The Roundtable of Gentlemen - Episode 332: The Goose and The Snake

Episode Date: June 16, 2017

The gang learns about a couple who met and joined the public mile high club on the same flight, gripe about Feetmageddon 2017, and try to save Jackie from a wedding expo.

The round table. Gentlemen, let's broaden our minds. Lay down, gentlemen, and let them go watch what? Fire at will. It's time for action, gentlemen. Gentlemen, what's the topic of discussion? Civility, gentlemen. Always civility. Uh-oh.

The thing is that with the Skeleton Crew, we have to all participate. You ever seen the Stephen King movie, Skeleton Crew? Or the book? Thinner. Thinner? The Stand. Isn't Skeleton Crew a Stephen King short story book? Sure, the Skeleton Key.

No, that's with King. Right. That's about Louisiana. Skeleton King is the man that visits me in my dreams. Skeleton Key was actually very good. What was that about? It was about in the bayous and the voodoo and hoodoo. Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah. I don't know if it was actually good, but I've seen it many times. Okay. Voodoo's scary. That's Skeleton Crew, a short story collection by Stephen King. Welcome to the Roundtable of Gentlemen, everybody. There you go. Skeleton Crew, Roundtable of Gentlemen. Welcome to the round table of gentlemen everybody. Skeleton crew round table of gentlemen.

No host. We go postal. Postal. A video game series where you can do evil things to people. I don't like that one. I loved it so much I played it a lot. I just got gifted postal too. Boring. This is not a video game. Wizard and the Bruiser section. Well look it always goes back

and forth. There's last podcast left. There's Wizard and the Bruiser, and there's Page 7. And when it's the skeleton crew, we each have a little taste of each. And that's what everyone gets from us for the thing to play. What is your... I just said

nop, and so that means no. Jackie Zebrowski, you are one of a kind. What is your name, and what is your introduction? What do you mean? Jackie Zebrowski, you are one of a kind. What is your name and what is your introduction? What do you mean? Jackie Zebrowski. I, um, rode on a boat today.

It's true, though. Was it a nice boat? It was a fine boat, yes. It's funny to me thinking of you on a boat. I don't know why. I had a great time on a boat. I'm dressed like a gothic genie today. That's what I was going for. Were you sad when they didn't have ritas oh they had things oh they had libations upon the boat what not what i was partaking in but i watched many a person partake what were you doing on a boat i was going to the beach took a boat to the beach today guys i took a boat to dr beach and dr beach wrote me a prescription and he said you

little i won't say the word you better slut i can't even say it and he said that you you know it's time for you to get some salt and get some sun dog yeah dog you know he said called me a dog okay and i was so upset about it that i didn't want to repeat it. And thank you for bringing it up. I'm glad I guessed that right. I was going to say cat. Thank you. Although it would be cool cat if he was calling me that. I've had a doctor go like, hold on, McNeely, you little.

Cle, cle, cle, cle. You have AIDS. Do you still have AIDS? No. He was a quack. He was actually a duck. He was a quack. Right? Bad joke? Okay. I'm running on fumes right now. Oh. He was a quack. He was actually a duck. He was a quack.

Right? Bad joke? Okay. I'm running on fumes right now. Oh. Running on FD. Running on. Running on.

Holdenators, ho! We got plenty of time today. It's a skeleton crew. What's the limit, Marcus? What's the limit, Marcus? How many do I get? You get one more than usual. Tom King says, Holdenators, ho!

Please can I get a shout out for my bestest cocaine-fueled friend, Badgie, and her furry friend, Reggie. We love your shit and all the fucks at CCR. Please can Jackie give Tori a half-breed? Half-breed! And lots of love as S-A-O-H-A makes us feel normal. What's S-A-O-H-A Makes us feel normal What's S-A-O-H-A?

Thank you so much Holden It's one of my other podcasts With Marcus Clark Called Sex and the Human Activity That's a bit of a fucking acronym That's a bit of a fucking much I would just say sex and other I would just say human act.

What would you say? What is your shortened version? See, that's the problem. There is no shortened version. It's a big problem. Especially when scheduling because you have to keep saying it over and over. Sex of the human activity.

I would say Serapin and Casa. Yeah, I do. Alright, there you go. All right. There you go. She's not in the room. You can blame her. Fair enough. It makes us all feel normal. S-A-O-H-A, that is.

Thank you. See, that's just a hard even initials to say. S-A-O-H-A. It's a lot. It's a mouthful. And congrats, Holden, and good luck with the campaign, Kissel. More Hong Kong Henry, please. Also, the devil belongs to me. Hell yeah. Thank you so much. a mouthful and congrats holden and good luck with the campaign kissel more hong kong henry please also the devil belongs to me hell yeah thank you so much oh that was nice poncho 993 says

just say bitch but hold the eye for like eight seconds jackie archangel jl oh if you get Ben to add The phrase titty sprinkles Three times naturally I will give $50 to Laps Podcast Patreon And $50 PSN card To the round table FB Balls and Yo Court

Well we don't have Ben here today But you know what We don't need your fucking money Hell yeah Cultist says You know what? We don't need your fucking money. Hell yeah. Cultist says You know what I'm saying? We don't bargain. Cultist. Dearest Holden, I hope this

finds you well. Please tell the Roundtable gang they are absolutely swell. Marcus in particular. Alright, we have to play favorites, Cultist. I have an autographed Sasquatch book to send him. Tell Jackie that when she yells she sounds like Henry and that's disconcerting. I like it, and I take it. Do I get his money?

Tell Ed $50 from Coltus. Tell Ed if he makes me ashamed to also be a Larson. Oh, okay, he's also a Larson. And Coltus Larson, that's a fun name. And please tell Ben that he's fantastic, but his support for that top hat wannabe Heathcliff is going to sink his political career. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

By the way, that's my new tagline on Twitch. Unbelievable. That's my new tagline. Hashtag BK4BK. That is the worst thing you've ever come up with. Yes. It just happened naturally because of how many times I kept getting killed in the game. I just kept going unbelievable.

And then people just started putting it in chat. There you go. because of how many times I kept getting killed in the game. I just kept going, unbelievable. And then people just started putting it in chat. You know? There you go. So it's all hoes and unbelievables. And I also do polls sometimes. If I want to ban somebody, I go, give me a hoe. If you don't want him to get banned, give me an unbelievable. If you'd like him to be banned.

They usually say hoe. One, two, three, four, five. Quickie, the squeaker 08 says you suck anal gland shout out please dayman666 says oh are pearson shout outs still a thing yes they are dayman666 please i'm sure you wrote me this four months ago but thank you love the round table love the stream keep up the good work also jackie marry me yes okay you just said yes to me, though. You didn't say yes to him. Yes to him. You're going to a bridal expo soon. Let's talk about that.

Oh, God. Snow Road 666. I guess he has two tags. And that was six. My word? Six, six. You're welcome for your PlayStation Network shoutouts. You're welcome.

Shoutouts. I'm getting married. You are getting married To That person The bridal shower Oh to the bridal shower Yeah I gotta go to a bridal expo

Yeah so he's She's going to a bridal expo Now I worked one of these Oh my god What a taboo And it's in the purse On the table Far behind you

It's me Oh my god This is a fucking Amateur moment From Jackie Zabrowski Oh is it your agent? Is it your agent? Whatever happens I'm sorry Who was it? Was it your mother? is it your agent? Is it your agent? Who was it? Was it your mother?

Was it your mother? Was it your mom? Was it an agent? It was my bestie. It was Madeline. I apologize. I'm very embarrassed. Madeline, who is single and ready for love. Hell yeah. You can marry her if you want.

She likes mean men. And soft in the middle. So actually, that's really easy to find. Yeah, it's pretty easy to find. There you go. So if you're a mean man, just P.O. Box Creek in the Cave, Long Island City, 48522. Write in with your love request, and you might get a date with a woman you've never met before and will never see.

So there you go. She dresses like a ghost in blind dates. So she puts a full white sheet over her head and people go, oh, KKK, KKK. But it's not KKK, it's a ghost. Unbelievable. It's like people are just so quick to judge.

Yeah, they put a baby in a Corner yeah I was screaming fuck at A guy yesterday and he was like are you an asshole I'm like okay just cause I'm screaming fuck at you In the middle of this convenience store doesn't make me a Prick you're right right right cause What why doesn't he live in your Shoes for a minute yeah big Shoes too the shoe that I live in

The shoe that I live in is huge What happens in your shoes In my shoes first of all Living in The shoe that I live in is huge. What happens in your shoes? In my shoes? First of all, living in my shoe, when I go home at night, my shoe stinks. It's giant. It's the size of a house, obviously, for me to live in it. It's got four rooms. One has a pool table in it

with no balls. Yeah, you gotta find the balls. This is a big piece of marble. Yeah. So what are we gabbing about today? I got a gabber for you. I got a gabber story. We're doing gabber stories over here?

I got a gabber. I'm feeling a little gabby. We can gab about this one. Is it goss or is it gab? It's gab. All right. It's gabby goss about. I mean, it's a little bit of goss.

I mean, you know I love goss. If you know these people, this is goss. This is kind of goss that hit worldwide status. So it's goss. Oh, okay. A man filmed having sex with a woman while on a Ryanair flight was reportedly on his stag do while his pregnant fiance was at home. Now, I made Marcus privy to this story.

This was something he asked. Did you make him privy to it? Did he? I read it on Facebook. Facebook is a social media app where people become friends on it and can post different things, correct? Correct. Thank you.

I saw it on there, and I told Marcus about it. Up the ante, Jackie, looking at her phone. Unbelievable. I have her phone. Unbelievable. I have her keys in my purse. My bestie called because I've got her keys in my purse. There was a reason why she called. I've got her keys in my fucking purse. Well, you need to text her back aloud.

And that's what I'm trying to do. Text her back aloud right now. Oh, my fucking God. I'm so sorry. All she had to do was write OMFG by the way I'm so sorry They're in my purse How did you end up with their keys in your purse?

Because I put them in there What? That's a funny practical joke No, it's because we were on a beach walk And I had my fanny pack on I said, why'd you put it in my fanny pack? So no one steals them But it turns out I stole them

She has to come here Is she coming here? I guess so, yeah I said, why'd you put on my fanny pack? So no one steals them. But turns out I stole them. She has to come here. Is she coming here? I guess so, yeah. Oh, that is brutal. Yeah. It's awful to come here. I know it is.

We're all in agreement. Yeah. So a man and a woman had sex on an airplane in the middle of everyone. The pair shocked passengers on the plane from Manchester to Ibiza on Friday. Oh, I saw these pictures. When the blonde woman was seen straddling the man. Footage shows the man in the middle seat with the woman on top of him before he asked people around him for a condom.

Can we show Jackie the vid? Oh, I didn't know there was a vid. There's a hot vid. We watched it before you got here. Oh, baby. Why would you do this? Go into the bathroom at least. He's loving it too. The other guy's loving it. He's loving it. Oh baby Oh beehive Why would you do this Oh beehive Go into the bathroom at least He's loving it too

The other guy's loving it He's loving it I don't know Bathrooms too You know Everyone's like Oh Mile High Club By the way

Mile High Club No Mile High Club No Right Those bathrooms are way too small They're too small I go in just to jerk off

And I'm banging my elbow It's difficult to jerk off in there It's difficult to jerk off in there It's difficult to jerk off in there Yeah Especially you get it right into the ashtray just in case. I mean, you know, you gotta get in the ashtray. No one's using the ashtray anyway.

No one's using the ashtray. Let's have a new use for the ashtray. Call it a cum tray. And the shame you feel walking back to your seat. Yeah. That everyone knows. Yeah, everyone knows. That's the thing. Everyone always knows when you're doing that. When you're J-ing the B-room? Yeah.

Yeah, when you're J-ing someone's certain, like, vicinity, they know when you come out. If I know I'm going to see a single human being the day after, I don't jerk off the day before. Because I know they'll know. I know they'll know. No, because they smell your guilt. Yeah, they smell my G-bone. Oh, yeah, baby. That's what I call my guilt. Your grandma bone.

My grandma bone. My nanny bone. Yes, thank you. The bone my grandmother gave me when I was born and she gave me shame. Like Adam with the orange. And the orange and the apple. And the snake and the goose. And the snake and the goose.

Don't even get me started on it. Jackie, remind us what the story of the snake and the goose from the Bible. Which part was that? So the thing is there's a snake. And the problem was there's a goose. And when the goose starts gamming and she starts

waddling her fat ass around and she goes Oh, don't mind me. I'm just a goose with many a hole to fill so she's out there she's got all these holes to fill and the snake is like oh you can fill a hole if you want but the thing is is that the snake goes up inside the hole the the goose, fills the whole goose, comes out of the goose's mouth, and then it's like, fun.

Yay. So, the goose, and that is the story of the goose and the snake. Yeah, what we learned from it is, is don't waggle your holes around for the snakes to come in, or else they will come out your mouth.

Yeah. There you go, which is why Lexi's afraid of snakes. You're going to a bridal expo with her in a week. Don't bring it up. Did you get roughed into that? So what is a bridal? So bridal expo? I think I worked one of these one time.

I had to wear a tuxedo and stand in a hotel lobby and point people to the elevator. It was one of the worst weeks of my life. They treated treated us like dogs now i believe this is what happens is it in a hotel i have no idea or is it i've never been married before i've never been to one of these is it here comes the guide i don't know is it that it's all i know is that it's the 24th i believe the new york bridal expo and wedding Show Probably that It's called Here Comes the Guide Like guide G-U-I-D-E Or guide G-U-I-E-D G-U-I-E-D

G-U-I-E-D would make less sense No here comes the guide As in this is the guide to being married A lot of women will be A lot of very hot women with fucking fun ass tits Will be standing Will be standing around in wedding dresses. Okay.

You will walk around and speak with each one of them. You will either apologize or ask a question. This sounds like you do not ask. If you do not do the right thing. I'm sorry. They will get secretly upset with you. I'm sorry. Okay.

I'm sorry. That's what I'm going to say the entire time. There is the ceremony of apologies at the end and they pick the most unmarriable person, and they get an award. That's what I'm worried about. Is I'm worried about, do they burn the women that are not getting married or going to get married anytime soon? There's a bit of a witch hunt.

Do they get burnt alive? No, you're in the wedding party, so you're fine. Yeah, but at the same time, I'm not marriage material, and they are going to smell it all over me. And they do have an always a bridesmaid thrashing ceremony where they do find the person who is most likely to always be a bridesmaid and beat and gnash at them. With the gnashing of teeth. Yes, the gnashing of teeth. Cut off her fingers for no ring shall be upon them. There are handicapped people there.

There's all sorts of stuff. Wait, why? You'll be fine. Why are you? I'm just saying, in terms of unmarriableness. Oh, okay. It's New York. I think I'm way below that.

There'll be crackheads. There'll be homeless there. I would be fine with a homeless wedding. Actually, for some reason, homeless people and crackheads tend to constantly be in relationships. I just saw a person who I stalk on Facebook who's like, you know, a total in and out of rehab. And it's like he's constantly got new stinky hot girlfriends. That's the way it goes. What is the seat?

What is that? In rehab. Because they can't fuck each other. Because they can't do anything. Right, right. So they lose their mind. That's all they have is like the natural drug of sex. Yes.

Are you going out to Jersey for this bridal expo? I fucking hope not. I hope not. Well, the only bridal expos happening around here in June are all in New Jersey. Oh, the old and the wise. Have fun out in West Orange. Do I have to go to Jersey? July 19th, is that when it is?

No. That's the only one that's here in New York City. June 24th. So this is what we do. I pretend to be you and go with Lexi to her bride, Alexa. Do you really want to do that? You dress like me

and do the show here at the Creek. Is it on a Sunday? Saturday. I think I get cake and champagne. Yeah. Right? Isn't that what happens at an expo? I'm sure it will be fun.

No. No, I think in certain meeting rooms, like the fancier ones with the jewelry, they give you cake and things. I don't even know what this means. It's all bridal things. It's everything. It's jewelry. It's dresses. It's gaudy flowers.

So what do you do? You just look at them and go, ooh. Yeah, and like, yes, essentially, in an attempt to maybe, everything there is going to be too expensive for Lexi and I to afford. This is the funny part about it. Isn't that the thing? It's to give her ideas for a cheaper version of whatever she's don't ask her to tell her to listen to this by the way it's to give her ideas

for the cheaper version of this. See what if I went and I'm like yes. That looks wonderful. You can't get anything below this because no one will ever trust you as a woman again if you don't

pay $29,000 for this tiny pillow and case of dog cuffs. I've got a cat trace for you this weekend. What? You only get married once. Oh my god, I love that. Lexi, Lexi.

Lexi, you only get married once. You only get married once. I'm going to have to go back to the coal yards. Oh, you're going to have to. I'm going to have to work this budget out at the coal yards. You're going to have to figure it out. Covered in soot and screaming angry, you know? And I'll tell you who else is screaming angry.

That guy's pregnant fucking fiance. Oh my God. Who was fucking getting. That guy's pregnant fucking fiance. Oh, my God. Who was fucking getting his fucking boy was getting his bones knocked off. Well, initially, the pair appeared to be just a boozy couple up to no good on a plane. But it has now emerged that the man is a 31-year-old Sean Edmondson from Cumbria who had never actually met the woman before the plane journey. He's from Cumbria. Cumbria. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the plane journey. He's from Cumbria. Cumbria. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What's her name, Bree? That's the thing. Oh. What's her name, Bree? Probably not. They did not say her name. They are keeping her anonymous. They would probably not say her name.

According to a friend of the 31-year-old who is known as a ladies' man, he was on his own stag do while his pregnant fiance Jenna Ross, 25, waited for him at home. They told the son that's just a random woman he's with. They didn't know each other before that day. He doesn't seem to be too bothered. He's left his six months pregnant wife to be at home while he

cavorts with random strangers. Cut his dick off. I thought you were going to say cut it out from Full House. No, I wouldn't. No, that's not. I was fucking at home. I thought you were going to say cut it out. No, I wouldn't. No, that's not. I was fucking at home. I was at home pregnant. And then this viral story went everywhere with my fucking husband or fiance?

Fiance. Fiance. I don't know. I don't know. And then the guy, they were cavorting. And then the guy yelled, anyone got a jelly? Wow. Yelling it in the plane.

So, did, okay, so Marcus and I went back and forth on this. Did they actually fuck? This claims that they fucked? It looks like they're fucking. This claims that you could see the girl taking off her pants, and he pulled his trousers off, and she started riding him. Okay, so is that what we see? Is that the moment we're seeing in the video or is that like happening afterwards? I think that happened

afterwards. I think that happened afterwards because it looks like she's wearing jean shorts right here. Or she could be wearing a jean skirt. Could be but it kind of looks more like a shorts type of situation. Man. That guy's pretty ripped though. Like he's got muscles. Yep. Wow. Fucking asshole. She's a cut though Like he's got muscles Wow

She's a cutie, that's his fiance And to do it so noticeably Like ooh To yell in a full plane He was drunk Yeah, it doesn't It wouldn't Ooh, I'm mad for her

Ooh God, it makes me so angry It wouldn't. Oh, I'm mad for her. Yeah. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. God, it makes me so angry. Yeah, I've been watching some public freakouts lately that have also been kind of fun. I'm surprised that didn't end up on there. You know, it's gotten really sad at public freakouts because the country's political climate has made it all really lame.

It's a bunch of people screaming. It's Antifa and all that crap that's boring like where are those people but sometimes you get a really good drunk guy getting punched the fuck out in the subway and that i that's a video i would recommend to anybody drunk guy and he's got a leg brace on so you know he's just gotten out of some trouble and he totally starts throwing stuff in the subway and then the dude comes out and he's like you want to start with me you want to start with me he's like, you want to start with me? You want to start with me? He's like, yeah, I want to start with you. And then the guy just fucking, bam.

Man, that's kind of fun. Punches him out, dude. And then another chick. Oh, now it's all coming back to me. And then another girl also who works there. Wait, no, no. This is at Burger King, not a Subway. Sorry, Subway.

I ate at Subway earlier. That's why I'm getting confused. The chick. Another lady comes. I did. I'm sorry. By the way, to the gods, I'm sorry that I ate at Subway just now. I just needed quick food.

I didn't know where to go. So I went to Subway. Sometimes you just don't want to go. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? All right. Anyways, it's beside the point. Why are you judging me?

Do you never? It's the pedophile. It's the pedophile thing. Oh my God. What is that? You're not supposed to do it. And also they got fake meats. It's a fake meat place.

Why would we crucify Subway like they knew? You are killing Marcus. Look what you did to Marcus. You did it to him. Look what you did to Marcus. You did it to him. He's still coughing. He's still dying from you.

I swallowed my coffee wrong. Oh, do you want some water? Yeah. No, I'm okay. Yeah, he sounds good. I like him better this way. Sounds great. So, I do like that, too.

Old Man Marcus. Oh, no. Uh-oh. Is that Old Man Marcus? Oh, get out of here. You're making me cough. Stop. All right.

What the fuck is... Oh, yes. So, Burger King. Burger King. Guy gets punched out twice. He's on the ground. Another dude runs over like the manager I think it is And steps on him Puts the foot on him

He's like You ain't going nowhere And then this other Burger King worker This lady runs out With a taser And just starts tasing him And you know someone's

Fucked up on some drugs When they're just Kind of like Ah stop that You get off of me now You stop it now You know he's like Not really phased

By the tase That's when you know They're just shit out Of fucking his bullshit That dude is not phased By the tase Not phased by the tase She's's when you know they're just shit out of fucking bullshit. That dude is not phased by the tase. Not phased by the tase. She's just tased him, tased him, tased him, and then he finally gets up and walks out of the place. It's a great video.

I can't recommend it enough, and that's Holden McNeely's Public Freakout Pick of the Week. There you go. Thank you. Thank you. Let's move it along. Let's move it along. I got another story for you. Let's move it along. Let's move it along. I got another story for you. All right.

A local counselor is calling for schools to play music in the toilet so students aren't embarrassed to poo when they need to. That's nice. I used to be very poo shy in school. Jackie, thank you for your coughing. Every time I asked, pointed to Jackie and asked her a question, I said before the show, I was like, every time I point at you, cough. I was trying to burp okay look were you poop shy in school I used to go to a secret bathroom

Marcus we're past you Jackie I had a secret bathroom as well I had a key to a handicapped bathroom really and I used it see I didn't have that I poo very rarely and when I do it's See, I didn't have that. I poo very rarely

and when I do, it's at home. Really? We've talked about this. We've definitely talked about this. Yeah, yeah. It's once every few days. Ian likes you to talk. Yeah.

Is she too much? No, no. She also, you know. It's not discomforting though. Oh, okay. It's just the way your body processes food. My body just processes food. I burn up all the nutrients.

You have a weird diet. Yeah. Okay. Jackie, secret bathroom. Three to four times a day. I'm once in the morning. Boom. We're good.

That's it? That's it, baby. Unless I eat Chipotle. Then it's a whole other balling game. And I eat Chipotle. I try to eat it at least once a week. But lately, i've been off my game because i've been working at home now so less chipotle eating but but i did eat last week i ate chipotle and i was stuck in the city for pretty much the rest of the day got to know some public bathrooms that way i'll tell you what

more than one yeah if you want to get cleaned the fuck out go to chipotle right now do like a detox like like a cleanse. Like a cleanse. Eat a bunch of fruit. That's what I've been doing. I eat a lot of fruit. I've eaten over the last few days no less than 30 cherries. Banana morning. Banana in the morning for me. I've been eating a lot of pineapple.

Make your cum taste good. Yeah, my cum tastes great. Ask all the squirrels in the neighborhood. Why? Because they sit on my lap, and then they start licking, and then they're like, oh, pineapple. You're like a Disney princess. Yeah.

So it's kind of cool. What can I say other than once a day in the morning, first of all. Second of all, public bathrooms. In school, I get this. I would have actually appreciated this I became more poop Less poop shy When I started in adult life When I started working in an office

And I'm just like, what do I give a fuck I still hate sitting next to a person Stall by stall That still bugs me out I still don't want to do it I'll wait It's weird if there's noise coming from the next stall Especially if it's weird if there's noise coming from the next stall yeah man a guy like if especially if it's like a noisy dude man i um i had i was that dude um once yeah exactly it's fun hearing your

own boss fart by the way and then shit come out of his ass that's fun but i was at a the moma the worst place to get the runs the moma right the museum of the modern art awful place to get the runs, the MoMA, right? The Museum of the Modern Art. Awful place to have to shit out of your ass. It's a classy place, and you don't want to be blasting. It's a busy, classy place. And to blast out of your ass at a classy place like that, it's just a bummer, right? And you're in pain. You're trying to enjoy yourself.

You're generally hopefully there on a fucking day off, and now your fucking ass is sabotaging you. Both of you are looking at me like I'm a crazy person. I know I'm right. I used to have a thing where every time I went to a bookstore, I had to take a dump. I had that too. At Borders. Every time I went to Borders Books and Music, I'd start looking at CDs. Every time.

Was it the coffee? Were you guys drinking coffee? No. It was like right when I got there, I'd always get so pissed. Yeah, every single time. It would either be Barnes & Noble or Hastings, which is a local type thing. I don't know what it was. Every time I went, yeah, it's like take a dumper. Weird.

You know where I've shit a lot in? Where? JCPenney. Really? I've shit a lot in JCPenney. First of all, you shop at, you go to JCPenney. I think it's like you walk through. I don't know when I've been to a JCPenney. You always walk through the JCPenney. First of all, you shop at, you go to JCPenney. I don't know when I've last, I've been to a JCPenney. You always

walk through the JCPenney. It's always at the end of the mall. To get to the Cinnabon. You get to get where, or the Auntie Ann's, please. Where I would get the hot dog nubs, because you don't want to get the full hot dog pretzel. I like getting the nubs better, because I like to choose how I dip. I just can't get,

say the word nubs. Nubs, hot dog nubs. Also, pretzel nubs. I think like to choose how I dip. I just can't get, say the word nubs. I hate the word nubs. Also, what? Pretzel nubs. I think it was Henry on Thanksgiving. He was talking about like the dribblings and it made me want to throw up. Dribblings of what? The dribblings on the turkey or whatever.

It was some word he was using about the turkey. He always sops it. Yeah, he sops up and he calls it the dribblings. And I'm like, that's disgusting. That just makes me want to throw up. But either way, you just on your way to. On the way to my nubs. Yeah, you got to go through JCPenney.

Many a shit. I don't know. I think it's the air. You know, it's like there's something stagnant about a JCPenney. And that just, yeah. I guess the same about a big bookstore as well. Yeah, stagnant air. Open air, yeah.

Right. It used, yeah. Right. It used to bug me out. And so in high school, I would actually really appreciate this because, of course, everyone knows about the secret bathroom. Now, I'm having a quick flashback. I know I've talked about this on the show before, but I'm having a kind of a flashback to when I would wake up. And for like a long string of high school mornings, I was getting speaking of the runs, getting the runs deeply. And I had to find that secret bathroom. It was just a bathroom that was in like another building.

We had like kind of a campus and it was in like the arts building upstairs on any given morning. You're generally going to get in a lone poop. It was a big bathroom. It was a public bathroom, but it was just one that wasn't near the lockers and so i found that and i used that and then there's also one in the back of the theater but i had it all staked and figured because i couldn't stand it i couldn't stand it all right well you gotta get over it i did get over it you know what it is speaking of public freakouts on on Reddit, there was a Reddit post where a guy talked about how he loved to make the loudest fart noise he could in a public restroom to fuck with

other people. And he had this great story about how he blasted his whole ass with like a bunch of people in the restroom with him. And he thought it was so funny. And I was like, that is funny. I should stop feeling ashamed of this. It's really funny. It's kind of hilarious to sabotage somebody with a big fart.

If I were to be in a bathroom and I farted really loud in a stall i would laugh exactly i would laugh at myself and everyone would laugh and we'd all have a great time together and everyone would have a story and then you're just like why do i care about this and to go back to the moma i had the runs of the moment i was sitting there shitting out my ass and the guy came into the stall next to me and for the first time ever i just heard a guy going man stinks like shit in here and i was like oh and i felt deep shame i felt deep shame no no shame i felt so and i was sweating you know it's the bathroom it's supposed to stink like shit although i had it was me though weird ptsd with i just remember in middle school that I opened up

the bathroom door on me that wasn't locked all the way. And I almost died. I thought I was going to die. Were you in the middle of a wipe? Oh yeah, I was splayed out. It was definitely too much was seen. And then recently...

And Jackie puts her breasts out when she takes them off. Oh yeah, I take my breasts off. They actually are detachable. And I leave them on top of the toilet. And so my instant reaction was throw my breasts at her. Right. So that was also a whole other thing on top because then he realized I was a boy. But recently I walked into a friend of mine at a bathroom.

She had a romper on. Don't assume Jackie's gender, Marcus. Thank you. Please. Don't look at... I did not assume a thing. Unbelievable. Eight years. I assumed nothing. Start printing the shirts. Old Nader's house done.

The way that you assume that I would assume Jackie's gender is unbelievable. I don't... At me with that. Guys. Assume that I would Assume Jackie's Gender is Un At me with that Guys Un at me with that

At me believable What are they gonna do There's so many shirts flying off the shelves They don't know which one to get We gotta put numbers on the shirts. They have to collect them all. That's more believable. I like it.

If we start doing all of those and we put numbers on them and make them a collector's item, they'll have to get the whole set. You're right. And action figures. We have a cabbage patch, Sean. We leave them in the boxes. Leave them in the boxes. There's a bastard in the basket.

Take out the lotions. Leave the bastard in the basket Take out the lotions Leave the bastard in the basket Please She had a romper on So her whole body was exposed And so it was But it wasn't right We were both drunk I opened the thing

I was laughing so hard That I walked in on her That I couldn't close the door Because I was laughing so hard But she was also laughing really hard And then you realize How great it is to be an adult. There it is. That you don't have to be, that it's like I saw her entire body.

I know. And it was just funny. I bet I know who you're talking about. Yeah. I bet I know. But we only have one friend who wears almost exclusively rompers. Yep. Interesting.

You guys are real whodunits over here. Real. Can't we? I'm a bit of a Sherlock who. Cam Jansen, anybody? Click. Click. Who?

Click. What? Cam Jansen. No. Photogenic memory. Oh. Yes, you could see a board with numbers on it. Click.

Sorry. I just remembered you. You guys don't remember Cam Jansen? Cam Jansen? Cam Jansen Mysteries? Yeah. Ooh, Cam Jansen can find a mystery anywhere, anywhere, even at the house next door. When Cam and Eric set out to raise money for the local library by selling fudge door to door, they find that someone is hiding something behind one of those doors.

Ew, that's the dumbest synopsis I've ever heard. Fudge. Is it fudge? Is somebody hiding fudge behind that door? Nobody hides fudge from me. And then there's Cam Jansen and the Triceratops

mystery. There's a lot more Cam Janses than just those two. I mean, that's the synopsis for the Cam Jansson chocolate fudge mystery. Chocolate fudge. It's in my butt. Roy. All right. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah, Roy. That's a good writing thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Roy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Roy. Sounds like he's saying roids, yeah, yeah, Roy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Roy. Sounds like you're saying Royds. Roy. Roy.

God, that's so Jackie's thing. Oh, my God, that is so Jackie. You know, when I think about what Jackie's like, I say it. She's like, Roy. Right, guys? I'm sorry, excuse me. Roy. Yeah, now you have to always say Roy.

I'm sorry, excuse me, roigt. Yeah, now you have to always say roigt. Well, Cecilia Cato, a counselor for the Center Party in Tingsierd, Frid, Sweden, claims that going to the toilet and feeling embarrassed about it is a big problem in primary and secondary schools. She told the local, I don't think it's just about number two on the toilet, but many also don't do number one. How are they supposed to grow? You're supposed to be embarrassed as

a child. That's how you grow up. You get fucking past it. Oh yeah. Oh, I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm against this woman. I'm against this woman as well. She's creating shame in the bathroom. Shaming, bathroom shaming is the new issue that we need to

be speaking about on the internet. Although I got to say, I saw a very, very, you know what? I don't know why I was so uncomfortable about it. It was on Instagram and they were like, this is the best baby smash of all time. They put a little fat chubby baby. He had no clothes on next to this big cake and he thought it was going to be a cake smash. But he just shoved his penis inside of the cake and started pissing from the inside of what and it was very upsetting oh his tiny penis yeah and it was just like piss everywhere i'm deeply uncomfortable by baby by little tiny tiny penises

also tiny vaginas everybody's totally cool with it i i was at we were at coney last weekend and this woman just ripped like she had two they're probably three years old like twins ripped off both their clothes a boy and a girl and started like wiping them in front of people it's like stop wiping them in front of people right that's what should be stopped you don't gotta play it in the fucking play music in the bathrooms that's wiping his put them in a trash bag. Do it in there and remove them from the bag. Yes. How fucking hard is that? Exactly. Shake them up

so all the shit comes out of them. Then they're clean. There you go. Kind of. Centripetal force. There you go. Baby's clean. That's why I can't go to the movie theater anymore. Yeah. It's the peeny wiping. Yeah. And then they wipe it with the penis as well. They'll wipe it with the penis.

Oh, they're so tiny. They're just, ugh. Baby penises? Yeah. They're just, shut up. Shut it off. Unbelievable. They're so tiny.

Unbelievable. Jackie. Just turn, yeah, just turn the phone off. It's off. The sound is off. It is on. Oh, okay. The sound is off. It is on. Oh, okay. The sound is off.

Now there's new levels, right, and things. I don't know how to do these things. Can I just put up my blood? Roy? Guys. Hottest goss right now. What's the hottest goss right now? Hottest goss.

We just talked about it yesterday on page seven, so I guess you can listen to that. You can listen to page seven every week on Cave Comedy Radio? I think that's what it's called. That's what it's called. All the hot goss. The problem is that their penises look like Hershey's Kisses. I think they

look like tiny little round rocket ship things. No, like little Vienna sausages. Yes, Vienna sausages with like half of a... You know what? I can't. I'm just thinking about baby penises now, and I just don't want it anymore. I'm so disgusted by them. I'm so disgusted right now.

I know. I'm really disgusted. They're almost as bad as feet. And by the way, can we talk about feet-mageddon? Summer's here, and it's the worst. I'm sorry. It was at the beach. I am currently not wearing shoes.

I noticed. I noticed. I noticed these things. I immediately sorry. It was at the beach. I am currently not wearing shoes. I noticed. I noticed. I noticed these things. I immediately noticed. If you are riding on a subway with me and your feet are out, I'm immediately just like, those are the grossest feet I've ever seen. Guy feet everywhere. Gross dude feet.

Dudes, put them away. You need to reprioritize what you get outraged about. Oh, please. What is your level of outrage Where does foot like man foot sit Right under we live in a godless nation Wow Like inches under Like a baby penis's amount under

They're so tiny And squat You know They just piss wherever they piss There you go They just piss wherever they piss there you go they just piss where they piss man fucking dude feet is nasty nasty it's okay marcus you're in your domain all right i'm not gonna fucking give you shit oh no i wore sandals here yeah well flip flip excuse me i wore flip-flops i mean i i'm like used to my friend's feet now it's taken a long time but

i'm like used to it at this point um but it's taken a long time, but I'm like used to it at this point. But it's just like on the train. And if your shit is just blasted, just crooked and fucked, like get it out. Like your feet aren't. Mine are okay. Fucked, you know. All right. If you have some fucked ass feet, do us a favor.

Do us a fucking favor. Yeah, you got your feet out too. Ugh. I didn't even. I was at the beach. I didn't realize know I was at the beach I didn't realize Like I was talking To two feet people This is just useless

Like I can't I can't I can't What do you do You wear Converse To the beach Yes actually See that to me

Is just as angering Yes actually That angers me Yes actually Well I take them off Unbelievable You can't take mine Alright I'm not Sitting here going Thatieveable. You can't take mine.

I'm sorry. I'm not sitting here going. That's not that. You want me to do that sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? What's nice about that is you can just do it over anyone talking. Oh, yeah. It's pretty great.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways, put them away is all I have to say to the people of today. It's the summer it's feet mageddon i hate everything i stay inside you know me i like the cold oh i know i like it forbidding you know i like everyone staying inside i like the feet wrapped up i love it all right you know

what i'm saying i think it's i take issue with your use of mageddon why i don't like the giddens you don't like just adding mageddon i don't like just adding Mageddon to anything? I don't like adding Mageddon. Is that an internet cute thing? By the way, big, I need to talk about this. I'm actually going to get on that. There's a great Facebook email, like, what do you call it? A comment chain post. Comment, thank you.

Jeez Louise. Common thread. Jeez Louise. I love that one. That's a good saying. I wish I could call it my own, but it's the people's saying. Yes. Public domain.

There's a great thread about, and I'm calling it internet cute. That's what I'm calling it, of shit that has just gotten out of hand, that people are just aggravated about seeing over and over again on the internet. People being on Twitter and everything. Burn it to the ground. You know what I got to hold what Holden's saying right now What I have to say This

Just this This So much this All the things I do all the things That has got to go Like go And people act like

It's like I get it you know you gotta have something to hang your hat on man i saw the saddest post today a person complaining that people aren't liking their before and after workout pics enough we can talk about it off stream i think you know who i'm talking about oh my god that's very i don't know i don't go on facebook anymore don't talk about me like i'm not fucking here. I know it's me. Oh, my God. It's selfie Belinda. I know it's me you're talking about.

Selfie Belinda, I'm so sorry, but I just don't think you need to worry about that. You don't see how cut my breasts are. We love how cut your breasts are, and we're proud of your journey. We're proud of your journey journey and we want to support your journey but you post them every day and it gets to a point where it's like i i'm my like finger is all tapped out it's bruised maybe that's your problem maybe you're over liking you know what you think about that you're not they're liking other people more than you're liking her yeah true selfie belinda i'm so sorry do you have anything to say to the people out there about Facebook and about your life and about your journey?

I just feel like my journey is harder than everybody else's journey. Do you realize I've been adulting? I've been adulting for 29 fucking years. Shut it down. And nobody fucking cares. The internet is closed for the day. Nobody cares about it. Shut it down. Nobody fucking cares. The internet is closed for the day. Nobody cares about it. Shut it down.

Epic win. Epic win. Sorry, epic win. Big fail. Hashtag winning. Everyone in New York, thank you for joining us, Selfie Belinda. We really appreciate it. Trans people?

Excuse me? Thoughts? Thoughts? Gender. Gender normatives? Trans people? Excuse me? Thoughts? Thoughts? Gender? Gender normatives? Yucky, yucky, yucky. Whoa. And that's when it turns.

And that's why she doesn't get those likes. There it is. That's her problem. Right. I think it's also, yeah, that she, yeah. That's a problem. That's what's happening. Yeah. She also hates all white men. I think that's also, yeah, that she, yeah. That's a problem. That's what's happening. Yeah.

She also hates all white men. I think that's the other problem. Truth. There you go. Truth bomb. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God.

She's turning to gelatin. Oh, my God. She's turning into jello. No. No, selfie Belinda. Sweet. Man, that was a good act out. That was really good.

You know what was weird? It's like, where did Selfie Belinda begin and where did I end? I don't know. That's a good question. That's what's scary. I think your Selfie Belinda voice is pretty much your voice. I was going back and forth. Yeah.

I was going back and forth between the character And between me But then I realized It all sounded like Sophie Belinda So then Who am I That's right I'm two Four

Six Oh one Oh one Oh one Like this You always say that You always sing that song Which is like the most like

I feel like more obscure Oh my god it's so good I sat in the front row I cried my eyes out in the theater Oh my god it's so good We talked about it I know I know we can't talk about it all the time

I just had a resurgence though When I just listened to it Really? Yeah I just listened to it for the first time In at least two months Yeah And that's big for me I haven first time in at least two months. Yeah. And that's big for me.

I haven't cried in a movie in a while. Oh, I wasn't watching the movie. Yeah. I was listening to the original Broadway cast. No, I know, but I mean, I'm connecting the dots. Oh, you're connecting the dots. Yes. I cry all the time.

Yeah. What's the last movie you cried, or TV thing you cried at? I mean, the girl whose muscles turned to bone. Oh, I saw the... We talked about it. I saw the... We talked about it on page seven. No.

Yeah, I was like, absolutely not. If you want a bit of a jerker, watch The 40-Year-Old Virgins on Netflix. I said quote instead of wink when I winked at you. Quote. Quote. Quote. Quote. Quote. Quote.

Quote. I'm so sorry. Jerker. Jerker. Quoter. It was for Jerker. It was for Jerker. For Jerker.

Quote. Jerker. Oh, God. It is. It's very sweet. I can't wait to watch it. It's very sweet. Is it sweet?

It is. The guy is, it's about two British people. One of them is Irish. The other is about two British people. One of them is Irish. The other is English. So usually those are a little cringy, but for some reason this one kind of isn't because it's about a guy and a gal, British guy, Irish gal, and the British guy is 45, and he's very sweet, but it just never happened for him.

So they both go to sex surrogates, and her story is sad. She was abused as a kid and doesn't like sex so she also goes to a sex surrogate a sexy 46 year old man named gary and he goes to a 78 year old also sexy woman and they have a personal journey can we talk cringe just for a second as well? I love cringe. Season six, first episode of My Strange Addiction that's on Hulu. It's about rubber dolling. Have you heard about rubber dolling? I think so. If it is what I think, is it where they get the rubber face mask and put it on?

And the full body like rubber suit? Well, very familiar with this phenomenon. It is interesting. Body, like rubber suits. Well, very familiar with this phenomenon. Interesting. It is interesting. It is. I want to say Grinchworthy just because, like, I can't imagine putting on the entire suits, the rubber suits. There's an episode. I guess there's probably, I know there's, like, Vice stuff and everything about it.

But, like, where you were talking about how sweet the 40, like, it's like that does sound like a sweet, nice thing. It's like, this is something, like, it wasn't like, oh, oh my god i can't believe it's more just like oh my god like you hate yourself that much it's like huh jesus like you just want to look in the mirror and see someone completely different it's not like you're just it's not you know um i guess you know there's a good amount there are sexual fetishes as well, but the one that I was watching was more about they just didn't like themselves, and they wanted to look in the mirror and see someone else. But they thought that they looked really great, but it's like, but your face is, but your face.

I just don't understand. I didn't get it. I was very cringed. I cringed. You were cringed out? I got't get it. I was very cringed. I cringed. You were cringed out? I got a little cringe. So, okay, so I pulled up the thread, so I have a couple of those once we're done talking about the horrible, disgusting.

You're not even paying attention to the femme skin conversation that I'm trying to have. This would be a good moment. Because they have penetrable vaginas and you can install the rectum that's also penetrable, which I get. But if it's men wearing these things, how is the vagina penetrable? Where does the penis go? You can reach up and tickle it.

You can reach up inside and tickle it. Your own penis. No, you reach up inside the penetrable vagina and tickle the penis that's inside. The other person does. The other person does. Do you put a penis in there? You could, but...

But where does the penis go? Inside. Where? The room. There's no hole. Oh, there's no hole? There's a hole, but there's no hole. Well, there's the hole that goes in and tickles the other penis that's inside the hole.

So they shove it up into the laminate skin? Yeah, they kind of lube it up, I'd imagine. Into the rubber skin? Imagine they lube it up and ram it in there. Damn. Wiggle it around. Damn. It's hard.

Yeah. And then I guess if the butthole, that's where it is. That's understandable. But that's going to be even more difficult because it's hard enough to get a dick in a butthole in the first place and to have to go through a whole different hole to get to the butthole is just going to be very intensive. I just wish that they showed more of that.

Yeah. I wanted to see more of that. Yeah. No, they're not going to do that. I know. I just wanted to see how it worked. The 45-year-old virgin one, full nudity. Done and done.

Full nudity. You got it, dude. Okay. One of my, okay, this is one of my big ones. You got it, dude. This is one of my big ones. You got it, dude. This is one of my big ones. K, thanks, bye. Right at the end of some snippy fucking bitchy post.

It's always snoot. Yes, it's always a bitchy post. Somebody else said, I'm literally dying. You'll shit bricks when you notice it. My sides. My sides. A lot of don't come at me with that oh man i mean they're just fucking around man when people go man um let's okay okay i love this one from matthew amen

when someone records another person doing something stupid and posted saying let's make this fucker famous uh yeah fuck do i hate that, yeah. Fuck do I hate that. Ew, who does that? Fuck do I hate that. It's like the whole culture of it. The whole culture is like, the world's so quirky and cute. Let's make idiots who have no talent famous. Let's make, let's like, let's shut it down. Like, how do I become, how do I become like, like, uh, just the most possible, like, quirky. Don't we all agree? Don't we all agree don't we all you know what i'm

saying we need to burn it it's like an attempt to become individuals we've become the flock that's what i'm trying to say right now everybody's trying to be zoe deschanel on the fucking internet and by the way whenever any of these things materialize in the real world, they all look stupid. Because it's only, and for good reason. You know what I'm saying? So if you're going out there and you're trying to live your fucking life, you're trying to do something, you're trying to get some likes. First of all, stop trying to get likes. Yeah.

It's not good. It's not healthy. No. Jackie? I have to. Instagram? I know. They say I have to.

I know what you're're the dark force behind you i know that the creepy boardroom of people behind you're doing me i have to do it all i'm saying is we gotta get it together all right the reason why everyone's upset right now is because of this stuff yeah you think i'm wrong you can jump off your own mother's house and step on a shoe that's not yours. Alright, it's time for a segment from

Home McNeil. I'm sorry, but step on someone else's shoe. Don't say that! You're being very scary. Okay, we love our tearjerker films We love them We can't get enough of them

I can You know You can I cannot Jackie loves them Well this is like a me and Jackie segment right here You know what I'm saying You guys should go watch

It Comes at Night It's misery porn It's Yeah God it's fucking devastating It Comes at Night Is it a doc? It's a horror suspense movie You devastating It comes at night Is it a doc? It's a horror movie Horror suspense movie

You haven't seen this fucking trailer? No I want to see The Void too Yeah Is that good? It's supposed to be very good Yeah I haven't seen it I haven't seen it yet

I want to see that as well It's got tentacles on the cover Okay Tearjerker film You gotta come up with something That is literally going to Collect the most tears From your audience That it can possibly collect You need to come up with something that is literally going to collect the most tears from your audience that it can possibly collect.

You need to do something. It's got to be the most tear jerking thing ever. Okay. You want to hear mine? Well, you got to because it's a segment and we're literally the only two people doing it. Okay. Jackie and I. Jackie, you ready?

Yes. Okay. It is called Sarah's Afternoon. Okay. Sarah's Afternoon. It's about a woman who has cancer. She has four different kinds of cancer. In her mouth.

In her knees. In her thumbs. And in her... Stop saying that. Are you saying horror? And in horror Stop it. she has cancer, right?

The whole town comes together. They've said the doctor is like, you have a day to live. The whole town comes together to celebrate her life, but a boy gets shot in the middle of the celebration by a,

by a man who is desperate, uh, desperately addicted to heroin. Okay. The boy gets shot. His heart, his heart, uh,

gets preserved. They find that actually his not, his heart has a cancer curing agent in it. They put the heart inside of Sarah. It cures her cancer. And then you have the scene where the mother puts her ear up to the beating heart. That's pretty jerky. That's pretty jerky.

And Moana's in it. Moana is in it from Disney. Is it an animated film? No, she's animated, but she's the only one I feel like it's basically the story Of Dear Zachary Except we're gonna You've seen Dear Zachary It is probably the most devastating movie I have ever seen

But what you're gonna do is on top of it Is that she's either Gotta figure out whether she's gotta sit down Or she's gotta stand up for the rest of her life because her muscles are turned into bone. And that's on top of it, but what they don't realize is that the kid had it as well,

so that's a lot of it. I can't give it away, that the kid has it as well, but also you watch as the grandparents in the documentary as well also have it. So their bodies are also turning into stone. That's going to jerk more tears. And so it's just adding on to it.

I mean, a bit of a ripoff. I mean, I ripped off the plot of a This American Life episode. And you added Moana into it. You added Moana. It's a bit more over the top. I did add Moana to it to give it that extra mump. You know what I'm saying? And then also right before

the mother does what she does, she takes a puppy and she cuts its head off. That's going to jerk a lot of tears. That's going to just alienate people. Will it?

Yes. I'd cry. This is going to make people we jerk? No, the puppy should jerk all over that. All right, the puppy's gift. It's a puppy giving every homeless child a gift on Christmas Eve.

No, no, no, that's basically Santa Paws. And then Santa Paws comes, and he saves everybody in the town, and then you know what? Santa Paws is homeless, and he dies in the fucking cold. Air Bud Cancer Edition. I'm just gonna do Santa Paws. There you go. Okay, I think Santa Paws

gets it. Santa Paws is just so devastating. There you go. That's brutal do Santa Paws There you go Okay I think Santa Paws gets it Santa Paws is just so devastating There you go That's brutal Santa Paws is just so devastating Hey we should fucking plug Jack and his dating sims Since it's the two of us here We should plug it three of us

Marcus you're a human being I am I am I am I am I am The best thing to say when someone says Are you a human being

I am I am I am I concur I am I am. I am. I am. The best thing to say when someone says, are you a human being? I am. I am. I am. I concur. I am. I am. It sounds like you're being programmed to say that right now. I agree.

Jack and his dating sims. This week, it's going to be on Saturday night. Usually, it's on Friday nights. Right now, we're playing the Cripple Girl dating sim called Katawa Shouju. Jackie's gunning for the legless one. Come join us. We got a bunch of fucking people hanging out for that and it's super fun and we do it every week. So there's my plug.

Holdenator's Ho on Twitch. And Holden drinks rosé while he watches it. I always drink a nice glass of rosé and a nice glass. We get shitty by the way. We get. I have had get Back it up a little bit Cause we get fucking blasted

Every time I try to back it up a little bit It doesn't happen 6pm is when we do it on Friday And we just get blasted Anyways so that's my thing That's my plug don't wear it out Jackie don't wear it out Don't wear it out with Jackie Zebrowski every Thursday.

It's just her on her couch watching sad movies. Maybe show up if you find her address. Right! Goodbye. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to cavecomedyradio.com.