The Royals of Malibu - LATTES WITH LUCY E3 - Navigating a Love Triangle with TROM Writer Keyanna Khatiblou

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

Welcome to Lattes with Lucy, a special bonus series of The Royals of Malibu hosted by Stephanie Sherry (Lucy in The Royals of Malibu). Today, Keyanna Khatiblou (writer, The Royals of Malibu) joins Steph and Emma to discuss fan questions about crushes, friends that only talk about themselves, and what to do when you lack career direction. This show is different because we want to hear from you! Let us be the Lucy to your Ella Sinclair - and write to us your questions on life. Let us know what you’re going through, nothing is too big or too small, too scandalous or too cringe - whatever you may be going through, we want to hear it. You can write/upload your questions at https://www.emeraldaudio.co/latteswithlucy for a chance to be featured in the show  • Follow The Royals of Malibu on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/theroyalsofmalibu/) • Follow Stephanie Sherry on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/itsstephsherry/?hl=en) • Follow Emerald Audio on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/emeraldaudionetwork/?hl=en) • Follow The Royals of Malibu on TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@theroyalsofmalibu) • Explore more: https://www.emeraldaudio.co Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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we totally encourage you to consult a qualified therapist or counselor. And oh my god, welcome back to Latest at Lucy, a special bonus series of The Royals of Malibu. I am joined today by someone outrageously important. And if you don't know who she is, you don't realize it, but you actually already do. Kiana Kati Blue, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited.

And I was gonna get a latte BTW for the theme, love a theme, but I didn't have time. So instead I have my little San Francisco mug for people who are watching. This is exactly what San Francisco looks like with all the colors and everything. Oh and you have your lattes with Lucy. Perfect. Oh available now. It should be., this is Ella's fantasy escape mug. Available in gift stores on, like, one of the piers or something in San Francisco.

For those listeners who don't know, and you should know this, Kiana is our fabulous writer of season one and co-writer of season two. I know a lot of fans listening are probably dying to ask you questions about season three, and I know we can't get into any spoilers about that. But I thought we could ask some questions.

I know a lot of people have lots of theories of who killed Brooke. And I was wondering if you could just give an example of someone who definitely did not kill Brooke, just to put down some theories. I would say, yeah, I mean, definitely Ella didn't kill Brooke. Can we say that? We're in her POV the whole time. And we hear her learn that, you know, Brooke is dead.

It's not Ella. I know who I think definitely didn't do it. Who do you think definitely didn't kill? Me, Lucy. Lucy did not casually kill Brooke, okay? Like, I will die on that. I will die. I don't know anything, you guys, but I will die on that. Unless...

Lucy did not. Unless she did. Unless her character is wildly different than what everyone was expecting. And then this entire podcast is actually like a sham because why would you want advice for my character who murders? Oh my gosh. That would take a whole new meaning to this whole lattes with Lucy show. If she's actually a murderer.

This is a cult. This is terrible murderous advice with Lucy. No, we're not doing that. It's genuine. This is how to get away with murder by Lucy. Keanu, do you have a favorite character on the show? I feel like, I don't know, I like them all so much and I feel weirdly protective of the characters as well.

I feel like they are all my children, even though I'm not old enough to be any of their moms. I do think that Val is probably the most fun character for me to write. Easton is also really fun because- Easton's amazing. He says the most off the wall stuff. But I do think my favorite character is probably Ella. I think she just, it's so cool to get to write

a female character that is so confident and so bold. And I was reading an interview that Alyssa did. She was talking about like her inner Ella when she needs to be confident. And I do the same thing. I have this like Ella voice, you know? And I think so many women are, have a hard time like speaking up for themselves

and all of that, you know? And it's like, you know, I have that too. I for sure have that. So it's very fulfilling to get to write a character who has none of those issues. She has no, she never doubts herself. She never questions if she's doing the right thing. Maybe afterwards she might. But she doesn't... She doesn't have like that kind of insecurity that so

many of us struggle with every day. So it's very satisfying to write. JADE So Lindsay, who is a fellow producer on the pod, and she actually co-wrote some episodes in season two, Lindsay is actually producing my podcast. I have my own podcast coming out later this year. And something that's been so hard for me has been time management. As someone who is ADD and anxious and avoidant and has a hundred jobs, I feel like it's been really hard to break

something as massive as a creative project into, like like manageable tasks and when I think about being you and being handed a fully written YA series and being tasked with the task of breaking it down into 13 digestible episodes, I would I would run away and hide in a hole. So I wanna know, how did you tackle this? How did you get that done? And you did it so well. I just need to understand your process

and like how you, from like a logistics, mental health perspective, like how do you do what you did? Yeah. Thank you so much for listening to my question. No, that's a great, I think that's a great question. I think everybody has their own like creative process and their own things that they have to do to trick themselves into getting work done. I used to only be able to write in binges, but so I could only sit down and write like

an entire episode at once, basically, is how I wrote for the first season. Like I would sit down, I would block off as many hours as I could consecutively, and I would just write as much as I could. And I could only write while eating hot Cheetos and like the hottest Cheetos I could find. And I turned 30 and I did that after I turned 30 and I felt so sick to my stomach with all the hot Cheetos. So now I'm like, what am I supposed to eat?

So now I get those bagged salads because I'm a grownup. But if you're young and you can handle that amount of hot Cheeto dust, hot Cheetos, I like to create little rituals for myself. So I always have like tea, I would have tea and hot Cheetos. And then I would have some sort of sweet snack as well, because you don't wanna get hungry, you know,

and you wanna be able to like keep like shoveling Cheetos into your mouth. So you don't have to get up, you don't have to be interrupted. You just sort of like, this is like so terrible. This is bad advice. But I was not where I was expecting this answer to go. Hot Cheetos is the key of writing a number. It's the only way.

It's actually just like a podcast. It's the only way. It's a constant stream of Cheetos. Stimulation. Yeah. Or you can do like peppermint, but I like spicy food because it kind of like, I don't know, like it kind of like pings in your brain a little bit. I don't know. Can I ask a question pings in your brain a little bit. Um, I don't know.

Can I ask a question? Am I allowed to ask a question? Absolutely. Um, stuff. It was your birthday yesterday. Happy birthday. Oh yeah it was. Um, in the series there's some big feelings around birthdays. How do you feel about birthdays? How do you feel about getting older? Do you have that like any anxieties or fears? Are you happy about it? How do you feel about birthdays? How do you feel about getting older? Do you have that like any anxieties or fears? Are you happy about it? How do you feel about it? Oh my God, Kiana. I feel it's a great question. So I'm a Leo, which means birthdays are everything. And I know there are many people out there that are like, oh, it's my birthday. It's just another day. Oh, it's my birthday. Like, it doesn't mean that much to me.

No, it's my birthday. I entered the world. Let it be known. And so I feel like for me, I have actually struggled a lot. This is real. We're going to get real, gals. I feel like in the past, and I know people listening will understand this, especially if they're Leos, I have gotten... I have a problem sometimes with,

like, building things up too big in my head. I have the classic, like, New Year's Eve syndrome. You know how, like, New Year's Eve is, like, the worst holiday ever because there's so much pressure for it to be this, like, incredible night? And then I feel like because everyone wants it to be so epic, it ends up sometimes not being because it's, like, impossible to, like, be so great. And it's also, like, it's just another day. And, like, you base the... how your year is gonna go based on how this one night

happens to go, and it's, like, the most chaotic night usually of your year and is not indicative at all of, like, the year that's about to occur. And I feel, like like similarly with birthdays, I have always felt an enormous pressure for it to somehow be like the day that I feel the most value, the most loved, the most epic, the most aspirational, the hottest, the prettiest.

Like I have to somehow every year up level the year before. And I feel like what this year has taught me so much is like whenever I feel that feeling and you know that feeling creep up where you're starting to force something I'm like, okay, like let it go let it go because the things that have happened the best in my life or it's always like The date you didn't think you go on but like decided to go anywhere like oh you weren't gonna go out that night But then you were like meh, okay It's always the nights that you, like, had no expectations for that end up becoming the most amazing

thing ever. Like, I feel that way about this podcast. Like, I had no idea that this was gonna happen, and it's, and I just, like, love it, and now I'm just, like, emotionally attached to Emma. And I feel like, you know, I feel like it's the things that are the most organic that are the least... It's almost like when you see a really cute kitten and you're like, I wanna pet it, and then you like kill it because you like squeeze it too hard. Metaphorically. Classic. I've never killed a kitten.

Yeah. But you know what I mean? I just feel like you have to like, like honor that you want something to go well, but like let it be what it's gonna be. And my point is, we've arrived, is that this year, I really embodied that. I was like, okay, I grew up having pool parties at my grandma's pool, and my grandparents have since passed away. That house is like long gone. And I really wanted that and sponsor us. But there's an app called Swimpley. I'm not even joking. Let's like get them to sponsor us.

I'm gonna like I'll like make an ad. But Swimpley is like Airbnb, but you rent people's backyards. And it was amazing. It was like they were fully there, which is like, you know, like a thing, but they were there and like, you know, kept to themselves. But we just rented these this backyard and there was a pool and we couldn't have a ton of people because you only were allowed a certain amount. So that was like a little bit like hard and tricky. And I felt like I didn't get to have everybody that I wanted to have, but we rented a pool

and it was just like lovely. And like my friends, we all have like a hundred jobs and work so hard. A lot of us work in like the service industry or like these like physically like laborious jobs. And it was just so lovely to like float and drink and be merry. And like I bought goggles for everybody,

and we, like, dove for jewels. Like, we were eight years old. I'm fully 33. And it was divine. It was just great. And I feel like... I really... I know that I feel like I'm talking a lot, but I do feel like it's a really important lesson. That, like, can we all just trust more?

And, like, in... It's like that self-fulfilling prophecy where, like, you're... when you're scared that your boyfriend's gonna cheat on you, so you, like, latch on even more, and then by latching on more, you cause him to pull away, which then inevitably causes the cheating. It's like... it's like... Stop, like, assuming that things are gonna go wrong.

Stop assuming that things aren't gonna be amazing. And then in trusting that they're going to be great, they are. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And that's my thought on birthdays. I love that. I'm a big fan of low-key birthdays. Like, I can't do, like, even a big group dinner, I'm like, that's too much, what if people are late?

I can't handle the stress of it. I also just, my final thought about birthdays is that I love, like like an introspective moment. I love, I still have to do it like properly, but like I love like looking back on like, what were my highs and lows of 32? What am I hoping for for 33? Like I, and I think Kiana, you're fine with me saying this,

but you'll let me know and we'll cut it out if not. Like when I met Kiana, you know, I had just recently like figured out I was bisexual and Kiana was like, oh my God, same, right? And then, yes. I'm a lesbian recently, like, figured out I was bisexual, and Kiana was like, oh, my God, same! Right? I think. Yeah, it's fine. I'm a lesbian. I'm gay. And I feel like... Oh! Oh, my God!

And Kiana's gay. And, like, I just feel like I'm, like, coming into, like, my sexual awakening and, like, my sexuality awakening and, like, accepting my identity awakening. And, like, Kiana, when we met, I, like, reached out to her because, like, being cast as Lucy was, like, the biggest deal of my fucking life. And I reached out to Kiana and was just like, Kiana, when we met, I, like, reached out to her because, like, being cast as Lucy was, like, the biggest deal of my fucking life. And I reached out to Kiana.

I was just like, can we grab coffee? And then I realized that she was, like, the gay lesbian icon that we've all been needing and has written one of the most iconic gay characters of all time, which is Val. And I just feel like... And Francesca just slays... So good.

...the performance. And so good. And I just feel like not to get like so completely off topic, but like I just, it makes me so proud to be part of something that's just so casually queer. It's not a big deal. It's not even like a thing. It's just the reality.

And it's just amazing. And so I feel like part of my 33 is I want to like explore that side of myself. And I want to be free to do so. Thank you. Love that. Yeah no okay everything I write is like just a little bit gay I think it has well the world is a little bit gay. What is the percent like 24% of Gen Z or something like something? It's all it's so I'm about 24% everything I write is about 24% gay, at least, at least, at minimum, just for accuracy sake

and for fun. But yeah, that's amazing. OK, I love a gay goal. Love a gay goal. We love a gay goal. Yeah, Emma, what's your gay goal? Emma, I don't know how she identifies. I'm pretty positive she identifies as straight,

but you know what? We can all have a gay goal. It's all inclusive. Yeah. You know, I am straight, but I am all for the gay goals. Yeah, okay. It's great. Nothing else to say.

Mic drop, that's it. You know, have some gay goals in your life, gals. I think we can make Pride merch or something that says that I'm straight, but I love it I Love it. I love a gay hashtag ally. She's a gay goal ally Alright guys, so jumping into our first question. This one is written So I'll be reading it to you and it is anonymous, but she is from Tennessee Hey, Lucy, how do you politely tell a friend?

They only talk about themselves and you don't feel like they care about your part of a conversation? I have a friend who only talks about herself and I'm really tired of not feeling valued as someone who tends to talk a lot about themselves I Understand this very deeply both as a person that has experienced this but also might be a perpetrator of this So here's the thing, I think similar to the advice I gave the other day, I feel like we have to just give our friends the benefit of the doubt. It's very possible that your friend has no idea that she's doing this and it's just a totally like unconscious behavior.

I think also what's important to note is we all know these people, we've all experienced them, I think sometimes and I understand this especially from myself, that if you grow up in a family where the dynamic was like no one's gonna like ask you, it's just like, oh, like why would I ask? I assume you're just gonna tell me and so this friend for instance could be someone who has just been raised in an environment or just like has been socially programmed. I sometimes do this to think like, oh, like I'm gonna tell you everything that's going on with me, and then it's like assumed like, and then of course you should too, but some people totally fairly are like, oh no, like, but like why would I share something if I wasn't expressly asked?

And so I think I would start just to like ease the tension, start by just like starting, you know, you know, just taking it upon yourself to talk more about yourself and see how she reacts. If you feel like even when you do that, she still responds by like making it more about her. That's really hard. And it's like how do you bring that up without it feeling really personal? I think there's a way to do it that's really like, kind and thoughtful and I think you could, I think it's totally fair to be like, hey, like, I, I so know that you probably don't mean this in any kind of way, but sometimes I feel like when we catch up, it's a lot of you talking to me about what's happening with you, but I feel like you don't

really ask me a ton about me and that can just make me feel like maybe you just like, don't want to know or don't care and I'm sure her reaction is gonna be just make me feel like maybe you just like don't want to know or Don't care and I'm sure her reaction is gonna be like, oh my god, of course I do and I'm so sorry and I will like try You know to be better I think if you of course would never phrase it this way if you're like, hey you talk a lot about yourself and it's annoying Everyone like that's not gonna get a great reaction. But if you're like, hey when you do this, it can make me feel xyz way I think people I think your friends do wanna know how their behavior makes their friends feel.

And I think it's really important to bring it up in a really like, in like the nicest way possible, in my opinion. Gals? I agree with you completely that like, sometimes it feels intrusive to me to ask someone, so how's it going with your relationship? Like it feels so direct, feels so direct to do that.

So I definitely think just talk about yourself. Just talk about yourself. I think the classic girl thing when you're hanging out with your friends is interrupting your friend while they're talking mid-sentence and saying, oh my God, I forgot to tell you, and then just launching into a monologue

about something you wanted to talk about. I think that's a normal part of girl behavior. So I think that you should kind of steal that and try that and do it. And I also, sometimes people really don't know what to say to other people. Like I have this like issue sometimes with my partner where I'm also the chatty one in the relationship And I'm the chatty Cathy of the relationship And so sometimes I'll finish saying something and she'll just be like, yeah, that's crazy And to me, I'm like, that's all you're gonna say like you're not gonna ask me questions

You're not gonna respond you're not gonna you know know. So I have gotten into the habit of being like, asking her direct questions. So what do you think about that? Do you think that's crazy? Have you ever heard of something like that? Like to come up, kind of come up with like, like discussion questions to prompt an answer out of the other person.

So if you do feel like when you talk about yourself, the friend isn't responding or engaging with what you're saying, you might have to really like, Socratic seminar, pull it out of her. But also, I kind of feel like, not every friend is gonna be your emotional support friend. Like, I think you can have friends

that are just kind of fun friends that you just go out drinking with and go to events with and whatever. And not every friend of yours is going to be the person who you want to open up to. So I don't know if this is a best friend situation or I don't know. But yeah, not all of my friends ask me all the time and know all the details about the more serious stuff in my life. I think that's fair, Kiana. Like, I think there's... We talked about this last episode too with Nick.

Like, there's different friends for different reasons and different seasons. And at the end of the day, is this a person that you enjoy being around or not? If they're sucking all of your energy, if they're making everything about themselves and you think they're fundamentally cannot change, but maybe you enjoy going out with them once a month or occasionally catching up.

I think that's okay. I think you can compartmentalize it. But if you really think it is a really valuable friendship that you care a lot about and you think that they'll be receptive to, I think like Steph said, I think that's a perfect script for how you address it. You can come into it in a very polite, considerate way

and see what they say. Cause odds are they might not know that they're doing this. Yeah, but definitely like bottom line is if you're walking away from interactions with this person feeling like blah, like feeling like negative or bad about yourself or whatever, like definitely the right move is to have some kind of conversation

or to take some space or compartmentalize or, like, do something different because, like, what you don't want to do is just harbor resentment and let it build up and then, like, say something like, you only ever talk about yourself, which, if somebody told me that, I would, like, remember that for the rest of my life. I would... I know. Don't say it like that.

Don't say it like that. Well, in this, you're so, you're hitting on something so true, which is like, this is one of those really insidious thoughts, where it's like the second you notice it, it just feels like impossible to ignore. And you're right, it's like, we all know these people. I think you, like you said, if this is like a best friend or someone you want to be like a really core member of your inner circle, it's worth bringing up.

If this is someone that you kind of just outgrown, there are a lot of people that come with us from high school, college, early 20s. You start to know these people that like, oh yeah, they just kind of like use me as a way to brag about what they're doing, and there's no substance here. Then maybe it's just like, let it go

and just like invest in, in deeper people. Well, on that note, let's take a quick break. And when we're back, we're going to answer a question about a crush. Hey guys, it's Emma from the Royals of Malibu and Emerald Audio. I don't know about you, but everything seems to be getting more and more expensive these days. That's why I absolutely love saving money on my online shopping with Rakuten. Rakuten is the smartest way to save money when you shop because you can earn cash back at over 3,500 stores. We're talking fashion, beauty, electronics, home essentials, travel, dining,

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That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N. Your cashback really adds up. Who wants his last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling. Winning in an exciting live dealer studio. Exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. All right, guys, we're back. Ready for question two. This one's also anonymous.

I'm so ready. It's an audio recording too. Oh, here we go. Hi Lucy. I was hoping to get your advice because I've had a crush on this boy for a really long time and he just told me that he likes me too! It's really exciting. The only problem is is my best friend also likes this same boy and I don't know what to do because I really, really don't want to hurt her feelings. So, if you have any advice, let me know.

Wow. Classic. Classic love triangle. Okay, look, the thing is, like, the only thing more, like, powerful than true love is a crush. I swear. People will do crazy things for love, but for a crush, people go bananas. People lose their minds. They, like, betray their own values. Like, crazy stuff happens around crushes. Like, people would say, like, oh, Romeo and Juliet, they only knew each other for three days. Romeo and Juliet would have never happened

if they'd known each other for years. I'm telling you, that is crush behavior. That's crush behavior, because you're projecting all of these things that you love. Crush behavior. You're projecting all these things that you are fantasizing about. You're putting it onto this other person,

and you don't know them that well. So you can kind of just put whatever you want on there. So all that to say is that I think there's a world in which someone might say like, oh, well think like, do you value your friendship more than the boy, like da-da-da, whatever. But I think once you have a crush and it's to the point where you're telling each other

that you like each other, like you are unstoppable. You are gonna pursue this. There's no stopping you. Your behavior is unstoppable, truly. So I think at that point, it's like you just gotta be real with your friend. And as honest as you can be with her is great, right? Like you don't wanna rub it in her face,

but to just pull her aside or text her or whatever and be like, hey, I wanna talk to you about Crush Boy. And you know, we've been talking for a long time. I find that we have all these things in common, da da da. I really like him. He told him that he likes me and I'm pretty sure we're gonna go out. Like you just gotta tell her.

I know it's like your instinct is gonna be to like, oh, and I don't know what's gonna happen. And I don't even know if he likes me, you just gotta tell her, you gotta tell her. And then I think you also have to acknowledge that like it is, it might have an impact on your friendship and she might be salty about it. And like, you just gotta kind of live with that.

I don't know if this is good advice, but I just think that it's, I'm dealing with the inevitable, which is that you're not gonna put your friendship over the crush. That's not how crushes work. You're so right about crushes. I've never thought about it that way.

They're so over consuming, way more than me. That's what people- Your long relationship with someone. Yes, okay, when people talk about why is it harder to get over a situation shift than a real breakup? People get stuck in situationships forever. You're stuck in the situationship because it's a situationship, because you can put

whatever ideas you want into this person who you don't actually know. You don't know their family. You don't hang out with their, you know, all these things. You're prolonging a crush. A crush is a dangerous thing. You got to either flee the crush or you gotta get to know the person because you're like, you don't act like yourself when you have that going on in your head.

It's so hard because I am someone who for a really long time would just for the sake of being a people pleaser, like not not pursue anything if it was gonna upset, like, any friend of mine. And I feel like I don't know how to, like, pretend... I could give the, like, canned answer to this, but I kind of feel like what I've loved about doing this show is just giving, like, what I as Stephanie would say versus, like, a more, like, fake generic answer. And so it's hard for me because, like, I'm someone who felt really responsible

for all of my friends throughout middle school, throughout high school. Even in college, it's like, I really, I didn't, I really struggled with how do I prioritize dating, especially in a moment where I could, like, interrupt or ruin a friendship. And I feel like what I learned like way too late from like more like well adjusted friends of mine is that like a friend will support a friend is a good friend if they like support something that makes you happy.

And I think it's actually like kind of oddly healing to answer this question now. Cause I feel like in a way I'm saying it to like a younger version of myself, but it's like it will feel like to that friend perhaps that you're like betraying her and you're taking away something that she had wanted. But I think there's a lot of valid things to be said here. One is like would that friend do you the same honor? Like if the guy had chosen your friend, would she forego it for your sake? Like, probably not. And not in, like, a shitty way.

I just mean that, like, I will always, like, follow my own sword, thinking I'm doing the right thing. And then you kind of realize, like, would everybody else? Because, like, everybody else is just, like, going for number one, going for themselves. Why am I constantly, like, overaccompanied everybody else's needs? And at the end of the day, it's kind of like,

it's so similar to how I used to really struggle with, like, going out for the same parts as my friends, because all of my friends are professional actors. And you really, like, you reach such a healthy place. This is why I'm really glad I'm doing this show in my 30s, because I have, like, some wisdom to share, which is that, like, I reach such a healthy place. This is why I'm really glad I'm doing this show in my 30s, because I have, like, some wisdom to share. Which is that, like, I really do believe that, like... Brave tangent.

So, uh, I took a stand-up class, and I made some of my, like, nearest and dearest friends in this stand-up class. One of them is this incredible... She's had a million jobs at the time, was doing casting for Making the Cut, which is an Amazon, like, fashion show with Heidi and Tim.

And it's kind of like Project Runway, but it's like a different one. Anyway, I met this woman who ended up being on the show, and she got really, really far. And her name is Meghan Renee, and she's iconic, and she's the most amazing fashion designer I've ever met. And she literally, when we were doing auditions and I was like helping these, you know, designers in and out, everyone was so nervous and she wasn't. I went up

to her and I was like, why are you so chill right now? And she was like, oh, I mean, I just like, really believe that like what's meant for me is meant for me and there's nothing I can do to make it not meant for me. And so if I'm meant to be on this show, there is nothing I can do to make it not meant for me. And so, if I'm meant to be on this show, there is nothing I could do to interrupt that happening. And if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. And I just thought that was unreal. It's like, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be and there's nothing you could do to make it not meant to be because it's meant to be. So, it's like, you can bomb the audition and you can whatever, but like, if it's yours, it's yours. And if it's not, it's not. And that's okay. And it was meant for someone else and it was someone else's to have, and yours is coming, and I always think about that,

and I feel like it is relevant to dating because it's like, while your friend might think that this boy was meant for her, like the reality is he likes you, and you like him, and so even though it hurts, like she can find solace, and like okay, so clearly like this boy was not meant for me, like someone else is. And so it's like, and who are you to stand in the way of something that's meant for someone else, even though it hurts, because by the way, like, friend, the person you're supposed to be with is the person who chooses you. And so if he chooses her, that's not your person.

And that's okay. And like, she's meant to go through this right now. So, I know I'm kind of getting a little meandering but the point is is like you got to follow like what's feeling right for your life and a good friend will understand that and will understand that and this has taken me a really long time to learn that another friend's success is not your failure and I struggle with that to this day. All of my friends are getting engaged, all of my friends are getting married, all of my friends are booking engaged. All of my friends are getting married. All of my friends are booking like job after job after job and and seemingly up leveling all the time. And it does push me to like want that more for myself.

But it also just you just have to trust that the winds are coming your way too. And they are. That's a beautiful answer. Yeah, I love that. I think the only question I have, I think it's interesting that she's aware that her friend likes him, but it seems like the friend is not aware that she was also interested in him. I know, the friend's gonna be salty about that. Yeah. And I think that, of course, like you said, Steph, he chose her in the end. But I think if you, taking a few steps back, if you feel like you have a crush on this guy

and then your friend also says you have a crush, she has a crush on the guy, I think from that point you need to be upfront and say, look, I also like him too. If he likes you, great, but if he likes me, I'd really like to explore this as well. I've definitely been in the situation where I've liked someone, and I've told a friend that I like someone,

and then she went and, like, made a move on him without even telling me. And I just was like, it's fine. Like, if you guys end up, like, loving each other and getting married and whatever, like, I'm happy for you. Just tell me that. It just... It's just, like, a little sus. Like, if'm happy for you. Just tell me that. And that's my end. It's just like a little sus. Like, if you're really friends with someone, like, you should communicate,

you should have enough respect for your friend first to be like, look, I really like this guy. I'm gonna see if there is something there, but I want you to know I care about you too and I care about your feelings and I wanna tell you first. I think that over-communicating that is very important. And who knows, maybe this is just like a little crush

like she's had for like a week or so and she has crushes on like three other guys. That could be, that very well could be the case here and I think that's totally fine. I think she'll get over it and you can still have a great friendship but I think it's all about communicating that and showing the friend that you still respect them and that this is what your heart is really telling

you you need to do. Yeah, you cannot. Don't make false promises either. If it makes you uncomfortable, then I won't, whatever. Don't do that. Oh, I hate that. Yeah, people do that all the time. I know they do it all the time.

That's what I would have done. You're saving yourself tears later on. Yeah. People do that. I know they do it all the time. That's what I would have done. You're saving yourself tears later on. Yeah. Wait, Steph. From the second you know, you got it communicated. Yes. Steph, when you said, oh, I won't go after it if it makes you uncomfortable, did you literally not go after it or did you kind of like still text him? I don't know. That's a great question. I feel like there was not like this exact situation where it's like my best friend and I like same boy. Yeah, did I? I just think in general, I have for a really long time

just defaulted to putting my hands up. So you like squashed your feelings. I wonder if like, I don't know. Sometimes I have friends who like only have crushes on people who are unattainable, which I think is very normal when you're younger too. Oh yeah, that is me. You're like, I'm just gonna have a crush on this person that I could never go after

and then I don't have to go after anyone. I definitely have done that too. Okay, but I do have like a funny story semi-related to this and like theater girl lives. Okay. I'm a lesbian. I'm gay. I've never experienced Romantic or sexual attraction for men. It's just not how my brain works So when I was growing up, I still wanted boyfriends because all the cool girls had boyfriends But I couldn't tell on my own Like I didn't have straight door. I didn't have like hot guy like ability

to like track who was hot, I have no idea, like I can't do it. So I only knew if a guy was hot, if other girls liked him. So I had like the worst reputation as a high schooler for always going after the boys that other girls liked, because I had no concept of who was hot or not, unless other girls had crushes. Um, so I had a lot of girls that were very salty with me

for a long time. Sorry about that. And I was gay, and I was gay the whole time. What was the point, Kiana? The whole time. I know. I know, I know. It's so funny. It's like, do I like this guy,

or do I just like that he's the thing to attain? Oh, my God. Do's like, do I like this guy or do I just like that he's the thing to attain? Oh my god, that was so... Do I like the idea of him? Yes, that is, that was my whole high school life for sure. It caused a lot of issues. All right guys, let's jump into the last question of the day. So this question is from... Oh, that's from... Savannah and she's from Australia. Whoa.

No way. Please do it in an Australian accent. Oh yeah. Oh my God. I'm gonna insult her. Good on you, mate. Oh no. Oh no, Emma. I just know H2O words. That TV show, H2O Mermaids.

Oh, no. Maybe like, I didn't have cable, so I didn't know. I missed all this. Can't say I have. It's okay. Never mind. It's about these three Australian mermaids, and it's the best show ever created. It feels like a stereotype of Australia.

No? Why are mermaids always Australian? Hmm. The ocean, I don't know. Oh, the ocean. Anyway, I really do not want to offend Savannah from Australia, so forgive me not always Australian. Hmm. The ocean. I don't know. Oh, the ocean. Anyway, I really do not want to offend Savannah from Australia, so forgive me not doing an Australian accent because I will just offend you because I am very bad at it. Here we go.

We ready? Yeah. Yeah. Hi, Em and Steph. I'm 26 years old and I feel very lost at the moment. I still don't know what I want to do and I've tried a lot of different industries and feel like I've lost direction. Would love to hear your advice. Love you both and love, love, love all the shows. It's my happy place." Wait, yay. I love that something we do make

someone happy. That's it. That's all I have to say. Um, wait, Emma, I feel like we haven't given you a chance to start, so please start. Yeah, the resident 26 year old. No? Aren't you 26? Yeah. Yes. Okay. This is an interesting one. This is something that I often think about as a 26 year old and someone that kind of pivoted from the film TV industry to now to podcasting. And also still very early in her career and still figuring things out.

And I think this is kind of a controversial opinion. But I do think the best advice I've ever heard is to follow your talent, not necessarily your passion. Mm-hmm. I think it's very easy... Wow. I think it's very easy for a lot of rich people to tell you follow your passion

because they've already made it there, and they don't... To them, it was... They found success, but most people, truthfully, don't always find success in what their passion was when they were younger. That's not to say what you're really talented at can't become your passion.

I think my advice to young people and something I've been focusing on is making sure you're really darn good at something, whatever it is, become the ninja in that, and that will become more fulfilling and that can become your passion. I think it's also important to look at the industry, like check out all the industries.

Where is there a hole? Where is there more need? Where is there more need? What is changing this year that I can differentiate myself from other people and become the best at that? And I think if you love the arts, if you love sports, and you always wanted to be a professional, whatever it was, I'm not saying to give that up.

I think it's so important to have hobbies and have creative outlets and maybe later on in your life, once you become a billionaire, whatever the heck you're becoming a ninja at, you can still find your way back to that and incorporate that into your life. But I think when you're young, it's really important to find a way

to differentiate yourself and focus on what you are really good at and then kind of navigate from there. I completely agree. And I feel like it's very relevant. Emma, that was incredible. That was not a word. Emma, that was incredible. And I, yeah, it's so similar to, like, my path. So I, like everyone, came out of college, and I'm like, I'm an actor, I'm going to be on television by the time I'm 30, no question. Like, I feel like I wanted to be kind of what Rachel Sennett already is.

Like, I'm gonna be like the funny neurotic... You know I know Rachel and I went to college together. Oh, my gosh. I like the funny neurotic Jew. You know I know Rachel and I went to college together. Oh, my gosh. I used to production design her sets. Whoa. Oh, my God. I have so many thoughts. Yes, we should talk about that later. I'm sorry.

We should. I have so... I think she's incredible. I totally interrupted you about to say something. Cool, though. No, no, no. I think she's like so talented and I'm just jealous. Anyway. I feel like my point is like so talented and I'm just jealous. Anyway, I feel like my point is like I, when I graduated, like, you know, we've been talking about, I majored in theater, I, you know, have been an actor for my whole life and, you know, I was like,

that's what I'm gonna do. And I felt like I kept not booking things where I had to transform into someone else, but I was only ever booking when things were like exactly like me or like one degree of separation from me and then I feel like and I was like, okay, and then I moved to LA and again, I'm trying to be an actor. I'm trying to transform and it's never it never really felt right. I longed so much, like kind of what you're saying about, like, my passion was trying to figure out how I could be the best, most transformative actor I could be, and time and time again, I was just given more and more and more things where I was either literally myself or playing a version of myself or asked to, like, talk as me, and, like like a really interesting moment in my like journey, I can't even remember

like what specific audition this was, but when you start auditioning for commercials, there will be certain ones that come up where they're like, oh yeah, I'm like in your slate, just like tell us a story about XYZ or tell us your thoughts on XYZ and then go into the scene. And I would hear all my actor friends like be like, oh, I fucking hate when like we have to talk, like just let me do my job, which is the acting. And I was like, oh, like that's my favorite part, is the talking. And that's my favorite part,

is when I get to just be me, because I know how to be me, but I'm not confident in my ability to be her, this other person. So my friends that I feel like are true actors, are the ones that like, maybe honestly feel uncomfortable as themselves and feel the most at home in with like the guys of a character. I feel the complete opposite.

And so all of a sudden I was like, oh, I guess I have to go with this, even though it's like not what I thought I'd do. Like what I'm best at is playing me and being me and maybe like, maybe that's okay. And then all of a sudden it was like, boom, I got into standup, I started booking like Buzzfeed series, I started booking whatever, like other things. And you know, and I feel like voiceover was more of me like finding my voice and that's obviously what led to Rosamalibu, which, spoiler alert,

I'm playing people that are exactly like me. And it's like, so I think it's like, oh my God, I think you're right. It's like, if I had been super resistant because I was so attached to this idea of what I wanted, which was to be this incredible actor, and I felt like it wasn't as talented or as cool to just be playing myself, and then once I embraced it and embraced what I was good at, which was like, yeah, I have friends of mine who you know and are famous and can become anyone. And I realized that my superpower was just being me. And so I think to answer the question and to reference what Emma just said, where in your life are people like telling you,

oh, my God, you're so good at this, or you're so good at that, or like you're... What are you like exceptionally good at, or what makes you feel the most in flow and start there? And then that's what's, and that's what's going to really take off. I never expected to get into podcasting like this and to be so fulfilled by it. And so I think be open to the fact that you might not even know what could be super fulfilling to you until you try it.

Let go of the idea that you have for yourself and really look at what are you actually good at. When I was like 25 or something, I was still trying to do the acting thing and I couldn't book anything. I couldn't book shit. And also all the scripts were so bad. Like eight years ago, it was like, there's nothing,

there was like nothing to audition for. I was constantly playing like the girlfriend or like the victim of a terrible crime. I was always typecast as like a victim of a terrible thing. And it really weighs on you. And I was like, I'm very unhappy doing this. And when I was like 24 or something, I was like, I need to figure out what I'm very unhappy doing this. And when I was like 24 or something, I was like, I need to figure out what I'm doing.

And I applied to a bunch of acting grad schools and one writing school. And I got into some of the acting ones and I got into one writing one. And I was like, yep, this one. And at the time I had never written a screenplay. I'd never written, like I really didn't have any writing experience.

I just was like, no, I think that this is gonna work out for me. And now I'm, this, like I really didn't have any writing experience. I just was like, no, I think that this is going to work out for me. And now I'm, this is like my job. My like full-time job is writing silly little romance stories and Royals in Malibu. I don't count that as a silly one. I feel very passionate about the artistic value of the Royals in Malibu. But yeah, now it's, it's my like full-time thingtime thing, and it worked out really well, and I'm so much happier doing this than I was when I was auditioning for stuff.

It just wasn't the right fit for me. I just had this idea in my mind. I don't know if it's because it's what I'd always done, but I had this idea in my mind that I need to just keep auditioning for everything. And then once I stopped auditioning, I became a lot happier, honestly. I would say my final actionable advice

for our friend Savannah in Australia is write down your top five qualities or skillsets. Maybe you're very social and great at meeting new people. You could be really great at sales. Maybe you're really a really fast focused worker. Maybe you could be a great at sales. Maybe you're really a really fast focused worker. Maybe you could be a fantastic computer programmer. Maybe you are a very nurturing person. We need more nurses.

Like there are so many different industries that need you and your skillsets and work backwards from there. But write those five things down and then research what the best jobs are for those qualities and then kick ass at it. Because everyone has that potential. And then you just gotta find it

and then you'll be golden. You got it. You got it. I'm really into that. From those listening, I just did like a fist bump. To get to like the main message of like talent versus passion, like I said, in that like I came at this wanting to be an actor, and now I'm kind of on this like podcasting more hosty journey,

just trust that like you can find your way back to where you started. Like Kiana's been writing for the last decade, but like she very well may act again, and if she wants to, she will. It's like, and to just trust that, like, you can always find your way back to your passions. But in terms of finding, like, a path in life, I think, yes, start with, like, what feels the least resistant. Love that. And everyone listening today,

please follow up with us. We want to hear how you're doing, all three writers slash callers today. Keep us posted. Kiana, I have adored you since the moment we met at that Culver City coffee shop. And I adore you. And I am so honored and grateful that you joined us today on the pod. Oh my gosh. Okay. I had so much fun. This is like a really fun time. I honestly forgot that we were recording sometimes. And I love hearing like both of your perspectives and I love hearing from the people who listen to the podcast and hopefully we'll have more episodes for you soon.

Awesome. Thank you so much, Kiana. But when? I wish I knew. I would don't DM me. I don't know when. And just like that, another Latte to Lucy in the can, in the coffee can. We want your questions. Head to emeraldaudio.co slash Lattes with Lucy to submit your voice memo or to write in your question or check out our Instagram at the Royals of Malibu to learn how you can submit a question of your own.

As you know, all questions can totally remain anonymous. No topic is too cringe or too embarrassing. And we are seriously here for you. We really are. We believe in this so fully. We are here to be the Lucy to your Ella, the Ella to your Val anytime, anywhere. Come back next Monday for more and be sure to follow the show at the Royals of Malibu, Emerald Audio at Emerald Audio Network, and of course me, Stephanie Sherry at It's Steph Sherry. Thank you all so much!