The Scathing Atheist - 281: Going South Edition
Episode Date: July 5, 2018In this week’s episode, Noah opines on all the wonderful things the state of Georgia has to offer, Eli goes on a wooey sounding meditation retreat, and Seth Andrews joins us to learn there is someth...ing better than Christian rock… Christian rap. To see Gam live in London, click here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-in-london-tickets-47591873575 To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: http://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Godless-Misanthrope-Scathing-Presents-ebook/dp/B00J53FZFI/ref=sr11?ie=UTF8&qid=1396141562&sr=8-1 To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out out half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ Guest Links: Hear more from Seth Andrews on the Thinking Atheist podcast: http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/podcasts Headlines: Catholic hospitals continue lobbying for right to refuse service: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/catholic-hospitals-refuse-to-treatus5b06c82fe4b05f0fc8458db3 Greek Orthodox Church tries to distance itself from violent baptism video: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/05/27/greek-orthodox-church-dont-blame-us-for-that-viral-and-violent-baby-baptism/ Doctor claims he can cure Ebola with homeopathic sound files: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/05/29/this-doctor-is-selling-homeopathic-sound-files-he-says-will-cure-ebola/ Jim Bakker: Buy My Silver Gel Because It Will Cure “All Venereal Diseases” http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/06/23/jim-bakker-buy-my-silver-gel-because-it-will-cure-all-venereal-diseases/ Egypt gives YouTube a timeout for a month over Muhammad movie: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/05/27/egyptian-court-blocks-youtube-for-a-month-due-to-controversial-muhammad-video/ Christian Broadcaster: The Blood of Aborted Fetuses is in Our Drinking Water http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/06/23/christian-broadcaster-the-blood-of-aborted-fetuses-is-in-our-drinking-water/ This “Social-Justice Astrologer” Uses Horoscopes to Promote Liberal Activism: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2018/06/05/this-social-justice-astrologer-uses-horoscopes-to-promote-liberal-activism/ Libery U finances Trump movie about “Firefighter prophet” https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/liberty-university-helps-create-movie-trump-chosen-by-godus5b119d9ce4b02143b7cc6cfb
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Warning, the polysyllabic profanity
in this episode has monosyllabic profanity
wedged into it.
This is Riley, the med.entomologist on Instagram
and as an evolutionary biologist,
I can tell you that we did indeed evolve
from filthy monkey
men.
It's Thursday!
It's July 5th.
And I'm Eli.
I'm no illusions.
I'm Eli Bosnick.
I'm Heath Enright.
I'm from New York, New York,
in Secret Lair, Pennsylvania.
This is The Scathing Atheist.
On this week's episode,
Eli won't actually be here for the intro.
Heath won't be here for the intro either.
So I'll have to just do it myself.
But first, the diatribe. The plan was to move to Colorado this week.
See, when we first set out to turn podcast for a living into something other than an ill-informed pipe dream, it required lowering our standard of living.
A lot.
I moved from America's greatest and most expensive city to a rundown trailer in a nowhere town in South Georgia where the cost of living in the navels of the natives were as low as anywhere in the country.
The same shithole of a city where Lucinda grew up. And as soon as this podcast started turning a buck,
we got the fuck out of there. Over the years, we slowly worked our way back to civilization,
and now with the leaves running out in our volcano layer here in Pennsylvania, Lucinda and I were
presented with a pretty amazing choice. We could go pretty much anywhere. I mean, this is a job I can carry with me. I've got friends
all over the country. We're priced out of places like San Francisco and New York City, sure. But
we could live in whatever state we wanted to, at least. So after about 18 seconds of conversation,
we landed on Colorado. I've been there several times and I fucking love it. Lucinda fucking loves it. And
it's not just for the legal weed, but mostly it's for the legal weed. But then while we're in the
middle of house hunting and whatnot, my father-in-law was rushed to the hospital with a kidney that
decided to hold out for a better contract. This coming only a couple of months after he got a
double bypass. And of course, this led to my wife's prolonged absence over the last couple of months
while she was down south taking care of him. and with him collecting debilitating ailments like
pokemon it became clearer and clearer that he really wasn't in a place where he'd be able to
take care of himself anytime soon so our plans changed instead of the colossal mountains towering
escarpments sprawling deserts breathtaking vistas and bountiful legal weed of colorado
we're gonna settle for the colossal insects,
towering CB antennas,
sprawling Walmart super centers,
breathtaking body odors,
and bountiful legal discrimination against gays of South Georgia.
I'm moving back to the worst place in America on purpose.
And don't get me wrong.
Honestly, I'm happy to do it.
Lucinda's dad is an awesome guy.
He deserves to be as well taken care of in his old age
as she was in her young age,
but still, I'm moving to fucking Georgia.
And as I settle into that new reality,
I find myself in desperate search of a silver lining
other than the chrome plating on the truck nuts.
And there are a few.
I could rent the mall, a grocery store, in two small neighborhoods for the price of a modest two bedroom near Denver,
and that's kind of nice. There are no restaurants there that Eli would eat in, so I don't have to
risk wandering into one of those by accident. But best of all, I will never be short of diatribe
material. You know, one of the byproducts of our return to civilization is that I'm kind of cut
off from the very thing I spend every week talking about. More and more, my diatribes are about
online interactions and shit I saw on the news because that's the only place I see religion.
When I lived in Georgia, I couldn't walk two miles without seeing a dozen Jesus lawn signs.
But up here, I can go weeks without seeing any religious propaganda I didn't intentionally
subject myself to. But in Georgia,
holy shit, I'll have news stories of door-to-door missionaries and come-to-Jesus pamphleteers every week. I could tee up a golf ball in my front yard and hit three different churches with a good drive.
And that's only an exaggeration because I suck at golf, but a person who was good at golf could
actually do that. Every time I buy a pack of smokes, God will bless me on the way out the door.
Every time I drive to town, God will stare back judgmentally from a bumper sticker. Every time I buy a pack of smokes, God will bless me on the way out the door. Every time I drive to town, God will stare back judgmentally from a bumper sticker. Every time I walk into a store, an army of red hats will implore me to make America great again.
And I'll probably just keep my Zoom recorder in the fucking car because I'll have a lot of
screaming to do. And even when I'm not confronted by the overt signs of religiosity, I'll be
reminded of its effect every time I turn my
head and take in the endemic poverty of that little Christian hellhole. See, it's no coincidence that
the list of the states from poorest to richest is almost exactly the list of states from most to
least religious. Now, the religious apologists like to pretend that the correlation starts with
the poverty, right? They look at that fact and they say, well, sure, when you're poor,
you don't have as much control over your life,
so you tend towards a supernatural means of gaining control.
And that kind of makes sense theoretically, but the math doesn't really work, right?
I mean, it doesn't seem to hold for individuals.
When people lose their income or go from a high to low income job,
they don't have a higher tendency to suddenly find religion.
When the economy
collapsed in 2008, there wasn't a corresponding rise in religiosity. In fact, the trend away from
religiosity actually accelerated over that point. And there's no metric of religiosity that seems to
rise and fall with economic trends, even over the long term. Of course, one could also explain that
correlation with some other variables, right? I mean, the list of states from least to most educated bears a striking resemblance to both those other lists, and we
know that education improves income and decreases religiosity, so it would make a lot of sense to
say education is the determining factor, not religion. Of course, that would be a much stronger
argument if religion didn't so often directly conflict with education. Like, the next logical
question at this point is to ask like
hey why are those people so uneducated to begin with and if upon looking into that you say hey
look here it's a social construct that has to subvert logic to exist tells people the earth
is 6 000 years old and gets pissed off every time you start teaching kids about the fundamental
theory that undergirds modern biology you might just find your culprit and and even then the
education thing can't explain all
of it. Outliers like California and Nevada show us that education can't be the sole link here,
but it doesn't need to be. Religion has a whole quiver full of ways to depress people's economic
output. They restrict access to abortion and contraception and burden people with children
before they're financially prepared. They encourage parents to have more kids than they can possibly
take care of financially.
They prime their parishioners for con artists
other than just themselves.
They use tax subsidies to suck money out of government coffers.
They reinforce antiquated gender stereotypes
that limit the earnings of women.
They glorify poverty by listing it as a prerequisite
for posthumous global inheritance.
And on top of that,
they also just take their fucking money.
Look, regardless of the intent of any religion, the measure of its worth is in its effect. And the effect of Christianity
is a bunch of undereducated people in abject poverty giving out Jesus pamphlets in a 99%
Christian community in the 104 degree heat of a Walmart parking lot. And whenever I need a shot
of rage to get me through a diatribe, a quick glance at one of its victims
will always be near at hand.
Hell, I'll be living in one.
They're talking about you, Jesus.
I interrupt this broadcast
and bring you a special news bulletin.
Joining me for headlines tonight are nobody
because I'm actually moving
on the day we normally record.
Heath's packing up to move
and Eli's on some wooey sounding
meditation retreat that'll make him just as relaxed as a good book for a lot more money but
fear not over the last few weeks we've been stockpiling a few extra headlines for you so
while they might not be as topical as you're used to they do have dick jokes enjoy and in murdering
hypocritic oath news tonight over the the last year, the Trump administration has been pushing very hard
for a series of federal regulations
known as conscience rules,
which would allow medical practitioners
and more importantly, hospitals
to refuse people care
that were against
their deeply held beliefs.
And as will come as a surprise to nobody
who has ever heard our show before,
the Catholic Church
is one of the major driving forces
behind these rules because they own a shit ton of hospitals and would sure love to kill some women.
And kill women they have. Keeping in mind that Catholic hospitals make up one out of six hospital
beds in the United States, these laws would allow these institutions to deny women service and often
life-saving health care they need if the care in question was too abortion-y. Something, I should note, they already do
pretty much with impunity. Well, right, right, yeah, pretty much as long as the women don't die,
they can get away with it, and they're trying to pass laws to make it easier to get away with.
Yeah, and even if we catch these hospitals breaking the law, they're probably just going to
get, like, secretly moved to Italy
or Argentina and kill more women
there. Right. Exactly.
So, next time your uncle asks you
why gays can't just get their cake somewhere
else, remind him that when you're
fighting theocracy, the part of the road that
sends women bleeding out of the
door of hospitals looking for someone
else to help them is behind
us is back there that thing and in my big fat greek wedding news
disturbing video went viral recently and it shows a naked newborn baby getting violently dunked into
a big metal bucket of water over and over by eli in a smock in what appears to be a Greek Orthodox baptism ritual.
So you guys remember the scene at the beginning of The Big Lebowski when he comes home from the store?
It's like that, but with Eli yelling at a baby, jamming its head into a little baby potty, going, where's the fucking money, shithead?
It's very upsetting.
Oh, the priest seemed only to be
lacking a washboard.
By the way, Thomas won't return
my phone calls, but if any of you speak to him,
please let him know I thought the Lebowski
reenactment photo shoot would be a nice gift
for a friend. I apologize.
He keeps hanging up on me.
I don't know. I blocked my number.
Yeah, so this video made
headlines in several news sources recently.
And just to be clear, these sources aren't exactly the pantheons of journalistic integrity, mostly tabloids, but they aren't satire sites either.
And according to the reports, the Greek Orthodox baptism ritual involves forcefully dunking the baby three times.
forcefully dunking the baby three times.
And based on the video and a few others that I looked up,
which were also very upsetting,
for some reason, you're supposed to flip the baby between dunks and do it very violently.
Yeah, otherwise the baptism marks all go the same way.
You want that chain link fence look.
Yeah.
And apparently there's a belief that being weirdly violent
with all the maneuvers is helping solve the problem of
declining birth rates which is insane but it definitely explains these priests jamming the
babies into the water like they're shoving a dick into whatever they think a vagina looks like
that's what's happening in the videos i i get it i get it because if you kill the baby
during the baptism it ups the
birth rate right they got to get a new baby yeah right that makes perfect sense so the news about
the terrifying enhanced purgation techniques found its way to some higher-ups in the greek
orthodox church and they released a statement last week in which they claimed the man in the video
isn't part of their church
and pointed out that their baptism is generally
done by pouring water over the baby's head
rather than violently dunking
the baby. And if that's all true
then I guess we shouldn't really
be blaming the Greek Orthodox Church
but we should definitely still be blaming
some church. He was in a church.
And to some extent all churches for having
a thing that involves submersion of a baby in not air that's stupid also if that guy's not associated with
the church who the fuck is he right a pizza maker who got lost on his way to work that would explain
a lot but like he just turns to mom but i did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
And in it's called whispering news tonight, ephemeral physician William Edwin Gray III may lose his medical license after promising that his homeopathic sound files can cure, among other things, Ebola.
The sound files, which you can buy now for the low, low of contact website for pricing wait the market price apparently depends if like water and acoustical vibrations are in season what
the fuck does that mean you gotta fish them out of the ether every morning yeah no it's tough
it's tough um so anyway and they're, quote, brief sound files with healing frequencies matched uniquely to what is unique about the tattoo.
None of those words.
About the details of your injury or sprain symptoms, end quote.
The site goes on to point out that they have no side effects without emphasizing that that's
a necessary byproduct of having no effects.
May cause a guy to show up at your house,
hand you a CD, and throw a bucket
of water in your face.
What does that even mean? What we're saying is
it's like breaking up with heat.
So Gray justifies the treatment by pointing
out that 36 of 37 malaria
patients were cured within a few hours of using
this treatment, and boy does
he wish he thought
to get some kind of tangible evidence of that at the time he plans to widen the scope of his
practice which conflicts with the goals of the california medical board the board recently filed
a five-page complaint about gray that accused him of gross negligence and threatened to take away
his medical license of course that wouldn't stop him from selling homeopathic shit so i feel like
he's gonna be just fine
right so the complaint is literally just that it's a complaint like why not just tweet at him
i mean if we're doing what we're saying is it's uh it's like breaking up with eli
and look if i know anything about national regulation on homeopathic cures the law isn't
going to do shit to this asshat that That means our only hope is market forces.
So, with Flood in the Market in mind, we'd like to present the following homeopathic
sound file clinically tested to cure Ebola, AIDS, cancer, swine flu, restless leg syndrome,
and the summertime blues.
Homeopathic sounds are not intended to cure, treat, diagnose, prevent, or intimidate any
disease.
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Homeopathic sounds are offered for entertainment purposes treat diagnose prevent or intimidate any disease these statements have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration homeopathic sounds are
offered for entertainment purposes only do not constitute an attorney client relationship if
you experience nausea vomiting or erection lasting more than 48 hours discontinue use of homeopathic
sounds immediately to homeopathic sounds could be harmful or fatal of swallowing case vaccine
on ingestion please contact a physician to explain to you how that could possibly work
also i've got your realize always kidding and in silver scheme fiend news tonight televangelist tv
salesman and convicted felonon Jim Baker has a brand
new product this week. And no matter how much
you donate on Patreon, we are
not going to eat it.
Well, maybe. It depends on how things work out with the bucket.
We'll see.
Tweety Bird in a Sigmund Freud costume's
new product
is a silver gel
that he claims,
and this is real, cures all venereal disease.
Wow.
Okay, but in fairness to Jim Baker, you look like Tweety Bird's owner in a Sigmund Freud
discussion for being accurate.
Hey, Eli, let's hurry this story up before we have to start thinking about how Jim Baker's
octogenarian listenership got VD to begin with, huh?
One vote.
So, here's the quote.
Quote, do you know the one thing we never talk about really
is one of the few gels and products
that cures, or gets rid of,
all venereal diseases. This is
like a miracle in a tube.
End quote.
Okay, don't be fooled. The flesh
light does not cure VD. doesn't matter what you smear
inside of that thing i've done extensive research that's not how that works uh lava stands okay but
it's still a miracle in a tube the pelvic floor is lava put it on and your dick rots off and now
you don't have chlamydia there you go either way patreon goal heath will eat some of it
and i really only say that because he already has but we have the video and he's not dead from it
yet so might as well get some money out of it tasted like a nice ripe thermometer i would say
it was pretty good moving on in distilborne news christian broadcaster rick wiles finally recovered from his latest flare
up of his hair rejecting his face this week just in time for a very special episode of true news
the news show that isn't lying yeah putting true in the name of your news show is like putting
democratic in the name of your country or objective in your facebook posts or relationship in your open relationship it doesn't make sense boo boo so according to
wiles we finally figured out the source of the great invigorated feeling we all get we drink a
nice cold glass of water turns out it's the life force of thousands of aborted fetuses whose blood is being injected into America's public water supply.
I mean, if you buy into homeopathy, that's absolutely true, though.
Yeah, but if you buy into homeopathy, literally everything is true.
Except science.
Yes.
Yeah.
So apparently Rick Wiles had an interesting day at some point last week.
He drank some water and turned to his
wife and he was like, hey, let me ask you something. Does this taste like an aborted fetus to you?
And she said, what the fuck is wrong with you? And he was like, I knew it. You're in on the scam too.
So did a whole show about it on True News. All right. Similarities to how Noah writes the
diatribe are a coincidence in this case. I tells you a coincidence and uh here's what wiles had to say he started by just asking questions
like any good skeptic he asked quote when they slaughter a little baby in a planned parenthood
baby butcher shop when when that happens where does that baby's blood go where does that baby's blood go? Where does the baby's brains and guts go?
End quote.
Okay.
So, lots to unpack there already.
First of all, the Planned Parenthood baby butcher shop is an adorable new toy that we've been working on.
But more importantly, if I thought there was a butcher shop for fetuses inside Planned Parenthood, my first question isn't about the logistics of blood cleanup.
That's insane.
I'm asking about the marbling.
Well, obviously, I'm baffled that he's wondering about the remains categorically.
Right.
Like it's like recycling there's just
like hey y'all which color bin do these eight cells go is this heart you think going to red
one dave for the last time those cells can go in any bin that's why we're killing the baby they go
anyway make a shaky's pizza
so it turns out those questions were both real and rhetorical from rick wiles because
he did some research and he found some answers he answered himself quote i'll tell you where it goes
oh good it goes down the drain into the sewer system and the blood of those babies is running
through your town's sewer right the sewage pipes in your city are carrying
the blood the guts the brains the tissues of all the babies murdered in your city today you're
actually drinking the baby's blood cannibalism period end quote well wait when you're already
drinking out of the sewer it's a weird i don't think i don sewer, I don't think he knows how pipes work.
Look, the baby blood wouldn't even be your biggest concern in that scenario, bro.
Right?
I mean, I kind of see the logic because I, too, am very, very stupid.
But when you're drinking everything, right?
Like, I feel you should bring up the massive amounts of poop before the baby blood.
If only as a matter of volume, you should bring up the massive amounts of poop before the baby blood. If only as a matter of volume, you should bring up
the massive amounts of poop.
Yeah, so, just to be
clear, we do not
literally throw out the baby with the
bath water when we're doing abortion.
And we do not infuse the public
water system with dead fetuses. That's
a popular misconception.
Dead baby pun.
Crushed it.
Misconception.
That's the fuck out of it.
Thank you.
I didn't get it.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Slow burner.
So yeah,
but the point is that would fuck up
the whole plan
with the fluoride.
Well, right.
And if you find a preemie
on top of your Brita,
that was just
a really good prank
that wasn't filtered out.
That is pretty funny.
And in social justice warlock news tonight
according to a recent article in rolling stone a los angeles-based liar named chani nicholas
has managed to build a large following and a successful business by providing online astrology
workshops that contain a progressive political message and much like the conflicted nature of the job
i also can't decide on uh this person's appearance she looks like a horse got a perm
and dressed up like a woman but like like in a good way like i'm pretty sure i want to fuck
this horse lady like like if the good wife was a centaur jul Julianna Margulies, centaur. Yeah, she looks like Cher was messing around with those funny filters in Photo Booth and then one of them came to life.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
No, I had Tracy Harris went to a plastic surgeon and said, give me the jigsaw.
Yes.
So here's what she does.
For about $40 a session, idiots can learn why planetary orientation means they should have empathy for other people and
whatever the fuck else Eli's always whining about
but as much as I'd love to see stupid
people lose their money while learning
some basic morality and
as much as I'd love to blame the masterpiece
cake shop ruling on
Mars being at a fucking
heterosexual angle last week
whatever feels like
social justice astrology is
still fraud and
I should be against
it. Let's explain
why I'm against it. You guys go first
and I'll tell you.
Because you hate black people.
I'm pretty sure his hatred for black people
is an unrelated covariance. I'm going to go
with general
opposition to bullshit fostered by
the elemental opposition between your sun and moon signs afflicted plantarily yeah yeah so uh
all right well the big question is do the ends justify the means especially considering how we
live in a nation full of tragically stupid people and one of the two major political parties is
definitely working hard to
get votes by appealing to all that stupidity so it seems like there's something to be said for
at least making sure the stupid spiritual hippies can cancel out some votes by the
stupid religious hillbillies as we all know naive leftists are completely harmless and never help
cause election outcomes that are horrible and tragic so I'm sorry, Heath. I could not hear you over Jill Stein's very loud counting.
I mean, the problem is the stupid, though.
You can't fix stupid with different stupid.
They don't cancel out.
They do not cancel out.
You can still try.
You can see what happens when you throw a stupid at others.
I mean, it's entertaining as all fuck.
Are you not entertained? Yeah, you are right maybe we have a gladiator thing okay
we're getting off track we're getting off track yeah so again we have some things in common
you're tall all right that's really wish is she not tall it doesn't that's not the point
she's many things i and she deserves compliments for her other great qualities
whatever again we're getting off track a point is she's definitely making our camp look bad yeah
like how lots of republicans probably feel about donald trump or american people feel about donald
trump or human beings feel about bottom line maybe we can find a non-magical reason to believe in feeding hungry people and
getting medicine for sick people and how mentioning that too many black people are
getting killed by police doesn't mean we want more white people getting killed by police i
feel like that shouldn't be a misunderstanding so like it's what would jesus do if he was just like
a nice gay guy from palestine let's all do that. He would get shot for getting
too close to a fence.
Oh, you were doing a hypothetical.
Sorry, you were doing a hypothetical.
The gladiator thing.
No, still.
Also, maybe get shot for too close to a fence
back then. That's a long
policy. Standing policy.
Separate conversation.
Exactly. And in all Egyptgypt me news tonight the top
administrative court in egypt has given our turn into puns i struggled i struggled i found one
the top administrative court in egypt has given youtube a timeout and a stern talking to over
their failure to censor videos that piss muslims off a also known as videos. The court ordered YouTube banned
nationwide for a month and warned that further
violence could result in a loss of Nintendo
privileges. A spokesman for
YouTube reiterated their insistence that they
wanted to be in their room anyway and that they
hate stupid Egypt so much.
Oh boy, Egypt.
You think you hate YouTube now? You just wait
until you get the full thing. Right.
It's like if every other page of a really good recipe book was Mein Kampf.
It's like, oh.
Okay, I don't think you're using the internet right at all.
It's always like, if your browser history is the same as the Nazis, I feel like it stops being ironic at a certain point.
It's like shit porn.
You're a shit porn fan.
it's like shit porn you're a shit porn fan now this case all got started when egyptian lawyer muhammad hamad salem got his colon all knotted up over the 2012 short movie innocence of muslims
now you'll remember this 14 minute shit statement of a film that caused massive riots around the
muslim world and if you're not a conspiracy theorist uh was either the instigating factor
or the convenient excuse for the 2012 attack on Benghazi.
Yeah, Hillary knew about the riots.
Did.
Now she's just raking in those Benghazi profits.
Clearly, yeah.
And despite pressure from the White House to remove the video at the time,
Google, YouTube's parent company, refused,
noting that the video was critical of Islam, not Muslims,
and therefore met YouTube standards. Yeah, i said you're all a bunch of
animals listen so fast forward five years countless riots hundreds of injuries and 50 deaths later
and egypt is apparently still carrying on with this shit uh the court justified their ruling
by pointing out that the video could cause riots and violence which is demonstrably true i guess
and also cited its possible effect on Muslim children.
You know, that wide swath of English speaking Muslim children who surf YouTube in the country
where the average income is 16 bucks a day.
Yeah.
Quick tip for Egypt.
Might be easier to start from scratch with the Internet.
Just go with the websites that don't cause.
Yeah, right.
Build up from the bottom up.
Yeah, exactly.
Google CFO ruth porat expressed
grave concerns for the company's future after adjusting second quarter earning statements to
reflect the loss of 1 12th of the annual egyptian youtube revenue the stock sell-off is still
underway and seems like it might be leveling off but just to be on the safe side start familiarizing
yourself with somebody else's maps too no i will I will not use Apple maps. No matter how hard my iPhone makes me try.
You will know you will not use them.
Even if you try.
And finally tonight from the God awful goofies file,
Hogwarts school for bitchcraft and bigotry.
Liberty university is back in the news this week for their upcoming film,
the Trump prophecy,
which is about, which is about none other than his
favorite tarp-inventing prophet,
Mark Taylor.
Mark motherfucking
Taylor. Amazing.
Yeah, he calls himself a fireman
prophet, and instead
of telling people there's going to be a fucking fire,
he invented a tool
for dragging their smoldering corpses out of the fire that he knew was going to be a fucking fire he invented a tool for dragging their
smoldering corpses out of the fire that he knew was going to happen and didn't say anything about
yeah he's like a not great x-man so mark taylor who listeners will remember for appearing on the
show only a few more times than i have is a former firefighter who received a message that donald trump would be elected president in 2012 yeah which was wrong or on a weird delay but it was a fire prediction exactly
closer than the simpsons yeah either way since then he's claimed everything from
the russian investigation being a psyop that he caused caused Hillary to collapse with his prayers, that Pizzagate was real,
that Trump will unveil the cure
for cancer and Alzheimer's in his
second term. Not yet. Yeah, right. No, he's holding it.
Yeah. There's a lot.
Literally, there's nothing crazy you can
make up that he hasn't said.
Oh, I want to play. Fun game.
Okay. Pedophiles
are easier to catch during the winter.
Nope. Nope. he said exactly that recently
those words that was exact words pretty much uh okay uh tv screens are shooting radio waves that
cause liberal dna mutations nope fuck okay yeah that's a hard game right it's like the arkham
horror card game of crazy dudes you can't win it's kind of the point. I mean, the saddest part is that Donald Trump being president isn't crazier than any of the other shit.
It just happened.
Right? Like in a real universe that this is clearly a wacky simulation of,
we're still listing it alongside the TV DNA shit and pizza gate just to round out the list.
That's true. That's true.
Anyway, all of this is why he is the ideal protagonist
for a film made by a university
that has trouble with its students
trying to walk through walls
and soak up Christian energy
through grades.
A lot of people have asked,
will we review it?
Yes.
Will I love every second?
Also yes.
Of course.
Because it's the movie version
of a hobo describing another hobo's dream to you.
And with that earnest effort to reintroduce the term hobo to the national lexicon,
we're going to close the headlines for the night.
Heath, Eli, thanks as always.
Jumanji.
And when we come back, you're going to get that sad, the show's almost over feeling.
Show's almost over, feeling.
Eli likes to joke around on the show about us going through a fake Christian conversion and starting a Christian podcast to make more money.
It's not a joke.
I'm the editor.
Yes, it is.
Anyway, I feel like that's a pretty good indicator that podcasting isn't a mature art form,
because in mature art forms like music movies television and literature
switching from the secular to the christian version never means more success and with that
in mind we'd like to present yet another installment of god awful music and joining
us once again is the host of the thinking atheist podcast and the author of deconverted a journey
from religion to reason and sacred cows a light-hearted look at belief and tradition around the world seth andrews set Journey from Religion to Reason, and Sacred Cow's A Lighthearted Look at Belief and Tradition Around the World.
Seth Andrews. Seth, welcome back to the show.
Thanks for having me. It's good to be back.
Hey, man, last time you were here, you introduced us
to the leather goddesses of Phobos.
I think we owe you at least that.
And I just want to tell you all that whatever they say
about post-2000, Generation X has nothing,
nothing on us.
I don't ever want to hear about millennials again.
I just want you to know I paid her $100,000
and asked her not to speak about it in public.
I just want you to know.
All right.
So we're back for more Christian music.
Heath, tell us,
what will we be breaking down today?
All right.
We watched New Thang by dc talk
it's uh it's a group of white people plus one black guy just brutalizing black culture it's
basically a musical version of the rodney king video that's what we watched it's a music video if rodney king was a music video it's this
and eli how bad was this video well if you loved rap back when even black people weren't very good
at it but you want someone even worse you will love this music video if you told me that this was this entire video was done at gunpoint i'd be like
oh okay sure right sure now it makes sense now seth okay be honest even in your most devout days
of worship and christian music fandom this would have annoyed the fuck out of you right
absolutely absolutely i never liked this.
Even when I was a true blue believer and Christian broadcaster,
I hated this song.
I followed DC Talk later in the 90s,
but this earlier incarnation for me,
it was just the whole video screams,
kick my ass and take my milk money.
That's all I get from these three guys.
Just kick my ass and take my money.
Now, Seth, I have a very important question because we learned last time you were on the show that you wore the white suit and you had the sock tie.
Were you ever in the jumpsuit and the backwards?
You have to tell us.
It's like being a cop.
Show me your dick, Seth.
You have to.
No, no, no.
I never did it.
But, you know, it's like being a cop show me your dick set you have to no no no i never did it i i uh but you know it's it's hard you look back at the or do the 80s qualify as oldies now oh yeah i think so
like is it 80s or is it oldies because we're getting to the point where we're approaching
you know 2019 and i'm trying to figure out is it is that is our culture is that decade really
oldies now i i mean no it is it is, Seth, because think about it.
Like when we were kids, when our parents were 40, their shit was oldies.
Our stuff is oldies now.
Oh, gosh.
No way around it.
Hurts my heart.
Hurts my heart.
My high school experience was like, everybody, look at these runt guys trying to dress like Don Johnson in Miami Vice.
And think of how pathetic that is.
And that's also how most men in Christian music videos dressed.
It was very much the white jacket and the narrow ties.
They did the piano key ties.
They did the fedora, the baggy pants, the parachute pants,
those types of things.
And so I was guilty of some of it, but not all.
I still remember my first pair of parachute pants.
I was so disappointed when
i found out that all those zippers didn't actually have pockets i wore parachute pants to parachute
day in kindergarten and everyone made fun of me and i thought i was crushing it that was a big
changing point for me i don't want to get into it i think it's the first joke i ever made to a big
group of people where they were like what and? And I was like, fuck you all.
At some point, somebody looked at the material for a parachute and said, you know, I want to wear that.
Yeah, there was a lot of cocaine back then.
OK, so is there anything you guys want to nominate this video for being the best at being the worst at?
Yeah, okay. Started to talk about it already.
Best worst cultural
appropriation.
They might as well be wearing Cleveland Indians
mascot heads with black face
over the red skin.
It's so fucking
bad. I've got
the best worst wearing of
cross necklaces from catholic book and gifts
yeah these were state issued i'm gonna go with best worst understanding of what a new thing is
spoilers uh this song will realize exactly zero verses in that they are not in fact talking about a new thing no they are not
oh my god and so i went i wrote out i copied out the lyrics from some website or whatever and then
i went to put my notes in them and the first lyric is you know he's doing it and immediately
my note is boy that's the quickest i've ever hated anything okay so now we're gonna mostly
be talking about the lyrics since the last time we talked a lot about
the video because the video was telling a story in this one the video is just white people bouncing
right yep white people bouncing and then obviously checking in with their black friend for a thumbs
up and then bouncing can we please use the n word we'll put the a at the end no no man i said can you say it for
us still no so what if we dub it in but it's you you're the one yeah it's so bad it's just a montage
of like stuff the kids like that's supposed to be cool yeah with the word god every two seconds
spliced in so it's like baseball god God. Sneakers. God. Black friend.
God.
It's just terrible.
And by the way, okay, so this is another great 80s reference that nobody will get.
But they're all dancing like Mr. Hot Dog from Burger Time.
No?
I got to Google that now.
Mr. Hot Dog.
Wait, I'm afraid to Google Mr. Hot Dog.
Yeah, right, right. It's like Blue Waffle. mr hot dog wait i'm afraid to google mr hot dog yeah right right oh the guy who
introduced us to leather goddesses doesn't want to google
ain't it always the way it's all fine when it's your kink
if i had known sitting in that steakhouse i was sitting across from a leather goddess player
so we should also point out okay
so like they're making these really ridiculous efforts to to make these kids look hard right
they're like oh put us up behind a chain link fence it'll make us look street yo oh a good
percentage of these lyrics are god challenging us to a fight just so we know how tough these people
are yeah it's got it's got
an electric boogaloo kind of vibe even though they did a lot of black and white it's got that same
sort of um i don't know it's like kind of a street rap video mixed with a really bad mentos commercial
actually all the commercials are really bad but it's like you know it's this weird mix of edgy
hard and also like extremely blissful and happy at the same time. It's two tones that completely clash
and don't work. Well, and also they're trying
to do all the hip-hop dance moves, but they don't have the
skill for it, so it's like hip-hop meets
the hokey pokey, you know?
So, okay, so then
we get white people rapping, which is as good
as you expect. He goes, my god
is doing a brand new thing,
but since time began, he remains
the same, you know? Which would seem to indicate that he's not doing a brand new thing but since time began he remains the same you know which uh would seem
to indicate that he's not doing a new thing damn it damn it one second do you guys want to call it
old thing because i feel like we already wrote that verse now he carries on from harp to piano and song to rap. You know, God's with us.
So we cannot lack.
That's to rhyme with rap, guys.
That's the best they could do.
And then that's a hard one.
App.
What?
What's that?
Oh, I got the clap again.
Yeah.
But we can't keep talking about that, though.
So then we get the chorus again.
God is doing it.
God is doing a new thing.
We also learned at the end of this course that they, too, are doing a new thing.
Right.
And this is where the only African-American who will be allowed to speak in the music video comes in with a through Jesus Christ in a separate continent separate continent right he's all by himself they were
they obviously approached some black singer and they were like yeah so this is the whole video
and the guy was like no and we're in a fist fight now so they just hired another guy and they were
like we literally just need to sing through jesus christ and he was like okay i mean that's how are
you guys gonna use it don't worry about it all right how bad could it be that by the way is the lead singer from the newsboys that is michael
tate oh is it yep oh michael tate is the black guy from dc talk wow i've never been more happy
and wait the same band that finishes all the god's not dead movies that is correct sir yeah
that's the one who looks like the predator now yeah no the guy's Not Dead movies. That is correct, sir. The guy who looks like the Predator now.
Yeah, he does
look like Predator.
God is, once again, doing a new thing.
Also, this is where they
take claim of that new thing.
God is doing a new thing through our music.
We're doing a new thing
so he can use it.
Music, use it. Anyway, God's
using this music and we're coming strong.
DC talking, often singing a song.
Not always, though.
Sometimes just ordering a pizza.
To make you think twice about the way that you live.
And he can let you know Christ is the one that'll give.
Okay, so about halfway through the recording michael tate
clearly explained how black people use lots of contractions and apostrophes because like until
this point they're trying to rap like whilst enunciating every single syllable and using the
subjunctive would that we would but now but now they go way overboard
the other direction because he explains that so everything's like new speaky bonics now it's so
stupid so yeah he says uh the christ is the one that'll give peace in your heart a new start
call on the lord and he'll do his part a brand new thing to your raggedy walk
he might just match it up to that big old talk okay anyone else feel like they were being
challenged to a fight by god's hype man at this point i feel like something got fucked up here
and god's like wasn't on me that's what i'm hearing i'm
really curious seth how did you introduce this song when you played it were you like and now
this for a second and now for something completely different i don't really remember it i you know i
know we did play it uh on on the radio bit. Of course, this was considered too edgy for daytime airplay.
What?
Is that really?
Yeah.
Little grannies are like, no, Fang, I'm sorry, Seth, but that's just too much for me.
I'm in for praising the Lord, but there's a ways and a means.
They changed the I to an A in Fang, and it's wrong.
Messed up my crossword puzzle.
During the day was all the safe stuff for the go-to-work adults.
And then, you know, this type of anything that incorporated rap, which anything, anything that had rap was put on the evening and overnight playlist.
And so we didn't even play the thing during the day because at that time in that culture in the the church it was considered too edgy for daytime airplay in christian radio so wait so wait so edgy was
not a product of the lyrics it was the product of sounding black it was well well i mean you're
looking at a culture that's got a an olympic gold and hypocrisy so there's a hundred reasons
why somebody would move something to
another time zone but at that point in christian music anything rap was considered not mainstream
and so they're like well you know the kids like it and so they would shuffle it off out of the
mainstream playlist during the day and and uh so that's that was the excuse anyway uh follow-up
question and this is for all the older members.
Keith was born in 1983.
I was born in 1987.
Noah, Seth, you were born in 1923.
When did the world learn to dance?
Because if I can look at a music video and do all the dancing in it,
I feel like it wasn't.
When did we really nail dancing?
You don't dance in the church.
You don't dance.
It's liturgical movement. It's a dance in the church. You don't dance. It's liturgical movement.
It's a move of the spirit.
You don't dance.
They definitely weren't dancing.
I'm with you there.
It was amazing.
Like, honestly, it feels like Michael Tate was winning a bet with his black friends about what, like, fake hip-hop dance moves he could make up and get these white guys to do.
Like, how ridiculous he could make up and get these white guys to do like how ridiculous he
could make it like because now they're just doing like ballet moves from fantasia they're playing
leapfrog they're like miming a canoe ride it's the best he definitely tricked him into doing a
bunch of shit so all right so now it's our time to get to the hardcore rhyme here christ is the
reason for dc talk gee i wonder what lin-manuel miranda's gonna rhyme here. Christ is the reason for DC talk. Gee, I wonder what Lin-Manuel
Miranda's going to rhyme talk with.
He's the focus of our daily
walk, y'all.
Oh, you had it. Just cut it.
Without him,
we ain't nothing but
names, but through God, we're
doing brand new
thang.
River Thames.
Alright, and I have
to ask, Heath, as a Yankees fan,
which was worse, watching the white
dude dancing around in this video wearing
the Yankees jersey or the
2004 LCS?
We don't talk about that on the show.
So that was worse. Okay, just curious.
And then we get the endless chorus,
which, by the way, is still going on in my head.
We have watched two and a half hour Christian movies
significantly shorter in experience
than this three minute video.
I was pausing.
I was cleaning the house,
texting old girlfriends.
Anything but this.
All right.
Well, Seth, I know this fucking song is still stuck in my head.
I would imagine you've got the same problem.
So I appreciate you suffering alongside us once more.
No, it's a real joy.
I mean, this is, I mean, I'm kind of a masochist anyway.
But I mean, it's interesting, too.
If you go back and you Google like Christian rappers of the 80s and 90s they were all got like dc talk stands for decent christian decent
christian talk that's what that was spelled there's some a bunch of is that real yeah that's
real and then there's like there's doc which stands for disciples of christ there was actually
a christian rap group called grips g- G-R-I-T-S.
I shit you not. Acronym?
Yeah, Grammatical Revolution
in the Spirit.
Yes!
Yes!
We got to figure out a gravy for them too.
Heath's just surrounded by charts
for the next month. The next time you see Heath,
he's going to be like i have haberdashery
nothing as cool as mr hot dog but they did have grits back in the 1980s 1990s no this is a lot
of fun i it's a blast from the past it's always embarrassing i've always got a blush on my face
when we go through this stuff but it's i i find it liberating you take all this insanity and you
realize what a cheap knockoff it is of the quality stuff over here in the secular world and you and you realize
that you they're thinking why why create uh mediocrity when you can copy genius right and
so that's exactly what they're doing instead of being original let's go find what's popular let's
grab it make a cheap ass version of it and go out and try to sell it as our own well and what's so
amazing about doing this is that we get to kind of double up on that because it's like a cheap-ass version of it and go out and try to sell it as our own. Well, and what's so amazing about doing this
is that we get to kind of double up on that
because it's like a cheap knockoff version
of stuff that's just horrible from the 80s
to begin with.
It's like Mormonism.
Well, Seth, thanks again for hanging out.
My pleasure, guys. Thank you.
It's time for the part of the show that comes next, listener feedback. This is the part
of the show that still exists. See? It's still
here.
Okay, so our first message
comes in the form of a one-star
review on iTunes.
Fuck you.
By Living Phil, titled, Silence on Race Realism is Immoral.
In his review, he says, oh, it's so good.
In his review, he says, quote, was a fan at one time, but their absolute refusal to call out Sam Harris on his
year-long defense of Charles Murray
is detestable.
These are people who feel
morally superior to Mother Teresa,
but they're more than happy
to remain silent as a leader of
their movement says the only plausible
reality is one where black
people are genetically inferior
to whites. And you know what?
End quote.
I marked his review as not helpful for his refusal to call out Pol Pot during his review.
What do you have against Cambodian peasants, asshole?
Phil.
Phil, as the wokest bae on our program, let me break this down for you.
Firstly, we have addressed the claims of Charles Murray on this show multiple times,
both seriously and as passing jokes.
And if you were a fan at one time, you weren't.
You'd have fucking heard that.
No, what you saw was a comment on a Facebook from an idiot who also doesn't listen to our show.
And you decided a one-star review would be a great way to show us what for also you look i
don't listen to sam harris's show but i'm gonna go out on a limb here and i'm gonna say that sam
harris didn't say that quote the only plausible reality is one where black people are genetically
inferior to whites end quote i'm gonna bet a fucking ham sandwich that phil can't bring me
that audio and by the way that's not a defense
of sam harris so much as an admission from phil that he can't even make the thing that we didn't
do that he thinks we do sound bad without making shit up hold on real quick you're gonna bet a ham
sandwich a ham like is that a standard betting like a whole like a standard ham sandwich i mean
look when you're almost eating a ham sandwich,
it's worth a lot more than it is when you're buying a ham sandwich, right?
Exactly.
Almost to your...
All right, now I really want a ham sandwich.
See?
We're talking about it.
Well, Phil's going to owe you one.
Well, yeah, I was going to say,
you've got to just bring me some racist Sam Harris audio,
and you're good.
All right, so if you're asking
why we haven't debunked the bell curve specifically on our show.
Well, we're going to do that after Case for Christ.
It's because we're an atheism show.
Right.
And debunking every right wing policy wonk who wrote a pseudoscientific universally panned piece of garbage in the 90s doesn't really fall into the atheism
category and perhaps we don't want to give attention to this bullshit specifically and
especially when as your review indicates some of our community might be falling for it right but
but that's not what you meant phil see what you meant is why haven't we dedicated our atheism show to fighting sam harris
exactly and i and you know what i can understand why you'd ask that a lot of atheist podcasts
have dedicated themselves exclusively to sort of in community discussion at this point and i
like some of those shows but that's not our show what we do on this show is we fight theocracy on this show and despite
the popular belief we are not obligated to personally disprove and address every dumbass
thing every non-god-believing person says or does no matter how popular they might be also you know
i'm sorry like the internet is vast but if i have to bitch about all the people I don't like, there's going to be no room left for Netflix and it'll be your fault.
Yeah, can verify, can verify.
And Phil, I'll tell you why we don't do the like, hey, this is who we disagree with.
Right. Because right now there's a 19 year old kid who like just escaped their religion, who's listening to us for the first time.
Or as we found out, there are like 54 year old dudes who used to be preachers listening to us for the first time. Or as we found out, there are like 54-year-old dudes who used to be preachers listening to us for the first time.
And they're being told they're not alone in being an atheist for the first time.
They're being told that like, we know religion's bullshit too.
And for the first time, and for the first time, they're tuning into our show and we're saying like, don't worry guys.
And you're like, you should announce that the church bitches and bigots are there too.
Here's our enemy list.
And when we do that, that person feels more alone, more afraid,
and we don't get to teach them by example.
Because honestly, Phil, if you used to be a fan,
if you've heard so much of our show,
is there any chance that someone could listen to our show and be unclear about our position
on the motherfucking bell curve right thank you sir also just fun quick story about the bell curve
in my life we went to a live show last year and somebody as a joke gave me a copy of the bell curve like here's a copy of the bell curve somehow your character persona got turned into a racist over
the course of the show i don't know what happened you're irish okay fair well he gave i got that as
a joke as a gag gift and then i had to bring it through airport security oh wow and i had to open
my bag because like i put like an electronics
thing in my bag and it was an african-american gentleman who happened to open up my bag and be
like is this your bag and the bell curves right on top and i was like it's uh it's a joke i ironically
carry around a really large book in my suitcase he's the first person to be like i did not pack my own
there's a bomb in there just set that one on fire and also by the way for what it's worth i know
this is a minor part of the review but i've never tortured children or withheld medicine from sick
people because pain helps them get closer to god okay if i had an
autographed copy of the bell curve that i used to whack black kids in the head until they forgot
their multiplication tables i'd still be a better person than mother theresa it's true i mean i still
think you should stop trying to set that up in a live show but it is true all right we also had an email from a listener named samantha
hey guys love your shows great start i was thinking about getting a scathing atheist
tattoo and i was wondering what you guys think would that freak you out it would in a very
positive way we're freaking out also what should I get for the tattoo and where would you suggest that I get it?
Wow, you asked us that.
Great idea, Samantha.
And by the way, that is the only one of two getting a scathing atheist tattoo emails that we got this week.
So, hey, Natalie, go for it.
We love it.
Yes!
Do it!
Okay, so logo is preferred because someday you'll regret it and you'll be able to just be like,
it's a band I liked, but if you want to go
all out, I'm going to say
a full-size replica of
my face on
your face.
Yes, your face!
Alright, and maybe, okay, so
sad Eli on the back of your face, happy
Heath on the front of your face.
You can tell people how you're feeling.
Get all the untrue jokes I've written tattooed on your back about heath so like he's eating ramen
well i eat ramen i just feel like it's not a it's not a defining characteristic of me as a person
wow i gotta show gotta be honest guys great job i when i saw this email i was thinking that
samantha was gonna get much worse advice maybe you get a graph of the intelligence of black people
and white people oh god uh if she's a listener to our show we know she already has that tattoo
phil pointed it out phil called us out he knows also racists love our show also i'm gonna jump
out of the uh script that we've got here too
because i wanted to mention this a listener got in touch with me uh the other day and said that
i believe it was the skeptic right they were listening to and they had a pre-roll ad on there
for a like baby homeopathic remedy or something um and i want to make it clear to the listeners
like look the the pre-roll ads the ads that you hear before the show starts those are dynamically inserted based on like your location what they know of your age gender buying
habits and whatever uh so there's there's like a bazillion different advertisers that use that so
we can't actually go through and say these are the advertisers we approve but what we can do is say
these are the advertisers that we never want to see again so if you ever hear an ad like that
uh just let us know the name of the company,
the name of the brand that's being advertised,
and we'll get the fuck rid of it immediately,
which is what we did with the baby homeopathy.
It was Mark Zuckerberg's fault.
Yeah, exactly.
It's all Zuckerberg.
Also, great little moment that we had with our thing,
because we have the, like,
don't know fake medicine thing as a category.
We're like, we don't want any alternative medicine.
So the way they got through that filter for us is that it's
medicine other.
It's not alternative medicine.
It's medicine other. So I was like,
okay, we're not doing medicine other.
Is there anything else I need to know?
Just no medicine. No one's going to find out
about medicine. Just Old Navy ads.
You're all getting Old Navy ads.
And 1-800-CARS-FOR-KIDS, apparently.
Oh, that's what I get every time.
And that's all the feedback you're going to get.
If you want more, keep sending us those emails, tweets,
and one-star reviews. We fucking love those.
Don't.
Don't.
They show us.
The contact page at skatingatheist.com.
Before we return the moving truck this week,
I want to let everybody know that we've just announced another live record for Godawful Movies,
this time in beautiful London, England.
We're going to be there on October 6th.
That's a Saturday night.
We'd love to see you there.
We're doing a platinum night viewing the night before.
Tickets to both are still available
and linked on the show notes.
Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight, but we'll be back in
10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the
lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show, The Skeptocrat,
debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern time on Monday, an even
newer episode of our sister show's hot friend, Godawful Movies,
debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern on Tuesday, and an even newer
episode of our half-sister show, Citation Needed,
debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday.
Obviously, I couldn't hold my head high in the Coliseum anymore
if I neglected to thank Heath Enright for years of being
Earth's most considerate roommate and also for helping me move that goddamn fold-out couch.
I also want to thank the lovely and talented Lucinda Lutions, who's super sorry that as soon as she got back here to do a twim, she had to skip another week because of the move.
She'll be back next week, promise.
And I also want to thank Eli in advance for not rage-quitting over all the shit I'm going to give him for this meditation retreat thing.
I also want to thank Instagram's very own RileyTheMed.Animologist for providing this week's Farnsworth quote, quite possibly the most qualified person to send one in
yet. But most of all, of course, I need to thank this week's best people. But unfortunately,
I can't do it by name because I have to record this outro way in advance this week. But I promise
to sufficiently talk up your junk next week. And if you'd like your genitals complimented alongside
theirs, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash scathing atheist, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad free version ofed alongside theirs, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingatheist,
whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode.
Or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the Donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com.
And if you'd like to help but you need all your spare change if you're ever going to make it to the quarter-snapping championships,
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Legal services for this podcast are provided by the Law Offices of P. Andrew Torres.
Tim Robertson takes care of our social media, and our audio
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Fuck you, Phil.
The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle & Thunderstorm LLC.
Copyright 2018. All rights reserved.