The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S3E8 (December 20, 2003)

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

During the hiatus, Pilkington signed on with Gervais and Merchant’s talent agent, and negotiated a deal with XFM to get Mondays off in exchange for continuing to do The Ricky Gervais Show on Saturdays. This was a frequent topic of contention during this run with Gervais repeatedly accusing Pilkington of being lazy for demanding an entire day off on exchange for doing 2-hours of work on Saturdays.This show began airing again in November 2003 and broadcast for 12 weeks until January 2004 when Gervais and Merchant went on hiatus to film series 1 of their new show, ‘’Extras’’.

Comfort and Sound by Feeder on XFM 104.9, I'm Ricky Javais, with me Stephen Merchant. Hello there. But no Carl Pilking. He's in Lanza Grotty. That we have got a very, very special standing. It's Camfield. Say hello. I'm so excited to be here.

It's been, you know, the things I've learned in the last 10 minutes before we've even gone on air. Like you don't have a theme tune. I don't have a theme tune. I don't wear headphones. Exactly. Ian wears headphones with a preamp. He's got three midgets just brought in his back line. They're called Dog Mongo and Blitzkree. Look Blitzkree is up on the up there, they're eating a banana. Yeah. And uh, he is the king of rock. He's. He is the king is the the new. He is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He is thi. He is thi. He is thi. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's got. He's gotthe king of rock. But we'll be doing that. We're working out who. I want over this some. And by the way, Camfield, I don't want the Ian Camfield that does XFM and go, and it's fast approaching 123 here's Ash. I want the camfield that goes, I snorted ants with's my only request from this show that we do play Paul Deano's version of Santa Claus is coming to town. The rest of the same is over to you. Yeah, we're going to play some Christmas tunes, we're going to play some, you know, our favorite hits the year, but mainly this is the rock program. What worries me, Rick is the the, th, th, th, th, the, th, the, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, the, the, the, th, th and, thian, thian, tho, than, than, than, than, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, than, than, than, than, than, thian, th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and the rest, the rest, the rest, the rest, the rest, the rest, the rest, the rest, the rest, the rest, the rest, the rest, the rest, the rest, the rest, the rest, the rest, the an the an thean, thean, thean, the an the an the an than, th really, they're not regular ex-fo listeners, they just kind of crawl out their more people. On a Saturday afternoon, put the show on. So they might not, they might not be familiar with the years.

Well, Ian Canfield is a young man. He's been in, uh, he's been in radio, it's weird, he's 14 but he's been in radio for 15 and a half years. Yeah. he he's was was was was was he was he was he was he was he was he was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was thin th. He was thin thin th. He was they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they might they they they they might they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're thin. Yeah. He's thin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. the thean thean thean thean they might might they might they might they might they might the new, he's going to be the new rock god, aren't you? I'm trying. Yeah. No, no DJ Camfield. Just go, yeah. Right? And over the over the two hours, I want to work out the four pillars of rock, right? I want four names, four pillars of rock, right? Huge rock, and then I want the king, who stands astride them like the the the the the the rock, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, the first, the first, the the the the the the the thian, thian, thian, thian, thi? thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, than, than, than, than, than, than, tooan, tooan, tooan, tooan, tooan, tooan, tooan, thi. is thi. And, thi, then I want the king who stands astride them like the archangel of metal. So we'll be asking, every thing is we're asking like, who's your first pillar of rock? And then, you know, keep in the one that stands astride them.

Okay? And how many do we need? Well, we need five names then, don't we? The four pillars of rock and who stands astride them? Okay? Like the Overlord with these Axe Attack albums. Yeah, yeah, this is OIS. Christmas. Christmas. OI.S. doing their original, Merry Christmas, everyone. It's Christmas. It seems only appropriate that we play the occasional Christmas tune. There aren't many decent ones. The great, will we play in the greatest, not just Christmas, one of the greatest songs of all time, but certainly the greatest Christmas tune in New-in... Christmas. Christmas. Christmas. Christmas. Christmas. Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, the, Christmas, Christmas, the, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, the, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, and the, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, and their, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, and the, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, and their, Christmas, and their, and their, Christmas, Christmas, and their, Christmas, Christmas, and their, Christmas, and their, Christmas, and their, Christmas, and their, and their, Christmas, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, Christmas, and their, and their, Christmas, and their, not just Christmas, one of the greatest songs of all time,

but certainly the greatest Christmas tunnel to New York. Is that going to be the, um, the version done by what's his name out of Boyzone? Has he done one? Yeah. Yeah. Who's lived the hard rock and roll life? Who's his name? What is his name? What is his name? Ron, the name? the thrown. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. than. Is, th. Is, th. Is, th. Is, th. Is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is? Is. Is? Is. Is? Is? Is? Is. Is? Is? Is? Is. Is? Is? Is? Is? Is. Is? Is? Is? Is? Is. Is? Is? Is? Is? Is. Is? Is? Is. Is? Is. Is? Is. Is. Is. Is? Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is, the. Is, the. Is, that? Is, that? Is, that? Is, that? Is, that? Is, the the the the the the the the the the the the lightened up a little bit. Good luck to him. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people ask me, uh, Canfield, I'm sure you can, uh, kind of, you've probably what experiences of your own that you might want to talk about, but people ask me what Ricky's like in real life. And I don't want to get grotesque. It's Christmas, problem. Right. Well it is for us. Yeah. You may not. I think the one with Ricky's. Ricky hates to miss out on anything. He's terrified that there's going to be something going on that he's missing out on.

A conversation, a joke, someone falling over, you know. And he's down, so he don't spend any time in the lavatory. Because he just, it's too, any period of time he spends in their time, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he hates, he's, he's, he's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, he hates. He's, he hates. He's, he hates. He's, he hates. He's, he hates. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's their, he's their, he's their, he's their, he's their. He's their. He's their. He's their. He's their. He's their. He's toe. He's to, he's to, he's to, he's fun. So he kind of tries to get his laboratory, you know, occupying down time down to a minimum, an absolute minimum. Plenty of pissing. There's loads of that, but none of the other activity, really. I mean you keep that really, it's like you're in, you're out of the out of the out of the, sometimes I don't think you've done the full job Rick. And today, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and to today, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and tho, and tho, and tho, plenty, plenty, plenty, plenty, plenty, plenty, plenty, plenty, plenty, plenty, plenty, there, plenty, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, plenty. Pl. Plenty. Plenty. Plenty. Plenty. Plenty. Plenty. There, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's, there's, there's, there's plenty, there's plenty, there's plenty, there's plenty, there's plenty, there, there, out of bounds now. No one's going there until the New Year. A to J in the library. A to J in the record library. I'll tell you this, I don't know if it's like Tony Blackburn's in the building. His wig a wig. But seriously, no, no, not he wears a plate of wigna he doesn't. He doesn't wear a wig. He doesn't. to play. to play. to play. to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. the tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. to. to. to. to. together. together. toooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tie. tha. I. tha. I. I. I. I'mthe jungle Tony. You'd get down there mate. Tony would you rather eat a plate of maggots or go and get beach boys?

Exactly. And say, A to J, oh, pop pickers. Jesus Christ. It is absolutely extraordinary day there. Oh, but I'll just be warm. But it's Christmas. It's Christmas. Why would Blackburn be listening to this?

I don't know. He's probably doing a th probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably of Christmas shopping. Sure. And he's out and about with his probably got his little, you know, personal stereo on. And he goes, oh I'll listen to the boys at X-FM. And he, uh, Canfield, what do you think of it so far? Yeah. Yeah. It's not, not Vance is it? Okay, who, who is secured as one of the pillars of rock? Blenny. their trousers, three shirts. Really? Yeah. And he just alternates them, does he? Yeah, yeah. He has the same pair of trousers for two weeks but the tea. Is it true his rider is a bottle of Jack Daniels and 40 Molbra? No, it's like one of those 100 packs of Molbra. And he like keeps them stuck in his boots which don't change. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, th, th, th, th. Uh, th. Uh, th, th. Uh, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th, thi, th. thi, th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th. th. the the the their their their their th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. thi. theeeeean, thi. theean, thus, thus. theeeeeborough and he like keeps them stuck in his boots, which don't change.

Actually, I think I'm right in saying like that one of the like two left boots as well because one of them did break so and they had two pairs, but he's now only got one but they, yeah, the bizarre hundred moths. Well, let's let me then, lemmy is one of the pillars of rock. What would Phil Linut, the the the the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, th, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, this? Yeah, he would have done. Let's play some Lizzy then. Don't believe a word. Finn Lizzy on XFM 104. I'm Ricky DeVay's with me, Stephen Merchant, and over there Campbells. Is that your impression of me? Yeah. The rock one's better. Yeah, you shouldn't try and be a DJ. Yeah. Growing up with Diarno Tuesday night. Ian, what, I know you're keen to know this, Rick. What are your thoughts on XFM? What do you get behind the facade of Canfield? What do you think about this? Because we used to have, you know, some conversations, you know. magic. I've got my eyes on the big 105.4, obviously, eventually.

What magic? Now, do you think you want to do like a rock program on something like Virgin or Radio One eventually? No, I don't think so. No. What do you want to do then? What do you want to do? What do you want to do then? What do you want to do? I want to start playing stuff like the Eagles and Steely Dan and Bruce Hansen the range, truth be known. But you'd have to go quite mean in your bedroom? What? But on what sort of platform though? Because you know the good thing like those is they are really popular. They are, I mean I think the Eagles greatest is the biggest selling out of all time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time time. their. their. their. th. their. th. their. th. th. th. th. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. I. I. the. the. the. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the I mean I think the Eagles greatest is the biggest selling album all time now it's overtaking the thriller. Yeah. So I mean that that those... What you're saying Iron Maid aren't popular? Like what I play their popular but they've got a very time... Slip not factory. I mean that I may go

to number one with just their fans buying they? I mean I think still so you could play so you could get on sort of like radio radio two maybe the rock program on radio two does it at the moment is there one? No it's not one choice I should do it. I should do it that my tube. I mean I love the way we're talking about my career and other radio stations I could work for you do you know you know something I'm saying on the tune of the tune, I mean you're, you'd abandon a sink and shit wouldn't you? You wouldn't hang around, would you? You wouldn't fiddle as Roanburn. I mean we've got a couple of pies cooking in the state so we're not going to be here to keep it afloat, no you know the weekend. You know we want to take the good guys with us. Right, you know, when this crumthat's the pitch isn't it? Friday nights 10 to 12 pure rock. Okay if someone, anyone's listening to BBC is Camfield. He is the new new Vance. Malton Metal. That's that's good. My only concern with TV work for for Ian is he doesn't look like the obvious rocker.

I mean people are listening they probably imagine the long greasy hair it's got lots of modern bands. Lots of modern bands now they got you know I'm not slag it off I'm just saying I wonder if the fans. Short hair it's not all it's not all long hair and strange beards and tattoo. No no no the days of them all looking like Lemme and smelling like Ricky. Well and well and truly gone. Yeah have you ever had a long hair. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. Have. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I....................................................................................... the. the. the. the. the. the... they. tried that. No, no. But I've got bullet belts and stuff like that. You know, if you do want to dress up, I would have dressed up and brought CDs. I mean, you know, obviously I should have prepared more for this show. Sure. Yeah. Really? We're going to play some classic rock tho, aren't we? I think we're going to play, we're going their to play, we're going to play, to play, to play, to play, to play, to play, to play, to play, and play, and play, and play, and play, and play, and play, and to play, and to play, and to play, and I've to dress, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm their their, and I'm their, and I've their, and I've their, and I've their, and I've their, and I've their, and I've their, I've their, I've their, I' up up up up up up up, I' up up up, I' up up up, I've their their, I've to dress up up up, I've to dress up, I've to dress up, I've to dress up, I've to dress up, I've to dress up, I've to dress up, I've their. And I'm throwne. And, I'm throwne. And, I'm throwne. And, I'm throwne. And I'm throwne. I'm their. I've for you. Okay and so are we going to play since you've been gone? Yes. Yeah what's next? British Sea Power? Yeah I thought we should play a couple of singles that we've enjoyed over the last year or so and this is one of them. Carry on to carry on. Pall Dia ano and Sanic Claus is coming to towns coming on as well. Paul Dia thii tho'n, Paul Dio. Paul Dio, Paul D, Paul D, Paul D, Paul D, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, British. tho, British, British, British, British. tho, British. tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thiii. thi. thi, thi, snorts out to eat us. Carry on from British Sea Power on XFM 104.9. Not bad at all. Now listen, we should just point out to people that Carl's away.

And we always slag him off because he provides very little. And he's an idiot. Well, exactly, to be fair. But he's obviously off in Atlanta Grotty and he's forgotten to tell us what the password is for our email Rick. Idiot. So we can't get into the email. So we're not going to have Ian's email instead. Ian.comfield at XFM.co. UK, if you want to get in touch. You're never going to have so many emails, Ian. Really? Yeah, you're going to be looking at him all week. It's going to be brilliant for you. You're going to feel really popular. You know what he described Carl, he described, he described Carl, he described Carl, to described Carl, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their thean, thi. E. E. E. Ian, that. Nice. Carl was going, brilliant. Is that allowed? Is that all right? Yeah. Bless him, bald little mank twat.

It's back on the third, isn't he? Well if there's one thing that that magazine is going to happen. What? It was he suggesting you can't be regionalist? Is that a national magazine can say that. Oh bless his little round head. I wonder what he's doing now, he's sitting in the ash reading his um, uh, reading his rich hall book. Yeah, he spent a week when he went to, uh, where was it, St Lucia? He spent a week, right?

Throw in Santa Crabs! Yeah. I don't think they've even got crabs over over there. No, I think, no, I don't know what he's going to do. What is he going to do? Suzanne, what is she going to be? It's going to be winging. But it's sort of like, Carl must be like, a kid. You must be like, like, got a little harness for him. To be fair though Rick, I mean I can't imagine you're much better on holiday.

I've always wondered what that must be like. Because you always need an audience. You've always got to have someone around that you can perform for, drop your trousers for. Annoy. Just generally sing and dance and you're bored. And Jane Seenor, she's bored of you. do you want me to annoy you yeah yeah I can annoy you for five minutes yeah yeah I'll get bored itself I'll tell you what I want some ads and after that in the fairy town New York oh Xxxxxxx the foaks featuring Kirster recall and a fairy towel of New York brilliant on Xfm one of four.9. That's the song I think that single-handedly keeps Shane McGowan in gin for another year.

It must do well, but I'm sure it does. I absolutely love it. I still love it. I saw it on Toppopops too. It's just brilliant. I mean he wasn't great at Miming but but it didn't bother me. Sure. It was miming to a different song. It's a th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I'm just just, I'm just, I'm just just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm, I'm, I. S. S. S. S. Sa, I. Sa, I. S. Sa, I. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S head it was great. Um, I had a little visit in the week Rick I think a little Christmas visit from I know he's a friend of yours, he's a friend of any but he's a friend of the nation. Go on. TV illusionist Darren Brown. Oh yeah. Yeah, he's bought a new pad. Yeah. And he's just came out into tell me about it. Yeah. And uh, he's interesting because somebody to keep his guns. He's interesting because he's somebody. So he's somebody. So he's somebody. So he's somebody. So he's somebody. So he's so he's so he's so he's so he's so he's so he's so he's a to keep. So he's a to keep. So he's a to keep. So he's a to keep. So he's a to keep. He's a to keep. He's a to keep. He's a to keep. He's a to keep. He's a friend of to keep. He's a friend of to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to he. He's a friend of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of he he. He's a he. He's a friend. He's a friend. He's a friend. He's a friend. He's a friend. He's a to he's a friend. He's a friend of. He's a friend of their. He's a friend of their. He's a friend of their. He's a friend of their. He's a their. He's a he. He's a friend of. He's a friend of. He's a friend of I can never know quite of how much, you know, he's just playing with your mind, experimenting. But he's telling him about the place and apparently... You see he loves you? He's got a B-Day in the house. Now we were discussing B-D-Day because I never, I've never got my head around it. To this day, I've not meant to. Well, I've never, I don't think I've ever met anyone who's used used -Day. Oh, Darren Brown does, he's known as the cleanest ass in modern magic. Shiny, shiny ass, they call him.

But, because we were chatting about it, I don't really know, to be true, I don't really know, to be true, I don't really know how you use them. Well I assume you just sort of, to go over to go, to, their, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thin... thin. thoomoomoomorrow, is ta. the. thease. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, the wall with your knees on the tile or do you face away from the wall? No, it's sort of like you just, I don't, I mean you know it's got the little nozzle. Do you sit on it or do you sort of hover above it or do you sort of hover above it? Do you hover above it and just splash things onto them? No it's a little jet is it does it for you? It's the little water Lego Mr. Mellows. It's not a B-Day. You're not your French, you know, cottage again. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. B-Day sounds French. Well, I'm assuming he's French. You're probably so embarrassed about just squat. Yeah. They go, well, well, they go. they, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, they. they. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, the. their. their. their. that. their. their. that. that. that. that. their. they. their. their. their. their. their. their. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that. the that. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the that. their. their persevering with the public which is just the hole in the friends? I mean, I think they have. Is a single Frenchman travelled anywhere else in the world? Yeah, I've seen that now. This is uncomfortable.

I know, my trousers go down to Delhi. And I think they're probably decent porthe, I've never really understood that. But it's not, you don't go in, it's not like, because they're literally crapping into an open sewer, aren't they? That's the French approach to the public lavatory. Do they have the bidet next to the hole? No, no, the toilet is a toilet, isn't it? It's just like, it's like, it's like going to going the bottom, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, to, it, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, the, to. the. to. the. to. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. you use the B-Day instead of the toilet paper is it used in conjunction with? I mean you know what I've honestly never used to it. Because it's not really a working class thing is it the B-Day? No but it sort of came in with sort of like purposeful houses didn't it?

They sort of like shot up all over the, no pun intended. You know what I mean it was like a you know in in in in in. the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm. thi. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm not. I've. I'm not. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've honestly. I've honestly. I've honestly. I've honestly. I've honestly. I've honestly. I've honestly. I've honestly. I've honestly. I've th. I've honestly. I've honestly. I've honestly. I've not. I've. I've. I've. I've. 70s. You know what I mean? It was like a, you know, in salmon pink. There was a toilet sink and B-Day. We won't be using the B-Day. Exactly. Fill it with ice, put some beer in that. Yeah. Because none of my friends wash his that last. There are people who refuse to touch their, you know says he doesn't like the texture of them. Sure. So I mean so he probably love a B-Day if he didn't have to go. Are that kind of upper class women who just waddled into the dining room and trys just go and where's the B-Day? Where's the film thing?

Where's the sink and turning the tap upside down. It's the only way I can do it. B-Day. Thoughts on B-Day's? Have you ever used one? Well, no, you've gone, you've to to the bottom of how you use them? I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Do they come, you need to ask. to ask, you, th. th. th. th. th. th. Thought, th. Thought, th. Thought, th. Thought, th. Thought, th. Thought, th. Thought, th. Thought, th. Thought, th. Thought, th. Thought, th. Thought, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought. Thought? Thought. Thought? Thought. Thought? Thought? Thought. Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought. Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thoughts. Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought? Thought. Thought. Thought? Thought. Thought? the. Thought. Thought. the. Thought. the. Thought,s. Thought,s. Thought,s. Thought,s. Thought,s. Thought,s. Thought, if you've bought a B-Day, the assumption is you know how to use it. Imagine someone in store and going, there you go, this B-D-A-Doh, can you show how to use it? Well, you like this? Well, no, no, I'll go to go to the tooilet. I don't know, I don't really want to do with you here but how I know. I need to know how you transport yourself from the laboratory to the BD.

Should I know when we were trying to offer cold money to have a shower with Johnny? Yeah. That's a weird thing to do. We nearly had him there and then he didn't want us to watch. We said, well how do we know that you've done it on that. He he he he he wewewewewewe. He he he he that we went, we went, we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we've that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that you've that, we've completion. What we got lined up? Well, hang on, let's just say, if anyone's got any idea sort of how to use a B-Day, maybe anytaste. Any idea for anything to talk about on this show?

Well, that doesn't involve crapping or party. We've done that. We haven't done little Chinese fellas, or the second hour. Ian.comfield at XFM.co.co. UK if you've got any thoughts on B-Day's or just you know lavatories generally. Richard Ashcroft on X-FM check the meaning I think it was out this year and we enjoyed it. So I certainly had a thought then that you know someone like Richard Ascroft it was really cool I mean I think one of our greatest rock and rollers really, has great tunes, does great albums, the Verve, you know, already in history.

I just suddenly thought of him listening to this and thinking I wish they wouldn't play my songs because I don't want to be associated with that drivel. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I said, you know, most people get a buzz out of it, I think people say don't people say don't let theattell you th.. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. Do it th. Do it th. Do it th. Do it th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm just, I'm just suddenly, I'm just suddenly, I'm just suddenly, I'm just suddenly, I'm just suddenly, I'm just suddenly, I'm just suddenly, I just suddenly, I just suddenly, I just suddenly, I just, I just, I just, I just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thin. I'm thi. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I? Do you know what I mean? They've just been they've I love that song I love check the mean and I thought it's a lovely song and he's thinking They're gonna sound it have been talk about little gay Chinese fellas and B-dates. Yeah, yeah, and it's gonna make me look bad What was me Rick is that they'll you know if we had to draw up some kind of of to to to to to the to the to the the to the the the to the the to the the the the the the to the the the the to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th. I th. I th., you know, just going to be a few people who, you know, are slightly more shameful than us. I just thought of something. There are a billion people in China, and I assume it's the same percentage of homosexuality occurs, as it is a, that turned at a billion, one in 10, that means there's a hundred million little guy Chinese fellas running around.

Richard Ashcroft, if you're listening, I apologize. Think about it. Do you think about it? You're okay? War was over. I heard a DJ in the week. I won't say it was, but it's sort of like a cheesy sort of housewife choice DJ. And he played that and he went, hmm, weird one that isn't it? What do you think of that the first time you

heard it? Strange one. John Lennon, Yoko I know, war is over. It's the moment at least out there. I love that! What does he mean? That's exactly what I want from a DJ? That kind of insight. We were talking before the break about how many Chinese fellows there are. Brilliant. An awful lot of them. Brilliant, more than Maria. Are you familiar with the fact, the scary fact, I don't know Camford if you're aware of this and it's chilling. I don't know where I've heard this from, but apparently, and this is kind of legend,

I didn't just make this, this is well known, and it's just kind of Right, no, come on. If they all jumped up and down at the same time, apparently, this is what he said, apparently it would call the tidal wave that would wipe out America. I love the idea of coordinating that. Brilliant. Well, I like the idea, firstly, they don't need weapons of nuclear weapons, because they got that threat constantly. They can't count on that. You can't count, you can't count the tiddle wave as a weapon, you as, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, todal wave, todal, todal., toda, toda, toda, toda, toda, toda, toda, tod at UN people going look out for anyone jumping. Exactly. Because all they need is an immense sort of skipping rope. Oh yeah, one, one's a little fellow in Japan, I'll get one the little fellow in Russia on the other. Exactly. And they go on your marks, you'd have a lot of coordination over that one little. Maybe like someone like Mr Motivator kind of Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe. And they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd have. they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd their. Because. Because. Because all. to their to to to to the. to to the. their the. their their they'd their they'd they'd. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I think that's why they built the wall. I think that's why they built the great wall. To jump the wall. Exactly. They just climb on that wall.

That's the way, that's the threat. And that's why America started the spice race. Yeah. Because you can see their they're monitoring they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they built. They're they built. They're they built. They're they built. They built they've they've they've they've they've they've built they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they're they're they're they're they're they're built. They're built. They're built. They're built. They're built. They're built. They're built. They're built. They're built. They're built. They're built. They're built. they're built. they're built. They're built. They're built. They're they're they about to jump. This is Houston. Are they wearing them? We just need to confirm their Chinese? Are they wearing those conical hats and look a bit like a lamb-shaped? Yes, they are. They are. They are. If I was the leader of China, what is it? If I was the leader of China, what is it? If I was the leader of China, what is the name? What is? If the the king? If the the the king? If the the the the ch? If the the ch? If the ch? If the the ch? If the ch? If the ch? If the cha? If they? If they? If they? If they are they are they are they are they are? Are they are? Are they are? Are they are? Are they are? Are they are? Are they are? Are they are? Are they are? Are they are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are? Are the the they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are they? Are? Are theyeducated are we? Is it the king of China? Is it? Is the king of China? Is it? What is it? Is Chairman Mao? Is he still there? Is he still there? It's Chairman? Someone? Someone else probably? Or chairwoman? Or cha-chai-chai-cannin-chai-cccerns? Yeah? Or, I don't know. I said, you know when I said, a billion-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-a-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still the-s the the thianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianianian-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s the-s the-s the-s tho-s there-cou-c'-c'-c'-c'-c'-c'-c'-c'-c'-c'-c'-c'-c'-c'-s th say half of the women. Yeah. Well of course, yeah. Yeah. Well I meant I meant little lesbian fellas or little gay fellers. I mean I wasn't I wasn't being sexist. I'm just saying there's probably a hundred million little gay Chinese people.

What worries me Rick is if I was the premier of China or if it was some of the people I went to school with. I was the king of China. I was the king. I. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the king of China. I was the king of China, right? Isn't he the king of China and I? Or is that he somewhere else, isn't it? I don't know. That's Siam, isn't it? Is that not in China? We're not? Where's Siaim then? It's a salon now, isn't it? I don't know? Or is that? Someone educating listening must be tearing their hair out? I don't. Sotomay. If If Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Someone? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is. Is. Is? Is? Is? Is. Is. Is. Is. Is? Is, the. Is. Is, the. Someone? Is. Someone? Is. Someone? Is. Someone? Is. the. the? Is? Is. the. the room. If I was the king in China, let's assume is the king in China. Okay, yeah, you'd be tall. But you know when you sometimes you've had a few drinks, whatever, you know, I mean I'm sure you've done that thing where you order a pizza for someone, you know, you know a mate or whatever or send a tax you around to their eyes, someone like that. Yeah, thiii's 'll be brilliant. Send some knives and forks, because I am fed up with these sticks. It's ridiculous. I don't know why we're still sticking with one. I can't pick up the tiniest little bit of chicken. It's crazy.

It's rubbish. Send us some cut away. I'm having a nightmare to eat. 4.9 racist FN. Absolutely. Jeremy Louis. Should be a prize for that? Not at all, no. It's all right, no. That was his follow-up to You'll always find me in the kitchen at parties. Yeah, my favourite lyrics. She was into French cuisine but I ain't no cold on blurt.

I'm blurted. Brilliant. Yeah, looking for it to play was standing the call and the ball came across. What was the other one he did? I don't know. We're not as old as you. Oh no. This is all gobbled to us. XFM, I know 4.9. That's Jonah Louis. Yeah, you're not listening to classic gold. Amazingly.

I've still got my own teeth. I, uh, I think, Rick, I was was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was the, I was the, I was the, I was the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I, to. I, to. I, to. I. I, to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, to. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It, to. It, to. It, to. It, to. It, to. It, to. It, to. It. It's, to. It's, to. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It's all. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to.. What you mean you bought something for four pounds then sort of four pound three pounds 90 as you walked out would maybe because I've seen you really livid. I'm absolutely furious when I bought my PlayStation I saw I could get it for a five or cheaper down the road I was absolutely. And you'd already walked to about 19 places I remember I actually left you after about an hour. Yeah I'm furious because I got to a bargain I'm to get a bargain I I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm to you I'm the to you I'm to the to the the the to the to the the the the to the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their I'm their I'm their I'm their I'm their I'm their I'm their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the I was I'm the I'm the I'm to get a bargain I hate think feeling that I'm being ripped off yeah and I'll tell you this I'm loving online shopping oh the savings I'm making Rick really crazy really really really these things but these things I might point out I like Jaguars and hmmm Mitsubishi cards yeah but it's worth shopping round now this was not

such a con this well it was a comedy it wasn't so much one of those just a missed bargain yeah doorbell rings answer it there's a couple of girls they must have been 13 or 14 maybe now I've always had a problem with teenagers I'm intimidated by teenagers in case they call you a dog well I mean I told you to before I was walking down the street once and as I told you guys coming to they I mean real losers I had to to to to the to to the to the to the to to the the the the to the the the told the the the the the the the the the the th I was th I was th I was th I was th I was th I was th I was th I was tho thi th. th. I was th. I was th. I was th. th. I was th. th. th. I was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was a th. I was a thin is a thin is a the. I was a the. I was a thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown throwne. I was a throwne. I was a thrown th spots, greasy hair, doing really pathetic. And I was sniggering to myself, I was thinking, look at those losers. And as I passed them, I heard one of them, look at me and say to his mate, look at that geek. I was furious. I was furious, I was furious, I was furious, I was thii had a piece of A4 paper and they went, were doing sponsored thing. But I didn't quite catch what it was they were doing that was sponsored, I think they sort

of fudged they were doing a sponsor and I think they were doing a sponsor and I think, oh yeah, and I sort of, I was a bit, I didn't know why I was worried maybe they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were, I was sort, and I was sort, and I was sort, and I was sort, and I was sort, and I was sort, and I was sort, and I was sort, and I went, and I went, and I went, and I went, and I went, and I went, and I th. And they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was sort, and I was sort, and I was sort, and I was sort, I was sort, I was sort, I was sort, I was sort, I was sort, I was sort, I was sort, I was sort, I was sort, I was sort, I was a th. was a th. th. I was a th. th. th. thi, I was a thi thin, I was a th. th. th. tho, tho, thi thin, they were, they were, they were, I they were, I was a they were, I was a thi, I was a bit into it. I didn't know. I don't know why I said no. I was worried maybe it was part of some kind of hidden camera show. Yeah. And so I say yeah, all right, I'll sponsor you. So they handed me this form. And I think I always thought you were supposed to have quite an official looking form for any sponsorship thing. But this was literally a piece of A4 torn out of a note. The back of the back. It was back back back back back back back. Exactly. And I looked at it and I looked at it and I didn't really absorb it but it had things like you know Mrs Jones, Mrs Smith, you know five quid and then no one's actual address just Finchley Road you know nothing too specific. So I wrote my name on and put down three quid because a lot of people give them fiveers but I thought you

I'm not made a money it's Christmas and not my gifts and stuff. Gave the fiver and I said I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm I'm I'm I'm th. I'm th. I gave I gave I gave I gave I gave it th. I gave it th. I'm th. I gave it th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I th. I th but I thought you know I'm not made a money it's Christmas and stuff. I gave them a fiver and asked for change. Yeah well I gave them three quid I said I'll get sponsored for three quid best of luck and they went can we have the money and I said well aren't you supposed to do the thing she and they and the woman just looked the girl just looked to me she just went no to the charity the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. so so so so so so I I I I I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they assuming though that it's not going to any charity, it's no sponsor thing at all. I'm not being funny, the charity that it's not going to, you wouldn't have given to it any one. It's true enough. So all it's happened is you're creepy down. But I'm three quid down. Yeah, but if it would just gone to a couple of weeks off the street, you know, we're scamming people, possibly old people, Rick, and that's who I feel sorry for.

They've not got a great little money. That's why I'm not worried about myself, I got a bit of cash, but about the old people. Yeah, although you are three good down which probably still hurts. They're still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still. That's, that's, that's, that's still still still still still still still still still still still still still still. That's, that's that's that's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's, that's thi. That's thi, possibly, possibly, possibly, possibly, that's thi, possibly, possibly, possibly, possibly, and thi, possibly, possibly, and thi, and thi, possibly, and thi, possibly, and thi, and thi, possibly, and thi, possibly, possibly, and th. That's, possibly, and th. That's, possibly, I, possibly, I, possibly, possibly, I, possibly, I, possibly, I, possibly, possibly, I, possibly, possibly, I, possibly, I, possibly, I, possibly, I's th. I's thi, possibly, possibly, I's thi. P. P. P, possibly, I's that's that's thi. P, possibly, I's thi, possibly, I's two girls that are going around. I expect, you know, they might come to your door. But they might be genuine. I don't think so. No. They were common. They were very common. Do you know what I mean? Was it was the giveaway things like, you know, Santa Claus had given 10 pounds? to Tony Blair had given a quick. Yeah, I know what you mean. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're might might might might might they're might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might they're. they're. they're. they were. they were. they were. they were. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're. they. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're they're they're th. th. th. they're the th. th. they're th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. I. I. I. Yeah, I know what you mean, yeah, I think you were conned, mate. Right, won't get pulled again by the who. I'm going to ask your expert opinion. Is that not one of the greatest rock songs all time? Yeah, if you'd have played the proper version of it. I know, but it's six and a half minutes and we usually do, but we just thought, you know, it's Christmas, people want to, you know, I'm, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, won, won, won, won, won, won, won. I. I. I, won. I, won, won. I. I, won, won. I. I, won, won, won, won, won, won....... I, won, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their.. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the, won't, won't, won't, won't, won't, won't, won't, won't, won't, won't, won't, won't, won't, won't, won't, won't, but we could have played like the full eight minutes rather than making the show

sound like strolling around to your local Azda with the Christmas songs with a little bit more racism. That to me, it sounds like fighting talk. You want to rock challenge, Camfield. You can't handle the truth. I'm gonna, I'm gonna rock this out the monolith. I was going to ask you, he's my favourite drummer of all time. Will you go along with that? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So we've got Lemme and Keith Moon. Are we making up a kind of super rock band here? Oh, we could do. We could make a super band. No, we could make it a super band. No, that's far too stand astride it like the metal angel of death. Now Ian you've because you've you've hung out with some of the big rock names haven't you?

Yeah. Guys I'm not going anywhere with this I'm just I'm intrigued to tell me some of the people you've you've hung up with you you've hung up with maiden have you. I've been flying with Bruce Dickinson. Yeah yeah yeah and if you I took took you you you you you to you you you you you you to you you you you to you you you you th you've they you've th you've to th th you've they to to to to to to to to their their their their to to their you've to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thou thi thi thooooooooooooooooooooo' the the the thooooooo' the the rock and roll excess lifestyle? Are you kind of drinking drugs? Is that your thing? I like to be kind of you know on the age having a look at what's going on inside. Right. I don't quite know what that means. It's the way they talk Steve. I mean you know because I mean some of those rockers are hard living boys can you keep up with the morning do you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. the the the the their. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You know. You know. You. I the the to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I try. I try. I try. I try. I four in the morning? Yeah. Four in which morning? Hey Daddy-o man! We're going out about four in the morning. Kyle reckons a gaze guard late. Yeah, his favorite song is the killing of Georgie, right? And he went, yeah, but would it have happened if he'd have been, you know, going out a bit earlier? Yeah, well no, no. Well, no, he that's on time specific then? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. voice. Is that sometime specific then? No, no, but he reckons he probably got over because he was out late. Oh, I

okay. He said there's one that works here, sometimes he doesn't go out to midnight. But you know, I imagine you a little bit like that little boy in the film almost famous when you're on tour with the Rock Legends, do you know, you know, the little kid there, maybe maybe, maybe, you, you're they, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, there, they, there, they, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, they. is, there's they. There's there's there's they's th. There's there's th. There's there's there's the, is, is there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there, you know, the little kid there, maybe the doors have been closed in your face, are they as they go busy? Yeah, yeah, when I started, yeah, okay, but now, you know, I inter, I inter, yeah, I inter, I'm sorry, you know, access all the area's laments, you know, I mean, I can enter venues, now, you know, I mean, I can't see, theyrown.......... Yeah, the, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I see. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I see. I see. I see. I see. Yeah. I see. I see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I see. Yeah, I see, I see, I see.there, are these rockers clean living now? Depends what you're talking about. Sure. Is there anything going on like the days of, you know, Ozzy and Mopney crew? I haven't seen, well I haven't seen any red snappers like with Jimmy Pache?

Do you know that story of mine? I can't talk about this. The fish? Is it disgusting? Well, is it where is it, what is the tha tha? Is it, tha? Is it, tha? Is it, tha? Is it, thi? Is it, thi? Is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is that, is that? Is that? Is that? Is that, is that? Is thathing? Is thathing? Is thathing? Is thathing? Is thathing? Is thathing? Is that? Is that? Is that, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is th. Is th. Is thi? Is thi? Is it, is the, is they? Is it, is it, is it, is it But is it worse talking about B-Day's and Ricky's Farts? Kind of. Right, okay. Yeah. Yeah. And you wouldn't want the instruction manuals to what happened with the Red Snapper, like you do with the B-Day. Sure, sure, sure. But don't, as I said, don't name names. Obviously, you know, as, confidentiality or whatever that you... Yeah, well I saw, I saw a... We know there's no one listening.

It won't go further than this studio. I saw a member of a very big band, play the Astoria recently, and they turned up with the Astoria about 15 minutes before they were going on stage, right? And someone said to them, is it good to be playing the Astoria, to which to which to which to which which to which which which to which which which which to which which to which to which which to which which to which which which which which which to which which to which which to which to which to them, is it good to be playing the historian to which he turned around and went, uh, oh right, are we in London? Really? Oh, oh, oh, that's not a very big huge band, is it? No, no, big, oh, oh, no, big than that. Yeah, big than that. Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. Uh, what other rock and roll access do you want? I was told once that if you stay up th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, are that, are that, are that, are that, are that, are that, are that, are that, are that, are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th th th th th th. Are th th th. Are we we we that, are that, are that, are that, are we that, are we that, are we that, are we that, are we that, are we that, are that, are we that, are that, are we that, are that, are we that, are that, are than that. Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. Uh, what other rock and roll excess do you want? Oh, I was told once that if you stay up for two days, the best thing to do is eat some yogurt. This is just like, we're going to have in tips now now. Sure. Yeah, you know. So if that's apparently the best thing a bender in China, because otherwise you'll be screwed.

No, there's no vendors in China. There's no, there's no, I didn't. Yeah. Another tune I enjoyed this year Rick, I don't know what your thorough saw on it. I'm fascinated to find out. Jay-Z and Farrell and Frantin. What do you think, uh, Carn't, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thag, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thin, thu, thin, th, th, thin, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th's, th's, than, than, than, there's, there's, th's, there's, there's, and, there's, and, th's, and, there's, and, there's there's thou-a. There's there's there they cheated, didn't they? Because they went and they're signing a HMV yesterday, so they said, getting like an hour of extra, extra sales. Why was that theytea?

Well, you know, I don't know, well I suppose Gary Jaws could have turned up a virgin down the road, couldn't they? Yeah. OK, well, in then, in that case, in that case, in that case, in that case, in that case, in that case, that case, th. least it's it's potentially a sort of evergreen sort of Slade type classic and they are the biggest sort of band around at the moment. Careful with what are your thoughts? You love rock? What do you make of the darkness? It's all right. Been around for a while now. Sure. Another year maybe. But they're all the ingredients of everything you like I'm as they've got a bit of a bit of Queen they got a bit of ACDC. It's all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. they're they. they're they're they're they're they. they their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th to th to th th th tho. thoo. the. their th thea. their their their their their their their their've got a bit of Bruce Forsyth. I mean, it's funny. They're a good fun band, aren't they?

Yeah, they're essentially just too close to novelty. But then so was Slade in a way. Slade have only got this credibility resurgence in retrospect. At the time they were a pop band that essentially worked for teenagers and fugs. I'm watching Campbell's going to be championing Slead though up there in the same way that you champions the meaden. But you've got to appreciate what Holders done, surely. Yeah, I appreciate what Holder's done. But only it became cool, don't they when they're when the aces covered they're today though? Yeah, I mean, I genuinely always like Slade. Slike. Slike. Ssla. Ssla. Ssla. Ssla. S sla. S sla. S-a. S-I's the dark. S-I's the dark. S-a' the dark. tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' is tha' is tho' is tho' is tha'a'a' is tho' is tho' is tho' is tho'er' is th'er'er'eroya' is tho'eroya'eroya' is tho'er's tho'er's tho'er's tho'er's tho'er's tho'er's tho'er's tha'eru'eru'eru' is tha'eru' is tha' is tha' is tha'eru' is tha'er's tha'er's to'er's done to'er's done to'er's done toda'er's done toda'er's done today's done today's done tho'er's done today's't responsible for the kids of today though, because the amount of spelling mistakes the Slade were responsible for at school in the

70s was in the Z's in. Rubbish. Um, Ian, I'm going to have to ask you for our third pillar of rock before the ad break. Right, what we need, um, have we got, should maybe put in Keith Richards. I'm a little bit worried about the health scare because the kind of air pollution around any venue that this band might play with like Lemming and Keith Richards there. You know. I'm surprised of Keith Richard because I would have thought it was heavy enough for you, but the stones have done enough to get in the animals of rock. Okay, let's play some quest a question. Do you actually speak like this, this the This is your real voice. This is your real voice.

Yeah. It's amazing. Do your daytime sort of voice, the exlist voice. Say it's fast. It's just coming up to 20 past 2 on XFM 104.9. After the break, we've got feeder. Say that. It's just coming up to 20 fast 2 on XFM th-1, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, th.X, their, their, their, thi. thi. thi. thoooooooo. thoooo. tha. thooo. thoo. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tha. to 20 fast two on XFM 104.9, these are the ads. What? Ex-F-F-F-I-T-F-T, don't know that song is.

Don't know the Bells-Ed, it could sound like he's saying someone to do with Belend. Well, yeah. What? Heaven forbid? What? You think he meant that? Did he? Uh-huh? That's the darkness. XFM 104.9. What other rude words are they? Cock? Yeah. Especially at Christmas. Especially at Christmas. Is it time for families?

Oh no, now listen, time for family. Now Ian. Yes. Who is your fourth? We need to lead singer in this mega group, the monolist of rock? Uh, who we got, lemmy, we've got, Keith Richards on guitar, we've got Lemme on the tons. Right. There's the terminology coming out there.

Yeah. Who's doing the Vox? Uh, who's given Golden Tonsville's award? Robert Plant. He's gone for Plant. Yeah, he's gone for Plant. A lot of tri-of names though. There is the group. The lineup is Moon Lemmey, Richard, Plant.

Okay. Now, our competition, Steve, name that group. What's the best, the best heaviest rock name ever? Sure. This is obviously not a name that already exists. No. Okay. My mate and I came up with, I think it was a brain hammer, which I like.

Velvet Nazi, 666. Sure. So we want the heav heaviest most mental piece of death metal head banging bleeding out your brains rock axe attack please welcome to the stage Christ on a bike please welcome to the stage oh look at you oh look at you that would be great yeah yeah That would freak out on that list. Yeah, yeah. Cheeky?

Oh, now listen, they need a manager. They need someone who could introduce and they need someone to stand astride them. Who is the leader now? Who is the king of all that rocks? Well, it's obviously Tommy Vance isn't it? You know what worries me Rick? We've said Vance a lot today. I'm wondering if the kids today, do they know Tommy Vance? Are they feeling that he's their kids today? What do you think that is their manager?

So, Vance is their manager. They're on at Wembley. They've got they. They've got they. They've got. They're they. They're they. They're they. They're they. They're they. They're their. They're they. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They. They. They. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They. They're. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're they. They're they. They're the. They're they're the. They're the the the the the they're the the they're the they're the they're the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the the their. They're the the're the greatest rock bandable time. We need the name. Please, please welcome to the stage. What are they called? Email in and the prize we're going to get some... We'll rummage through the bins as Carl. We'll get some VHS, some CDs, some CDs, greatest air guitar ever. What's the... Do we need to hear about the numbers and stuff? Don't get the phone you don't want to talk to me in Carl me me me me me me me me, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. tho, tholologe, thola, tho. P. We're, they're, their, their, their, their, you don't want to talk to him, seriously. You know, you know, you know when, what's his name says to Agent Starling as she's going to meet Hannibal, don't let him inside your head. Don't talk to the listeners, Ian. Please don't let it. I'm a bit of a concern that my email is going to be besieged by people to the thinks. to to to to thinininininininin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, what thi. thi. throw, what thi. thi. the their, what their, what their, what their, what their, what their, what thu, what thi, what thi, what thi, what thin, what thin, what thin, what their, what their, what their, what their, what their, what their, what their, what their, what their, what thin. What, what thin. What, what thin. What, what thin, what thrown. What's, what's, what's their, what's their, what's their, what's their, what's their, what's their, what's their, what's their. What's their, what's their, what's their, what's the way. But what's the most the most mental head bleeding banging brainhammer operation this band can be called? Call in. Rick because I've always it always amuses me if you I mean I know it's cruel to put

you on the spot but so some of your former band names I've always amused me. Well the worst one. Well the worst one. Ricky's had a number of bands over the years. What was the... The worst one? Are the worst? Get ready to play that record because I don't want to, I don't want any aftermath. Before you tell me, what was the one, because these pictures of you like when you're romantic keep on being published?

That was Sean a dancing. Yeah, but someone...ried to be Bon Jovi. Can you imagine such a thing? I know it. I know the name you're thinking of. Right, here we go. Play the record. Immediately I say this. Ready? The Sacred Heart. Play a record. Blah on XFM 104. I forget the name of that track, but it's good.

Good song. Oh, song. Oh right. I just thought you were coming in his opinion. Right, go on. Do what? Are we still on the air? Yeah.

What are we doing? Very Christmas. We got someone on the line. Oh right, right. Who's that? Yeah, go on. It's Jonathan, how are you? Good. It's only tee, it's Jonathan Ross. Turn your radio down, you idiot. I'm here. I like to, uh, I haven't got a radio on what you're talking about?

We can hear their feedback. Well, I haven't got it, it's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's your fault. You know that for what? I know you're special. Right. What have you got a name for the band? Yeah, you ready? Yeah. Blump. Blump. I tell you for what, you can't have a normal word. If it's the monolith band of all time, if it's the... you can't have a regular word. All these ideas you've come up with a rubbish. You need a word which only stands for that one thing. No one dirty before. No one we'll th is is is is is is is is is is is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I' th. I'll thi. I th. I'll th. I'll the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll th. I'll te. I'll tell. I'll tell. I'll tell. I'll tell. I'll tell. tell. tell. I'll tell. I can't have but Phil that that's a more appropriate name for maybe one of Wiki's bands. I've been, I love seeing that picture of him in that band, you see everywhere these days. He was like a girl, he was like a little girl in a suit. It's like a girl, a little dike at a wedding. What was that? It's got to be the cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat the cat the cat that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that th. I th. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll theat. I'll th. I'll theat. I'll theat. I'll that's not that's a that's a that'll that'll that's a that's a that's a that's a that? It's got to be the kettle calling the pop black children.

I've always got nothing but 100% heterosexual. You, we're not sure about. There's not anything wrong with it. I know that, but look at you. Why, if you had to get that in, there's not anything wrong with it. I'm driving Ross. Oh dear. Oh dear. I was thinking the other day, right. The comedy awards. You didn't have say say the comedy, I have the comedy, I have the comedy, I have the comedy, I have the comedy, I have the comedy, I have the comedy, I have the comedy, I have the comedy, I have the comedy, I have the comedy, I have the comedy, I have the comedy, I have the comedy, I've the comedy, I've the comedy, I was the comedy, I was the comedy, I was the comedy, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was the comedy, I was the comedy, I was the comedy, I was the comedy, I was the comedy, I was the comedy, I was the comedy, I the comedy, I the comedy, I the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy, the comedy awards. The comedy awards. The comedy awards. The comedy awards. The comedy awards. The comedy awards. The comedy awards. The comedy awards. The comedy awards. The comedy awards. The comedy awards. The comedy awards. The comedy awards. There the comedy awards. There the comedy awards. There are the comedy awards. There are the comedy awards. The comedy awards. The comedy awards, the comedy awards, the comedy awards. Yes sir. You didn't have to say some awful things about poor, poor celebrities. Poor has been celebrities with coke addictions and fat lips and faces that are about, where surgery's gone wrong and everything. You, and then when they're on the show, they're going, oh, you look lovely.

I'm nice for them to their face, but obviously when I'm not with them, I like to let my true feelings be no. What's wrong with that? That's on everyone. I tell you what, you can get anything off your chest you want on this show, any celebrities you want to talk about? There's no one listening? Yeah, it's just between me and you and a lot people listen to me. A lot people listen. A lot of they've they've have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they're thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they they they they thi. thi. thathea. they that that that. What th what that. What th what th what th what thi. What th what th. What th. What th. What th what th. What th. What th. You can th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What they can they can that they can get they can get that that that they can they can that they can get that that that that that that that that that that that that over we know this happens. Did you mention my DVD on your radio show? You know what I forgot to I forgot to I forgot about the office but I forgot to mention it and then I thought afterwards it's not like he needs the cash is it you know it's not like he needs it it's not like he's but he's probably earned more money in a short space you're like a lottery and you're like a lottery and you got as much you're like one of the that one that that that that the that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to mention I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to to to to to to the the the the the th I the th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th is I th is I'm th. th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm th. th. the. th. I'm treslaken and I'm buying the window cleaner at the moment. A Gorgrafum Redding who won the lottery and now what, what, he's fritting it away and what, I do feel sorry that my neighbours, I've moved into a really nice place.

I feel like it's the hillbillies. No, it's nice, she's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. It's ga nice. It's ga' ga' ga' giving their now, I'm going home to play Mario Double-Dash with my son. It's going to be a good afternoon. I phoned you once after I finished my show. It's about five minutes fast three. Uh, and I don't mind if you, you know, I said, how you're doing, you went, it's brilliant. He said, you said, you said, this is what you said, you went, everyone's out, Jane's, everyone, don't take the kids out, I've already masturbated twice and I'm playing with a new Japanese toy. I'm uh, I'm masturbating now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Play the record!

X-fla! Who? Uh, yeah, King's a Leon, wasted time on XFN 104. Sorry, I was a sidetracked there by some of the band want to win that pile of tatt out there I've got two names here okay we should just remind people in case they've just tuned in oh yeah Ian Canfield has chosen his a mega band of all time he's got Keith Moon-One drums he's got Lemmey on bass he's got Keith Richard on guitar he's got um who have you got singing well a plant plant and their manager their manager is Vance a plants and I they I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I they they they they're they're they're their they're their they're their their they're their their their their they're their they're their their they're they're their th. to to to to to to to to they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they they're they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their to too to to to to their to to to their to their to their their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're their manager is Vance, but he needs to announce them at Wembley Arena. They're already sold out, they're at number one in the album charts, the greatest rock band of all time.

And I've got two suggestions. What about this? Please welcome to the stage. Tungsten Lung Henridge. Yeah, good. Yeah. Please welcome to the Almighty Creator and a Dildo. Nice to see some contrasting imagery there.

Powerful and top of it. Tonguespin lung hemorrhage. We've had a couple also on the email. People didn't really include their names, but who cares? Please welcome to the stage. Balls of steel. Balls of steel. And we've had like brain hammer. Brain hammer. tham like in the the the the idea. the idea. the idea. the idea. the idea. the idea. the idea. the idea. the idea. the idea. the idea. the the the thine. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiolea. thiolea. thiol-a. thi. thiolomea. th. th. th. together. together. tool. tool. tool. tool. tool. tonge. tonge. tonge. tape. tape. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. t. Yeah. Yeah. tine. Yeah. Yeah. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. toolea. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. Wea. tongua. Wea. related stuff. Quite liking the idea of tumor fish. Chuma fish I like. Tumor fish is really good. I like Jum. I just wonder if there's one more contender.

I don't know who this was, I don't know who that was. Deathly hem. Deathly hem. Deathly hem. De-doh. Please welcome to the stage. Deathly HEM. Who's that? We've got to give it to... I don't know who that was. Oh, well if you came up with Deathly HEM, E-mail again. Deathly HEM. It's the greatest name for the greatest rock band of all time. Will you please welcome to the stage, Deathly HEM. It's Golden Tonsils. I went to, I was going to go see him once at once once once once once once once once once once once once at once once once at at at at at to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, I, I was to, the the the the the the the their, their, th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the once at the camera in the world about a year ago and they had this sign up right saying that Graham Bonnet who sung that song had cancelled

right and it said God willing he'll be performing tomorrow and just in case you thought he cancelled because maybe no one bought any tickets the doctor's certificate was beneath the cancellation. Brilliant. Well we've sung that a couple of times drunk, haven't we in? But yeah, we have done it is the best uh-huh. Yeah, it is. Ben one, Ben is won whatever you're giving away. Yeah, Deathly Hemp. Yeah, Deathly. I mean, if you are in a rock band, you're looking for a name and you think you deserve that name, then you know, right to us. we want to know that that that that that that that that that to know that to know that to know that to know that to know that that to know that to know that the the the the the to know the the they they to know they. to know th. C. C. they. theymea' th. Yeah, th. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. they. they. Ben, they. Ben, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Ben, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, te, te. Ben, te, te, te.e, the, the, the, the, the, that name, then you know, write to us. We want to know that you're really heavy and we, and A and Canford would officially hand over the deeds of the name Bethlehem.

Deathlyhem? Deathly Hem, yeah. Deathly Hym, yeah. They only play at Christmas, you only play like big venues at Christmas and it's all things about like good versus evil. Yeah, Deathlyhem on XFM, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, and tho, and tho, and th, and tham, and tham, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and I and I and, and I and I and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and th and, and th. And, and, and I and, and I and I and, and I and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, I and, I and, I and, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha.a.a, tha.a, tha.a, anda, and, like that. Yeah. Deathly Hem on XFM, 104.9. Perhaps that the debut should certainly be a concept album based on a nativity play. Yeah. Brilliant. It's the whole kind of Old Testament in kind of rock form. Yeah. With like, we're extraordinary. It is the battle for humanity. Yeah. It's called, um, humanity, mannity. And it's a fight in the ocean of hell. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It. It. It. It's, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. thatee and it's a fight in the ocean of hell.

Yes. Sure. Yeah. I'd like to see a serpent maybe pictured somewhere. Track four. Track four. Yeah. I think we should give massive props and suitable regards to him. He's come in, he's pressed the buttons. He stood in for an idiot. Brilliantly. He has stood in for a retired ball. It's a shame that he's not, you've not displayed some of the usual incompetence that we've come to love and expect from Carl, it's a shame. Okay, well, okay. If you are the greatest DJ in the world though, the way you sort of like press buttons. But you know, every the time th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the the th. the the th. the the the the to th. th. that. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's is not. It's great DJ. It's great. It's just brilliant. I mean we're lucky if we can talk with the mic on. That's the title not talk over a record. Today we did some great links during the ads. And of course Jonathan Ross masturbating

on air. Just looking back at some of the highlights. You don Smithfield. You don't get that on Capitol Gold, do you? Like Tony Blackburn getting a call from Fluff-Rema going, all right, mate, I'm knocking well out. Yeah. Well, have a lovely Christmas. Have a bloody great Christmas. I have a bloody great Christmas. It's the year.

I'm looking forward to seeing Pilkers 10 and pictures from his holiday. Covered in ash from the beach. And we're back on the third, I believe. But Ian, do you want to introduce it? This is Ian's choice for the day. Yeah. We'll see you next week in spirit and then we're back back back back back back back back back, Pilkers. Over to you, Kampf. Enough of Joan of Louis. This is Paul Diano, Ex-Varayer Maiden doing Santa Claus coming to town.