The Ryen Russillo Podcast - NFL Divisional-Round Picks With Mark Schlereth. Plus, Why the Pacers Had to Make the Siakam Trade.

Episode Date: January 19, 2024

Russillo starts the show by sharing his thoughts on the Pacers' trade for Pascal Siakam (0:38). Then, he’s joined by Super Bowl champion and Fox Sports analyst Mark Schlereth to break down all four divisional-round games and get Mark’s picks along the way (18:31). Plus, Life Advice! An update from vending machine guy (47:13)! The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please check out theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Host: Ryen Russillo Guest: Mark Schlereth Producers: Steve Ceruti, Kyle Crichton, and Mike Wargon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

on today's episode of the podcast i do a dive into the siakam trade but more about why teams do this and i don't blame them especially when you look at free agent signings over history especially for the teams that are not always destinations. And we're going to preview all four NFL playoff games with Mark Slareth, a four-leg parlay from your boy on the Bills and Chiefs, and an extended life advice with the Vending Machine Challenge update. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. Winter is here, so be prepared and get almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. What do I mean by almost anything? Well, you can't get a ski slope, but dish soap, definitely doable. Sunshine?

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Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. We have a lot of football to do with Schlaira, so I did want to spend a little time on the big NBA trade from this week with Siakam going to the Pacers from Toronto. So Toronto doing a full reset here after the OG deal, criticism after letting Van Vliet walk, and now Siakam on the move, which is still a few weeks ahead of the trade deadline. It's not normal operating procedure for GMs where you just kind of feel like the longer you wait. But Siakam has been floated around for such a long time, even OG,

where apparently they did turn down multiple first-round picks for OG and then liked the player combo with Barrett and Quigley better, which I don't blame them for. And so now we're kind of looking at Toronto and it's like, all right, what's the next step? Because let's just face it, coming into this year, this is a really disappointing team. It's not as disappointing as Atlanta's up there for disappointment. The Lakers are up there. Golden State's up there.

But Toronto's probably on a short list of five teams. So when I saw the trade when it was first announced, I was like, all right. So the Pacers are moving Bruce Bowen, Jordan Noira, and three first-round picks. And I think I've been the James Cook of just going, dude, these first-round picks are kind of overrated. Like, what's the big deal? But then you have to look at the protections. You have to understand, like, what the risk could be and then what it is down the road.

As far as the pick for this year, if you look at the Pacers and where they're at in the standings with the nice win last night against Sacramento, that pick is 19th. All right. Now this is also considered a very terrible draft, especially like an all-time terrible draft, especially at the top. That will change. It will be in May and people start telling you how much they like the draft. But this has been a draft that two years out, I've heard people going like, man, 24 is going to be bad. All right. So the first round pick pick of their own that's 19th, the first-round pick of the worst of either Utah, Houston, L.A., or OKC, and that's OKC as of right now, so that'd be the 27th pick. So you're looking at 19 and 27 this year. The one that is a little scary is the 26th first-round pick

from the Pacers going to Toronto that's top four protected. Now, it's very simple to say, hey, with Halliburton, they re-sign Siakam. Matherin takes another step. Maybe one of the other younger players plays well. Who knows? You don't have to worry about that thing being the fifth or sixth pick. That seems likely today, but we don't know that. Because the funny thing about this draft surplus, as we've seen in recent years, just everybody trading as many picks as they can for some of these players, that there's going to be one transaction we'll look back years later and go, oh my God, I can't believe what they gave up. And then it's going to feel like there's an identical transaction just based on the number of picks involved, where we'll look back on that one

going, dude, they gave up nothing. One of the first ended up carrying over to becoming a second. They got to pick a 21 and 28 and the other one. It'll be weird because we still don't have the final price tally on a lot of these transactions that were just a big part of this boom for everybody going like, look, let's just keep moving all of our first rounders. When I first saw it, my first thing was, okay, but if you're going to move that, even if you're talking about two picks in this year's draft, thinking what we think of it today, and the 26 top four protected, you better know you're keeping Siakam. That can't be a rental for a team that probably still isn't getting through with Siakam, getting through the top teams that are in the East. Who knows? Could be, but I don't know that all of a sudden the Pacers' defense is going to be enough that it's going to make them competitive with a Boston, a Milwaukee, a Philadelphia. Milwaukee's one of the strangest teams ever. You look up two seed, really good record, keep winning games.

Then there'll just be this blip every four or five games where defensively, you're like, what is wrong with those guys? So when I didn't have any information on Siakam's intention, I was a little more worried about it for the Pacers. But the feeling, especially if you're going by what Woj has been saying, the phrasing specifically about what Siakam's interest is in staying this summer and staying with the Pacers. And then me digging around a little bit where it's like they had to have known that Siakam was cool with staying in Indiana, which isn't going to be for everybody. And it's nothing against the Pacers. There's probably more than half the teams in the league where you go, I don't know that that's ever going to be a destination. And I'd put the Pacers in that group as well, even with Halliburton's massive step that he's taken this season. So if Siakam's cool with it, instead of wanting to be kind of wind and dine and being looked at one of the top free

agents with this offseason class, which I've got to get into here for a second too. Like if Siakam's cool with it, they already kind of know. It seems like the Pacers are smart enough. They're going to move that kind of stuff. Whatever you think of the picks, you'd have to have some assurance that you're good to go with Siakam in some kind of an extension that he doesn't want to be courted by everybody or he doesn't want to go somewhere else, it gives a better chance to win. Then I like the deal for the Pacers. And here's why it gets back to the Danny Angel. The Angel, it's not necessarily he that invented it, but it was the first time it was explained to me years and years ago, like 15 years ago when I was still in Boston. And I talked to Angel and, you know, I was like as a younger guy and depending on who I was

influenced by and the different NBA writers or the different people I would talk to I just kept always thinking like oh wow this team will have this cap space and oh you can't do that deal because it's going to get it's going to get in the way of their cap space cap space cap space cap space and Ainge is like you guys you guys overrate cap space so much. It's a joke. Go back historically on how many players are actually moving. It's a cool plan to sell to your fans while you're not losing games, but then all of a sudden you're going to use that cap space and you're bidding against everybody else. And if you have that much cap space, it means your team probably isn't even that good.

So who's actually going to show up that's going to alter the course of who your franchise is? I remember Orlando resetting the decks and thinking they were getting Duncan. They ended up with Grant Hill. That was this thing at the time. I'm like, God, they're so smart. And then since that time in the last, what, 20 years, you're going, oh, a lot of teams do that and they end up being burnt and they have to spend their money on somebody they didn't even want to. So if you're looking at the free agent class and some of these websites need to work on their top free agent list, you just shouldn't be putting the restricted free agent. Tyrese Maxey is the number one free agent because he's restricted. So it should be the real free agents. If you're looking at the real free agents, OG and Anobi, well, they probably have some understanding for them to move that

many pieces to pay for that trade in OG in New York. So again, I don't know how realistic it is that he's a real free agent. Paul George with the Clippers, okay, maybe. I mean, that becomes another thing too when you look at some of these players that have the player options where if you had cap space and you were banking it for the soft season and you're being told by the agent, like, okay, my guy's opting out, my guy's opting out, and then he doesn't opt out or he ends up getting an extension. There's just so much unknown. And the angel was always, I would rather use cap space or at least ruin my own cap space and ruins the wrong word. But I'd rather just make a transaction where I know with 100% certainty of who I'm getting.

And in this case, that's exactly what the Pacers did. Like Siakam, believe it or not, once you sift through kind of the nonsense of some of these free agent lists that are out there, you could argue Siakam might have been like the number one, just free and clear, anyone can bid on him free agent this off season. And that sounds crazy as I said it out loud just now. And even when I wrote it down earlier this morning, I'm like, is he really the number one guy? And you're like, realistically obtainable?

Maybe. I like Siakam. I probably should like him more than I do. And that's what it is. It's a like one year and doing the all NBA voting, I've had it two years. I think there was a year where I was like, is he 15 or 16? I may have put Jimmy Butler over him. I'd have to go back and look at it again. But I was like, man, we're talking about somebody who is going to get third team votes here. Why don't you like him more? There's definitely a fall off in the playoffs. I think he becomes a

little bit predictable and maybe easier to guard. I don't know that there's a ton of spacing with him, but him at 29, 30 in April and considering what else is available for a Pacers organization that is not a destination and the fact that you're adding him to Halliburton, who looks like he's going to be a real star in this league. So you're showing that you're committed to this. Like it makes a lot of sense for the Pacers to go, hey, Siakam's probably better than anybody that we can use our cap space on. So let's just go ahead and do that. If we get the assurance that he wants to stay and two of these picks might not even matter. And if we're good, the 2026 pick might not be that big of a deal. It's kind of a home run for the Pacers.

There's also something else that I want to bring up. Because one of the other rules that I think about is like the Vooch rule. And the Vooch rule is this. If you're the Bulls, and those picks ended up being far more disastrous than I think anything we project for the Pacers if this goes wrong. But the Bulls make a deal. And at the time, I'm like, well, at least they're just trying to figure out a way to compete. They're right on the DeRozan thing. The Levine issue is what it is. They're right on Caruso. It sucks about Lonzo Ball. You're like, man, at least they're just trying to figure out a way to compete. They're right in the DeRozan thing. The Levine issue is what it is. They're right on Caruso.

It sucks about Lonzo Ball. You're like, man, that's starting five. Patrick Williams. You get what I'm saying. If you're a Bulls fan, you're kind of playing along going, best case scenario and all these different things. But what did the Vooch contract, or I should say it this way, what did the Vooch acquisition guarantee you if you were the Bulls paying

that kind of premium price? Did it guarantee you another round in the playoffs? Because it felt like at least guaranteed that you were competitive now in the East, but not the elite tier. But it didn't really guarantee anything. And based on what the team hasn't done in the playoffs, it's probably below even expectations. So if you look at the Pacers and you go, well, if you add Siakam, what does it guarantee? Does it guarantee you an Easter Conference Finals? No. Does it guarantee you the second round? Is it still a no? You know, like, well, let's see what he looks like once he's there. Cleveland continues. When you look at the standards, you're like, Cleveland's still the four seed. Like, how are they doing this without Garland and Mobley? And they just keep beating teams. It's incredible. But I think a lot of fans would have to be reminded that

Cleveland was even a four seed here. So maybe it guarantees you the second round, but guarantees probably the wrong word here. More likely to get to the second round. That's fine. But the counter to the Siakam transaction is, okay, but what is your ceiling? And I think it's fair, but it's irrelevant in the bigger scope of what you're discussing here if you're a front office going, hey, we're adding a guy in here that we're likely not going to be able to get elsewhere. And if we want to wait around and keep waiting around, then we're going to have to do what we just did, and that's spend cap space on Bruce Brown, who's a nice player. And when the reports first came out about what Bruce Brown's deal was, it was two years, 45 million. We found out very quickly that the second year was a club option. So it's like, is he really going to get the 45 million from whoever

has his rights? Is he really going to get that kind of money? But it was kind of that big number, let's use the cap space, shorter deal. But Bruce Brown, Sons, Jokic is not somebody that I'm super interested in investing in. There's a lot of players that with Jokic, I'd be like, I don't know that I want to pay him the Jokic stat prices. Jabari Parker got a deal five years ago, over five years ago, where he got one year 20 million with a club option on the second year. But that was another one of those, let's pay a big number on the shorter deal, allow us flexibility. They ended up trading them later that year anyway. Here's another little added element to all of this as I talk about free agency and cap space, because now the players aren't doing shorter deals for the most part. They're just going to

do their contract. They're going to max it out as much as they can. If they want to ask out, they'll ask out. That's going to change a bit just based on what their options are and where they can go with the new, basically a hard cap at the top of this for the most expensive teams. really like Houston. Nobody would take their cap space. Now, it wasn't a very good team. I mean, I shouldn't say nobody's going to take it because two players clearly did, but they weren't getting a primo guy this year. So they pay Van Vliet three years, 129 million, third year's a team option. Brooks gets 86 million, four years, fully guaranteed. So when the numbers come out,'re like man those are massive numbers for dylan brooks and fred van vliet and that's part of the pacers discussion is it's like well you can get siakam now and pay the price of draft picks but if you resign him like wouldn't

you rather give him the 40 plus million um then not have any idea and then be stuck with the cap space and being like, who's left? Like, all right, I don't know. Do you want to give that guy one year and 28 million? Because we don't really like them, but we have to use the space. When you look at Charlotte, right? They spent four years, 120 million on Gordon Hayward. It technically ended up being a sign of trade, but that was about him having the leverage

to be able to do it. The injury thing alone, 168 games for the Hornets clearly wasn't worth it, but the Hornets had to pay Hayward because they were the Hornets. And that's a staggering number. The Mavs, when they broke up the 2011 team, people were upset about it and they played the result because they didn't get back and their whole off-season plan and cap space didn't really work out. I didn't really have that big of an issue with that team being broken up, but it's easy to say it was a huge mistake. Years are moved, but they were, once again, the Mavs feel like they've done this a lot under Cuban. Clear the decks, set up for cat space,

let's figure it out. They ended up with Monte Ellis for 25 million bucks. Denver, a couple of years ago, well, I don't know, maybe five or six years ago, they brought in Paul Millsap. He was 32 years old, 90 million over three years. And I mean, look, Millsap was okay, but he wasn't prime Millsap. But it was another place in Denver where, you know, look, for the most part, it's been a really good organization, but it's not been a destination for anybody. And they had cap space. They wanted to add to what they had. They paid

$90 million to Paul Millsap. Detroit had a deal where Josh Smith got 54 million over four years. Look, they paid Ben Gordon and Villanueva huge money prior to that too when they tried to figure it out on the fly. Josh was waived in the second season. They paid him until 2020 with a stretch provision. Memphis, in the cap spike year of 2016, they spent $94 million on Chandler Parsons, who played 95 games. I saw a thing from two years ago as I was researching this, because I was looking at the non-destination teams and the cap spending that they've had.

Look, there's some teams that have clearly hit it, but it's such a flawed plan. And it's an almost impossible plan for about two-thirds of the franchises in this league. There was an Oklahoma City piece up from August of 21 that ranked the Thunder's top five free agent signings. I don't know if this is wrong or if I'm missing something because I can't remember every single transaction for every team over the last 20 years, but number five was Karan Butler. Number four was Patrick Patterson. Number three was Danad Krischich. Two was Derek Fisher. Number one was New Orleans Noel. Like, wait, Mischich might have a chance after this year to crack that top five that is the point the price the three the headline of three firsts sounds bad the two firsts this year probably

aren't going to be anything you're worried about there's some exposure in 26 if things just went bad then you couldn't say predictably bad, but you never know. Atlanta probably didn't think those picks were going to be as high as they're going to be when they did the DeJounte Murray transaction. But if you're one of those teams, and I think the smarter teams, they go, I just would rather pull something off now than waiting around and hoping to predict all these things that become really tough to predict. So if they re-sign him, home run for the Pacers.

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switch it around a little bit if you want to. But it's up on the website right now in FanDuel Sportsbook. So here's what we went with. Suri and I spent a lot of time on this. Rasheed Rice, anytime touchdown score. Feels doable. Dalton Kincaid, plus 25 yards receiving. Certainly doable. Josh Allen, under 43.5 rushing yards. Feel like it's going to be a point of emphasis for this defense, and this defense is much better than the other defenses. And considering that Allen,

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a no-sweat same-game parlay. That means you can combine all your bets for a chance at a bigger payday. You'll get bonus bets back if your same-game parlay doesn't win. Just visit FanDuel.com slash Ryan, R-Y-E-N. If you don't already have an account, make every moment more with FanDuel, an official sportsbook partner of the NFL. 21 and older. President selects states. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit TheRinger.com forward slash RG. Minimum three-leg parlay requirement.

Refund issued is not withdrawalable. Bonus bets expire seven days after receipt. Max refund $5 unless otherwise specified. Restrictions apply. See terms at Sportsbook.FanDuel.com. Great to catch up with a guy that I love spending time with back at ESPN, now with Fox Sports and 104.3 The Fan in Denver. Three-time Super Bowl champ, it's Mark Schlaireth.

What's up, man? It's good to see you. It's good to see you, Matt. Great to hear your voice. Great to see you on camera here. I look forward to the time when we bump into each other down the road. Are you going to be at the Super Bowl? Are you going to the Super Bowl? I'll be in town for a couple of days. I usually get out of there before. So, yeah, so I do this. I do the same thing. I fly in, kind of do whatever I have to do radio wise and then get out before the game. Well, you know, I wouldn't blame you for staying the ageless. I should, I should have introduced you that way. The ages. I don't think there's

been a TV guy that's aged as well as you have. Well, I don't know about, I don't know about all that, but, uh, I'm an absolute, uh, freak show. I'm a unit. I am a stronger than the day is long. And, uh, I've been training, like I'm making a comeback. Why? I don't, why not? Like, well, I don't know what. I usually don't do this at the start of interviews and derail them. What's, uh, what's going on with you? We talking higher T levels. Like all of a sudden you're just taking it on. Yeah. You know what? It's, it's funny. My wife, like my wife hates working out. And so she's like, she has a trainer and I've known this guy for 25 years.

You know, I knew him when I was playing here in Denver and she's like, I just don't want to lift anymore. She goes, and she had a bunch of appointments already. You know, she already purchased them. She goes, why don't you take over my appointments? I'm like, all right. I, you know, cause I've been doing my own thing and I get in to, to this with a trainer and we start going to town and, you know, he's used to working on a bunch of 65 year old blue hairs and I walk in there and I'm like, let's go. And then it becomes this competition like guys, you know, like, and he's trying to kill me. I'm like, fuck you. You ain't

getting me. And so, I mean, we go back and forth and back and forth. And I've got these training sessions that are just ludicrous. And like, I got all these aches and pains and stuff. I have worked through the majority of my pain. Um, like I said, I'm strong as the day is long. I'm too heavy, but, um, I feel great. I feel better right now. I'm going to, I'm about ready to turn 58 years old. I feel better right now than I did at 36. When I retired, my body feels amazing. Absolutely amazing. And I am punishing it on a, uh, on a weekly basis. All right.

I, I love hearing this. This makes me feel great because I was doing something the other day where it was more of a, it wasn't a lifting thing. It was a combat sport thing. And I started, I've been doing it for like four or five months.

And I had a day the other day where I was like why the fuck are you doing this again yeah i was like this i was like this hurts this is hard this is like i don't want to have to do that next thing you know i could just leave i could not do it and i'm gonna it's gonna then you know whatever like everybody you get through the hour and you're like all right that, that was awesome. Yeah, right. Real quick, man, my daughter went with me. She was home over, shoot, I guess it was probably over Christmas that my youngest daughter came. Well, everybody was home, but my youngest daughter went to the gym with me. And I am doing some circuit with, you know, squats and trap and, um, trap bar deadlifts. And like, I am

killing myself and I'm like literally about ready to pass out. And my, my, and she's 30, my youngest daughter is 30. She's literally almost in tears going quit. You're going to hurt my dad. Like you're going to kill my dad. And he's like, my trainer's like, his name is Fuji. And he's Fuji's like, ah, your dad's fine. I don't even worry his name is fuji and he's fuji's like ah your dad's fine i don't even worry about him right and it it's been it's been hilarious man but i've had a great time doing it great time i defer to fuji anybody named fuji man i mean next time i come to town i might i might hit him up when i'm in denver exactly all right so look there's a lot of games here that i you know we got four of them and i'm kind of fascinated for all their individual storylines.

Let me start with the Buffalo Kansas City headliner. Are you an Allen guy? Oh, I do like Allen. There's no question. I like Allen. I know this. If I'm Kansas City, I'm saying that fake slide bullshit. That ain't going to happen because we're going to take two personal fouls in this game.

And like we can afford two personal fouls. And when that guy runs and he will run, somebody tried to land, land based him. Like that would be my number one rule. If I'm the Kansas city chiefs right now, defensively, the way we're playing their top five defense,

they're, they're, you know, exceptional from rushing the pastor standpoint, their coverage stuff is, is great, man. They're there. I mean, they're a really good defense.

This is the best defense since 2018, since Patrick Mahomes became the quarterback of the Kansas City Chiefs that they have ever had. And so they can rely on that. So when you have that style of defense and that type of defense, you can allow yourself a couple of personal fouls. Like that's part of the game plan. Like if you're not very good, you can't.

You can't do that. But they're good enough to say, we're going to give up 15 and send a message. And there's a little frontier justice in there that reminds me back of the day when I played, which is, I think, a good thing. And solid, really good, top-notch defenses can do that in today's game.

Yeah, that run run whether it was the fake slide the kenny pickett deal or just the fear that everyone has like i'll see i try not to get caught up in i can't believe they threw the flag there i can't believe that through the flag there but there's just too many slides especially when it's like third and six and the quarterback finds a way out and you go i'm trying to prevent the first down like what am i supposed to do here but again the bigger picture here is when everybody bitches about the safety of the league, this is the byproduct. This is what you get then.

Everybody wants to be mad that it's not safe, that they're not doing enough to protect the players. Well, now they're doing it, and nobody seems to like that either. You're right about this defense, though, with Kansas City. I couldn't believe it when I looked up the Week 14 numbers again when the Bills won that one by three. But Diggs, Davis, and Shakir, five combined catches for 36 yards. What is it about this Kansas City secondary that probably doesn't get talked about as much as Chris Jones and Bolton? Yeah, I think Bolton's been great. Chris Jones and Carl Loftus is a really good secondary pass rusher.

They've got a lot of players. I just look at them when they're in press. They've got a lot of players. I just look at them when they're in press. They do such a good job of disrupting routes, disrupting the offense and and dominating. And, you know, I mean, you saw the thing with Tyreek Hill basically saying, man, Snead sent me back to you. He sent me to Cancun like he's just absolutely dominant. I mean, a lot of scrimmage like they're really good at that stuff. And so there's a complimentary nature to what they're doing to disrupt the routes that allow, you know, even if you get beat, if you get beat late, as long as you're not beat early,

you get beat late, it allows Chris Jones and the rest of those guys to get there. So there's a complimentary nature to what they're doing on the defensive side of the ball that I think is exceptional. So it sounds like you're leaning Chiefs in this one. Yeah, I think that and the fact that the Buffalo Bills right now, both little middle linebackers missed all their practice. Milano got hurt earlier in the season. You got Tredavious White, who's an outstanding corner, getting hurt.

Both their starting corners were dinged up in last week's game. They've got a bunch of dudes on the injury report. I went through the injury report this morning, and it concerns me, you know, because did not practice, did not practice with these two starting middle linebackers on Wednesday and Thursday. Now you start to look at, hey, man, if you're not a great offensive team or a great offensive coordinator, like maybe that doesn't really bother you. But for me, I start to look at, okay, well, what's the injury? Is it a knee injury? Well, now I'm going to work my wide zone stuff,

cut back runs, try to put that guy in a precarious position that plays linebacker, right? I want to get after that guy. Or let's say it's a low back injury. The guy's having a problem. Well, now I'm going ISO game. I'm going gap game. I'm coming right down with a 320 pound guard and I'm going to make you use your back. You know, this is kind of the, this is like make you, I'm going to stress whatever that injury is. You got a hamstring in the passing game. If it's a hamstring and you're a middle linebacker, we're going to be running seam routes and you're going to have to carry the seam in a three by one formation. Good luck. We're going to put you in a stressed position. So, you know, that's how the NFL and good coordinators operate

when guys are dinged up but guys are hurt. And Andy Reid is a damn good play caller, and they're a damn good offense. And Pacheco has been great. Like the middle linebacker position, where's Kansas City hurt you? They hurt you running the football down the middle of the football field, and they hurt you with Travis Kelsey at the tight end position. So these are things that concern me about Buffalo going into this game. Yeah, Bernard is one of the linebackers you're talking about.

He's been really good. And, you know, I read this earliest thing before taping, and it was like, we still have hope. But Gabe Davis is going to be out of this one as well. So the injury matchup through this one, it's certainly like the Bills. It's funny about the Bills because there was a stretch where Jones was out, Milano was out, Tredavious was out. There was two other starters, I think, that were out very early in the season.

And you're going, how are they going to figure this? And yet they still, without a lot of those players, closed. Jones came back in the very end of the season or in the playoff game. But, you know, they still kind of found a way. So I want to ask you that it's just kind of as you've gone into different seasons, maybe just the playoff part of it. Like all these names can get lost outside of the quarterbacks and the big stars and all that stuff where it's like, man, we lost because we were on our third corner or we lost because, you know, the nickel guys actually like a special teams gunner on, you know, on punt coverage. What is that like? Cause you know, there's only so many roster spots. Like, do you go, I can't believe that guy's playing. And then to have other scenarios where

you've had seasons, you were like, thank God we kept an extra corner or, you know, thank God we have an extra offensive lineman. How do the names that are so easy to forget, how does that work when you're getting ready for this kind of playoff game? Because I'm sure it's different from team to team. Yeah, I think it is different from team to team. I think sometimes the other thing that ends up happening to you is you lose a guy that's just a locker room glue guy.

You're so compartmentalized in football, right? You go to different meeting rooms, you go to different areas on the practice field where you practice and all that kind of stuff. There are some guys that connect offense to defense, special teams to defense and offense. There's just some of those guys that are just so vitally important. They're kind of the lifeblood that courses through the veins of your locker room. And you lose those guys. And oftentimes they're just backup guys that, for instance, give you a look on scouting. And, you know, you may have a linebacker that's just a pure special teams guy that gives you, he plays, you know, in my day, he played junior Seau or he played Derek Thomas or, you know, and, and he's so damn good at mimicking

that player. And he'll study that player during the week. And then he'll give you that look. So as you're the tackle or you're the guard taking on that guy or whatever it is, he'll give you a look that's so realistic during the week of practice that you get into the game and you're like, Oh yeah, man, I'm so confident and I'm so good and I'm so prepared to play this. All of a sudden you don't have that guy. And the guy that replaces him on the look squad doesn't do the job. And like little things like that, that happen over the course of a week can really make the difference between obviously winning and losing. When I look at San Francisco in this matchup, you know, like the Green Bay thing, like sometimes I think there's mistakes in the wildcard round where you're like, whoa. Now, the Jordan Love part of this is real. Since week 10, number two QBR in the NFL. What Baltimore's done defensively here, not only just all season, but as they've closed it out. There are some things that are real, but I can't get past that Green Bay's defense is still a major problem.

has that Green Bay's defense is still a major problem. And, you know, I was digging into some of the nerd stuff on the personnel groupings and that San Francisco, when they have their 21 personnel, the two backs, like it's not fair. Like their 21 personnel is completely different than everybody else's because of McCaffrey. So if you, if you focus on how they run their stuff on offense and all the options, the defense has to think about, this has to be a turnover win for Green Bay, I think, to even have a chance in this one, unless Love is just going to go nuts against a defense that I think is probably going to be better than Dallas'. Yeah, I agree with you on that.

I think San Francisco does such a phenomenal job, and I did the last two games, last two San Francisco games of the season, so Week 17 and Week 18. And obviously I played for Mike Shanahan, so I've got a tight relationship with Kyle. I've known Kyle since he was 14. Um, but just some of the stuff they do, man, like, like the way they block a defensive end. So, so I'll just give you a, for instance, cause it's, it's just interesting stuff. Like they're running a wide zone, right? And, and so they've got tackle tight end and all of a sudden they're running a wide zone, right? And so they've got tackle tight end.

And all of a sudden, they're tray blocking that, right? And now all of a sudden, they get into west formation. So now they've got two tight ends, and they're quad blocking that. Now they run back into the single tight end formation, and that guy arc releases in a fullback. Use shake comes from the inside out and basically inside traps that guy, but you're still running 19 handoff. Now all of of a sudden you get lined up in two tight ends, you arc release and you double team with tackle tight end right now. All of a sudden you motion from outside, outside in

and bam, you crack that defensive end and you run your transportation series to the outside. So I just explained seven different ways to block a defensive end. And by the time you get the third and seven, your head's on a swivel and you're actually not rushing the passer anymore because you're like, where are they going to hit me from? Like, where are they coming from? And they are so exceptional at that. And the cool thing about that is you're running, like, let's say you're running an 18 handoff. I just gave you seven different ways to block the defensive end with the way San Francisco runs their personnel groupings and ones, their, their system, seven different ways to block that for nine people. It's identical. Doesn't matter. I'm running the exact same thing for nine of us for two guys. They have a slight switch up,

but for the defensive end and the defense, it looks like legitimately seven different plays. And it's one play with one blocking combination on one edge that completely screws people up. And they do it better than anybody else. Ryan, I probably spent just in the offseason, you know, my relationships with coaches, and I do some consulting and some things of that nature. I probably talked to maybe 12 different O-line slash coordinator type people. Every one of them, everyone I talked to last off season was studying San Francisco's run game. How do we implement it? Like every single one of them,

um, they are head and shoulders above everybody else when it comes to that creating space. And you mentioned the versatility. Deebo Samuels can play tailback. He can play wide receiver. Christian McCaffrey can run any route at the wide receiver position. He can play tailback. Juszczyk can be a slot receiver.

He can be a tight end. He can be a fullback. You know, Kyle Juszczyk, or excuse me, Kittle can do the same thing. He can play for fullback. He can play for tight end. So even when you get into a personnel, like you get Tiger, or excuse me, Kittle, can do the same thing. He played for fullback. He played for tight end. So even when you get into a personnel, like you get Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, which is two tight ends, like you could still be in a fullback. Like you could still be in actually run 21 personnel plays

out of two tight end personnel because they've got such versatility. So as a defense, you're just always on your heels. 100% of the time, you're on your heels. And if Green Bay's defense have been better as of late and you know look they came up with the big plays the two picks were huge against dallas but that game just gets so out of hand like i don't know and that's kind of what i talk about like sometimes you can make mistakes the wild card round where you're like okay but green bay's going into this game against this team right with these options that we just talked about with the defense that was the most frustrating part of their miraculous turnaround in the second half because the defense was still like

I know I don't know I don't know if they have the dudes but I've I've been in love with the offense like a lot of people with the younger receivers and Aaron Jones coming on but I yeah I nerded out in the film a little bit I don't even really know what the hell I'm looking at Schlereths and I'm going wait they've got a motion debo then a sweep handoff that they block to that side and the whole thing like all the action is to that side and the play is actually to the right yeah purdy's quick enough and whatever it's it's a kind of like a one option read because you probably have to chuck it if it's not there but it's like think of all that they're putting in just for the misdirection that's just a play

action that's the entire thing that they're doing against what's been a pretty undisciplined Green Bay defense. Houston destroyed Cleveland. Depending on which numbers you want to look at, Cleveland's either the best or one of the three best defenses. I think it felt like the safety situation. I thought Jim Schwartz with his man coverage and those corners, it was going to be tough considering Nico was the only guy able to go with tank out at receiver. And it just didn't matter. So knowing that, was there enough there for you to think that that's sustainable against Baltimore's defense? No. I mean, I think you look at that game, I thought Flacco was really good right up until he wasn't.

Right up until he made the disastrous decision to try to throw one away and he got picked six, and then he came back and just let a linebacker just eye-pump him and steal one and get down the sideline. So, I mean, then LSM becomes a blowout. It's cool both with Green Bay and with Houston. 21 attempts. Both quarterbacks had 21 attempts. And, you know, things for me, like when you're a passing offense, and this is just my experience in the NFL,

as much as we try to make this college football, it's not. And when you're kind of a passing offense, it's really hard to pass yourself back into a rhythm. When you fall out of rhythm, you got to run the football, you got to win the battle of trenches. You gotta, you gotta be physical, all those things. And I thought green Bay and Houston did those things. Um, I won the, won the battle of the trenches, you know, won the line of scrimmage. And, um, you know, I thought Laramie Tunsil absolutely, you know, won the line of scrimmage. And, you know, I thought Laramie Tunsell absolutely, you know, was great in his one-on-one opportunities. And you don't

try to give a lot of those against Miles Garrett, but he was great when he had to do that stuff. And so, yeah, I think that, I think that I was surprised about the Houston. I thought Cleveland would win that game. I was surprised. I will tell you, doing a bunch of Houston games, C.J. Stroud is an old soul. He's got unbelievable maturity. And he just is so judicious in his decision-making process.

He just understands he will only scramble when need be. And he does not hesitate to throw the ball away and live to fight another day. And it just is the maturity there will always have them in games because he won't make bad decisions. He just won't. It's a rookie heavy snap team. I found this number this morning. It's over 1800 snaps by rookies, which is the sixth most in 2023. So you're like, okay, so five teams actually had more snaps by rookies,

but it's the first team to win a post season game with that many snaps by rookies since they started tracking it in 2000. So I, I am surprised it gets so ugly against Cleveland, but that's the downside of Flacco. Like even with this Flacco resurgence thing that was a lot of fun, the guy was still throwing a million picks all over the place. Yeah.

And I don't think that's going to happen with Lamar. What have you seen about Baltimore, the entire package that seems more buttoned up? And I know Lamar is kind of the headliner of that, but Zay Flowers I think is the best receiver he's ever had. What they do on the back end, and it looks like Hamilton is going to be good to go in this one. It looks like Humphrey's going to be out at corner for them.

But what is it that you see with the Ravens total package and doing games this year that puts them in? Look, Kansas City, Buffalo, Cincinnati, all these other teams that we put ahead of and against the AFC, what is it about them this year's version that makes you like them so much? Well, I think one is they win the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball on a consistent basis. One thing about John Harbaugh is his teams play physical. They play nasty that way. They can run the ball. They can defend the run. The other thing they do

defensively, their front seven is pretty incredible. And I think they're incredibly athletic at the linebacker position with both Queen and obviously, oh, shoot, I don't know why I lost his name. The Chicago guy, Roquan Smith. They're incredibly athletic, so it gives you an opportunity to walk up, to blitz, to do a bunch of different things with them, create one-on-one opportunities for your defensive players, your defensive tackles,

your defensive ends. They can walk up in an A-gap and still get to their hook drop and get to 14 yards depth or 10 yards depth or whatever they need to get to and take away the get to 14 yards depth or 10 yards depth or whatever they need to get to and take away the in-cutting routes. And they're really good at that type of stuff. So I think Baltimore athletically, physically, they're really gifted.

And the other thing that I think Lamar, the growth of Lamar, obviously you mentioned Zay Flowers and the talent they have, Beckham, the talent they have, Beckham, the talent they have on the outside. But I think the growth of Lamar, his ability to extend the play and not just take off and run, but extend the play, hold the ball. And, you know, it's the second play behind the first one. And I thought San Francisco early in the game that they won on Christmas day, I thought San Francisco really did a good job early in the game that they won on Christmas Day. I thought San Francisco really did a good job early in that game of basically what we call cage rushing or, you know, mush

rushing and keeping them in the pocket and making Lamar beat you from the pocket, which he's proven he can do, but he's not as efficient and he's not as big play potential as when he's out and he's scrambling around. And so, um, you know, they designed San Francisco design probably four or five free rushers at him and he made every one of them miss. And then, you know, then Lamar, like when that happens, you're in deep trouble. I almost, I almost wouldn't blitz Lamar. I almost just say, hey, man, we're rushing four.

We're going to stay in our lanes. We're going to just try to condense the pocket. And hey, if you beat us from the pocket, more power to you. But I'm not letting you scramble around for seven seconds and throw a 40-yarder to a receiver who has broke off his route and a DB who's standing flat-footed worrying about you running. That's a great segue because speaking of the Blitz, Tampa put on a Blitz festival against Philadelphia in the wildcard game.

I mean, the number that I still – there's all sorts of numbers that were bad for Philadelphia, but the one I can't get over is there were 10 free rushers that got pressure that's the most in any game all season long it's led to all the Sirianni questions which I think are fair because you're like look I know that there's a limit on what I can understand of what's going on in a game especially just watching on the tv at home but you're like all right like where where's the adjustment like what is it and it it just never happened. So if you look at Tampa Bay's blitz history against Goff, they blitzed them on 18 of 48 dropbacks in week six. I think there's probably

a little bit more trust with the offensive play calling at this point now with Detroit, with Ben Johnson, everything that's happened, despite what some think of Goff. Cool for Tampa. I can't fathom they're going to go into Detroit and do the same thing, especially with Detroit watching all of that film, unless Bowles just does a 180 and tries to just go away from the most recent film. But I don't know that they'll be able to live that happy again for 60 minutes the way they did against Philadelphia. Because everybody, people that don't even know what they're talking about was like, that's weird. That seems like it's bad right now. What do you think? Yeah. I played with Todd Bowles in Washington for a lot of years. Todd is a great coordinator, but Todd is a pressure guy.

That's what he believes in. And he's got the corners to stand up. Davis can do that. They've got a couple of corners that can really run and they can really play. Dean is a really good player as well. You know, Winfield, DB is exceptional. And they got linebackers. The thing that really set them up, they got linebackers that can flat run.

Levante David is just unbelievable. Both their linebackers are just really, really outstanding guys who can cheat zones so they can drop and get depth and make you throw it underneath, rally up, and something that you think you're going to get six or seven yards, you're getting two. That's the type of linebackers they have. So it leads them. It gives them that opportunity to bring pressure.

And one of the things that Todd will do a lot, he'll pressure you on first down. Like in downs you don't expect. And the reason he does it is he wants you behind the chains so that he doesn't have to pressure on third down so he can play coverage. You know what I'm saying? So he'll try to get you behind the line of scrimmage on first down so he can play coverage. You know what I'm saying? So he'll try to get you behind the line of scrimmage on first down, you know, on a run play where he'll run blitz you and you'll be at second down and 12. And then, you know, and then he'll get you behind

the chains. He'll play that game where on third down and seven, now I can play two chains and drop guys and make you throw it underneath, rally up and tackle, and get off the football field. So it's an early down pressure system. One thing I love about Detroit and Ben Johnson, you watch Ben Johnson, just his play calling ability. They'll run the ball. They'll be under center about 40% of the time, which lends to better play action, better fakes.

But their second down and third down and long run package is exceptional. They're one of the top in football. And the reason that's important to me is you get favorable looks in the run game. So you run some inside trap and some other things on second and long and third and long. And it keeps the defense honest. It doesn't let them pin their ears back and just come after you all the time. So those are, those are breakout type of runs when you can time up your blitzes and stuff. So, um, there are just, there are really good football team. Uh, Detroit is as far as running the ball and taking advantage of some of that blitz stuff.

And then Jared golf, just his ability to throw in tight windows and having a guy like Amon Ross St. Brown is tough as it comes inside. I kind of love what they're doing. Last thing on this game, because it sounds like you're leaning Detroit. I talk to my buddies and go like, hey, is Aiden Hutchinson in this group? And a lot of the former players were like, no. He's good, but he's not those other guys. But he's been on a tear these last few weeks, and I think the matchup against Tampa's right tackle

certainly favors Hutchinson. Have you seen anything from him? Is it just an energy thing? Because the numbers in the eye test are telling you there's another level that he's getting to here late in the year. Yeah, his effort is unrelenting. His effort is great. Sometimes I think he doesn't set moves up. Sometimes he just throws, you know, he throws his counter move before he

actually sets up his counter move. Um, and you know, that's a young guy with a ton of energy, but he plays exceptionally hard. I'll tell you the other thing, um, that I like about Detroit's defense. And I think they're pretty, I think they're average, but C.J. Gardner-Johnson coming back, he tore his pec, I think, in week two, and they just held off for him. Him coming back, he brings an energy and a toughness to their back end because their corners are suspect, but he brings energy and toughness to their back end that I think is pretty exceptional. So that's a guy that I think is a difference maker for Detroit. So it sounds like you're going with the three home teams in Kansas City.

Yes, exactly. That's where I'm going. All right, Mark Shalhoub, Fox Sports. Enjoyed you all season long, and it was great to catch up today. Thanks as always. You want details? Fine. I drive a Ferrari.

355 Cabriolet. What's up? I have a ridiculous house in the South Fork. I have every toy you could possibly imagine. And best of all, kids, I am liquid. So, now you know what's possible. Let me tell you what's required. Okay, everybody, it's Friday.

I'm excited about today's life advice. I don't know if we can really top Wednesday after the Christmas savings account from Kyle, which I had numerous college buddies reach out and be like, can you fathom any of us having a separate account for Christmas presents? Now, certain guys that I lived with were rich because either they were working or their family, like they just, I had certain friends in college it was was like money was just never, ever going to be an issue. No matter what. I remember one couple, well, they were called parents back then, but they showed up and they were like, God, you know, and they were, I'm not going to know what it was on. And it was just like, time to reload the account. And he was just like, man, nine hundo on just expenses,

living in the dorm with your food paid. That kid was living fat. All right. Life advice, life advice, rr at gmail.com. Um, so Kyle, just salute to you on, as Saruti nailed it, the heart in the absolute right place, the plan to accomplish something that could not be executed. Look, I would have done the same thing. I mean, if I had, well, I wouldn't even start the Christmas account, but the idea that like on a Friday, dudes are going out. I'm like, I'm pretty low on funds.

Like, I can't dip into the Christmas account, like wipe it out. Much easier to make money in college. I'll tell you that it felt it felt that way at least wait it was easier that might be its own episode well i told you i had a cigarette business going on and it was just like there's no need for it there's lucy spots all over the place in poughkeepsie and it's just a there was a different demand i couldn't i couldn't find the hole you know i couldn't find uh whatever i needed to do and uh it just got way harder your business model just it didn't adjust for that no yeah you were like new zealand there

were lucy's lucy spots all over the place a free a free lucy with a drink order okay uh we talked about the instagram guy um where kyle suggested to just hack in the phone and like Ethan Hunt, um, somehow, not really, but that's what it came across as. I guess it just was a lot, a lot of stuff. Like, I think you'd have to have that down like a Rubik's cube and just an aside

on the cube itself. Am I led to believe that if you just know the patterns of turning it, you're not really solving it. You're just, you've memorized that you spin it this way and then spin it this way and then spin it this way so none of it even matters yeah it does take some of the prestige away definitely does yeah cool yeah you could hop on youtube and be like all right you know you got a red and top right top left in the middle here's the you know

the 17 point move that you get to get the whole face there and it's like cool all right. Well, that's the whole point is that you try to figure out yourself, right? Not that it's like you're scamming. Now, we'll probably get some emails from big Rubik's cubes saying, you're a loser. You don't know. But that's how it works. We are. We're the losers. So the only reason I bring that up is I know that I should have known it already. And I think I started like, but that's the thing is pre-internet as a kid, you know, little Tommy to get in for Christmas. They'd be like, our kid's a fucking genius.

You're like, no, somebody taught him the move. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. The people that like the people that do like this, you know, they time it and like do it in under a minute. It's all just patterns. Like, you know, they just look at it bang bang bang bang yeah it is cool i mean it's still cool to watch like it's amazing but yeah i mean my brother got one he like worked

at it and then i i won one the next christmas huge mistake i think even my parents were like what are we doing i'm like i think i'm i tried it for like probably like a week and then i'm taking it apart and trying to put the reds with the reds. It was just like, I'm never going to figure this out. I was ripping stickers off and putting them on different spots. I'm never going to figure this out. It's like, you're missing the point, man. I haven't figured it out yet.

Yeah, we did the white elephant for my wife's side of the family, and somebody got a Rubik's Cube, and I was messing around with it. I almost got one full side, but I had no idea what I was doing. I felt like a big idiot. Well, you got to learn the move. I just didn't know if there was like any like, oh, I have to get this over here. It's just, no, no, no. You spin it outside to top to middle. And just once you have it down, it doesn't even matter what you were looking at.

I don't know. I just was a little disappointed. That's all. Okay. All right. So we had a couple of follow-ups on the Instagram lurker account solution. One thought popped into my head was that he could also block her account from his own personal Instagram account.

Then when the moment finally happens, when they exchange Instagram handles, he can play it off like, wow, that's weird. You're blocked for me too. And gaslight his way to normalizing what happened. That's great. I can't believe we didn't think of that. Make her think it's some weird glitch in Instagram that caused it to happen could be terrible advice but it's something i would consider that feels like a more advanced version of just playing dumb but yeah sure oh we also had

this guy chime in recent life advice on the instagram burner hit very close to home i was in the same exact situation as the emailer my now girlfriend found it very weird and sketchy that i would never follow her on instagram yeah i'm you right now, the ladies don't like that one. I played dumb for months. She never bought it, just found it weird and thought I was uninterested and not committed to her. Yeah, that actually sucks. It's like you want to be in the relationship, but she'd already blocked you because you were lurking. I don't know. The emailer has to get her to follow him first. It's the only way.

His personal account will not show up as blocked for her, and following him will unblock his personal account and then free him up to follow her back. All right. That's kind of what I said. Is it? It's similar to what I said. No.

It's kind of what you said. It doesn't involve setting into her phone yeah but like you're i was never suggested going into the settings and i'll just did you say settings no no use i said settings because you said settings i meant could you search yourself on there on her instagram and then just add like oh i'll just do it so this guy's saying though that if she follows you finds your account it won't say that it's blocked because she follows you that seems i account, it won't say that it's blocked because she follows you. That seems I guess he's saying it would unlock something.

I don't know. I don't I'm wondering. I don't delve into this. I know that when you're blocked because somebody reached out and asked me for money and I said no. And then they blocked me. And I was like, OK. And then I was like, the account still comes up. But now there's just no information, like no post, no pictures, no whatever. But I was like, the account still comes up, but now there's just no information,

like no posts, no pictures, no whatever, but I can still see the account. So it doesn't say, Hey, you're blocked. But clearly, clearly I got blocked. Cause I wasn't super into the idea of giving out a personal loan, uh, to somebody I barely talked to. All right. All right. I think they're listening? I don't know. Sounds like they'd do you a favor. If I got into it, you guys would just be like, I can't imagine a worse person to call with this idea. But I'm not going to do that. I mean, you know, like everybody has people they know in their lives.

You're just like, wait, what? I'll just leave it at that. I kind of want to share it because once I like add this other detail, you guys are just going to start dying laughing, but I'm not, I'm not going to do it. All right. Uh, cause what I want to get to is vending machine guy has chimed in. I'm, it was so good. This guy's a really good writer.

Um, it's so good. I debated like reaching out and be like, should we have them on? But the email is so good. We're just going to go ahead and do it. And I don't really want to turn this into maybe having people on all the time from, although West Texas, Jake, you know, we had that guy. I hope he's doing well. Okay. Update vending machine challenge. Hi, Ryan. I have an update on the attempt. The way I'm starting out this email will make it seem like I failed, but hold on tight voice. Suspense.

starting out this email will make it seem like I failed, but hold on tight, boys. Suspense. First off, I'm in peak eating shape. 32 slices of lunch buffet pizza, 36 inch po' boy in 10 minutes, B-dubs blazing challenge in one minute. I'm in the zone like Andre Blatch fool in the red light district. There was absolutely no way I wasn't finishing the vending machine challenge victorious. There was absolutely no way I wasn't finishing the vending machine challenge victorious. No way I would lose. I lost. We set the date for Friday. So Thursday, I drank a ton of water and ate salads and veggies all day.

That was my first mistake. I peed four times that night. I felt good walking in the office. There was a buzz on the trading floor. No work, all business for me. The pot grew to $2,500, including a $500 donation by a salesman who's seen this attempt fail too many times. I love that another guy was like, it never works. Here's another 500 of the pot. I'm just putting five. Yeah. I'm putting this money to the side and then I get to pick it up later in the day. Nine o'clock hit and it was on. I started off with the veggie

chips and baked lays followed by nature Valley bar cheese. It's in salted peanuts. I knew I needed to mix in some sugar. So I treated myself with the rice crispies and peanut butter crackers. I won't bore you with every item, but I started out really strong. I was 50% done by noon light work. Right? Then the roller coaster started. The sugar highs and lows were all caps by far the worst part i really want to stress it's not the amount of food it's your body saying what the fuck is happening right now i started to sweat and shake after eating all that sugar mixed with the salt so much sugar and salt i wanted to vomit after each additional bite i almost quit but my inner inner David Goggins voice in my head was telling me real men don't quit, so I smacked the shit out of him. I'm not a real man.

I quit. I still had nine items left, including four candy bars. I vomited at work and all night. I'm telling you right now, it's impossible. Just seeing the remaining items on the table puts you into shock. People don't understand the sugar impact. It's not that I felt full. It's more my body was breaking down.

However, I would love for a fellow listener to conquer this and submit evidence. If someone can pull this off, I will tip my hat and call them daddy. Well said. It kind of reminds me, because I've been through this situation, not with the vending machine challenge, but I'm a big popcorn guy at movies, right? And I'll get the big-ass, large popcorn, and I'll eat a really unhealthy amount of it to the point where I don't feel well. And I'll even take it home.

Wait, why do you take it home? You're not even full. Why are you going to waste it? Why are you going to waste it? I took it home when I was like eight, and then my dad was what are we doing here man we're not bringing this home so the thing that you will eat so much that you actually don't feel well you're like still gonna bring i'll give it a couple days put in a plastic ziploc bag and a couple days oh how old are you 70 popcorn it's a great snack i love popcorn and you're getting gout we've digressed this isn't even pointed the

point of the story is that i'm not even full, but you can't eat that much salt and butter. Your body is literally just telling you no. So totally understand where this guy's coming from. And the sugar thing must be insane. Well, that was the whole point. He's a big dude. He gives us the resume. This guy can eat.

And my favorite part of this story was people on X asking, Hey, can you post the picture? And it's like, you know what? You're right. Like, let me, let me post the picture of this whole thing. Emailers across the board following up. Cause sometimes look, it just happens. It doesn't end up in the mailbag and Friday feedback, but it, it was, I don't know, 90% of the emailers were like no way that's ridiculous because we listed all the items of course on x 75 of the people were like no problem dude like because that's just it was like the best study of what that what that account what social media is all about where just every guy was like yeah dude why i, why? I can't even believe that. I'd probably go out for chicken parm that night.

No one is factoring in, as our guy talks about, like this massive, massive sugar spike in your body. It's like you're just mashing candy bars and all this candy the entire time on top of all the sugar that's in all the other stuff that's supposedly like decent for you. And then you look at the sugar content. So I love that he shared. I love how honest he was. And I, I think people need to, you know, at least I shouldn't say it to this audience because this audience kind of gets it.

I think the, the thing about it was that it was like a size medium vending machine. Like it wasn't like, it wasn't the XL, like maybe, maybe it's a large, but you know, it's like a large that runs small. You know what I mean? The vending machine. Like it wasn't like, it wasn't the XL, like maybe, maybe it's a large, but you know, it's like a large that runs small. You know what I mean? The vending machine, it wasn't like the biggest one anyone's seen. So I think like, it just, it didn't feel like, it felt like there could have been one or two more rows in there and it still would have been a normal size vending machine. So I think maybe that's what it is for the folks who saw the picture. But I believe- Just to understand again, it's 14 bags of chips, eight candy bars,

four granola bars, three peanut butter cracker packs, two bags of peanuts, two bags of cookies, one pack of gummy bears. What the fuck do you need three different peanut butter crackers in a vending machine for?

That's a sneaky company to eat, too. Standard cracker. Look, I'm telling you right now, I'm looking at the picture going, it's that hard? No, because this isn't you're right kyle like the size of it when you see the picture you're just like oh no you could figure that out yeah because it's not a mini vending machine it's definitely not the biggest one you've seen so you're like oh this is a moderate size vending machine i bet you somebody's gonna go oh you shouldn't have the rice crispy treat so early i'm sure i did think i did think that that's not oh you shouldn't have the rice crispy treat so early I'm sure I

did think I did think that that's not why that wouldn't have been my choice but that's not why he didn't finish it but that did cross my mind uh because I don't know he just went a little little like carb heavy too early but yeah I mean I don't know think about like even now like around Halloween you know if I'm eating candy or if I it's like a movie night or it's like a cheat night thing or whatever you're doing something weird. Like I could only really eat one or two packs of candy. If we're talking like the box ones,

like if I'm getting like a Charleston Chew and a Sour Patch Kid, if I go more than that, I'm going to feel like absolute dick. And then now you're adding all this other salt stuff. Like what I'm trying to think, like what's the food?

What's like the snack food you could eat the most of? Mine's probably smart food because it's just like that's like it's like air cheese you could just eat it and I could eat a whole bag in a night but even that like that's putting you on your ass like in an hour like you're not gonna feel good after that and then this thing this thing you're mixing in a bunch of different sugars and salts or whatever man it's gonna like that's how you get diabetes dude well thanks uh sorry for the breakdown yeah i tried to i know because as you were talking about i was trying to figure out like what is it

like i love the peanut butter filled pretzels but that's not really a thing like i know specifically like how many sleeves of those you need in one sitting well they come in tubs yeah they come in tubs i usually, they come in tubs. I usually fill like a pint glass and then I'll wipe out the pint glass. And those are filling though. Yeah. And you're like, all right. But it's not gross.

You know, it's not gross. I'm trying to think of like the one thing that's a splurge. I would say every few months I will go to Susie's Susie Cakes and get the celebration cake slice. It's this big fucking slice of like birthday cake. And it's incredible. I think it's like seven bucks and there was one near my house and it is, it just tastes so good. And I'll be like, all right, I'll, you know, it's been a couple of months. I'll get a slice of this. And then it's so much fun. The first night I'll eat like a third

of it. It's so much fun. Right. I'll eat like a third of it. It's so much fun. Right. I'll eat like a third of it. I'll never, I've never sat and ate the entire slice at once. And then I'll eat a second like portion of it. I usually chuck the very end. And usually after the second day, cause you can, you can keep it at room temperature for like a couple of days and it's fine. But usually the second serving that I have of it, my's like all right what the fuck's going on here again i'm not like counting stuff and going oh you know i'm gonna can i can you make that pizza with kale crust i'm not that guy but i'll i just know you're right sori like if you'd go really hard on something that your body's not used to because you're doing it and it's like a treat it It's like a reward in a way.

It can actually make it way worse. You know, it's almost like this weird tolerance with food like that. So, all right. Can I give you a little peanut butter pretzel thing just for you because I know you're a beach guy. Great beach snack. You leave them in the sun, warm them up a little bit.

Mark Titus taught me that. Who taught you that? Mark Titus. When we would have our beach days and he would just be like, we'd set up the thing and he'd throw he'd throw the uh the trader joe's they make the or costco i guess probably makes the best one uh he'd just throw it in a spot in the sun and be like we'll let that cook for like 25 minutes and they'll be ready after we get in the water for the first time let it cook

goes great with a couple cores that actually sounds like the most tightest story ever yeah so that that checks out that's a great call i'm a big grapes guy you know what i like to do is i like to take grapes and put them in ziploc bag with a bunch of ice cubes nice on the outside right i just throw i just throw the ice cubes in with the grapes in the ziploc bag you think i had kids with that kind of move look at us swapping beach tips. That's great. So do you have any beach tips other than taking popcorn to go? I don't feel like it's that weird.

I'm getting a large. Like, why am I throwing it out? So, yeah, no, I don't. I'm not going to share any more information to be ridiculed. Do you walk out of the theater with the tub and then have to stabilize it in the car? Not in the car. Well, yeah, it's like it sits by itself. It's not like I have to hold it with one hand on the steering wheel and one hand on my popcorn. stabilize it in the car? Not in the car. Well, yeah. It sits by itself.

It's not like I have to hold it with one hand on the steering wheel and one hand on my popcorn. You just put it on the seat next to you. You drive home, you put it in a Ziploc bag. Because here's the thing. Here's the thing. Stale popcorn is almost as good

as fresh popcorn. Some might even say it's better. Stale popcorn is delicious. No one would say that. Not really stale, but just slightly stale. And especially the movie theater one, if you put the butter on it. it goes great with some cold pizza right i'm fucking with you

you go over to titus's house and he's like here's our freshly made popcorn he goes we're gonna leave this out on a tray we're putting the back deck for two days and then when we come back stuff's gonna be really right just saying don knock it until you try it. It's pretty good. You're probably on to something, but it's just way easier to make fun of. So is that okay? It's also the last thing you can do. We used to be attached to the mall.

So if you're actually going to go check out the mall after your movie, then you're walking around with a tub of popcorn. So you're really kind of hamstringing yourself there. You got to go right to the mall. Yeah, I'm not walking around the mall at this point in my life, unfortunately. Oh, no. It's kind of an in and out thing. Done with the mall. It's kind of an in and out thing. The mall's a bridge too far. Got it. You guys want to stop off American Eagle?

Is Saruti bringing his popcorn? Check out Liz. Alright, this is an incredible, specific one, and I love it. All right. First time writing in, 6'2", 220, 35 years old with some injury history, so don't push for max anymore, but I can still get a solid 10 reps at 225 on the bench. Well done. I have worked at the same office for about 10 years now. There's 50, 60 people who work in

this office, a good mix of men and women. I'm in middle management. And while it's a boring job, pay is great for the amount of effort I put in. And I never take work home with me. The office has a strong social dynamic. Most of the folks who work here have been there for years and everyone kind of knows everyone. I've never been much to mix my work and personal life. So aside from the occasional company outing, I don't generally hang out with the coworkers outside of the office. The crux of my problem, late 2019, pre-COVID, we had a company outing at a local park. A bunch of guys from the office, a few gals, wanted to let loose on the court that they had there. So a bunch of us dressed to play hoops. Now I played high school basketball

and saw some bench minutes on my D3 college hoops team. All right. So that's significant. That means you're going to be good and you're 35 and you're big. So, um, you know, that's a completely different level of like you want to pick up game. I play pickup when I can, a good player comp would be Javon Carter,

a lot of hustle and good D the shot is streaky. Yeah. He's probably, this is, might be the, like the one we've got dudes that didn't even play in junior high being like, I'm kind of like a bonus, but, um, more athletic to bonusonis. More athletic Sabonis. Yeah, better shooter. Yeah, better shooter. Sabonis with more range. Pops. So this guy's going Javon Carter on us. He said, I'm either on fire or

ice cold with very little in between when it comes to shooting. We play four to five games that afternoon. And when I say I was on one that day, I mean that I was on one. Everything dropped, outside shots, fadeaways that had no business going in the net. And top it all off, I was dunking on everyone like Jordan in his prime. If you played hoops in a park, you may have put together by now that this was a nine foot rim. Yet somehow, as everybody at the office periodically recalls this afternoon, nobody remembers the nine-foot rim. They remember me shooting like Curry

and yamming like Drexler, but maybe because no one else playing that day ever hooped competitively, they didn't realize the rim was shorter. So then the pandemic happens, everyone goes virtual, and over the course of those two years working remotely, everyone remembers this legendary performance

as the last office outing pre-COVID. It's become office folklore and it's continued to grow in the two years since we've moved back to the office. Dues in the office defer to me on literally anything basketball related now. I've been asked why I didn't consider playing overseas or trying to transfer to a bigger school. Don't get me wrong. It's awesome, but I'm a fraud. Post-COVID, the company ratcheted back outings and started doing them more regularly again last year. And you guessed it. The next company outing is at a park. And now four years later, everyone wants to hoop.

It's a different park, so I'm worried about this. And I went and checked their 10-foot rims. Dude, he went and reconned it. This has been in his head for so long that he went to check out the rims ahead of time before the company i love this fucking guy so he's calling the town parks and rec department is like hey any chance you guys can install some non-foot hoops too on the other side having a kids party on a wednesday right yeah i was wondering what if he gets there the night before and like hooks up some wrenching system now granted a lot

of parks aren't going to have an adjustable hoop so he's probably screwed so he's asking do i fake sick on the day of the outing do i fake an injury while i will likely still be better than everyone there i don't want my legacy to take a hit or this current deal i've got going to be diminished by a day of sub superstar play i'm aware of how stupid and seemingly inconsequential this sounds but i need advice on what to do here god i love that story so rudy the injury thing yeah i mean like pull can you can you like fake pull a hamstring and you can still play but just kind of like you know take it easy and be like yeah i just can't jump off my right leg so you know it's going to be a little you can still shoot you can still move around but like you're not gonna be like yamming on dudes i think that's probably the way to go it's like a knee brace ankle thing situation and you're like i'm

just gonna be you know i'm just gonna be on the on the perimeter here and you know i'll make some passes like the stuff that you know you can still do now normally i think you know you would go well look i mean he's calling himself a fraud so i don't think it's wrong for us because i watched some video the other day of some league where the rims are eight feet and the guy looked like an out of shape maddie brust and he dunked on it and then he like looked at the camera like it was a fucking overtime video and you're just like dude what are you doing you know like dunks it on an eight foot rim turns to the guy that was like in the restricted area

then finds the camera you're like you should be embarrassed and they all look like they're pretty good probably not gonna be friends with that guy yeah yeah right so i thought of that video when i read the email but this is kind of everybody else's fault, right? Like this isn't like you did something and lied. They didn't understand what was happening and you just did it. And it sounds like you're downplaying it and not like being like, yeah, I'm the man. It's just the funniest thing ever. Like this is really funny how amazing, like think about it. Somebody say, hey, do you think the Timberwolves have enough?

Ask Doug. Ask Jordan over there there you know like so wait so rudy you have some hesitation here you think he's in the wrong i don't think he's in the wrong at all when normally somebody's at fault you're trying to blame the co-workers they don't know like you you didn't correct them and i'm not saying that you had any obligation to correct them but like this is like you know you're you're you're you made the bed now you got to sleep in it. This would be like the equivalent of you using AI to write some incredible book, and then somebody makes you enter a writing contest, and you didn't tell them that you had AI help you write this incredible book. It's your fault. There's information that other people don't know that you're using to your advantage.

fault. There's information that other people don't know that you're using to your advantage. So I'm not saying that you're totally in the wrong for not disclosing the fact that like it was a nine foot hoop, but it's not the other people's fault for not knowing that either. Yeah. You let this become legend. Like you, by the, by the second, by the second or third time, this retelling, you could have been like, all right, take it easy guys. It was, it was nine foot rims or something. It was just, you did have the opportunity to say that which i'm i'm actually not saying you did anything wrong but i'm saying i think you know if you want to keep the legend alive i think you got to do a little got to do a little gamesmanship i don't think it's the same as writing a book with the help of ai right because anyone who actually knew anything about books

you know it's like it's like there was i guess there was no one that knew anything about books. You know, it's like, it's like there was, I guess there was no one that knew anything about basketball there because clearly that was an entire foot less than every other rim. Do you think it's the same as writing a book with the AI, Suri? I know like, you know, it sucks because we're all on the spot and you're trying to think of like

these perfect analogies and sometimes. To everyone who wasn't there, it is like that. To everyone who wasn't there, it's like that. To the new hires or whoever didn't go to the picnic or whatever they're talking about, like to everyone who couldn't see it, like that to the new hires or whoever didn't go to the picnic or whatever they're talking about like to everyone who couldn't see it they're just getting this

false narrative of it it doesn't mean you're not a great writer but but that's stealing great of a writer that's a version of of like not actually doing the work like he he played well and everything went in i mean it's really only the dunking part of it, you know, because the shots are going in on a lower rim. They're going in. The dunking part is the thing that's freaking everybody out. I kind of like this for our guy. I, and normally I would just say, yeah, go back and play again or whatever. I don't think you should play. I think it should just live forever. I mean, it's going to be really hard to avoid it. You're never going never gonna be able to play ever again or if you actually started playing in like a men's league or somebody else from work saw you doing something like hey what the hell i thought this guy i kind

of want this thing to just live forever because the people that don't know and didn't even realize like they there's just this awe there's there's guys like you're gonna win there could be like an office that's available and you're gonna get win. There could be like an office that's available, and you're going to get it because the other guys are going to be like, do you remember him? Do you remember him in that pre-COVID hoops game? Like, let him take the office, man. He's dunking all over everybody that day. So it's not the same.

It's actually kind of impressive you shot on nine-foot rims too and shot that well because that's not easy either. I will give you credit for that. I think shooters kind of dial in the muscle if they're good shooters i i know what you're saying it's not it's not the easiest thing but i think like the best players can kind of figure it out and sort of adjust uh yeah could you do like a humble thing where you just go hey you know we know what happened last time like i want you guys to have a good time i don't want to i don't want to yeah i don't i don't want to take over i don't want to be the center of attention

yeah i'll be the coach exactly like i don't get these subs in everyone to play everyone have fun yeah it's like look but that's like the nicest possible way to be like you're just not at my level right yeah but they like they know that and then i'm not like they wouldn't think you're a dick because it's true. But they want to see it again. You could just say, hey, I'm not going to dunk. I'm not going to dunk today. But there's just no way he's going to.

I mean, it's likely that he's not going to, despite he's probably a really good player. You're four years older, too, right? You could just be like, yeah, getting older. I don't know how old this guy is. I forget. But you're four years older. You'd be like, hey, you know, something's changed. 39 now.

Yeah, that's a good point. Say no dunks and just hang out around the perimeter. I want you guys to have fun. And knee brace it. And knee brace it. I'm not trying to get a triple-double here today. You guys can get some rebounds, too. Yeah, but the problem is, is like certain dudes, you know, as soon as the ball touches your hands,

just you can't help yourself. You just, you cannot help yourself. I'm trying to think of a better analogy or come off of the one with saruti here i'm just not because you're not really doing anything wrong it's that everyone around you has a bad interpretation of what happened because of their lack of experience so yeah i don't know my dad this this problem i was trying to think of this and i wasn't going to say it but now that that you asked for one, I'm going to say it. So like in my K through two school, my primary school, we used to hang out in like the before the bell would ring for us like the parents who dropped the kids off would like hang out. And my dad would set his watch one time to the actual time. So he would just go like, and five, four, three, two, one, and the bell would ring as he like said one and we used to fucking freak out and then i think by the time we're in third grade i got like the magic was gone i was like oh you were just like tricking us like he didn't do anything wrong but just we didn't know any

better we were just like you know we didn't have that that brain tuned into your six yeah yeah you see what i mean so but like he's playing with a bunch of like basketball six-year-olds is what i meant no i get it right i land that yeah no i i like what you're doing yeah no it but that's a little bit more deviant that's still more devious than what this guy did it is i know i as i was gonna say it i i figured that out but yeah i don't have a good example no but i like the example i like the attempt because i started thinking like what if you ran around a track and then somebody timed you it was like you you smoked it and it was like your best mile time ever but the track was shorter and you didn't go around saying hey this was my time everybody else was like i can't believe how fast you smoked that

mile and then deep down you're kind of like but even then i think you'd be less sure because it'd be harder for you to figure out the track or you drink like 35 beers one day you throw up halfway through nobody saw it and then they're like that guy drank fucking 35 beers like actually i only only drank like 18 because he threw up around the corner and nobody saw now i knew we'd get there perfect all right all right uh most beers in a sitting for you ever kyle oh geez i don't know have you ever tried i mean you imagine everybody drinking journey you're younger there's there's some stupid challenge yeah you just hope there's a certain age where you're not counting how many beers you can have in one day races tape 40s to your hands and it's like yeah we did both of that in one day or something but i think you did this you did a case and edward 40 hands in the same day yeah pots damn new york what are you gonna do we were like snowed in um i don't know

one time at frolic room before i like decided to tweak my palate and drink um budweiser from the tap i think uh i was just drinking the ipas because i was like i don't really like i think i had like 15 or 17 like lagunitas and they were all in my bill and that was like it was definitely an off day it was like a weekend or something just in case anyone was wondering but uh i think they were just like when we got the bill they're like holy shit dude you there's 18 lagunitas and i think I got you one or something for free. And I was just like, wow. Let's switch it up. Wow.

I'm going to go outside, pull a dart, come back in, reset. I think that's all we need. Do we have anything else? No. I almost wish I didn't say that. We didn't do the case race. I don't know what my beer number is, but we used to do the Das Boot thing. Did you guys ever see Beer Fest?

Incredibly underrated movie. Love that movie. Yeah, it is good. And so we got really big into doing DOS boots, and we would time each other. Did you order a bunch of boots? Yeah, my buddy studied abroad in Germany, brought back five boots, basically,

so my friends could all just do it and get better at it for a while. I was in the middle somewhere. I don't know how... I'm trying to look up how many beers it was. I want to say it and like get better at it for a while. And yeah, it was, I was in the middle somewhere. I don't know how, I'm trying to look up how many beers it was. I want to say it was like seven or eight and you know, you drink it and try to drink it in the boot. Yeah.

So we were more on that speed than it was drinking just straight beers. Yeah, we did the boot thing too. I felt like I just did that. That reminds me of when I traveled. So I apologize. We did. Do you guys ever do the shot of beer every 60 seconds

for yes an hour yeah yeah oh yeah that sounds that's like the vending machine people they're like oh not a problem that is once you get into it you're going like time has never moved faster and it sounds so simple and so stupid and you're like this isn't that big of a deal and as you're doing it and you're getting deep into it you're just going oh my god like an ounce and a half of beer every 60 seconds yeah yeah yeah oh wow can i get a ruling on something actually now that we're talking about this uh this is gonna this is like a big argument we've had in our friend group since 2010, probably. My buddy claims that on his 21st birthday, he took 21 shots in like an hour, basically,

on his 21st birthday. I don't know about an hour. Which is clearly not... In an hour? Exactly. Which is clearly not real. Like that you cannot... I mean, maybe somebody can,

but I know my buddy couldn't do it. Pre-made woos, maybe? Well, it turns out he's obviously... It's like the lemon drops. Pre-made woos maybe? Well, it turns out it's like the lemon drops. It's like that kind of shot thing too. And he's like, oh, it doesn't matter. It's still 21 shots. And we were just like, no, it's not. There was such little boos in there.

It'd be all sour mix. And then you'd put in like ice so it would melt even more. Look, it's still a lot kind of, but you know, they used to just tell us to, we would just be told to pre-make all that stuff and then just pour it out in these like little plastic souffle cups and just give them away. Cause the owners are like, there's barely anything in there.

And then everybody thinks they're getting free shots. So go for it. All right. This is something he would brag about. A shot is an ounce and a half of liquor. Right. And we're not talking about that. We're talking about probably a smaller little cup of not fully liquor, of a cocktail, right?

I mean, that's what it is. It's like a tiny bit of a cocktail. So, sorry. Those are nine-foot rims, pal. It's been settled. Yep. That's the nine-foot rim of shots. Nice work, Kyle.

Wow. That was great. All right. That's Life Advice. Thanks to Oregon. Thanks to Cerruti. And thank you to Kyle. Back to normal schedule next week, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Wow. That was great. All right. That's life advice. Thanks to Wargon. Thanks to Saruti. And thank you to Kyle. Back to normal schedule next week, Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

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