall apart now.
Starting point is 00:37:46 It is, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, it's really fun though. We've had a few laughs, so did you say? I just think a car on the beach. He said he started winding the crabs up because he got bored. you were in California you were an aggravating butterflies were you? Because oh that's a misdemeanor. Scary though the weather's really freaky. Where?
Starting point is 00:38:08 In California. Is it? Yeah. In the day it's dead nice. Come 6 o'clock it goes black and then the rain. And then the rain comes down. It's freaky. Is that every single day, or?
Starting point is 00:38:23 that's all year around. So what you're saying is if people are booking a holiday, it should be conscious of the recent. That's fact. I think it does. But why did you start throwing sand at crabs by the way? Just because you get bored on the beach, you sat there, you look around. And then I saw these crabs and I was watching the way they move around and yeah funny in it so to annoy you the way they moved no I mean it works for
Starting point is 00:38:51 them good of you but it was just what I was weighing up is they quite close to the sea so watching the sea they like it close to you don't like it too close no so like the sea was coming close to him they'd run towards me yeah so as the sea come up. They like it close to you, don't they? Yeah. But they don't like it too close. No. So like the sea was coming close to him, they'd run towards me. Yeah. So as the sea came into them, I was chucking sand the other way and it was like, ooh. They didn't know what to do you know if I've described this before, do you remember a classic Paul Daniels episode where Paul is having tea with some baboons I think, chins, full circle? And he's got a little box and inside the box is a mirror and he gives it to the chimp and
Starting point is 00:39:33 it looks in the box and it's confused by its own reflection, it can't figure it out. So it's looking behind the box, is for weeks just staring into it. I imagine you're a bit like that. I think that's my analogy. I think that's my analogy. Paul Daniels Chimps. I kept a crab once for a week when we went to Pogner, it was me and my nan in an whole. Oh party time. Oh man a life.
Starting point is 00:40:01 You haven't lived until you've woken up to the sound at 3 o'clock in the morning of your nan, having a wee in a tin bucket and echoing round a caravan. Man alive! Yeah, I was about nine. You brought a chick back. I was about nine, right? And I just kept a crowd in a first day I found out a today the I don't know where it came from I found it on the beach and I bought it back and I kept it in a little bowl in the sink
Starting point is 00:40:29 and then the last day it started the smell of it and then the last day and mom said go and put it back and I went and put it back so I had a pet crap for a week and did it just got bored sure it just got bored sure it didn't do a lot. Did it start throwing sand at you? Oh, listen, I think we better play some watch because we've got a few songs to squeeze in. I just wanted to play a track. I was watching MTV the other day and I was a bit confused. Yes, it was I, I like that.
Starting point is 00:40:59 Because I saw a video for the electric soft parades silent to the dark. But it was the the th, it was was was was th, it was th, I was th, I was th, I was th, I was th, I was a th, I was a th, I was a th, I was a th, I was a th, I was a th, I was a tho, I was a tho, I was tho, I was a tho, I was tho, I was tho, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I tho, I'm, I tho, I'm, I'm tho, I'm tho, soo, soo, tho..ed, tha.ed, tha.a.a. tha. tha. tha. tha. So, th th th th th th th th the dark but it was called silent to the dark too but it was the same song it sounds like they've redone it the video is different to the old video I was very confused hopefully someone will phone in and solve it for me anyway this is the original silent to the dark still a good track let's hear it car Silent to the Dark the debut single by the Electric Soft Parade. I like that. Very good. Very good choice then. Apparently discovered by XFM. Is that right it? Yeah, Sunnter's open to Claire Sturgis. You see? Big time now. What does he do with it? And sold it? Yeah. Got a little five-found starter bag of scag. Exactly. And the rest is history. Well, I've enjoyed myself. I have. But can I just say we don't just like, you know, muck around and do stupid things and play great music. We're also informative. And I'm going to
Starting point is 00:41:55 leave London with this tip that Carl, for no reason just told me. Do you want to do it? or shall I tell them what he said. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do it. Do it. Do. Do. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to tho. tho. to to to to to to to th. to to say, to say, to just. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do. Do it. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do, the the th. I. I. Do. I. Do, th. I. I. Do, th. I. Do, th. I. Do. Do, th. Do. I. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do do it Carl or so I tell them what you just said? Rick we haven't got much time you better explain it. Okay. If you got, he said you've been on the Millennium Wheel, I went, no, he went, well if you do is a tip, go when there's lots of disabled people on there. And I was up for it, I went, you get more for your money, maybe you're going to get there today or tomorrow? Yeah, thanks. Song for the ladies, Rick. I'll leave you with Lamb Chop. A lot of people aren't a fan of Landchop for some reason. They don't like the way he sings, but this is a beautiful song. Up with people. See ya. Bye.

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