The Scathing Atheist - 263: Son of Obituary Edition

Episode Date: March 1, 2018

In this week’s episode, we figure out if blessed AR-15’s kill less kids, rabbis in Iceland are running out of good excuses for sucking a baby's penis, and despite being such a Jesus fan, Billy Graham will not rise from the dead on the third day. For info on Noah’s talk in Allentown, click here: https://www.meetup.com/Lehigh-Valley-Humanists/events/247633530/ To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: http://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Godless-Misanthrope-Scathing-Presents-ebook/dp/B00J53FZFI/ref=sr11?ie=UTF8&qid=1396141562&sr=8-1 To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out out half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ Guest Links: To check out the “We’re All Mad Here” podcast, search on your favorite podcast player, or click here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/were-all-mad-here/id1250266017?mt=2 Headlines: Dominionist conference at Trump's hotel in D.C. right next to CPAC: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/dominionists-head-to-trumps-dc-hotel-to-bring-heavens-rule-to-america/ Gorka at CPAC: Trump’s election proves god exists: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/02/24/former-white-house-adviser-to-cpac-crowd-trumps-election-is-proof-god-exists/ PA Church offers to bless assault rifles: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/02/21/a-pa-church-near-an-elementary-school-will-bless-your-assault-rifles-next-week/ Wyoming bill seeks to define non-straight weddings as ‘parody marriages’ http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/02/16/wyoming-republicans-bill-defines-non-straight-unions-as-parody-marriages/ Follow up http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/02/19/wyoming-bill-defining-non-straight-unions-as-parody-marriages-is-dead/ Trump’s budget contains $1 billion to publicly fund religious schools: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/02/13/trumps-budget-seeks-1-billion-in-taxpayer-funds-for-private-religious-schools/ Go-Klings: Lesbians are forcing cake bakers into perverted threesome: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/02/21/preacher-lesbians-are-forcing-christian-bakers-into-a-perverted-threesome/ Pope revives sex abuse commission: https://religionnews.com/2018/02/19/pope-revives-lapsed-sex-abuse-commission-amid-skepticism/ Youtuber who says veganism and god cured their cancer dies of cancer http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/02/23/a-youtuber-who-said-veganism-and-god-cured-her-cancer-has-died-of-cancer/ Religious groups freaking the fuck out about Iceland circumcision ban: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/02/20/religious-groups-outraged-over-icelands-plan-to-ban-circumcision-for-non-medical-reasons/ This Week in Misogyny: Pence promises end to legal abortions in our lifetime: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2018/02/pence-promises-legal-abortion-will-end-time/ Rick Santorum blames school shootings on single mothers: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/02/25/republican-rick-santorum-blames-mass-shootings-on-single-mothers/

Changing a light bulb should be simple. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Uh-oh, that's not supposed to happen. Quickly submitting and tracking a claim on the Bel Air Direct app actually is simple. Bel Air Direct. Insurance simplified. Warning, the following podcast contains language. If you decide it's offensive, that's kind of on you. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by

Blue Apron, Dollar Shave Club, and by sexual assault rifles. Because the only way to stop a bad sexual harasser is a good sexual harasser. And now, The Scathing Atheist. This is Rachel from We're All Mad Here, a mental health history podcast. from We're All Mad Here, a mental health history podcast. And all of my research has proven that we did, in fact, evolve from filthy, insane monkey men. It's Thursday. It's March 1st.

And if you're scoring points on morning teenagers, you're the bad guy. You are. I'm no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heath Enright. And from New York, New York, Secret Lair, Pennsylvania, this is Skating Atheist. On this week's episode, we figure out if blessed AR-15s kill less kids. Rabbis in Iceland are running out of good excuses for sucking a baby's dick. And despite being such a Jesus fan, Billy Graham will not rise from the dead on the third day. But first, the diatribe.

Remember those mail order ads in the comic books? They're the ones that sold like undefeatable self-defense and x-ray glasses and shit like that. Kind of fucked up when you think back on that. A whole page of things that didn't exist for the low, low price of five bucks plus shipping and handling. But of course, I didn't know when i first saw them that they were bullshit so i poured over them and counted up my quarters i wanted to see through women's clothes i wanted to throw my voice and fool my friends i wanted to rule as the undisputed god king over a sentient village of microscopic weapon forging merpeople so i saved up a few

allowances to snag some change from the ashtray in the car i forewent a few school lunches i saved up for some of this marvelous new technology known only to the people who read all the way through the comic but luckily for me i still needed my dad's help mailing off the form my dad was a bit more savvy a consumer than myself so he talked me down and explained that none of that shit actually worked and i could tell by the way he said it that he'd learned that the hard way many moons ago. And I remember pondering over that for a second. I asked him, I'm like, isn't there some kind of law against selling stuff that doesn't do the thing you say it does? And I'll never forget his response.

Or, sorry, to be honest, given the nature of human memory, I've probably long since forgotten his real response and substituted it with a false memory that's more meaningful than his actual reply but for the purposes of this recollection what he said was yeah but they can get away with it because they're selling it to kids and if that's not a good enough analogy for religion for you i don't know what the fuck you want out of me at this point you know i look to be honest i don't get the whole lion to kids thing i i'm not a parent that's probably a big part of it but it seems to me that of all the people you could potentially tell really big lies to kids would be the worst right the people who don't know any better and are psychologically incapable of questioning your authority and trustworthiness and and yet there's this tacit

agreement in our culture that a certain amount of lying to your kids is acceptable if not downright desirable i mean we could talk about santa but he's small potatoes in the kid bullshitting department we have whole international institutions dedicated to this they have their own schools their own museums their own music tv shows movies superheroes theme parks all reinforcing the same set of lies. And just like the unscrupulous sea monkey dealers in the back of the uncanny X-Men, they're selling the kind of lies that you could never get away with if you tried to sell them to adults. I mean, set aside the shit that they might actually believe, right? Set aside the heaven and hell shit.

I agree with the common assertion that teaching your kid about hell is tantamount to psychological abuse. But I also recognize that if you yourself thought that hell was real, your conclusion would be that not telling your kid about it would be abuse. So set aside any of that shit that the parents might actually think is true. And just consider the known lies. Like, if you're being honest with your kids about religion, you'd think you'd have to point out that the majority of the people in the world don't believe all the stuff they're saying. Be kind of disingenuous not to. It would be deceptive to admit that fact. And yet somehow never makes it into Bible study.

Or what about the distorted bullshit version of evolution that evangelical parents foist on their kids? They know that's not fucking right. Hell, these people even lie about what's in their own holy books so their kids don't realize they're being asked to swear fealty to a pan-genocidal maniac. These kind of things can't be excused with the same defense they're using when they tell their kids that demons are going to burn them for eternity if they touch their dicks. I'd submit that something like one in a hundred parents who spreads that lie actually believes it, if that. But even if you give them the benefit of the doubt on all that stuff the overall dishonesty that taints their children's education is undeniable unless some religious parent try to

defend themselves by pointing out the kids aren't capable of understanding nuance and thus sometimes you need to simplify things to the point of deception let me pre-counter that argument by pointing out that there's no time where these parents are sitting their kids down and clearing it all up you know they don't say well okay well you're 12 years old now so it's time you knew that evolutionary biology doesn't predict crocodiles our paychecks are providing the daily bread and god's the bad guy in the noah story but the purpose of this diatribe isn't to talk about the depravity of lying to kids so much as the desperation it reveals like to their credit the guys selling the x-ray glasses haven't convinced

themselves that they're actually seeing bones and even if they had i'd like to think they'd be dissuaded by the fact that the only people that could convince to agree with them enough to spend five bucks on them were kids with less studious dads than me at some point they'd be like hey i thought we'd be selling better to medical professionals than Spider-Man fans and they'd figure it out. But not so for the purveyors of religion. And don't get me wrong. I'm sure many of them are just as disingenuous as the asshole selling freeze dried brine shrimp. They're way more dangerous, of course, because nobody ever chose sea monkeys as an alternative to chemotherapy for their kids.

But they score the same in terms of disingenuousness. But there are also some people who actually buy it. I mean, I'm assuming that there are somewhere. And it's not like they don't know the score. All you have to do is look where their outreach money goes, and it's clear that they're fully aware you can't talk adults into believing this shit. And yet, despite knowing fully well that only people who haven't developed critical thinking skills actually believe this nonsense they never reach the conclusion that it is therefore bullshit and it's hard not to feel sorry for them these cultural and intellectual throwbacks wandering the landscape in their x-ray

glasses certain that they're going to see through somebody's clothes eventually joining me for headlines tonight are the rick and morty of atheism heath ed right and eli bosnick fellas are you ready to fill me in on what an appropriate question here would be because i don't know who rick and morty are and i've never seen that show. Okay, well it's not about what a good question is. I think it's about when a good question isn't. And of course the answer is no ways for. I mean a very different thing when I

say I want that sauce anyway. So don't really worry about it. It's a very different. Okay. And while these guys tell me why that was funny, we're going to pause for a quick word from this week's first sponsor, Blue Apron. Hey, Noah. Oh, hey, guys. You still editing?

Uh-huh. Have you eaten anything today? Oh, sure, yeah. Yeah, I had food. Right. What kind of food, Noah? I had pancake burgers uh you had pancake burgers is that what you said it's not a thing yeah yeah sounds noah you need to eat like daily

every day look look guys i appreciate the intervention but i'm not allowed in the grocery store anymore you're not on the grocery store why. You're not allowed in the grocery store. Why? There was this cantaloupe and clearly I saw it first. I even called it from across the room. I remember this. I saw this in the paper. I remember this.

To be fair, the human rectum Okay, okay, okay. I feel like we're getting off track. We can fill in the rest. So why don't you skip the grocery store altogether and just try Blue Apron? Blue Apron? The number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country? Yeah, that's the one. They've been making incredible home cooking accessible to everyone for years.

Heath and I use it all the time. They send fresh pre-portioned ingredients and step-by-step recipes right to our door, and you can cook it in under 45 minutes. Right. Plus, the menu changes every week based on what's in season. Meals in March include quick bucatini with broccoli and pecorino cheese, Italian-style shrimp and sweet peppers over fragola sarta pasta, and parmesan-crusted steak with mashed potatoes. Okay, hold on. I made myself really, really hungry, plus the pancake burgers. I'm super hungry now.

And the best part is, Blue Apron is treating scathing atheist listeners to $30 off their first offer when they visit blueapron.com slash scathing. That's blueapron.com slash scathing? It is. You can check out this week's menu and get started today. Or even

right now. Blue Apron, a better way to cook. Can you make me a pancake burger? I really want a pancake burger too. And now, back to the headlines. In our lead story tonight, insane Christian people in the nation's capital faced an impossible choice last weekend between two extremely important events just outside the beltway in oxen hill maryland was the 2018 conservative political action conference or cpac and at the exact same time at the trump international hotel just down the street from the white house was an event called the, an appeal to heaven national gathering,

which is a conference of end times Christian dominionists. Oh, Jesus. How does one decide? It's like Sophie's pro-choice. You know that there was someone who was like, okay, we're just going to drop by the appeal to heaven, then we head straight to NaziCon, honey, all right? We're just going to say hi, shake some hands, and then straight to NaziCon.

Yeah, I bet a lot of people were unfairly swayed by the Dominionists advertising it as the last annual yet again. Okay, so for all the Christian right families out there, you gather around your fireplace, you're listening to atheist podcasts because you value diverse opinions. Right. So we're going to talk you through how to make this tough call next year if you're in the same situation. We'll start with CPAC. And for followers of Jesus, the highlight of the weekend at CPAC was probably a speech by former White House advisor Sebastian Gorka, who did an amazing job expanding on the work of Thomas Aquinas. In addition to the five proofs that Aquinas offered for the existence of God, the arguments from motion, causation, contingency, degree, and design.

Or as we call them, the argument from Home Depot aisles. Yeah. Causation aisles. Weird. Here's what Gorka did. He gave us proof number six the argument from donald trump now gorka doesn't really explain it very well but i think it goes something like this um god got secretly recorded while russian whores shat on his face so he had to do whatever putin told him

oh and uh russia can't blackmail someone that doesn't exist so qed it's got a lot of descartes in there too yeah but the argument doesn't work though gork is clearly putting descartes before the whores and you're not supposed to do that thing yeah and by the way if you think heath is exaggerating okay you're right but he did invoke trump as proof of god which i don't think is any less silly than the blackmail and the horrors, honestly. Yeah, so CPAC is always going to be tempting. And they're all about Christian dominionism these days. But one big drawback, they never fully commit to the apocalypse. And if you're a genuine Christian, you don't just read the nice parts of the Bible about Jesus helping the poor.

And, you know, well, in fact, you probably want to skip those. Your kids might end up being libtards and not going to see back. Especially if their friends get shot. Well, right, yeah, no. Make you a libtard in a hurry. Point being, you guys, you genuine Christians, you read the entire

Bible, including the book of Revelation, which is about to happen. Oh, yeah yeah and that means you know exactly how important it is to be generating uh magical force fields around donald trump so he can pack the court system with homophobic judges because otherwise uh sword mouth jesus is going to be super pissed when he shows up to end the world if there's not the right judges at the end of the world in the United States. And that's going to happen at any minute now.

Sword-mouthed Jesus shows up. Why are all these dudes married to other Jews? Seriously, I live for 2,000 years. Dudes and dudes. What's going on? Yeah, so final answer, I'd say genuine Christians, army of God thing over CPAC.

Yeah, absolutely. And in AR-15 isn't a Bible verse answer i'd say genuine christians army of god thing over cpac yeah absolutely and in ar 15 isn't a bible verse news tonight the moonies are back in the news after reverend sean moon son of the church founder son myung moon announced that his church would be responding to the recent shootings in parkland by blessing ar 15s in their church which is located across the street from an elementary school. I mean, to be fair, 17 is a piss poor number. I think you could have killed probably 25, 50 teenagers.

Oh, Jesus Christ, Eli. Okay, well, maybe over the course of like four years of high school with psychological bullying. No chance with a gun. You bring a gun to school, the gun immediately shoves you into a

locker it's getting your atomic wedgie it's calling the cops all right moving off this subject a little too late uh moon son of son explain the church just move on from those names it's cool i apologize i apologize i really couldn't help it um anyway he explained that the church has moved by pointing out that christianity still might have to massacre some motherfuckers. And I'm only exaggerating in the fact that they didn't use the F word. Listen to the quote and tell me if there's any way to interpret it other than our church might still have to overthrow secular rule at gunpoint. Quote, Revelation talks about the returning Christ ruling with the rod of iron. The rod of iron is the AR-15 in today's terms. Fuck you.

What? Okay, but AR-15 mouth Jesus is just silly, right? He's pulling the trigger with his tongue. Come on. Yeah, it makes that big finale of the murder-suicide a lot more awkward, James. Yeah, right. It's like, help me turn it. No, out.

Out slowly. Pivot it slowly. Stretch it. And then, out. Out slowly. Pivot it slowly. Stretch it. And then, ugh. Now, the blessing in question is scheduled for Wednesday the 28th, which means after I write this, but before the episode comes out. But the school district is already considering canceling school that day because, Christian or no, it turns out area parents are no less terrified of an assault rifle

after it gets Jesus' seal of approval. Imagine that. Who'd have thought? Also, if we're doing today's terms on the Bible, I have some other questions. Yeah, right. Okay, if you're doing stuff in today's terms, science book, you have science book now.

You get nothing. I want to know what the chariots of iron are. It's just like a Honda Accord. Fuck. Kick it in. And in runaway snide news tonight a bill in wyoming that sought to define non-straight weddings as parody marriages is as dead as the god it sought to appease this week after someone other than the crazy assholes who wrote it saw it yeah i should be reminded that

legislative stupidity still does have a floor, right? Yeah, I think it's called the floor of the U.S. Senate that allowed Neil Gorsuch to happen. But yeah, Wyoming's right up there, too. Anyway, HB 0167, or the Marriage and Constitution Restoration Act, was sponsored by two Christian Republicans. That would be state rep lars lone lars lone fantastic whose name gave him two choices in life that would be wyoming congressman or masturbation porn stars i think he chose poorly i agree i agree and also state representative roy edwards and well that's a couple of yeehaws right there lars and roy edwards

and uh yes they do look like the first enemies you fight in an anti-white beat-em-up and their bill is so stupid that even the republicans running the wyoming state legislature refused to bring it to a vote probably because the bill was the legal version of your drunk uncle ranting at his gay son on Thanksgiving. Here are some highlights. Okay. So first off, they just call gay marriage

parody marriage. They don't define it or say why. They're just like, you know, parody marriage. So that's where we start with this bill.

I thought parody marriage referred to the thing where you legalize an Eastern European once a decade for inheritance purposes and then fuck porn stars when they're acting bitchy or postpartum. Okay, to be fair, in Trump's America, everything's a parody. So here's another bit.

Section one, paragraph four, quote, marriage between a man and a woman arose out of the nature of things and is natural, neutral and non-controversial. Unlike parody marriages exhibit a your honor in my effort to prove that i'm pissed off for legitimate reasons is the fact that i'm pissed off oh also i just found out that gay couples get created in a lab by shooting latin bolts into a board fetuses that's not how you arise from the nature that's ridiculous same section paragraph seven quote all forms of parody marriage and all non-heterosexual sexual orientations or self-asserted sex-based identity narratives that fail to check out with the human design his words, not mine,

are part of the religion of secular humanism. Fucking what? And by failing to check out with human design, I mean I smashed together two Ken dolls and I got a weird feeling in my front butt.

The bill goes on to conclude that ever since gay marriage was legal, they've begun invading our schools with gay propaganda, which is therefore religious propaganda because of the secular humanism. And these two legislators don't want religious propaganda in schools. How is this a bill you can't make i heard mexican shit and buckets a law that wouldn't even make sense give a resolution yeah right now the sad news is that neither state senator responded to my phone calls to their publicly available phone numbers but maybe it was the fact that I just played a gay erotic audio book into their answering machine for an hour and a half. You might have better results.

And in school of subjectivism news, Donald Trump proposed a $4.4 trillion budget earlier this month that appears to be the product of an idiot trying to plagiarize Atlas Shrugged, which means everyone who loves that book and everyone who hates it, they're all going to hate this budget if they're paying attention because Trump and his team

managed to take every single bad idea from Ayn Rand, get it all confused and make it even worse, and then throw it into their plan. And of course, they completely ignored all the good ideas from Ayn Rand. Yes, they do exist. Like, for example, atheism and being good at math. But especially the atheism got skipped.

And that's the part we're going to talk about today. Oh, okay. I thought the good ideas were the tricking a generation of fedoras into reading 1,200 pages of bullshit. But that one's good, too. I like math and atheism. That's a fun little upshot. Yeah. Well, the new budget calls for $1 billion, with a B, $1 billion in funding for private religious schools.

The entire budget proposal is like a stupidity fractal right i mean i bet if you look at the periods under a microscope they have herbal supplement ads hidden in them yes so uh just to put this in perspective for you the request for a billion dollars is about four times larger than last year's number. And it's infinitely larger than a reasonable number. And the plan is to funnel that money into school voucher programs that give parents taxpayer money to help cover the tuition at schools of pseudoscience, pseudohistory, and legalized bigotry. Yep.

And just in case that wasn't stupid enough by itself, it is. But just in case it's not, this also helps ruin the public school system. But with a billion dollars, I guess there's plenty of money to pay for a team to go around the country to every atheist and just gently run their palm down your face and say, shh. So I guess it all balances out. Honestly, I'll just be grateful for the human contact. I'm okay with it. Okay, so I think there might be another solution here um oh in 2020 nope nope uh well okay well yes but no but no we're still beeping it all right so let's pretend for a second that this billion dollar

number is reasonable well i'm pretty sure we gave religions about 85 billion dollars in tax exemptions last year by itself so maybe they could use like 1.2 percent of that on lowering tuition maybe yeah we also gave every single corporation in america a giant tax cut and i heard that a few of them are run by christian people hey i heard a few of them are christian people very very good point can can two boy corporations have a same-sex merger these are the questions that's why we have neil gore such either way i'm thinking they could trickle down some voucher money that's the point i'm making or maybe we can use all the profits we make by rebuilding

the country with privatized adamantium and vibranium there you go and destroy the first amendment with that money just a just a few ideas off the top of my head other ways to fund that as good and in three's company Humpany News tonight, regular listeners to the show will remember earlier this month when a California judge ruled that a Christian baker had the right to discriminate against a lesbian couple because they

didn't have a penis to stick in the cake he was baking them. Much to the joy of Christian assholes everywhere. Okay, but you ever watch a lady stick her vagina into a cake, though? It's just like, it's silly most of the time. Unless she's got a really big edge.

Like, that's just not. I mean, if that's the argument, I get it. Like, that's silly. Would be the least dumb argument they'd offered up till now. Right, exactly. But it looks like not everyone is happy with those results. Like a threesome

with your wife's sister, Gordon Klingenschmitt, thinks you shouldn't even have asked. And took to the airwaves this week to express his outrage. Well, to be fair,

he couldn't stay home. Somebody huffed and puffed and blew it down. I have apologized for that. I'm ready to move on. On his show this week, Pray in Jesus' Name, the sequel to his far less popular show, Pray in Whoever's Name You Feel Like, GoCo for Show Show, said this issue is less about equality and more about three quality, saying, quote,

This lesbian couple, like so many other activists, they are not content to have their sin in private they have got to flaunt it in public and not just in any public they have got to come into the christian business owner's place of business and force them to join in a sort of perverted threesome really those demonic purveyors of sodomy are trying to force Christians to participate in them in the spirit of persecution. End quote. What? Okay, yeah, I think Gordon Klingenschmitt is missing the point. If Christian bakers are fucking straight couples in big threesomes,

they have to fuck the gay couples too. That's just basic non-discrimination. Everybody knows that. No, are you sure the guy accusing lesbians of sodomy is missing the point? Sure. And I think in that spirit, it's time to bring Gordon on for a very special edition of everyone's favorite game show, Make It Black! Hello, and welcome to Make It Black, the game show that checks to see if something should

be legal. Today, we've got a very special celebrity guest, Gordon Klingenschmidt. Gordon, welcome to the show. Thanks for having me. So, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself? Well, I'm a former Colorado State Representative and a current full-blown asshole whose show is kept alive by old people dozing in front of the TV and also a mainstream acceptance of insanity in the name of Jesus.

No, that's exactly who you are. So this week you compared baking someone a cake to forcing an unwilling participant into a threesome. Are you ready to make it black? They can do that now? No, it's the theme of our... Never mind. Are you ready to do the thing we talked about earlier?

Okay, okay. Here we go. All right. So this black couple, like so many other blacktivists... They're just called activists, like white ones. Okay, okay. They are not content to have their blackness in private. They've got to flaunt it in public and not just in any public.

They've got to come into the Christian business owner's place of business and force them to join in a sort of perverted threesome. Those demonic purveyors of blackness are trying to force Christians to participate. And in them is the spirit of persecution. Okay, so what do you think, Gordon? Uh, not much, Noah. Not much. Oh, I'm sorry. We were looking for Dear God, What Have I Become?

But thank you so much for playing. And be sure to tune in next time for Make It Black. I love that show. Yeah, right? And with yet another nugget of bigotry properly pigeonholed, we've earned a quick break. So we're going to hand things over to my lovely wife, Lucinda.

But first, a word from this week's second sponsor, Dollar Shave Club. Hey, guys. Ready for the record? Wow. Noah, you. Ready for the record? Wow. Noah, you look scraggly is the nice word. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not allowed to buy razors at the drugstore anymore. Really?

Why not? Well, you know how they keep the razors in those stupid bulletproof containers and you have to go find somebody to unlock it for you? Yes. Well, let's just say I asked nicely multiple times first. Oh, I read about this in the paper too. I remember this. But to be fair, the human rectum,

well, it seems... You got to stop doing that. You're becoming that guy with the human rectum stories? Yeah, in the paper, at least. Okay. Anyway, why not use Dollar Shave Club? Dollar Shave Club? Dollar Shave Club? Yeah, they have the best razors I've ever used.

I get an amazing, high-quality shave every morning with my Dollar Shave Club Executive Razor. Plus, they have this amazing Dr. Carver's Shave Butter. It's the best. Yeah, no, that'll work for shaving, I guess. But after this and the cantaloupe incident, I'm going to need more than just razors. That's okay, because Dollar Shave Club is more than just razors. They deliver everything you need to

look, smell, and feel your best. Shampoo, body wash, toothpaste. Oh, wow, that sounds great. Yeah, for a mind-blowing experience, you should join Dollar Shave Club today. Mind-blowing. Wait, what do you mean mind-blowing? It's in the copy.

No, give me a break. For just $5 with free shipping, you'll get the six-blade executive razor plus trial sizes of shave butter, body cleanser, and one-wipe Charlies. Then keep the blades coming for a few more bucks a month. Get yours at dollarshaveclub.com slash scathing. That at dollarshaveclub.com slash scathing.

That's dollarshaveclub.com slash scathing. Okay, but if I have to call tax support, I'm going to find the nearest cantaloupe and I'm going to shove it right in. Okay, see, this is what we were talking about. It's again... Let him finish.

Okay. A man wrote the Bible. A whore is what you want. If it's a legitimate race. A dangerous wrote the Bible. A whore is what's smart. If it's a legitimate race. If it's a slut, right? Cooking can be fun. Hey, I'm proud of a man. This week in Misogyny Talk.

You know, I call Christian leaders motherfuckers all the time. And when it all runs together, it sounds like a generic insult. But I'm being specific because of all the people they fuck, they fuck moms the hardest. It starts even before those moms are moms, of course, with their incessant battle against maternal autonomy. They fight against sex ed, they fight against contraception, and they fight against abortion. Because before you can be a true motherfucker, you're going to need a lot of mothers. And believe me, they're hard at work on this one. And if you ask Mike Pence, they're winning. Hell, you don't even have to ask him. He'll be happy to volunteer the information just

like he did at a luncheon in Nashville the other day, where he predicted that legal abortion would end in our lifetime. Notice he didn't say abortion would end, just the safe legal kind. Pence went on to slather praise on Trump and say, quote, I see more progress in the last year in the cause of life than I have seen in public policy in all my years, end quote. And look, if you set aside the bullshit cause of life euphemism, this is one of those rare moments when Mike Pence is right. Trump has been the most anti-abortion, anti-choice, anti-woman president in modern history, even when he's not grabbing anybody by the pussy. So step one is to make mothers. But if you want to be a true motherfucker, there's obviously one more step.

And while there are a ton of conservative voices that I could slot in for this example, the one raising his hand the most eagerly this week was Rick Santorum, who appeared on CNN's State of the Union a couple of days ago to place the blame for school shootings squarely where they belong, at the feet of single mothers. Desperately shifting gears from talk of gun control, Santorum mouth shat the following, quote, another debate we need to have is something that's also common in these shootings, the fact that these kids come from broken homes without dads, end quote. And he's right, that Nicholas Cruz's mom was such a slacker, she died before he shot up the place. What kind of shitty parenting is that? Now, for the record, Rick is getting this fact from the same place he keeps his frothy mix of lube and fecal matter. Kids who commit mass murder aren't any more likely to come from a one-parent home than kids who don't. Hell, both the Columbine kids came from a two-parent home.

Also, I know a lot of people who were raised by single mothers and to a person, they all never shot up their school. But hey, moms are an easier target than the gun lobby, I guess. And quick, before I start suggesting well-armed mothers, I suppose I should hand things back over to Noah, Heath, and Eli. Thank you, Lucinda. And in commissionary position news tonight, Pope Francesc Poole announced over this weekend that he would be reviving his lapsed sex abuse commission in an effort to get really serious about this not defending child rape thing with all the credibility as somebody who's definitely going to really keep the weight off this time he named a he named a series of new members to the pontifical commission for the protection of minors on saturday in a transparent

effort to shift the focus off that known child sex abuse enabler he publicly covered for just last month yeah but before they start catching the pedophiles uh that crack squad of investigators is going to need to finish looking for the guy who killed nicole brown simpson yeah right yeah exactly i'll give you a hint that guy also killed a child beauty queen that stole our hearts and haunts our minds now you might recall this ephemeral commission for collecting pogs or playing magic the gathering or something because they sure as fuck never produced any reports or made any meaningful recommendations it cropped up in the news here and there when they'd kick out abuse victims for being too whiny but it never actually did anything and then after three years of pog swap and they eventually just let the

commission lapse back in december yeah it's like hey did you guys finish protecting minors we did yeah we did finish protecting minors check it out just postal workers start bringing in giant bags of thoughts and prayers like the end of 34th street see see we crushed it yeah not so gotta say though it takes a certain kind of go-getter gusto to start a child rape commission catch nobody and then congratulate yourself on a job well done right we must not have raped any kids yeah now originally in an effort to make this panel look like a serious effort the vatican included a number of abuse victims and some well-known outspoken advocates for victims it's worth pointing out that none of them are returning for the 2.0 version of this thing not a goddamn one of the well-known advocates or anything now after three years this same panel

failed to produce anything and it was only put in place after the vatican squashed two independent investigations then then didn't allow those investigations to release their findings so in terms of stated goal I feel like their job is just going to be to tell the Pope which people he's praying with definitely covered up for child rape and which ones only probably did. And that's why we'll never do a crossover

episode with Sword and Scale. Oh Jesus Christ. Now of course we'll update you on the commission's finding right after we review that novel your aunt's been working on and in you boob news tonight in the middle of 2016 marie lopez and her niece liz johnson started their vlog about marie's successful battle against breast cancer problem was as the vlog went on they credited her recovery to her vegan diet and her faith in God. And despite the desperate

begging of her doctors and family, Ms. Lopez went on to refuse further treatment, relying instead on juice fasts and prayer to treat her cancer. Okay, well that's stupid. Like, juice fasts are better than thoughts. Like, read a book, idiot.

And it gets worse, because this week, Ms. Johnson uploaded a video not only letting us know that Ms. Lopez had passed away, but defended her decision to forego treatment, blaming instead the fact that her aunt had begun to eat meat and use the microwave.

Ah, for fuck's sake, was she microwaving her tumor? Then shut the fuck up and stop killing people when you're stupid yeah and look it is really really hard to make this funny but i did want to point it out because mari lopez started out as someone's wacky aunt and we've got wacky aunts and so like noah always says if this was the only bad thing about religion. Yeah. And finally tonight, from the Iceland dick file,

religious groups in Iceland are having a meltdown because they might not be allowed to continue chopping off pieces of baby dick and then doing whatever the fuck they do with that stuff afterwards. And then doing whatever the fuck they do with that stuff afterwards. Right? I'm guessing a quilt. Or maybe collecting pieces on fishing line like an ear necklace. Or maybe like chain link, like you can make armor. My mom kept mine with my baby teeth. As like a tiny little ring toss set.

I don't know. Maybe. All right. Well, regardless, the new bill would end the practice of circumcision unless there's a medical reason for it which seems pretty reasonable I feel like even the staunchest libertarian

can agree that regulations about dick chopping that's one of those times when it's cool you are being detained stop chopping dicks first they came for the dick choppers and i said nothing because honestly that seems like a great idea islamic centrist out there going okay okay you can still pierce them though

so uh as you might have guessed religious leaders are saying things like hey this isn't fair wouldn't that criminalize Judaism and Islam? And the very logical lawmakers who proposed the bill are saying, yes, we don't get the question. If non-medical dick chopping is a fundamental tenet of your thing, then yes, your thing is being criminalized. How is this complicated? then yes your thing is being criminalized how is this complicated and then they all took some socialized molly went swimming in hot springs and listened to bjork in their secular trip hop snow paradise first they came for the bjork listeners yeah by melting their home with greenhouse gases motherfuckers yeah so iceland is actually a super reasonable place compared to most other places in the world

including god murica no spell check on that no wow wow google gets it google gets where we're going gonna push through it so they already banned the practice of female genital mutilation in iceland back in 2005 now granted getting circumcised isn't quite the same as FGM, but the G and the M are still very valid descriptors of the process. A dude cuts off some of your dick with a knife. That's G and M. And it seems

like all forms of that sentence need to be illegal unless there's a really good reason for an exception. Like, a blank cuts off some of your blank with a blank the mad libs for that need to be illegal without a doctor's yeah right or a really good joke that follows it right all they would always have a really good joke that followed them but now that he's brought up circumcision mad libs i think we have a website to register so we'll close out the

headlines there heath eli thanks as always jumanji and when we come back we'll dance on the grave of the recently departed well maybe we could go back to my room um why no i i have a room no you know back to my room i have a room what are you talking about damn it he hey guys what's doing oh just trying to help heath pick up some tips okay well that last one was obviously confusing i have a room why don't you just go to nanocon nanocon you mean the convention put on by the nashville nuns coming up on March 17th of this year? Exactly. This year's theme is nanoconsensual, but they've got amazing talks from all kinds of speakers. There's a street epistemology workshop with Anthony Magnabosco, a how to money panel with Phil Ferguson,

and a ton of other amazing speakers and workshops about sex in the secular community. Wow. Okay. Well, those talks sound pretty good but uh i don't know how about a magic show by matt dillahunty what how dare they or an ice cream social and pizza party that's an excellent chance to meet like-minded people below the bible okay well you had me at ice cream but wait a second i i really can't afford convention tickets right now, Noah.

I don't think I'm going to be able to. Actually, tickets at the door are just $20 or less. $20 or less? I think my debit card can handle that. Well, I don't know. But can we go? I mean, I'll pay for you if we need to. No, we're not going to be able to be there.

We got to show. You promised me Matt Dillahunty. And ice cream that was mentioned. But of course, if our listeners don't want to miss out on the fun, visit NashvilleNuns.com. That's NashvilleNuns.com. Or check the show notes for this episode. I'm going to my room. Me too.

Wait. You don't live here. I'm going to Heath's room. Me too. Wait. On episode 10 of this show, my wife had the brilliant idea that we should start reading the Bible. So we did. For three fucking years.

Every three weeks for two years, we read another selection from the Old Testament, then we spent a year on the New Testament. Then we spent another year reading through the Quran, and then we spent a year reading through the Book of Mormon. And now here we are, well into our sixth year with the Abrahamic quadrilogy in the rear view, and a lot of asking, what's next? And while we've told our patrons and some other listeners, we actually haven't announced what's next on the show just yet. That's right. But before we tell you what we will be reading, we'd like to tell you what we're not going to be reading. Because as you can imagine, we got a lot of suggestions from listeners and many listeners had the exact same suggestions.

And we really appreciate our listeners and their feedback. So we thought it's only fair to start off by explaining why we're ignoring every single idea that you sent us. So to start off, we're not reading the Bhagavad Gita. So to start off, we're not reading the Bhagavad Gita. Why not, Eli? Because I cannot pronounce that word. But mostly, but aside from that,

because it's mostly a bunch of just-so stories that don't say much about the actual Hindu religion, plus our listeners don't generally need to counter apologetics for Hinduism. Also, we've made fun of all the major stories on GAM when we've done Hindu movies, so it'd mostly be

like a rehash of that. Also, we're not reading Dianetics. Dianetics. Dianetics. Dianetics. We're not reading Dianetics we're not reading dianetics

why not he? because it's one of the most boring and pointless things ever written and despite all that it doesn't have any of the really crazy Scientology stuff in it it's all just like indecipherable babbling about psychology but none of the alien overlord or

nuclear volcano stuff be like making fun of god's not dead but only doing the credits yeah we're gonna give elron's response to psychology's breakup email a pass also we're not reading the urantia book why not noah because you! That fucking thing is 2,000 pages of Kevin Spacey's seven notebooks, and I don't think any of you have your ranchions showing up at your doorstep. So, no. Well, not now that they know that the pot I put under the box is a trap. Well, right, yeah. Also, we are not reading the Doctrines and Covenants, the Hadith, or the Pearl of Great Price.

Why not, Heath? Well, while we reserve the right to returnines and Covenants, the Hadith, or the Pearl of Great Price. Why not, Heath? Well, while we reserve the right to return to those in the future, spending another entire year on Muslims or Mormons seems like overkill, especially with an audience that mostly has to deal with Christians on a day-to-day basis. Also, based on the first book in each of those religions, what kind of idiot greenlit sequels, really? Also, we're not reading the Upanishads or the Vedas. First book in each of those religions. What kind of idiot greenlit sequels, right? Also, we're not reading the Upanishads or the Vedas. Why not, Eli?

Because I can't pronounce those either. And I don't know what they are. Fair enough. And we're also not reading the Yi Qing. Oh, why not, Noah? Because we'd basically be spending a year arguing with a fortune cookie. Racist. So what are we reading?

Well, after much consideration, we elected to step away from holy books altogether this year so that we could focus on something our listeners might find more useful. After all, knowledge of the Bible is useful when you're arguing with a Christian, but they don't generally base their arguments on the Bible. They've never read it after all. And instead, they ground them in modern day bullshit apologetics in pseudo history that's right noah which is why we've chosen to spend 2018 breaking down the arguments in one of the best selling apologetics books of all time

the case for christ lee strobel now a major motion picture are we gonna say major yeah so starting next week we're gonna be following leigh strobel through his epic journey from pretending he used to be an atheist for marketing purposes all the way through making a shit ton of money by being shamefully dishonest as we counter the myriad arguments from his seminal 1998 work wait i thought you said we weren't supposed to jack off on it. How can it be seminal if I don't... Not what seminal means. Not what it means to you. So yes, sorry to disappoint you if you were hoping to do another Holy Book,

but rest assured that at least we're still suffering through something horrible. And if you want to read along, uh, why? Why do you want to read? Don't do that. Do not read along. Never read along. And now, back to the show. Back in for deals.

Hours before we were set to record last week, the news broke of Billy Graham's long overdue death. And while we didn't have time to work it into the headlines then, we'd like to make it up to the Graham family tonight by honoring Billy with our first ever son of obituary. John Bonet. Born in a farmhouse, born in a farmhouse near Charlotte,

North Carolina, November of 1918. William Franklin Graham spent several of his first hours of life alone in a room with a woman, an oversight he would never forgive himself for. And she had her vagina out first. That is the deepest. And his dick was out too. It was a traumatic moment. For the rest of his life, everything about dicks and vaginas would be terrifying to him. Yeah. He attended Bob Jones University starting in 1936, a full 40 years before the IRS would revoke about dicks and vaginas would be terrifying to him yeah i mean attended bob jones university starting in 1936 a full 40 years before the irs would revoke the school's tax exemption over their

policy of racial discrimination and a full 64 years before the school would lift its ban on interracial dating you may also know bob jones university for the ankle-length skirts of their cheerleaders right so you're saying he went to bju when it was great again yeah yeah and uh just because there was a supreme court case that started with your school's name and ended with the the united states doesn't mean your school isn't legitimate despite that case bob jones university is fully accredited by the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools Commission on Colleges. That's right.

BJ University is affiliated with Saxcock. That's a real thing. Now, a year later, Graham transferred to the Florida Bible Institute, where he was said to regularly take a canoe to a small island and preach to birds, alligators and cypress stumps. That's something he admitted to doing, byigators, and cypress stumps. That's something he admitted to doing, by the way, because Christianity is incompatible with a personal sanity filter.

It's like, would you say you're a good person? Uh, no, I'm an alligator. Fuck! After eight years in college, Grammar earned a four-year degree from Wheaton College and set off to make his name as a preacher. After digging around in a few small churches and doing a bit of evangelical radio, he was hired on as the president of the Northwestern Bible College in Minneapolis. At 30 years old, he was the youngest person to serve as the president of any U.S. college or university. Well, this was despite his less than stellar academic career.

This was despite his less than stellar academic career. And while it's often offered up as proof of his academic credentials, it's really more of a statement on how no academic credentials are needed to run a college of make-believe. Yeah, guy's got the same academic record as Dumbledore. Just sending kids who watch PG-13 movies into the forbidden forest. And just like Dumbledore, he denied his true sexuality for the rest of his life, even though he was eventually in a position to be hugely helpful to the gay community. Yeah, no, he was allowed to be in rooms with as many men as he wanted. Graham became a national figure a few years later when he was hired by the Youth for Christ movement to travel around the country scaring children into his religion. In 1949, he scheduled a series of revival meetings in and around Los Angeles that attracted a ton of media attention from Christian broadcasters with ulterior motives.

In a nod to murdering Muslims in their homes, Graham referred to these events as a crusade. Just sitting there. Say, Tim, what should we call this here preaching festival? About preaching Holocaust. Too recent. Too recent. Okay. Yeah, that was relatively recent.

How about the Taiping Prayer Festival? Not too old. Too old. Okay. I'm going to try to hit the medium here. Prayer Crusade. Crusade. I like it.

I like it. Perfect. Print the posters. Nailed it. Now, in all, Graham would conduct more than 400 of these crusades in 185 countries and all the continents that have people on them. So not Australia. No. And these things were fucking huge.

Say what you want about the guy, but he clearly knew how to work an audience. To give you an idea of how popular these things were, he did one in New York City in 1957 where he rented out Madison Square Garden and did nightly events there for 16 weeks. Jesus. Just hanging in the green room with Billy Joel. Two months, huh? Well, you keep it up, Willie. I'm sure your music will catch on. Yeah, right.

I told us in Iran, hanging out with Billy Graham. I'm just saying, it's catch. Your thing's stupid. Now, we're going to get to the really shitty parts of this guy in just a second, but I do want to offer a nod to the fact that for a white evangelical christian he was ahead of the game on civil rights in 1953 he famously tore down barricades at a revival event meant to separate black and white attendees and was one of the first prominent white preachers to regularly appear on stage with black preachers uh the aforementioned crusade in new york city

for example featured special guest martin luther king jr who graham actually posted bail for when he got locked up in birmingham credit where credit is due that is quite a black friend right yeah right that counts extra absolutely but it's a church black friend so it's not exactly the same yeah i mean i don't know what the the ratio is but either way i i bet he knew the relative impact of american slavery versus the holocaust and not everyone knows that no apparently they do not it's true despite all of that he wasn't above rubbing elbows with and even endorsing segregationists like texas governor price daniel who he continued to endorse even after mlk wrote him a come on man letter about it okay no hall pass i get five segregationists i laminated

a thing clearly price daniels won um now but despite an overall progressive record on civil rights graham was still a notorious xenophobe despite being registered as a democrat he publicly opposed the candidacy of jfk on the grounds that he was catholic and nothing else still when kennedy won he wasn't above schmoozing him. In all, Graham would meet with 12 consecutive presidents and serve as an advisor to most of them. Hell, Johnson reportedly was going to offer him a cabinet position. Which is fitting because he did so much work forcing people into closets. Yeah, right? But of his presidential interactions, perhaps none are more well-known than his Jew bashing on the Nixon tapes.

During private conversations with Nixon, he lamented the stranglehold the jews had on american media and even referred to them as the synagogue of satan which is bullshit because he knew that was the name for my heavy metal klezmer band and i had to change it so now when these tapes were made public 30 years later graham apologized and said quote these comments do not reflect my views. And I sincerely apologize for any offense caused by these remarks. End quote. Because you know how you're always saying stuff you don't believe in private and saving your real opinion for public remarks.

It's like that. Yeah. I save all of mine for Twitter. Well, I'm saying they're good at strangleholding the media. They're good. They're good at starting the wars. It's a compliment.

Look at how many they've started. It's all of them. Now, of course, Jews were not the only demographic that Graham hated. In 2012, he took out several full-page ads in local newspapers in North Carolina to throw his support behind their upcoming referendum to ban gay marriage. Okay, but again, it wasn't about bigotry. It was about protecting the dictionary industry from undue burden. Let's be respectful. This is obituary. Of course, nowhere was his bigotry more pronounced than it was in his sexism. Throughout his career, Graham

denounced feminism as, quote, an echo of our overall philosophy of permissiveness, end quote. Which is true, but he makes it sound like a bad thing, though, when he says it he firmly believed that the role of women was that of wife and mother and it is perhaps best known for the billy graham rule which states that no man should be alone with a woman that he isn't fucking lest you beguile him with her unrelenting succubus nature yeah a wacky little rule followed by the current vice president of the United States, by the way, in case we're... Which means the first time Billy Graham and Mike Pence had sex with their wives, they must have had like a spotter until the tip was in.

It's like God intended. But perhaps the greatest feat of sexism from Billy Graham was that of naming his daughter Bunny. That's real. Reflecting on his commitment to gender inequality to a Washington Post reporter, Bunny recalled, quote, I wanted to go to nursing school, but Daddy said no. No reason, no explanation, just no. It wasn't controversial and he wasn't angry,

but when he decided that was the end of it. He's forgotten that. Mother has not. Okay, but I feel like he would have said no to his son too if we're being fair he just hated all nursing now graham had a long list of accolades by the end of his life his name and appeared on gallup's list of most admired americans more than any other person he was awarded an honorary knighthood by queen elizabeth ii and a presidential medal of freedom by ronald reagan he was also inducted into the gospel music hall of fame just by not being a musician or a singer at all well he scored really big on the gospel part

zero points on the music score it's a composite yeah 500 gets in the hall of fame no okay to be fair though his acceptance performance of happy birthday not great no i should stop clapping happy in all hip-hop filter oh damn it now in all graham was uh has a marred legacy that would have looked way better if he'd had the sense to die in the early 80s but in honor of his memory the modern day leaders of the evangelical movement that he helped to found are hard at work making him look like a stellar guy in comparison and perhaps nobody excels in that field more than billy's son franklin who excels in islamophobia homophobia hindu phobia transphobia misogyny anti-semitism racism and even managed to publicly soft-pedal genocide in 2009 yeah pretty sure if your kid becomes the human embodiment of Christian hatred, it doesn't matter how many times you fist bumped MLK. Right. Yeah, that was kind of my that was

the founding principle of this essay. So with hopes that the snippets about Franklin Graham were a coming soon attraction, we'll bring our first son of obituary to a close. When will we do another? Well, that's really up to pat robertson i think and the physics of viscosity well yeah factors in hey better better hey before we flow out with the tide tonight i want to remind you one last time you can come see me in allentown pennsylvania this sund morning. We're getting awfully close to an American theocracy these days, and I'll be offering up some survival tips starting at 11 a.m. We'll have all the details on the show notes. Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you

can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show, The Skeptic Red, debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern time on Monday, an even newer episode of our sister show's hot friend, Godawful Movies, at 7 a.m. Eastern on Tuesday Monday, an even newer episode of our sister shows, hot friend, God awful movies at 7 a.m. Eastern on Tuesday and a yet newer episode of our half sister show citation needed at noon Eastern on Wednesday. And if even that's too long to wait, don't forget to like us on Facebook for bonus scatheism all week long. Obviously I'd be at risk of losing my host card. If I neglected to thank Heath Enright for his relentless pursuit of

perfection, I need to thank the lovely Lucinda illusions for making quality job one. I need to thank the lovely in his own way, Eli Bosnick for being built for tough. I sorry, dude. I thought I knew more car slogans when I started that. I also need to thank Rachel from the we're all mad here podcast for providing this week's Farnsworth quote. Incidentally, if you're looking for a deep dive into the truly insane history of insanity, you'll find a link for her show in the show notes. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's best bipeds, Merrick Fat Girl Ballet, Tankard, Kayla, Tinkerbell, Michelle, Matt, Tracy, and ByTheLake23.

Merrick Fat Girl Ballet and Tankard, who are so sexy Vladimir Putin's horse has shirtless pictures of them on its wall. Kayla, Tinkerbell, and Michelle, who Nietzsche points to when he says, See, this is what I'm talking about. And Matt, Tracy, and ByTheLake23, who are so hot, global warming denialists are using them to explain the record temperatures in the Arctic. Together, these nine noble non-believers nominally nudged up our net worth this week by giving us money. Not everybody has the intellectual and financial resources it takes to give us money, but if you do, you should. You can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingatheist, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode. Or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com.

And if you'd like to help, but all your money is tied up because it's really into bondage, you can also help us a ton by leaving a five-star review on iTunes, sharing the show on social media, or telling a friend about it. Legal services for this podcast are provided by the law offices of P. Andrew Torres and our audio engineer is Morgan Clark, who also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at skatingads.com. Morgan has a steel dossier level compilation of shit. The preceding podcast was a production of puzzle and a thunderstorm LLC copyright 2018 all rights reserved.