The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S2E7 (October 5, 2002)
Episode Date: September 2, 2022Series two of the podcast began on 28 February 2006. It consisted of 6 episodes with the final one released on 4 April 2006. The series saw the return of Karl's Diary and Rockbusters. A new (though ...short-lived; it was only presented in the first episode) feature was also introduced in order to replace Pilkington's "Monkey News", called "Real Monkey News", where Gervais attempts to present facts about chimpanzees which are factual and scientific.With the start of series two, the formerly free Ricky Gervais Show shifted to a pay model – and as a result the show is now classified as an audiobook. It is available through Audible and the iTunes Store with individual episodes. The reason for this addition, according to Ricky on the podcast, is because The Guardian agreed to pay for the bandwidth for 12 episodes, and any more extra episodes would have to be paid for out of their personal finances.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Richard Ascroft. Check the meaning on XFM 104.9 we're back Steve, it's Saturday.
That's true enough.
Uh, Steve and Richard that is.
Hello there?
I'm Ricky Gervais, obviously.
Carl's still away.
Claire Sturges is back.
That's absolutely true.
Hello there, thanks.
I think a lot of people were hoping that Carl's back, the week. Just saying it's really nice to you again on the Saturday afternoon it's nice and but but you're not really very funny and when's Carl
coming back so it wasn't to us? No no it was definitely direct to me but no they
used to sort of like come in and when we discovered Carl the way to the
when we discovered Carl early on we just thought this is comedy gold just let him
just let him speak his mind but then we started th to to the the the the the the the the the to the the the the to the the to the to the the the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the to the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. their. their. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the they. they. the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. But they. But the the the the the the the the the the the they. But. But they. But th. But. I. I the the they. I. I's. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I was. I'm. But. I'm. But. I'm on we just thought this is comedy gold just let him speak his mind but then we started thinking oh we can't follow him
though so remember Steve going look we've got to come up with some stuff we
need to chat if anything we've got to say to each other we've got to say
that in the first 20 minutes and then you just unleash Carl yeah because it's just you can't follow him he and he's off on one and he's he's he's he's he's the stories the stories he's the stories he's the stories he's off stories he's the stories he's the stories the stories the stories he's the stories the stories the stories the stories the stories the stories the stories the stories their their their he's he's to have to have to have to have to have he's to have to to to to to to to to to he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he he's he's he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's to the the the the the th he's to th to th th to th to th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the he he he's he he's hethat were half human, half bat and frog and things.
I'd love to take him back to Manchester in some kind of TV documentary, you know, when
Carl went home and just wandered back maybe try and find the amphibian twins or whatever
those people were with me.
Yeah, there was two boys, both had big heads and webbed feet. They weren't related. They didn't hang. They. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. I. T. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. to. their. their. to. to. to. to. to..................................................................................................................................................................................................'t hang around with each other. That was all the information we heard. I went, why not? He went, that would have been too obvious.
Like they look at each other across a room and go, yeah, you think if I'm coming to see you just because we've got, just because we've got, just similar species.
Yeah. You're mistaken, mate. You're mistaken. One starts to walk over there, one shakes his mouth. the mouth out, just, just, just, just, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, tho, tho, tho, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they what they're expecting. Yeah, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it Webby. Yeah, but anyway he'll be back shortly I'm sure.
He phoned me. His dad's ill, his dad's in hospital, so a car went back to sort of look after his mom.
He went, he said, I'm back out of just driving and he went, he said, so unbegrudging. He went, that's all right here. And I think it's going to be fine.
And I said, how was your holiday? He went, yeah, it was good, except it were a nudist speech,
didn't tell me. I went, of course it was.
I went, oh, sitting on the, I don't know why they have to do it. I don't know why they have to do it. Why they're thin, I the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I, I th, I th, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, they they were, they, they, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, they were, they were, they were, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, th. th. th. th. tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, were, were, they're, were, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're it, why do they have to do it, why do they think there's nothing wrong with it like being a transvestite, right? Right? I went, I love the
fact that your girlfriend has to tell you what's wrong and right in the world.
And he went, well we walk along the beach, fellow coming towards us with a sweet about, I went, what's going to be a true. And he said, what's going, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to, to say, to, to, their, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's the fact, I's the fact, I's the fact, I's the fact, I's the fact, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the fact, I'm the fact, I'm the fact, I'm the fact, I'm the the the the the the tapot.. I'm the tapot. I'm the the tapot. I'm, I'm the fact, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, walking around, he's stark naked and he wants the freedom of that, but he's got a big rucksuck on his back with his clothes on just to get changed.
He went, so what's the point in that? Right? And I went, he should just carry the book.
He went, what, he went, what, he went, he went, oh yeah, good idea. See? He went, But I wasn't happy. He said, and that, and that was, and that was, and that was, and that, and that, and that was, and that, and that, and that, and so, and so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what's. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. all right, gobsmacked. That's out, that's out, what's that doing out?
Why has he got his out?
I imagine Carl sort of dressed in a suit, in a sort of safari suit, done right out with a cravat.
I'm not undressing, I don't want people seeing a flak. You know, that's for you love, and I just, that's for you love, and I'm just, that, that, that, the fact, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the th. that's th. th. that's thi, thi, that's thrown, thrown, that's out, tho, that's out, that's out, that's out, that's out, that's out, that's out, that's thrown, thrown, thi, they don't think there's anything wrong with it, they're just happy that way. And he in his own mind just goes, like being a transvestite.
He knows there's anything wrong with that.
I'm always a little bit suspect about people who like walking around new.
I think he's a transvestite.
No, no, nudists.
Hold on a naked, transvestite.
What if you want to he a naked transvestite? That's an interesting metaphysical question.
Yeah.
On X FM, 104 or 9.
If you know the answer to that metaphysical question, or indeed any of the famous ones, if a tree
falls in a forest no one-legged has it fallen over.
Any of those?
That's brilliant.
Yeah, if you leave the room, Rick, what's the sound? Yeah, what's the sound of one leg hopping?
Exactly.
What we got there, Claire?
Do you want some music?
Yeah, I've got a bit more chat.
I've got the Vines, actually.
Oh, play it, play it.
Hey, Claire, out of the way.
Hey, Claire, outing to you. It's the name of the song by the Vines. Excellent. Yeah, Expen 14.9. I'm on Jimice with me, Steve Merch.
Hello there. And Claire Sturgis.
Have you ever been to a nudist speech? Have you ever been to a new speech?
Yes. Have you read it? I- No, last month I went on holiday to Antigua and I went on the New Year speech. Really? I wanted an all over. Sure. Because I was with my family
once when we went on holiday, family holiday with... I just got you going on and the inspector
coming on going and the glasses. And the glasses and you don't wear them there.
Uh, no, I went there with, it was some friends of my family, like kids, so it was kids my age, and my sister's age, who, and parents were all friends, you know, do the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, the, their, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, their, their, their, I's, their, th.... We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We're, th. We're, th. We're, I was, I was, I was, I's my family friends you know like kids that so it was kids my age and my sister's age who parents were all
friends you know do the go to go on a holiday to this end up on this
speech not not not a new speech but where people sunbathe top or whatever or
maybe maybe it was just because it was France where I think a lot of that
maybe yeah yeah I think a lot of that's all yeah I think a lot of beaches in beaches beaches beaches beaches beaches beaches beaches beaches beaches beaches beaches beaches beaches beaches all all all all all all all beaches beaches beaches yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Sure, there are the, yeah, with the cocks and everything. We can't say that. Or did you mean the chicken?
Look, there's a lot of a lot of genie people, a lot of male birds around with them.
There is a lot of poultry. And by male bird, I don't mean trans-sex. No, I don't mean, no. That is also offensive so be careful when every... Please be careful. Be careful what you're going to say on there.
I just want to say to the radio authority or anyone listening, when we say cock we are referring
to a male bird and...
There is no discussion there's nothing, there's no other issue, there's no other ambiguity.
Okay, go on.
Go on. So, um, there's people walking around with the birds and, and often, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, they, and, they, they, they, they, and, they, they, they, and, they, they, they, they, they, and, they, they, they, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when we say, when, when, when we say, when we say, when we're they they they're they they they they're they they they're, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when we we they, when we they, when we they they they, when we say, when we say, when we say, when we say, when we say, when we say, when we say, when we say, when we say, when we say, when we say, we say, we say, we're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're so it was just a top list, it was just a top of speech.
So we're all there, aren't they?
So there were tits there as well?
There are some tits?
We've got a family of tits that come and eat the nuts.
That chew on my nuts.
Go on.
Go on.
We're confusing.
Jane's got a bag of nuts. me hang out of the window. So you'll often be hanging your nuts out the window. And the tits can...
Sure. God, I don't know what... Please. Go on with this story.
Sorry, so what I'm saying is, what I'm saying is, yeah. We went on to her, it was family there,
there, there was some tids, there were some cars. And I find it all a a little bit disturbing, because I hadn't been introduced to this sort of thing before.
And obviously my dad was having none of it, like a bit like Carl and I obviously my
mother of the person who wasn't up for that as I was, but the mother of the person who went, she took her top of and I was like, I was like, I was like, I didn't I didn't want was, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, was, I was, I was, I was, I was, to, I was, to, to, th. didn't, I was, I was, I didn't, to, I didn't, to, I didn't, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, was, to. was, because I was with me, I was going, well, I want to say, well, there's your mom with the knockers out, really.
I mean, that's your mom, that's your mom over there.
Hello, David, oh, there's your mom's, there's your mom's, there's your mom's knockers.
Oh, there's your dad, there's your dad, popped out. Yeah, he's got a little, he's. He. He. He. He. He. He's, he's, he's. He. He. He's, he's. He. He's. He's. He. He's. He's. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. That's. Oh, that. That's. That's. That's. That's, that's your. That's, that's, that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's your. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. Oh. Oh. That. That. Oh. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That's your. That's your. That's your. That's your. That's your. There. There. There. There. There. There. There's your. There's your. There. There's your. There. There's your. There's your. There's your. There's your. There's your. There's your. There's your. There's your. There's your. There's your. There and he's loving it. And your mom's got the old milk was out. So it was all of, it was a little bit disturbing and I've never quite got that image at my head
really because it was it was all but I didn't know where to look I didn't know what to do.
My friend of mine, I won't say his name is right, he's about 25 now. When he was I think 14 and 15 I mean the worst age he went to a nudist holiday with his parents and his sister
and some of her sister's friends and he absolutely hated it.
It absolutely hates it.
It makes me I'm sort of queasy to think about it.
Especially if you're with your family and friends, because it's, I don't mind
looking at nudy ladies that I don't know really but I don't want to look at relatives you
know what people I've grown up with or indeed the likes of you I don't want to
see that kind of flesh down I don't want to know what's going on underneath
those clothes you know you've keeping them hidden from me
well you haven't you've shown you know they've shown you know the you've you've you have you've you have you've show you've you have you've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I've shown the I I I've the I've the I've the I've the I've the I've the I've the I've the I've the I've the I've the try I've try I've try I've try I've try I've try I've try I've try I've try tho the the the the the the the the's not a bit of your body I haven't seen at some point. You know, you'll have got your trousers down, look at the arse!
That was, you know, thinking that was hilarious or the old, you know, the Johnson.
Yeah, feeding the birds on the windowsill.
But, yeah, now it is, it is strange because, you know, there isn't anyone with it.
There isn't anyone with it. We spend so much the time covering it up. You know, it's like in the summer months when girls start wearing kind of short-sleeve
t-shirts or short skirts, you have bloke just going mental.
Just, yeah, I think it's because we spend, women spend most of the year because it's so cold here,
covered up, that men forget what's under there. And then when summer comes to and their
summer comes down. They do actually just hang out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out get your ticks out. I want to go has that ever worked? Yeah has it ever worked? And what's your success right with that?
What's off to my big job in the city but I got 20 minutes? Why not? Shall I come
up there? You're gonna come down? Yeah. Oh dear.
Oh, right. What we got coming up? Quick keep them hooked. Well you know Rick you got some songs and some more chatter and be some chit-chatter and there'll be some songs. We had an email last week from
a fellow calling himself Paul, I don't know if that's his real name. He said that sometimes...
I'm suspicious. I'm already suspicious. He said that some time ago we played a cracking Johnny
Cash cover version of You Two the. Remember that? I think maybe trying to track down that album. He says unfortunately like an idiot I didn't listen to it and I didn't catch the name of the album.
Could you buy any chance send me the album? He's having a laugh. He's having a laugh? What for free?
Yeah so that's not gonna say Paul. So I do it now? Give us give us eight quid for no reason. Give us give us eight quid to the name. I've also called to him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he he's he he's to give to give to give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us give us. I to to to to to to to to the the the the the the he. he. he. he. to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. He. He. He's to. He's to. He. He's to. He's to. He's to. He's to. He. He's the the the the the the offensive names. It's good thought that. I'll put from Gervais.
Oh dear.
He's not like that.
That's pretty grim.
No.
He's didn't have brought her into it.
Indeed.
Johnny Cash.
Oh, I'm going to be nice.
Johnny Cash in his cover of U2's 1, magnificent tune.
That's from the album
American 3, Solitary Man that was released in 2000 and I've just checked that
email that Paul, if indeed that is his name, sent us Rick and he didn't ask for a
copy of the album, he asked for the name of the album. Right. So I feel a little
bit bad that I send that email back, insulting him and his mother.
Yeah.
And also, of course, I ceded it to his mom, as well, and many of her friends.
So, um, send another one.
I feel, uh...
I think we can get around this.
I'll tell you what Paul would like if that is his... If he would like some adverts. Oh, oh, he'd like some adverts. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, he. Yeah, he. Yeah, he's to. Yeah, he's to. Yeah, he's to. Yeah, he's to. Yeah, he's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to FM, one of the four point nine, I'm just moving the mic there,
hold on I'm getting comfortable. There you go. Right, sit up, I was landed.
A lot of people do that, a lot of old prongs, a lot of the old pros, like Poxy and
tired and tired of it. They were on Top the Poppster the, but they did my generation. Any good? Yeah, very the old the old the old the old the old th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A lot of th. A lot of tho. A lot of tho. A lot of tho. A lot of thoosososososa. A lot of tho. A lot of tho-a. A lot of tho-a. A lot of thoom. A lot of thoom. A lot of thoom. A lot of thoom. A lot of tho. A lot tho. A tho. A tho. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A lot th. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot. A lot th. A lot th. A lot tho. A lot tho. A lot of tho. A lot of tho. A lot of tho. O-a. O-a. A lot of thooo. O-a. O' thoooo. O'a. O'a. A lot tho. I they but they did my generation. Any good? Yeah, very good. I mean, you know.
Was it close to the original or did they make it their own?
No, both. It was pretty close.
They did, you know, musically it was close but you know they had a certain.
Was it Noel singing or Liam?
Liam.
.
Oh, theyme.
to be a tell me though that so if you go to any of these big stadium gigs they do now, it's an absolute nightmare because a lot of the fans are really grim.
I mean I've spoken to two people independently who've both been at gigs where there have been
fans weeing on other fans shoes.
That's not what I want to that.
That's not good.
Well yes, yes, apparently. Yeah, because catlaw. Yeah, catlaul is if you were on something then you own it. I know you live by catlaul.
But you do live because I, yeah, no, I've, my wallet I think you own.
And, um, several telephone boxes.
Much of my hair.
Uh, what are we talking about?
Uh, what were we talking about?
We were talking what they do. Sure there's other games you could play. I think French cricket would be slightly more.
All the pictures I've ever seen of New York colonies always seem to be quite attractive
women and some fairly grizzled sort of 45-year-old men.
I don't know if that's generally the clientele.
That you know, it just happens to work that way. I'm just cruising day like, happy birthday, right I'm off. Where are you going without your clothes?
Yeah, yeah.
And at what point, I mean, you can't go into a nudist colony, can you without taking your clothes
off?
You can't.
I don't know if there's a door policy when they said something.
Oh, actually, no, because when I went to my nudist beach, there was actually
a security guard. Stopping the th. I, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi-I thi-I tho, you can't. thi-I thi-I tho, you can't tho, you can't tho, you can't tho, you can't tho, you can't tho, you can't tho, you can't tho, you can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can't. You. You th. You th. You th. You th. You, you, you, you, you th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. You can't thi-I thi-I than. than. than. than't thatean't thean't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't thatke who would say a fairly good swimmer to swim up to the beach in a wet suit?
From France?
Okay, why not? Yeah. Let's say, just say for the sake of it, that this person, you know, had
some time on his hands in the week. Yeah. You know, and he was, he'd made quite a bit money. He trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd trained, he'd their. He'd trained, he'd their. He'd their. He'd their. He'd their. He'd the the their. He'd, he'd, he'd, he'd, he'd to. He'd, he'd to. He'd, he'd to. He'd, he'd, he'd, he'd their. He'd, he'd, he'd, he'd the the the the the the the the the the to. He'd, he'd, he'd to. He'd to. He'd to. He'd to. He'd to. He'd to. He'd to. He'd, he'd, to. He'd, to. He'd, to. He'd, to. He'd, to. He'd, he'd, to. He'd, he'd, he'd to. He'd to. He's. He'd, the if I can go I can get yeah yeah you're a starter France it could work it could
work yeah so what was your nudist beach experience this was not a not a
colony no no it just was a choice that this this place had a few beaches
one of them was a nudist beach and could you see the newdest beach from
the regular beach no you couldn't you see it was just around the
what about with binoculars possibly possibly my my worry is as a healthy young man. Yes, you're
not healthy young men. No, no, but I'm talking about you too. You're pretty healthy young
men. How awkward it must be for you on a new dispeaage if you do happen to
see a very good-looking naked lady. What you do if you do if you...
Well that's the reason I, that's the reason I'm not gone to any.
Okay, I guess exactly that worry.
Because it is very off-putting.
Yes.
If you had, it sounds like this is a confession.
Exactly, yeah.
That did actually happen to us.
Really?
An older gentleman obviously was enjoying his time on the beach.
And then came over to chat. And you just don't know where to talk. Sorry, so hang on, so he, he approached you. Yeah, for a chat, as you do, people are friendly.
Right, without wishing to get to lewd within a state of arousal.
Is that the case? noticed how quiet Ricky was keeping this
point? So he came over, he came over, he came over, I'm worried about telling this story.
I'm worried about telling this story. I'm worried about this, I'm interested, I think it's an interesting,
yeah. So he's a he came over and he was just chatting away, yeah. Yeah, well,
eventually he got quite proudly. Yeah. Well, well, eventually he was this term? I mean not wishing to be disrespectful, but you know, he's a man, he's been around a bit. Were you reading erotic poetry? What were you...
I was talking about the weather. Right. How nice it was today. that's how nice it was today.
And he approached in Paul position? Or did he... No? I don't like it anymore. Oh, That's terrible. I went swimming. Was he French? Was it quite tricky to speak to him? No, no, you spoke perfect English. So during the break, Claire said,
I went on the switch runs, right? And this man came over, an old fella, and she said,
and she started off, but he had the biggest knob I had seen. And then I laughed and then she went and then it got bigger and
I went, you can't tell it then, I was worried about that, but she left out the funny bit and
just went, you just went all boy. Yeah. So play Bob Dylan, the only Bob Dylan can get us
out of this. This is off his last album, Love and Theft. It is the only track I really like, I'm I didn't get on with the rest the rest the rest the rest the rest the rest the rest the rest the rest the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Bo. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. But, Bob. But, Bob. But, Bob. But, Bob. But, but, Bob, Bob, Bob. But, Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. Bob. B. B. B. But, Bob. B. But, Bob. But, Bob. But, Bob. But, Bob. But, Bob. But, Bob. But, Bob. But, Bob. But, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. But, the, the, the, the, the, their. But, their. their. But, the only track I really like, I'm afraid. I didn't
get on with the rest of the album because it was too, it was too ho-downy and country blues
and stuff which is just not my sort of thing. But this is a nice track called Mississippi.
Mississippi. Mississippi. Off the album love and theft. I must admit not my favorite Dylan album, but that's a nice track, isn't it? It's it? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It's it. It's it? It's it. It's it. It's it? It's it. It's it. It's too, it. It's too, it. It's too, it. It's too, it. It's too, it, it, it, it, it was too, it was too, it was too, it. It was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it. It was, it. It was, it. It was, it. It was, it. It was, it. It was, it. It was, it. It was, it. It was too. It was too. It was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it was too, it I must admit not my favourite Dylan album but that's
a nice track, isn't it? It's a lovely track actually. I just noticed that you've brought
in three CDs. Yeah. You bring those three in every week, don't you? You just play from those
three CDs? Or what, what, you substitute the Dylan for Dillon albums and the other two two remains? Well no, I've got to play in different, I've the I've got Tiver Tiller Man, I never bought that in before.
Is she have?
I've seen it before?
No, I've never played anything off Tifor Tiller Man.
I've played that off Catch Bullet 4, T's Winfrey the Fire Cat.
You don't have a sort of deal with Island Records try and CDs that are in the bottom of a bag. This is why I'm thinking it's just you got one carrier bag that you bring back
exactly. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Well we'll look forward to those later. Yeah. No no no no I was just
I was just really wondering Rick and I don't want to put you on the spot but could I have
some efforts? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so is Claire Sturgis in a round. Feda. F F F F F F F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. 104.9, I'm Ricky Javais.
Hello there, Steve Merchant here. Of course you are.
And so's Claire Sturgis in a way.
That's true enough.
That's true enough. Yeah.
Um, Rick, oh I parted till it was, I parted last night, like it was 99, really?
Really? All of a lot of old-fashioned sort of records. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, so th. th. th. th. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, th's thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, so, my own. In my flat, crying.
Just like 90, 99.
Now, I went to see Prince at the Hammersmith Apollo, and I tell you this, I mean,
if that's a man whose career is going down the pan, then I'm sorry.
Then I hope ours does.
Then I hope ours does as exciting as that.
Because he was stunning. I mean, he is, a lot of people I know I know, I've that, I've that, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm, I'm, went, I'm, went, went, went, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, went, don't know, went, went, don't, went, went, don't. don't. went, went, went to. We. We. We're to. I don't. I mean he is, a lot of people I know have seen him in the in the 80s or whatever and he's, when he's to descend from a ceiling in a little red corvette
and stuff, but he is breathtaking. He is like, he's like what it must have been to see Elvis
Presley. I'm really, I've not seen anyone who's electrifying on stage. I mean, I think like, like most people had a bit too much for him. And that wasn't, and that wasn't, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, that, that, that, that, he is, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, he is, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I is, I was, I was, I was, I was, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, most people were cheering out singles and you don't know what you should like.
You can't take it all in.
There was just too much.
Yeah. I didn't like the, you know, the sort of the end of the 80s phase either too much.
That whole period when he was fighting with Warner Brothers and he was, he was, he started, wearing masks and I think. I think everyone. I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I th. I think, I th. I th. I think, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi, I th. I th. I th. I th. There was, I th. There, I th. There, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, there was, I was, there. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. There was just, you th. There was just, you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. There was just, you th. There was tunes and he's written, you know, I think I think he's pagan. I mean, you know, I don't band you this word a rain, Rick, as you know, but I'd like
to use the word genius.
I thought you're going to say I'll pay for that.
No, no, no, no, no, no, genius.
Oh, wow.
the genius. I will in just one second thanks for asking but can I can I try and justify that can I just because it is a controversial phrase
to use Prince is a genius and let me tell you why on his first album or maybe on a
couple of his first albums he played all the instruments brilliant like
Squidly Didley didl in one episode of that I saw he was playing
dizzed the piano he was playing drums with two technicals at the back. He was standing on two tentacles and he was just the other one free for trumpet.
That sounds like genius to me.
Yeah.
That's what Mr. Prince.
The only thing I would say about the concert last night, three hours, three hours,
non-stop.
Well, almost three coffee, going what are you looking at? And also very witty. I've got 20 minutes by law. Very witty as well because a lot of people imagine him being quite dry and quite sober.
It's very funny.
But sadly, Prince now, well I don't mean to be offensive, but as far as I'm concerned,
you know he's now a Je I felt a bit like I'd
sort of you know I mean like I sort of paid 40 quid and I'd queued up and
I'd sat for three hours to then to then be to then be preached out a little bit
so that was anything that to put up well I say what good job for him he was good
value because he'd have got an earful from you if he did he'd have not played. This has stormed out. I'm out of it here.
But I did. So you've had, interesting, Steve Merchant says, Prince is a genius. This is XFM
104.9 coming up to 2 o'clock. Prince is a genius. Can we open the phone lines please?
What's the phone number there Claire? Oh 8, 700, 800, 1,234? Me and my mate were talking about when people say genius and they do band it around winningly and it's sort of like a comedian or something they go he's a genius and we think that
there's people in cancer research sort of laboratories and age and they're going,
we lost another one to ITV?
Yeah. Why didn't he go into science?
He came in the new Newton but now he's getting the ratings up for five.
Exactly. So, but. Is he? Ricky.
Dr Javais at XFM.K. if you'd like to email. Prince, genius or little fella.
It's up to you. But when you are Joe's witness, I don't know I don't know much about the
the faith. But are you are obliged when you sign up to do to sort of do your time going door because it would be amazing Prince turning up at your door and just just. I I I I I I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the, I. Is the, I. the, I, I, I, I, I, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is th. Is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is, is thi, is thi, is, is thi, is, is, is thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the sort of do your time going door to door because it would be amazing imagine Prince turning up at your door and just how can I come in
well or no and you know I'm just coming in and I'll sing in some of the hits
but I'd like you to buy a copy of this afterwards I'm not really interested
why they're which ones you gonna play which ones you can play
I don't like if I was your girlfriend did anything anything from anything off. Yeah I quite like, could you be the most beautiful? I like that one. Yeah. With
all those fat people in it. Does it make it a, does it make him a genius? Oh, call up
one of two three five, nine, six, four, two nine. Prince genius or played with
hair. Well this has got to be proof of his genius. He played it last night and it's just dynamo.
There is a strawberry scar.
Prince of course and Raspberry Beret, one of the tunes he played last night and
breathtaking. I have to say I can't sing his praises enough. Although, uh, didn't manage
to get myself into the after-show party where Prince is often renowned for playing with the likes of jamming with the likes of all the sways what would have been your your
approach to get in here Steve Merchant here X FM Ricky
Ricky Javaisia any chance I could come in to your party party I'll be honest
um can I call you Lankie well if they'll help me get in yeah it won't but
thank you anyway I'll be honest lanky your chances are slim to none four eyes okay all right I enjoyed the concert if that is any
okay I could talk about it on the radio I'm gonna take away that slim okay
it's none now freak okay okay okay okay so go away so go away yeah cheers okay
was it something like that it was not dissimilar, Rick.
There was a lot more profanity last night.
And punches were thrown.
Was it last night?
Yeah.
Oh right.
Yeah, it's worth taking for you, Rick?
How is it working out for you being a ceib?
How is that working out for you? Is it? Hey, all the fame and everything? And how was David Bowie on Tuesday? I read about that. Why did I have to read about your
presence at the David Bower gig in the evening standard? Why do you keep that from me? Why do you keep that from me?
Right, okay. Right, I know you're thinking. I've got an invite, it was, it was free. It was free. Because I discussed it in the t. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Why, why. Why. Why. Why. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why th. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why. Why, why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why the. Why, the rule. The rule is that we make the TV show, you're in the show, you become famous, fine, but
I need to be able to also get the benefits of that.
Well I didn't go, did you read this in the standard?
Yes, I did. It said, present, I said, present at the concert, present at the present at the concert, present at, present, was, was, was, was, the, the, the, the, the, to, the, the, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, also, also, the, the concert were Ricky Jervais and Jonathan Ross. Now we were invited but we couldn't go, neither of us could go.
So they just, I just think they must have seen a copy of the guest or someone said they'll
come and so, or they just guessed, but I didn't go.
I couldn't go.
So there you go.
It was Wednesday and I couldn't go.
If I'd have gone, you'd have been there, thrown. Because what worries me is that you were invited or you requested tickets and then you didn't go?
No, no, what happened was that the, um, Bower's people just said that you come into the concert tonight and I, I, I said I, I couldn't.
But, let me tell you something to get you off this track, right?
The next night, we did go to dinner with bowing at someone's house.
Wait, right, listen, it was a very, it was a small affair, it was, me and Jane,
Jonathan and Jane, it was David. Frisch Leames. Yeah, no, no, and I think it was the old friends
of the family, it was a beautiful house and it was just us lot and
Richardy Grant and Pete Townsend and Charles Sarty and that and it was just
you know I think it was this and it was set places as well so I couldn't have got
another it was weird because we got there we I mean it said 8 for 830 and I got
there at like five past eight and Jamie we can't go to really and we went in there and the servants
gave us a drink and we were standing and I was looking around it was an amazing house, it's
beautiful house and there's Damien, Herst Faintings and Lucien Freud and I thought that when the host comes in, I'm going to go you, you didn't you, you didn't you, you didn't to go, you didn't to go, you, you, you, you, you, you to to to to to to to to to to the to the host, the host, thin, the host, the host, the host, the host, the host, the host, I was, the host, the host, the host, I'm the host, the host, I'm, the host, the host, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, thin, thin, thin, the thea''er, thea'er, that, the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, uh, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, the, the when the host comes in, I'm going to go, you didn't tidy up for us, did you? but I was actually so overwhelmed and in through the door, let himself into the door, Richard
Gramp, and I went, all right, and I went, yeah, I'm Richard, yeah, all right?
And I went, just let yourself in, he went I've just seen a video and and
then this isn't helping is it because you're you this isn't helping well
when you I mean the phrase I was just gonna pick you up with their arm was
I've just seen your video
because what what I feel what I just feel that what I just is that it wasn't made sort of solely by you or
directed entirely by you or directed entirely by you.
It happens to feature you amongst a myriad of other actors all of whom are brilliant
and equally worthy of an invite to that particular due.
But you've noticed that the person that's representing the show, what got you a place around this table? You notice the one person that was invited is you,
is you? Yeah. Just just you, just you, just you. Yeah, well that's a very good reason.
And a woman what do you know who wasn't involved with the show, your girlfriend? Well I did actually say if ever I get invited to see Woody Allen and it's two people
that it would have to be you and Jane that went because you're both bigger fans of me and
I promised that. And she went along with that. So David enjoyed the show do you?
He did, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah he did yeah. And how did the evening panel? Was it suitably
rock and roll?
It was very nice. It was really nice, a pleasant family best.
What did you have to eat?
I had, there was nibbles sort of coming around.
And then, um, they fed you the food, didn't they?
I bet you, I bet they fed you the food. And then we had, oh, what was it, what was for, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, the, was, was, the, was, was, was, was, the, was, was, was, the, was, was, was, the, was, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, was, was, was, was, was, what was for starter? Um, I was like a ravioli thing for
starter. I thought I won't have too much, I fill up for the fish dish. The fish was lovely.
Then there was a sort of chestnut moose. And what did you talk about with David Bowie?
Um, just, you know, music. Yeah. Is it, you're because I'm interested in, no? It was really nice. He's really so nice and normal.
And he actually came over and he said, I've just seen your video.
And then he went and said, are you going to get the band back together?
He meant he'd seen the room 101.
And it was basically taking the Mickey out of me.
And he was going, no, I thought it was really good. And uh... Because you were just a sort of Bowie Ripple from you, actually.
And yeah, and no, it was really, really nice and normal affair.
Seriously, it was just really, I mean I was going, oh my god, there's so and so, there's so and so.
But it was really, we really enjoyed it, it was really pleasant and everyone was, and at the end, and at the end, um, um, um, um, um, and, and, and, the people, the, the the th, th, th, th, th, th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it, it, it was, it was, it was, it, it, it was, it was, it, it was, it, it was, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, it was was a friend of his like a lot of sort of
really old friends of his got a photo album just like you do and those
pictures like David Bowie and Dave yeah sure well no I mean that's gonna
I mean that's gonna be a big he was cooking and David was like a to look at
Iggy cooking and he was laughing like you do a mate you haven't seen it was so
sweet it was just so nice and then I'm gonna I'm gonna see up with play record Claire because it is actually a
little bit annoyed me play record then Robert De Niro popped in yeah
and it all got a bit depression and Woody Allen yeah anyway do you know
anyone that likes my work more than you know I don't think so I don't
think so
I don't think so Carol, Dream in a View, an XFM 104.
104.9.
I mean one of the only tunes on the album I think worth listening to.
I haven't heard it.
Oh, it's rubbish.
Is it really?
Everyone's singing its praise is like they're the saviours of British rock, but it just
seems like the inspirable carpets.
And I don't mean that means, Rick. Well I don't think
I don't think they've ripped off the 90s. I think... Old hat you mean? Yeah, sure. Yeah, Like it. Let me just return very briefly to your, uh, your... No, I'm not going to embarrass you, but to to that, I'm not that, I'm not that, I'm not that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that I don't, I don't that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that I don't, I don't, I don't what I don't what I don't what I don't that that that that that that that I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that that that that that that that that that that that your dinner date with the David Bowie. What I intrigued me as
you said it is that when you... No it wasn't because of the office it was through I think
because I met him with Jonathan Ross I think he was going back to the mouth of the time.
I think he was going back to the mouth. But I like the fact you say that he came over to you and said I saw your tape last night. I just like the idea the idea idea idea idea idea idea the idea. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was the the the the the the the to the to the to the th. I was. I was th. I was th. I was the fact. I was th. I was because the th. I was th. It was th. It was because th. It was because because to to to to to to to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It was because because because because because because because because because th. I was because th. I was because th. I was th. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was tape. toda. the. the. the. the. the. the. It was because the. It was are sort of saying you'll be having a lunch tomorrow with Ricky Givais. I don't know who that is. Well there's a tape, watch that and you'll
be able to engage in some competition. He's a minor celebrity here in Britain. He's a minor celebrity
here in Britain. He's a relatively successful TV show, but we think, doing a sort of vague pastiche of you. And other than that, isn't much else to say really.
Just be polite to him and then move on.
Okay, who else is?
You know, it's just sort of, it's really odd that he was given a tape.
It's like someone, you know, if you were doing a chat show, you imagine Michael Parkinson
would be given a tape. time? I think he's followed my career from the 80s. Sure. No, yeah, when you put it
like that, it's not as flattering is it? It's free. It was very nice and very polite and
we got like a house on fire. Sure. No, it's great. Did you do your impression of him?
No, of course. Did you not, did you feel like the age to snap into it just occasionally? And I didn't, I was just going, that's David Bowy, I'm that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I that's th. I th. I thi. I'm very that's very th. I that's very polite and very polite and very polite, I that's a that's a that's a that's a that's very that's very that's very that's very that's very that's very that's very th. I that's very th. I th. I th. I th. I'm very very very very very very very very th.. I'm th. I'm very very very th. I'm th. I'm very th. I'm very th. I'm very th. I'm very th. I'm very th. I'm very polite. I'm very polite. I'm very polite. I'm very polite. I'm very polite. I'm very polite. I'm very polite. I'm very polite. I'm very polite. I'm very polite. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was that's David Bowie that. All that's still David Bowie. That's David Bowie talking to me now.
Oh, that's David Bowie talking to me now, yeah?
That looks like David Bowie.
Yeah, that was what was going through my head.
Yes.
And we're talking about his songs.
And that was bizarre.
It was quite surreal. I mean, he's quite a musical hero of mine. So it was... You didn't mention Tin Machine?
I didn't mention Tin Machine.
I didn't mention Tin Machine.
Because I just be there just thinking, don't mention Tin Machine, don't even say you like it,
because you don't know what he feels about it.
You see, I think, if people listen to this show, they go, don't invite Steve Merchant
because he's insulting. He insults. ths, don't, don't, don't wrongly. He brings up a period of your life you don't want to talk about.
Yes. Get the little short fat one. He's a lot more polite. Sure. Leave out the lanky
one. Yeah. They probably wouldn't say lanky, Rick. They don't know what I look like because they listen to me on the radio. I think they're insulting they might say say they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. their. their. They're their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I thi. I thi. I'm their. I'm thi. I thi. I th. I th. th. th. their. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Get their. Get their. Get their. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm thi. I'm thi. the. thi. thi. the. thee. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they're insulted they might say you know West Country Oik or something but it was it I was listening to some someone yesterday there was someone
had a Bristol accent fascinating and no but no I think oh yeah it was some one
of those the Fame Academy disappointed but I think you'd have to get
into it a bit of a shower was the moment but I mean no there's no investment I didn't know them and one of them had a buster accent and I just thin oh they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're th thi thi thi thi thi thi they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're a Bristol accent and I just thought it really is a stupid accent. What have we got lined up?
What have we got? A bit of John Spencer Blues?
Oh, I love this. I love it. This is an old classic guy we have brought in today and I think you'll enjoy it.
Hello. I'm too. I don't you can start on that real. There's so much I could attack you or not. Look at you. Look at you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Oh, I th. Oh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, I love, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, I love, I love, I love, I love th. Oh, I love, I love, I love John Spencer Blues Explosion.
Oh you do it, sorry.
Well, no, I just thought I would.
I just thought I would have brought it in.
And then someone was complaining that we speak over each other.
Yeah, we had an email saying we gabbled too much.
And we both went, I don't think we do.
Did you say that? I didn't hear you?
I was talking at the time. Yeah. Yeah. Right place wrong time by John Spencer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We also had an email that said you didn't enjoy it?
No, no, no.
We also had an email saying, again, uh, a again.
No, go on.
No, go on.
I won't know.
Go on.
the No, no, you... You can see why that would annoy me. I know. You can see why that might annoy me.
Take your headphones off then, because that's...
It must be louder in your headphones, because I don't wear headphones.
No.
I'm not so much thinking of me as the people listening at home.
Okay.
The people who pay our wages.
Go on in.
We had an email you. Rick, I don't know who's winning with you making that noise. You're the only person who's enjoying it. If I only do this for my...
But there's a handful of people listening, Rick, who's...
Who's Saturdays, Rick, are empty.
They've got nothing.
They're running on empty and this is all they've got.
Okay.
And they want conversation.
Okay.
What you're going to say then?
.
.
. If it's interesting or not? Well let me say it before you make the judgment. So let me, alright, what about this? If you don't like, if it's not interesting, then you make the noise.
Okay, alright.
All right.
So this is just, we had an email.
Right.
It said, is Claire Sturgis drunk.
It's the show.
I swear.
I've lost it now.
to really really, really, really, really, really, to. No she's not, no she's not drunk is she? Bit coaxed up. That's not true.
It's not true.
No, not true at all.
You don't do drugs, do you?
Claire, you're not used drugs, right?
No, no, no.
Yeah, you're clean now.
How does that go for you, the detox?
It's great.
Mainly thanks to steal so much now to beat the habit. Anyway. Are there any drug addicts on this station?
No, not anymore.
No.
Because I bet there are.
I mean you don't have to name names, but what about initials?
Are there any scagg eggs, any smugglers at all?
Seriously?
Because I'm in dreams.
Can you tell me? That's terrible. Yeah, they were. What do you mean? No, they weren't. Stop this.
Are there only people who, like, they think that they've got it under control, but they haven't
really?
It is they're awesome, aren't they?
They go in, they think that no notice, but they've got no pupils.
Yeah.
And they just stare at it for ages their for ages for ages for ages. Yeah, because there's a couple of drunkards I know, but there's no... It's boring now? Okay, play a record, it's boring.
The situation telling us it's boring.
the thereason's stone age. No one knows. It's going well.
I'll enjoy it, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Adverts or what? What do you reckon?
We're loving them.
Getting away with it from Electronic of course, fantastic tune. Yeah, no, it's a mutual favourite
that. that's a mutual favourite a lot, don't we, Steve? We do indeed. Yes, we are mutually appreciative of that track.
We could your vase, of course, friend of the stars.
Claire Sturgis is here, my name Steve Merchant, ahoy.
Yeah, Ex-FM 104.
the other day, because I haven't seen you this week, but I did see you walking on the street,
holding a gum shield that you just bought.
How'd that work out for you, the boxing?
How'd that that Ricky talked about the other week on the air. He suddenly decided at the age of 40 something that boxing is really the professional
40 something means 47.
I'm just 41.
I am 40 something but 40 something is like a euphemism for near a 50.
Yeah. So don't say 40 something.
Okay. Say 30 something?
Yeah.
So yeah, he's taking up, apparently there's something called white collar boxing. Did we mention this last week? No you didn't know but I didn't know something about I think you mentioned it before the
thing you mentioned it's white collar boxing.
It's basically it's like a kind of it's like a classier version of fight club.
Have you ever seen that?
So um it's sort of they don't meet, and you just have a bill on there and you punch each other for charity. Yeah, but anyway I've been
training, I've been training boxing for a while now just like you know the pads
and everything and last week we started on the sparring and it is a different
level. Honestly I mean I can work out now for an hour on the pads and I did about one and half rounds and it was like I was like the the the the the the the the th you you you you th. th. the the th. I was th. I was th. I was the th. I was thian. I was thian. I was thian. I was thian. I was try. I was try. I was try. I'm tre. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try boxing. I'm try boxing. I'm try. I've try. I've try. I've tre. I'm tre. I'm tre. I'm tre. I'm tre. I'm tre. I'm tre. I'm train. I'm train. I'm train. I'm train. I'm train. I'm train. I'm train. I'm train. I'm train. I'm train. I'm training. I'm trainer. I'm trainer. I'm training. I'm training. I'm training. I'm training. I'm training. I'm training. I'm was asthmatic. Because you're also, the trainer, who is a, you know, a boxer himself, put the gum shield
and he goes, okay, I'm not gonna, and I was giggling with fear.
And he said you gotta get a gum shield in the case and that's where he saw me, I'd
gone to the Lonsdale shop and I got a gum shield. I just, I just, I said said thagered this this th. I th. I th. I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, th. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was ga, I was giggling, I was giggling, I was giggling, th.. was giggling, I was giggling, I was giggling, I was giggling, I was giggling, I was giggling, I was giggling, I was giggling, I was, I was, I's a good idea. I mean you know Ricky you've known him for a while now. He's not mentally tough, which is a problem I think. You know he's not, psychologically
he's quite, he's quite weak. Like he's scared of a lot of things, you know, cars.
Spiders. I mean he'll get, I've seen like edgy like if a carthat? Is it coming through the door? Is it? No, it's all right Rick. We're on the eighth floor and it's a cross tang. It's fine.
I don't like crossing roads. No, I mean I've never seen around so try. And on the motorway,
if someone's going to the motorway, but I'm looking at the information. Yeah, because he can't drive as
well. That's a rational fear though isn't it? I think it's because you can't
drive. Yeah possibly. So for instance the fact that you know I've seen I mean he
actually I can't drive and I do exactly the same thing on motorist. Yeah that's
the right yeah. But do you do Avenue in rush hour, so you're never going to pick up a great deal of speed. But Ricky will, he won't mention it to the driver
I feel you're going a bit too fast. He'll whisper it to me. He's basically suggesting to me.
He's basically suggesting to me that I should say something. Because I'm basically,
you're terrified off spiders as we know yeah
cobwebs
it's terrified pictures of spiders there's no smoke without fire yeah I know
who made those web Steve and they live there yeah it was you that got
the certificate wasn't it raised on the spiderman film
so they couldn't show the trailer before you know you'd gone to bed.
Are you scared of Spider-Man?
Are you scared of Spider-Man? No, I'm not scared of anything. But I've got, I'm not scared.
I got, I'm not scared of that. I got, quite used to him. I got, I don't know it.
Barry Keller. Yeah, he was alright.
So you're scared of that?
Tarantas aren't the scary.
Tarantias aren't the scary.
Tarantzes are sort of like, more furry.
But what about these?
Because you know these programs where they have, they'll have people on, and they'll
sort of, like I'll sort of show once where she was about phobias, and a woman was terrified, and a to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, their, thoananananananananantermia, thoan, their, thoan, thoan, their, tho, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, so, so, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, so, so, and, so, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort......... And, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, like, so, so, so, so, so, like, so, like, so, so, like, so, so, like, to, like, to.a. And, to. And, and, like, and,to sort of try and have that therapy done and so you can maybe deal with your your which is basically let's be honest
a woman's concern it's a woman's fear isn't it essentially.
That I stand on a chair. Exactly, exactly. No but I saw one, what's that one, he's really nice,
he's not Jerry Springer, he's really nice and he has you know weird people on it. What is it? Montau Williams? No. No. No. No.
About 50.
Mori. Mori. Yeah. Mori Purvich. Yeah. Is it? He's one without glasses, any? Yeah.
Yeah. And there was like these women on there, right? And they're sort of, you of a snake and she'd be screaming knocking things over and I'd go, well that's not doing any
any good. Really? That's just for the audience to prove her point that she's terrified. And it was like
tinfall and some are brought on millions of bags of tins and she was screaming and hugging. What you're scared of ti- Yeah scared, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's not Yeah well I mean this it's irrational you can't link it back. I know somebody who's afraid of buttons. Yeah any the craid of buttons
weird going on in your head and it's some sort of weird symbolism. But I mean I
understand the snake of the snake one or the spider one because I understand
you know there are poisonous spiders and snakes but also
also it also be sort like chemical memory yeah that could be you know but because I don't the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th of of of of. th of. th is is. threat is. trade of. trade of. trade of. things. things. things. they. they. the. the. don't have any irrational fears particularly. I, yeah, don't confuse that I'm terrified of because you never know when
it's going to spring because he's not got any of the social graces Ricky, he'll just think
it's funny to just pass wind, you know dinner. I don't imagine he did it during dinner
dinner but if I'm having lunch with him, because he'll just start grinning and you know it's on the way Claire. You know there's something in the poach when Ricky starts just when a little
kind of when his lips curl up you're having lunch maybe here it comes here it comes
I'll tell you it is eye watering stuff I mean it's intense. Oh tell the story when
you're on the train the train there is only one smell that is worse than Ricky Gervais's flatlant I I I I I I I I I the the the their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is in in their is their is their is their is their is their is their is there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's is there's is there's there's there's I I I I I there's there's they they they they thi three. I thranny. I thranny. I was only thranny. I was only thro. I was only thro. I'm thrown. I'm there's there is only there is only islands. I was on a train once and a dog was on there with
his dog and the dog past wind, right? I don't know what he'd been feeding it like sheep or
something, you know, cattle. He must have been feeding it, you know what I mean? Like intestines,
it was intense. This smell pervades the carriage. You know because they're all like air, they're all kind of air-conditioned or they're their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, thief, thief, their, thigh, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their sheep, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their th.. If, like, like, like, all like air, they're all like air-conditioned or they're tight, so there's nowhere for the smell to escape. So it's just, it's just kind of spreading, like in this kind of invisible sort of stench.
It feels like the carriage. I'd tell you, people's eyes were bleeding.
Do you know what I mean? It was like that right? And the bloke, who was obviously a bit embarrassed, said, oh, I don't know, sometimes, I don't know, I don't know who's
worse, you know, with their flatulence, you know, people or dogs. And I wanted to go,
I've got an idea. How about dogs? What about your dog? It was just, I mean, that try, let's try and make a joke of it. No, get off the train at the next stop. It was just, I mean, oh, I mean I don't like people with dogs anyway,
just generally, you know, you'll see people walking down the road with dogs and they just
let a dog, you know, do its, it's ones or its two's on, and it really winds up. Because you'll see people, it'll be like old ladies or kind of tofs or something
like that.
And they were the sort of people that will complain about, you know, bad language on TV or
youths, you know, or nerderwells hanging out by bus shelters.
But it's soon, but they're happy for their dogs that. You know what I agree? Well that's not it do with liking dogs is it? Again that's that's
arrogance of people to think it's... But there are a lot of people as I say who
are kind of, you know what I mean, who think they're better than they don't
have to worry, they don't have to bend down and scoop it up. I know what the last half hour Steve, they've heard Nirvana, they've heard Oasis, they've heard
Dylan, they've heard Dylan, they've heard Dylan, we've heard coming up, we've got Cat Stevens,
we've got Tom Waits, you know what I mean?
Now, it's great music.
They've heard they've heard niv-aulner, they've heard O'Conn't. Now, it's great music. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. We're playing. they're playing. th. th. th. they're playing, th. They're playing, th. They're playing, th. They're playing, th. They're playing. They're playing. They're playing. They're playing. They're playing. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha'erer. tha'er. tha'er. tha'er. tha'er. tha'er. tha. tha. tha. tha. thathat they're Dylan we've got coming up we've got cat Stevens we've got Tom Waits you know I mean now it's great music we're
playing a lot of music and talking less than the last bit now now some
people right would say that's because we running and empty and we ran out I
think to say it 20 past the first hour yeah I say actually we want to get in some great tracks well well that's that's my excuse that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the for the Tiller Man. I've got nothing, Stephen. You run it right now. Well it's the noise. I think the noise was the noise. The noise was really nice.
The noise was really nice.
Moultz from T for the Tiller Man.
So many people, Rick, have the tune-o'-li-State.
So many people, Rick, have their tune of the why? I think why, Rick. We just said someone's phone up saying they want a bit of psychedelic furs.
And Claire said, I watch your favorite track? And we both went, it'd be pretty and pink.
And it was. But you know, you're meant to say, like a heart or magic,
you're told to say, coming up athings all the time, like, and after this, a classic from Men at Work.
That'll be down under then.
Coming up next, a beautiful tune by Danny Wilson.
Mary's prayer, it's Mary's prayer.
It can only be Mary's prayer.
to be Mary's prayer.
So it doesn't work with that, they. one hit yeah or a tune from hearsay oh I hate them all nice you like rock and
roll that we hate him don't kick him when they're down yeah true enough
call what other pop do we hate you know that thing um yeah we all hate pop
music don't we that's why the alternative stage is
ad the do's rubbish oh I hate it Ross Abbott there's no atmosphere in here with
that playing oh oh oh um last night's things th the th th th th I th I th th I th I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that. th. that. th. they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they that that that that that that that that that that the the that the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. they're they're they're they're they're Oh. Last night's thing started the Fame
Academy and I've been I'm quite a sad tele-watcher and I've been looking
forward to that for about two weeks. I fell for the hype I can't believe it I
love Pop Idol I love Pop Starze the rival I love Celebrity Club I love
all those things right. But um just disappointing because they'd already picked them I think it's it's investment and I'll be I I I I I I I I I I I'll the I'll the I'll the I'll the I'll the the the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the the the the the the the standard I'll the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the standard I'll the st. I'll the the the the the the investment and I'll be honest, I think the standard was poor.
The standard was poor. I think so. Are these people with different abilities or is it all singing?
It's still singing. It's rather like they've got us down to the last 12 of Pop Idol say.
It's like that, you come in at that level. But to be fair to the program, I think it's all about what happens next because now they get voted out like Big Brother.
Right. And so do they write their own material and stuff or they'll be taught to do that.
They've got the whole team together and everything. So they're filmed, you know, like, their 24 hours a day. And so, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they, they're, like, like, they're, they're, their, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're always a few, there's already a few, I go, right, she's annoying, right, vote
her out and they have to, there's three that the teachers say each week, okay, you're up
on probation and then you vote them out and it gets it down to one person. But the interesting thing is, it's not just they get a record record record, they a record, they they they get a record, their record, their record, their record, their record, their record, their record, their record, their record, their record, their record, their record, their record, their record, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, pad in Notting Hillgate, they get a sports car,
right? And it says they get to go to parties, they're already set up to go to the FAA Cup
final, the Brits and all those things. Dinner party to the game about it. Yeah, meet all these
people and then after a year it's taken celebrity lifestyle which you've worked for. No but but the other thing is of course they could be
big stars by then and they just have to get their own car but how do that?
That psychologically is going to be grim but are we going to follow it up for that
year are we gonna is it like well that's when it becomes interesting I mean now camera crews following hearsay now that I know I'm like like like what what what what what what I'm like like like like like I'm like I'm like like I'm like like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like like I'm like I'm like like like like like I'm like like like like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I. I. I that's. I that's. I. I that's. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I'm. I'm. I know, and what Jay did next, when they actually, yeah, yeah, but I don't know
how they're going to do it.
Do you, how long, Jane, what do I call you Jane?
There's so many, the name James, you mentioned so many times.
You can call me whatever you like, see.
Love.
How long do you reckon in there? Well, you see, as a...
Well, it depends, you see?
Go on, you answer.
No, because as someone who would be watching Big Brother if Ricky was in there, I would make sure that he would be watching.
I would make sure that he stayed in right till the end, just for comedy value.
Of course, well, of course, because you know, because you're on the trained me but the public presumably might
want me in there as irritant.
I think the public would turn against you as well.
I know you, Rick.
Right, well that's about it.
We haven't played a song for the ladies for some weeks because I just keep forgetting
to bring one in. Thank you Jane. I thinne. I thought you know I played Tom waits for a while and this is one th because because because, you th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as thi the the the thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their their their. I their th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I to the. I theateateat. I theat. I theat. I theat. I theat. I theateate. I'm th. I'm th. I thought you know I played Tom Waits for a while
and this is you know one of his classics and it's just beautiful beautiful tune
and however many times you've heard it it's still brilliant downtown train Rick.
Oh I can't believe it. That's it. And Carl I think we'll be yeah well we
don't know but I'm sure everything's okay I'm sure it is and we'll see him next week
thanks jay bye bye bye everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye