The Ryen Russillo Podcast - Lions Win Bigger Than Chiefs Loss, Super Bowl Picks, and NFL Trade Value Rankings With Sheil Kapadia
Episode Date: September 8, 2023Russillo opens the show with his takeaways from Lions-Chiefs and shares his Super Bowl picks for the season (1:00). Next, he’s joined by The Ringer’s Sheil Kapadia to talk through his trade value ...rankings and go through some mock trade scenarios (14:00). Then, Ceruti and Kyle join to make this week’s Alliance Parlay (52:00) before they close the show with some listener-submitted Life Advice questions (57:00). The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please check out theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Host: Ryen Russillo Guest: Sheil Kapadia Producers: Steve Ceruti, Kyle Crichton, and Mike Wargon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Before we get started on the show, a reminder that we're going to be in Oxford, Mississippi
on Friday, September 29th before LSU Ole Miss for a live podcast from The Lyric in Oxford.
So if you're in town, stop by, hang out with me, Kyle Cerruti, and our guy Van Lathan
is going to be with us on the show. It's going to be starting at 2 p.m. local time. Again,
go to thelyricoxford.com to get your tickets while they last. That's thelyricoxford.com.
On today's show, breaking down Thursday Night Football, big win for the Lions. What does it
mean and what it means for me, for Mahomes, to have that second ring and my Super Bowl picks.
Shil Kapati on his Super Bowl picks and his NFL trade value column.
We'll debate some of those values.
And of course, life advice.
And don't forget, the Alliance rolls on week three, our college football parlay.
This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats.
Winter is here, so be prepared and get almost anything delivered with Uber Eats.
What do I mean by almost anything? Well, you can't get a ski slope, but dish soap,
definitely doable. Sunshine, that's no. A bottle of wine, yeah. And a snow day, again, no. But
blueberry muffins with the delicious crumb topping, total yes. Get almost, almost anything
delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability may vary by I'm going to start with a little reaction to last night's NFL season opener on Thursday Night Football
and then land on my Super Bowl picks, conference championship games, AFC, NFC.
I'm not going to go through every single division.
Okay, Detroit gets the win here, and it feels like a big deal.
Detroit has been kind of a sexy pick. We like the way they closed the season last
year, winning eight to 10. We like the offense. We like the OC. We don't like the defense because
those are problematic. So you beat the defending champs at their place, Arrowhead, not an easy
place to play. And so I'll admit, going through the first half and I'm watching it play out and
I'm like, okay, other than the fake punt, which was brilliantly timed that early, like, yeah, we're just going to start doing this stuff now. The other possessions, there were four of them for Detroit for four possessions, four drives, 97 total yards. So they've got the one touchdown at the half.
pick six. And it's turning into one of those NFL games. You're like, okay, this is a tie game.
And I think Kansas City is better than them. And by the way, I probably still think Kansas City is better than them, but it's just the way the NFL goes. So the last touchdown drive for
Detroit, they converted on a third and 12. A defense, which last year, let's check out some
of these numbers again. Last year, defensively, Detroit was last in opposing yards. They were fifth worst
in opposing points per game or opponents points per game, whatever you want to say. Kansas City
was only 5-15 on third down last night, 33%. Last year, Detroit was 30th in the NFL against
third downs. Teams converted to 45%. Whatever you think of the game, a Detroit defense that was the biggest question mark
held Kansas City to six points in the second half.
And some of that's the young guys, whether it's Brian Branch, who had the pick six.
When you watched him in college, he was always in it.
He always felt like he was doing the right thing.
Great background.
So he's a player I really like.
Jack Campbell, who a lot of us were like,
okay, is that the priority in the draft
to go in that position?
And you saw his drop into coverage
and breaking up that one big pass play.
Again, it's not like I had the L-22 on him the entire time.
And then Aiden Hutchinson,
who I thought was awesome last night,
like constantly disruptive.
And he kept that energy up the entire time.
So you add that to him, add him to the rest of the mix on defense. You're like, maybe they do have something
here. Maybe this front office has really nailed it the last couple of years. And Goff, who under
Ben Johnson has looked like a much better quarterback, even though last night wasn't
exactly lighting it up. So it's playing out like a perfect NFL game. And if you're holding Kansas
City to in the second half,
three punts and then being stopped on downs,
and then Detroit can run out the clock by converting a first down on the
ground.
That's something,
right?
It's,
it's something,
even though there's no way I would ever open the show on a Friday being
like,
man,
we really is going to start questioning the chiefs and wow,
the lions are for real because I left it going,
okay,
wait a minute.
Kansas City second and third best player didn't play last night.
Another guy,
they spent money on a free agency on the defensive line wasn't available as well. I don't think there's much debate that Kelsey would be number two and Chris
Jones might be number three. I don't even know. Sometimes I think Chris Jones is the second best
player on the Chiefs and Kelsey Jones has a contract deal. So that's all part of it.
So I think it's both things. It really is. It detroit showing something defensively that is very hard
to do even in a night where kansas city's receivers are having a drop fest cadera's tony who they
brought over from the giants remember him florida like i really liked him and what i saw last night
i was like this is a this is a mess uh there was a huge drop on a third down and it still even looked
like there was a chance my home was going to pull this thing off fourth and 20 and then Juwan Taylor who looked like uh it was a false start every single time he would
drop back in pass protection which also seemed like a bit of a tell there because you know
whenever you're watching you watch the line and ball snap you're like wait is that guy going early
every single time and they started to break it down it became part of the broadcast the entire
thing of course when they call it they call it like the worst time, fourth and 25. And you're still wondering if Mahomes is going to figure
out a way to pull this off. But again, three punts, turnover on downs to do that to that
offense other than the field goal drives. That's a huge win for on paper defense. We feel like as
much improved, but statistically last season, granted different guys, was a disaster. There's
also a part of the Lions story that I am rooting for, and it brings it back to the Dion thing, which I do not think is specific to Dion as much as I
mentioned earlier this week. When people doubt you, that's the only doubt you really care about.
You're not paying attention to everybody else's doubt, especially when you have something that's
really important to do. But Dan Campbell is the poster child of the football guy that people that hate the football guy culture would hate.
You know, he was super passionate, right?
The speeches were like, what's going on here?
They weren't winning a ton of games in the beginning.
Like, this is a joke.
This guy's a meathead.
What the fuck are they doing?
Why would they give this guy a head coaching gig? And whenever you're different
and wrong, and I've mentioned this plenty of times, but when you try to do something different
and it's wrong, it's way worse than being the same and being wrong. And Campbell was doubted.
And maybe we have a guy here, not that it's like, hey, who's the next rock eater that we can go give the reins to
of our franchise.
I'm not saying that that's necessarily
going to happen,
but I kind of like seeing him
potentially really turn this franchise around,
a franchise that when you start looking
at the playoff draft,
you're like, how are these numbers even real?
What was it again?
How many playoff wins?
What are we talking about?
50 years for some of this stuff?
So I like that part of it. There's also a pivot to Mahomes, even in the loss, where it's something I wanted to talk
about before the season got going here, is that last year's Super Bowl win for Mahomes is probably
one of my favorite rings for a player that I have no emotional attachment to in recent history.
for a player that I have no emotional attachment to in recent history.
And this is someone that now has played in five straight AFC conference championship games.
And it was a little weird because he had six picks in two of the Super Bowls and the conference championship game lost to Cincinnati going back two years ago. So it was like, yeah,
can he get a little turnover prone? Can he start to make some mistakes?
Because this will happen.
You know, sometimes we'll think like none of these guys
are ever supposed to throw any picks.
And even the pick six last night
wasn't even close to being on Mahomes.
But it'd be like, oh, and the biggest, you know,
the light's the brightest.
You know, what if he loses this Super Bowl
against Philadelphia?
You know, then he's one and two.
What if he throws another pick?
It's like, okay, his actual touchdown interception ratio in the playoffs, 35 touchdowns, seven picks. It's just
at six of them, again, two of the Super Bowls in a conference championship game that we all loved
against Cincinnati. Last year in 100 attempts throughout the entire postseason, he threw zero
picks. But there was also the Colts game that was weird. And then you were like, is something wrong?
He doesn't have Tyreek Hill.
And some of the doubt is just stupid, right? Some of the doubt is just there to zag.
We had a guy on at the beginning of the year who was like, they stink. Tyreek Hill's gone. They're
not going to be the same. Jimmy Johnson even said, remember that last year? He's like, I'd rather
have Justin Herbert. And you're thinking like, how can somebody like Jimmy Johnson, who I don't think is exactly like a take quake guy, right? How could he spend a lifetime in football and watch Mahomes
and want anyone over him? And those are the kinds of things we flirted with last year.
So that's back to the original point. That's why I'm so glad he got that Super Bowl,
even though I didn't really necessarily care who won that game. But I'm glad because I felt like
that should at least put
an end to the idea that he's not Superman. He may not have the cape on every single week. He's going
to have some bad games, but I don't think anybody should ever be allowed to say any of that shit
about him ever again. And that's what that ring defines. Even if they had lost a close game to
Philadelphia, I'm still looking at the same dude. But that's kind of just what happens.
And a lot of times when I'll think about different arguments that are out there, I'm like, sometimes I think I'm rooting against
an argument more than I'm actually rooting for the player. And that's definitely what's happened
with Mahomes, at least for me. If I went and looked back at rings that I was like, man,
I'm really glad that guy got one, even though I'm not rooting for it. I would want the best
to have their ring because the conversation will never be the same. If they're one of those rare dudes,
it's like, you know, who's really, really good, but it just never sort of happened. And it's like,
we're not allowed to classify that guy as the same as the others. You know, I'm thrilled personally
about Pedro getting one in 2004. It wasn't about the Red Sox ending the curse. That was obviously
a huge part of it, but I was just like, I can't imagine Pedro Martinez not having a ring considering
he's the best pitcher I've ever seen. And that's kind of how I look at
it with Mahomes. Not that I'm ready to say he's the best quarterback. He may be the best we've
ever seen play the position, but he's got a lot of work to do on the resume. But one and two out
of the Super Bowls going into this year, oh, are they the same? Are they the same? Is he really
that guy? Is Josh Allen maybe a little bit better than him? The Jimmy Johnson stuff? I think last
year's win means you can't do any of that stuff, even if there's going to be a week where he may not look
as perfect as we're accustomed to. All right, so that works perfectly into me not picking them to
win the Super Bowl or win the AFC. Why am I doing that? I just think it's hard. I think it's hard
to repeat. Mahomes is kind of turning into the San Antonio Spurs for me, where I've picked them. I've referenced that before, I think 10 straight years to win the West because I was just like, whatever, stunking. So I don't necessarily want to do that again. I'm trying to try to zag here a little bit because it feels like the top teams are clearly the top teams, but this is the NFL, last night being an example of that.
last night being an example of that.
I'm going to have the Bills over Kansas City in the AFC.
Maybe a bit of a hunger thing.
The Bills feeling like, hey, this group,
even though there's going to be a new version of this group around Josh Allen with as young as he is and as good as he is,
I think even with Josh Allen, some of the questions about,
what's going on with this guy in the red zone?
It very well could be a bad stretch.
It could be the injury that we've all learned about
throughout the season last year.
And since then, we know the O-line is kind of whatever, but I like their left tackle. I'm really banking on the secondary where
I may be in love with the names of the Bills secondary, but if you go back to last year,
there's no way they're going to be that bad again. They just aren't. If you go back two years ago,
that's what I'm kind of banking on, getting closer to the group that they were in the secondary in
2021. It's funny looking at the NFC, AFC quarterback stuff.
Look at some of the secondary groupings.
If you go to PFF, they have, I think,
seven of the top 10 secondary groups are in the AFC as well,
which when you're trying to run through this entire conference
and figure out who's playing in this game,
I don't blame anybody for going chalk,
but the surprise might just be that, hey, this other team was really, really good.
It's just not, you know, they weren't Cincinnati, Kansas City, or Buffalo.
In the NFC, San Francisco's not a zag.
San Francisco's the only football team, and I'm going to go through this now, too.
If you look at the NFC-AFC title games, combine them.
Let's look at the quarterbacks and all the names.
Probably heard a few of these guys.
Rogers, Brady, Stafford, Hertz, which is new, but feel great about them.
Mahomes, Burrow, Allen, and then the rare Tannehill.
And then you've got San Francisco in there, kind of on that Tannehill line of like, yeah,
we'll throw out Jimmy G and Purdy. I don't know what to make of Purdy. I was never a big Garoppolo
guy. So San Francisco finds a way to live in this area, not even coming close to having the same
quarterback resume. So I'm banking on that a bit again. I know I love the roster every single year
and my zag on all of it will be New Orleans.
The defense is really good.
I know it's old, but it's really good.
And it's talented.
And, you know, young guys get hurt too, right?
The Derek Carr part of this.
This feels a little Kirk Cousin-y.
And this is a positive Kirk Cousins thing, right?
But if you're Minnesota
and you're trying to figure out a quarterback, you're going, you know what?
We can get Kirk Cousins. Granted, they paid for it. And we know he's not great. We know he's not
perfect, but he's a hell of a lot better every single week. And I know the numbers would make
you believe he's even better than maybe he is., this is a solution for us. This is a quarterback solution. This is
good enough if we can't do any better. And other teams have tried this in the past. The Colts tried
it like five straight years. I think that's kind of what Carr is to the Saints. I'm not putting Carr
up with these top guys. I'm never going to do that. I don't think I did it even when there was
like a slight flirtation
of, hey, could this guy
be one of those dudes?
I think he had like
really, really great MVP odds
going into one year
coming off a nice year before,
which is usually the case,
the momentum carrying over.
But that's what Carr
kind of feels like
with the Saints
and with that schedule
that we've been over.
Look at the opposing quarterbacks
that they go up against.
Maybe a home game
and then lose
in the conference championship game
to the Niners.
So I'm giving the Super Bowl the the Bills this year over San Francisco.
Enjoy.
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Excited to talk with Sheil Kapadia.
A little protective Sheil here.
Talking NFL.
Getting ready for week one and some bigger stuff.
He had a trade volume column come out on ringer.com, which you want to check out.
Also part of the Extra Point Taken NFL show on ringer and the Philly special. Uh, you and Ben selected a bunch of previews that
I really enjoyed for both conferences. I've already made my Superbowl picks at the beginning
of the pod. I tried to zag a bit, um, before I share them with you, why don't you go ahead and
tell us what you did? Yeah, I've got the Bengals. I've got, uh, I think this is their year. I think
they're a complete team. I love Burrow offensively.
What I really like is they have a plan B.
Like two years ago, they're bombing the ball downfield
and you're saying, all right,
can this really last another season?
And last season, they were a really different team.
They ran the ball efficiently.
Their short intermediate passing game was really good.
I like their talent.
And defensively, I have some concerns
with the new pieces in the secondary, but And defensively, I have some concerns with the new
pieces in the secondary, but that defensive coordinator, Louie Anarumo, he's really shown
like in these big spots, he can at least come up with some wrinkles. You're not always going to
stop Mahomes and Allen, but man, they've beaten Mahomes and Allen on the road in consecutive
seasons. So I've got the Bengals winning the Super Bowl. I've got them beating the Eagles
in the Super Bowl. I really wanted them beating the Eagles in the Super Bowl.
I really wanted to pick another NFC team.
I was looking all around.
Who can my sleeper be?
Eagles aren't going to get back.
But ultimately, I didn't find a team that I thought was better than the Eagles. So I've got them getting back, doing little Buffalo Bills from my childhood and losing
the Super Bowl two years in a row.
The whole point of this is rarely do we have the team where you're not countering it with
something. So, you know, as everybody's picking Cincinnati, I would not say
that that's this wrong pick. I still think Burrow, even with the offensive line investment,
it just scares me. Like, I think he's probably due at some point for the kind of injury that
maybe derails one season and then he has a great career. But picking that or going, hey, I think
Burrow misses a season because he still is so competitive in the way he plays, that doesn't seem like a fair prediction.
I think the safeties, a really good safety tandem being gone is glossed over a bit.
But at least when you look at their roster, you realize they've put resources into replenishing the spot there with recent picks.
So maybe that's assuming a lot there because I really like that tandem back
there, but you could do this with every single team. Like I picked the bills to come out of the
AFC and I'm basically like rounding up from the 2021 secondary numbers. I still like the names.
We know that was not a strong unit last year, but I just can't believe with that group
that they're going to be that bad again. It just wouldn't make sense. I know the O-line has issues
and I know I just-line has issues.
And I know I just kind of wanted to do something a little bit different with the AFC because we could all be shocked here,
but it's really hard between Kansas City, Cincinnati, and Buffalo
to feel like you're going to leave one of them out.
So I had the Bills in my Super Bowl pick.
I'm just double-checking what I even did here because I think I forgot already.
Yeah, Bills over Kansas City in the AFC.
Okay, and then who do you have coming out of the NFC?
All right, there I tried to zag a bit because there's no argument against Philadelphia on paper.
It's arguably the most talented roster.
Imagine Hurts is going to be even better.
I just love what they've done with a young quarterback, making sure his job's as easy as possible,
and he's responded in every way, whether it's the O-line, whether it's the receivers,
making sure they always have a plan.
Jalen Carter coming in after losing Hargrove.
Granted, it's not the exact same thing,
but it's a hard team to look at and then look at the rest of the NFC and go,
yeah, I'm going to pick somebody else.
But I did it anyway.
I've got the Niners over the Saints.
Oh, the Saints. I like it.
I needed one. I needed one that wasn't, you know, I didn't want to go four,
one seeds on my bracket for the tournament. That's all.
Yeah, no, that's good. I mean, the Bills, I think is a fine pick. The Bills last year,
no team in the regular season beat them by more than three points. And then they had the
DeMar Hamlin scare and Josh Allen's playing injured and they lose in the playoffs
and all the Bills underachieve.
The Bills suck.
It's like the Bills were easily
one of the best teams in the NFL last year.
And so, yeah, I'm right there with you.
I think I've got them losing
in the divisional round,
but I certainly still have them
winning the division.
So I could see that.
And then the 49ers, to me,
it came down to like any other coach.
You look at that and you go Brock Purdy, Sam Darnold, quarterback room, and that's my Super
Bowl pick.
And you'd be like, I'm probably going to go somewhere else.
But with them, with the coach and the supporting cast, you can kind of see it.
To me, I was just scared away by, all right, it's an eight game sample of Brock Purdy.
Am I fully all in on board that this guy can lead them to a Super
Bowl? I'm open to the possibility. I couldn't get to the point where I felt that great about it,
where I picked them to get there, but absolutely. And they've got a pretty easy schedule. I think
a bottom six, bottom eight schedule when you look at Vegas projected win total. So I think that's a
fine pick. And the Saints are a great zag. You know, I was going back and forth on whether I was going to have them in the playoffs,
but they have what the easiest schedule in the NFL or the second easiest schedule in
the NFL.
So they can really feast on that division, pile up wins.
And then once you get to the playoffs, what are we talking about?
One kind of upset they would need to get to the NFC championship.
So I think a lot of times we look at the Saints.
I know I'm guilty of this.
What are you, what are they doing in the off season? They're just investing in these veterans
and what are they doing with their cap? Why don't they do a full rebuild? And people like me get
frustrated. And then it's like, well, it's week one and you look around and they still have a lot
of good players and they play in a bad division and they've got, got a bad opposing schedule.
So yeah, I think that's it. If you're looking for a sleeper pick, I think that's a good one.
I had to do something different. I really did. And even though it's Buffalo over San Francisco
isn't exactly different. I just went of the four teams. I have to do something different there. So
that's what I went with, even though there's really no strong argument to suggest right now
that you think Philadelphia can't get to the NFC title game. All right. Last night, talked about it
a bunch in the open and it feels like, hey, the Lions won,
but it's not like you're going, okay, what does this mean?
Does this mean that they're – they've been this off-season darling.
The draft pick showed up in a big way of the guys from the last two years.
And I just can't get past the fact that I feel like Kansas City just pissed that one away,
to be honest with you. Even though Detroit wins the game, when I got done, I was like,
okay, do I think Detroit's now better than Kansas City? Of course not.
Yeah, it was a toss-up game. I think if you're a Lions fan, they've just had so few moments to
celebrate. So I'm like, you know what? Go ahead. Enjoy it. You won a huge game on the road. I do
think their young talent all showing
up in that spot was pretty impressive. I mean, I didn't like their offseason. I came out of the
draft going, you had two first round picks and you're going running back and off ball linebacker.
This is not typically the way you want to build an NFL team. But if you're a Lions fan, you're
going, all right, Jameer Gibbs, Amon Ra, St. Brown, Aiden Hutchinson looked like he's ready
to make a second-year lead.
Brian Branch has the big pick six.
So a lot of those young guys, I mean, they do have a lot of talent,
like under, what, 27, 25 years old, where you say,
I just like a lot of these players.
They're good players.
Pene Sewell, their offensive line as well.
So I think you're encouraged by that.
If you're a Lions fan, now, I'm with you.
I think it was early in the fourth quarter,
they had one touchdown on eight possessions and they're throwing like screens to Marvin Jones
and Josh Reynolds on third down. And it's like, oh, you know, I don't know that they have enough
offensively other than Amon Ross St. Brown. Like who's their second guy going to be offensively
with Jamison Williams out there? So I think that's going to continue to be sort of a question for
them is who else is going to step up in those big spots.
They scored, what, two offensive touchdowns all night there,
and then they get the pick six defensively.
So I think if they're going to be a great team,
the offense is going to have to be nearly as good as it was last year.
It didn't necessarily start out that way for them.
But again, you don't have to complain about being competitive
on the road against the Chiefs and winning that game. So I'm all for Lions fans kind of going wild and treating
that game like it's the Super Bowl. It was a nice win for them. Right. Jamison suspended for six
games to start the season. And if he's even close to as good as I thought he would be, for him to go
as high as he did in the draft, I think there's a chance Bama hangs on in that Georgia game if Jamison's healthy to finish it.
That's how special he was.
He was incredible.
So that changes who they are.
We know the offense wasn't really the issue last year.
Laporta as well, you know, as a weapon that I think you'd feel pretty good about.
And look, Gibbs, I don't like to pick either just because of the running back stuff.
Like, I don't think it's anything you can zag against.
But he's a really, really dynamic player, but it was actually nice to see them kind of run the clock
out with Montgomery there and get the push. Uh, and you know, it was, there were a lot of things
in the second half where I felt like they looked like a much more complete team, which is the whole
point of this exercise. Like, okay, well, everybody likes them. We love the way they finished last
year. Uh, we love the offensive coordinator. Dan Campbell has a ton of fans now, but are you going
to stop anybody? And I think that's the biggest win,
even if I kind of left after three hours of it going,
all right, what did this game really mean
other than an awesome moment for Lions fans?
No, yeah, no.
I think their pass rush,
show Aiden Hutchinson showed up,
Chauncey Gardner-Johnson, I thought,
had a terrific game.
So I don't think it's going to be a great defense,
but man, they were a disaster last year.
It's like you just want to achieve
a sort of floor of competency if you're the Lions defense. And I think that'll give you
a chance. So I thought they at least showed that last night. Right. And as bad as Kansas City is
and missing a couple of guys holding that team to six points at home and the opener is a huge win.
So, you know, there you go. All right. I want to talk about your trade value column that's up on
the ringer right now. We love this. Obviously, Bill got this thing started with the NBA stuff years and years ago. And it's pretty straightforward, despite the fact that there will
always be complaints. I love when anybody does something that's this long and this many pieces.
It's like, dude, 42? That guy's like 51. Give us the first tier of what you have to explain
kind of the concept.
Yeah.
So the idea is just, Hey, if every NFL player is available via trade right now, this exact
moment in time, uh, who nets the most value in a trade.
And if you have two guys who you think, Hey, both these guys, uh, you know, would net the
same or which team is going to say no first, like you said, that's the, that's the bill
Simmons rule from back in the day. So the first tier is really just the quarterbacks, Patrick Mahomes, Joe Burrow,
Josh Allen, Justin Herbert, Jalen Hurts, Trevor Lawrence. I think those guys, if you look at it,
if one of those teams said, hey, this player is available for trade right now, I mean, you're
talking at what a minimum package of three first round picks. Those are all young ascending players with high ceiling. So that's kind of how it went. And then
you say, all right, who's the first non-quarterback going to be? I had Micah Parsons and then Justin
Jefferson there. Then you incorporate contracts. Well, who's on a rookie contract? If two players
are similar, who's getting paid less right now? Who's younger right now? And so that was kind of
the exercise, just going one through 75. It was fun for me to just take stock of the league and agonize over it
like you guys do over like your all NBA teams. I was like, all right, I can commiserate with
these guys a little bit now doing this because I'm going, all right, shield, this really doesn't
matter. You're writing a trade value column on a website like no one is dying if you screw this up.
But at the same time, your name's on it. So you're like, shoot, like you said, Justin Fields, I don't know about this. I may get
crushed for this a year from now. So yeah, that was the whole exercise.
Yeah. When we're doing the actual vote for all NBA and some of the all-star stuff,
I kind of start the exercise with, hey, no matter what you do, there's likely no perfect
version of this. Try to get as close as you possibly can.
Although one year with the All-NBA,
like I went through it,
I was agonizing leading up to it.
And then I wrote out the positions.
I was like, yeah, I think this is kind of easy.
I think it's like 16 guys for 15 spots.
So sometimes you get a little lucky.
Okay, why is Micah Parsons
the most valuable non-quarterback
in your current day trade value ranking?
Yeah, I mean, he's 24 years old.
I think he has like a hall of fame ceiling
at this point. I would, I would guess the odds would be like more likely than not that he is a
hall of fame player. And he's just a game wrecker. I just love that. Uh, every time you watch him,
when he's healthy, like there's rarely a game where you're like, wait, is Micah Parsons out
there? Like I haven't heard from him in, you know, a couple of possessions. He's always, uh,
doing something. He's on a cheap salary, 2.2 million and 3 million over the next two seasons.
So I was going back and looking at defensive players who've gotten more than one first round
pick. Jalen Ramsey, when he went from the Jaguars to the Rams was one. Khalil Mack was another when
the Raiders traded him to the bears was another. And then Jamal Adams is probably the surprise that people forget when he goes from the Jets to the Seahawks.
So I just look at it at Parsons.
If he's available tomorrow,
every team in the NFL is lining up
and you're getting a package that starts
with two first round picks.
I honestly think it would be way more than that.
So yeah, ultimately I ended up putting him at seven overall
and the first non-quarterback. So how many non-quarterbacks do you have in a, like the first tier of the
untouchables? Yeah. The, for the three guys who I felt like were a notch above the rest were
Micah Parsons, Justin Jefferson, and Miles Garrett. And then, you know, you can go on.
If you're looking at the top 20, I threw in Jamar Chase, Sauce Gardner, Patrick Sertan, Nick Bosa, Penny Sewell, Tristan Wirfs, Quinn and Williams,
Minka Fitzpatrick, and Aaron Donald. That kind of rounded out the top 20 there. But I did put
Jefferson and the other two guys, Parsons and Miles Garrett, kind of in a tier of their own.
I just think Garrett, we sort of take for granted because
the Browns defense hasn't been that good. And the guy's just like the hardest guy to defend
or to block in the entire NFL. He gets double teamed on so many, such a high percentage of
snaps. He's still prolific. He still has the most sacks of any player in the last three seasons.
He's 27 years old. He's my pick this year for defensive player of
the year. I think he's going to have a monster season. So I put him there. And then Justin
Jefferson, wide receiver was hard. Wide receiver is just so loaded right now. I mean, I have so
many wide receivers on this list, but Justin Jefferson's first three seasons in the NFL,
most yards ever, and it's not even close. He's got 662 more yards than Randy Moss did
in his first three years. I mean, we remember watching Randy Moss and it was like, this is a
once in a lifetime type player. And Jefferson's production has been way more than a guy like
Randy Moss. So yeah, he's another one, 24 years old, really no holes to his game. Going to be
a hall of famer if he stays healthy. That I felt like what wide receivers have gotten on the open market, Tyreek Hill, AJ Brown, these guys in
the trade market, Devontae Adams. I mean, you're talking about packages that start with like a
first and a second. And if Justin Jefferson was out there, I think we're talking about at least
multiple first round picks. So if you're basically saying if the vikings call the cowboys and offer justin jefferson from micah
dallas is saying no i think so what do you think that's how i did it yeah who says i think i think
the cowboys say no i think you know maybe they both say no but it's like who says no faster
who hangs up faster who takes a meeting uh i would think the vikings would at least say well
there are a lot of
good wide receivers. I don't think the Cowboys would make that trade. You're absolutely right,
first of all. I don't think it's a hard one. I think Micah is that special. So I wasn't surprised
because that was the thing I was looking at. And I thought, is there any way a seventh quarterback?
Was there a seventh quarterback you thought about adding to that first list? Or do you feel like the cutoff's pretty easy? By the way, great use, actual use of not even close.
We don't hear that a lot. That was an accurate use of it.
Lamar Jackson is a guy a lot of people I think would probably have higher than I did. I had him
at 11. I just couldn't shake the fact, like any team could have made an offer for Lamar Jackson
this last off season. I know everyone thought, all right, the Ravens probably aren't going to move off from him and they can match any offer. But the Ravens felt confident enough that no one was going to be that aggressive that they use that non-exclusive franchise tag. over the last two seasons and that their passing game has kind of been, you know, up and down.
Sometimes it feels like he just met the wide receivers in the parking lot, like five minutes
before the game and you're watching it. Like, how is this happening? At the same time, they've won
what, 70% of their games with him as the starter. He's a prolific runner. I think we could see him
be an awesome passer this year with the new offensive coordinator. I just felt I couldn't
shake that. Like if any of these other guys, I mean, you're telling me if Trevor Lawrence, if the Jaguars use the non-exclusive
franchise tag on him this, this last off season, everyone would have been like, ah, the Jaguars
are going to match that. Let's not even look into it. Like no way. I mean, any of those top six guys,
Jalen Hurts, Justin Herbert, any of those guys, teams are being like, well, let's at least try
on the, in the 1% chance that we can
get this guy. Let's at least try. So I could be off with Lamar, but that's why I had him where
he was. Probably my most controversial, the one that Simmons was yelling at me about and said he
vehemently disagreed with was Dak Prescott at number 10. And I had him ahead of Lamar Jackson.
So that was one to me where I said, if both these guys are available right now,
who's getting more in a trade?
I just think the league thinks more of Dak Prescott
than maybe the public does, than the media does.
He's 30 years old.
I think coaches around the NFL can say,
we can just plug Dak Prescott into our offense
and our offense is gonna function and be really good.
Now, no playoff success. I get all the knocks. He's had some injuries as well, but that was probably my most
controversial one, the one I'm going to take the most heat for. Yeah, Dak over Lamar. So it's 10
and 11. Right. But I'd imagine you, like some people will look at that and go, that is insane.
I don't think it's insane, but I've kind of landed on the spot with Dak where I just am just
assuming after
his career i'm never going to quite know how good he was like he was just good enough because like
there's other guys i'd rather have i'd rather have sauce i'd rather have certain i'd rather
have nick bosa but would i rather have them over a second tier quarterback you know it's like cool
hey we got nick bosa it's like all right we just we just lost our starting quarterback i mean that's
kind of the justin jefferson thing like there's no way I'd feel much better about trying to find
a really good receiver, even if he's not Jefferson, that I would be like, hey, can we go get
anybody at Micah Parsons level? Which is just the answer is no. I'm a little surprised that Nick
Bosa's at 15 and not in that group with Garrett and Micah. You know what it was? This published
before he got the contract. And so it's really
at this moment in time. So my exercise was a team would have to give up multiple first round picks
and then come to terms with him on a new contract. So there's some uncertainty there about what he's
going to be paid. I do have him a little like, I think last time I was on with you, we did top fives and people were yelling at me about Nick Bosa.
Then I just have a slight tear behind those guys, Myles Garrett and Micah Parsons.
I'm not coming at this with here are the numbers and here's the film exactly why.
It's just when I look at those guys, I think they're just a slight notch above him.
Now, he's 25 years old.
He's the reigning defensive player of the year.
He had 49 quarterback hits last year,
14 more than any other players.
Awesome player.
Absolutely a game wrecker.
I just had him a little bit lower there.
And again, part of that was
he didn't have a contract at the time.
And so there was going to be some uncertainty there
for the team that traded for him.
So you would put him,
would you put him with those other three guys,
the first non-QBs now with the contract?
Yeah, I'm looking at this now.
All right, so let's just do the exercise live here.
Would the Jets trade Sauce Gardner for Nick Bosa?
I think no.
Sauce Gardner's on a rookie deal right now and might be the best corner in the NFL.
So I'm a no there. I'm a no on Sertan.
Jamar Chase, Bengals call up the Niners. I think the Bengals say no to that one. So I'm a no so
far. Then you got the quarterbacks. I think I might move him up a little. I don't know that I
would. No, I don't think I would move him up a lot. I mean, 15 is pretty good.
So you would say in this exercise, the Jets would say yes to Myles Garrett for sauce.
Yeah. My mind is saying yes. I'm picturing Joe Douglas's bald head at the Jets headquarters.
He gets the call. What's he saying? It's a fair point. I would think yes, though. I mean,
in this season, Myles Garrett, I don't know. It's probably just me
putting Miles Garrett and Micah Parsons a tier ahead. But yeah, I mean, you make a good point.
Now, Miles Garrett is making, I think, $25 million a year. And that market has kind of exploded now
where Nick Bosa got, what, $34 million, right? It was $34 million a year. That's a big deal,
$9 million a year. I mean. You're talking about two starting guards
or something there. I actually feel fine about it. Now that we see what Bosa got paid,
I think I feel okay about that. Yeah, I think they would strongly consider a sauce gardener
for Miles Garrett trade. I think ultimately, they end up saying, yeah, we'll go ahead and do that.
Yeah, the rookie contract deal though for sauce at like $8 million, that changes a lot because now in comparison to some of the other guys we're talking about, that's like $20 million worth of difference, $17 million of resources you could put into the rest of the roster, which is why the NBA one was always so important.
I don't think this player is better than this player, but I don't want to have to pay this guy, especially back in the day when it felt like every guy that was the best was a default max player on a team, even if he wasn't even a
top 30 player in the NBA. All right. So I think we're kind of on the same page there with Bosa
because I look, when we did the exercise this summer, I had a really hard time separating
those three guys. I felt like any order was accurate. And you're right in a weird way
between the Nick Bosa Parsons and miles Garrett conversations, it feels like Garrett actually becomes underrated throughout all of this,
you know,
of the three that is,
if it's possible to say that anyone could overlook miles Garrett.
And,
and I think I've been guilty of it at times too.
It's like,
wait,
I mean,
you know,
but it's just,
they're all so good.
It's the same thing with the receiver thing,
even though the default feels like Justin Jefferson,
even there's maybe like two guys I may like better than him,
but that even seems wrong.
That might just be a personal preference thing.
Here's something that I like here.
You've got Minka Fitzpatrick at 19,
and the reason I bring this up is because one of my favorite,
I'd say five favorite players in the NFL is Fred Warner,
who you have at 32.
All right, I just love Fred Warner.
If you just watch Niners games and give yourself the joy
of watching just 20 Fred Warner snaps,
you will be on the same page as everybody else that's obsessed with him because most
linebackers cannot do what he does.
But as you've pointed out, even when we talked about Jack Campbell with Detroit, like, okay,
off-ball linebackers, if you're building out your roster, like it's great if you have a
really nice one, but it may not be the priority.
It may not even be a top 10 priority if you go positionally for how you'd want to build an NFL team. So when you go back to the Roquan Smith
trade, you're like, okay, he was, what was that? A second day pick and a later pick?
Second and a fifth.
Right. So a second and a fifth. And then Minka was what? A first and a fifth.
So a second and a fifth.
And then Minka was what?
A first and a fifth.
And it's weird how I've always thought the NFL market is very weird because you can be an awesome player and then all of a sudden you're not worth even a first round draft
pick.
Okay.
Like Roquan is a good example.
Now Minka is better than him and plays a more important position, especially today with
all these tight end hybrid guys.
But to think that
Minka is somebody the Miami Dolphins would be okay moving on from. And Miami's done a really
good job of overhauling a lot of their stuff. There's a lot of guys I really like on the
defensive side of the ball. But the league will just go, I don't know. I don't want to do that.
And you're like, what? And according to you right now, he's the 19th most valuable trade asset.
And it's a first and a fifth.
And it just like the next guy that may not be the all-time first team, all pro and Aaron
Donald type, who's just never even available.
It's crazy to think that, you know, shouldn't you be able to get like a first and a second,
a first and a third for somebody that's good?
Because if you knew this, I think looking back, but it's just not how trades work in
that league.
It's always, it's always confusing to me
to how devalued the maybe not 99 Madden rating positional guy can be in certain trades. I think
Smith to a lesser degree and Minka certainly is an example of this based on what you wrote.
It's just a great reminder of just how strange those transactions can get.
Yeah, the positional value plays such a big role. And I know like
people are probably tired of here. I'm tired of the running back discussion, quite honestly,
but I only had one running back on this entire list. And that was Christian McCaffrey. Cause I
looked at and I go, well, we know exactly what Christian McCaffrey is worth because he just got
traded last year and he got a second, a third, a fourth and a fifth. So if you add all those up,
it probably is like a late first round pick.
And I was like, all right,
so the best running back in the NFL
or, you know, a top two or three running back in the NFL
is worth a late first round pick there.
Well, look at what these wide receivers have gone for.
Tyreek Hill, you know, gets five picks last year,
including a first and a second.
And he's 29 years old this year,
which is not old, but
you know, older than he's not somebody who's kind of in his mid twenties where some of these guys
who, you know, who get the multiple first round picks are usually in their mid twenties. So yeah,
Fitzpatrick is I'm with you like Fitzpatrick and Warner. Like I put they're both in a category
where it's like, if you watch these guys, don't think they're the best at their position in the
NFL and awesome players.
I don't know, like, I don't really have time for that.
I have time for most arguments.
I don't really have time for those arguments.
You don't know what you're talking about.
I think he's the best safety in the league.
And so he got that first round pick in 2019
when he was younger on a rookie contract.
At the same time, since then,
he's emerged as like a multiple time all pro,
no doubt about it. So you're weighing the two things. Yeah,, he's emerged as like a multiple time all pro, no doubt about it.
So you're weighing the two things. Yeah, you have to pay more for him, but you know exactly what you're getting. He's 26 years old. He has a hall of fame ceiling. I think he would actually get
more now than he would have when he was there on his rookie contract. And Fred Warner was another
one I had a tough time with because I looked at, I said, he's definitely the best linebacker in the
NFL. Roquan Smith is probably the second best linebacker in the NFL. And Roquan got a second,
only got a second and a fifth. Like I think Warner would get a first round pick for sure.
But I don't know that he would get like multiple first round picks just because of what you
mentioned. It's like the market's weird. Like the teams will look at that and go, yeah,
a linebacker. We were really going to give up two first round picks? But you can easily make the case. Yes, you absolutely should do that. Like this guy lets you
play defense however you want to play and does something no one else at his position does and
is in his prime. Yeah, that might not be a bad move, especially if you're a good team and those
picks are going to be later in the first round. So those were all the exercises I was doing in my
head and with other people kind of
as I put this list together. I mean, think about what you just described. Hey, Fred Warner is this
good. And yet like, well, there's no way we can trade two first in the twenties for him. And it's
like, okay, there's a really good chance. One of those two picks are going to totally whiff on.
And then who's the other guy like in the twenties? Like, yeah, you could, you could totally nail it at receiver and have the guy be better than the three that were taken ahead of him. No problem. But I mean, I think Warner, you have to classify that as different than the off ball positional stuff. Like he plays the position in a way that most guys that have that MLB or I, you know what I mean? Like, however however he's listed he's just yeah he's just
different because he can turn and run with so many guys and you know there's plenty of guys
that are asked to turn and run and it doesn't mean that they're locking them down they're just
kind of in the way like hey just make sure you're kind of around it felt like what LSU was doing
with uh Perkins this past weekend but um Warner's like running with them, step for step,
and like going up and batting balls down and everything further down the field.
And yet, you're right.
You're right.
Like the history would tell us, yeah, no,
we couldn't trade two firsts for that kind of guy.
And honestly, San Francisco, I don't think would want to,
considering how valuable and how, you know,
when you have somebody like that, it means other guys can be asked to do less. There's a couple other ones in here. If you had told me
like early in the summer, you were working on this and you were going to land on Kenny Pickett
being the 51st most valuable asset in the NFL, I'd be like, just make sure we don't lose Kevin
Clark. I would have called Bill and said, don't lose Kevin Clark. I don't know what to do because if I had like a really,
we need to change bold predictions.
And it's something we need that word is played out.
I want like hotly aggressive predictions
for this upcoming NFL season, but I don't want to do it.
I don't want to do it and then have this guy
be really good and look stupid.
I just feel like it's a little early for him
to be ahead of so many players in the league.
The two hardest players by far for me were Kenny Pickett and Justin Fields.
I had no idea what to do with these two players.
They're both like in the spotlight this season.
Obviously, it could go one way or the other.
So here's where here's why I landed on him at 51.
Just look at the history of what teams will do when they're desperate for a quarterback
in a trade. Carson Wentz had one of the worst seasons you will ever see from a starting
quarterback in 2020. Bad contract, and the Colts gave up a first and a third round pick
for Carson Wentz. I mean, I could not get that out of my head as I did this. I was just going
through. I mean, look at what Russell Wilson got.
He's 34 years old.
I know we think about Wilson differently now than we did going into last season.
But look at that package where they got two firsts, two seconds for a 34-year-old quarterback
in Russell Wilson.
Deshaun Watson facing two dozen allegations of sexual misconduct.
And oh, by the way, you have to give him the only
fully guaranteed contract in the NFL. And you're going to give up all these first round picks.
Teams are not rational when it comes to quarterback. And so, yeah, I'm open. I'm with
you. I was telling myself, Shiel, you're an idiot 51. What are you nuts? But he's 25 years old. He
improved last year. He's on a rookie contract where if he hits, he's making three and a half
million dollars per year and you have him under contract for the next three seasons. And then you
have the fifth year option. So if you believe in that upside, and this was similar to my thought
process with Fields, like I don't think it's likely that Justin Fields is going to hit and be an awesome quarterback, but if he does hit, it's going to be so valuable for you as a team
that you might say, you know what, I'll give up a first round pick for him right now. So yeah,
that's why I landed on those two guys there. This could look absolutely ridiculous. I'm going to
update this, these rankings around week eight or week nine. And I will deny to my, if Kenny Pickett
stinks this year, I will deny to my death that this conversation ever happened, that I ever had
him at 51. I'll ask the editors to kind of scrub that from the internet for me. Here's one other
one I didn't like. You were like, hey, we're going to have Sheila on and tell them what I didn't like
about those rankings. Kayvon Thibodeau being 59 and Aiden Hutchinson being 58. I think that gap
is going to be a little bit more than one slot.
Uh, and yes, after watching Hutchinson last night, I, you know, that's maybe a little
recency bias.
Cause I thought he looked really good.
Uh, I don't, I think Hutchinson is going to be significantly better than Thibodeau is
what you're saying.
Yeah.
Okay.
Um, I went back and forth on that.
Yeah.
I initially had Hutchinson even higher.
And then I watched that game. I'm like, she'll you idiot. You should have stuck to your guns
in the first draft. I had him, I think, uh, in the top 40 there. Uh, I'll yeah. Going into the
season. I did not see a huge, you know, I think Thibodeau has a chance to be really good. Uh,
Hutchinson had the production for sure. Last year. I do like Thibodeau's upside quite a bit.
I think he could be a breakout player.
So I'm okay with that one.
I want to see how the season plays out.
I'm not convinced that there is a huge gap
between those guys, but I could be wrong.
Okay, last one.
If Arizona calls up Cleveland and says,
we'll give you Kyler for Deshaun.
Interesting.
Let's really put the value chart to the test here. These were two guys.
I didn't have Kyler or Deshaun Watson on the list because I thought at this moment in time,
who's trading for Kyler Murray when you don't know if he's healthy and you have to pay him a lot of
money for a season he's not even playing right now. Now, after the season, I think Kyler Murray
will get a package that nets a first round pick and the Cardinals will draft Caleb Williams or Drake May. That's pretty transparent what's
going on there. Deshaun Watson, I just looked at it and said, right now, I mean, do you want,
you're guaranteed through 2026, you cannot get out of that deal under any circumstances
with what he's getting paid. Do I want to take that on? So I actually think, man, it's a tough one.
I think Watson's probably going to play well this year,
but I don't think I would be willing to take on that risk.
I think Kyler Murray would have a higher draft value
on the open market.
As I'm saying that, I'm like,
Shield, I think you're completely wrong.
I don't know. Am I wrong? You're smiling. What do you think? I'm smiling because I don't
know the answer. I think the Kyler contract's one of the most irresponsible of recent memory.
They just were like, hey, we spent a pick on him and he kind of was good in some of those games.
And look, he was actually really dynamic dynamic but they were around him and i
believe all the stuff about like the way he needs to change kind of his his personality approach to
his teammates i mean patrick peterson's coming out publicly and being like dude which was not
the first time any of us have heard any of this stuff definitely and when i think of like the
best version of kyler and yet you, before anybody jumps me for this,
be like, wait, you're getting on Kyler Murray and his day-to-day behavior before you get to...
That's not what I'm saying. But at least I've seen Deshaun play well in the past.
And even though it's more money, it's more money for somebody that played the position at a really
high level with not a great team around him where kyler's sample
of good football is a is a much smaller sample and kyler's contract is like you're looking at
almost 40 million per for the next i think four years i know there's i know the numbers kind of
like dip around 38 36 then goes to 42 or whatever um i'd be i'd be surprised if a team gives up a
for him after this season i would be
yeah anytime i think that again i just go back to the cut to the trades we've seen with
quarterbacks in recent years because i feel this yeah i'm like wait would anyone really
well and now maybe it's changed because we did see a little change in the market i thought this
offseason uh with some you know they could the raiders couldn't find a trade partner for derrick
carr and jimmy Garoppolo's contract.
There used to not be this middle ground with quarterback contracts and compensation.
You either had to go all in or you had them on a rookie contract.
And so maybe that's changing a little bit.
But I don't know.
I think by the end of the year, there will be a GM trying to save his job, a coach trying
to save his job, a desperate owner.
And one of them will
say, all right, he's 26 years old. The contract is what the contract is. Those salaries are going
up anyway. We can't get a quarterback in the draft. Let's go ahead and take a swing on him.
But your point about the study habits and all that stuff, that's fair. I mean, that's something
that teams definitely will look at and go, I don't know if we want to take that on right now.
All right. Thanks to Shito Kapati. He'll be joining us throughout the regular season into
the playoffs. If you want to read his trade value column, you can see it on ringer.com. Also,
extra point taken, Philly special. I can't wait, man. Enjoy Sunday.
All right. Thanks for having me.
We are supported by NFL Sunday Ticket on YouTube and YouTube TV.
If you're a displaced fan, NFL Sunday Ticket is an absolute must-have.
And now that it's on YouTube and YouTube TV,
it's easier than ever to keep up with all your favorite teams on Sunday afternoons
since you can watch four preset games at once on MultiView.
Messing around with MultiView for college football, it's incredible.
You get even a sample of, it's incredible. You get
even a sample of some of the games. You're like, let me throw it on here because I want these two
or I want these three. Like, oh wait, I'm going to slide over here to number four. I didn't even
think I was going to be interested in this game. Now I am, and we're going to be doing the same
thing with the NFL this weekend. So four games that I'm excited to look at here. It starts with
Bryce Young, the number one pick, Carolina, Atlanta. The last eight QBs taken number one overall in season openers are 0-7-1. Their QBR is an average of 33. That's not good.
The last winner, David Carr, in 2002, he completed 10 passes in that game. Stafford,
in his season opening debut, had a QBR of 11. Jameis had one of six. Not great, Bob. On the
history there, I still can't wait to see how
Bryce looks in an NFL game.
Tennessee at New Orleans. My Saints.
That's been discussed making it to the
NFC Championship game. So, I want to see how they look
with Derek Carr. Also a little curious to see
where Tannehill's at. Game number 3.
Tua at the LA Chargers. That's right.
Chargers. The Herbert Tua
stuff is going to be terrific no matter who
wins, even if they don't play well. Just because these two seem to be super aligned in the social media wars.
And then finally, Vegas at Denver. I can't wait to see what Russell Wilson looks like here with
Sean Payton finally telling the truth about Russell Wilson this whole time. Does it get
to Russell Wilson? Does it bother him? Well, he can't play any worse than he did last year.
So I can't wait to see the Broncos. So that's all I'll be looking at. Four screens, buddy.
Thanks to NFL Sunday Ticket on YouTube and YouTube TV for sponsoring this segment.
It is truly the best place to keep up with all your favorite teams' out-of-market Sunday afternoon games.
And right now, you get $50 off your subscription when you sign up at youtube.com slash Russillo, R-U-S-S-I-L-L-O.
Terms and blackout restrictions apply.
Offer ends 9-19.
It's time for our Alliance Parlay.
Me, Kyle, Steve,
trying to put together three winners for you
so that you can hit.
We won it week one.
Cerruti dealing with just a mountain of shit
from Colorado fans because he did not believe early on.
He just gave out.
He's like, hey, man, let me play a little action on TCU.
It didn't work out for you this week.
So how's that been?
Yeah, I don't even know if it's Colorado fans.
I think just people just like us to be wrong.
I think people like it when people on, you know,
I'm not claiming to be some college football actor, but I did like TCU.
I wasn't buying in. I wasn't buying in
on the Deion stuff. I was clearly wrong.
I don't know that I'm going to be wrong the
entire season, though. I do. I will say
I'm going to stay away from the Colorado
game this week. They're playing Nebraska. I think they're
two and a half point favorites
now at home. And I think in the offseason, they
were like almost close to 10 point underdogs.
That's a pretty epic swing.
If I had to bet it, I'd probably bet on Colorado.
So maybe I am a believer,
but I'm going to stay away from that bet this week,
just because shocker, I am not your Colorado Buffs expert.
Yeah, I look, there was some stuff said after that,
where it got even further and further.
Shador Sanders, who was terrific at the beginning,
he was asked about the difference
between the FCS and the FBS.
He's like the only difference between the FBS and the FCS
is that the defensive line gets off blocks
if you try to scramble up faster.
That's it.
Everything else, you got good players,
you got good DBs, you got good receivers.
Just to recap what's gone on the last 10 years
in the FBS versus FCS,
the average margin of victory is like 30 points.
The winning percentage is like 95% of the games.
The FBS wins it.
And I don't understand how you can, guys that weren't going to go to FCS schools
unless Deion Sanders was the head coach at an FCS school,
why then those guys are considered FCS players,
the ones that played really well for Colorado.
So just a little, like, people are like,
hey, do you agree with Shador Sanders on this one?
Like, yeah, he was awesome.
The quote is insane.
Yeah.
Moving on. All right, so Kyle,. The quote is insane. Moving on.
Kyle, you hit yours
last week. What did you have? It was Florida
State. He's all vibes.
Kyle's all vibes better.
Kyle's a vibes guy.
If I had known Indiana's offense was going to look that bad,
but Ohio State's looked even worse. Indiana
plus the points last week was a winner. Season standings,
Kyle and I are 2-0.
Rudy evened up at 1-1. Lead us off, Kyle latest off guy sure like i said we're going with the with the gut feelings
and this week we're feeling good things about utah shout out to our show in utah shout out to
bongo room shout out to my buddy blade who set the tone first night falling down the stairs we uh
were just talking about that trip the other day and now now it's time to make a pick. I'm picking Utah. So they are minus seven and a half at Baylor.
And that's going to give you minus 115.
Shout out to Utah.
Okay.
I've changed my mind on Texas and Alabama every single day.
I can't wait for this game.
I am excited.
I didn't think Texas looked great.
So that's part of it.
And then, you know, look, the game's at Bama.
And I know that, you know, the outcome of this game is going to be too much for what it actually probably means.
If Texas wins this thing, it'll be the first time that Texas is back.
Sounder that we used to hit nonstop.
That was the Texas Notre Dame game, I think.
And we used to hit it for years and years.
We hit it all the time, Tess.
Texas is back, folks.
If Texas wins, then people are going to hit the sounder
and they're not going to be hitting it sarcastically.
If Bama loses, then it's like, you know, look,
the real estate for Clemson is dead.
You can't get a house there right now.
Everybody's excited about that one.
I'm always of the opinion of like, oh, so that's just it.
Clemson's never going to be good again. They're just that's just it clemson is never going to be good again they're just never going to dabble is never going to be good again
um reminds me a bit of like when duke didn't want to take one and dones or like hey how about maybe
we take one and dones and then it worked out for him so i still think there's some moves there for
clemson depending on how they want to build out their roster um maybe it is done but i just i
wouldn't say it after they lose to do as bad as they looked so with bam that's going to happen
it's also not going to be true if they were to lose this one. I've gone back and forth, back and
forth. I don't feel great, but I want to have something on it. So give me Bama laying the seven.
I've got a bet in the same game. It's not the spread, it's the total. I like the under 54 and
a half minus 105. This was, I believe it was what, 39-point total last year between the two teams.
And Bama seems like they want to kind of get back to that old-school
Bama run the ball kind of clock control defensive team.
So big spots here.
I kind of like unders in big spots, too.
So give me the under 54.5 minus 105.
Okay, there you go.
See you, Lions.
Join.
You want details?
Fine.
I drive a Ferrari.
355 Cabriolet.
What's up?
I have a ridiculous house in the South Fork.
I have every toy you could possibly imagine.
And best of all, kids, I am liquid.
So, now you know what's possible.
Let me tell you what's required.
Okay, it's Friday.
We'll be back to three days a week,
Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
We did this Friday
because we want to wait
for the Chiefs-Lions game,
Lions football.
And we've got Cerruti,
we've got Kyle here.
Hello to all.
Life advice, the email again,
lifeadvicerr at gmail.com.
Feel free to send them in.
We'll go through them,
pick out some good ones.
We rarely do feedback,
follow-up ones.
Although we did get a complaint.
Somebody said that we had already bailed on Friday feedback.
You did not listen to the instructions,
sir.
We said we would do it occasionally,
maybe once a month.
And we kept the expectations low,
right?
Quite on purpose,
big time.
Cause like September is going to be over going,
wait,
we're going to do one of these as a non-life advice episode.
I don't know.
We're still workshopping a bunch of it.
All right.
So here's the point is, remember the guy that was worried about taking the pictures with everybody just geared up in the same stuff, sweaters around the neck, who knows.
A guy chimed in, this is so good, there's no way it's fake.
So here we go.
35 years old, 6'1", 215, haven't maxed in a while, but do three sets of five reps with
275 on the bench and squat.
All right.
So he just hammers it all out.
NBA comp 2008 Cleveland Cavs, Wally Zerbiak.
So yeah, it's pretty good.
Let's dive in. No need to change the names.
Our friend with the shirt vacation family picture has fallen victim like all of us one time to
thinking people will care about him long-term as much as he cares about himself just because
he's in a few stage photos at a family function. Out, hot, coming in real hot. He's not even
waiting for the archers. He's just running right across the field. They will never care and will probably laugh over the years when you randomly pop back up as, remember that fucking guy memory.
Right.
How do I know this?
Well, I normally don't do this, but I have to be the one upper guy to Ryan on the picture of an ex in his mom's house.
Feel free.
My dad passed away my senior year of high school.
My mom was obviously a wreck and not thinking clearly, or at least dear God,
I've given her this excuse over the years.
Good writing so far without my older sister who had been dating her boyfriend
for a whopping year or me,
uh,
a girlfriend of two years,
all high school without either me or my sister knowing it.
She put their names,
the boyfriend and the girlfriend with our names on the back of my father's headstone.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Oh, wait, she labeled them as son and daughter.
So it read, love always, Kim daughter, Adrian, parentheses, boyfriend, son, Haley daughter, Charles son, Lindsay, parentheses, girlfriend, son. Haley, daughter. Charles, son.
Lindsay, parentheses, girlfriend, daughter.
Oh, man.
I thought you were going to say like... And Toby, neighbor's dog.
I thought you were going to say the obituary,
which I'd be like, yeah, it's not great,
but at least, you know, it is what it is.
No, the headstone.
The headstone, it's just...
That's forever.
Oh, my God.
That's forever.
Unfortunately, Lindsay and I were one of the few high school sweethearts that didn't make it down the aisle.
Fast forward a few years and my new girlfriend, Michelle, is nearby my dad's gravesite and offers to go play some flowers for me at the start of football season as I couldn't that year due to work.
I instinctively said yes and thanked her only to immediately call back and warn her that she's literally about to meet the ghost of girlfriends past.
Anyway, luckily, she got a laugh out of it.
Called my family weird as fuck.
Rightfully so.
And we're married now.
Hey, Kim and Adrian just had their first kid and have been together for 20 years.
So maybe mom was right.
So put on the shirt, grab a beer and enjoy those family pictures.
That's unbelievable. Mom hedged her bets. I guess she got one of them. You got to tell,
honestly, that she went 50% on this is incredible. Huge. I wonder if there was like, like it's,
it's not peer pressure. It's like family pressure. Like, do you have to get married now? Because
your mom did this, like, you know, would they have gotten married? Otherwise if one of their
names wasn't on the headstone, I don't know. We'll never know. I don't know that it comes up a lot. I don't
think people start conversations at bars going, what's the weirdest fact about you?
But can you imagine this guy's high school ex going, I'm on my high school ex's dad's headstone
because the mom just put me on it. That looks great for the ex.
You're the best. That looks great for the ex. You're the best.
That looks great for the ex, but yeah.
Strange.
I think 50% is a miracle.
You know how people say like,
hey, if you get hit three out of 10 times,
you go to the Hall of Fame.
I think if you were at 10% on these,
that would be pretty great.
She's one for two.
Big commitment.
Paid off.
That's some... Anyway. Okay. All commitment. Paid off. That's some...
Anyway.
Okay.
All right.
Let's talk revenge.
42.
It appears he is overseas.
Just because he's basically admitting that he wants to do something here.
We're not going to name the location.
Six foot one, 240 pounds.
Player comp. High school Charles Barkley. do something here. We're not going to name the location. Six foot one, 240 pounds, player comp,
high school Charles Barkley. Prior to the vertical growth spurt, except now I'm a fucking middle-aged
man. All right, take it easy. My girlfriend and I have been together for three incredible stress
free years, and she's the most caring and down to earth person I've ever met. All she's ever
asked for in life is to have a good day and to be with somebody she can trust because almost all of her ex-boyfriends have betrayed her.
Her previous boyfriend, let's call him shitbag, racked up $15,000 in gambling debts as an
unemployed loser while juggling his deadbeat balls on her couch. She had to cover these debts because
he... Wow. Let that one sink in. Great sentence, man. Good sentence. She had to cover those debts because
he had used her information to register at the bookies. Then they broke up. Soon after,
she also gave up on asking for the money because he flat out refused to pay or discuss a future
payment plan. Turns out he was also cheating on her repeatedly. She chalked it up to a lesson
learned, never looked back. Very wise. Recently, I discovered that the deceptive tank of an ex-boyfriend opened up a profitable
business in a ritzy part of town about 18 months ago.
He's not made any attempt to pay her back.
My girlfriend has completely moved on.
I respect that.
However, it pisses me off that this piece of shit ex could screw over somebody who did
so much for him, is so humble, and asks for so little from him or from life in general.
Excuse me, like the general, not even just, you know, she just, hey, I want to have a
good day, as we learned earlier.
I know where this pond scum's establishment is, and I can't quite let it go.
Like, you cannot.
He's a wordsmith.
He's a fucking wordsmith.
I both know and personally endorse the no tough guy rule on your show.
So my intentions are not to do anything overtly menacing.
However, I would like to just let him know, man to scum, that what he did was unacceptable and remind him that he did this to a gem of a human being.
My girlfriend and I are a graphic designer writer.
Well, one of these writer, that's for sure, respectively.
designer writer. Well, one of these is a writer, that's for sure, respectively. So we both have chosen lower paying careers because we value what we do over what we make. So it'd be nice to get
her the 15 grand back because frankly it would help her. Hey, everybody's on your side. Everybody
could use the 15 grand. All right. Nobody's just going, man, 15 grand, don't worry about it.
But the truth is, I just want to look at this dickhead like bacteria in a microscope slide and remind him of who he fucked over. It sticks in my ass that he's opening businesses now
and hasn't done a fucking thing to pay back what he owes. I know that part of me is my ego and part
of it is my protective instinct. I'm a level-headed guy and I live my life with no drama rule,
with a no drama rule, but I can't seem to let this idea go. I know that this urge will accomplish
nothing. I find myself agreeing overwhelmingly with your life advice segment, so I wanted to hear some impartial
advice from someone whose opinion I respect and enjoy. Love the show, and thank you for all the
laughs across the years. Hey, man. Look, for whatever reason, every year I'll re-watch an HBO
show, one of the tier one HBO shows. Every four or five years, that summer,
once basketball and all the nonsense is over, I get this six-week window of I don't have to watch
anything. I'll go back to The Wire. I've watched Game of Thrones twice. I've watched The Wire
multiple times. I hadn't re-watched The Sopranos in forever. And so this
summer I decided, especially with all the travel, it was a nice little thing. Get back to the hotel
room a little bit late. I'm going to throw on an episode of The Sopranos. Binging The Sopranos
fucks with you. Okay. And I think the art, not to sound like some guy from Goddard College here,
but like the art of writing and the script and the way the story develops
with a week gap in between is the way we were supposed to watch most of these shows.
But when you binge it and you don't get a week off over seven years or whatever it is,
and you're watching two or three episodes, I'm not a day guy, but you're banging out maybe seven
to 10 a week, it almost becomes hypnotizing.
And you start to think like, wait, if something goes wrong and a guy owes me money, can I just
show up to campus and hit him with my car? And nobody does anything. Like if a guy at a deli
gives me a hard time, I smack him in the face. Shoot him in the foot.
Right. Or shoot him in the foot. Right. Um, that in the foot, right? So sometimes, I'm serious, you can start thinking
shit in movies and TVs like real, like that's an obtainable thing. Because for almost every
single one of us, we'll have something to lose, right? And that's why you never really want to
mess with a guy who has nothing to lose. But in this case, it sounds like you have something to lose.
Your girlfriend seems like she's over it, but I'm on your side.
I'm with you.
I would be thinking of like, what can I do?
How can I, but then I'd be like, okay, what would I actually do?
And I think that's that line.
The question most of us ask ourselves is like, okay, what would I actually do here?
All right.
Am I going to fight him?
No.
I mean, would you beat him up?
You have to ask yourself that question. Like, would you win the fight? Because if you go there to be like,
fucking, you know, if you go in there thinking you're going to like, I'm going to show this guy,
then you get your ass kicked. It's even worse. And if you win the fight, then maybe this guy's
definitely going to sue you if he's ripping people off all over the place.
And then on the other end, there's the bad Yelp review of his new establishment, right?
Yes.
What is that going to do?
It's not really going to do anything.
Probably will make a man.
But it feels good.
It's at least something.
That's what I was going to suggest.
Right.
It sounds like you need to do something.
But does something better provide you some kind of closure? Because that $15,000 is not coming back. It sounds like you need to do something, but does something better
provide you some kind of closure? Because that 15 grand is not coming back. It's not coming back.
And I think legally, the fact that he used her information to log her in, you guys are even more
screwed on it. And of course, the 15 grand would mean a ton. And it'd be nice. It'd be nice for
the people that do fuck up earlier in life, get to a point and be like, you know what? I was a
shitty guy. It was awful what I did. But some of the dudes that are shitty, they can be successful, but they're still just as
shitty. So I don't have a ton of options. Maybe you guys do. Maybe Kyle has delved in this arena
a little bit more than I have. When somebody has fucked me over, oh, I think about it.
But then I go, okay, but what could I actually do that would be significant enough that isn't more of a problem for me later on?
And it's very rare that there's any solution to that.
So, you know, I remember one time there was a guy that owned a building.
He fucked with us so bad.
He ended up ripping me off and the whole deal.
There wasn't anything I could really do.
Although back then I didn't really have anything to lose.
And so I signed him up for like the worst magazine subscriptions ever. I just went to Borders and took all the Bill Me Later
ones. And I filled out like 20 of them and put his address on it, sent him in. And then that just
meant he was getting awful magazines sent to him all the time. And he had a family.
Yeah. That's so true.
And I laugh. I still laugh. I still chuckle. Imagine him explaining. He had to explain to people like,
hey, I didn't sign up for this.
You could just do the spam email thing.
Does this business have an email address?
And just sign them up for all the dumbest shit you could think of.
These are all little stupid petty things.
I'm not a fighter, so I wouldn't tell you to fight this guy.
Maybe that's what you want to do.
Maybe that'll make you feel better just hit him in the face or something but sometimes
like the little stupid things then you can sort of watch it from afar and that really does give
you a lot of great satisfaction so the magazine thing's a great idea spam is email i think the
yelp thing's a great idea yelp or google review depending on what his business is just like little
things that fuck with him over like kind of a long period of time i you know you're right you're
never getting the 15 grand back so at least like have fun with it yeah i mean i guess you could go on yelp i'm
sorry to but you could go on and just say this guy ripped off fifteen thousand dollars micro like
every time every day just send a new one on there but go ahead kyle i i you would get sued though
you you want to do this anonymously well i think you'd want to do this anonymously i don't think
you'd want like this guy to know who's giving these yelp reviews because who knows? You don't want to get sued
or I don't know. Maybe he is a huge dude. He could kick
your ass. Well, I got to say
I've been watching a lot of core TV
and some Yelp review stuff has came up
and it's like if what you're saying isn't true
then you can be sued. But I
mean the bar is pretty high if you're proving
slander or libel
whichever one is the written form.
But it has to be not true.
So I don't think you want to delve into that.
But if you're doing it every day,
maybe that's crossed into harassment
instead of slander.
But either way, I think a Yelp review
could make or break early independent business.
I think we all know that.
But I mean, I think for the sake of this podcast,
we were hoping you would come in with
a well-crafted scheme on par with the composition of this email. Uh, it sounds like you haven't
gotten that far, so a little disappointed, but also proud that you're not a, uh, a rash guy
jumping to decision, uh, to decisions, but you know, you could, it's like, how, how much do you
want to commit? There's way, lots of things to do that don't involve violence. Like my mom got, uh,
uh, uh, I guess screwed over, she would say.
I'm not even sure how bad, how much at fault it's her and this other company.
Shout out Arlington Auto and Tire.
And she drove around with a stick.
She made a custom sticker on her truck saying, Arlington Auto and Tire fucked me over and then did this and that.
And it was like two years.
She drove around with her on her,
on her pickup truck with big like custom letters.
Wait,
back up.
What did your mom do?
She went to this auto body shop.
Yeah.
She went to this auto body shop and I don't know,
like something got expensive or they didn't do something that they said they
were going to do,
or they actually damaged her truck while they were fixing it or something like
that.
And then the guy was basically like like you know what lady get out
of here i'm tired of this and my mom would say lady i don't know she wasn't uh i i was younger
and so she just made a custom sign and it was driving all around poughkeepsie and plaza valley
and lagrange new york with this uh with this big custom sign all across her tailgate. And, uh,
and I think a little bit on her window. And then she got calls from that guy, uh, who owned,
it was like, Hey, like five people have called me in the last month saying that there's some
pickup truck riding around with Arlington auto and tire fucks over their customers or something.
So, I mean, it definitely got to that guy. She had to drive her. She had to be the truck lady
with the, you know, long sign, but, uh, I don't know, like there's, there definitely got to that guy. She had to drive. She had to be the truck lady with the long sign.
But I don't know.
There's stuff like that.
You probably don't want to be the truck guy, but there's stuff like that.
Make a sign.
But he's mad.
He got mad.
And I think I actually ended up going to the Better Business Bureau.
They sided with my mom, but she never took the sign down for a while.
And they were like, I thought we said you were going to take the sign.
And she's like, that wasn't part of the agreement.
Anyway, she, she kept it going, was pushing the buttons for a little bit,
but there's plenty of things that you can do that.
If you just want him to get mad, that's almost like getting even.
The problem though here, I feel like is it's,
I would guess that your significant other,
your girl does not approve of this sort of revenge tour that you want to go
out on. So you kind of can't, she doesn't want you to be signed to be signed guy yeah so this kind of has to just be a you anonymous thing and that's why you
know you keep going back to the yelp thing but yeah like i feel like if he had said that she
like he said she's over it and it's really just your anger and i do you're totally right to be
angry i would be pissed off too but it sounds like i don't think she'd be super pumped if you
started like fucking with this guy so you kind of have to do it if you're gonna do it you have to do
it honestly anonymously.
Right.
Because there's a list of stuff you could do, right?
Just hold a sign.
If you want to go sign route like Kyle's mom, just pretend you're a picketer.
Dude, just TP his house. Go old school.
Except your sign isn't about wages.
Your sign is like, the manager of this establishment stole $15,000 from my girlfriend three years ago.
And you just walk around and see how long that goes, right?
That's not going to be great. I mean, if there's a therapist answer to this, it's, you have to find what the thing is that allow you to turn the page
because the 15 grand is probably never coming back. It's definitely not coming back. Um,
and so Rudy's point about the girlfriend, if she doesn't want you to be doing this stuff and you
only have like, you're both working. I mean, how much time are you actually going to spend on scheming here?
Then it can start to become like such a waste of time and resources.
You're like,
this is,
this is exhausting.
Like,
why am I even trying to keep up with this thing?
I would,
and I don't even care if he's bigger than you.
I think you go and you confront him one time and say,
Hey,
look,
he may know you,
or if he doesn't know you,
but I'm, you know, boyfriend, we both know what you did. We'd him one time and say, Hey, look, he may know you, or if he doesn't know you, but I'm,
you know,
boyfriend,
we both know what you did.
We'd love to figure like calm,
just direct.
I would love to know if you want to make good on that.
Like,
can we figure out a solution to this thing?
And if you want to go in a leather coat and keep your hands in your jacket,
like you're Chris Maltesanti,
fucking awesome for playing the role.
If he's working in like a bar restaurant business and he's this sketchy in the past he's probably not going to be
like dude I've had tougher guys come after me than you um but he may just look at you and say
oh fuck you you don't know what you're talking about and whatever and then you'll see what a
piece of shit he is on top of what you already know about him and then that may be the thing
the moment where you can be like okay look this is all wasted energy. And yet you can still be pissed at him. You can still
not like him. You can still think all the things you think about him in the email. I'm in awe of
people that go, hey, forgive, forget, turn the page and all that kind of stuff. And it's like,
what you would seem like getting a sub one day and be like, Hey dude, what's going on?
Like, of course not. I've never be able to do that ever for the rest of my life for somebody
that would have done something like that to me.
But in this case, you have to figure out what that answer is.
Maybe you get a little joy out of a bad review online.
But it might be unfair to the rest of the people too with the restaurant, if it is a restaurant bar or whatever.
He said successful business in a ritzy part of town.
I was assuming it wasn't a print shop.
Good luck.
Did we cover that? I think so. wasn't a print shop. Good luck. Did we cover that?
I think so.
I guess we covered that.
Do something.
You can send Chipotle guy over there.
Do you have a problem?
Delicious chicken.
Okay, this is for the younger dudes.
26, 5'7", 145.
Not much of a gym guy, but I'm a big biker and love taking walks along Lake Michigan
in my Midwestern city. NBA comp is Earl Boykins. That's awesome. Earl can ball. Yeah. I know I'm
not very tall, but I was always good for a couple of buckets at the rec center and college pickup
games. I was visiting my buddy in Chicago last week before he moves out east at the end of the
year. He's been one of my best friends since the start of high school. And while I don't go as hard as him, it's always a good time. He usually comes
to my city, but this time I came to his. He had a former coworker in town. Chill dude, good hang.
Stay in the weekend. The three of us are just drinking, getting ready to go hit a bar or two
and call it a night. Nothing too wild. My buddy's roommate, let's call him Stan. Love that name.
Then gets home from work and immediately ruins the vibe. It's a Thursday night and all he talks about how nothing is going to be lit, but we have to full send tonight.
Pass.
In the same sentence.
How's this Riz doing?
Legendary Riz.
Did you see that video of Theo Vaughn at the UFC and like three ring girls came up to him? And I think the caption was just legendary Riz. Did you see that video of Theo Vaughn at the UFC and like three ring girls came up to him?
And I think the caption was just legendary Riz.
And I'll admit there was a sliver of jealousy in it.
I was like, imagine having a post of you and then the caption was just legendary Riz.
Yeah.
Yeah.
One day.
He's a funny guy, man.
He's a funny fucking guy.
All right.
So he, even the emailer uses quotes on lit and full send.
What is, can you, Kyle, what's the difference?
If somebody said to you, let's not be lit, but let's full send, would you be confused?
Because there's not a lot of full sends in my group, but I think.
Wait, you don't have full sends in your group?
My guys are like older or
the other group is like new york city poughkeepsie like black kids so it's like not neither group
really rolls with full send lit are you saying black guys can't full send what are you saying
they have different terms for it i guess wait a minute who's the what the frolic room was they
don't even know i mean the average age of the Frolic Room, the median age is probably... Just me brings it down a little bit, but the median age is probably like 38, 40, you know?
Okay, but whatever I know about Full Send, I feel like there's a few Full Send candidates in that group.
Oh, sure, sure.
But those are alcoholics, though.
We don't call them Full Senders.
There's a term for that, yeah.
It's like they're just guys who show up when the bar opens.
And they're there on Christmas.
All right.
We eventually make our way out to the bars,
and we pass the street with a handful of good spots
with people in line.
But Stan says, you don't live here.
I live here.
I know what's up.
Stan.
Stan just grinded in your face.
He didn't even want your money.
This one's on me.
He then proceeds to use Google Maps to find the bar where he wanted to head to.
At this point, I want to dip with the former coworker and just grab drinks and try to pick up girls.
We eventually end up at this underground tiki bar where Stan tells the former coworker and I to make ourselves useful and go get a table without offering to get his drinks.
After the shit I've already put up with, I told him not to talk to me like that and flicked him
off. Wow, middle finger to a new guy. He eventually apologized, but was still an asshole all night.
I know I overreacted and just wanted to have a fun night with my buddy, but did I do the right
thing by telling him off and somewhat ruining the vibe? P.S., the former coworker ended up picking
up a 55-year-old woman at a nightclub we finished the night at and brought her back to my buddy's apartment.
I woke up to 6 a.m. to them cuddling on the other living room couch.
To be in your early to mid-20s and stay at your buddy's apartments in the city and then to see the couches in the morning because you're not really 26.
That's what it says on your license, but you're still hanging on to those post-college decisions uh two of my college roommates came to my house last night and we told stories for two
straight hours and guys were like why would anyone have thought that was okay we're like we did we
just did we just did at the time okay uh the middle finger in a bar to another guy you just met
kyle um it's just it's not really in my arsenal i don't really like no i kind of do
it if somebody like almost hit me and they're driving a car or something but usually that's
kind of that's where that's that's my realm of middle finger uh use not really like to a guy
actually just kind of seems weird like uh i'd rather just say something mean instead of that
i don't know just seems wrong seems like the wrong uh i don't think i should send it out of here i don't think i don't think i should say it i
probably won't say it you know oh really it's the end of them i mean it's just if you want to be
mean like yeah it's it's super disrespectful the middle finger i think even though it's a little
comical when you think about it uh it's actually kind of funny it is kind of funny i don't know
i mean i just think of those guys in the street like at each other yeah it's just kind of funny it feels dated i feel like the middle finger just
is dated i remember back in the day and we're talking like you know harking back to like the
mid-2000s when like dudes would just post up in pictures and just be like that was like the thing
that they did yes and it was like not weird you look back like that's the dumb and then there's
still dudes that do that they just haven't realized that it's kind of dead.
Yeah, I don't even think
normal people use
the middle finger anymore.
Maybe I'm totally off on this
but Kyle's right.
I do use it in the car
if somebody does something stupid
but like walking around
just throw somebody
the middle finger
is so foreign and weird to me now.
I think it's like
What about driving?
What about driving?
You won't throw somebody the finger?
No, definitely.
I will.
That's what I said.
I'll definitely do a driving.
That's what it's there for now.'s all that's all that's that's your
only turn signals now you're only hanging out will you will you stick it outside the car will you
will you just hold it i'll stick it out depending on what's going on is the guy about to pass me
like what's going on do a brake check yeah like a duane allman note resonating and then there's
eye contact and you're still keeping it up yeah are
we at a stoplight too if a guy like is beeping at a stoplight that's a great time to throw the
middle finger okay will you give the finger when you know you have to stop at a stoplight coming up
um you're like you're likely gonna give the guy the finger then you're gonna be stopped next to
each other if i'm not the person in the wrong yeah yeah with no no regard about the stoplight. More so in Poughkeepsie
I think than I would in Los Angeles. I've seen some
nuts driving cars in Los
Angeles, but I feel pretty safe doing it
in Poughkeepsie or maybe a Midwest town.
Depends on what the car is, too.
If it's a pickup truck,
especially a older B-Up one.
A lot of stuff gets filtered into that split-seconds
decision.
If it's a Prius. These colors don't run.
Yeah.
Don't tread on me, dude.
I'll surprise myself.
Wow, you did that.
The guy with truck nuts,
that guy I'm not flipping off.
Yeah, that's a choice.
A lowered Cutlass Supreme.
What's the age of the guy?
See, it all matters.
I don't think that if your car is lowered, I'm not giving you the finger.
That's a good, good point.
Yeah.
Lots of dents either.
I think lots of dents.
I'm like, nah, you know, I'm.
Lots of dents.
Lots of dents.
Like temporary tag.
No.
Nope.
Garbage bag window.
But yeah.
Out.
In real life, out and about, person to person, no chance.
No chance.
Land Rover Defender, finger. life out and about person to person no chance no chance land rover defender finger
hybrid finger i don't know though some of the teslas you never know what you're running into
there i like what this guy did i like what this guy did he didn't let it ruin like as we're reading
the email being like so you just let this guy ruin your night no and guess what happened based on the narration of the
story he gave him the finger awkward as it may be in this interaction meeting a guy immediately
saying fuck it but earl boykins here was like i'm not taking your shit i'm not getting alpha by you
i'm not paying for the table i'm not doing all this stuff i'm not listening to you full send
slash lit the whole fucking thing google map to a bar you live here well if you live if you live here why are we on google map so uh you you change the tone you know what i mean you push the tempo here
you change it all up he wanted to run two minute drill you're like let's hand it off a few times
let's run some clock yeah and it looked like it worked out and you let him know you didn't you
didn't send us an email going oh this guy ruined guy ruined the night. I didn't say anything. What should I have done?
You fucking did it, bro. You gave the guy the finger and I got better. Yeah. I wouldn't be,
I wouldn't be shocked if he has ground his roommate, your friend to a nub by living with
him and doing this every Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And it's just gotten to the point
where there's no resistance anymore. And you came in, you know, like a fucking paratrooper of the
101st and just fucking
fucked shit up for a little bit. I liked it.
I like it. I mean, maybe you're in the
shower like, should I give it in the middle finger? And I think
there's nothing wrong with that. That was kind of a
dated move. He handled it well, too.
Yeah, I agree.
He laughed.
But then he kept being an asshole.
It didn't really work.
Some guys are like that. I told you, like that like that guy in college rich that just would come around and be like what's up pussies you guys playing wiffle ball oh i would
i would fucking kill you guys at wiffle ball it's like yeah well you're not invited but anyway it's
like that guy never learns so i think it's cool that you just got to you got to disrupt his
whatever the fuck it is he does when he gets in weekend mode and uh and it didn't ruin anything so good for you good for you you think you felt weird the
next day how do you think the 55 year old felt right you know what's her text thread like so
last night was yeah there wasn't a couch in the description of what we would be doing tonight
okay that's life advice life advice r gmail.com thanks to kyle thanks to steve thanks to mike
wargon for putting this together ryan rasul podcast ringer spotify Must be 21 and older in present select states.
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