The Ryen Russillo Podcast - Saying "No" to Hayward, Other NBA Questions With Bobby Marks, and Sean Payton’s Nervous Day With Diana Russini. Plus, NFL Awards.
Episode Date: November 23, 2020Russillo gives out his NFL awards for Week 11 (2:30) before talking with ESPN NBA front office insider Bobby Marks about the Trail Blazers' impressive free agency haul, the fairly new trend of teams b...acking out of offers to players, Gordon Hayward's big contract, Serge Ibaka to the Clippers, Marc Gasol to the Lakers, Aaron Baynes to the Raptors, the Thunder's vault of first-round draft picks, the botched Bucks-Kings trade, and more (21:00). Then Ryen talks with ESPN's Diana Russini about Taysom Hill's first start at QB in the Saints' win over the Falcons, Sean Payton trolling Roddy White, Titans-Ravens, the "logo issue," the Titans' defensive struggles, and more (51:00). Finally, Ryen answers some listener-submitted Life Advice questions (1:15:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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The plan for today, we're going to do a lot of football
and a little basketball and a little life advice as well.
On the football front, Diana Rossini.
Known her a long time.
Excited to have her on.
We've been trying to have her on for a while now, but she's just so busy.
But she's coming back from New Orleans after the Taysom Hill win,
the Taysom Hill decision. She's been
covering the Titans. She has the Titans Colts this
upcoming week as well. So we'll get the
backstory on all the stuff that was going on with Titans
and Baltimore because that was a really good win
by Tennessee against the Ravens.
And we'll do some free agency stuff with Bobby
Marks. Apparently agents complaining
deals are being pulled. Deals that were offered
being pulled off the table. The Detroit. We're not going to do an hour on Detroit and their off season, but it's
just a bunch of different off season stuff. We'll do some Detroit. We'll do some Gordon Hayward,
a bunch of it. A lot of the different, just basically it's not specific to Detroit, but it's
about pricing in the first few hours versus pricing later. you know, Toronto, the Lakers, Serge Ibaka, Marc Gasol's market,
what that meant for Aaron Baines.
So Bobby's going to do a great job because he did this job for a long time.
And then we'll do some life advice.
So let's go.
Weekly awards.
So here we go.
The first one is their real and their spectacular award.
That's for our Indianapolis Colts.
Now, let's face it.
The Colts are maybe a tough buy-in
throughout much of the year.
You're like, oh, wow, that Colts defense.
You know who's good is that Colts defense.
And then people kept saying it.
And then some people would say it,
be like, hey, you know what no one's talking about
is that Colts defense.
And then it kind of became everybody was talking about
that they have a really good defense.
I myself will call myself out
because it's my podcast and it was my take that when I watched that Cleveland Indianapolis game a few
weeks ago, I felt like Rivers was doing the angry throw thing. I think we even brought it up with
Dilfer where he ended up having three picks in that game. It was a bad game. And I'm like, man,
I just don't know. I don't know. And that's not just, I'm not making the mistake of watching one
person throw a pitch and thinking I know their entire career projection, which some people have done.
But that was after watching Rivers a bit and feeling like, I don't know, just something seems a little off.
And he's been better ever since then.
So Colts coming in to this game against Green Bay, the reason I bring all that stuff up is because it's 28-14 Green Bay at the half.
And you're thinking, hey, I thought everybody was talking about this Colts defense.
But it's also not fair to do that where a defense that statistically is up there with everybody else is having a bad game and now
somehow they're frauds and the other nine games don't count because that's not fair to do either,
right? Okay, so the Colts coming in, number one in yards per game allowed, number two in passing
yards allowed per game. The only reason number two is because Washington is number one and they're
trailing against everybody so nobody has to pass anymore. That happens. Don't fall for it. Tricks, bad teams will tell you or people that just aren't good at talking about stuff will go, you know, for all the negatives this year, Washington had a really good pass defense and it is a throwing league. You're like, no, they were losing almost every game and no one had to actually throw against them in the second half. All right. So don't fall for that stuff. So the Colts really probably number one in passing defense.
Number four against the run.
Number four in points per game allowed.
Fourth in DVOA.
All the top five teams now in DVOA and some of the other metrics,
it's those five teams where last year it was statistically New England
and San Francisco just off the charts compared to everybody else.
New England, it had more to do with their schedule.
San Francisco, it had more to do with being awesome on defense.
So there are some numbers for you.
Let's keep going.
Phillip Rivers.
Some of the numbers aren't great.
He's 20th in QBR, middle of the pack and a bunch of other things.
He's seventh in completion percentage.
But you know what?
Completion percentage is just off the charts now.
Anyway, it used to be, hey, you got to be North of 60. Now everybody's 60, 30 out of 33 quarterbacks
that qualify right now for completion percentage on the season. 30 of the 33 have a completion
percentage at 60% or better go back. Um, almost a decade ago, 2011, the season ended with 17
quarterbacks double. So we're almost double the number of quarterbacks completing over 60% of the passes in today's offenses and with the games that are officiated the way that they are
um one number that i did like is i kept looking for rivers numbers that i would like here
because he has been better since that cleveland game he has uh there's a number out there and
kind of like the third down air yards and that that's always the indicator for me, where are you helping your team? Are you just putting up? Cause now 300 yards
doesn't even mean anything anymore. Completion percentage doesn't mean what it used to mean.
What are you doing on third down to the sticks? Are you throwing it short of the sticks all the
time? Are you throwing it past the sticks? Are you trying to make throws? Are you constantly
taking the easy way out so that, you know, your numbers look all right, but you're not
really taking a chance on any winning plays. Like you can't dump it short of the sticks
all of the time. Side note, line to gain is just being used left and right. I don't know who bought
stock in the phrase line to gain by the play-by-play guy talking about getting a first down
short of the line to gain. Oh, and he gets past the line to gain or the line to mark every or the
mark to gain. the line to mark.
Everybody's talking about that now.
I don't know.
It's just me.
I watch a lot of football.
So maybe you didn't notice, and now you'll notice.
So anyway, back to our topic here and the award.
Phillip Rivers, there's this Alex rating, which has to do with air yards.
I'm not going to get into all of it, but it's essentially like, where are you in air yards in the third down marker, past or in front of it?
And Rivers is 11th there, which is better than I thought it would be.
By comparison, Cam Newton's last.
Cam Newton is last.
It's a running offense right now.
It's clear New England doesn't trust Cam.
Cam can't see pressure.
He doesn't see blitzes.
It's going on his entire career and it's
still happening in new england but on third down cam's just not figuring out now everybody at the
top doesn't necessarily mean that they're a great quarterback and everybody at the bottom of this
doesn't mean that they're a bad quarterback mahomes is actually really low in this yard
marker of as far as the third down stuff because if you watch mahomes in this offense they're
throwing so many things sideways now,
and they're doing so many different things
that are completely ridiculous.
Like Mahomes doesn't count.
Mahomes being lower in this category
means nothing to me.
So all right, so Rivers is kind of middle of the pack,
but that's the whole point because it's this defense,
because this defense has been arguably
in some stats the best.
I don't know that it's the best,
but it's certainly in that group of top five.
And then it's 28-14 at the half.
90% win probability, by the way, for the Green Bay Packers.
Has that ever happened?
Has anyone had a win probability that high and then lost the football game?
It wasn't just that the defense found a way to get off the field.
It was also that Rivers and a combination of this offense
was able to put together enough long drives
where Green Bay never even had the football.
So this is a very complete win,
even though you're going to look at the final score
and think, wow, they gave up 30 points in this,
so how impressed should I really be?
You should be really impressed
because this tells me that the Colts are a real factor,
not to the level of Kansas City.
It doesn't feel like anybody's going to be
to the level of Kansas City.
We're just not accepting it.
Kansas City, by the way,
terrific win in their game against Las Vegas
where Derek Carr was so good for so long in that game.
I don't give him any criticism whatsoever at the end.
I got to check into this because I don't track spotting of quarterbacks throughout an entire
game, but I feel like the Raiders get Mahomes off his spot as much as anybody in the two
games that I've watched.
Now, Mahomes also likes to move around and the way he can spin away from pressure, just
a full 360 spin and then get into a throwing motion is absurd. We've never seen it before. He likes to move around, and the way he can spin away from pressure, just a full 360 spin and then get into a throwing motion is absurd.
We've never seen it before.
He likes to move around.
They do a bunch of different things with him anyway.
But I'd have to imagine he is off of his spot as far as planning and throwing
as much against Vegas in those two teams as it feels like I've seen him
against anybody else.
And sometimes I think he just does it by design.
Although Mitchell Schwartz, their terrific offensive lineman, who's a guest on this podcast, not with him. So shout out to him. So that's just
the theory. I'm not even sure if it's right on that deal. Kansas City, as I'm shifting to Kansas
City, we know defensively they're middle of the pack. Special teams have been bad. So the offense
is good enough and they're nine and one. And it's kind of like, all right, we're probably just going
to expect them to win. So maybe that takes away from a team like the Colts.
But as of right now, I think you have to look at the Colts as a real team,
even with that four seed, which is a little bit lower than you think,
and the fact that that last drive for Rodgers to tie it up was incredible.
Vintage Rodgers spreading it out, throwing it all over the place,
reading the defense perfectly, and then they get the fumble.
So this game could have gone a couple different ways,
but it's 7-3 in a comeback win like that
against a talented team like Green Bay.
I'm not picking them to win the Super Bowl,
but I'm just telling you it feels like you have to take them more seriously.
The Jeff Green Award.
I have one for the NFL.
My NFL Jeff Green, that goes to Corey Davis, Titans wide receiver,
now in his fourth year.
You may remember Corey, Western Michigan, number five overall pick in 2017.
Row the boat.
Row the boat.
Be elite.
How are you doing?
I'm elite today.
How are you?
I don't know.
My name's Steve.
I'm just checking in on you.
Oh, well, my name's PJ and I'm elite.
Oh, is that what we're doing?
I'm good.
I've got some errands to run in the afternoon, but what do you do for fun?
Corey Davis had his 50-year option decline.
He is on the season.
I think he's on track for his best season with Tennessee.
39 catches, 550 yards, three touchdowns,
but he's never gone over 900 yards.
He had 891 in his second season, 65.
He was awesome in college, and it just hasn't really happened for him
as a professional receiver.
And as I mentioned, they declined it.
I still hold out hope, which means I'm probably wrong.
And I know recently Corey Davis is going through a lot of stuff personally,
losing his brother.
But if we look at the full four-year evaluation of Corey Davis,
I never give up on him.
I see moments where I thought he was terrific. He had a nice second half against Baltimore.
A.J. Brown, though, is the stud receiver in his game-winning touchdown. And this one against
Baltimore was incredible. So there you go. That's my NFL Jeff Green, Corey Davis.
The Joey Galloway Award goes to Joey Galloway. What is that? It's for anyone that decides to call out a team
and then be weird about it when the team calls you out.
I know Joey a little bit, worked with him,
wasn't super close.
You have a lot of the athletes that ended up at ESPN
that are somehow above ever having to do
any of the radio stuff.
I think sometimes agents put it in there.
We couldn't get Randy Moss to save our lives,
and he was on Florida State with Danny Cannell. We were just like, how come he can't come by for like eight minutes
and just do something with us? And we're like, nah, you're not going to get him. And I think
the agents are smart. I would, if I represented former athletes to become broadcasters, the first
thing I would do if he signed with ESPN is like, okay, now what I don't want him having to do
is answer 30 different radio shows calls to see if he has a time for an eight minute phoner to talk about whether or not Tom or Bill's legacy has been tarnished at all.
And by the way, we'll get to Tom Bill rankings.
Don't you worry about that.
So Galloway, when they were talking about Northwestern's potential playoff team before Northwestern's nice win against Wisconsin, Wisconsin sucked in that game,
and it has to do with Northwestern's defense.
And they also have Ramsey, the transfer from Indiana,
who's a good quarterback.
He just is a good quarterback.
Northwestern undefeated,
and you have to start factoring them in.
But I don't know.
I mean, the spread would probably be double digits
against Ohio State.
It would definitely be more than 10 points
against Ohio State.
So Galloway, let's not forget, too. He's a Buckeye. He went to high school. He's from Ohio. Okay. He's as Ohio
as it gets. And so when Reese Davis asks him about Northwestern potentially being a playoff team,
he goes, yeah, there's a bunch of Reese Davis's out there, which look, we all like Reese a lot.
It's not a compliment if you're a college athlete. I've been watching Northwestern play,
and honestly, I mean,
they got a bunch of Reese Davises
out there running around.
It's not the prettiest thing in the world,
and it's not...
Yeah, yeah, very athletic, Reese.
That's why I said that.
And so Northwestern lost their shit about this,
and we saw the video of it all week long.
Reese Davis, Reese Davis.
I'm Reese Davis 1. I'm Reese davis two they win this game against wisconsin and you know afterwards fitzgerald
is like oh the fighting reese davis is and the guys are all yelling so they built it up huge
they're selling shirts the whole deal so then matt berry doing the raps and i like matt known him a
long time like okay joey go okay, Joey, go ahead.
And Joey decides to go a completely different angle on this.
Here he is.
Yeah, let me say this.
Reece Davis is a pretty good athlete.
I think so.
That was a compliment to Reece Davis.
Exactly.
And he's a smart guy.
What do you got to say?
I got to say, congratulations, coach.
What else?
What did you say?
I said that they have a bunch of Ree Reese Davises who is very intelligent and athletic.
And stop the run and play good defense.
And create takeaways.
How about that?
That's what Reese Davis does.
Tough guy on Tuesday gets called out on Saturday, and now you're walking off it.
All right, that's just so weird.
you're walking off it all right that's just so weird and i'll trust me there's there's no education like the education of being around um former pro athletes that especially the guys at one point
were nasty okay and at one point joey galloway was like one of the scariest receivers in the nfl
and i believe he was still telling levitard he could run like a 4-3 and galloway's older than i
am all right i like some of my. I don't think there's any way
Galloway's running a 4-3
and they wanted to have him.
They wanted to fly him down.
I believe Levitard did fly him down
to then run
and they were going to bet him
and he was like, yeah, done.
No problem.
And then I think somebody else stepped in
and was like,
no, we're not going to let you have it.
And I was on team Levitard for that one.
He's like, look,
if you're going to sit there
and start saying you're running a 4-3,
then you're going to show up
and run a 4-3.
And by the way,
how would Galloway have kept track of any of this
shit? Although I kind of love the idea of that. Like, are you so weird as an athlete that you're
still timing yourself going, yep, 4-3, still got it. Let's go golf. But Galloway needed,
like, you can't sit there and tell me that Reese Davis is smart and also pretty athletic and that
it was a compliment and deliver it with a straight face. Like, what are you doing? And again, there's so many of these dudes,
especially the receivers where they're just different. And sometimes it's cool. And sometimes
you're like, what? Like sometimes people would have a problem. I never had a problem with Chris
Carter ever. I'll never forget. Like one one time Chris Carter was talking about, this is
stupid, but he was talking about competing in sports with Greeny and Greeny was like, I'll beat
you in tennis. And Chris Carter was like, no. I remember talking basketball once with Chris Carter
and he looked at me like, how dare I even think I would be allowed to dribble on a court that he was
on? And I was like, what are you talking about? you don't think I could play in a pickup game with you?
Like, I'm not telling you, you can't guard me.
And Greeny brought up tennis and Carter was losing his mind about it.
So there are times when you're the alpha, the all-time alpha, and you have these amazing athletic resumes that even when you're called out in pretty spectacular fashion like Galloway was, he couldn't just be like, yeah, whatever.
Galloway was, he couldn't just be like, yeah, whatever.
And by the way, I don't think anybody goes and looks at Northwestern over the years. It's like just athletes, freaks running around all over the place.
So yes, he was making a point and he was insulting the team, but he's also doing it
because he's an Ohio state guy.
We're talking about Northwestern is another big 10 team, another big 10 team.
They're sure he has zero respect for because Northwestern hasn't exactly had the history
that you would want there.
So there's all these different factors, but I was just kind of surprised after that.
Like, you just got to be like, not weird about it.
Go, yeah, whatever.
They beat Wisconsin.
Five turnovers.
They just start making excuses for the outcome.
Instead of trying to get us to believe that you thought that saying that a bunch of college kids are Reese Davis's is somehow a compliment because Reese is more athletic than we think.
I've worked out with Reese.
You know, he's keeping it together.
And finally, I can't believe you guys still like this.
The Bill Tom rankings.
Kyle, do you remember what they were last week?
I think we zagged on them.
Yeah, we put Bill ahead last week.
Yeah, we put Bill ahead because he controlled the weather.
He beat a playoff team in the Ravens.
Former playoff team. the Ravens. Former
playoff team.
Did you know that? Nice.
No, I'm just saying.
Did you know that as of
right now, the Ravens are out of the playoffs?
Yeah, that's why I said nice. I like that.
Okay. All right.
All right.
We gave it to Bill
even though Tom looked
terrific against the Panthers.
Here's what I know.
I'm home on a Sunday.
Bill's working.
Tom's not.
Can't be argued.
I know the schedule says that Tom just hasn't played his game yet, which is Monday night.
But, you know,
a lot of people were working on Sunday.
Tom wasn't.
Facts.
Bro.
Bill one, Tom two.
Before we get to Bobby Marks on NBA Free Agency,
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Okay, Bobby Marks, former front office executive, now great on the coverage of the NBA with ESPN.
So you know how all this stuff works.
Give me your at least initial reaction these last few days, some of the NBA with ESPN. So you know how all this stuff works. Give me your, at least, initial reaction these last few days,
some of the deals being announced,
but just kind of your biggest takeaway
from what we've seen over the last few days.
Portland.
I think, jump off the bat, what Portland's been able to do,
Ryan, with all their moves.
As I said yesterday in SportsCenter,
the $40 million club of Cantor,
Rodney Hood, Derek Jones, Carmelo,
Harry Giles, that group basically built up that depth.
I even went on a limb and said they're probably the second best team in the
Western Conference on paper, right? Paper doesn't get you anything.
Neither does an off-season trophy.
But I really liked what Neil O'Shea was able to do with the Trailblazers.
The second thing is that we're almost like,
we're what, three or four days in the free agency and it feels like we're in the mid-50s in the
second round of the NBA draft, right? It's almost over. There are guys scrambling for jobs. I mean,
I said last night, 90% of the roster spots are filled and we're a week away from camp.
And then the third thing, if we're going for a third thing, I think it's how many agents
probably misplayed the market a little bit where they were presented an offer and wanted
to shop it a little bit.
And by the time that when they came back to take that offer, it wasn't there anymore.
I mean, that's probably number three that I've figured out or learned about in the last
three or four days here.
So how does that work then, the pulling of the deals?
Take us through how that would work.
Well, there's one or two ways you could do it.
You can actually offer a player a contract and then ghost them.
Don't pick up the phone the next day.
And I'll tell you, Ryan, I've heard from four or five different agents that has happened
where basically the team has presented
an offer and then um you know when you're trying to get in touch with them the next day nobody's
answering the phone at all and they basically have moved on to that next player here now that agent
is uh is scrambling for another deal the other thing that could you know that we've heard hey
we like your guy he's one of two guys if we don't get hey, we like your guy. He's one of two guys. If we don't get this player, we like him.
But what happens is when they don't get him,
they move on to that third option, that third or fourth option here.
So you've got a lot of agents right now scrambling to find jobs for these guys.
It's felt like some of the deals where we heard the terms that were announced,
say three years, here's the money and all these different pieces,
and then it's like, okay, but now we have to do all these other things because we only had like four teams with significant cap space. And so I get that. Yes, it can also be the
team that loses the free agent says, okay, well now let's work on a sign and trade. Now that you've
decided to leave us like Jeremy Grant went from 60 million to, okay, here's a bit of a sign of
trade. There's people still holding out hope in Boston that they're going to get some piece back
for Charlotte.
So has there been more of that?
As you mentioned, most of the roster spots are taken, but it's because of this condensed
off season.
So it just makes sense.
But are you seeing maybe more of let's get the player, let's agree in principle, and
now let's get to work on all the other stuff?
Because there's been a few deals that it's felt like more of the news has happened days after the actual terms were announced.
Yeah, I mean, the Lakers are a good example, right?
As far as what they had to go through with Marc Gasol just to get him when trading out JaVale McGee and structuring to get the Gasol contract on a two-year deal because they needed the money.
And then they take back Alphonso McKinney and Jordan Bell and they guarantee McKinney's full and Bell's at 580. So it's like, yeah, we're going to get your guy.
But now we've got to figure out how the money works. A great example is that big trade
with Drew Holiday. Drew Holiday goes to Milwaukee. Stephen Adams goes from OKC to New Orleans. And then all of a sudden,
wait a minute, we're short, right? We're short $3 to $4 million here. How do we make the money work?
And then you saw Kenrick Williams, Zylan Cheatham, Josh Gray, guys who probably were not going to get
jobs, all of a sudden get their first year guaranteed. Kenrick Williams got $2 million guaranteed to be thrown into this deal.
Zion Cheatham got $1.5 million.
Josh Gray got $1.5 million just to make the money work,
and they'll probably wind up getting cut in Oklahoma City.
Yeah, that's good work.
That's the old, what was it, Keith Van Horn, who just kept getting deals?
Well, and they changed the rule.
Because of him, right?
Well, here's the great story.
We're going back to Nets days.
We did the Keith Van days. We, we did
the Keith Van Horn. Um, now that was you, that was your front office, right? So you needed
for people that don't remember. Yeah. You needed to do the Devin Harris deal. So you were trying
to find money to add in. So go ahead, take it away. But Keith Van Horn hadn't been with us for
like four years. I think, um, we had them and we still had his rights. We were short like $5
million. We were doing, we were trading Kidd for Devin Harris, right?
Right around the trade deadline, I think of 08.
So we said, all right.
We called David Falk.
And we said, we need Keith to be part of it.
And David Falk, he's like, well, I don't know if he wants to do it.
I'm like, David, it's $5 million.
So Van Horn agrees to do it. He came to the practice facility,
Ryan, and basically sat in the media room and read a book for two weeks. And then the league,
the league called and they said, we know what you're doing. So we had to make him go on the
treadmill once a day and someone from the league would come over and watch him do it.
So they changed the rule. I think in the 2011 CBA,
they changed the rule where you basically had to finish the season with that team.
And then if you weren't, if you like the following year, you basically lose the rights to trade them.
And that's how Keith Bogans made $5 million. Keith Bogans was part of that, that Pierce Garnett
trade because we were short $5 million and Bogogan's got a $5 million payout and
to go to the Celtics. So those guys who finished the season, you never know when you're going to
get an extra $2, $3 million. That's great. So they changed the rules. So when the NBA guy would come
by to watch Van Horn on the treadmill, were you guys all laughing? Was Van Horn laughing about it?
Well, yeah, but it felt like Keith was a little inconvenienced.
But I kept saying, Keith, you're going to go home in about two weeks.
We're going to wind up cutting you.
So was Van Horn getting pissed?
Yeah, because I think he was almost like semi-retired.
But he flew in.
He was in Colorado and we flew him in.
And as I said, he basically would just sit in the media room and read a book for like four hours.
And that was the practice time.
And then he would go on a treadmill and
work out and then he'd go from there. But Ryan, one more thing. And you brought up on your last
podcast, I was listening about those trade exceptions. Boston, there's a chance that
this could be a sign in trade for Hayward, right? So they would create the biggest trade exception
in NBA history at $28.8 million, bigger than Mike Conley. 75% of those have never gone used, right?
There's been 790 trade exceptions in 75.
Hey, it's good to have,
but I think we do make a little bit too much
about these things.
We make way too much about it.
If you want to know why, it reminds me of like,
there was a GM, I'm not going to name him
because he's still a GM,
but we started talking one day
and he started selling me on this player that he had overseas. And the player, by the way, never ended up playing in the
league. And he just kept pumping. And I realized what he was doing is he was trying to pump him up
to me so that he would hope that I would be like, hey, you know who's playing really, really well.
And there's just always examples of that. It's just going to happen. I'm sure Billy and you
guys would do it to media members when you were trying to get some information out there, try to get an angle, trying to build
urgency. We're seeing it now where teams that are striking out on free agents, then they'll go to
the local media member and say, oh, we were the second pick, which is like the biggest loserdom
stuff ever. But then the guy writes it because the GM just called you to tell you. So you're
going to write it and it's going to get- we're close hey we're close with lebron in 2010 we finished fifth top five 30 teams you know that i got us 23 wins that year
but trade exceptions are like this they don't exist for transactions even as we went through
it and and you sent me your whole spreadsheet and i was going through all of them i go okay
75 not being used i thought it was like% not being used. I thought it was like
90% not being used. And then when you look at the way it's used, the names are like, oh, that
transaction. Like I didn't even know if people remember this guy's even in the league. So I'd
say 5% are like transactions that are actually significant. But what will happen is if Boston
does a trade exception, if they get it back on the Gordon Hayward thing, then they're going to
talk about it in the Boston media and Boston fans are going to talk about it as if somebody's just going
to gift wrap you a $30 million max player that you actually want on your team.
So can you tell us, give us the layman's version of fully understanding what the trade mechanism
is?
Why does a trade exception exist?
And how does it work?
And how does the math work?
And obviously there's expirations on all that stuff.
Yeah.
I mean, you have a year to use it from the time you do the trade.
So I'll walk you through.
So last year, Memphis traded Mike Conley to the Jazz
and they created a trade exception of $25 million
because of the salary difference.
It's basically a salary difference.
That's because that salary is not coming back.
It's not like 30 million out for Conley, 30 million back.
So I just want to make sure people understand.
So they created that exception. So when Golden State needed to trade Andre Iguodala because
D'Angelo Russell was coming in in a sign-in trade, they found the Grizzlies to slide that
$17 million Iguodala contract. And then all of a sudden, now we made a lot to do about Golden
State, $17 million trade exception. What are they going to do? So they created that. They had a year
to use. It got pushed back to November. And now you see basically Kelly Oubre being traded into
that money, right? Now, all of a sudden, Oklahoma City creates a trade exception, right? It's like
the never ending thing of passing it along. The only way you lose the trade exception is if it expires or you go under the salary cap,
right? And then that kind of just goes away. Would you have done the Gordon Hayward deal
if you were running Charlotte? No, I wouldn't. And I wouldn't do it because we pay for players
based on what the past is and not what the future is going to be.
I'm scared to death about years three and four on that.
I mean, that is a big number.
I mean, four for 20, and it's 28, I think 30.
I think it's going up there.
I get it.
I know where Charlotte is.
They've never been able to attract big free agents here, but I would not have done that.
I think Gordon's a good player, but I'm scared about
certainly the injury history of the last couple of years. But that's a big number for me.
And then you go out and stretch Batum, right? I hate the stretch provision. I mean, I get it.
Sometimes you need to use it to move it. But when you got $9 million sitting on your books for the
next three years and you can never move that off um i i'm not a
big fan of that yeah i've seen it i feel like and i know you keep track all this stuff i feel like
the stretch when it first was introduced it was like okay you know let's get rid of some of these
guys and it was nasty and then the books got better although the books are kind of going the
other way now there's a lot of books now you're starting to look going up this is kind of getting
back because i remember when we were younger it just felt like every team had some
horrible number on their books oh josh smith just came off in detroit darren just came off in
brooklyn yeah but then there was there was times where it would be like a six million guy was
stretched to create room for a mid-level and then it's like okay two million is nothing you know
it's an extra guy and
we can just give a minimum roster spot i don't remember a 30 million dollar stretch anytime
recently and so that means gordon's deal is not four years 120 million it's four years 147 million
and i've if you had me on a show i could say look you don't get anybody there all these east teams that are bad then we've heard this too
like atlanta is going to be more aggressive so they can be the eighth playoff spot you know
chicago still thinks they have a chance i don't know what detroit's doing um and i'll leave go
ahead feel free to jump in later on what the hell detroit is doing um you know the knicks i think
actually were patient for the right reasons this time around after not missing out on people like
i think that tells me the knicks you know aren't going to do some Knicks-type things with their approach to this.
And people can make the joke about not getting anyone in free agency.
But if you're Charlotte and you're stale, I have sympathy for you as a stale franchise.
But if you not being stale is drafting Mello for star quality, and maybe Mello works out.
All right?
Maybe he does.
But when I read the combination of headlines regarding the Hornets,
it's star power potentially with Mello.
Okay, whatever.
And then, you know, needed to attract somebody.
If the bill for you not being stale is $147 million for an injured player
that just hasn't been the same in four years, then that's a bad decision.
Like if you just frame it that way, no one should ever be doing that kind of transaction. So I agree with
you. Yeah. You know what it is too, what you get to? Rebuilding sucks, man. What happens sometimes,
Ryan, is you get to year three and it's like, you just want to wave the white flag, right?
and it's like you just want to wave the white flag, right?
Like, what can we do?
Like, something quick.
We've already built, you know, we've drafted Bridges and Marchington.
We got Graham in the second round, which is a great pick.
You know, Terry Rozier last year,
and now we're still in that 30 to 32 win team.
And, like, can we get to 40?
You know, can you get to, you know, can we get to, can we get an eight seed, a seven seed, and maybe just build off that? It's hard. It's hard
to be Denver. It's hard to be some of these teams that just draft well, and you hit on Jokic,
you hit on Murray at pick seven or eight. Speaking of Denver, that brings me to the Jeremy Grant thing. I understand
much like every one of these transactions, I go, hey, Jeremy Grant, look at the guys he's
defending. He's improved his three-point shooting. He's this, he's that. When it came in at three
years, 60 million for Detroit, I was pretty surprised. And my argument would be the shooting's
not all that. i think he has moments
where he completely disappears even as a huge guy i'll have some bad rebounding games and
i honestly i don't understand detroit's roster in general are there times where you know well i think
you already know the answer to this i'm sure there are plenty of times where you in the past
in front obviously i can't believe we're signing this guy for this number but this is the way it works but what was your reaction to grant at 60 well you mean um what's what's the kid's
name who was in charlotte and played at lsu um we signed him to who'd be in the past there was a kid
um who charl who's on charlotte's roster we had signed signed him to a four-year, $32 million contract.
Not Brandon Bass.
No.
Not Tyrus Thomas.
Tyrus Thomas.
Oh, was he?
You guys gave him four for 32.
We gave him four for 32.
We went out to lunch after we made the offer,
and I was in the backseat of the car with Rod Thorne.
I'm like, oh, my God.
We just offered this guy four for 32. I hope Brian Elfis calls me back when we get back
and says Michael matched it. And we get back and goes, yeah, Michael's going to give him four for 32. I got, I hope Brian Elfis calls me back when we get back and
says, Michael matched it. And we get back and goes, yeah, Michael's going to give him four for 35.
So we're, and I was like, thank you, Lord. Yeah. That was the year when we had all that cap space.
And here's a lesson with cap space. And it didn't, and I know I said this Friday night and I think I
didn't make the people in Detroit very happy when I did it. You don't have to use it all in two hours. There's no time limit here, right? You don't
have to do Jeremy Grant and Mason Plumlee and some other players here, the reclamation projects
with Okafor and Josh Jackson and you waved and stretched Dwayne Dedman and Rodney Magruder,
all these moves here.
Like you, there is a, there's going to be a team that's going to want to dump a contract here. And I look at the grant signing, like, where's he going? Is he, I guess he's going to play the
three, right? You still got Blake, you know, what do you like, where, what are we doing here? And
it's funny and I don't want to kill Detroit, but I, you know, I'm updating all my stuff every day.
And like yesterday morning, I'm like, oh my God, this roster is worse than it was three hours ago when I left here.
And they hadn't even made any other moves.
So I get it.
You're trying to recreate the wheel here a little bit.
But sometimes you kind of overthink during the process.
I'm still excited about Tyrus Thomas.
Oh, thank God.
Because I think he was out of the league about two years later.
Yeah.
So were you sitting there being like, hey, Rod, he's not good.
We've seen it at Chicago.
I held out hope.
And GM absolutely hypnotized me at Portsmouth when we were talking about Tyrus.
Because it's like, look, you can bring up the ball, size, length.
His athleticism is off the charts.
I'm like, yeah, but it was kind of like a weird late LSU run for he and Big Baby.
That was that team.
And it was a fun team, but now he's
going to be able to do all these different things. And he didn't do any of them in Chicago. And then
you still like, I guess that's, I just, I could just tell, I can tell, like, I don't know if
that's what Detroit did, but 60 million for Jeremy grants too much money in this market.
They're just different. Even though the wings and all this kind of stuff, like there has to be a
point where you go, okay. Yeah. I like them, But this is also, by the way, his fourth team, which usually is a bit of a sign that you go, wait, why is he on a bunch of different teams here? And granted, his start was not very good with Philly. He wasn't even close to what he is now, but I'm not quite sure he is what Detroit thinks he is.
what Detroit thinks he is.
You know what Jeremy reminds me of is one of those college players during the NCAA tournament that you're watching.
You haven't watched college all year, and then all of a sudden,
he pops up like, holy cow, this guy's great.
Like, who was it? Malachi Richardson, the kid from Syracuse, right?
He had a great tournament, and then all of a sudden, he goes, like, pick 16.
Like that, I mean, and Jeremy played great in the bubble,
and he had a nice year and and um but he
fit that team like he was perfect for for denver and now he's going to be on you know on center
stage and like you know from what i know denver basically offered him the same amount but he
wanted a different role with uh with detroit no kidding yeah i would i would i mean to go back
to denver and be a top three team and you still get that $20 million, but because you were promised a different role in Detroit, man, good luck.
I almost texted somebody in Denver and said, Jesus, but I'm so glad I didn't send that
text now.
Because then that person would have had to have been like, yeah, that's crazy.
Crazy number.
And they would have been like-
Hey, but they create a trade exception out of it.
That's great. They create a trade exception out of it that's great they got it they got a trade exception so that actually leads me to my my most up and down
player perhaps of the modern era that's Serge Ibaka Serge at the beginning I'm thinking oh my
gosh this guy's incredible and then he became a two guard on offense and I went eh I don't really
like it that much um even, even though I guess,
you know, Presti, the arguments he kept, he kept a Bach over Harden and that was probably a mistake.
Then a bucket goes, it gets paid and he's completely off the radar for a while.
I thought what he did in Toronto in the 2019 finals was incredible. I thought there were a
lot of guys that weren't comfortable out there to be expected in a big spot like that. Serge was comfortable. So I've gone from like, oh, this
is exciting to this guy's so overrated to completely off the radar to, hey, he's pretty
good. So when he's getting a deal, it's weird out here in LA, Clippers fans are upset maybe
because Macho's won sixth man of the year. They're like, oh, I'd rather had that. Now he's on the
Lakers, so that adds to it. I'd rather have a Baca for two years and at that number. I don't
even think it's debatable and it feels like more people think I'm wrong. No, and I think with
Montrez, I think for the Clippers, they basically kind of drew a line in the sand where the number
was going to be. And if he walked, he walked and it didn't make a big deal for them if he went to
the Lakers or if he went to another team, They were not paying him $14 million a year.
If Woody had come back at the $9 million number, I don't know that.
But they made, as I said yesterday, they made a great save with Ibaka.
Because if they didn't get him, we were looking at Justin Patton, Patrick Patterson, Joaquin Noah,
Patrick Patterson,
Joaquin Noah,
Cabangeli, the kid they drafted a year ago as their bigs, and there wasn't that
many $9.2 million
free agents out there.
That saved
their offseason because he was great
in Toronto, especially in the playoffs
this year.
You can play him at center, you can play him at the four,
you can have him come off the bench.
He's already accepted that role there.
Yeah, honestly, if he's on the court and it's no Marc Gasol,
I think Toronto beats Boston.
But again, that's also saying that you're going to have to play Ibaka
that many more minutes, so maybe the minutes,
it doesn't match the production, all that kind of stuff.
But Toronto's two completely different teams against Boston
when Ibaka was out there versus Gasol.
And then I felt like Toronto,
there was a moment where you're thinking,
okay, you've lost Ibaka and you've lost Gasol.
What are you going to do? What did you think about the Baines part of it?
Well, Baines
got lucky.
Because if Marc Gasol would have
been back to Toronto,
Aaron Baines would have been looking at the minimum.
That's where his market was.
So he basically played the domino game where Gasol going to the Lakers opened up that mid-level for
him in Toronto. And yeah, I mean, that's another guy whose market, in the beginning, he thought he
was more than probably $4 to $5 million and got lucky at the end of the day with a $7 million deal
because he was looking at the minimum from Golden State.
He was looking at the minimum from the Lakers.
But Gasol triggered it.
And yeah, he had a good year when Aiton was suspended.
He got nicked up a little bit.
They're thin at the bigs in Toronto.
He was probably the best available that was left there so it was a good
you know i think i'd rather have baines and with the lakers than i would have mark marcus all
and no and that's no offense to marcus so i just thought no you're right mark mark is just not
yeah i thought i don't know i thought he was i thought he was cooked man i thought he was cooked
in the playoffs here so we'll see but um but i'd rather have baines there but um but i liked
it for toronto just based on you know how many you know there were so many guys off the board
there wasn't that many left i mean it was either baines or hassan whiteside or alex len you know
guys like that no it's a good point it's a good point all right so if you listen when i was doing
some of the stuff off the trade exception i also pointed out the draft pick part of it. I think you'll actually like this question.
Are we becoming really too enamored with Sam Presti
and his collection of picks here?
Yeah, I think this is right up your alley.
Now you're like, finally, somebody gets it.
That's why we did that deal.
Well, it's a fun story for us, right?
I mean, what is it, at 17 right now?
I mean, I think i think the
picks from the clippers and the rockets are could be potentially really good i i think they can but
who knows right we don't know yeah i mean whoever it is is going to be some 13 year old that's
playing bad like you know shooting hoops in his driveway right now like that's when those picks
are going to come fruition so So like the trade exception,
they are great assets to have,
but there's so much of the unknown
what they will eventually turn into.
I love second round picks.
I love hoarding second round picks
because I think they have
more value in trades.
Yeah, I mean,
the Clipper pick has a lot of value,
but like Brooklyn,
I'll give you an example real quick.
Brooklyn made a trade
for Damari Carroll like three years ago to take his money
back. And I got a future two from the Raptors. Well, they turned that two into like Bruce Brown,
right? Like a guy that maybe could help him. And I think that's where teams are trying to hoard,
you know, second round picks for deals down the road here. But yeah, I mean, we don't know what's
going to happen in Oklahoma city and what Sam can turn 16 first-round picks into.
Maybe it's James Harden, Kevin Durant, Serge Ibaka, and Russell Westbrook again.
But we just don't know that.
The problem is when you have multiple years with multiple firsts
and you just think, oh, I'll be able to trade them.
But I think there are times where teams are like,
don't anybody trade
with them let them let them be stuck with it do you is there a gm collusion against other gms
well i don't know about uh well i would say the um this sounds like a yes how do i say this i
would say and i think i i think rob plinkett does a great job in LA. I really do.
This sounds like it's going to be followed by something else.
I think there are certain general managers out there that hold things against Rob from when he was in the agent business.
And will not forgive him from it and have held that over his head as far as are stubborn to make deals.
And I think it's childish.
I think it's foolish here and stuff like that.
But I do think there are some GMs who have that opinion.
I mean, here's a good example.
Rob Poenka finished, what, like eighth in the executive of the year voting?
I think he got one first place vote or something like that.
I mean, there's the sign right there now you're right i mean rob did ended up doing a much better job
as opposed to after the davis trade remember like people people that are kind of on that la beat too
were down on him which you know it's bad i'm like wait he was like a piñata man yeah he doesn't know
step on step on up swing swing away speaking of knowing, what happened with the Bogdanovich thing?
Well, I mean, I think at the end of the day,
Milwaukee hard-capped themselves, right?
Did the Drew deal?
Well, they were going to hard-cap themselves in the Bogdanovich trade
because it was a sign-in trade.
You know, that hard-caps you.
And taking Drew back at his $26 million number,
and then you got to add
another four because drew had unlikely bonuses basically put milwaukee in a corner where they're
at 14 million so i think his agent had an idea that you know like if there was a framework from
a player standpoint where milwaukee where he can go and present this to bogdan like hey this is
kind of what they have to offer.
If it was on the first day of free agency or whenever it was,
he probably thinks, hey, I can make more than that.
I can get more than that in the open market.
And he gets four for 72, 18 flat from Atlanta on an offer sheet,
trade kicker, player option, you name it.
So I think that's a big reason why it fell through is because of the hard cap.
I think if there was no hard cap in place, Bogdanovic would probably be in Milwaukee
right now.
Okay.
Makes sense.
That's Bobby Marks.
You can see him all over the place and we always appreciate his time.
Thanks, man.
Thanks, Ryan.
Diana Rossini will join us in just a moment, but what's watching football like for you on Thanksgiving? Are you able to watch the games? Thanks, Ryan. sneak into the bathroom and call someone. You're like, all right, give me.
Like, you go to the bathroom a lot.
Are you all right?
Like, yeah, yeah, no, stuffing's just getting to me.
I'm trying to get an over on this Lions game.
Sorry.
Sorry, Dad.
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west virginia diana i was trying to think of who is more unpopular than tasem hill on twitter
people really don't like him i don't think they like his contract and i'll admit like times when
he comes in to do the gimmicky thing,
when Drew Brees is on the bench at third down and it doesn't work out,
then everybody's super mad about it.
But Peyton was defiant about this one, and he was going with Hill.
He gets the win over Jameis.
So what went into the decision?
Give us all the backstory.
You were down there covering this game, so tell us everything.
Yeah, I think it's important to keep in mind that this wasn't a decision
that Sean Peyton made that was easy.
He's really confident in all the decisions he normally makes whenever we're talking ball with him.
He eats. He just believes in everything he does. He's not a very whimsy guy.
There's no gray area with him. And I had an opportunity to talk to him like about an hour, two hours before kick.
to him like about an hour two hours before kick and after covering him for you know four or five years now that was probably the most uncomfortable I've ever seen Sean Payton um and it was because
he was nervous and and I asked him off camera if he was and he said look I'm always nervous
but I'm nervous for him I'm nervous because there's a lot of pressure. And, you know, a lot of people want me to be wrong here. And, you know, he referenced, I've been calling plays for Drew Brees for 15 years, you know, with the exception of a handful of other quarterbacks, we speak the same language. This is a whole new art in a way with Taysom.
speak the same language. This is a whole new art in a way with Taysom. So it was the most candid I've ever seen him. And he was comfortable me talking about it, or at least talking to me about
it. He knew I was going to speak about it on TV. But I appreciated that there was some human
element because sometimes these head coaches want to act like what they say is Bible and you know, they know all.
So there were certainly a gigantic sigh of relief when he went out there,
was able to actually prove that he's a pocket passer who can run.
But going back to how it came together,
he pretty much shared with a lot of people that he and Taysom had a
conversation in the spring before they even gave him that contract.
It was Taysom going to Sean saying, I want an opportunity.
I want a chance.
This is what I want to be.
I want to be the next starting quarterback for the Saints in the post-Jubreeze era.
And Peyton made a deal with him that he would do it, and he stuck to his word.
Drew Brees era.
And Peyton made a deal with him that he would do it.
And he stuck to his word.
Now, there's also part of me that thinks, okay, it was Atlanta and he completed 18 passes.
But my expectations for him weren't super high because of the little glimpses that we had seen.
And so I don't know if I'm rooting for a conclusion here where I'm like, oh, he still really wasn't that good. So how much of that should we factor in to them getting the win and him looking i would
say okay yeah i i would categorize him as okay i would still say he was better than what i expected
um you know we're on the same page there from like those little pieces that we'd seen like i
was like i don't know we'll see look he muscles the ball a lot he's a big dude like even watching
him in warm-ups, so funny.
With COVID now, they have us higher than where I normally stand during pregame.
I've seen the interview shots, Racine.
I've seen you're just dominating.
You're just above.
These coaches have to look up at you as it's getting yellow.
So ridiculous.
It's the only time where I feel I have some power, though, because I'm like, oh, I'm big.
It's a very power move yeah i like it um which i did notice yesterday that payton didn't look me in
the eye at all the entire interview i mean this is someone i see all the time i'm comfortable
with him and i was trying to figure out what what's what's on his mind but i just think it
actually was part of the whole drama leading into the game, which is he was tense and uncomfortable.
By the way, the entire pregame was weird as hell yesterday.
Okay.
So let's just start with the fact that I'm at the Superdome and it's quiet.
Okay.
There's fans, but it's not like it normally.
Superdome is insane.
You've been there before.
It's loud.
It's one of the best places to ever watch a football game.
And I enjoy covering the Saints because they have the best DJ's like all these like little elements that make it fun um so then you have warm-ups yeah i can barely spot tasem because he just
looks like a linebacker you know he looks on a tight end even he's just like, where is he? And he's wearing long black sleeves and those just reference,
like my black yoga pants, you know, it was just like, you know, you couldn't really spot them.
Uh, but I could see Jameis. So I was like, Oh, there's Taysom. Um, you know, and they're going
through their warmup and they're doing this sort of wannabe Drew Brees warmup. I've, we've all
seen Drew warm up on Monday night football a million times. We've all seen the video. And it just looked just like it, but just like a really bad version of it.
And then you have Drew Brees about 40 yards away on the other side of the field,
pacing up and down, going through mental reps while this is happening.
And then they go through the traditional warm know, the traditional, you know,
warmup where Taysom takes reps at the first team,
which again,
that's even weird to see him as the quarterback,
uh,
as a starter there with the first team.
But then he goes out with the punt team too,
at the end of the practice,
at the end of the warmup.
So it's like,
what is happening?
Like,
and then I thought maybe they were doing that to kind of mess with the Falcons for watching, because this was the thing. They
wanted to keep this thing quiet all week long, which we found out on Friday because inside story
here, it was getting out. Every insider had it. Saints were pretty much begging us not to put it
out. And eventually somebody hedges.
Once the one insider hedges, then everybody goes.
And we all went.
But they really did not want to give the Falcons the advantage
knowing that Jameis and Taysom are just two completely different dudes.
So now that it's done, we saw that Peyton retweeted Roddy White,
receiver for the atlanta falcons um peyton is there there are times where i think it's great when people in like powerful
positions can remind us that they can be just as petty as everyone else which i think happens
probably more and more um but it plays in perfectly to him being nervous in a way that's
about tasem about the decision about play calling now for the first time in a long time in a way that's about Taysom, about the decision, about play calling now for the first time in a
long time in a very different way. So, I mean, you've been around Coach Payton a long time.
What do you think his level of satisfaction, even against an Atlanta team, clearly for him to
retweet it was on his mind the whole time. And that's the first thing he does after a game,
which I actually think is kind of weird. But just give us more insight on that.
That's why you and I get along so well, because I share in a lot of your opinions. And,
and,
and in this case I do,
um,
because I know him as well.
And I,
and I seen how he leads.
It's why they let,
it's why the guys like playing for him though.
It's because he's not afraid to be vulnerable in those positions and be
immature and be petty.
Um,
you know,
it's one thing to retweet that
maybe a day later,
but he just wrapped up with us.
So that meant it was on his mind?
By the way,
it's not like he follows Roddy White.
So did he see that
and sort of pin it?
Like, second we win,
I'm going out there and retweeting that.
And the fact that even
he's caught up in the social media um obnoxiousness you know like why don't you have something better
to do than retweet right away like your win speaks for itself it's just you know this is a guy that's
been mentored by bill parcells who also has a level of petty to him as well. Sean way more.
But yeah, I mean, this is who he is, though.
There's tons of stories that players won't get into it with me.
They won't give me the details, obviously, because they like to keep stuff in house.
You know, where they do things on the road after wins, like they celebrate in their own
way against the other
team i i know i know one day i'll tell you i'm putting my hands up right now because you're not
giving us enough you're just teasing the hell out of us i know i want to give you all the juice
which really leads me to believe i don't want to sound like a like a fangirl of the saints because
i'm not i've actually i feel like i've criticized them way more than I've celebrated in the last year um Ryan do you remember this summer when the the biggest issue they had going
was the fact that Drew Brees you know was wasn't supporting you know the Black Lives Matter
and I remember Van Pelt had me come on that night and he was like, you know,
really curious with how this would resonate with these players.
I was like,
Oh my gosh,
this is the best thing to ever happen to New Orleans Saints.
Cause these dudes bounce better than anybody.
They've lost three times in the post season in a row,
three years ago.
They know what it's like to be around shit. And granted it's,
it's different when
when this is like social issues and important and actual real life stuff but they they revel in it
and i think that was the best thing for them and we forget about it because now they're running and
they're doing so many great things but that's how that season started no it's a good point it's a
really good point because it goes into like oh how are they going to respond how they can respond
and they've played incredibly well.
Okay.
Your other, I'd say you feel like, I don't think you're more of a Saints.
I feel like you're more Titans now than you've been in anything else.
Is that, well, geez, I just got a nasty eye roll from you there.
Oh my God.
It wasn't, I just think the Titans stink.
So it's, it's, it's hard because they find ways to win.
And they amaze me at times that they pull this off.
When you look at their roster, you look at their injuries,
every week it's something different.
Their defense is trash.
We talk about Petty.
I feel like the two best examples of Petty yesterday
was the Sean Payton retweet of Roddy White,
but also the whole John Harbaugh and Mike Briebel
stepping on the logo,
which to share some insight on that.
Do you care?
Absolutely. I love this.
Okay.
So I guess it started with Malcolm Butler
was standing on it.
And I guess this is why I do kind of like the Titans.
They didn't understand what the issue was with the logo.
They didn't even know that they didn't know what the logo was.
They don't even know what the logo is for the Ravens.
So this wasn't intentional.
This is just them being dumb.
This is pregame, by the way, just standing around.
Pregame, standing around, not being aware that this isn't college.
They're just standing there getting ready to, I guess, the national anthem was coming up or whatever the order was.
So I was told that Rabel's assistant grabbed Rabel and was like, yo, you got to get out there because john harbaugh and malcolm butler are about
to go at it so was harbaugh yelling at malcolm butler for just standing on the logo when butler
was likely just standing on it just to get ready for the game yes which is what makes this amazing
so and malcolm now malcolm is like why are you yelling at me like what are you talking about
he's like get off the logo he's like what right so it's like this big miscommunication Frabel has no idea what's going on he runs over and he's
trying to figure it out quickly you know obviously everyone's adrenaline's going and he's not sure if
everyone's gonna fight so he's like what are we fighting about and and he hears Harbo say uh the logo and i guess mike goes what logo so it became this whole like
what like this is your issue dude and and one of the players told me that ravel just went
john just go coach your goddamn team so that's why in the pre-game when he it's almost this is
perfect i love this insight this is amazing because you're
telling us like now everything matches up the video matches up perfectly where butler's like
what are you doing and then butler's like oh you care about it that much so now i'm going to start
jumping around and just mocking you and then when vrabel is kind of like what's going on what's going
on and then as you tell us once he finds out it's about the logo,
Frabel's just like, whatever.
It just waves him away.
Like this is the dumbest shit.
And then that leads to, you know, look, Tennessee pulls off.
So keep going.
Cause I don't want to leave out.
I don't want to have,
I don't want to talk over you and have you leave anything else.
Go ahead.
No, no, you're, you're, you're leading this perfectly.
This is, this is great.
But so one of the players said, is, is the Under Armour thing, is that their logo?
No, I'm like that, like Harry Potter looking thing in the middle.
That's the logo.
Like just the idea that they didn't get it.
And that this other team is all fired up about it.
John Harbaugh's finding a reason to, you know, he's obviously fired up.
He's been bullied by this team.
They haven't been the same
since the playoffs last year. I think it all works. And here's the thing. This is where John
Harbaugh made a mistake. And I think he's a brilliant coach. I really do. I think he's
fantastic. He played right into the Titans. This is what these guys love. They love being the
street rats. They love being the guys that nobody assumes. This is why they were able to beat New England,
which is why they were able to beat the Ravens last year,
why they gave Kansas City a little bit of a run there in the first half last year.
So all that did, and AJ Brown talked about it in postgame,
was like, yeah, as soon as we saw like our coaches were fighting,
we're like, all right, this shit's on, you know?
Let's talk more about your Tennessee stinks statement,
because I will admit in the
past, I've had a lot of seasons with the Titans where I go, wait, there's seven and four. I go,
how, how did that happen? Um, and, and now they're better. The variable version of these teams are
better, but the thing that I kept going to, you know, when you go through about halfway through
the season, I think quarterway season, you start looking at Tennessee's defense and you're thinking
they're what's up with this defense, you'd usually think tennessee defense first we do a bad job with that
we'll like just attach an identity to a team and vrabel's tough and he played defense and they're
going to be good on defense not at all yeah right we're so simple and it's like actually they're
going to chuck it all over the field to be able to keep up because their defense has been so bad
they were historically bad on third down defensively. They were over 60% converted against. It's a little bit better. It's at like low 50s, 52, 53.
It's still worst in the league. It was on pace to be one of the worst we've seen in a really long
time. So what is it about this team? I think you're being a little harsh, but I think it's
actually kind of a shock to go, that's right. They have a really hard team, yet they pull this
off against Lamar, who's kind of hit or miss on some of those drives
anyway, but what did you take from this win, which is still a huge AFC win. They have a good record.
Um, you know, AJ Brown's touchdown was one of the best plays of the season. So I think stinks is
harsh, but they're just, they're different than I think people expect them to be.
Well, they, they're that team that will step up and play against a team
they shouldn't beat and then lose to the Jags, right?
So they have the Colts coming up this week.
We saw them face the Colts on Thursday night football
where they were actually in control of that game.
It was special teams that came in and just messed it all up
and blew that situation up.
And the special teams have actually probably been there.
Achilles heel all year long.
We've seen Gostkowski.
He's missed seven now,
which leads the lead.
I think it's actually eight now.
He's which leads the league in missed field goals.
You know,
a guy that they came in,
they pay him a lot of money,
which,
you know,
to answer your question,
why,
why are you not cutting him?
A,
who you bring it in and B you paid him,
you know,
a couple million to be there.
So that's a tough cut.
Uh, Jadavia Clowney comes in. He's the big, sexy free agent. Oh, he's reuniting with Braves. They,
they were together with the Texans. He's going to get the best version of them. He's been fine.
He's got injuries. He's got bad knees. Like that, That's a bust. They bring Vic Beasley in during free agency.
Oh, Frey was going to be able to find his passion.
He'll get it out of him.
They just boot him because he's not doing anything.
They do have a strong locker room as well.
I will give them a lot of credit.
The core of that team, they are tight.
And if you're not, and I hate using their language, but if you're not a titan they don't really want to mess with you they don't really
want you around them and they pick up on it in practice and and you know guys talk about all the
time their first round draft pick their offensive lineman um isaiah wilson stinks and he's he's done
nothing and i'm sorry that i'm'm laying in so hard Titans fans,
which, by the way, they are the most aggressive fan base out there,
which sounds strange, right?
Because Nashville is such a wonderful city,
and people are so nice, and they say y'all and stuff.
But Chris Long and I text about this all the time.
They come for you.
Which, by the way, he's off the Titan bandwagon,
and it irritates me because he just, he just quit.
Like he just quit them for no reason. And I love that they're winning.
And I think I'm a, I think about him every time they win. I'm like, Oh,
he wants back on. I know he does, but defense, your,
your original question. Look, I, Dean Pease was the,
the defensive coordinator last year, Rabel took over.
He's doing the coaching and the coordinating.
He's getting tons of criticism in Nashville for that.
Like, dude, give it up.
You can't do both.
But it's the same guys.
They're running the same scheme.
It's just a different year
and they're having just different types of issues.
And I'm always going to kind of hold back
on my criticism of the coordinators in those
situations because Vrabel can't go out there and make a tackle. I mean, I'm sure he probably could
actually, but you know what I mean? Like he can't go out there and play hard. He can't do those
things that they're not doing. So this isn't the product of not understanding what to do. It's a
lot of this has been effort and tackling, which is why they've struggled on third do. It's, it's a lot of this has been effort and tackling, um,
which is why they've struggled on, on third down.
It's getting slightly better.
I'm team,
uh,
team variable now though,
though,
after the game where they beat him and then goes to shake Harbaugh's hand and
Harbaugh's like,
no.
So you just go,
okay.
I mean,
Harbaugh has,
has over the years been one of the sores losers in the NFL.
And he's a terrific coach.
They're great when they
win right they want everyone to know how wonderful they are. When they lose when they lose they're
they're brutal to deal with and they have been for a long time and I think Harbaugh's terrific
but that's definitely part of the game plan down there. Okay before we let you go because you have
Colts Titans and a lot of us spent probably a good chunk of our Sunday watching that full Packers
Colts display
and people making fun of the Colts' defense,
28 points in the first half,
but they deserve all sorts of credit
and whatever Rivers is, it's probably good enough.
Do you have insight on them, whether it's you,
whether it's stuff you've heard or leading up to this?
I know you probably have a lot more prep to do
with this being your matchup.
Give me a sense of what we should think about the Colts
and the AFC now. Well, just in this your matchup. Give me a sense of like what we should think about the Colts and the AFC now.
Well, just in this specific matchup this week, it's completely in favor of the Colts at this
point.
And one of just the, I'd say the headline for this is actually the injury situation,
which I know is, it seems low hanging fruit and perhaps lazy, but it is the truth.
They have nobody on Tennessee.
I mean, they went into the Ravens game already dealing.
They were banged up with 11 guys on the injury report,
and two more players yesterday are dealing with it.
And I know this time of year everyone's dealing with it,
but comparably, you look at Indianapolis,
they're not dealing with anything even close to that. Um,
when I talked to Frank Wright on that Thursday night game before it, um,
in the cool talk to them from the stands thing, um,
I was shocked actually. All I asked him was, you know,
how big of a game is this? He's like, if we don't play our best football,
we're going to lose this game. We have to play our best.
Phillip has to be the best quarterback he's been all season
for us to win this game tonight.
He has to be better.
Coaches never give that much.
It's like, oh, wow, okay.
And he did.
He went out and actually played really well that night.
But I think the problem is, too, timing-wise,
I think the Colts are clicking now.
I think they're finding it on offense.
And that's really been – this is a team –
I mean, this is a franchise that's been historically known for their offense,
as we were talking about before about how we do this to these teams.
But it's really their defense has been fantastic this season,
one of the best, and now the offense is catching up here.
So the Titans are, I think, meeting them at the wrong time.
And I think the Colts are going to want to win the division.
That was great.
I really appreciate the fact that you're just traveling back from your assignment.
You're able to do this.
By the way, you can follow Rossini at Diana ESPN.
And yeah, there you go.
Locked in for football.
So thanks again.
We'll talk soon.
It's awesome.
Somebody actually cares about my stories
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Let's get it.
wired life advice rr at gmail.com let's get it i also want to welcome in what sounds like a lot of new listeners to the podcast that fast forward just to this part i had a friend this morning that
was saying hey just a heads up like you know i kind of know where your head's at with some things
i have a sports question here or there he's like but i am religiously just fast forwarding to the
end first and if i don't get to the rest of the pod,
I'm like, okay, but that's what we're hearing.
That's the kind of feedback we're getting.
So let's keep it rolling.
All right.
I'm going to try to do a couple of quicker ones.
I don't go fast on these though.
Let's not change the scattering report on me.
Okay.
Hey, Ryan, my name is, we'll leave it out.
And it's come to my attention that most people in my life
think I'm a bit of an ass or even a jerk.
To be honest, this comes as a shock to me. I have a very dry sense of humor.
It can be sarcastic, but only to people I actually trust to care about. Words of affirmation aren't
a big part of the way I communicate, but I believe actions speak louder than words. For example,
I've helped many friends and family members move. All right, you, go you. Paint houses and even
babysit. I try to do little things like bring in extra coffee when i
arrive places or always show up with enough beer for many people to enjoy by the way that's um
that's a great great sign because we have a friend that notoriously shows up with nothing
i mean this is when we were younger no i mean wouldn't like have two beers in his pocket
and then drink all of your stuff.
Like, seriously, that's how, that's how, uh, let's just say it's selfish. And it was just became a thing.
And our, our group was very good and we're still very close, which is pretty remarkable.
I think, um, with a lot of the different personalities, but like everybody every now and then we'll
kind of tell each other like, oh, you know, so-and-so did this all the time. And, and one guy was notorious for just never
bringing anything. So, you know, if you think you're saving money by not spending $15 in a
fucking 12 pack, congrats, but just how about this by the 12 pack and your boys won't be talking
behind your back about what a shithead and how cheap you are the whole time. So I would rather just spend the 15 bucks once every few weeks. Okay. So here's the deal. Despite this,
many people in my life think I can be too direct and too sarcastic to the point where they describe
me as an ass, as someone who seems like a pretty good guy that a lot of people view as gruffy,
surly. What can I do to change that opinion of me? I like this line. I've listened since NBA today.
I really appreciate you putting out content for people like me to enjoy for free. My brothers and I say ghost dad. Anytime someone
tries to describe a movie and I've shown who's the jerk to basically everyone with a sense of
humor. Okay. I think this is a very, very easy fit. Well, it might not be an easy fix, but I
think it's easy to identify. And if you're picking up on it, I know what you're doing. You're making
fun of people all of the time. And it's your mechanism of like conversing with people. You want to know why
I know what you're doing? That's kind of what I did. And you can root it to like, oh, you're
insecure. I don't think that's what it was for me. Although nobody ever likes admitting they're
insecure. You're like, you know what I have a hard time with? I'm really down on myself and
super insecure because the guy who's super insecure is doing all the compensation things because he's actually deep down insecure. That guy's not even remotely close to admitting
that he's actually insecure, right? You usually don't find out how insecure somebody is until
you're actually around them all the time. I would think our deal was when we were younger,
you either eat or be eaten. So it's a million guys and everybody's trying to out for the other guy.
And you just start surviving by making fun of everyone. So that's what I did. I just,
I would get made fun of. And then I was like, all right, now I got to make fun of you.
And I'll admit, as you start to grow up, it gets really fucking old. People get really sick of it.
So if you're at work and you're just constantly just tuning up guys verbally, it gets old.
People don't want to be around it all the time.
So maybe that's what you're doing.
Maybe that's some version of your dry sense of humor.
So does it mean like somebody's in the office or somebody's at work and you just go, oh,
this guy.
If you're just doing that routine all the time, yes, it's going to get old.
And the fact that somebody called you out on it, it probably means it's bad.
old. And the fact that somebody called you out on it, it probably means it's bad. Like if somebody actually was like, I'm going to tell you the thing that we all say about you, that's annoying. So
just figure that out. I'm not saying I'm, I'm, um, I'm different, but you know, look, if I were 30,
I don't know, maybe I don't know what age I started figuring it out. And at some point you
get a little bit older, you just got to figure out, um, especially when you have something like a show, you have to be more of a leader.
Like, I couldn't sit there and just make fun of everybody all the time.
Although I still did it sometimes, okay?
But let's just face it, Kyle.
If I were doing this podcast at 30, I'd be making fun of you all the time.
And it would get old.
And it wouldn't even because you're somebody that I should be making fun of all the time.
It's this weird deal where I had it in me because I go,
all right,
well,
the only way I can survive with all these guys,
like I could just sit here because I never was going to be the guy that was
just going to get beat up verbally and just stand off in the corner and be
like,
I don't feel comfortable talking about this right now.
I was going to have to come back at you to survive.
And you start picking up that skill.
And then the first thing you're doing,
whenever you hear anything,
the first thing that pops in your head is some way to just make fun of a
dude.
And you can't, you can't live life that way because it's eventually guys are going to be like look every stroke every single swing you got something to say every time
we sit down at a bar every time in the restaurant you're always kind of like side comment making fun
of this guy making fun of that guy is if if it's to the point where people are calling you on it
you got to just start you got to get... Wean yourself off of that shit.
That's funny. I feel bad because
that is Jim Cunningham, who
now works with Sal at Extra Points, but I
shared an office with him for four years, and that
is that guy. He's like... Nobody would
ever accuse him of being nice. They would
say he's considerate, and he's constantly
dropping bombs. And I enjoyed it
because I'm 27, but
I feel like i would i would
hang with this guy because it sounds exact it probably is jim cunningham writing the email so
yeah i mean that's unless you're just a jerk and it's not any of those things so i don't want to
assume any like the root of the problem to the conclusion but it's just what it sounds like
because i didn't really realize it and then i was kind of like man
you just just whenever you do this thing you're like you're just making fun of everybody to kind
of stake out your territory like hey i'm the i'm the guy here but the real alpha the real confident
guy the real guy that's in charge you know you got to build people up you got to and honestly as i've gotten older people's
shit doesn't bother me as much anymore i just go okay that's what you do whatever you know as long
as you don't fuck up my show that's all then i'll then i'll have a problem with you not you
kyle wow that no no no this is so this is what you're talking about if you were 30 that's the
type of stuff you would be doing no no i mean I'm thinking back to like the people that were like,
Oh,
we're still,
wasn't that great to be around.
And I go,
well,
you know,
usually the people that have had the biggest problem with me are either
terrible at their job or consensus.
Like some of the most disliked people in the industry,
which has always made me feel better.
Like if I gave you the list of the five guys that I know hate me the most,
I'm like,
Oh,
really good.
Good. I feel even better okay um all right uh we got a 20 year old who's lost fan for years 20 year old student university of florida currently studying to be an actor
whoa as well as earning a minor in sports journalism life has been putting me through
the ringer lately no pun intended oh maybe you're a writer not an actor dude and well as earning a minor in sports journalism life has been putting me through the
ringer lately no pun intended oh maybe you're a writer not an actor dude and it's uh brought me
to emailing you i find myself in a place i've never found myself before maybe because you're
fucking only 20 dude not knowing what the hell i'm doing all right can we just take another time
out here express it to everybody as much as i'm not the biggest like i think some of the mental
health awareness
stuff has been great for a lot of people. So that's the most important thing,
knowing that more people are going through what you're going through or have had these moments
that maybe they were afraid to share. The openness of it has led a lot of people to
probably feeling better about those days that are really tough days. I don't think it's too
insensitive to say,
I don't know that I want constant updates on how bummed out everybody is though either.
Now, there's some real similarities here where you are realizing, oh, I got to start making
some real grown-up decisions. There could be long-term ramifications for everything I do now
as I leave college or get to those early 20s and
start thinking about a career or start thinking about all the different things I want to do.
Okay. So a lot of you write these emails in as if you're the only person that's going through this.
So what you should realize is this is important one that you, you are recognizing that these are
important decision-making years, but you're still making way too much of it. You're putting too much
because it's the first time you're ever experiencing it. The rest of us that are
late thirties, forties, you're like, dude, we've had, we've had multiple times where you start
going, okay, what are these next five years look like? What if I do this instead of this?
The difference is, is you're kind of self-centered, not you specifically,
because it's the first time you're, and you're just thinking, oh my gosh, like, I can't believe
this. Yeah, no shit. Welcome to being a grownup. This is life.
So to think that you're by yourself, be positive about it, that you care, that you're aware
of it.
And I can tell you to stop stressing about it.
I can tell you it's not that big of a deal.
All these things are true.
You're not going to listen to me.
You're just not.
You're not going to have a moment where things look like they're going awful and you've made all these bad decisions. And you're going to go, we're
about a podcast though, back in November, 2020, where he said not to worry about it.
So, you know what? I'm good. I'm good. Like that's not going to happen. And if I were your
age listening to somebody else, I wouldn't be listening to that guy. I mean, I'd listen,
but I wouldn't use any of it. So I'm just telling you, if there's anything, all of you that listen to this,
that are at that stage,
20s, oh no, now what?
Just, you know, relax.
Relax about it.
I know you're not going to,
but you are like everybody else.
And you're in a good group
because like I said,
it's important that you worry about this.
It's good that you're worried
about it because it means you care and you care about your future and you want to make the right
decisions. But there's no perfect guidebook. I just wish everybody could find a way to just
relax a little bit about it. Not relax to the point where you want to be in unemployment for
like a decade and you're like, I'll figure it out when I'm 30. Rosillo said to relax. That's
not what I'm saying. I'm just saying, don't think it's just you because
probably everybody else on campus, when things were normal that you were looking at are going
through the exact same things. And honestly, it doesn't really go away until I think like
mid thirties, to be honest with you. Um, but not everybody's the same. All right. So I find myself
in a place I've never found myself before, not knowing what the hell I'm doing and becoming
lazy, a consistent smoker, a gender degenerate gambler. Oh, okay. So you're making awesome decisions here.
And someone not as comfortable with his own skin as he used to be. Worst part is I push it all off.
I feel like it's nothing. I'm consistently questioning myself with what I want to do in
my life. I took the leap after high school and deciding I want to be an actor, but now I find
myself scared of the prospective future in that career field and questioning if I'm good enough.
I don't want to sit here and type all my problems to you. At the end of the day,
everybody has them. Instead, I wanted to ask you a couple of questions. What is your advice as far
as finding exactly what you want to do in life? First thing, I knew I couldn't be nine to five.
Alums came back to college that were in my fraternity. I didn't even know them. They would
tell me stories about commuting. I hated it so much. It scared the shit out of me. I knew I
always wanted to do something creative or I was going to work outside. Um, I wasn't going to be a landscaper the rest of my life. Shout out to the landscapers
and Aaron Neesmith, but I was definitely going to, you know, maybe be a GC because I figured I
could be my own boss. I could get a truck with a cool lumber rack on it that I wouldn't even use.
Cause I probably, the GCs aren't running two by fours to the job site that much,
but that's what I was going to do. would be cool yeah i just wanted that rack and a
lift kit i'm still looking at trucks now but i don't know where that i don't know where i'd park
it let me just show up to the site like what are you guys oh i see what you're doing over there on
the dormer it's nice um so that that's that's uh it sounds like you want to do you know the cool
shit but you know what's you know what the problem with the cool shit is sounds like you want to do, you know, the cool shit, but you know what's,
you know what the problem with the cool shit is, is it's really hard to do.
So if you're already going, oh man, you know, I want to be an actor, but now I'm not sure.
There's no, no kidding.
That's the whole point is that it's really, really hard.
And there's going to be all these other times.
I mean, you even, you haven't even experienced hard.
You're still in school.
All right?
So yes, if you want to go be an actor because it sounds cool to tell girls that on campus,
or you want to be able to move to LA and go, I'm going to do this, but you got to figure
out the other part of it, which is very consistent too.
And that is you have to figure out what your timeline for success is.
Because if you say, I'm going to move
to LA and if a year, it's not going to happen, it's not going to happen. Well, if you do that
now during COVID, it's definitely not going to happen. So I wouldn't even bother moving out to
be an actor, um, until a lot of this stuff is normalized. Do you have any connections? If you
have none, you know, look, I had thought I had really good connections on the writing front.
It's going pretty well based on my own timeline. It's not going as well as I'd want it to go.
And whatever I've accomplished in trying to transition over into writing for television
and movies, it's not, oh, you have a podcast?
You do some advice stuff at the end?
Oh, that's original.
So it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
And I feel like I've established something in my life and accomplished a few things.
So if you have no connections and you want to be an actor,
that's great. But if you're already like, oh man, but that's going to be tough,
that concerns me. Because then you ask, all right, what keeps you motivated? I remember
driving to Gainesville for the first time about to move into a college dorm, move to a city I
knew nobody. I listened to the life thing with part of my take with you, PMT, Big Cat, and the other guy.
I found it very poetic listening to all of you be extremely honest and raw to an audience of thousands while I was starting a new chapter in my life.
All right, now he's calling me a role model, which I don't know that I would go that far with me as a role model.
if you're going to do the cool stuff,
be on air,
writer,
actor,
comedian,
musician,
um,
you gotta be almost ridiculous about your drive.
You just do.
So whenever I get down on myself about like the writing thing,
I didn't even get the sentence out before I make myself stop talking.
Like I'll go,
what if you don't even think like one day it won't.
And I go, what do you talk about? Like, that's, that's not happening. Like something will happen. You got to see it going away. You got to see that ball going in. I can't
even Kyle, I'm not bullshitting you. I've had a couple of moments where I was driving around where
I went, Hey, you know, the podcasting is going really, really well. Like what if, because I was
done, I was good leaving ESPN. I was done doing the radio show thing. And I was like, no, this is really what I want to do.
It's like, what if you actually don't end up doing anything? And I go, whoa, I'm like, well,
that's not going to like something will happen. And I don't know if that makes any sense to people
listening, but it sounds almost arrogant. It's, but you have to be kind of be arrogant about it.
You can't be the difference
that I've noticed with people that want to do again, that group of cool careers, the cool stuff,
and then end up doing the stuff that, and I'm not knocking anything else, but I think we understand
like, you know, when you look at actors and like, oh, that would be awesome. You go, well,
yeah, but unless you knew somebody or had a relative in the business,
a lot of that probably sucked. So you have to have this delusional self-confidence
that you're already way behind everybody else.
I mean, there's a reason why actors are so fucked up
because they had to decide at a very early age,
like, no, I'm awesome
and I deserve to be in movies and television
and all these no's are not going to bother me.
And then, you know, like, maybe because there's also another element where you're, you know,
this is different. I'm just a guy hosting a podcast and trying to write, but as an actor,
you're a liar. You know, your, your whole, whole life is learning how to be other people, uh, that,
that aren't you. So there's some deeper shit going on there that maybe I don't even understand. But there's, there's a lot of people, these, these really, really successful people
that can seem weird to you, to the public. But a lot of it has to do with just being wired a way
that a lot of people aren't, or when you're having those moments of self-doubt, like you don't even
let them creep in. Like it's not going to happen. Like I'm going to be successful. So the fact that
you're kind of like, Oh, this is going to be a really tough career.
I don't know if I want to do this. That's not a great sign. So I'm not saying quit. I've never
said that to anybody, but you need to get a little bit more, start lying to yourself for a little
while. Give yourself three years like, I'm doing this. I'm doing it and no one's telling me no.
I don't know what your money situation is. I don know all that stuff but if your money situation isn't great if
you don't know anybody and you want to be an actor right out of college and covid like i get it man
i used to say weird shit too when i was in college like you know i'm thinking about doing this or
doing that or i was thinking about maybe getting into yeah like you know what i'd like to do is
maybe get hooked up with some farm in kentucky and learn how to breed horses dude i can't even
ride oh i guess I can ride
a horse barely, but I mean, you know how dumb that sounds. I'm embarrassed to even share that
with you guys 25 years later, but I don't know. You're 20 and you say dumb shit. Moving on.
God, I went forever on that one. I don't know why. I don't know why I went so long on that one,
Kyle. Okay. We got a, oh, this is a sweet one.
Child of divorce problem.
Hey, Ryan, I've got a situation that you as a fellow child of divorce may have some insight into.
Parents split up when I was nine and my brother was 13.
We stayed with our mom, had every other weekend at dad's.
Four years into this arrangement after a blow up over having to take us to activities over a longer Christmas visit,
our dad told us not to come anymore if we didn't want to spend time with him and his family.
So let me get this straight. So it sounds like you and your brother went to his house for Christmas, but he had to like bring you to practices and stuff or maybe to other friends' houses
and that he doesn't get you as much. So he was mad that you weren't spending the time with his family.
That's the kind of thing where I'm sure he probably regrets that if he's remotely normal.
But I can also understand, too, the dad wants you to be his sons,
and he wants you to make the most of that time.
And you're younger, and you're like, get me the hell out of here.
I want to go spend time with my friends.
I mean, this is not new,
but he should have,
it sucks that he blew up at you.
And then basically was like,
don't come here anymore.
That's really harsh, man.
And clearly you haven't forgotten it
because it's the third line in your email
as you're an adult now.
I definitely don't want kids emailing the show.
So let me double check it. Okay. All
right. Since then, my father and I talk a little bit, mostly around holidays or when I take a trip
home and have a meal, but my brother hasn't spoken to him in 18 years. All right. So you guys are
older. So this is something you're still hanging on, which I totally get. There are things that
have happened. You don't have to be a kid who had parents that were divorced, but there's certain
little moments of stuff that your parents will say to you that you're never, ever going to forget. And you can get over it,
you can not get over it. I haven't always done the best job getting over it. So you bringing
that up, that's a thing that happened. And it's the main part of what you're talking about here.
All right. So I'm consistently put in between. So you mentioned your brother hasn't talked to
him in 18 years. I'm consistently put in between the two. My dad will ask me to forward happy birthday holiday messages, which I don't want to do
when my brother is trying to have a good day.
My brother does not want to give my dad his phone number because if he wants it, he could
find it.
What's a good way to get myself out of the middle of this?
This is going to sound a bit harsh, but it's probably what you need to hear.
You've allowed yourself to be put in the middle of this whole deal.
You're all grownups now, and it sounds like it didn't go great. And that sucks.
As we all know, there's nothing you can do about it and fix it after the fact. And I really do
think parents get too raw of a deal in the post childhood evaluation of like, can you imagine
being around anyone for as long as you're around your parents. Like you have buddies you've written off because of something stupid. And the number of opportunities your parents have to say something
to you or do something that you didn't like, I don't care how great your parents are. If you
want to find a problem with something and say, oh, this is the root of this, or this is why I'm like
this because they did this and all these different things. Like you could do that all day. You can keep doing it. You can
carry it on for years and years and years. And I can only tell you this is a complete waste of
fucking time. It just is. It's a complete waste of time. So like, would you want to have kids that,
you know, for the most part you did the best you could and you got divorced and you tried
and you made some mistakes and that they told you that they don't feel the same way about you
because of this thing you said to them when they were 11. That's just as harsh the other way around. So I kind of get your role
with this because if you have a bunch of kids that all went through the divorce, every one of the
kids is going to process it differently. Not all of the siblings are going to be on the same page.
I have that situation as well. But you're grown enough that if you're not comfortable forwarding these messages to your
brother because then it's reigniting this memory, this situation, the dynamic, this
relationship that you don't feel like being part of it, you need to just take yourself
out of it.
Let your brother and your father have the issues with each other.
And I know you can sit there and say, well, it's my brother and it's my dad.
You can still be your dad and he's clearly still going to be your brother if you're that close.
But if you're constantly being put in the middle of this awkward situation, it's up to you to get
you out of it and just be real forceful about it. Go to your brother and be like, hey, by the way,
I'm not talking about dad anymore. And it sounds like he doesn't want to talk about him anyway.
So problem solved. And you go to your dad and be like, hey, you and I are going to be cool
to whatever level it is. It's not going to be a Hallmark card here. It's very
clear. You don't see him that often, but if you're doing something here where it's your father and
you want to be like, look, it's still my father. And there are people that will have that be like,
Hey, I don't get along with this parent. But you know, at the end of the day, when I get that call,
I want to at least been good with them and not have talked to him for 20 years,
because I think that's something that should skills still scare the shit of you, depending
on how bad it was, you know, whatever. Some of you guys have all the right
in the world to never, ever speak to your parents again. But I feel like more than anything, you've
kind of let this go on for so much longer because you're the younger brother, because you still see
something in your dad. And maybe you're hoping deep down, like everybody's going to be happy
again. Well, you can't solve that. You've probably tried. You've been this arbiter in the middle for a long time. And the only way it's going to go away is just stare them both down
separately and go, Hey, I'm, I'm out. I'm not doing this shit anymore. It doesn't make me feel
good. It's never like, when's it been good? Why would you keep doing something over and over again?
That's doesn't sound like it's ever been worth it. So just cut them off and say, look, Hey,
you need to look up my brother's number or not get it
to me. But I, you know, I don't know. I don't know if you're trying to connect that whole thing,
but like in the future, if you want to hit up my brother and tell him happy birthday,
you can do it on your own. I'm not going to be a part of it. And you've removed the stress.
The stress is not going to go away because you know, it's, it's something that clearly still
bothers you, but why keep inviting the stress back into your life around the holidays and
birthdays all the time when it doesn't seem like this ever goes any different?
You're just doing it over and over again.
Life advice, rrgmail, at gmail.com.
And we're really excited.
We have some really famous actors, not our guy from Florida.
He's only 20, but we have some famous actors that are going to be joining the show.
So excited. Thank you.