The Scathing Atheist - 294: Kavanaugh Means Naugh Edition

Episode Date: October 4, 2018

In this week’s episode, We run down this weeks Christian Rape apologists but sadly NOT with our cars, sex robots, and Bryce Blankenagel will be back just so I have to try to pronounce his name more. Last change to see us in London is clicking here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-in-london-tickets-47591873575 To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: http://www.amazon.com/Diatribes-Godless-Misanthrope-Scathing-Presents-ebook/dp/B00J53FZFI/ref=sr11?ie=UTF8&qid=1396141562&sr=8-1 To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out out half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ Guest Link: Hear more from Bryce here: http://nakedmormonismpodcast.com/ Headlines: More christians on Kavanaugh: Jesse Lee Peterson: http://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2018/09/30/jesse-lee-peterson-democrats-are-controlled-by-angry-god-hating-feminists/ And P Robes: http://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2018/09/27/pat-robertson-wants-god-to-throw-confusion-in-stories-against-brett-kavanaugh/ And B Fish: http://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2018/09/25/bryan-fischer-the-demons-of-hell-are-attacking-brett-kavanaugh/ And Paul Begley: http://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2018/09/27/pastor-the-kavanaugh-allegations-are-the-darkest-hour-in-the-last-150-years/ And Jennifer Leclaire (complete with DEMON visions): http://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2018/09/27/christian-writer-shares-vision-of-30-ft-tall-demon-in-defense-of-brett-kavanaugh/ And Coach Dave: http://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2018/09/26/dave-daubenmire-women-who-lead-men-on-are-committing-sexual-abuse/ BUT the Jesuits are AGAINST Kavanaugh: http://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2018/09/27/jesuit-magazine-after-kavanaughs-hearing-we-take-back-our-endorsement/ Bill Cosby is like Jesus: http://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2018/09/25/bill-cosbys-sex-assault-trial-is-like-the-persecution-of-jesus-spokesman-says/ The EPA Will Eliminate the Role of Science Advisor: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/27/climate/epa-science-adviser.html The Congressional Freethought Caucus Continues to Grow on Capitol Hill http://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2018/09/25/the-congressional-freethought-caucus-continues-to-grow-on-capitol-hill-2/ Christians mad about sex mannequin brothel: http://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2018/09/26/keep-your-filthy-sexbots-out-of-our-city-christians-in-houston-demand-but-why/

Warning, the following podcast contains extravagant profanities like multi-syllabic fucks and whatnot. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by Dollar Shave Club, Blue Apron, and by Dollar Shiva Club, the new Hindu delivery service that sends you a new arm every week. Keep only the arms you want, Dollar Shiva Club, always in arm's reach. And now, The Scathing Atheist. Hi, this is Adam, pilot of Green Gene the Dalek, getting ready to roll out for Nerdmania.

And I can, in fact, inform you that we did evolve from hate. Jesus, I'm so sorry. Filthy, filthy monkey men. Exterminate. Exterminate. It's Thursday. It's October 4th. And it's National Ships in a Bottle Day. When you want a hobby that's mostly going, fuck, damn it, shit. You aren't already a golfer anyway.

I'm no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heath Enright. And from giving up New Jersey, Cincinnati swing state, and good husband Georgia, this is The Scathing Atheist. Liar, we're all in Jersey. We are. We are all in Jersey. On this week's episode, we run down this week's Christian rape apologists, but sadly, not with our cars. Fuck robots, also.

And Bryce Blankenagle will be back, just so i have to pronounce his goddamn name some more but first the diatribe when i was growing up my dad was a cop And having a cop for a dad has some advantages, right? Like when your dad carries a gun for a living, you basically always win the my dad can beat up your dad arguments, for example. But there are also a few disadvantages. Like it was pretty much impossible to watch an action movie with him. You know, we're watching Die Hard and Bruce Willis has given us I'm not ordering a fucking pizza line. you know we're watching die hard and bruce willis has given us i'm not ordering a fucking pizza line and rather than laugh along with everybody else my dad is getting audibly frustrated by how much

authority the dispatcher has taken without sending a request up the chain of command and i get that right i definitely inherited my dad's temper and i'm a science geek so i definitely have those but that's not how gravity works moments when i'm watching bad sci-fi but until now i've never had to experience it to the extent that he did. I'm a science lover. I'm not a scientist. And they don't make movies about people who do my job. But this week, I felt as close to my dad as I ever had when we had to watch God Friended Me for God Awful Movies.

Now, if you listen to all our shows, which you totally should, if for no other reason than that's the only way to get all of Eli's jokes, you already know where I'm going here. But for those of you who don't, God friended me as a news TV show that CBS is rolling out this fall about an atheist who gets friended by God on Facebook. And he's not just any atheist. He's an atheist podcaster. And the only thing that they seem to know about podcasting is that it's often done in the same general vicinity as microphones. So in addition to all the religious bullshit that's always going to piss me off, I have to grit my teeth through a bunch of wild stabs at how

podcasting works from the people that brought you Enhance. Of course, if you want to hear me complain about all the details, be sure to check out this week's episode of GAM. I'm not going to rehash all of that here. In fact, normally I make a rule of not letting the GAM movie inspire the diatribe so as not to get repetitive across the shows. But there's one aspect of the show that I need to bitch about a little more than I did in that episode. And that aspect is the fact that this show exists. Right. So to be clear, the entire precept of this show is an atheist learning

how wrong he is about religion. Now, this show's being a little coy about it, of course. It teases the fact that maybe it's not really God behind the Facebook account, and the wildly optimistic writers seem to think that they're going

to get a whole series to sort out whether it's a supernatural actor or not. But one way or the other, the show presents itself as like an atheist crisis in faith, or lack of crisis and lack of faith. No, no, I'm sorry. Crisis in faith, because this dumb fucking show seems to think that atheism is born of faith in God not existing. And it falls into every dumb fucking trope about atheism that you can imagine. The atheist character is constantly flummoxed by why are there still monkeys levels of argumentation?

His atheism origin story is based on God abandoning him when his mom got cancer. He's unreasonable and angry whenever the subject of religion comes up. He ignores evidence of the divine because he's so committed to his disbelief. And worst of all, of course, he's wrong. Right. Like in this fictional universe, God does exist. And he'll only slowly come to realize this over the course of, I'm guessing, four episodes, because I believe that's how many they've already filmed. And it wouldn't make sense to cancel it earlier than that. So right away, we've moved into the realm of the impossibly fictitious.

I know a lot of atheists, but I don't know a single one that would maintain their disbelief if they were presented with a situation where the most likely explanation was God existing. I mean, don't get me wrong. Not going to get to live forever in an idyllic garden filled with blowjob levels of pleasure all the time is a pretty sweet perk of atheism. But I'm not so married to it as to abandon rationality. Atheists are atheists because that's the only answer that fits the evidence. If you change the evidence, the atheist would change their conclusion to a person. But they can't put that in their fucking show or they'd have to admit that atheism is just the logical answer to the God question. But could you even imagine CBS greenlighting something like this

with a theist? Can you imagine CBS rolling out a new show this fall about a Christian who slowly realizes that it was actually the Muslims who had it right the whole time or a Jew who was friended by a mysterious stranger that convinces him Judaism is nonsense. And if they did, can you imagine them entirely leaving out all the arguments that an actual Jew would present in defense of their faith? Of course not. Because in our backwards ass culture, the only opinion that isn't deserving of respect is the one that's demonstrably true.

At one point in the show, the main character goes to see his dad, who's a preacher, you see, and they have an argument where the dad asked the atheist podcaster to name one single person he's helped with his atheist podcast. And the script doesn't hesitate to take a steaming shit on my profession here. The atheist stutters for a few seconds that basically says, what's that over there before throwing a fucking smoke bomb? The implication being that atheism can't help. At least religion, when it's not true, can, right? Again, but play the fucking substitution game. Name one person you've ever helped with your Hinduism. That doesn't make it past the CBS execs, right? And of course, if it somehow managed to, the Hindu dude's answer sure as hell won't be um or I concede the point.

But if the creators of this show want an actual answer to that fucking question, I got a few emails I could share. Every week I get a handful of emails from listeners that tell us, like, you know, we helped them feel like they had a family when their real family abandoned them over religion. I hear from LGBT listeners that tell us

we helped them walk back from the ledge of suicide by reminding them that somebody loves them and cares about them, even when their religious authorities blithely condemn them to hell. I hear from physically abused women and emotionally abused children who spent years locked in some misguided religious notion of familial superiority and clawed their way out using atheist podcasts as handholds along the way. And that's on top of all the charity work and fundraising that atheist podcasters do. Hell, I don't know of a single atheist podcaster that has never used his or her platform to raise money for charity or to increase the visibility of a charity drive. But the writers of this bad even for network television series couldn't be bothered to actually learn the answers to any of these fucking questions. The whole precept of the show falls apart if the main character opens up his inbox

and starts reading emails to his preacher dad from people who were tortured with gay conversion therapy or shunned by their Jehovah's Witness family or told by their Baptist preacher that divorce was worse than staying with an abusive husband or raped by their Catholic priest or denied meaningful sex ed by some ideologue. Even the slightest hint at what motivates an actual outspoken atheist would bring their show's fanciful facade crashing down around them. But as it stands,

apparently we're going to have to wait for the ratings to do that. They're talking about you, Jesus. We interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are the fellow in the two towers to my return of the kings heath enright and eli bosnick fellas are you ready to england it the fuck up i am ready my irish dna

is a definite pre-existing condition i belong there for a few different reasons plus english food is the only cuisine bland enough not to almost kill me. So double win. All right. Double win. All right. And while we're still ignoring the fact that the Lord of the Rings was the best I could come up with in terms of a British trio, we're going to pause for a word from this week's first sponsor, Dollar Shave Club. Judge Kavanaugh.

Oh, hey, Tyler. How's it going, bro? I'm good. Do you want to put on a shirt or something? You're going to be in front of the committee any minute now. Oh, hey Tyler, how's it going, bro? I'm good. Do you want to put on a shirt or something? You're going to be in front of the committee any minute now. Oh, you think? I was thinking I'd just like come out guns blows, you know? Let them see what, I'm ready to fight, you know?

I feel like a shirt would still be best. I mean, whatever you say, bro. Like, that's what I'm going to do. Are you ready to testify? Oh yeah. Check out these notes, bro. I am going to kill it. This says, scream like a crazy person, weep openly, beer.

Right? How much did you have to drink today, f***? I might skip the slur. Noted. Noted. I mean, how else am I going to get ready, though? Well, Dollar Shave Club has everything you need to look, feel, and smell your best. They have amazing shower stuff, hairstyling products, toothbrushes,es and toothpaste, and of course, razors and shave supplies. Ah, aren't those the guy that make

that amazing, awesome, big cloud good shake hand cream? They sure are. I love that stuff. Leaves my skin silky smooth so that my tears slide right down my giant puffy red face. Yeah. Yeah. The hand cream is great. And right now you can get ready with an amazing deal on any of their starter sets. I recommend the the daily essential starter set because i love the amber lavender body cleanser but you can't go wrong with any of oh man that sounds so much better than my morning routine of shakily pouring a bowl of lucky charms that i'm crying too hard to eat how do i try it well you just head over to dollarshaveclub.com slash scathing to pick your own dsc starter set for just five dollars after your starter set products ship at regular price.

And make sure you check out their new video, too. That's DollarShaveClub.com slash scathing. DollarShaveClub.com slash scathing, huh? All right, Tyler. I'm ready. Okay. And, Brett, remember, don't tell any crazy, easily provable lies, okay? I can literally fly.

Okay. crazy, easily provable lies, okay? I can literally fly. In our lead story tonight, you know, every once in a while, in dark times like these, when all hope is lost, a beacon appears in the sky and a team of extraordinary men and women assemble with one purpose. That purpose? Rape apology.

Those people? Everyone we have ever or will ever talk about on this show. Eli, we already did Kavanaugh last week. I know, but a bunch of Christians said crazy stuff. But that's what we did last week.

No, but different ones. Okay, carry on. Thank you. For those of you who just stepped out of a time machine get back in your time machine this is the weird part of history where a supreme court nominee was accused of sexual

assault and then when faced with the panel equivalent of his mom his best friend and an alien incapable of voting no lost his god damn mind in a manner that would make jack nicholson's character from a few good men go like hey you need to take it down hello judge welcome to the senate here i drive a dodd stratus you don't talk to me that way all right but see i figured it out damn shed

i figured it out if you watched his opening he weeped uncontrollably when he talked about his calendar his yearbook and mark Mark Judge's novel, right? So it's stationary. That's his cry trigger. Oh, okay. And then his belligerent anger trigger is all the non-paper matter. There we go. We figured it out.

Yeah. The Venn diagram. Right. So luckily for us here at The Scathing Atheist, that is not what all of our favorite Christians saw this week. not what all of our favorite Christians saw this week. So first up to bat was Christian radio host Jesse Lee Peterson, who regular listeners will remember for

previously criticizing Kavanaugh for not being manly enough because he had two daughters. That's your fault. It's your chromosomes. And of course, you'll also know Jesse Lee Peterson for looking like a human version of Kanye West's mental health. Two ways. And perhaps you'll also know Jesse Lee Peterson for looking like a human version of Kanye West's mental health.

Two ways. And perhaps you'll also remember him from us not making fun of his speech impediment. Hopefully. Okay, I got to delete some notes. Nope, just go right. No, no. You delete them now or I delete them later. I mean, they're going.

Anyway, he has changed his tune about Kavanaugh means nah. And had this to say about the Democrats. Quote, notice I'm not going to do his speech impediment. Those women who control the Democratic Party hate men and hate God because men represent God on Earth, end quote. Adding

it has nothing to do with being male or female. It's the God that you serve and the Democratic Party is of its father the devil and all the little democrats running around represent satan they're evil people end quote see how that'll do any damage these people need to draw out their thoughts like physically i mean like with a crayon so we can be like hey buddy you see how your courtroom has an angel sitting next to the guy yelling about a non-raping calendar he's next to the angel and a demon is next to the assault

victim do you want to try one more time yeah take take another one another try at that now on the other hand 700 club hosts and g-force exposed brain from the animaniacs pat robertson had a different tactic to deal with Kavanaugh's opposition in the Democratic Party by putting a haint on them. He's so almost cute, right? He's almost there, but it's so dangerous. You want him to be cute,

and then he does the AIDS ring thing with the handshake with gay people, and then you're like, no. Four clicks to the left. You just want to silly putty his face a little bit. Oh, yes. Get him in an old age home. Like, get him a Jamaican nurse who just beats the, not the Jamaican nurse, every nurse will beat your grandparent.

Just want to, like, squish him onto a newspaper and save the newspaper on his face. What he said is the only thing that you will hear once this is edited. Yeah, this week, Robertson asked the Holy Spirit to, quote, throw confusion into those who are bringing false accusations against a future supreme court judge end quote which seems like a weird curse to

put on someone you're saying is bringing a false accusation right like right please sweet five pounds seven inch jesus let them not understand that the doctor and the riddle is a woman. Amen. It's true. Okay. You take Brett Kavanaugh and Mark Judge halfway across the river. You kick them over the side. Yeah, there you go.

Then you go back for the grain. Oh, my time is up. I thought I was on to it. Yeah, I feel like you're tipping your hand there, a little P-Robes. You're basically asking God to blank out the DNA. You're sure isn't there. Yeah. But that's not all.

AFA radio host and retired platypus, Brian Fisher, went for a much more direct approach, letting his listeners know this week that Brett Kavanaugh is literally under attack from the demons from hell saying quote this is satan and the demons of hell coming against one man because he stands for what is right and stands for what is true and all the forces of hell are arranged against him and we

ladies and gentlemen have to stand in the gap for brett kavanaugh i'm okay so jesus basically just does toast now and the best the forces of hell themselves can scrape together are a few credible sexual assault allegations i mean i don't mean to diminish that but like back in the day the forces of hell to raid against somebody they didn't have a catholic priest in his way through a child cancer ward it's like there's some kind of divine arms control agreement that we don't know about exactly de-escalation okay also first question obvious question does beefish think brett kavanaugh sexually assaulted a demon in high school right does he think everyone does that kind of thing these are the questions i mean calling sexual assault victims demons from hell isn't new. We're just not used to it as being, you know, a Protestant thing.

That's what threw me. Yeah. So next up, right-wing pastor Paul Begley took to his hilariously named long-running show, The Coming Apocalypse, to say, quote. That's a great movie. Yeah, really good. Quote, this is the darkest hour in the last 150 years, end quote. Which

seems like a lot. I mean, the Holocaust was pretty bad. That was the first thing I thought of, too. Then again, they might have to find a different guy to overturn Roe versus Wade. So I see what I'm saying. It balances out, maybe. First they came for the fetuses. Well, okay.

Good. Technically, the Jewish people first. It's not a contest. It's not who they came to first. They're both bad. I'm saying they're both bad. Good people on all sides. Good fetuses on all sides.

All right. So don't worry. Not all responses this week were as sane as the ones you've heard so far. No. Now, bringing the crazy this week was one of our favorites, and we've missed her, Christian prophetess Jennifer LeClaire. Jenny Leak. Yes, who, aside from looking like if Miss Frizzle exclusively taught abstinence-based education, shared the vision of a friend of hers about a 30-foot-tall demon trying to stop Brett Kavanaugh.

Here's her retelling of the vision on her blog. Quote, In the vision, I saw a horse with the letter K shaved in its hair across the finish line. That's not even trite. Subtle. I saw a Supreme Court justice

robe and gavel of Supreme Judiciary Authority being handed to Kavanaugh. The Lord told me that Judge Brett Kavanaugh lives pure and fears him. End quote. Wow. I actually had the same dream. And this is when Cory Booker just like drifts up in a Dodge Charger, runs over that horse with the shaved K, and then beats the shit out of Lindsey Graham with a wrench. And,

uh, and then he makes out with Paul Walker. It's such a good dream. We're right next to each other. That's how we had it. I love how stupid God apparently knows her friend is though. Like he's like, all right,

show her the horse with the letter K shaved on it. All right. Let me show you. No, you know what just show her him physically receiving the accoutrements of the officer she'll fuck you know what just tell her just actually just tell her out loud she'll wind up talking about a horse on a keto diet or something we don't know we don't know she continues quote in the vision i saw a demonic spirit nearly 30 feet tall standing in the Senate chambers. I asked the Lord, what am I seeing?

And the Lord replied, this is the spirit that is wrestling against Judge Kavanaugh's purpose and destiny. That is so cool. Cory Booker was extra tall in my dream too. Yes, absolutely. Same dream. So cool. Yes, absolutely. Same dream. So cool. And of course,

last but certainly not least, one of our favorites and the god of everyone's ignorant uncle on Facebook, Coach Dave Daubenmayer had perhaps the craziest take of all this week. That women who lead men on are the real sexual

abusers. Yeah. That's lovely. It's not like i wondered why his wife made him sleep in that empty football stadium but now we know right at least we know yeah now we know still there that's right no demons no satanically inspired political parties for coach dave no he went full murder mystery and it turns out that brett kavanaugh was the victim the whole time you see oh he's gonna go full okay but what was she wearing during the rape, isn't she? He sure is. So after explaining that everyone would be mad if Brett Kavanaugh used the

sure I assaulted her, but she was a slut, so whatever defense, he took a hard right turn seemingly on himself saying, quote, how about all the times when you were a teenage boy and some girl led you on and led you on and then all of a sudden pulled the plug? Every guy that has blood flowing through his body has had that happen. Isn't that sexual abuse as well? What?

Okay. Hey, a quick flow chart for you, Coach Dave and everyone else that seems confused by this very simple concept. Okay, so question one, did the consent go away? Question two, if you're reading this, you're a rapist. Why the fuck did you think it was another question? Gross. End of chart. And in Jell-O pudding at the Last Supper news tonight.

Remember when I said we were all done with Christian rape apology for the week? Well, I lied. Because in a week filled with some of the most appalling rape apology I think any of us have ever seen, Bill Cosby's spokesman, Andrew Wyatt, stepped up to the mic and said, hold my beer. Actually, he probably said,

Bill, you can't hold my beer. Anybody said, hold my beer. Actually, he probably said, Bill, you can't hold my beer. Anybody but Bill can't hold my beer. Bill, you can hold this Frisbee. Catch. Wow. That's weird how you caught that real easy

as a blind person. Well, you think that would be real simple. Do you smell it? Do you hear it? Yeah. So in a public statement that would have made

Lindsey Graham want to punch him in the balls, Wyatt called the long overdue trial of his client, quote, the most racist and sexist trial in the history of the United States. Interesting. Interesting. Cool. Okay.

No, fair enough. So let's make it less racist and sexist then. We'll throw Bill Cosby in a river tied to a bag of rocks and see if he floats. Two boats. That would be less sexist. By a lawyer's definition. Absolutely. And not to try to take any wind out of the analogy, but Lindsey Graham just wants to

punch black men in the balls for wearing suits. I mean, that's not a big deal. You shouldn't do that, Lindsey. But it actually gets worse. He then compared his client to Jesus, saying, quote, they persecuted Jesus. And look what happened. I'm not saying Mr. Cosby is Jesus. But we know what this country has done to black men for centuries.

End quote. I don't know. Give me a hint, Dandy. Is it kind of like what Bill Cosby did to women? I bet. Except without the drugs. Well, no, we did the drugs a little bit, too. Exactly.

And then he ended the, you have to watch the video, but he ended the press conference by listening to a question, which you can't hear in the video, and then screaming, did you sexually assault anybody, Mike? And then leaving. Alright, well, all that being said, it does

make you wonder what that would be like. What that would be like. What that would be like. What that would be like. Now you got to take this bread because it's my body, don't you know? Oh, okay. And take this wine because it's my blood, don't you know? Yeah, I'm not going to drink anything you tell me to drink. Damn!

Nope. Wild card. And in cue the bliss news tonight, the Environmental Protection Agency will reportedly eliminate the position of chief knowing about stuff guy. That's right. They got sick and tired of hearing about how their policies are going to condemn generations to spray silver paint on their faces before leaping to their deaths with a thunder stick.

Witness me. I missed that. They're not only firing all the people whose job it is to know all that stuff, but they're eliminating the whole office of the science advisor so nobody will hire other people who eventually learn it. Just to be clear,

the Environmental Protection Agency no longer learn it. Just to be clear, the Environmental Protection Agency no longer feels it's necessary to take the advice of science? All of knowledge. Yeah, and instead of NASA, which is super nerdy and explainy, we'll have a whiteboard video that just shuffles memes about snowballs in a window that you can't close, so you have to force quit. It'll be fun. It'll save a bunch of money on rockets and stuff yeah exactly i like it okay so now to their credit the epa seems to at least

know that not wanting to know truth sounds bad when you say it like that so they justified the move by saying the position was redundant and i mean in the sense that they already know they're wrong, so telling them that doesn't provide new information. Yes, it is redundant. All four wheels are redundant when you take out the engine. But still, they're saying all the duties will be farmed out to other offices with similar functions. So now they can be the top minds in science and recruit and train the best applicants. Yeah, you don't want to micromanage the scientists with all that constant badgering about... minds in science and recruit and train the best applicants. You see? Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to micromanage the scientists with all that constant badgering about focusing

on science. Look, the fucking science officer's job is to work across all the various scientific panels and shit and then summarize the data. So farming that out to those various panels is like calling the right side of the equation redundancy as the left side is equal to it that's the new gop slogan right there science equals that's it and in good news tonight not everyone on capitol hill is a giant piece of shit really and these days i think we could all use a reminder of that well i don't know eli i have it on good authority that we should just vote them all out and that comes all the same very trustworthy person who refuses to talk about politics once he realizes that you know things about stuff.

Right. So our reminder of that this week is the 115th Congress Congressional Member Organization list showing that the Congressional Free Thought Caucus has more than doubled in size since its creation in April of this year. That is such a nice way of saying a second guy joined. Three people joined. Oh, well, there you go. Doubled. And for those unfamiliar, this is the beginning of great news. And political caucuses do

what your vote is supposed to do. And to see an atheist caucus. Be cool. Be cool. Sorry. Sorry. To see a free thought caucus. Not only form, but grow. You cool. Sorry. To see a free thought caucus. Not only formed, but grow.

Yeah, exactly. Think whatever you want. But it's not only forming, but it's growing and that's

encouraging as well. Add to that that it's not entirely made up of white men and that genie is well on his

way to earning the second half of his payment. I promised him. Yeah. Eli actually does really well with sneaky genies. I do. They try to fuck up his wish somehow,

but then it's just Eli with like a giant monkey paw inside of him, barely sticking out. He's smiling back at the genie. Okay, that was great stuff. Love the little twist with the monkey paw inside of me. Wish number two. Okay, so you know Lindsey Graham, right? You know Lindsey Graham?

Have you seen Cory Booker? Got a great second wish. Okay, so with a little luck, maybe our grandchildren will live to see a day when the 104 million Americans that don't believe in God are every bit as influential as the 4 million Jews. It's like I could see it on the horizon, or I could see a guy who could

probably see it on the horizon from where he is right a great grandchild somewhere yeah so as of right now the cfc controls six seats in the house but that's a fantastic start and assuming you motherfuckers all vote in a month i have a feeling that that number will only keep going up but you know maybe we'll have to make a list of caucuses that everyone wants to join and they can say how many or something. I don't know. And finally tonight, we have a story about fuck robots. Get excited.

Yeah, good. Because I got to be honest, your fuck robot citation needed essay is starting to feel like that novel my mom's working on. I am taking my time with it. No, that's good. That's good. All right. Well, first of all, fuck robots.

Going to restate that. And even better, it's about Christian people reacting to fuck robots. And even better than that, the fuck robots are from Canada. And even better than that, the fuck robots are from Canada. And it's all thanks to a company called Kinky's Dolls, based out of Toronto, that's working on plans to expand their business into the U.S., starting in Houston, Texas. But sadly, their first attempt is being put on hold, at least for the moment, thanks to a whole bunch of religious assholes as you might guess and uh also thanks to whoever the fuck at their company thought houston texas would be the best place in the entire united states to start up a new sex bot venue cincinnati cincinnati i mean its official name is space city

what's more space than fuck robots well i i love houston okay we are 13 months since the last time that they were deluged under an 11-foot sewer. They can't be bothered to enact a single regulation for drainage. But try to stick a flashlight in a mannequin's ass down there. Suddenly, they're all about government. Big government. Okay. What? Yes.

So, here's how it works at Kinky's Dolls. Okay. Educational. This is going to be educational. So you walk in. You pretend you were looking for the public library. And then you decide to stay because, you know, science. What?

And that's when you get to choose from their selection of anatomically correct silicone action figures with functional moving parts like lips, other lips, eyes, and fingers. Each one can cost up to $10,000 to build, which seems high to me. I mean, when I was a kid, we had a microwave banana peel and we liked it. Whatever. But for $60, you can get 30 minutes with your chosen half-Asian fuckbot who laughs at your jokes more than Eli. And apparently, they're all, quote, warm and ready to play.

I'd like to think they have other temperatures available, too, but that might be extra. But so they're available warm. One weird guy who complains about the definition of chilled. Yeah, we know that one weird guy, Eli. I mean, if we made a list of all the humans in order of most likely to return his fuckbox to the kitchen to least, you'd be the only person not tied for second. Can I give you this criticism?

So now you all know what's at stake here. And one of the biggest driving forces behind the giant cock block is a group called elijah rising so as you'd probably guess seeing a christian group trying to describe why they're against fuck robots is the greatest yes but also tragically stupid for example they're claiming that the fuck robots quote will not stop men from purchasing humans for sex, end quote. So first of all, they actually might. I feel like they might. Also,

sex trafficking and sex work are not synonyms. That's important. But regardless, Jamba Juice won't stop sex work. Okay, bad example. You can fuck a smoothie. Well, you know what I meant.

Like, just like, whether or not you can... Stealing smoothies from your desk? Because that's what I heard. I'm glad you heard that too. And another problem claimed by the Christian group is that the fuck robots

will actually increase the demand for, quote, prostitution and sexual exploitation of women and children, end quote. And that one took a jarring turn at the end. Yeah, what? Did one of you guys bring up children? Did I say children?

Or was that the religious group just out of nowhere that brought up the children? I mean, I did, but Noah said he was going to edit it out. There were some very interesting comments on triangle theory as applied to the Merchant of Venice. Eli Heath. Oh, interesting. as applied to the merchant of Venice. Eli Heath. Oh, interesting. If you were saying merchant of Venice. And now that we're on the subject, maybe at priest school graduation, the robes and the silly hat should come with a fuck doll of a little Irish kid. I'm just saying, let's decrease that if we're able to decrease that gross, but better than the current situation.

Right. Because literally anything is better than the current situation right because literally anything is better than the current situation so uh we're we're some very interesting comments on obscure economics reference here he thank you you were also saying guns and but no okay bad example again and here's the final objection they're claiming that sex bots won't reduce violence against women or advance women's rights because they're all about that stuff. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Until Houston allows churches and Bibles into their city, it wouldn't be fair to have fuck robots. Right. Very good point. It's amazing that the only two arguments they have that might be valid if you're like really liberal in your interpretation would also apply to cheese all right so uh once in a while we get set up just right and this is clearly one of those times let's put 10 seconds on the clock haven't done this in a while names for the sex bot brothel it's right go before we go to do your androids come in electric sheep?

That's so good. Cyborg Dello. I'm out of practice. I'm sorry. I'm out of practice. All right. Time's clicking out. The House of Ill Reboot. All right. While me and Eli lobby for fewer seconds

on the clock, we're going to close out the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Dad calendars. And when we go, well, now I'm going to cry. And when we come back, Mormons will shit on everybody's party some more. Hi, I'm Senator Lindsey Graham. And I'm Sarah Huckabee Sanders. If you're like us, you can no longer dine in public for fear of being held responsible for your actions.

But that doesn't mean you can't eat great. Thanks to Blue Apron. Blue Apron delivers farm-fresh ingredients and steps-by-steps recipes to your door. Which is good. In case like me, whenever you go outside, villagers gather to scare you with torches and stuff. Hey, those are good people. I like them. Wrong. No. Wrong guys with torches. Oh, okay. So

whether you're looking for a quick and easy meal or a full culinary cooking experience, Blue Apron lets you choose from a range of recipe options without someone walking over to your table at IHOP and explaining that you managed to be so evil that the very side of you is worthy of action. So just listen to these mouth-watering

selections. For example, seared steaks and homemade steak sauce. Delicious. Stir-fried sweet chili chicken. Tomato and basil pesto pizza. Yeah. Please stop doing that. Okay. And the knowledge that you'll go down in history as close to a Nazi as this period in history will allow. I think the last one is just us. But it gets better. Just in case you'll never,

ever hold a job again, you can check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free at blueapron.com slash scathing. That's blueapron.com slash scathing to get your first three meals free. Blue Apron, a better way to cook. Arby's said they'd leave the dumpster unlocked if I promised to come by at night. You want in, Lindsay? Totally. Excellent. Last week, we discussed a blatant Johnson Amendment violation from the Mormon Church,

and we dug into Mormon history to figure out why that's entirely unexceptional. But of course, since Mormon history is so fucked up and dripping with blood, we barely made it to last century before we ran out of time. So rejoining me for the rest of the story this week is Bryce Blankenegel, the lentil-scented host of the Naked Mormonism podcast. Bryce, welcome back. I feel like lentils actually smell pretty good. It depends on how they're spiced.

That's the thing. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Soup generally. I let you get through all of last week without a single soup reference. I had to. Eli was going to be pissed if I did it again this week. All right.

I've decided to just embrace it. There's no need fighting it anymore. Yeah. You know, like I said, soup smells good. I mean, you know, they bring the soup. It's always like, oh, that smells so good. I don't know. It's not, you know, it's not an insult.

All right. It's a compliment. Thank you, Eli. Yeah. So for the listeners who weren't tuned in last week or have really short memories, can you catch up on what we've already covered? Yeah. So we just discovered the history of how Utah came to be what it is today. We set the entire political landscape that shaped Utah. And, you know, Joe

started meddling in politics a few years before his death, and then bloody Brigham Young took that to its, what can I say, illogical conclusion. So Utah was just founded as a theocracy, and Mormonism has only partially and incrementally ceded ground since utah became a state in 1896 and that's only been at the behest of incredible amounts of secular government and you know grassroots opposition yeah right no we had to yank out a few fingernails to get them there okay so how is all of this relevant to a medical marijuana bill that's on the Utah ballot in November. Well, the truth is, when we look at the near two-century history of Mormonism, it's only begrudgingly been beholden to or limited by the laws of the land. You know, public declarations are rife throughout Mormon history that they

follow the laws of the land, but they also said that they were no longer practicing polygamy in 1890, and dozens more polygamous marriages were formed from then until the Second Manifesto, which was more than a decade later. I mean, Mormon leadership has an incredible habit of saying one thing and doing not necessarily the opposite, but just whatever the fuck it wants behind those closed doors. Right. So, Gordon B. Hinckley, this is a prophet from the mid-90s to the mid-aughts, famously said, quote, we urge our people to exercise their franchise as citizens of this nation, but we do not tell them how to vote, and we do not tell the government how to be run, end quote.

And then the entire UN laughs at them, yeah. More or less. And every woke ex-Mormon out there is like, oh, fuck you. I grew up in Utah. So he said that, but that's a brazenly dishonest statement and it completely ignores the history and the modern culture of Utah. And what I mean by that is it's really hard to get elected to any office in Utah without being a church broke Mormon. And I will ring this drum as often as I can. The first question that every politician who's running for office in Utah should be asked, are you church broke? And if the answer to that is anything other than no, then they are not qualified for secular office. So, I mean, trying to get appointed to a justice in a rural town in Utah without being Mormon,

I mean, tough shit. Every office from governor to your local dog catcher for all of Utah history has been occupied almost exclusively by Mormons. And I should point out, because I was looking into this before we, you know, I was just doing some Googling on like how many non-Mormon senators have they had and everything. And as soon as you mention this around a Mormon apologist, they get all huffy and puffy. And the first thing they do is they reach into their bag of tricks and they pull out a bunch of non-mormon territorial governors and they're like look at all these non-mormons but they leave out the fact that those were the ones that were appointed by the federal government to tamp down on mormon theocracy and that like they went to war

over those people right yeah that just that gets left out it's all of this just completely absent of the context and understanding even today's culture in Utah. You see it every single day. You just have to live in Utah for more than a week to understand. Okay, so how does the church steer the politics? I mean, do they just like send out a voter guide from the church or how do they steer things? No, they're very careful not to leave a paper trail, right? steer things. No, they're very careful not to leave a paper trail, right?

The church doesn't need to exert influence like that on like particular bills usually because every Mormon in these government positions knows the church's stance on any given subject and they legislate and rule based on those collective cultural values. So it doesn't have to be overt of the church, you know, sending out an email and people in urging their members to vote one way or another. It's that every Mormon in Utah views the world through a specific lens

and the church happens to be the crafter of that lens. Utah politics for Utah's entire history have been almost exclusively the undertaking of Mormons who are seeking to build this idea, this Zion, the new Jerusalem. I mean, from bishop to apostle and sheriff to congressperson, everything in Utah for its entire history has been moved or shaped somehow by Mormonism. The Mormon church is the single most influential lobbying arm in Utah, and Mormons are dramatically overrepresented in national politics as well. Oh, yes.

Yeah. Orrin Hatch, he's one of the most staunch defenders of Brett Kavanaugh and Clarence Thomas regarding Anita Hill, of course. He birthed the decrepit and completely fucked tax bill, and he's the longest serving Republican senator in American history and a Mormon. You also have Mike Lee, Mike Crapo, Harry Reid, Jeff Flake, Jason Chaffetz, Rob Bishop, Tom Udall, Mike Levin, and a number of other extremely recognizable politicians, all of them Mormon.

John Huntsman, American ambassador to Russia, is a Mormon. And the church is currently building a temple in Russia. No collusion. Mitt Romney is a shoe-in for Utah's next senator because, well, Orrin Hatch is stepping down this year. And he's a serious contender for the 2020 POTUS ballot, especially because he opposed Donald Trump. I mean, really, a reasonable argument could be made that Mormonism and Mormons have influenced more national

politics than any other single Christian denomination in all of American history. And that is a huge fucking statement. When I first saw that, I was like, no, no, come on. But then when you start looking at the history there, like you said, especially in comparison to the percentage of people that are actually Mormons, that if you look at it on a per capita basis

that's undeniable yeah they have like i believe that there's about six percent of politicians who are openly mormon in in our our national sphere right now but mormonism only represents like less than 1.5 percent of the population here. Wow. So they're dramatically overrepresented, whereas, you know, atheists are, you know, it depends on what poll you're looking at, anywhere from 15 to 25% are, you know, the nuns. And there is, there's what, two politicians who are, you know, atheists?

It's insane. The discrepancy is painful here. And add into all of that, that's the politicians of it. But there are even like some of the crazy bastards who took over that bird sanctuary in oregon were mormon one of them called himself fucking captain moroni why not just general hitler i mean seriously you read the book of mormon you know moroni story but honestly take notice people mormonism is a force to fucking be

contended with well right and we tend to lose sight of that fact because they've done such a good job of pretending that it's all about minivans and and and bake sales and shit but for the record sleeper cells yeah the mormons are still waiting for the federal government to collapse so they can rise from its ashes like a theocratic phoenix and remember how well that went for europe all right so let's move on to this medical marijuana proposition my guess is that the mormon church which insisted for years that bars have screens so that mormons wouldn't have to watch alcohol being poured is against it am i right yeah yeah so let's let's get into some of the details of prop 2 here it is opposed by dozens

of private organizations and senators politicians may, mayors, congresspeople, past and present. And then Curtin McConkie, which is the law firm for the church and, quite frankly, way overfunded and extremely powerful. They drafted a line-by-line fear-mongering statement about Prop 2, which was outlined and published on Mormon Newsroom. You know, Curt McConkie drafts most of their public statements. Now, here are the arguments that are in opposition to this. It is, it'll destroy our children, of course. Only potheads want it, and all the medical patients in support of it are just simply hired goons. And then, of course, another argument is that if we have

medicinal cannabis it's going to pave the way for recreational pot now that last point is actually true but alcohol is legal and it ruins millions of people's lives so that's just fucking stupid yeah so here's a quote from the the church's statement on it uh quote or sorry this is from the the proposition to page on ballotpedia uh the utah medical marijuana initiative is neither needed as a practical matter nor good public policy generally the truth is the utah medical marijuana initiative is a ruse being perpetrated by utah libertarians and radicalized potheads across the country an oxymoron if i've ever heard right i was

gonna say potheads can do a lot of shit but radicalized not so much man regardless of the good people these deceivers front as medically needy the dc lobbyists at the marijuana policy project old hippies at normal and our own own liberty-loving kooks at the Libertas Institute feign a non-existent morality, some pot-induced moral code that only consuming marijuana will appease. Let me be as blunt as I can. You see what he did there? You see what he did there? That's clever.

That's clever. You must be high to think this initiative is a good idea. Wow. Well, it takes balls to come out so strongly against liberty, but I guess when you own the state, you own the fucking state, right? Really, the Mormon church said

it would be alright with a bill that allowed for medicinal cannabis to be sold by prescription only through an approved pharmacy. But that's not how any state has done medicinal cannabis so far. Every other state have done dispensaries because cannabis requires a lot of space to grow and to process it.

Yeah, right. You can't just order it from Pfizer, right? Yeah, exactly. But a bill might pass in Utah which allows medicinal cannabis instead of just CBD oil, as is currently legal in Utah. But the problem still remains that there's no legal method to acquire the cannabis, which makes it effectively illegal. Yeah, legal to buy but illegal to sell is not a meat-in-the-middle compromise here. in the middle compromise here and especially when they they in the 2014 law said that people can have low thc but high cbd cannabis oil they just have to buy it from an approved dispensary and then they just don't build those dispensaries it makes it effectively illegal right it's like the stamp act that originally made marijuana illegal it was never or wasn't illegal originally to own

it you just had to have a federal tax stamp which they didn't print any of. Exactly. And now it's classified as a Schedule I drug, which, fuck you. Of course, the major issue here with the Curtin-McConkie statement about the negative impact of the

cannabis bill is that it does make a few good points. And I'll just illustrate one, for example, it says that there's no tracking of a patient's medical state after the prescription. That's fair because if a state is going to implement cannabis for medicinal purposes, and then there isn't any monitoring of overall health effects after that, science isn't being done on this schedule one drug. So that's a fair criticism. But tons of studies exist about the benefits of cannabis,

but the fact of the matter is that it's still a Schedule I drug and still needs a lot more study, and most of the current studies lack rigor in some respect. And there's always millions of cannabis proponents who are saying it's a wonder drug. Right, it cures cancer and every other fucking thing you can imagine. Yeah, uh-huh. But the rest of the points that Curtin-McConkie makes about this bill, they're all fear-mongering or complete

bullshit with no factual basis. Yeah, so let me just chime in here to say hand-wringing about radicalized potheads and liberty-loving kooks aside, I do agree that the whole medical marijuana thing is a bit of a canard. Right. There are very few. I think there's only one actual legitimate medical use for for marijuana.

But but no real medicine is prescribed in unknown quantities with unknown potency the way that medical marijuana is. It's a backdoor to recreational use. And I'm not a big fan of that compromise. That being said, it's better than sending people to jail right and that's the only possible way to legalize to any degree in the nation's most conservative state so you know i'll hold my nose through it so now with such a a vocal mormon opposition to it is there anyone in utah that's actually supporting this bill yeah so prompt two is supported by truce uh the utah patients coalition the salt lake county district attorney because salt lake this bill? Yeah, so Prop 2 is supported by Truce, the Utah Patients Coalition, the Salt Lake County District Attorney, because Salt

Lake is a little tiny bright blue dot among a sea of red in Utah, and then also the Libertas Institute. And the Libertas Institute is a libertarian institute, but, you know, sometimes libertarians can be right about some, you know, some ideas of liberty. And there are a number of other proponents, and this is what

the Libertas Institute said. They said, quote, we've done a magnificent job of giving a point-by-point rebuttal of the Curtin-McConkie slanted and biased analysis of the Utah Medical Cannabis Act. The Mormon Church noted that patients could deceptively acquire

a medical marijuana card by telling their doctors they have chronic pain when they don't the libertas institute reported this will of course happen it does currently with opiates right right and that's important to remember it's not like we're choosing between medical marijuana and nothing it's it's between that and more dangerous shit that you can already get right it's a habit forming herb that you smoke or consume as opposed to chemically narcotic opiates

that fuck people's lives. Yeah. So to be clear, as I said earlier, low THC CBD oil is legal in Utah. That was passed in 2014, but it didn't provide any way for people to legally acquire the oil. So on the books, medicinal cannabis is legal

in Utah, but in fact, nobody can acquire it, which renders it illegal. So that's kind of the crux of the issue and why Prop 2 is being pushed through right now. Okay, so how's the fight shaking out as of now? Well, it is kind of interesting to try and view the entire political landscape in Utah because campaigning for Prop 2 has amounted to roughly $761,000 at the time we're recording this in support of the bill and a mere $167,000 in opposition of it. Oh, wow. And 87% of that opposition funding has come from one Walter J. Plum III, who is a staunch Mormon Republican

with an incredible amount of influence in Utah politics. Now, in spite of more than four and a half times the campaign financing, the bill is probably going to die solely because the Mormon church sent that email, quote unquote, urging Utahns to vote against Prop 2. Wow.

The single largest lobbying force in Utah. So should we be surprised the church urged its members to vote no on this medicinal cannabis bill coming up in November? I mean, the leadership grew up during Reefer Madness. The current prophet just turned 90 fucking four. His grandparents were born in the 1860s in Utah, 35 years before it was a state. Wow.

Yeah, well, because if there's anybody you can trust to know what the modern world needs, it's a guy that was born before we had penicillin and talkies. Jesus. I mean, really, if anybody wants to know what a theocracy in America looks like, pick up a Utah history book. Get Blood of the Prophets on audiobook and just sit back in awe and wonder of all of the horrific shit that Mormons have done throughout Utah history. But to end on, you know, I don't want

to drag everybody down through the mud here. So let's end on a positive note. You guys have been to Salt Lake City recently, right? Yeah. Yeah. And despite what Eli would have you believe, it's more than just good avocado toast. Oh, yes. Lots of beautiful, great and spacious buildings, right? Salt Lake City has an adolescent counterculture growing. In 2016, they elected their first openly gay mayor.

The further you travel from Salt Lake City, the more conservative it gets, but that little blue dot is slowly infecting the nearby major cities, and it will continue to spread. A lot of millennials are fed up with shit stunts like Proposition 8 in California, you know, the opposition to gay marriage,

and now with this most recent opposition with Prop 2, Mormons are waking up. And what that means is someday in the future, Mormonism will no longer be a majority in Utah. But that's only come after more than a century and a half of secular society incrementally wrestling power out of their greedy fucking theocratic paws. All current statistics show the church is bleeding young people. When the old fuck generation dies off, nobody will be there to replace them. But

let's temper that optimism. The great monolith won't give up without a continued fight. And this fight will be perpetuated by nearly infinite resources from arguably the most wealthy religion in the world. And it's also worth noting the fucking Mormons outlive everybody else because they don't drink or smoke or any fucking thing.

Yeah. All right. So, yeah, I mean, I actually looked into this. The most recent numbers I found show that nearly 40% of Utahns are non-Mormon. And in Salt Lake City, they're less than a percent over the majority. It's like 50.3%. So, yeah, there's a silver lining here. Yeah, so really, like, the counterculture is growing, and it's only going to continue to grow as the demographic of nuns nationwide continues to grow.

So, Utah listeners, vote yes on Prop 2, all right? And now, of course, that's my opinion and not that of Scaling Atheist or Puzzling a Thunderstorm's LLC. That's coming from Bryce Blankenagle. So that's coming from Bryce Blankenagle. So vote yes on Prop 2, everybody. Well, actually, you know what? We pay our taxes here at Puzzle and a Thunderstorm. So, yeah, we're allowed to say it.

Also, that is the position of Scathing Atheist and Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC. Awesome. And when you show up at your Utah polling station, you look those Mormons in the eye and you tell them Noah sent you. Yes, indeed. And also keep an eye on your news feed for anything about Utah and medicinal cannabis. I mean, the story is constantly developing. And when this airs, it's probably already changed since we recorded it. So just keep an eye out.

And now hopefully everybody's a bit informed on exactly all of the forces that are at play in Utah right now. Awesome. Well, Bryce, thanks so much for dropping all this knowledge on us. And I'm looking forward to seeing you across the pond, bro. Yeah, for sure. And likewise, I mean, I just did a breakdown of the sentient post-fucked American pie Orrin Hatch on Glassbox podcast just to illustrate how Mormons have infiltrated the highest ranks of national politics. Zion is coming, people. Get some food storage or make sure that you're close enough to the blast zone like me.

You know, Seattle's pretty great. So, yeah, I look forward to seeing you at QED, man. Awesome. Well, once again, if you want to learn more about the baffling, bloody, bigamous history of Mormonism, be sure to check out Bryce's serial history show, Naked Mormonism, which we'll have linked once more in the show notes. And Bryce, thanks again for hanging out. As always, thank you, Noah. It's really a pleasure to

come on here. We believe in nothing. Yeah, we believe in nothing. Before we nip over to England, I want to thank everybody in America in advance for holding down the foot while we're gone and try not to let Trump tweet anything while I'm over there. OK, last time I was there, I spent a week assuring all the Brits that we'd never be dumb enough to elect that man president. And then America made me look bad. So better job this time. OK, also, last chance to get tickets to see us in London is the day this episode comes out.

Be sure to check the show notes. Platinum Night has sold out, I believe, but we still have some general admission tickets available, and we'd love to see you there. Anyway, that's all the Blast movie we've got for you tonight, but we'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show's hot friend, Godawful Movies, debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern on Tuesday,

and an even newer episode of our half-sister show, Citation Needed, debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, I need to extend my deepest gratitudes to Heath Enright and my whitest gratitudes to Eli Bosnick. I want to apologize for the relative lack of Lucinda on this week's show. It's been crazy getting everything ready for the trip. Speaking of which, next week's show will be a little different than usual. It won't be quite as topical,

but we do have some fun stuff pre-recorded. Things will be back to normal on episode 296, and Twim will make its triumphant return there. I also want to thank Adam, pilot of the other words that he said. I'm sorry, bro. I tried several times. The pilot of something with jeans and green in there. Also want to thank Adam, pilot of the other words that he said. I'm sorry, bro. I just tried several times the pilot of something with jeans and green in there.

I'm pretty sure one of the words at least wasn't English, though. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's best people, though I can't quite name them just yet because I'm recording this outro in advance, and I can't tell you I'll thank them next week because I'm recording that week's outro immediately after I get done with this one, but I will thank you by name on episode 296, the aforementioned normal one.

Anyway, the point here is that we love those people because they give us money. And if you'd like us to love you, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingadeus, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode. Or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the Donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingadeus.com. And if you'd like to help but you're saving up for that doggie in the window, you can also help us a ton in the meantime by liking us on Facebook, leaving us a five-star review somewhere, and or telling a friend about the show. Legal services for this podcast are provided by the law offices of P. Andrew Torres. Tim Robertson handles our social media when he's

not in Facebook jail for making Hitler jokes. And our audio engineer is Morgan Clark, who also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at skatingadeus.com. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle & Thunderstorm LLC, copyright 2018, all rights reserved.