The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S1E8 (January 12, 2002)

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

The show ran between September 2001 and May 2002 before Gervais and Merchant went on hiatus to film the second series of ‘’The Office’’. Initially, Pilkington’s on-air presence was relatively minimal compared to what it would become. Gervais and Merchant only occasionally called for Karl to weigh in with his thoughts, while the two mostly talked to each other, with the “links” between songs comprising only about 30 minutes of the show’s 2-hour run time.As Pilkington’s personality moved to the forefront, the talk portion of the show expanded to roughly an hour per 2-hour broadcast. While the show relied largely upon a stream-of-consciousness format, Pilkington made attempts to keep things more conventional by insisting on running contests and airing pre-recorded segments and regular “features”.

POD or pod as I call them. I don't. No. XFN 104. 9. It's the Ricky Givain show. With Steve Merchant. Yeah, so Derm at O'Didly, yes. Weeks and weeks, weeks and weeks in a row he doesn't even turn up and now suddenly is all over breakfast. I noticed yeah, you're standing in for the breakfast show. Why wouldn't we? Well we weren't.. Were we? Yeah. I didn't know about this. Yeah, but I don't want to get up that early, sure. I feel a bit hung over to that actually. Do you? Yeah. What's happening? What, what, you part in last night were you? Well, not part in? We just went out for a couple of drinks and add a meal and then went this band like Magic Alex and it was really good they're sort of like sort of like a friendly oasis they got you know it's quite you know it's quite man so was really good good songs and everything he's a singer

yeah no he's a guitarist nice but it was full of actors because it and I felt quite tall. That's that's the that's the that's th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu. It was the the the the the the the the' the the they're the' they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the the the the the the thou the the the thou the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea. thou theee they're they're they're they're they're because you're very short man. Well I am. I'm sort of, I was average but now I'm not I don't think, five or eight that's right. But there I was like quite, it was like Linniput. So I just got to hang out at actors doing so. Yeah. This is the reason, because actors are often very quite handsome people, but yet they're always quite obnoxious. We are. Yeah we are. No I mean, I I I they're normally, I they they're normally, I they they they they they they they they they they're normally, I they're normally, I they're normally, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm they're normally, I'm they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, I, I, I, I, I they're, I they're, I they're not. I'm, I'm, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm they're normally they're normally they're normally they're normally they're normally they're normally they're mean they're normally quite obnoxious for it. Again, you know, you're a good example of that. And yet, I think it must be the small man complex. That's what makes them so obnoxious and so kind of desperate for attention. I didn't realize it before. Because it was like tower above everyone. You do, don't you? I'm, for people who are listening a sort of handsome athlete, is it, Carl? He's a bit of a, what would you call him? Carl, don't answer it. No, no, no, no, no, no. You know the game he's playing? No, no, no. Do you know yesterday when you were in the office? Yeah. You did a little bit more, thrown. Yeah, he thi. thou- th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tho. th. th. th. th. What, what tha. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what th. What, what th. What, what th. What, what th. What. What. What. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What. to. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. to. What. What. to. to. to. to. the. th. th. the. th. the. th. th. tha. to. tha. tha. to. the. tha. to. tha. tha. What. you, Pilkington. That's what stands. Yeah, but even he was, he held it a little bit better didn't he? Because he was a man, you know, he had a big coat and everything, the peak cap.

But, uh, yeah. I can't believe you, like I've not suffered enough from being freakishly tall. Now, two of my best buddies live on radio. It's not just not just the height the height the height the height the height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height height the height height height the height, it's the height, it's the height, it's the face and everything. But it's got your places on it? No? How do you mean it's got many places? I think I think people give you a bit more of a chance in your career and stuff because it's like... Well yeah stacking shelves because I can reach to a high letter. Muse, Plug-in Baby on XFM 104. Rick, do you guys, go on. I know you guys are laughing about the height thing and for those that have only just tuned

in I am 6'7 inches tall which is tall and that's big and I, you know, I pride myself on it in a way, you know, I've worked hard, I've not smoked, I ate well, you know, it's an accomplishment but obviously I didn't have much involvement in it, I just have, and it's a curse because mainly the problem is that you can't get stuff, you can't get clothes, you can't get shoes, you know. Yeah, so I'm so, it's genuine, and I mean it costs, I don't know, I mean it costs, I mean, it costs, I the problem, I the problem, I the problem, I the problem, I the problem, I the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the, the, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, the problem, you'd afford to be tall because the clothing costs more everything costs I've seen this in comics that you'd actually go to school in a barrel wearing a barrel with his braces it just be a barrel art and you know sort of flip flop and you don't take a mule yeah yeah they would have a mule didn't they the poor people people like they like you'll be in a pub or something and people I mean people people they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they think they can talk to you about it they just think we're like you were like they it's just like that really annoys you

isn't it it annoys me because it's like they think I should be proud of it well exactly but they don't think that this this is not a disadvantage this is not a disability is it you're you're you're tall than you you're it might get a disability if you're if if you if if if if if if you were if you were if you were if you were if you were if you were if you were eight if? Yeah, no you're a medical man aren't you? But no the point is it's a disabilitating because you go on public transport like if you want to coach. Yeah. The only place I can sit on a coach is that seat on the driver's lap.

On the driver's lap. Either on the driver's lap or that seat or that seat at the very. Yeah. That's the only place I can stand up. Stand up. Waving at drivers. You could drive it from the back. You could drive it from the back. Here it comes, watch it. Were you a tall baby? Or... Just like it's tall? Mr. Mrs Merchant. You've given birth to a basketball player. Look at his dribble. Were you a tall baby. Babies aren't tall? At what point point, at, at, at, at, at, at th, at th, at th, at th, at th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th the th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th that thate, were, th th th th th th th th th th th tho, th th th th. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. the, the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th a tall baby? Babies aren't tall? All right. At what point did you suddenly like, Jesus, nothing fits me? Pff. Puhh. Well, it didn't happen overnight, I didn't.

Let's do a little graph. How tall are you at five? Oh, I don't know. Three foot. Three foot. How tall were you at 12? Six foot? thirty. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. to. tha. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tall. tall. tall. tall. I don't remember this. Well when did the teachers start calling you freak boy and the lanky? Didn't they? Didn't they? Didn't it was. It wasn't a funny school? I went bowling with him once right. I went bowling with him once. I've been once before and he's been once before and like that's because it's both. I went their s thi. And you have their have their their th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thi. thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. thi. They're their their their their their their the. They're their their the. They're th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ti. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. they they're didn't didn't they're didn't didn't they're multi-coloured sort of red and green they look pretty weird and and the woman said to me oh what size I said I'm like eight yeah so you went 14 she went 14 he went 14 he went you probably haven't got him he goes she goes yeah I think we have got one pair and she put them on the table and it

was like crusty the clown and I just started laughing they look like a little wall bracket they were the the worst things they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the th I I I I I I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th they they they they they they they th they the th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th thin the the the the the the are the the the the are the the the are the the the are the the the the the the are the the the ths shit. But they don't look freaky clown like when I'm wearing them because the rest of me is in proportion to it. It looks like a little wall bracket. There were the worst things that happens when I was like, I don't know when I was about 16 or something we went to um... It's a fire alarm going off. There's a fire alarm going off. And the fire lights should be not, should be not, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the worst, the worst, the worst, the, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the, the, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, th. the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the worst, the out. Wrap it up if you want. No, no, not wrap it up. Play a record, I'm going to go.

See later. No, the fact, he's gone off. Oh, we might have burnt down. I think we'd know about it, the flames licking around our ankles would be a clue. I'm going to go and investigate. You shouldn't ignore a fire. Oh look at him, he's scared of fire! What do you mean? What do you mean? Ah! Ah!

Ah! I'm always strong. Mercury the dark is rising. That's a good song, in it. I noticed that you're, um, investigating the fire, mainly involved, wandering out into the office, around a bit then coming back yeah

what did you find out? There was no fire? There was no fire no fire no right but I look at it there's no fireman they go get back and you go get back and you go to the fireman oh get back back oh get back oh look it I would I would I would actually justified Okay, there's heavy shedding lads, retreat. Oh, BAC, Sarge! I'm sorry? BAKSarge! There was a fire, I've never seen it before, a fire thing going off, there's a fire. I thought, oh, let's at least have a look if there's a fire. Let's at least have a look, there's a fire.

So here's somewhere official coming now because there's a fire. This isn't the Titanic? I don't have to carry on playing. I don't know, it feels like a bit of a sinking shit really. Right. Nice one. Nice one. I don't know who I was taking off then, probably me. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Let me just tell you briefly. This is another example of how people can just exploit you and make fun of you when you're tall. I was a the th. I. I. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I feel like, I feel like, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I, I, I th. I, I, I the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm the the th. I'm the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the th. I'm th. theea. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thin, I'm th. I'm thin, I feel the. I feel like, I feel like, I'm two, I've always been like about 6 and 7 for quite a while now. And when I was about 16, I went to a big New Year's celebration in Bristol where I come from and everyone kind of congregates in this big sort of part of town and every sort of people dancing around like in Trafalgar Square and I was out of some I was there and I was like, somehow I just picked up a balloon somewhere on the line, one those kind of balloons and they kind kind of the helium the helium, and the helium, and th so the helium, and the helium, and I th so their their their their their their their their they were kind they were kind they were kind they were kind they were kind they were kind they were kind they were kind they were their their their they were kind their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they were everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone they were they were they were they were they were kind they were kind they were kind they were kind they were kind they were kind they were kind they were kind their their their their their their th. their the. I was kind kind kind the an thean thean thean thooo their thean their their their their their their they were kind kind. I was thinking yeah, okay, you know, it's New Year's Eve, brilliant, you know, that's my kind of party. Yeah, they came up, they went, hey, once a year. And they said, you're gonna be here for long? And I went, well, they said, you're gonna be here for long. And I said, it's just that. Well, that's just because we can see you where you are. Don't they, they, they, they, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they said, they said, they said, they said, they said, they said, they said, they said, they said, they said, they're they said, they're they said, they said, they said, they said, they. And they. And they said, they said, they said, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. And, they. And, th. they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're they're they're they're they're they're they said, you're they said, you're they said, they're they're they balloon. Just around to meet some friends with it. I love that. A landmark.

So that, so let's just come in. There's a, we'll be, uh, when we see Steve merchant, we'll be descending to Bristol Temple Mead. What's really funny is New Year's Eve, Trafalgar Square, you got a huge column. Yeah. Steve's got a huge column. Award winning comedy from Ricky Gilliamese Oh come on well, ah, they take you back, does it? How old are you? 29. 29, so you were, oh you were just going out of your teens. I'm a Virgo. No, no, no, that, no, you don't understand. It's just, I'm a Virgo. I thought we discussed about involving car. Yeah, sorry, yeah.

Yeah, management have told us we're just not allowed to do it. We've had emails from people. Please don't speak to Carl. It's cruel. Exactly. On the cusp. Can I just make an appeal? I don't want to say. On the cusp of the reverg.

He said. Still going through with it. We've got a competition Steve. We have. But before we mention that, can I just ask something for, I don't want to exploit our position on the radio. But I wonder, because I'm very tall, and it's very tricky for me to get size 14 shoes and big clothes and stuff, can I just get people to send some stuff if like maybe they own a shop. Yeah, but it'd be things like homemade. It's not really great. When I was in America, everyone says to me, you go to a man. It is a kakul I'm out of my own skin. When I was in America, everyone told me that it would be really, you know, really easy to get big clothes and big shoes and that because they're all huge and all freaks over there.

All right, all right, steady on. I was wandering around New York and I was going in and saying, you've got size, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. I that, I that, I was out out out out out out out out, I was out out out out out out out of that, I was out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out, I was that, I was that, I was that that, I was that th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I'm th. I was th. th. th. that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that watched a different one. And they literally were laughing at me. There was a couple of shops where they literally laugh and get like someone else in and come and look at the tall, freaky Englishman. Really? And then one guy said, I remember we had someone come in here once and he said, I remember, I've said, I remember to show, which I've been told me, I said, I remember, I think I remember, it took me ages to get there, really hard to find it, I finally went in there, I've never seen, it was heaving, right, weird freaks. It was amazing, it was like, they were just kind of gargoyles, it was like something from Lord of the Rings. They were just like, they were kind of gargoy, it was like, and it was like, I'm looking at it, I'm just pair of shoes I wanted. I couldn't believe my luck. It might be a magic shop. But it was like it was like that shop in Mr. Ben. It might have been a dream though you see. Have you actually got the shoes?

No. Because when Mr. Ben sort of like goes back and wakes up next day he finds like a feather in his pocket where he remembers he was a you know a 17th century squire. Yeah. Oh, their it it it he it he it he it he it he it he- it he- it he- it he- it he- it he- it he- it he- it he- it he- it he- it he- it he- it might th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th- it might th- it might th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. It might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might th. It might th. It might th. It might th. It might th th th th th th- th- thi the- the- the- the- the- the- might the- thi- thi- thi- thi- of Mr. Penn when he becomes the 17th century squire. Oh, dear. Mr. Ben learns to play the harpsichor. But like, when Mr. Ben, that black shopkeeper goes, right, are you going to play for that? You're not just going to go through that door and they have an adventure and come back. Yeah, I am. No, you're not. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. Mr. Mr. Mr. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Mr. Ben. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the........ Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. Ben. to. to. th. from you. Well, I'm not in this for your amusement, Mr. Ben. Is it only Ben who's got the insider knowledge about the magical doorway? I don't know, because that fellow in the fairs doesn't seem to have anyone else there? No, rarely. He's always grinning though.

He knows something. Yeah, I'm not sure. It's not a it's just a kid show so anything can happen. That's a lot of people make that mistake when they slag off something like Scooby-Doo or Thundercats. It's not really reality. It's just a kid. Mr. Ben, they were all on drugs, they were like Magic Rainer. My mate fanc-terra. I think she was Chetera. I quite like she-I'm quite like she waltz. Yeah, she was a real dish. What's the, what's the sexiest cartoon? I'm glad you've asked. A lot of people say Jessica Rabbit.

They do and they'd be right to say that because she's actually human. She's not an animal, which is good. What? Isn't she, no, she's a normal woman. that's married to a rabbit? No, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a normal woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is the weird thing about it. That's weird though, isn't it? It is weird. The idea of a rabbit having sex with a beautiful woman. That is the weirdest thing about it. How does that make you feel?

Annoyed,this year. Anyway, Nerd are the outfit, the better known as the Neptune's, who are kind of sort of hip-hop R&B producers. Yeah, yeah. I think this track may have featured on a giveaway CD for the enemy. Anyway, it's Dynamite. It's from the album, in search off by of and that's Bobby James. It's brilliant. It's really bit. It reminds me a little bit of Warren G that course. Sure, yeah, yeah. And apparently the album, I don't, it was one kind of limited release. It's brilliant. It's brilliant. It's great. It's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it's really, it. It's really, it's really, it. It's really, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's a. It's a. It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's a... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... it. It's... it. It's... it. It's... it. It's... it. It's... it. It's... it. It's... it. It's... it. It's... it. It's... it. It's... it. It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a the... It's a the... It's a the... It's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the... It reminds... It's... It's limited release, so it's quite tricky to get hold off, but as I say, I think they're re-releasing me. Well, you should tape off the radio because we're doing lots of features. Yeah, no, I'll maybe play that again in the future, just tap it off. I'll tell you, just tap it in the future. I'll tell you'll just tell you tell you the you just the you'll just the you. I'll just the you. I'll just the. I'll just the. I'll just the. I'll just the. I'll just the. I'll just the. I'll just tape it. I'll just tape it'll just tape it. I'll just tape it'll just tap. tape it'll just just just just just tape it. tape it. tape it. I'll just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll maybe. Yeah, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll maybe. Yeah, I'll, I'll maybe, I'll maybe, I'll. Yeah, I'll. Yeah, I'll just do some bootlegs of the, you know, I can just sell them Camden Market for four quid.

Yeah, something like that. Yeah, I mean, you know, we won't, you know, we shouldn't really say that. Warren G is Dr. Dr. Dre's cousin, is he or something? Is he, is, is that right? Is that right? I think it's a famous brother, I know, I think, I think, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th...... th. I, th. I, something, something, something, th. I, something, th. I, something, something, th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. Yeah, something, something, something, something, something, something, something, something, something, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th........... Yeah, th...... Yeah, th.. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, I, th. Yeah, I, I, I, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, email or phone in. This is the best thing about being on the radio. I can think of something. There was a competition right on Virgin, right? I was listening, Virgin, I think 105. No, what is it? I can't remember. Good station. Good station. Good station. And they had a competition, right? And it was to win a trip to America on the Enterprise. It was all about space. There was one one, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, I, I, I, the, trip to America on the enterprise. It was all about space. And there was one question

that answered three right, and it was who was the first one in the space, Yuri Gagarin, who was doing a, and the third question was, how much bigger than the moon is the sun? Is it twice as big or four times as big? And this woman went four times, it's hundreds of times bigger. It's 100. the the the the the thiiiiii, it's 100, it's 100, it's 100, it's 100, it's 100, it's 100, it's 100, it's 100, it's 100, it's a hundred, it's a hundred, it's a hundred, it's a thi, it's a thi, it's a thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. It's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr, is is thr, is the first, is the first first first, is thrown, is the first first is throooooooooooooooooooooooooom. And thrueue. It's is thrimes bigger. I can't believe. Could someone look that up on the internet and how many times bigger is the sun and the moon? It's not four times. It's huge. It's like beach ball to a pea type dimension. Which DJ was it? Do you remember on Virgin? I can't remember, but it was the one on sort of about 11 o' wrong. That's true enough. During that track, I'm chilling out, I'm loving it, aren't I? Carl goes, do you know how baguettes came about? Do you know how baguettes come about?

I went, go on, and Steve went, no, save it. Wait a minute though, I'm thinking, Rick. People are going to be good. Stay tuned to XFM to find out. Hives. Hate the sale, told yourself. I love that sort of stuff. That and the strokes. It's so much better than all this new metal rubbish, isn't it? Definitely. Now, most people think we talk rubbish on it? Yep. If they could hear the conversations If they could hear the conversations that go on, I know, I, I, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay thi, stay thi, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. So, th. So, th, their, their, th, their, th, their, thi, their, thi, their, thi, te, te, too, togu. If, tut, tun, togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. the, rubbish on it. If they could hear the conversations that go on, I know. But someone just emailed in saying the sun is indeed about 400 times bigger than the moon, thanks for that. That DJ must have looked at up and said, 400 times, that can't be right, it's probably, it's probably, it's probably printing hour, four times. Nothing can be 400 times bigger than the moon. Carl went, yeah, but the sun, it's only got a million years, I went, why, he went, on that

space program, it said that in a million years the sun will be destroyed and he said, and then we're all shafted. Right, I went, I laughed, Steve went, no, it's okay, by then we'd be on another planet. No, I think that's true. We'll have colonised our planets. Carl went, yeah, but there'd be no sun. Steve went, well there's other sons, which is true. Carl went, well yeah, every star is a son. Carl went, well, not really. Not really.

Don't believe that, do you? And I went, no, it is. The sun is just a star. star it's not even tricly big star, Carl went, well why didn't they say that instead of worrying me? Instead of worrying me. In a million years to him. I love it that Carl, he's been preserved, brought back to life and is now the ruler of the world. Just a head in a fish tank.

And he speaks like this, I am Pilkington. The reason you became king of the universe of course is because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because you the the the the the universe of course is because of your fascinating French bread anecdotes. Oh yeah yeah come on then what how did baguette come about if this is going to be someone cooked a loaf a bit wrong and said I can still make a sandwich out of it I'm going to hit you. No no no no go on then. Right Napoleon when he was at war and that with Russia 1812 yeah yeah all these soldiers were like you know not used to the cold weather and that so they said tech take some clothes in your bag with you because it's gonna be a nippy nippy out there so um they put all the clothes in the bag sure

they thought oh it's a napalian for a true no room for any food you're joking so could they make some sort of a sandwich no the the the th th th th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they took took took took took took took they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were told is Napoleon for Christ's sake. I'm joking. Can they make some sort of like sandwich? No it wouldn't fit because of all the clothes to have to take extra gear. So anyway, is there a bagel shaped gap left in their holdal? They thought let's make some bread that you can fit down your trials a leg. What? That's not true! No it's no car. I read it in Houston Train Station. I was waiting to go back to Manchester.

What scrawed on the wall in graffiti? Yeah, was it also Meet Me Here for Cockton at 12 o'clock? The Upper Cross Sandwich shop, Houston Station, it's on the wall. What do you mean it's on the wall? Do you know it says like, say on the saillip, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thus, thus, thus, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th that there was like a bit of information once you've read this stuff on Dixos. There was a big thing about the history of the bagette. I read it and I thought, oh no we got to make a sandwich we can spit down our trouser leg. But how can you march and fight with a huge piece of bread down here at trail. Although it would be intimidated and you see him come and you go suck for a bler. Look and look and you their and you their and you their. I I I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their their their their. I'm their. I'm their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I I their. I I their. I their. I their. I their their their their. I their. I their their. I their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. We're th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've their their their their their their the size of them. They're big fellas. Well, I carry out before that could be a practical joke at your expense. Yeah.

Well, the Earl of Sandwich... Do you ever question any that you read? If it's printed up, is that like fact for you then? Well, it's not funny. I mean, if they were true to the tra trout Sandwich wanted something he could fit down his pants. And it was those triangle cut sandwiches wrapped in cling film with perfect. You might be right. You might be right. Because the Cornish pasties so they could drop it down the mine, isn't it? Yeah, they wrapped it up like meat and vegetables in pastry and they sort of crimped it and they dropped it down the mind. Yeah, that's all that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. thrimea. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. th. th. You. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. It's the. It's the. It's tri. It's tri. It's tri. It's tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tria. tria. tria. tria. tria. It it and they dropped it down the mind so yeah that's what that came about. And bagels were originally made so that people could play

hoopla but then eat afterwards. I don't know if you're aware of that. That is true well anyway. Yeah they're all true. Tell your kids that when you have them. Yeah. You know if they're still alive in a million years. Well go ahead it might be true. T so. T so. T so. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the they they they they they're the they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're that's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they they th. the. the. the. the. the. theat theeat theeeeeeeee. theeat theeeee. they're all they're all they're all they're they're Yeah. You know, if they're still alive in a million years. Well, it might be true. Can someone confirm that baget fact that it was so Napoleon could stick it down his trails? Not him, his soldiers. Yeah. Fascinating information?

Fascinating bread information. Radiohead. Yeah, now this is my song for The Lovers. It's a beautiful track. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. their. their. th. thi. thi. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's the t. It's t. It's t. It's the t. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's the the th. It's. Radiohead. Yeah, now this is my song for the lovers. It's a beautiful track. It's let down off OK Computer. It's one of my favourite radio strokes. It's lovely. Right, set the tape going now if you want to tape those songs. Avalanches, Frontier Psychiatrist. Absolutely. Well we've had lots of emails, people obviously we inflamed and provoked about the Cornish pasty. I've got a couple of amendments to that. The crusty bit, you know, is actually as a handle, because because obviously the mines have dirty hands and they'd eat all the

stuff in the pasty and they'd be left with this sort of crust and they could throw that away also someone told us that at one end was a like apple so you have a little sweet as well so there you know they noticed how like a. their theyl dessert so they're noticed their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I's their. Somea. Somea. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, they. So, they. So, they. So, they. I. they. I. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're. they. they're. they're. I. I. I've. I've. I've know, way back when we started XFM. No one ever contributes when we ask about the music, when we ask about hip-hop or their opinions on that, anything important, but start talking about pasties. Yeah, we've had about five phone calls. Yeah, and someone phoennappes to confirm, they used to work for Upper Crust, and basically, Carl, so it is true. She said, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, you thi, you've thi, you've they're, you're they're, you're, you're their, you're their, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you, you their, you their, you, you, you, you're, you're, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thr, thr, thr, thr, thrown, thrown, thr, thrown, thrown, you know, their, you know, you know,'t know if it's true, I've read the same sign you did Carl. Interestingly there's an email here that says, which basically offers a history of the baguette and talks about after the revolution the government decreed that all of France must eat the same bread and it was up to the bakers to bake this bread bread of bread and then Napoleon kind of made sure it was particularly he that he.. he. he. he. He. He. He. He. He that it was that it was particularly. He that the the that was the the that that was the th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was th. He was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he. And, he was, he. And, he was, he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was the. He was the. He was theee. I was t. I was tape. I was tape. I was tape. He was tape. I was tape. He was ttaxed, toge. He was, was, of set in. Yeah, obviously on the bread you can eat anything you find in the garden. Frogs, snails, bits of horse, squid.

The interesting thing is Rick, that there's no mention of sticking it down your trousers whilst going to war. The French have tried to keep that secret for over a hundred years. Yeah, nearly nearly 200 years, that is a top secret. Somehow Houston Station up a crust got hold of a document left behind in an old sea chest, possibly Napoleon's, could have been Josephine's. Unfortunately jotted it down. He's kicking himself now. Oh, Sakra, I can't believe I left a note. If he talked like that. He did, he did that. Yeah, he talked English but in a very funny French accent. Do you remember there was one thing that, talking about funny French accent, you remember

you remember Al O-L-O? Yeah. Remember it was on about five o'clock in the afternoon, but they still meant, because it was a funny Frenchman, it was that English guy who was posing as a French officer. Yeah, it's very very very. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was, complicated. He would often walk by and I remember there was one where he said, I was pissing by the door when I heard the shit. Oh yeah, I'm allowed to say that. Passing by the door when I heard a shot. That's what he's saying. I'm allowed to say that at two o'clock because I'm just saying, I'm talking in a Do you know what I mean? That's the rule. Do you know why people tink the glasses before the other dress? Why they tink? The verb to tink? I do know that, Carl. Is it about poison?

It is. Here we are. What would it make a different noise? Nope. Brilliant. Go on, explain why. Why don't Steve? You explain it, Steve? No, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Why. Why. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why. Why, th. Why. Why. Why, th. Why. Why, th. Why. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, th. Why, thi. Why, thi. Why, thi. Why, thi. Why, thi. Why, thi. Why, thi. Why, thi. Why, thi. Why, thi. Why, thi. Why explain it, Steve. No, no, no, don't Steve, you explain it, Carl. Go on, I've started so I'll finish. Come on, Carl, explain why they tink the glasses. Ages ago. Only people with money are drinking or something. That's not one of my film reviews. Years ago, only people with money had drinking or something.

Keep going, keep going. I like spirit and stuff, so they'd um, it's like business, business, business, business, business, business, business, what is it, um, this is getting to be cruel, isn't it? This is amazing. Yeah, go on. Why were you hoping was the best that could happen? Because you trying to make me look stupid before with the planet so I'm... Where is you know?

Yeah go on though, come on. Bibbysmen? No businessmen were money. I've got to drink and ching. Okay, so then we'll all to drink. Okay, so then we'll just tryn't to have a chat about whatever they're whatever they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they'd say, right, do you want a drink then? Oh yeah, that'd be all right. So rather than like, just pouring it out of a bottle into a glass and saying, there you go, it could be going, hang on a minute. It could be poisoning me here and try to like, nick the business idea.

Yeah. So what they'd do, it sort of, sort of pour a bit of his drink into the other's glass and you get. And you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and say, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, just said a slight amendment there. I think what it was was you're absolutely right that they would then test each other's drinks to show that it wasn't poisoned. But over the years, that was reduced to just chinking the glasses by way of saying, it's not actually bothered going through the whole rhythm roll. Yeah, they just did they think oh that bloke's definitely not trying to poison me. So the horrible thing is that now when I do the glasses I can laugh and go they don't know I've poisoned them.

Exactly. You should always do the pouring. Ash, there's a star. Yeah, they've come through. I didn't like him at first. I thought I'd you know, a bit too low-fi, but I think they've worked at it, they're good songs, they're good performers, and I think they're probably thoroughly nice chaps. All right? Yeah, they've worked at it. They're probably thor nice nice nice nice nice nice thury thury thury thury thory thory thory thory thory thory thory thory thory thory thory th I think they've worked at it they did good songs they're good performers

and I think they're probably thorough nice chaps all right we didn't say hello because we were away for a couple weeks we didn't come back and go oh we're back did we it's like nothing ever happened exactly do you know I mean um you have a good Christmas yeah and so did our mutual friend Phil Belka. He was in Lanza R and he told me one of the funny, I don't know if I can tell this on the radio, I'll have to say the C word I just go, it's in a sentence so I just go you see when it comes and you'll know that they're saying the terrible word. Just you know didn't want to ruin the anecdote. Anyway, they're walking along one evening in Anzari and there's lots of Brits there apparently. And Phil overhears a sort of married couple arguing, they're having to go home a bit early.

And she's saying to him, she went, for Christ sake, every time we come out drinking, you always shit yourself. Right? Always, not once, so he's going, ah, I've told you he said it's not the drink, it's the weather. She went the weather. You'll be blaming the food next you see. I don't think they should have got married. When did you think the shooting yourself started? Must have been after the marriage, because if they, you know, you're caught in, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, the, you're, the, the, you're their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th once, their, not once, not once, not once, not once, not once, not once, not once, not once, not once, not once, not once, not once, not once, not once, not once, not once, not once, not once, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thou, their, thou, their, their, their, their, theirthey should have got married. When did you think they should have started? Must have been after the marriage because if they, you know, you were caught in and you

go, went out with that? Derek again, did you last night? Yeah, how is it? It was the evening was lovely and meals and he shak him out. Again. That's five dates, five different he's got. But I think I can change here. I think he can change him. Yeah, it must have been after the marriot. Oh, he's got to the edge where I think,

look, I'll just empty it when I get home. I'm not going to keep going up and going to the toilet, you know. It's the ice that does it. Yeah, Carl is right, oh, don't drink the water when you're on holiday and they don't, they buy Evian and stuff. Oh, I see. They forget about the ice. The ice cubes, you're right, in a bar, made from tap water. And that can do it, can it, can it, don't it? But what, what, what, what, what, what, do? I assume that she thinks? thinks? they's, you. th. th. th. they's, you. th. that. they. that. they. that. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. that. they're. tha. tha. they're. they're. they're. their. they. they're, you. they're, you. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. their. their. their. their. their. their. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. their. their. their. their. themselves. Yeah, yeah they usually make it to a toiler. He does it every time he drinks doesn't he? Yeah well apparently. Just don't let him carry

the baguettes? Ah he's good, isn't he? Oh Carl comes out with him. He does now and again. Yeah, nice one. Right we got another feature now. Yes we've got another feature now. Yes this is a feature which we introduced before Christmas and it was so popular and we've carried it over with us. It's an interesting thing. And I don't think I don't think we'll ever run out of features for it. Go on. Go on. What do I think? What do you think? What do you think? It's brilliant. It's rather brilliantly called a song that I like. Yeah. And in it, let me explain. Go on. Go on. What I do is. the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's is is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It What that you like or they like? Oh right so you just pick a well hmm I'm going to explain this all the songs right there are Carl Steve likes some of them he doesn't like others but for this particular feature the only songs that are being this section will be the ones that he likes. If you think you're going to hear songs that I don't like you're going to hear songs? that I thi the the the the the songs th th th th th th th. th. th. th in th in thin thin thin thin. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho tho the thoes tho. I tho. I tho. I tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the there the. Yeah. What song have you chosen to play?

Thank you very much for asking. I have chosen, and it's something I've only been introduced to recently, but I did enjoy it, and it seemed, you know, just felt contemporary. It's a Patti Smith and the classic. Oh, fantastic. Oh, fantastic. Oh, fantastic. Gloria by Patty Smith, did you enjoy that? Yeah I love it.

I've always been one of my favourite tracks. And as Carl pointed out, sounds remarkably like, who did you mention? P.J Harvey? Oh yeah, well yeah, everyone knew that. She was obviously very influenced by her. That's fine, that's all right. I like P.J. Harvey too. Exactly. that's enough room for two. You're absolutely right. Oh, here we are th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to tho. tho. tho. to. tho. tho. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. There's enough room for two. You're absolutely right. Here we are then. Let's just take a moment to think about what we've done. Yeah, well it's been good. It's now a 20 minutes. We've talked about shit in yourself. We've talked about pasties. We've done pasties. A number of pastries actually. We did never got the, we should learn a competition who's the tastiest cartoon ever.

I threw up Gterra, I threw up Jessica Rabbit. I've had some people contribute here on the email. We've got someone here, Dom has emailed us, he's told us that for him, Daphne from Scooby-Doo. Yeah, always popular choice. And obviously this is one I've never quite understood Wilma, Wilma, I don't know, I just just th. I've actually always felt that Wilma, I don't know, I just thought she was a bit... No, not Wilma, Betty, surely. Yeah, Betty. Well, this is what I'm doing, Wilma, I mean, Betty, surely.

No, I mean, he's just quite homely. Oh, come on, Steve, you wouldn't say no to Wilma. Oh, I suppose not. Well, I'd be worried about Fred. do it you know I want to do it a friend he's a good guy it is isn't he's a little jump whereas Barney to be honest I don't think he deserves but do they both work in the quarry I mean let's be honest Fred not a smart man I mean he'll come out of a rock school with anything other than a couple of basic O levels I know but he's a hard you know he's a hard working sound sort of a big house they got like a TV they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th a th th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to to to to to to to the to to to to the to the to the the to the the the the the the the the th got like a TV they got that bird thing. Yeah I mean I'd be honest if I was Fred I would be a little bit disappointed that my kid does nothing whereas Barnas can lift up sort of tall

buildings bam-bam he's a very strong you know. I mean interesting me Fred thu to theyreed he's all he'll have they're all y'all da da da da. He's all the whole. He's all. He's all the whole. He's all all the whole the whole the whole he's all the whole he's all the whole he's all the whole he's all the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole their their they. He's all all all all all all all they. He's all all all they. He's all all all. He's all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all lifting. He's lifting. He's lifting. He's lifting. He's lifting. He's all all all all all all all all. He's. He's a little little. He's a little. He I wouldn't take that from that cat though. If a cat picked me up by the scruff neck and put me out right on the doorstep, I'd go mental, I'd get rid of it. It is a saber-toothed tiger though, Carl, so it could rip him to shreds. It's not like a normal domestic cat you have now now today. You know when they go to go to go to go to go to to to to order to order to order to order to order to order to order to order to order their to order to order their to order their to their their to their to their to to to to to to to to their their their to to to their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their their their their their their th. I th. I the. I the. I the try. I try. I to. I try. I try. I to. I try. I to. I try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I to. Yeah that huge rib and it tips the car over. Yeah. Was that her first day on the job? Because I've never been ordered before. Yeah, I always got a big. We've got Brontosaurus rib. Won't that knock the car over? I don't know. Rick, can I tell you now? That was an accident waiting to happen? It was really, wasn't it? Oh, it was really, wasn't it? Oh, really? I was. that. that. that, that. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, was, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. I was. I was, I was, I've. I've. I've. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I've never never never never never tod. I've today. I've today. I've today. I've today. I've today. I've today. I had some ribs and it was like a thin stones it was huge and not only did it look too much like an animal that I couldn't actually eat it. I don't know who could eat it. I mean seriously it was two foot long and all the rib, it was like half a rib cage. And I just... My friends were lived in Texas for a while and they once were in a kind of diner and there was you know those kind kind of the their.to the tape itself like a kind of picnic bench yeah and this huge fat guy came in he wobbling he ordered like this kind of everything you can eat meal and his

fat kind of fat this big fatty fat and it's fat on the fat table yeah it wrapped itself around the table he was chowing down and when he tried to leave the table oh no imagine they're the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try toy toy toy toy toy toy toy the toy toy was was was was was was was was was was was was toy was was was was was he he he he he he he he he was was he was he was he was chow he was chow he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the the the the the the the toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy tb is tb is toy tb is tb is toy tb is tb is tb is tb is tb is tb is tb is toy Oh no! Imagine that! I mean they are fat aren't they? They're big people. They're huge people. But it was that thing which was like before that, um, bloke on Jerry Springerstone, it was like 80 stone, right? Now, I felt quite sorry for him. He was really sad and he was crying. It is rad, but my point is this, right? When he got to say 50 stones, didn't he go, that's, that's, that's, didn't, that's, that, didn't, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's, that's, that, that, that's that's, that, before, before, before, that, before, that, before, before, that, that, before, that, before, before, before, before, before, that, before, that, before, before, that, before, before, before, that, that, before, that, before, that, that, before, that, that, that, they, they, they, before, they. they, they. they, they. they. they. they, they, they. they. they, they, they, they, before, they, before, they, before, they, before, before, they, before, before, before, they. they. th. go, that's too much enough for a land animal. Exactly. Do you know what I mean? That's big isn't it? I mean I'm getting worried, I'm thirty stone and I'm genuinely getting worried, I'm thinking oh god.

When you've got that big, when you've actually got your own mare. Yeah, yeah, when you begin to appear on the ordnance survey man yeah yeah exactly yeah when you got your own symbol it's like we can see two things from space now fatty and Steve Merchant we'll be learning about well no I'm just saying you're not fat I you're freakish and big just another quick thought someone but I've always the soft spot th th th th you to to to to to to to to to to to the to to they to they they th you th th th th th th th th th th to th. their to their their to their their they their you're their their to their their their their their you're their you're their you're their you're their you're their you're their you're their you're their you're their you're they oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh to to to to to to they. they. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm they. I'm they. I'm they. I'm they. I'm they. I'm and big. Just another quick thought. Someone's mentioned Daphne from Scooby-Doo and I've, but I've always had a soft spot for Velma. Velma? Oh no. I mean, I'd have, oh no. She's clever. Can I tell you what would have happened if I was in that environment? I was maybe on the... Your glasses would have got tangled up. No, I'd have always had a... I've always had always had always had a... I. I. I. I. I. I. I've always had always had been been been been been been been been been been a... to have a... to have been a... Oh. to have been a... Oh. to have been a soft. to have been a soft. to have been a soft. to have been a... Oh. to have always had a... Oh. to have a... Oh. to have... Oh. to have... Oh, oh. to have always always always had to have always always always always always had a... to have always always always always always always always always always always always always always... to have a... to have a... their. their. their. their. to have a... their. to have a... to have a... to have... to have a... to have a... Oh. to have a... to have a lot. to have a lot. to have a lot. to have a lot. to have a lot. to have a lot. to have... to have... to have... to have... to have... to have... to have... to have... to have... realised it was never going to happen with Daphne I'd have blown it with Velma.

Maybe not though, maybe not, maybe not. Sometimes those, you know, they might you know, appreciate honesty and go, listen, I've been hitting on the good looking one, I've thoroughized, do you fancy it, Chubbs? Exactly. Something like that. I'm wondering. I. I. I. I. I. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. thihing. thihing. thihing. thihing. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiol-I. thiol-I. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. Maybe. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. Maybe. It's. It's. Maybe. It's. Maybe. Maybe. It's. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. It's. Maybe. It's. is what you're saying. I'm wondering, I don't mean to be libelous, but Velma, she was quite short, the glasses, the short hair, lesbian? Hang around with the dog as a blisbian. I'm beginning to wonder if she was, maybe. See, unfortunately I said lesbian there and you still carried on with your assessment of what it is to be a lesbian, it's bad enough doing the cliches of having short hair, you, but, but, but, around with a dog. Do lesbians do that? Well have you seen some lesbians? They're right dogs. Good night. Have you seen what I've done that? You know what I've done there in? Comedy award winning.

Oh God. I was doing a cup of tea, 100 reasons. I was over a cup of tea, 100 reasons. On an XFM 104.9 just gone a half too. Rick is your vase? Yeah, with Steve Merchant. Hi. All right? Rick, we've got a couple of emails in here, and they're saying they enjoyed your performance over the Christmas period on a program called 100 Greatest TV moments.

Yeah. Did you do an interview or something? What was? What was? What was? What was?? What was? the the the their? their? their? their period on a program called a hundred greatest TV moments. Yeah. Did you do an interview or something? What was the deal? I didn't see this. Yeah the office was in there wasn't it and I interviewed for it. But what are they talking about? They enjoyed your performance? Come on tell me. No, it's the thing that I did on Razmataz. I was just where they found a clip. they're a the clip or yeah yeah yeah I was in a band and we had one single out or something and I did one TV appearance when I was about oh god and they showed a bit of it about seven seconds me on Razmataz for those that don't remember was like a kind of I suppose what was it like a CD UK of its time yeah yeah exactly yeah and uh oh god and it was it was that of the time sort of new romantic and I showed a clip of this I looked about ten

and about five stone with hair and makeup and girdy clothes. My sister actually said I looked like posth spice. Which is funny story about because we were rushed and we had to do this thing and we were, oh god and we were meant to take a flight to Newcastle and the were you travelling from London? Yeah but we got there we didn't have tickets we were told to me that but the A&R man overslept, I have the work company overslept and it was terrible and we were fretting and eventually it was too late to get the plane we missed the plane we had to get a train and it was really kind of fine they they they they they were back they were back they were back they were back they were back they were we were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were going we were going we were going we were going we were going we were going we were going we were going we were going we were going we were going we were going we were going to to to they were going we were going to to to to to to to their their their their their their their we were going their we were going their we were their their their their they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were to to to to their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their they. they the they their their their their their we got there and they went I'd oh god right and I had this sort of like jumpsuit I was wearing that I'd cut off put that on backwards. A jump suit? Yeah I know it was bad. Yeah I had that on back to

front and there was no time and I think I even mime wrong at one point and it was awful but the funny story is this that when we were there we didn't have our tickets. This was at the airport. We bumped into Bucks Fizz. The guys and Gulles from Bucks Fizz and their manager says like five of them right and there's two of us and they had five tickets and this is and Buck's Fizz tried to smuggle us through and they went so they went through the things, right? And they went, tickets please. And he just waved five tickets that he had. Like that goes, this is us, right? And they went, well, can I have a look at it? And there's only five here. And they went, they just looked at us and went, sorry, lads, we tried. We were nearly smuggled their powers. That was like, was that really, that was the real the belief time. They'd already, yeah, they'd already done making your mind up. I thought if anyone can get us through customs check, it was the FIS,

but even the FIS could not get a FIS... What I like them, that reassures me, I have to say about, you know, that's good because even you know the top security man went hold on there's five in the FIS there's five tickets those two lads are not going through yeah that makes you more secure about air travel now it's lovely if I'm in America you know and I see five star yeah yeah you know to get through customs with two other lads exactly I think wait a minute what's the security guy stopped them it's fine it's the security the security the security the security they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th I I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I that the the th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th is th is th is th is that that that that that that tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thee th and five star. Oh, it's lovely, it's lovely to know that. Yeah. I love the fact, and did you, did you know the Fizz, did you know the Fizz, was this your first running with the Fizz? No, they were first running with the Fizz? They were doing the Taz, they were doing the old, the old, their the old, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. They're, their, th, their, th, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, the Fizz, the Fizz, the Fizz, the Fizz, the Fizz, the Fizz, the Fizz, the Fizz, the Fizz, the Fizz, the Fizz, the Fiz, their, th, th, th, th, first, first first, first, first, th, first, first, first, first, th. Fiz, thi, first, thi, first, first, their, their, first, first, their, first, their, their, their, their, their, was, first, their, was, was, was, their, the thinking. I love the audacity of going up to Bucks Fizz and saying, try and smuggle us in.

Can you try and break aviation law for it? Now, yeah, now it's time to make your mind up. We're going to the land of Make, believe. I did that and they love. They went. I was actually on top of Bobby's shoulders in a long coat. Lovely. Yeah, but Bill... But seriously though, I don't understand what their plan was to see. Like they would have gone, yep, through.

It was the face of fears, let them through. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, but see I didn't have it on then. I was just, no, I was just in series I just had jeans and a t-shirt then I didn't even have my hair geled I was just like cash I saw it I thought he looked all right did you did you? Well I'd like to see I mean for the same jump suit yeah yeah yeah then you don't you know yeah yeah the tied jump suit yeah yeah yeah they they're the they I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the they they they'd they'd they'd they'd they they'd they'd they'd they'd the the they'd they they they they they they the same the same they they the same I'd they their their their their their their the same the same the same the same the same the same the same yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tied tied the tied they the the the the tied the the the the the the the the the the the the the If anyone else saw it or maybe they takes it and they've got a clip because I'd love to see what I missed it. Well, let's I'll get you one. If you have it, I'll tell you what, why don't create a website? Um, and put that clip on there on a constant loop and then send the address in and I'll give it out and people can check it out for themselves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'll that. I'll that okay. I'll that okay. I'll to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get I'll get I'll get I'll to to to to to to I'll to I'll to I'll to I'll get I'll get I'll get I'll get I I'll get I I I I'll get I I I I I I I I'll to get I I I'll to get I I'll to get I'll to get I'll to get I'll to get it I'll to to to to to to to th that I missed it I missed it I'll get it out to see it out to see it out to see it out to get it out to get it out to get it I missed to get it I'll get it I'll get it I'll get to get it we come to the feature. We're carrying this over 2002 because it was such

a great success. Everyone's talking about it. Do you remember I stop my film reviews because I'm only doing films I like and I've done other films I like. That's where other film reviews substandard films. My average is still nine and a half out of ten. Yeah. No one's got an average of nine and a half out of ten no one's beaten that. Not Barry Norman, not Jonathan Ross, no one's got an average of 9.5 out of 10 for the films they reviewed. So I'm keeping it there. I don't want to drop my standards. However, that film sounds good. This is where I pick a classic track from a film that I might not have seen, right? But I like't seen it. I haven't seen it, right? But a song, now don't panic, listen without prejudice, this is out in John, but it's when he was good, okay? When he was a bright, funky, young, Brit glam star, wonderful song, wonderful

tune, wonderful tune, lyric, wonderful lyrics.cycle Club there Steve, what's about it? We've had some laughs haven't we? We've learned as well, we've been educated as ever. Yeah, pasties, all like that. We've got Baget information. We've had features such as, that film sounds good. That's it, isn't it? We've had features such as that film sounds good. Exactly. A song that I like. Song for the Lovers. Song for the Ladies. Song for the Ladies coming up very shortly. Rick, I was lucky enough this week to go to a exclusive press preview of Britney Spears, forthcoming movie, Criss Cross, or Crossroads I think it's called. Yeah. It's not related to the popular TV show. Rick Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. Rick. to. to, I. to, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I. to, I'm, I'm, so. to, so. to, so. So, so. So, so. So, so, so. So, so. So, so, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. called. It's not related to the popular TV show. Rick, I'm assuming you'd love me to do a little review of it now.

I can't because it's embargoed until March. I can only talk about it in March, otherwise the press people will go crazy. No, I don't, I wouldn't want you to know all can pump me for information, I cannot tell you anything about it until March. I would pump you for no reason ever. No, but really. Certainly not for information. Carl, doesn't matter what you ask me about Britney Spears, I cannot tell you anything about it. Okay? But seriously if you want to know the plot or what I think of it, I cannot discuss it. Okay? If the listeners want to email in questions, they can, I cannot reply until March. So, hang on for that. I've seen the film already, I've already seen the film myself, in advance of everyone else, they can't tell anyone about it.

Right. Until March, that's the kind of excuse. I'll say what, though, maybe I'll review it in March. No, you can't. Why, you can't. Why? Because you haven't th. Why, why? Why, why? Why, why? Why, why? Why, why? Why, why? Why, why? th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. I'. th. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'm. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I've. I. you want to ask me a question now about it. Well, that you're in March. Yeah, but if you wanted to know now, you couldn't know. I'm going to tell you. Right. Song for the Lovers. Yeah. Anyway, song for the Ladies this week.

I was lucky enough to get given us a Christmas gift. The Rolling Stones' complete. when I was, I'd forgotten how brilliant wild horses. Oh, great, Jack. So I thought I'd play that this week for the ladies. Let's leave them with that. Jagger and Richards are their best. Beautiful. Watts is in on it. If I know Watsy. I mean Wyman was still there those days.

See you next time. Bye.