The Scathing Atheist - 281: Going South Edition

Episode Date: July 5, 2018

In this week’s episode, Noah opines on all the wonderful things the state of Georgia has to offer, Eli goes on a wooey sounding meditation retreat, and Seth Andrews joins us to learn there is someth...ing better than Christian rock… Christian rap. To see Gam live in London, click here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-in-london-tickets-47591873575 To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: http://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Godless-Misanthrope-Scathing-Presents-ebook/dp/B00J53FZFI/ref=sr11?ie=UTF8&qid=1396141562&sr=8-1 To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out out half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ Guest Links: Hear more from Seth Andrews on the Thinking Atheist podcast: http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/podcasts Headlines: Catholic hospitals continue lobbying for right to refuse service: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/catholic-hospitals-refuse-to-treatus5b06c82fe4b05f0fc8458db3 Greek Orthodox Church tries to distance itself from violent baptism video: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/05/27/greek-orthodox-church-dont-blame-us-for-that-viral-and-violent-baby-baptism/ Doctor claims he can cure Ebola with homeopathic sound files: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/05/29/this-doctor-is-selling-homeopathic-sound-files-he-says-will-cure-ebola/ Jim Bakker: Buy My Silver Gel Because It Will Cure “All Venereal Diseases” http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/06/23/jim-bakker-buy-my-silver-gel-because-it-will-cure-all-venereal-diseases/ Egypt gives YouTube a timeout for a month over Muhammad movie: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/05/27/egyptian-court-blocks-youtube-for-a-month-due-to-controversial-muhammad-video/ Christian Broadcaster: The Blood of Aborted Fetuses is in Our Drinking Water http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/06/23/christian-broadcaster-the-blood-of-aborted-fetuses-is-in-our-drinking-water/ This “Social-Justice Astrologer” Uses Horoscopes to Promote Liberal Activism: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/06/05/this-social-justice-astrologer-uses-horoscopes-to-promote-liberal-activism/ Libery U finances Trump movie about “Firefighter prophet” https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/liberty-university-helps-create-movie-trump-chosen-by-godus5b119d9ce4b02143b7cc6cfb

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Starting point is 00:00:24 Visitez Rakuten.ca ou téléchargez l'application Rakuten dès aujourd'hui. R-A-K-U-T-E-N Warning, the polysyllabic profanity in this episode has monosyllabic profanity wedged into it. This is Riley, the med.entomologist on Instagram and as an evolutionary biologist,
Starting point is 00:00:40 I can tell you that we did indeed evolve from filthy monkey men. It's Thursday! It's July 5th. And I'm Eli. I'm no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick.
Starting point is 00:01:13 I'm Heath Enright. I'm from New York, New York, in Secret Lair, Pennsylvania. This is The Scathing Atheist. On this week's episode, Eli won't actually be here for the intro. Heath won't be here for the intro either. So I'll have to just do it myself.
Starting point is 00:01:31 But first, the diatribe. The plan was to move to Colorado this week. See, when we first set out to turn podcast for a living into something other than an ill-informed pipe dream, it required lowering our standard of living. A lot. I moved from America's greatest and most expensive city to a rundown trailer in a nowhere town in South Georgia where the cost of living in the navels of the natives were as low as anywhere in the country. The same shithole of a city where Lucinda grew up. And as soon as this podcast started turning a buck, we got the fuck out of there. Over the years, we slowly worked our way back to civilization, and now with the leaves running out in our volcano layer here in Pennsylvania, Lucinda and I were presented with a pretty amazing choice. We could go pretty much anywhere. I mean, this is a job I can carry with me. I've got friends
Starting point is 00:02:29 all over the country. We're priced out of places like San Francisco and New York City, sure. But we could live in whatever state we wanted to, at least. So after about 18 seconds of conversation, we landed on Colorado. I've been there several times and I fucking love it. Lucinda fucking loves it. And it's not just for the legal weed, but mostly it's for the legal weed. But then while we're in the middle of house hunting and whatnot, my father-in-law was rushed to the hospital with a kidney that decided to hold out for a better contract. This coming only a couple of months after he got a double bypass. And of course, this led to my wife's prolonged absence over the last couple of months while she was down south taking care of him. and with him collecting debilitating ailments like
Starting point is 00:03:08 pokemon it became clearer and clearer that he really wasn't in a place where he'd be able to take care of himself anytime soon so our plans changed instead of the colossal mountains towering escarpments sprawling deserts breathtaking vistas and bountiful legal weed of colorado we're gonna settle for the colossal insects, towering CB antennas, sprawling Walmart super centers, breathtaking body odors, and bountiful legal discrimination against gays of South Georgia.
Starting point is 00:03:36 I'm moving back to the worst place in America on purpose. And don't get me wrong. Honestly, I'm happy to do it. Lucinda's dad is an awesome guy. He deserves to be as well taken care of in his old age as she was in her young age, but still, I'm moving to fucking Georgia. And as I settle into that new reality,
Starting point is 00:03:57 I find myself in desperate search of a silver lining other than the chrome plating on the truck nuts. And there are a few. I could rent the mall, a grocery store, in two small neighborhoods for the price of a modest two bedroom near Denver, and that's kind of nice. There are no restaurants there that Eli would eat in, so I don't have to risk wandering into one of those by accident. But best of all, I will never be short of diatribe material. You know, one of the byproducts of our return to civilization is that I'm kind of cut off from the very thing I spend every week talking about. More and more, my diatribes are about
Starting point is 00:04:29 online interactions and shit I saw on the news because that's the only place I see religion. When I lived in Georgia, I couldn't walk two miles without seeing a dozen Jesus lawn signs. But up here, I can go weeks without seeing any religious propaganda I didn't intentionally subject myself to. But in Georgia, holy shit, I'll have news stories of door-to-door missionaries and come-to-Jesus pamphleteers every week. I could tee up a golf ball in my front yard and hit three different churches with a good drive. And that's only an exaggeration because I suck at golf, but a person who was good at golf could actually do that. Every time I buy a pack of smokes, God will bless me on the way out the door. Every time I drive to town, God will stare back judgmentally from a bumper sticker. Every time I buy a pack of smokes, God will bless me on the way out the door. Every time I drive to town, God will stare back judgmentally from a bumper sticker. Every time I walk into a store, an army of red hats will implore me to make America great again.
Starting point is 00:05:14 And I'll probably just keep my Zoom recorder in the fucking car because I'll have a lot of screaming to do. And even when I'm not confronted by the overt signs of religiosity, I'll be reminded of its effect every time I turn my head and take in the endemic poverty of that little Christian hellhole. See, it's no coincidence that the list of the states from poorest to richest is almost exactly the list of states from most to least religious. Now, the religious apologists like to pretend that the correlation starts with the poverty, right? They look at that fact and they say, well, sure, when you're poor, you don't have as much control over your life,
Starting point is 00:05:46 so you tend towards a supernatural means of gaining control. And that kind of makes sense theoretically, but the math doesn't really work, right? I mean, it doesn't seem to hold for individuals. When people lose their income or go from a high to low income job, they don't have a higher tendency to suddenly find religion. When the economy collapsed in 2008, there wasn't a corresponding rise in religiosity. In fact, the trend away from religiosity actually accelerated over that point. And there's no metric of religiosity that seems to
Starting point is 00:06:15 rise and fall with economic trends, even over the long term. Of course, one could also explain that correlation with some other variables, right? I mean, the list of states from least to most educated bears a striking resemblance to both those other lists, and we know that education improves income and decreases religiosity, so it would make a lot of sense to say education is the determining factor, not religion. Of course, that would be a much stronger argument if religion didn't so often directly conflict with education. Like, the next logical question at this point is to ask like hey why are those people so uneducated to begin with and if upon looking into that you say hey look here it's a social construct that has to subvert logic to exist tells people the earth
Starting point is 00:06:55 is 6 000 years old and gets pissed off every time you start teaching kids about the fundamental theory that undergirds modern biology you might just find your culprit and and even then the education thing can't explain all of it. Outliers like California and Nevada show us that education can't be the sole link here, but it doesn't need to be. Religion has a whole quiver full of ways to depress people's economic output. They restrict access to abortion and contraception and burden people with children before they're financially prepared. They encourage parents to have more kids than they can possibly take care of financially.
Starting point is 00:07:25 They prime their parishioners for con artists other than just themselves. They use tax subsidies to suck money out of government coffers. They reinforce antiquated gender stereotypes that limit the earnings of women. They glorify poverty by listing it as a prerequisite for posthumous global inheritance. And on top of that,
Starting point is 00:07:42 they also just take their fucking money. Look, regardless of the intent of any religion, the measure of its worth is in its effect. And the effect of Christianity is a bunch of undereducated people in abject poverty giving out Jesus pamphlets in a 99% Christian community in the 104 degree heat of a Walmart parking lot. And whenever I need a shot of rage to get me through a diatribe, a quick glance at one of its victims will always be near at hand. Hell, I'll be living in one. They're talking about you, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:08:12 I interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are nobody because I'm actually moving on the day we normally record. Heath's packing up to move and Eli's on some wooey sounding meditation retreat that'll make him just as relaxed as a good book for a lot more money but
Starting point is 00:08:29 fear not over the last few weeks we've been stockpiling a few extra headlines for you so while they might not be as topical as you're used to they do have dick jokes enjoy and in murdering hypocritic oath news tonight over the the last year, the Trump administration has been pushing very hard for a series of federal regulations known as conscience rules, which would allow medical practitioners and more importantly, hospitals to refuse people care
Starting point is 00:08:54 that were against their deeply held beliefs. And as will come as a surprise to nobody who has ever heard our show before, the Catholic Church is one of the major driving forces behind these rules because they own a shit ton of hospitals and would sure love to kill some women. And kill women they have. Keeping in mind that Catholic hospitals make up one out of six hospital
Starting point is 00:09:18 beds in the United States, these laws would allow these institutions to deny women service and often life-saving health care they need if the care in question was too abortion-y. Something, I should note, they already do pretty much with impunity. Well, right, right, yeah, pretty much as long as the women don't die, they can get away with it, and they're trying to pass laws to make it easier to get away with. Yeah, and even if we catch these hospitals breaking the law, they're probably just going to get, like, secretly moved to Italy or Argentina and kill more women there. Right. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:09:51 So, next time your uncle asks you why gays can't just get their cake somewhere else, remind him that when you're fighting theocracy, the part of the road that sends women bleeding out of the door of hospitals looking for someone else to help them is behind us is back there that thing and in my big fat greek wedding news
Starting point is 00:10:13 disturbing video went viral recently and it shows a naked newborn baby getting violently dunked into a big metal bucket of water over and over by eli in a smock in what appears to be a Greek Orthodox baptism ritual. So you guys remember the scene at the beginning of The Big Lebowski when he comes home from the store? It's like that, but with Eli yelling at a baby, jamming its head into a little baby potty, going, where's the fucking money, shithead? It's very upsetting. Oh, the priest seemed only to be lacking a washboard. By the way, Thomas won't return
Starting point is 00:10:50 my phone calls, but if any of you speak to him, please let him know I thought the Lebowski reenactment photo shoot would be a nice gift for a friend. I apologize. He keeps hanging up on me. I don't know. I blocked my number. Yeah, so this video made headlines in several news sources recently.
Starting point is 00:11:06 And just to be clear, these sources aren't exactly the pantheons of journalistic integrity, mostly tabloids, but they aren't satire sites either. And according to the reports, the Greek Orthodox baptism ritual involves forcefully dunking the baby three times. forcefully dunking the baby three times. And based on the video and a few others that I looked up, which were also very upsetting, for some reason, you're supposed to flip the baby between dunks and do it very violently. Yeah, otherwise the baptism marks all go the same way. You want that chain link fence look.
Starting point is 00:11:37 Yeah. And apparently there's a belief that being weirdly violent with all the maneuvers is helping solve the problem of declining birth rates which is insane but it definitely explains these priests jamming the babies into the water like they're shoving a dick into whatever they think a vagina looks like that's what's happening in the videos i i get it i get it because if you kill the baby during the baptism it ups the birth rate right they got to get a new baby yeah right that makes perfect sense so the news about
Starting point is 00:12:12 the terrifying enhanced purgation techniques found its way to some higher-ups in the greek orthodox church and they released a statement last week in which they claimed the man in the video isn't part of their church and pointed out that their baptism is generally done by pouring water over the baby's head rather than violently dunking the baby. And if that's all true then I guess we shouldn't really
Starting point is 00:12:36 be blaming the Greek Orthodox Church but we should definitely still be blaming some church. He was in a church. And to some extent all churches for having a thing that involves submersion of a baby in not air that's stupid also if that guy's not associated with the church who the fuck is he right a pizza maker who got lost on his way to work that would explain a lot but like he just turns to mom but i did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. And in it's called whispering news tonight, ephemeral physician William Edwin Gray III may lose his medical license after promising that his homeopathic sound files can cure, among other things, Ebola.
Starting point is 00:13:25 The sound files, which you can buy now for the low, low of contact website for pricing wait the market price apparently depends if like water and acoustical vibrations are in season what the fuck does that mean you gotta fish them out of the ether every morning yeah no it's tough it's tough um so anyway and they're, quote, brief sound files with healing frequencies matched uniquely to what is unique about the tattoo. None of those words. About the details of your injury or sprain symptoms, end quote. The site goes on to point out that they have no side effects without emphasizing that that's a necessary byproduct of having no effects. May cause a guy to show up at your house,
Starting point is 00:14:06 hand you a CD, and throw a bucket of water in your face. What does that even mean? What we're saying is it's like breaking up with heat. So Gray justifies the treatment by pointing out that 36 of 37 malaria patients were cured within a few hours of using this treatment, and boy does
Starting point is 00:14:24 he wish he thought to get some kind of tangible evidence of that at the time he plans to widen the scope of his practice which conflicts with the goals of the california medical board the board recently filed a five-page complaint about gray that accused him of gross negligence and threatened to take away his medical license of course that wouldn't stop him from selling homeopathic shit so i feel like he's gonna be just fine right so the complaint is literally just that it's a complaint like why not just tweet at him i mean if we're doing what we're saying is it's uh it's like breaking up with eli
Starting point is 00:14:55 and look if i know anything about national regulation on homeopathic cures the law isn't going to do shit to this asshat that That means our only hope is market forces. So, with Flood in the Market in mind, we'd like to present the following homeopathic sound file clinically tested to cure Ebola, AIDS, cancer, swine flu, restless leg syndrome, and the summertime blues. Homeopathic sounds are not intended to cure, treat, diagnose, prevent, or intimidate any disease. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Homeopathic sounds are offered for entertainment purposes treat diagnose prevent or intimidate any disease these statements have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration homeopathic sounds are
Starting point is 00:15:25 offered for entertainment purposes only do not constitute an attorney client relationship if you experience nausea vomiting or erection lasting more than 48 hours discontinue use of homeopathic sounds immediately to homeopathic sounds could be harmful or fatal of swallowing case vaccine on ingestion please contact a physician to explain to you how that could possibly work also i've got your realize always kidding and in silver scheme fiend news tonight televangelist tv salesman and convicted felonon Jim Baker has a brand new product this week. And no matter how much you donate on Patreon, we are
Starting point is 00:15:49 not going to eat it. Well, maybe. It depends on how things work out with the bucket. We'll see. Tweety Bird in a Sigmund Freud costume's new product is a silver gel that he claims, and this is real, cures all venereal disease.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Wow. Okay, but in fairness to Jim Baker, you look like Tweety Bird's owner in a Sigmund Freud discussion for being accurate. Hey, Eli, let's hurry this story up before we have to start thinking about how Jim Baker's octogenarian listenership got VD to begin with, huh? One vote. So, here's the quote. Quote, do you know the one thing we never talk about really
Starting point is 00:16:31 is one of the few gels and products that cures, or gets rid of, all venereal diseases. This is like a miracle in a tube. End quote. Okay, don't be fooled. The flesh light does not cure VD. doesn't matter what you smear inside of that thing i've done extensive research that's not how that works uh lava stands okay but
Starting point is 00:16:55 it's still a miracle in a tube the pelvic floor is lava put it on and your dick rots off and now you don't have chlamydia there you go either way patreon goal heath will eat some of it and i really only say that because he already has but we have the video and he's not dead from it yet so might as well get some money out of it tasted like a nice ripe thermometer i would say it was pretty good moving on in distilborne news christian broadcaster rick wiles finally recovered from his latest flare up of his hair rejecting his face this week just in time for a very special episode of true news the news show that isn't lying yeah putting true in the name of your news show is like putting democratic in the name of your country or objective in your facebook posts or relationship in your open relationship it doesn't make sense boo boo so according to
Starting point is 00:17:52 wiles we finally figured out the source of the great invigorated feeling we all get we drink a nice cold glass of water turns out it's the life force of thousands of aborted fetuses whose blood is being injected into America's public water supply. I mean, if you buy into homeopathy, that's absolutely true, though. Yeah, but if you buy into homeopathy, literally everything is true. Except science. Yes. Yeah. So apparently Rick Wiles had an interesting day at some point last week.
Starting point is 00:18:24 He drank some water and turned to his wife and he was like, hey, let me ask you something. Does this taste like an aborted fetus to you? And she said, what the fuck is wrong with you? And he was like, I knew it. You're in on the scam too. So did a whole show about it on True News. All right. Similarities to how Noah writes the diatribe are a coincidence in this case. I tells you a coincidence and uh here's what wiles had to say he started by just asking questions like any good skeptic he asked quote when they slaughter a little baby in a planned parenthood baby butcher shop when when that happens where does that baby's blood go where does that baby's blood go? Where does the baby's brains and guts go? End quote.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Okay. So, lots to unpack there already. First of all, the Planned Parenthood baby butcher shop is an adorable new toy that we've been working on. But more importantly, if I thought there was a butcher shop for fetuses inside Planned Parenthood, my first question isn't about the logistics of blood cleanup. That's insane. I'm asking about the marbling. Well, obviously, I'm baffled that he's wondering about the remains categorically. Right.
Starting point is 00:19:44 Like it's like recycling there's just like hey y'all which color bin do these eight cells go is this heart you think going to red one dave for the last time those cells can go in any bin that's why we're killing the baby they go anyway make a shaky's pizza so it turns out those questions were both real and rhetorical from rick wiles because he did some research and he found some answers he answered himself quote i'll tell you where it goes oh good it goes down the drain into the sewer system and the blood of those babies is running through your town's sewer right the sewage pipes in your city are carrying
Starting point is 00:20:25 the blood the guts the brains the tissues of all the babies murdered in your city today you're actually drinking the baby's blood cannibalism period end quote well wait when you're already drinking out of the sewer it's a weird i don't think i don sewer, I don't think he knows how pipes work. Look, the baby blood wouldn't even be your biggest concern in that scenario, bro. Right? I mean, I kind of see the logic because I, too, am very, very stupid. But when you're drinking everything, right? Like, I feel you should bring up the massive amounts of poop before the baby blood.
Starting point is 00:21:03 If only as a matter of volume, you should bring up the massive amounts of poop before the baby blood. If only as a matter of volume, you should bring up the massive amounts of poop. Yeah, so, just to be clear, we do not literally throw out the baby with the bath water when we're doing abortion. And we do not infuse the public water system with dead fetuses. That's
Starting point is 00:21:19 a popular misconception. Dead baby pun. Crushed it. Misconception. That's the fuck out of it. Thank you. I didn't get it. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Yeah. Slow burner. So yeah, but the point is that would fuck up the whole plan with the fluoride. Well, right. And if you find a preemie
Starting point is 00:21:36 on top of your Brita, that was just a really good prank that wasn't filtered out. That is pretty funny. And in social justice warlock news tonight according to a recent article in rolling stone a los angeles-based liar named chani nicholas has managed to build a large following and a successful business by providing online astrology
Starting point is 00:21:58 workshops that contain a progressive political message and much like the conflicted nature of the job i also can't decide on uh this person's appearance she looks like a horse got a perm and dressed up like a woman but like like in a good way like i'm pretty sure i want to fuck this horse lady like like if the good wife was a centaur jul Julianna Margulies, centaur. Yeah, she looks like Cher was messing around with those funny filters in Photo Booth and then one of them came to life. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. No, I had Tracy Harris went to a plastic surgeon and said, give me the jigsaw. Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:36 So here's what she does. For about $40 a session, idiots can learn why planetary orientation means they should have empathy for other people and whatever the fuck else Eli's always whining about but as much as I'd love to see stupid people lose their money while learning some basic morality and as much as I'd love to blame the masterpiece cake shop ruling on
Starting point is 00:22:57 Mars being at a fucking heterosexual angle last week whatever feels like social justice astrology is still fraud and I should be against it. Let's explain why I'm against it. You guys go first
Starting point is 00:23:14 and I'll tell you. Because you hate black people. I'm pretty sure his hatred for black people is an unrelated covariance. I'm going to go with general opposition to bullshit fostered by the elemental opposition between your sun and moon signs afflicted plantarily yeah yeah so uh all right well the big question is do the ends justify the means especially considering how we
Starting point is 00:23:38 live in a nation full of tragically stupid people and one of the two major political parties is definitely working hard to get votes by appealing to all that stupidity so it seems like there's something to be said for at least making sure the stupid spiritual hippies can cancel out some votes by the stupid religious hillbillies as we all know naive leftists are completely harmless and never help cause election outcomes that are horrible and tragic so I'm sorry, Heath. I could not hear you over Jill Stein's very loud counting. I mean, the problem is the stupid, though. You can't fix stupid with different stupid.
Starting point is 00:24:17 They don't cancel out. They do not cancel out. You can still try. You can see what happens when you throw a stupid at others. I mean, it's entertaining as all fuck. Are you not entertained? Yeah, you are right maybe we have a gladiator thing okay we're getting off track we're getting off track yeah so again we have some things in common you're tall all right that's really wish is she not tall it doesn't that's not the point
Starting point is 00:24:41 she's many things i and she deserves compliments for her other great qualities whatever again we're getting off track a point is she's definitely making our camp look bad yeah like how lots of republicans probably feel about donald trump or american people feel about donald trump or human beings feel about bottom line maybe we can find a non-magical reason to believe in feeding hungry people and getting medicine for sick people and how mentioning that too many black people are getting killed by police doesn't mean we want more white people getting killed by police i feel like that shouldn't be a misunderstanding so like it's what would jesus do if he was just like a nice gay guy from palestine let's all do that. He would get shot for getting
Starting point is 00:25:25 too close to a fence. Oh, you were doing a hypothetical. Sorry, you were doing a hypothetical. The gladiator thing. No, still. Also, maybe get shot for too close to a fence back then. That's a long policy. Standing policy.
Starting point is 00:25:41 Separate conversation. Exactly. And in all Egyptgypt me news tonight the top administrative court in egypt has given our turn into puns i struggled i struggled i found one the top administrative court in egypt has given youtube a timeout and a stern talking to over their failure to censor videos that piss muslims off a also known as videos. The court ordered YouTube banned nationwide for a month and warned that further violence could result in a loss of Nintendo privileges. A spokesman for
Starting point is 00:26:12 YouTube reiterated their insistence that they wanted to be in their room anyway and that they hate stupid Egypt so much. Oh boy, Egypt. You think you hate YouTube now? You just wait until you get the full thing. Right. It's like if every other page of a really good recipe book was Mein Kampf. It's like, oh.
Starting point is 00:26:29 Okay, I don't think you're using the internet right at all. It's always like, if your browser history is the same as the Nazis, I feel like it stops being ironic at a certain point. It's like shit porn. You're a shit porn fan. it's like shit porn you're a shit porn fan now this case all got started when egyptian lawyer muhammad hamad salem got his colon all knotted up over the 2012 short movie innocence of muslims now you'll remember this 14 minute shit statement of a film that caused massive riots around the muslim world and if you're not a conspiracy theorist uh was either the instigating factor or the convenient excuse for the 2012 attack on Benghazi.
Starting point is 00:27:07 Yeah, Hillary knew about the riots. Did. Now she's just raking in those Benghazi profits. Clearly, yeah. And despite pressure from the White House to remove the video at the time, Google, YouTube's parent company, refused, noting that the video was critical of Islam, not Muslims, and therefore met YouTube standards. Yeah, i said you're all a bunch of
Starting point is 00:27:26 animals listen so fast forward five years countless riots hundreds of injuries and 50 deaths later and egypt is apparently still carrying on with this shit uh the court justified their ruling by pointing out that the video could cause riots and violence which is demonstrably true i guess and also cited its possible effect on Muslim children. You know, that wide swath of English speaking Muslim children who surf YouTube in the country where the average income is 16 bucks a day. Yeah. Quick tip for Egypt.
Starting point is 00:27:56 Might be easier to start from scratch with the Internet. Just go with the websites that don't cause. Yeah, right. Build up from the bottom up. Yeah, exactly. Google CFO ruth porat expressed grave concerns for the company's future after adjusting second quarter earning statements to reflect the loss of 1 12th of the annual egyptian youtube revenue the stock sell-off is still
Starting point is 00:28:16 underway and seems like it might be leveling off but just to be on the safe side start familiarizing yourself with somebody else's maps too no i will I will not use Apple maps. No matter how hard my iPhone makes me try. You will know you will not use them. Even if you try. And finally tonight from the God awful goofies file, Hogwarts school for bitchcraft and bigotry. Liberty university is back in the news this week for their upcoming film, the Trump prophecy,
Starting point is 00:28:42 which is about, which is about none other than his favorite tarp-inventing prophet, Mark Taylor. Mark motherfucking Taylor. Amazing. Yeah, he calls himself a fireman prophet, and instead of telling people there's going to be a fucking fire,
Starting point is 00:29:02 he invented a tool for dragging their smoldering corpses out of the fire that he knew was going to be a fucking fire he invented a tool for dragging their smoldering corpses out of the fire that he knew was going to happen and didn't say anything about yeah he's like a not great x-man so mark taylor who listeners will remember for appearing on the show only a few more times than i have is a former firefighter who received a message that donald trump would be elected president in 2012 yeah which was wrong or on a weird delay but it was a fire prediction exactly closer than the simpsons yeah either way since then he's claimed everything from the russian investigation being a psyop that he caused caused Hillary to collapse with his prayers, that Pizzagate was real, that Trump will unveil the cure
Starting point is 00:29:48 for cancer and Alzheimer's in his second term. Not yet. Yeah, right. No, he's holding it. Yeah. There's a lot. Literally, there's nothing crazy you can make up that he hasn't said. Oh, I want to play. Fun game. Okay. Pedophiles are easier to catch during the winter.
Starting point is 00:30:04 Nope. Nope. he said exactly that recently those words that was exact words pretty much uh okay uh tv screens are shooting radio waves that cause liberal dna mutations nope fuck okay yeah that's a hard game right it's like the arkham horror card game of crazy dudes you can't win it's kind of the point. I mean, the saddest part is that Donald Trump being president isn't crazier than any of the other shit. It just happened. Right? Like in a real universe that this is clearly a wacky simulation of, we're still listing it alongside the TV DNA shit and pizza gate just to round out the list. That's true. That's true.
Starting point is 00:30:42 Anyway, all of this is why he is the ideal protagonist for a film made by a university that has trouble with its students trying to walk through walls and soak up Christian energy through grades. A lot of people have asked, will we review it?
Starting point is 00:30:58 Yes. Will I love every second? Also yes. Of course. Because it's the movie version of a hobo describing another hobo's dream to you. And with that earnest effort to reintroduce the term hobo to the national lexicon, we're going to close the headlines for the night.
Starting point is 00:31:15 Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Jumanji. And when we come back, you're going to get that sad, the show's almost over feeling. Show's almost over, feeling. Eli likes to joke around on the show about us going through a fake Christian conversion and starting a Christian podcast to make more money. It's not a joke. I'm the editor. Yes, it is.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Anyway, I feel like that's a pretty good indicator that podcasting isn't a mature art form, because in mature art forms like music movies television and literature switching from the secular to the christian version never means more success and with that in mind we'd like to present yet another installment of god awful music and joining us once again is the host of the thinking atheist podcast and the author of deconverted a journey from religion to reason and sacred cows a light-hearted look at belief and tradition around the world seth andrews set Journey from Religion to Reason, and Sacred Cow's A Lighthearted Look at Belief and Tradition Around the World. Seth Andrews. Seth, welcome back to the show. Thanks for having me. It's good to be back.
Starting point is 00:32:10 Hey, man, last time you were here, you introduced us to the leather goddesses of Phobos. I think we owe you at least that. And I just want to tell you all that whatever they say about post-2000, Generation X has nothing, nothing on us. I don't ever want to hear about millennials again. I just want you to know I paid her $100,000
Starting point is 00:32:31 and asked her not to speak about it in public. I just want you to know. All right. So we're back for more Christian music. Heath, tell us, what will we be breaking down today? All right. We watched New Thang by dc talk
Starting point is 00:32:48 it's uh it's a group of white people plus one black guy just brutalizing black culture it's basically a musical version of the rodney king video that's what we watched it's a music video if rodney king was a music video it's this and eli how bad was this video well if you loved rap back when even black people weren't very good at it but you want someone even worse you will love this music video if you told me that this was this entire video was done at gunpoint i'd be like oh okay sure right sure now it makes sense now seth okay be honest even in your most devout days of worship and christian music fandom this would have annoyed the fuck out of you right absolutely absolutely i never liked this. Even when I was a true blue believer and Christian broadcaster,
Starting point is 00:33:48 I hated this song. I followed DC Talk later in the 90s, but this earlier incarnation for me, it was just the whole video screams, kick my ass and take my milk money. That's all I get from these three guys. Just kick my ass and take my money. Now, Seth, I have a very important question because we learned last time you were on the show that you wore the white suit and you had the sock tie.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Were you ever in the jumpsuit and the backwards? You have to tell us. It's like being a cop. Show me your dick, Seth. You have to. No, no, no. I never did it. But, you know, it's like being a cop show me your dick set you have to no no no i never did it i i uh but you know it's it's hard you look back at the or do the 80s qualify as oldies now oh yeah i think so
Starting point is 00:34:32 like is it 80s or is it oldies because we're getting to the point where we're approaching you know 2019 and i'm trying to figure out is it is that is our culture is that decade really oldies now i i mean no it is it is, Seth, because think about it. Like when we were kids, when our parents were 40, their shit was oldies. Our stuff is oldies now. Oh, gosh. No way around it. Hurts my heart.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Hurts my heart. My high school experience was like, everybody, look at these runt guys trying to dress like Don Johnson in Miami Vice. And think of how pathetic that is. And that's also how most men in Christian music videos dressed. It was very much the white jacket and the narrow ties. They did the piano key ties. They did the fedora, the baggy pants, the parachute pants, those types of things.
Starting point is 00:35:18 And so I was guilty of some of it, but not all. I still remember my first pair of parachute pants. I was so disappointed when i found out that all those zippers didn't actually have pockets i wore parachute pants to parachute day in kindergarten and everyone made fun of me and i thought i was crushing it that was a big changing point for me i don't want to get into it i think it's the first joke i ever made to a big group of people where they were like what and? And I was like, fuck you all. At some point, somebody looked at the material for a parachute and said, you know, I want to wear that.
Starting point is 00:35:59 Yeah, there was a lot of cocaine back then. OK, so is there anything you guys want to nominate this video for being the best at being the worst at? Yeah, okay. Started to talk about it already. Best worst cultural appropriation. They might as well be wearing Cleveland Indians mascot heads with black face over the red skin.
Starting point is 00:36:17 It's so fucking bad. I've got the best worst wearing of cross necklaces from catholic book and gifts yeah these were state issued i'm gonna go with best worst understanding of what a new thing is spoilers uh this song will realize exactly zero verses in that they are not in fact talking about a new thing no they are not oh my god and so i went i wrote out i copied out the lyrics from some website or whatever and then i went to put my notes in them and the first lyric is you know he's doing it and immediately
Starting point is 00:36:57 my note is boy that's the quickest i've ever hated anything okay so now we're gonna mostly be talking about the lyrics since the last time we talked a lot about the video because the video was telling a story in this one the video is just white people bouncing right yep white people bouncing and then obviously checking in with their black friend for a thumbs up and then bouncing can we please use the n word we'll put the a at the end no no man i said can you say it for us still no so what if we dub it in but it's you you're the one yeah it's so bad it's just a montage of like stuff the kids like that's supposed to be cool yeah with the word god every two seconds spliced in so it's like baseball god God. Sneakers. God. Black friend.
Starting point is 00:37:45 God. It's just terrible. And by the way, okay, so this is another great 80s reference that nobody will get. But they're all dancing like Mr. Hot Dog from Burger Time. No? I got to Google that now. Mr. Hot Dog. Wait, I'm afraid to Google Mr. Hot Dog.
Starting point is 00:38:04 Yeah, right, right. It's like Blue Waffle. mr hot dog wait i'm afraid to google mr hot dog yeah right right oh the guy who introduced us to leather goddesses doesn't want to google ain't it always the way it's all fine when it's your kink if i had known sitting in that steakhouse i was sitting across from a leather goddess player so we should also point out okay so like they're making these really ridiculous efforts to to make these kids look hard right they're like oh put us up behind a chain link fence it'll make us look street yo oh a good percentage of these lyrics are god challenging us to a fight just so we know how tough these people
Starting point is 00:38:42 are yeah it's got it's got an electric boogaloo kind of vibe even though they did a lot of black and white it's got that same sort of um i don't know it's like kind of a street rap video mixed with a really bad mentos commercial actually all the commercials are really bad but it's like you know it's this weird mix of edgy hard and also like extremely blissful and happy at the same time. It's two tones that completely clash and don't work. Well, and also they're trying to do all the hip-hop dance moves, but they don't have the skill for it, so it's like hip-hop meets
Starting point is 00:39:11 the hokey pokey, you know? So, okay, so then we get white people rapping, which is as good as you expect. He goes, my god is doing a brand new thing, but since time began, he remains the same, you know? Which would seem to indicate that he's not doing a brand new thing but since time began he remains the same you know which uh would seem to indicate that he's not doing a new thing damn it damn it one second do you guys want to call it
Starting point is 00:39:35 old thing because i feel like we already wrote that verse now he carries on from harp to piano and song to rap. You know, God's with us. So we cannot lack. That's to rhyme with rap, guys. That's the best they could do. And then that's a hard one. App. What? What's that?
Starting point is 00:39:58 Oh, I got the clap again. Yeah. But we can't keep talking about that, though. So then we get the chorus again. God is doing it. God is doing a new thing. We also learned at the end of this course that they, too, are doing a new thing. Right.
Starting point is 00:40:14 And this is where the only African-American who will be allowed to speak in the music video comes in with a through Jesus Christ in a separate continent separate continent right he's all by himself they were they obviously approached some black singer and they were like yeah so this is the whole video and the guy was like no and we're in a fist fight now so they just hired another guy and they were like we literally just need to sing through jesus christ and he was like okay i mean that's how are you guys gonna use it don't worry about it all right how bad could it be that by the way is the lead singer from the newsboys that is michael tate oh is it yep oh michael tate is the black guy from dc talk wow i've never been more happy and wait the same band that finishes all the god's not dead movies that is correct sir yeah that's the one who looks like the predator now yeah no the guy's Not Dead movies. That is correct, sir. The guy who looks like the Predator now.
Starting point is 00:41:05 Yeah, he does look like Predator. God is, once again, doing a new thing. Also, this is where they take claim of that new thing. God is doing a new thing through our music. We're doing a new thing so he can use it.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Music, use it. Anyway, God's using this music and we're coming strong. DC talking, often singing a song. Not always, though. Sometimes just ordering a pizza. To make you think twice about the way that you live. And he can let you know Christ is the one that'll give. Okay, so about halfway through the recording michael tate
Starting point is 00:41:48 clearly explained how black people use lots of contractions and apostrophes because like until this point they're trying to rap like whilst enunciating every single syllable and using the subjunctive would that we would but now but now they go way overboard the other direction because he explains that so everything's like new speaky bonics now it's so stupid so yeah he says uh the christ is the one that'll give peace in your heart a new start call on the lord and he'll do his part a brand new thing to your raggedy walk he might just match it up to that big old talk okay anyone else feel like they were being challenged to a fight by god's hype man at this point i feel like something got fucked up here
Starting point is 00:42:41 and god's like wasn't on me that's what i'm hearing i'm really curious seth how did you introduce this song when you played it were you like and now this for a second and now for something completely different i don't really remember it i you know i know we did play it uh on on the radio bit. Of course, this was considered too edgy for daytime airplay. What? Is that really? Yeah. Little grannies are like, no, Fang, I'm sorry, Seth, but that's just too much for me.
Starting point is 00:43:16 I'm in for praising the Lord, but there's a ways and a means. They changed the I to an A in Fang, and it's wrong. Messed up my crossword puzzle. During the day was all the safe stuff for the go-to-work adults. And then, you know, this type of anything that incorporated rap, which anything, anything that had rap was put on the evening and overnight playlist. And so we didn't even play the thing during the day because at that time in that culture in the the church it was considered too edgy for daytime airplay in christian radio so wait so wait so edgy was not a product of the lyrics it was the product of sounding black it was well well i mean you're looking at a culture that's got a an olympic gold and hypocrisy so there's a hundred reasons
Starting point is 00:44:03 why somebody would move something to another time zone but at that point in christian music anything rap was considered not mainstream and so they're like well you know the kids like it and so they would shuffle it off out of the mainstream playlist during the day and and uh so that's that was the excuse anyway uh follow-up question and this is for all the older members. Keith was born in 1983. I was born in 1987. Noah, Seth, you were born in 1923.
Starting point is 00:44:31 When did the world learn to dance? Because if I can look at a music video and do all the dancing in it, I feel like it wasn't. When did we really nail dancing? You don't dance in the church. You don't dance. It's liturgical movement. It's a dance in the church. You don't dance. It's liturgical movement. It's a move of the spirit.
Starting point is 00:44:48 You don't dance. They definitely weren't dancing. I'm with you there. It was amazing. Like, honestly, it feels like Michael Tate was winning a bet with his black friends about what, like, fake hip-hop dance moves he could make up and get these white guys to do. Like, how ridiculous he could make up and get these white guys to do like how ridiculous he could make it like because now they're just doing like ballet moves from fantasia they're playing leapfrog they're like miming a canoe ride it's the best he definitely tricked him into doing a
Starting point is 00:45:17 bunch of shit so all right so now it's our time to get to the hardcore rhyme here christ is the reason for dc talk gee i wonder what lin-manuel miranda's gonna rhyme here. Christ is the reason for DC talk. Gee, I wonder what Lin-Manuel Miranda's going to rhyme talk with. He's the focus of our daily walk, y'all. Oh, you had it. Just cut it. Without him, we ain't nothing but
Starting point is 00:45:37 names, but through God, we're doing brand new thang. River Thames. Alright, and I have to ask, Heath, as a Yankees fan, which was worse, watching the white dude dancing around in this video wearing
Starting point is 00:45:55 the Yankees jersey or the 2004 LCS? We don't talk about that on the show. So that was worse. Okay, just curious. And then we get the endless chorus, which, by the way, is still going on in my head. We have watched two and a half hour Christian movies significantly shorter in experience
Starting point is 00:46:17 than this three minute video. I was pausing. I was cleaning the house, texting old girlfriends. Anything but this. All right. Well, Seth, I know this fucking song is still stuck in my head. I would imagine you've got the same problem.
Starting point is 00:46:34 So I appreciate you suffering alongside us once more. No, it's a real joy. I mean, this is, I mean, I'm kind of a masochist anyway. But I mean, it's interesting, too. If you go back and you Google like Christian rappers of the 80s and 90s they were all got like dc talk stands for decent christian decent christian talk that's what that was spelled there's some a bunch of is that real yeah that's real and then there's like there's doc which stands for disciples of christ there was actually a christian rap group called grips g- G-R-I-T-S.
Starting point is 00:47:06 I shit you not. Acronym? Yeah, Grammatical Revolution in the Spirit. Yes! Yes! We got to figure out a gravy for them too. Heath's just surrounded by charts for the next month. The next time you see Heath,
Starting point is 00:47:24 he's going to be like i have haberdashery nothing as cool as mr hot dog but they did have grits back in the 1980s 1990s no this is a lot of fun i it's a blast from the past it's always embarrassing i've always got a blush on my face when we go through this stuff but it's i i find it liberating you take all this insanity and you realize what a cheap knockoff it is of the quality stuff over here in the secular world and you and you realize that you they're thinking why why create uh mediocrity when you can copy genius right and so that's exactly what they're doing instead of being original let's go find what's popular let's grab it make a cheap ass version of it and go out and try to sell it as our own well and what's so
Starting point is 00:48:04 amazing about doing this is that we get to kind of double up on that because it's like a cheap-ass version of it and go out and try to sell it as our own. Well, and what's so amazing about doing this is that we get to kind of double up on that because it's like a cheap knockoff version of stuff that's just horrible from the 80s to begin with. It's like Mormonism. Well, Seth, thanks again for hanging out. My pleasure, guys. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:48:34 It's time for the part of the show that comes next, listener feedback. This is the part of the show that still exists. See? It's still here. Okay, so our first message comes in the form of a one-star review on iTunes. Fuck you. By Living Phil, titled, Silence on Race Realism is Immoral.
Starting point is 00:48:53 In his review, he says, oh, it's so good. In his review, he says, quote, was a fan at one time, but their absolute refusal to call out Sam Harris on his year-long defense of Charles Murray is detestable. These are people who feel morally superior to Mother Teresa, but they're more than happy to remain silent as a leader of
Starting point is 00:49:17 their movement says the only plausible reality is one where black people are genetically inferior to whites. And you know what? End quote. I marked his review as not helpful for his refusal to call out Pol Pot during his review. What do you have against Cambodian peasants, asshole? Phil.
Starting point is 00:49:36 Phil, as the wokest bae on our program, let me break this down for you. Firstly, we have addressed the claims of Charles Murray on this show multiple times, both seriously and as passing jokes. And if you were a fan at one time, you weren't. You'd have fucking heard that. No, what you saw was a comment on a Facebook from an idiot who also doesn't listen to our show. And you decided a one-star review would be a great way to show us what for also you look i don't listen to sam harris's show but i'm gonna go out on a limb here and i'm gonna say that sam
Starting point is 00:50:11 harris didn't say that quote the only plausible reality is one where black people are genetically inferior to whites end quote i'm gonna bet a fucking ham sandwich that phil can't bring me that audio and by the way that's not a defense of sam harris so much as an admission from phil that he can't even make the thing that we didn't do that he thinks we do sound bad without making shit up hold on real quick you're gonna bet a ham sandwich a ham like is that a standard betting like a whole like a standard ham sandwich i mean look when you're almost eating a ham sandwich, it's worth a lot more than it is when you're buying a ham sandwich, right?
Starting point is 00:50:48 Exactly. Almost to your... All right, now I really want a ham sandwich. See? We're talking about it. Well, Phil's going to owe you one. Well, yeah, I was going to say, you've got to just bring me some racist Sam Harris audio,
Starting point is 00:50:59 and you're good. All right, so if you're asking why we haven't debunked the bell curve specifically on our show. Well, we're going to do that after Case for Christ. It's because we're an atheism show. Right. And debunking every right wing policy wonk who wrote a pseudoscientific universally panned piece of garbage in the 90s doesn't really fall into the atheism category and perhaps we don't want to give attention to this bullshit specifically and
Starting point is 00:51:32 especially when as your review indicates some of our community might be falling for it right but but that's not what you meant phil see what you meant is why haven't we dedicated our atheism show to fighting sam harris exactly and i and you know what i can understand why you'd ask that a lot of atheist podcasts have dedicated themselves exclusively to sort of in community discussion at this point and i like some of those shows but that's not our show what we do on this show is we fight theocracy on this show and despite the popular belief we are not obligated to personally disprove and address every dumbass thing every non-god-believing person says or does no matter how popular they might be also you know i'm sorry like the internet is vast but if i have to bitch about all the people I don't like, there's going to be no room left for Netflix and it'll be your fault.
Starting point is 00:52:29 Yeah, can verify, can verify. And Phil, I'll tell you why we don't do the like, hey, this is who we disagree with. Right. Because right now there's a 19 year old kid who like just escaped their religion, who's listening to us for the first time. Or as we found out, there are like 54 year old dudes who used to be preachers listening to us for the first time. Or as we found out, there are like 54-year-old dudes who used to be preachers listening to us for the first time. And they're being told they're not alone in being an atheist for the first time. They're being told that like, we know religion's bullshit too. And for the first time, and for the first time, they're tuning into our show and we're saying like, don't worry guys. And you're like, you should announce that the church bitches and bigots are there too.
Starting point is 00:53:04 Here's our enemy list. And when we do that, that person feels more alone, more afraid, and we don't get to teach them by example. Because honestly, Phil, if you used to be a fan, if you've heard so much of our show, is there any chance that someone could listen to our show and be unclear about our position on the motherfucking bell curve right thank you sir also just fun quick story about the bell curve in my life we went to a live show last year and somebody as a joke gave me a copy of the bell curve like here's a copy of the bell curve somehow your character persona got turned into a racist over
Starting point is 00:53:50 the course of the show i don't know what happened you're irish okay fair well he gave i got that as a joke as a gag gift and then i had to bring it through airport security oh wow and i had to open my bag because like i put like an electronics thing in my bag and it was an african-american gentleman who happened to open up my bag and be like is this your bag and the bell curves right on top and i was like it's uh it's a joke i ironically carry around a really large book in my suitcase he's the first person to be like i did not pack my own there's a bomb in there just set that one on fire and also by the way for what it's worth i know this is a minor part of the review but i've never tortured children or withheld medicine from sick
Starting point is 00:54:41 people because pain helps them get closer to god okay if i had an autographed copy of the bell curve that i used to whack black kids in the head until they forgot their multiplication tables i'd still be a better person than mother theresa it's true i mean i still think you should stop trying to set that up in a live show but it is true all right we also had an email from a listener named samantha hey guys love your shows great start i was thinking about getting a scathing atheist tattoo and i was wondering what you guys think would that freak you out it would in a very positive way we're freaking out also what should I get for the tattoo and where would you suggest that I get it? Wow, you asked us that.
Starting point is 00:55:28 Great idea, Samantha. And by the way, that is the only one of two getting a scathing atheist tattoo emails that we got this week. So, hey, Natalie, go for it. We love it. Yes! Do it! Okay, so logo is preferred because someday you'll regret it and you'll be able to just be like, it's a band I liked, but if you want to go
Starting point is 00:55:47 all out, I'm going to say a full-size replica of my face on your face. Yes, your face! Alright, and maybe, okay, so sad Eli on the back of your face, happy Heath on the front of your face.
Starting point is 00:56:02 You can tell people how you're feeling. Get all the untrue jokes I've written tattooed on your back about heath so like he's eating ramen well i eat ramen i just feel like it's not a it's not a defining characteristic of me as a person wow i gotta show gotta be honest guys great job i when i saw this email i was thinking that samantha was gonna get much worse advice maybe you get a graph of the intelligence of black people and white people oh god uh if she's a listener to our show we know she already has that tattoo phil pointed it out phil called us out he knows also racists love our show also i'm gonna jump out of the uh script that we've got here too
Starting point is 00:56:46 because i wanted to mention this a listener got in touch with me uh the other day and said that i believe it was the skeptic right they were listening to and they had a pre-roll ad on there for a like baby homeopathic remedy or something um and i want to make it clear to the listeners like look the the pre-roll ads the ads that you hear before the show starts those are dynamically inserted based on like your location what they know of your age gender buying habits and whatever uh so there's there's like a bazillion different advertisers that use that so we can't actually go through and say these are the advertisers we approve but what we can do is say these are the advertisers that we never want to see again so if you ever hear an ad like that uh just let us know the name of the company,
Starting point is 00:57:25 the name of the brand that's being advertised, and we'll get the fuck rid of it immediately, which is what we did with the baby homeopathy. It was Mark Zuckerberg's fault. Yeah, exactly. It's all Zuckerberg. Also, great little moment that we had with our thing, because we have the, like,
Starting point is 00:57:37 don't know fake medicine thing as a category. We're like, we don't want any alternative medicine. So the way they got through that filter for us is that it's medicine other. It's not alternative medicine. It's medicine other. So I was like, okay, we're not doing medicine other. Is there anything else I need to know?
Starting point is 00:57:55 Just no medicine. No one's going to find out about medicine. Just Old Navy ads. You're all getting Old Navy ads. And 1-800-CARS-FOR-KIDS, apparently. Oh, that's what I get every time. And that's all the feedback you're going to get. If you want more, keep sending us those emails, tweets, and one-star reviews. We fucking love those.
Starting point is 00:58:12 Don't. Don't. They show us. The contact page at skatingatheist.com. Before we return the moving truck this week, I want to let everybody know that we've just announced another live record for Godawful Movies, this time in beautiful London, England. We're going to be there on October 6th.
Starting point is 00:58:36 That's a Saturday night. We'd love to see you there. We're doing a platinum night viewing the night before. Tickets to both are still available and linked on the show notes. Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight, but we'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show, The Skeptocrat,
Starting point is 00:58:50 debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern time on Monday, an even newer episode of our sister show's hot friend, Godawful Movies, debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern on Tuesday, and an even newer episode of our half-sister show, Citation Needed, debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, I couldn't hold my head high in the Coliseum anymore if I neglected to thank Heath Enright for years of being Earth's most considerate roommate and also for helping me move that goddamn fold-out couch.
Starting point is 00:59:08 I also want to thank the lovely and talented Lucinda Lutions, who's super sorry that as soon as she got back here to do a twim, she had to skip another week because of the move. She'll be back next week, promise. And I also want to thank Eli in advance for not rage-quitting over all the shit I'm going to give him for this meditation retreat thing. I also want to thank Instagram's very own RileyTheMed.Animologist for providing this week's Farnsworth quote, quite possibly the most qualified person to send one in yet. But most of all, of course, I need to thank this week's best people. But unfortunately, I can't do it by name because I have to record this outro way in advance this week. But I promise to sufficiently talk up your junk next week. And if you'd like your genitals complimented alongside theirs, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash scathing atheist, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad free version ofed alongside theirs, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingatheist,
Starting point is 00:59:45 whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode. Or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the Donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com. And if you'd like to help but you need all your spare change if you're ever going to make it to the quarter-snapping championships, you can also help us a ton by leaving us a five-star review on iTunes, liking our Facebook page, and telling a friend about the show. Legal services for this podcast are provided by the Law Offices of P. Andrew Torres. Tim Robertson takes care of our social media, and our audio engineer is Morgan Clark. We also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission.
Starting point is 01:00:09 If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at skatingatheist.com. Fuck you, Phil. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle & Thunderstorm LLC. Copyright 2018. All rights reserved.

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