The Scathing Atheist - 400: Quadricentennial Edition

Episode Date: October 15, 2020

In this week’s episode, Clarence Thomas has a REALLY convoluted plan to get out of his marriage, Tall Tyler crushes up a fetus in some peanut butter to cure Donald Trump's COVID, and a Catholic priest will have sex with consenting adults. --- To buy our book, “Outbreak: A Crisis of Faith - How Religion Ruined Our Global Pandemic”, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic-ebook/dp/B08KWN3VKF --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Headlines: Nashville Covid-fest: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/10/12/christian-preacher-sean-feucht-holds-covid-super-spreader-concert-in-nashville/ Judge: NY Can Restrict Worship to Limit COVID, Despite Orthodox Jews’ Complaints: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/10/10/judge-ny-can-restrict-worship-to-limit-covid-despite-orthodox-jews-complaints/ If Marriage Equality is Overturned by SCOTUS, Interracial Marriages May Be Next: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/10/11/if-marriage-equality-is-overturned-by-scotus-interracial-marriages-may-be-next/ Catholic Priest arrested over public threesome: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/10/09/priest-arrested-after-getting-caught-filming-sex-with-two-women-on-church-altar/ Remember That the GOP’s Child Separation Policy Was Justified with Bible Verses: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/10/07/remember-that-the-gops-child-separation-policy-was-justified-with-bible-verses/ Italian teenager could be first millennial saint: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-54507064 Satanists Ask Supreme Court to Take Up Their Faith-Based Abortion Case: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/10/07/satanists-ask-supreme-court-to-take-up-their-faith-based-abortion-case/ Baptist Preacher Caught Yelling “White Power!” After Speaking at Trump Rally: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/09/24/baptist-preacher-caught-yelling-white-power-after-speaking-at-trump-rally/ IL GOP State Rep. Caught on Tape Making Racist, Anti-Gay Comments About Opponent: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/09/24/il-gop-state-rep-caught-on-tape-making-racist-anti-gay-comments-about-opponent/ Rick Wiles blames Gretchen Whitmer for being so damn kidnappable: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/10/10/rick-wiles-blames-gov-gretchen-whitmer-for-making-those-men-want-to-kidnap-her/ Trump’s COVID Drugs Relied on Cells That Originally Came from an Aborted Fetus: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/10/08/trumps-covid-drugs-relied-on-cells-that-originally-came-from-an-aborted-fetus/ --- This Week in Misogyny: Senator Gary Peters on the importance of legally protected abortion: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/10/13/sen-gary-peters-opens-up-about-how-abortion-may-have-saved-his-wifes-life/ Roman fetus burials without consent: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/10/09/in-rome-women-are-burying-aborted-fetuses-without-getting-the-mothers-consent/ One million moms pissed about bleep in hot sauce ad: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2020/10/12/angry-christian-mom-condemns-irresponsible-and-offensive-hot-sauce-ad/

Warning, if you don't want to hear the word fuck, it's already too late. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by Honey, Hymns, and by Outbreak, A Crisis of Faith, How Religion Ruined Our Global Pandemic, a book that would have been a really original thriller if it had been fiction. Outbreak, A Crisis of Faith, by No Illusions, withrew torres available now on the kindle store and now the skating atheist puzzle in a thunderstorm podcasts are how i stay sane thank you guys so much for giving voice to the frustrations we carry around with us hi this is paul from glasgow and the screensaver from my brain is you can buy drugs from us at reason calm you guys are so funny you're so great

and you really helped me through a very dark time in my life leaving religion getting over the bullshit that they put me through thank you so so so much from the bottom of my heart all the best for another 400 from david watt in edinburgh my name is Sam, and last year I was stuck in a Catholic hospital for about a month, and I think your show gave me the courage to tell them to fuck off every time they tried to proselytize to me. So, in short, we did in fact evolve from filthy monkey men. It's Thursday. It's October 15th. And it's episode 400, motherfucker!

Oh, yeah! I'm no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heath Enright. And from Mike, the Situation Sorrentino's New Jersey, Cincinnati Swing State, and Good Husband Georgia, this is The Scathing Atheist. On this week's episode, Clarence Thomas has a really convoluted plan to get out of his marriage. Tall Tyler crushes up a fetus in some peanut butter to cure Donald Trump's COVID.

That's how it works. And a Catholic priest will fuck consenting adults. Ooh. But first, the diatribe. Once every 400 episodes. Yeah, exactly. Right. Yeah, exactly. but first the diatribe once every 400 episodes exactly right yeah exactly and i'll tell you what watching trump get covid really made me jealous for a minute of the people who believe in hell.

Like normally when atheists think about how we think about all the negative shit involved in fearing one might go there oneself for one's loved ones could go there for the, you know, petulant crime of atheism. But there are two sides to that coin, of course. Well, Christians very rarely admit it. It's got to be damn nice to believe that the people who piss you off are going to have their skin melted off by a demon forever. I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't believe that anybody has ever or could ever do something so bad they deserve hell. By hell, you mean the typical Christian definition where one is tortured for eternity. No finite crime can justify an infinite punishment. That being said,

the idea of divine justice is damn appealing. I mean, obviously, it's got to be nice to believe that when you die, you're going to be rewarded in the afterlife, but from time to time, it's also got to be every bit as nice to believe that the assholes of the world have a healthy dollop of punishment coming their way, too. And watching

my news feed obsessively after that pumpkin-colored asshole was flown to Walter Reed had me reflecting on that a lot. in their way too and watching my news feed obsessively after that pumpkin colored asshole was flown to Walter Reed had me reflecting on that a lot I mean I know a lot of people were probably rooting for him to just die and honestly if you want to minimize suffering that's probably the right thing to root for but I didn't want that I wanted him to suffer for his crimes and dead people can't suffer of course as we all, he almost certainly won't suffer either, and he definitely won't suffer commensurate with his crimes. Right. There is only a vanishingly small chance that he'll wind up in prison and an even lower chance that he's going to wind up penniless and uninsured and sucking off Mexican immigrants to afford his overpriced medicine. Well, his children rot in cages, which is what it would take to make it commensurate.

You know, I don't even think there's a legal term for sentencing people to that. And that's sad, right? It would be damn comforting to know that justice wasn't merely possible, but guaranteed, inescapable. Sure, he might avoid judgment in this world, but after he died, he would still have to account for his sins. I mean, I know it's weird to think of hell as a comforting thought, but it very clearly is.

It's very clearly comforting to think that everything works out like a Disney story, even if Act 3 happens post-mortem. You know, atheists forget about that sometimes. When we think about what religious people get for their tithes, we think about the fear of death and how comforting that promise of immortality is. Right? We think about the fear of death and how comforting that promise of immortality is. We think about the fear of an impersonal universe and how much nicer it must feel to think the universe cares about them and is willing to bend the laws of physics on their behalf now and again. We think about how overwhelming the randomness of one's fate can be and how soothing it must be to tell oneself that it's all part of some divine plan.

When we address hell at all, it's usually just to toss an uncomfortable part of their theology back in their faces but hell is a promise to the dues-paying christian just as much as heaven and we overlook that to our detriment see the most effective way to make atheists isn't through any argument it's by replacing the shit they needed religion for in the first place really the better and more broadly available modern medicine gets the less people rely on prayer for like the first place really the better and more broadly available modern medicine gets the less people rely on prayer for like the health of themselves or their loved ones yeah i mean they might still offer prayers because that's the nice thing to do when somebody's sick but they don't rely on it now eventually the medicine reaches its limit and since the prayers are bullshit they're limitless you know they don't work but they also don't admit that so once science has

gone as far as it can a lot of people turn to the metaphysical You know, they don't work, but they also don't admit that. So once science has gone as far as it can, a lot of people turn to the metaphysical version, even though it doesn't work. Obviously, the better the medicine gets, the fewer people that'll have to do that. And this is true across the board. People have an innate need to understand the world around them.

The better and more accessible scientific answers can be, the less often people will have to settle for the religious answers that don't work. But eventually, you do reach a limit. No matter how much we learn, there will always be a frontier of our knowledge. And that's where religion can step in and offer up some bullshit that doesn't work. Along the way, you hit this important threshold, right? It exists in different places for different people, of course. But there's a point way before infinite knowledge where a human can satisfy themselves with scientific answers and not resort to religious ones. I mean, obviously

there is, because for you and I, that point has already been reached. And the key to spreading atheism farther is bringing more people to that point. For some people, it's just a matter of teaching them the answers that we already know. For other people, we're going to actually have to move our knowledge further along. But the goal is to reach that line. And intuitively, we know that. That's how we try to combat religion instinctively, by offering up better answers. But we have to recognize that across the board, it's not enough to satisfy just a person's need for knowledge. They also need control over their lives. That's why religion is so much more prevalent in poorer countries and poorer states. People forced to live in poverty don't have enough control over their lives and can't get all this swell modern medicine and shit.

And so they're more likely to settle for the metaphysical version that doesn't work. The lie that offers them control and instead controls them. To make a world right for atheists, you have to make a humanist world. You have to offer people these things and you have to get them across these lines. You have to give them knowledge. Yes, you have to give them control. Absolutely. But you also have to give them justice. Because if they're forced to live in a world without it, they'll choose the metaphysical version that doesn't work. If they aren't afforded a fair chance in life and they see cheats and liars and hedonistic pieces of shit like Trump constantly escaping justice, they will give up on the secular

version. You know, a lot of people tell me social justice isn't an atheist issue. The hell it isn't. social justice isn't an atheist issue. The hell it isn't. It's just harder, you know, than most of our problems are to solve. It's a harder issue. And so a lot of atheists are inclined to hide from it. And you know what?

That's their choice. I guess doing most of the job is better than doing none of the job. But if you get in the way of the people who are trying to do this part, you're not even helping anymore. You're just getting in the way.

They're talking about you, Jesus. I interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are the Pulitzer and Booker to my Nobel Prize in Literature, Heath Enright and Eli Bosnick. Fellas, do you think the new book gets all three, or do you think their nominating committees are anti-atheist bigots? I don't know. Nobel is cool.

You got, what, Kissinger, Obama, Trump. The nomination process is pretty fair, right? committees are anti-atheist bigots oh no no bell is cool you got what kissinger obama trump the nomination process is pretty fair right they all belong in that coincidentally also my fuck mary kill list just it's the horn rimmed glasses i get it i get it all right so while you visualize eli fucking henry kissinger we're going to pause for a word from this week's first sponsor, Honey. Looks like 40% off. Hard to tell. The guy's standing in front of the sign, but I think it's 40. Well, then tell me when he moves. Hey, Eli, have you seen my...

Guys, what did I say about trying to see people naked with my telescope? You said call you for the attractive ones. Call you for the attractive ones. But we're not using it for that. We're using it to shop for deals. I'm sorry. You're using using it to shop for deals. I'm sorry, you're using my telescope to shop for deals. Yeah, we can see the gap

from here and Walmart. So we're checking out all the discounts. Yeah, and if we spy a deal, we just head online and make our purchases. Well, why don't you guys just use honey? Well, because you said no sticky stuff around the telescope after the mango nectar incident. No, no, honey honey you get honey on your computer for free and two easy clicks by going to join honey

dot com slash scathing then when you're checking out on one of its over 30 000 supported sites honey pops up and all you have to do is click apply coupons wait a second as honey searches for coupons for that site if honey finds working, it applies all the best ones to your card. Wait, and it's free? 100% free. I recently used Honey to replace one of my controllers for my Oculus Quest, and I saved 15 bucks. Nice. It's simple.

If you have a computer, Honey should be on it. It's free and works with whatever browser you use. You can get Honey for free today at joinhoney.com slash scathing. That's joinhoney.com slash scathing. Now give me back the telescope. I want to look at space stuff. Oh, but space doesn't have boobs. Well,

technically space has infinite boobs. You know what I meant. And now back to the headlines. In our lead story tonight, Christian preacher Sean fucked? It can't be fucked. It's gotta be fucked. And now back to the headlines. In our lead story tonight, Christian preacher Sean Fecht. Fucked? It can't be fucked. It's got to be fucked.

It looks like fucked. We're saying fucked. We're going with fucked. All right. Christian preacher Sean Fecht. The launch event for our new book. Just in case the homicidal negligence of Christian leaders in the face of the pandemic was in danger of, you know, falling out of the news cycle for a minute. Fact gathered an estimated 90 to 100

thousand people to a maskless shoulder-to-shoulder concert on the courthouse steps in Nashville. Fact your face. Yeah, right. He tweeted out a video clip of the biological warfare own goal along with a defiant proclamation that all caps quote, the church

will not be silenced flame emoji flame emoji flame emoji very serious very serious hashtag let us worship end quote not adding okay well the ones on ventilators will be silenced but the rest of us will be loud also

I'd like to add eggplant clap hands avocado motherfucker that's go fuck yourself you basic just to be clear that's what I was saying to add eggplant clap hands avocado motherfucker that's go fuck yourself you basic just to be clear that's what I was saying to him see the nice thing is as contractration gets more advanced and as more and more people die of COVID soon you'll just get like an iPhone

alert about whether or not they deserved it they can get a sticker on their chart yeah right right now there is some good news out of this when I said estimated 90 to 100,000 people i neglected to mention that fact was doing the estimating there right and if that's accurate the the picture he sent out cleverly hid at least half of those motherfuckers still like four or five thousand people gathering in the ninth most confident festive state for a big you know breathe

on one another festival is plenty to be pissed about. All the more so since he had just done the same fucking thing in Atlanta a couple of days earlier. Yeah. And he's not even running for reelection. Right. Yeah. He doesn't even have a Dr. Lyon for his ass. Now, in a fucking Freeman on the land effort to make the gathering legal fact called it a protest but according to nashville's metro public health department he neither applied for nor received a permit for the gathering so apparently he thinks legality is all in which magic words you utter on twitter i said protest right noun yeah in the fucking real universe n has restricted gatherings to 25 people or fewer

irrespective of nomenclature and the city has expressed an interest in pursuing quote appropriate penalties against the organizer end quote and as reassuring as that is it's also the fucking point from facts perspective right because then he can pretend to be oppressed and he can

cast a fuck in because making religious people play by the same rules as everybody else is persecution. Also, winky face, eggplant, sad face, lemon, lemon, motherfucker. That's fuck your face and I squeeze lemons in your eye

afterwards. Oh, all right. Interesting. See, I was thinking since the quote appropriate penalty is to make him sleep in a COVID ward with nothing but a crucifix for protection and medical care. I don't think they're going to follow through anyway. So. Right. Yeah.

And by the way, just in case you need more reason to hate fact, he ran for Congress as a Republican this year and is a big Trump booster. And if you need extra ammunition to, I don't know, make fun of him on your podcast, he's affiliated with Bethel Church in Redding, California, also known as Christian Hogwarts. That's right. Christian fucking Hogwarts, the safety school for Bob Jones University. Also, a bunch of people who think they can suck power out of graves holding a series of super spreader viral events on the opposite side of the country from themselves, huh? So it's actually starting to sound a bit like

a Harry Potter plot, except it's not derivative of some earlier fantasy story that I'm aware of. But it does have the same amount of transphobia. No, that's true, right. Yeah, exactly. Pluses and fucking minuses. And in Junie to cut it the fuck out news.

In a shocking turn of events for 2020, this week, a judge has ruled that getting, spreading, and dying of the pandemic you caused is not a protected part of religious freedom, which allowed New York State to institute new rules that limit in-person worship services to as few as 10 people in COVID hotspots, or

as they're known in New York State, Orthodox Jewish community. Right, exactly. The fact that you're the only ones fucking this up so bad doesn't make it persecution. No, it's not. If you draw a circle on a map, and it just happens to be a 100% Orthodox Jewish area, exactly a plague epicenter, and it covers exactly zero dollars in property tax, that's not geometry being a bigot. That's just data.

So yeah, for those who have been following along, New York's Orthodox communities have been working their hardest since the pandemic start in March to make that medieval anti-Semitic rumor that the Jews started the plague a matter of fact. And they are crushing it. Fucking rats are watching us on the news and being like, little much. So they reacted to this latest round of restrictions with a week of mask list. And if I may say so myself, incredibly pale protests. I mean, they might as well have ended the march at the city's water supply.

Exactly. Side note, and you can follow this rabbit hole if you want to. It's in the show notes. Part of these protests included a hilarious Jew fight between the disease spreaders and a reporter for the Jewish Insider, which I'm pretty sure a Nazi puppet show would have called a little bit much. It's really good. If you want to watch a Jew fight, it's pretty fantastic. But as I said, Judge Kiyo A. Matsumoto of Federal District Court in Brooklyn ruled in favor of sanity. So while we can't hope these communities will listen,

they might at least face consequences when they don't. And that's how you know it isn't a story about Christians. Yeah, exactly. As for the Jews in question, Rabbi Chaim David Zwiebel, executive vice president of the Agadeth Israel, said of the ruling, quote, this ruling is disappointing to say the least. Of course, we understand the importance of taking precautionary measures against COVID-19.

What does of course mean to you, Chaim? But there are ways to do so without totally disrupting our ability to use our shuls, end quote. Except no, you fucking don't. In fact, you so fucking don't. New York State had to roll back openings specifically because of you and then you sued the state to stop them.

That's the opposite of understanding the importance of taking precautionary measures against COVID. So, you know, fuck your stupid beardy face. Lemon, lemon. Also, your middle name rhymes with COVID. That's not making it better. It's true.

But in fairness to Judaism in general, about 450 New York rabbis signed a letter that said, thank you, Governor Cuomo and Mayor de Blasio for using data-driven, geographically-based efforts to contain the plague. Heath was right about how geometry can't be a bigot.

And Eli was right about fucking their stupid face. So how many rabbis could there possibly be in New York? That's probably a significant percentage. Lemon, lemon. And next up in headlines, in a tiny bit of good news, Kim Davis will continue getting sued for being a malignant C word. Christian is after the Supreme Court denied her request for magical government immunity from an obscure anti-discrimination law called the 14th Amendment.

She didn't want to be involved with that. Despite the court having five soon to be, Christian right bigots on it, they responded by telling Davis to go fuck her face in Latin and refused to even hear the case. But that didn't stop Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito from putting together a

concurring dissension, I guess, to the nothing. The court ruled nothing. They ruled that they're not even going to rule on that. Yeah. And then Clarence Thomas wrote a little essay that said,

oh yeah, speaking of the nothing, Christians are still being persecuted by the lack of separate gay bakeries and separate gay water fountains. I'm the only black person on the court. I'm making Thurgood Marshall proud. End of my stupid fucking essay. And then Alito signed the card because he helped too.

Well, yeah, or he was looking to bolster a future some of my best friends are argument. We can't honestly say which is more likely at this point. But tune in next week where both of them will really dig in on how many generations of imbeciles is enough. They're going to get it.

I think it's five just in case it wasn't super clear just how bigoted they are thomas and alito very specifically mentioned in their nothing addendum that the christian theocrat wing of the court is going to overturn obergefell and let states outlaw same-sex marriage as soon as absolutely possible they're going to try to do that. And thanks to everyone who didn't vote for Hillary Clinton. Yes, literally everyone who did not vote for Hillary Clinton.

This is your fault. They won't even need a vote from John Roberts. You know, the super woke liberal nominated by George W. Bush, who's the chief justice. And they might be able to do the same thing

with Roe v. Wade. Are going to do it. And just in case it wasn't obvious, the Congressional Free Thought Caucus and also any other reasonable people who thought about this for half a second pointed out how the same logic being used to potentially reverse Obergefell could be used to legalize discrimination against, you know, interfaith couples and interracial couples yeah right right and and quick tell me how one won't lead to the other right after you're done telling me how legal exemptions around aborto fashion contraceptions won't lead to legal exemptions to all birth control and how well you know rebuilding their playground with government funds won't lead to rebuilding the pews with the same did tell me that all together again three for three and then bend over close so I can do the lemon thing. Or, or, maybe this is all just a long con for Thomas

to be single again? Could be. Yeah, he's literally part of an interracial marriage. And while we're on the subject of the First Amendment, my personal rights as an ultra-Orthodox anti-Federalist are being trampled constantly

with Kim Davis, Samuel Alito, and Clarence Thomas being allowed to remain in the country. I have sincerely held beliefs about this. They're very strong. Anyone whose worldview is based on the opinion of 18th century slave owners or first century slave owners, or anyone who wears long sleeve t-shirts under short sleeve t-shirts Sincerely has to be deported That's as am I sincerely

I'll believe also anyone who pronounces the T In often while we're on the subject Get the fuck out of here February fuck you Okay well hey wait that's just the way that fucking word's pronounced Okay These assholes are worried about a couple of dudes Loving each other when zoom weddings Where they won't let you turn your camera off roam free in our country.

They roam free. Also, just circling back for one last thing. According to Google, the Latin translation of fuck your face with an exclamation is per facius vestra with a question mark at the end. What? Apparently, Google Translate has really strong opinions on like the comedic delivery of that. And they prefer the more subtle, fuck your face, fuck your face.

And since the Supreme Court is going to be doing anti-democracy, plutocratic bigot stuff for the next few decades, thanks to those people I mentioned earlier, we're going to be firing up a SCOTUS review segment called Puer Facius Vestra. Facius Vestra? Coming up soon.

Fuck their facia. Not to be confused with fuck their faciais, which is Roman Bukkake, just to be clear. Or fuck their feces, which is Heath's Pornhub history. Weird that you would know that. And this is why we're here news tonight. We have a story that involves a partially naked

Catholic priest, two dominatrices in corsets and high-heeled boots, a collection of unspecified sex toys, and a public obscenity charge. Nice. Two girls, one communion chalice. There you go, sir. sir yes and it also involves the catholic church freaking out way the hell more than they ever have over the institutionalized

kid rape protection policies and they haven't realized why that's bad yet apparently yeah i mean they know why they think it's bad they're just super duper wrong right yeah exactly so let's start with trinity Louisiana, Reverend Travis Clark. You want a visual. Imagine like a younger, thinner John C. Riley, who's less smiling and more trying to keep his lips from touching his teeth. He seems really worried about that contact that might. Yeah.

So he'll be playing the part of partially naked Catholic priest in this story. And none of the stories I've seen on this say what partials were the naked partials. But it's got to include his dick, right? Or at least his ass, given the later obscenity charges. So apparently he's setting up his big kinky three way and he's got the sense to videotape the prostitution out of it. So good on him for that. But he did not, perfect sense have the sense to do it in such a way that it wasn't visible from outside so passerby called the cops and said

something along the lines of you're never going to believe how consensual the sex this catholic priest is having looks so the cops came by and arrested all three parties for obscenity come on we stained the stained glass don't be a dick oh those cops must have been so confused as to what to do right they're like okay so when we find out they're fucking kids we ignore it so it's three consenting adults we shoot to kill this is hard i don't all right so in response to this story of course the Catholic authorities didn't extradite Clark and hide him in Rome

which is weird because that's usually what they do when priests get in trouble for sex stuff what's more New Orleans Archbishop Gregory Amon called the act demonic and had the altar where it was performed removed and burned

they burned it? Well, that's what he says anyway, yeah. Okay, Greg, relax. Yeah, again, something they've never done for the kid rape stuff. You had a cum bonfire at your church. Just want to point that out. That's what you did. You inhaled the fumes. I mean, if you get pregnant for that, you're Catholic.

You can't do anything about it. You gotta carry it to term. With the fucking nasal baby. The body has a way of shutting that down. Oh, good. Okay. All right. No, but it's almost like they are way more upset about this virtually legal, all but entirely victimless crime, which would be weird if they're still selling themselves

as some kind of moral arbiter or something. I think they must have given that up. That's strange. On the way. Somewhere. Left that one behind. I heard, by the way, side note on this that one of the the doms is actually like in big trouble because of this like they got charged but they're also like their

safety and their well-being is in big trouble there's like a go fund me up because the whole thing was shenanigans like somebody just like sneaked up to the side of the church like you wouldn't have seen it from the street they like poked their head in and then called the cops and it's kind of fucked up. And there's like a GoFundMe for, you know, the actual victims of this, which are these two doms who are having their livelihood taken away.

Right. Oh yeah. That's no fun. I do like the idea of some old lady sticking her head in though and being like, those women are attacking father Montgomery. Please help. That's pretty much exactly what happened.

Yeah. They were tickling his buddy. And in Mo Child Left Behind news. Remember about 400 years ago in May of 2018 when we learned that our government was stealing and sometimes neglecting to death the children

of people who had traveled hundreds of miles to come here for help well the new york times remembers and this week they released an expose proving what we already knew namely that the trump administration was entirely aware of and totally okay with the child separation policy at the border. Yeah. We need to take away children no matter how young is the quote the expose leads with. That's Rod Rosenstein, by the way. In case anybody mistook not corrupt enough for

Trump with not corrupt. You can't say that without a muaha. We need to take away children no matter how young. Muaha. I can do it. No matter how young. Well, I couldn't do it. I don't know how that's possible. No matter how young.

Well, shouldn't they be taking fetuses away from mothers? Those are people. Just be consistent. Just be consistent. Well, we learned they're taking ovaries away, so they're getting them even earlier. Hold on a second. Be careful what you wish for. And you might be thinking to yourself, Eli, this is the scathing atheist.

Why are you talking about that over here and not on the skeptocrat? Well, first of all, I thought it might be nice. A little reminder for anyone considering not voting for Joe Biden in a couple of weeks. But secondly, as Hemant Mehta over at the Friendly Atheist pointed out, everyone at every level of this thing has justified their participation with religion. Yep. Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions quoted Romans 13 when asked about the program. Sarah Huckabee Sanders said it was, quote, very biblical to enforce the law.

Very biblical to enforce the law. Exactly. When asked where in the Bible it said it was okay to take children away from their mothers. Mike Pence used the Bible to defend concentration camps. And of course, the entire time, evangelical Christians make up this administration's unmovable base. Yeah. Yeah.

Look, even if we set aside the parts about smashing baby heads against rocks and beating slaves unconscious, the Bible still has a lot more ambiguity than you'd normally want in an ethical code. Hey, Moses, can you read that back to me? I feel like that last sentence might justify concentration camps, which is actually something I'm definitely going to create. So, you know what? Never mind.

I'm God. I'm sure it's going to be fine. It's going to be great. Right. Yeah. Absolutely. And while we wonder why nobody's written a book About how these evangelical Christians

Keep making things worse for all of us We're going to pause for a quick word from our second sponsor this week Hymns And so I say to her Why would you put pictures of your feet For free on Facebook But not sell me ones that I request Yeah

She's weird Thank you, that's weird, right? Gentlemen, here's the check. And how was everything today? Meh. Yeah, I hate to say it, but I think we'd like our money back. Yep. You'd like your money back.

Yeah, I'm afraid to say we just weren't happy with the results of this meal. Results of the meal, exactly. Well, apologies, gentlemen. You can't have a refund if you're not happy. You can with for hims.com. What's for hims.com? Great question.

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HIMS is giving you their best offer yet. If you're not happy with your results after 90 days, HIMS will give you a full refund. And right now, our listeners can get their first visit absolutely free. Just go to 4hims.com slash scathing. That's 4hims.com slash scathing. Disclaimer. Full refund of price paid available for the first 90 days. Supplies refund request must be made between 90 and 180 days after the product shipment delivered. Disclaimer.

Remember, that's forhims.com slash scathing. Well, that sounds very good, gentlemen, but I'm afraid we don't have that policy here. Fine, fine. Follow-up question. Will you sell me pictures of your feet? No. What is with people this week? Right?

You're all being weird. Way weird. You guys are making it weird. Unfriendly. Hi, I'm Nikki from Minnesota. Scathing was the first podcast I discovered after living a lifetime of Pentecostal indoctrination at the age of 29. For me, hearing topics that had formerly been taboo being treated with derision was liberating and helped me discover who I was outside the cult. I can't thank all of you enough for being such an integral part of my deconversion and for just being there when I needed someone the most.

Happy 400th show all. Hi, this is Katie Hill. My pronouns are she, her. One of my favorite memories about scathing atheists, other than Heath's laugh, which cracks me up every time, is sharing the diatribes and songs with certain of my friends who are either atheist as well or are questioning whether they believe in God and sitting there laughing as Noah goes off on someone or as Anna sings one of her hilarious songs. Hi, this is Emery Sheher. I found this podcast three years ago when I first deconverted. It helped me feel not so alone in the small rural town that I was living in at the time. It helped me feel not so alone in the small rural town that I was living in at the time.

You made me feel seen and brought me to realize that my anger that I was feeling wasn't completely misplaced. But I especially want to thank Eli. Your openness and advocacy in regards to mental health have really helped me a lot. I just wanted to thank you all. Love you guys. And I love this community so much. This is April Poff wishing the whole Piot family a happy 400th episode. My favorite memory comes from way back in episode three, when Noah and Lucinda shared their beautifully romantic origin story.

Here's to many more Thursdays with Anna, Eli, Heath, Lucinda, and Noah. With Amy Coney Barrett poised to shit all over RBG's legacy, the news has been full of talk about abortion and the fate of Roe versus Wade. And one of the side effects of doing what we do is that you're never all that happy about job security. Most everything in the news has been terrifying and depressing and way too easy to make Margaret Atwood comparisons to. too easy to make Margaret Atwood comparisons to. But I did want to highlight one of the bright spots, and that comes to us from Democratic Senator Gary Peters from Michigan. So in case you haven't heard the powerful personal testimony he shared with Elle magazine, I should summarize his story. See, back in the 80s, he and his wife were expecting their second child. But about four months into the pregnancy, they got bad news and learned that the fetus wouldn't survive the birth. And the same hospital that told them that

also told them that they couldn't do an abortion because it was against their policy. And while he doesn't specifically say Catholic hospital, those are the only ones with that policy. So his wife was sent home with little more than a pat on the back and a good luck with your miscarriage. Well, she fails to have a prompt miscarriage and a good luck with your miscarriage. Well, she fails to have a prompt miscarriage, and that puts her health at risk. What's more, it seriously endangers her potential to have more kids in the future. So they apply for a special exemption to the hospital's no abortion policy, and they're turned down. Because fuck what's best for her, and fuck the fact that it's a non-viable fetus. Her suffering was obviously part of God's

plan. Well, eventually, Peters managed to get his wife into a different hospital where they were willing to help her. But that isn't an option for everyone. And if and when they confirm Mega Karen to the Supreme Court, it'll get that much harder. And when Peters was asked why he shared his story, he said he wanted to remind people that this isn't some extreme circumstance. People deal with issues like this all the time. And for a look at where he's headed, I suppose we should bounce over to Italy real quick for a terrifying story. See, abortion is technically legal there, but most doctors and nurses are terrified to perform them, since Catholics own an even higher percentage of the hospitals there and won't employ former abortionists. And we learned this past week that even when a woman does manage to procure an

abortion, the church might still find a way to publicly shame her. You see, Catholic churches have been offering to take the fetal remains off the hands of clinics who would otherwise have to pay to dispose of it. And once they have it, they bury it with a tiny little cross for a grave marker that includes the name of the woman whose abortion is buried there. As one of the victims of this despicable practice said, quote, I can't tell you what a horrendous feeling it is to find a cross with your own name on it, end quote. And don't worry about us women. I'm sure we'll be fine even after the new SCOTUS strips away our rights. After all, we're the majority. Women can just band together. And I'm

sure that female activists will focus on important stuff like this rather than sending angry emails to Frank's Red Hot castigating them for putting out a commercial where somebody says, I put this bleep on everything. Oh wait, this just in. I can go fuck myself. Until Amy Coney Barrett makes that illegal too, I guess. And while we wait for that, I'll hand things back over to Noah, Heath, and Eli. Thank you, Lucinda. Next up in headlines, in Beatitude Adjustment News.

Fantastic. We might just get our first millennial saint coming up soon and i can't even i can't even yeah agree actually meh you know what it's meh leniel the catholic church officially beatified italian dead kid carlo acutis for his role in dying of leukemia at age 15 in 2006, and then curing the pancreas of a little boy in Brazil in 2013. Hashtag YOLO. YOLT, whatever. He's now the youngest person in the modern era to achieve beatification,

which is step four out of five in becoming a saint. He's almost there. Well, you know, if his devil's advocate gets access to his browser history, I don't think he's going to make it. Okay. But he was saying, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, the whole time. So, so there you go. Fair. So here's how Carlo got all the way up to the final step. He died and then hung out for the five year waiting period they have, which is hilarious to me. That's when the ghost of a future saint just sits there in heaven for five years, kind of in a snit, just waiting to get their Hall of Fame vote. Yeah, really? Really?

Come on, I'm Derek Jeter. This is his first ballot. This is obvious. Fuck. Then they become a servant of god if the official panel gathers evidence and finds enough holiness i think you need eight um holiness units you know then the pope looks at your score hopefully of eight or more and decides if you were just a regular servant of god or a venerable servant of God.

If you were venerable, then you have to perform a miracle to get beatified. And then you have to do it again to get canonized all the way. So fingers crossed for a really sick kid so Carlo can make that second one happen. Sorry, Heath, I want to clarify. According to their system,

any old body can perform one miracle? Yeah. That's correct. While dead, but not two. If they do two, they're the same. One kid's pancreatic cancer going into remission could just be a coincidence, but another different thing that happens with a non-zero

frequency happening elsewhere in an unrelated way at some other unspecified time. what are the odds that that would also yeah no yeah that's big data at that point you get a sample size thing you know n equals two now it's serious so the first few steps were pretty easy for carlo apparently he was already doing miracle related stuff while he was live even though none of that counts he ran a website that recorded all the miracles that were happening all over the world. Well, so do all of us, really.

Yeah, I was too. So there you go. Fuck you. He also taught old Italian priests how to make websites and program their VCRs. Yeah. And thanks to Noah's story, we know what they did with that information. Yeah. Well,

to be fair, that second thing with the websites and the VCRs, that's pretty fucking miraculous. No, that's true. I'm thinking that's why God killed Carlo with blood cancer so that he could then die and then eventually cure a different kid that, that God was also trying to kill, but didn't quite get done.

No word on which miracles the Brazilian kid was going to perform as a ghost that got blocked by Carlo like an asshole, but there you have it. Well, right, because at this point, all we did was trade an Italian kid for a Brazilian kid, right? We're not even in the positive yet. I just

see why they insist on a second miracle. Sure. Okay. Yeah. Interesting ranking of those two countries ethnically by no. I think I agree with it. I just I see why they insist on a second miracle. Sure. Okay. Yeah. Interesting ranking of those two countries ethnically by no. I think I agree with it. I brought it back to zero, you know, minus one plus one Heath. What were you? How did you do the math? Right. But we all agree that there are countries where it would be

a positive. This is better and worse. Yeah, of course. One, I mean, Italy was on the Nazi team. They're forever a minus.'m sorry that's that's that's official and just in case this whole thing wasn't silly enough already we got to see a very solemn ceremony at an old church in assisi along with the unveiling of a painting of Carlo, but it's a painting of a fucking selfie from like 2001 with Carlo wearing a bright red

90s starter jacket. It looks ridiculous. It's a painting. You could have put him in any church. It's like someone made a velvet painting of Shia LaBeouf.

And in Hail Satan news, short of getting Amy Coney Barrett to say her own name backwards and thus banishing herself back to her own dimension, the last hope for abortion rights might just be Satan. Satan. Satan. As this week,

the Satanic Temple has officially asked the Supreme Court to overturn Missouri's medically unnecessary abortion laws because it violates the Satanic principles of bodily autonomy. Yeah. Yeah, this is what we've been reduced to. We're going to have to make, like, the Church of Demonstrable Shit if we want, like, reality to get a seat at the fucking table.

Yeah. Yeah, and we got to really believe it, too. Sincerely, yeah. Yeah. As it stands right got to really believe it too. Sincerely. Yeah. Yeah. As it stands right now in Missouri, if a woman wants an abortion, she is required to wait three days,

has to be given a booklet that says life begins at conception and has to be given the option of an ultrasound in the hopes that it'll guilt her out of having an abortion. All of which violate any reasonable definition

of bodily autonomy or, you know, basic ethics. Basic ethics. This is America. And unless your invisible friend sincerely holds your wants and needs, you can go fuck yourself. Right. And the problem is the courts are rejecting the argument from the Satanic Temple because

you are technically allowed to get an abortion at the end of all that bullshit. Yeah. That's definitely what the Supreme Court's going to say, too. you are technically allowed to get an abortion at the end of all that bullshit yeah like that's definitely what the supreme court's gonna say too on the other hand that does mean blue states can start making laws that say i don't know uh idiots can't go to church during a pandemic without a one-year waiting period and without reading on the origin of species first and also getting some nonsense other medical tests of some kind. Let's call it colonoscopy.

So we're doing one year. Got to read Darwin. Colonoscopy. Aggressive colonoscopy. Like clumsy colonoscopy. Well, so now that, like I was going to say COVID test, but I feel like we can combine the two, right?

Like we keep going long enough. The sinuses are there somewhere, right? Yeah, we'll get them. We'll get them. Give me a second. So luckily, the Satanic Temple's invisible friend, Satan, does want women to have bodily autonomy. And they've spent the last five years trying unsuccessfully to get this law overturned. Well, last week, after rejection, after rejection, the Satanic Temple officially filed its petition for the writ of social.

No, no. A.K.A. letter that asks very nicely if all the religions can have matching exceptions to the laws. And yes, as he said, in all likelihood, the Supreme Court will probably refuse to hear the case. But as Hemant Mehta over at the Friendly Atheist has pointed out, they might also hear the case and use it as an opportunity to approve more laws like Missouri's. Yeah. Because you're going to overturn Roe versus Wade, and if you've been paying attention,

they fucking are. It's nice to stretch out beforehand. Well, yeah, and the great thing for them is if they stretch out enough, they don't have to overturn Roe v. Wade, right? They can save themselves the trouble to let Susan Collins hide behind the fact that they never technically overturned it or whatever but you know you just take you know knock out all the foundations from beneath it

but at least they weren't taking too many notes right busying up that free paper they gave her next up in headlines republican christian and bigot are doing a whole lot of correlation these days. But that being said, that's the end of my thought. Nope. That was proven causation doesn't really matter at a certain point. So, you know,

show me one of those three things and I'll tell you to stop showing me bigots. It's a weird thing to do. I don't know why you'd be showing me bigots, but, but I'll be able to show you the other two almost every time, especially if we make it proud bigot, and that's worse. And that statistical relationship was on full display again this week, thanks to bigots proudly and happily republicaning, christianing, and bigoting straight into recording devices in these particular cases. That includes a North Carolina pastor

literally shouting white power at a journalist after his speech at a trump rally and an illinois state representative campaigning on her platform of i'm white and not gay vote for me 2020 the year of saying the quiet part out loud yeah all we're saying is that you can only put out so many collaboration albums before you're just a band, guys. So I'll start with Baptist pastor and Christian right activist Jesse Hersey. During a Trump rally in North Carolina last week, he gave a speech about how he's a Christian first and a Republican second. Everybody went nuts. And then after the rally, a bunch of the cult, including Hersey,

started driving around town on dirt bikes and pickup trucks like the fucking Cobra Kai, waving Trump flags and honking their horns. And at one point, he drives right past a journalist,

slows down, stares directly into her camera, and yells, white power. So, I guess it turns out he was a bigot first christian second republican third yeah but really all kind of tied so he could fit perfectly into my correlation

thing so once the video got released the young republicans of alamance county who organized that trump rally they announced that hersey was immediately removed from the organization but uh no word on removing everyone else screaming white power and waving Confederate flags. Either way, Hersey responded by claiming that his words had nothing to do with racism. Really? Okay.

White power. What I love is that they're like, look, you're driving around, you're waving the symbol of slavery. That's one thing. But you don't just say what it represents, literally. That's too far. Yeah, right. No, yeah.

At a certain point, it's hard to believe that the rest of his group was just listening to the bass line. Right? Like, guys, it's all on the same. That brings us to Illinois State Representative Amy Grant, who represents District 42, just west of Chicago. Grant, who represents District 42 just west of Chicago. Most of that area is pretty solid blue, but this particular district is the home of Wheaton College. That's the evangelical school that fired a Christian professor and also, by chance, the only black woman to ever receive tenure since they opened in 1860. They fired her after she publicly renounced all the Islamophobia from prominent Christian

leaders that followed the shooting in San Bernardino, California in 2015. Wheaton is also definitely the eponym for Josh Wheaton, the main character of God's Not Dead, who got his evil atheist philosophy professor to cry and become Christian during a debate. I hate that I know all that. As soon as I heard this, I was like, oh, Wheaton College. I know so much about that. Great. Hell, you hate that you know that.

Heath, you know the plot of the two follow-up movies and the near-complete filmography of the director. I mean, get on board, man. Does he? Because Sorbo didn't become Christian during the debate.

He ran out and became Christian after being fatally wounded in a car accident afterwards. I'm sorry, if I'm going to be a pedant about anything, right? It's just our job. It is our job. Anyway,

that's the voting base that elected Amy Grant. So I guess it's no surprise that she said the following on a recorded fundraising call about her Democratic challenger, Ken Magia Beal, who happens to be black and gay. Quote, he's just another one of the cook

county people just to be clear cook county is chicago so that would be illinois white speak for the n-word almost exactly she continued that's all we need is another person in the black caucus okay that's just a plain english synonym for it right there yeah not even easier to translate continuing one more time i think he's afraid to come into the district not because he's black but because of the way he talks he's all lgbtq he wants to work for the chronically ill what end quote about why he's bad anyway give me money this is a recorded fundraising call yeah well that recording got released and somebody explained to amy grant how that's a bad thing so she issued a statement that

said those comments do not reflect my heart or my faith what don't they but uh yes the fuck they do they literally do those comments actually soft peddled your faith. If we're being technical. Really? Yeah. She later told a local paper, I made a clumsy statement that does not reflect how I feel. Like she tripped and fell into the N word. Well, Magia Beal had an amazing response to all this.

Of course, he explained why she's obviously a piece of shit, but also pointed out that she left him a phone message during which she literally read that one line statement and hung up. She called him, got no answer, and left a voicemail like a fucking serial killer. Who leaves voicemail? And she was like, hello

black gay person. Those comments did not reflect my heart or my faith. Okay, bye. Like reading off paper. My heart and faith both would have just used the n-word. I toned my faith. Okay, bye. Like reading off paper. My heart and faith both would have just used the N word. I toned it down. You're welcome. Bye.

Yep. So here's what happens next for these two bigots. Oh. Nothing. Yeah. Nothing. Nothing happens. That white power video will have no effect on Hersey's job as a pastor.

And that's pretty much the only job where that's how it works. I would like to think anyway. Yeah. Well, except maybe Republican politician. That's another good counterexample. Amy Grant probably won't lose any votes for this. The recording of her basically saying the N-word could be her next campaign ad.

She could just run that. This is ridiculous. We need to gerrymander all of white Christianity into one state and then admit DC and Puerto Rico and all the territories just to make them matter even less. Yeah, God. Two votes. And in but what was she wearing news tonight? Professional zealot and real world human who manages to have an eight bit haircut. Rick Wiles offered a swift condemnation after learning about the foiled plot by Christian terrorist groups to kidnap Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer,

which would have been admirable if he'd managed to condemn the correct side of the kidnapping plot. Huh? You got that wrong? Yeah, he condemned Whitmer for compelling these otherwise swell fellas to want to kidnap her. Wow. Okay, I feel like Rick has a bet going with Alex Jones about who can say the most evil shit. And they've just both been winning forever. And they have no idea how to stop.

They never said by a certain date or anything. Yeah, right. So, yeah, this acidic bit of victim blaming came on his show, which is the fucking Holy Roman Imperially titled True News, where he routinely incites Christian extremists to violence. And instead of taking this story as a warning that maybe he should dial back his fucking rhetoric a bit, he doubled down on it. Quote, what are you doing that drives middle class law abiding taxpaying citizens to think about kidnapping you. What are you

doing? Are your policies so extreme so radical that you're pushing people over the line to say we have to get that woman out of the governor's office end quote. Yeah, no, that's a solid point about the law abiding kidnappers. Good stuff. But

more importantly, I'm pretty sure Rick W's entire career just invited us to kidnap him. That's what happened? That's what I heard. And do crazy stuff to him. I heard crazy aggressive stuff.

In Coach Dave's Airbnb. Oh, shit. A plan is coming together, people. Listen, you're getting this colonoscopy and a COVID test, man. Two for one. Yeah, and all of this involves Heath's taint as well. It's great.

Alright, now we should linger here for a second because... How does it involve my taint? I'm not going to tell you. I think once we have Rick Wiles kidnapped, everybody knows how it involves your taint. Come on. Even Rick Wiles. He's like, he's taking out his tank,

isn't he? I knew he was. Oh man, he's going to fuck my face. Put the lemons away. Lemon, lemon. All right.

So I want to linger here for a second because this is one of the most terrifying turns of the Trump presidency. And that is a high fucking bar to clear. Right.

And I'm not just talking about the fact that in response to a presidential directive to liberate michigan a domestic terrorist group plotted a way to detain their lawfully elected governor i'm talking about the reluctance of the nation's media to call it christian terrorism and the ease with which the scathing atheists most wanted offer theological justification for that insurrection right rick wiles is pining for a violent christian overthrow of american democracy and he's doing it out loud at least he's not the president i don't know what for now yeah right jinx it and finally tonight a precious baby child woke up terrified and alone in an ice bath last

week and it's all donald trump's fault it is the president's disease-ridden body was about to shut down completely so he kidnapped a baby from inside a uterus cut out the baby's internal organs and had them transplanted inside of him. Based on the understanding of stem cell research in pro-life propaganda, that should be the fucking headline we're reading everywhere. What actually happened is Donald Trump and millions of other people

were prevented from potentially dying thanks to some amazing medical science that involves a line of lab-created cells that were based originally on the remains of fetal tissue. And by the way, if you listen closely, you can hear the evangelical outrage about the hypocrisy. Did you hear it? No, I didn't.

Did you hear it just now? Just give it a second. Sorry, I just, I want to make it clear to the audience that we here at The Scathing Atheist are in favor of stem cell research, even if it does occasionally save Donald Trump's life. But, but only because it saves other people's

lives too. Otherwise, we're full on Team Lima Bean. Oh yeah, absolutely. So, I mentioned the millions of people already helped by this, but it could be so many more if that type of research wasn't being constantly blocked and defunded by religious idiots in government who don't understand science.

They also don't understand basic consequentialist morality either. Just to be clear, this is not a trolley problem. Nobody is saying we should kill a person, harvest five of their organs, and try to save five lives. Depending on the context, I actually am saying that, me personally, but pretty much nobody else is saying that. Unless the harvestee is Trump, in which case,

if you just need five hefty objects for a juggling trick you want to try, we're good. Maybe a good paperweight. What Noah's saying is we're open. We're open when Trump is in the body. We're very open. But what those people are saying, the majority of them, not me, but most people are saying that fetal tissue,

which was about to be buried in Italy and given a headstone without the mother's consent, that's really fucking happening right now, or fetal tissue that's about to get a 21-gun salute at a funeral in Texas, also happening, or about to get sold on Craigslist to an evil wizard by Planned Parenthood. You decide if that's happening. I saw a video.

Scientists are saying, maybe we keep a few of those cells in a little baggie and save millions of lives. I don't know. And religion is saying, no, we're pro-life. Those millions of people should die. Yeah, right. Also,

I don't wear a mask because it's my choice. What? You're a crispy hippo. What I love about this is that throughout Trump's entire presidency, right, evangelicals have clung to, he's pro-life. He's going to overturn Roe versus Wade. But now that he's fucking munching fetuses like they're pork cracklings,

they're like, I fear black people. Also, crispy hippo sounds really good. That sounds like a duck situation. Probably would be delicious. I bet it would be good. Good stuff. Anyway, one other detail. You know what other endangered species I'd like to eat?

Are they endangered? Probably. I feel bad about that. I'm going to try it still. Anyway, one other detail. Trump was treated using a drug cocktail that was developed using lab testing that involved cells whose origin was fetal kidney tissue from the 1970s. And if there's anyone who cannot afford to look more like an old fetus, it's Donald Trump.

So there's that. But even worse, the fetus came from the Netherlands. That's right. Donald Trump is a Dutch baby and there's nothing he can do about it. I'm so happy about this. I'm sure he's furious. I want to see the long form birth certificate and I'm never going to stop happy about this. I'm sure he's furious. I want to see the long-form birth certificate,

and I'm never going to stop talking about it. And while we additionally wish that there was a new book available in the Kindle store that has a whole subsection about how religious people get in the way of stem cell research, we're going to close the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Crispy hippo ribs. And when we come back, we'll gaze at each other's navels so it isn't weird.

My favorite scathing atheist moment is sitting at the dining room table and hearing my then five-year-old daughter run around the corner and say, We come from San Quimacay, man! Now go vote and let's take this country back from them. I'm George Romaca from the podcast Does This Still Work? It's not a funny memory, but it is a powerful one. In January 2015, after the Charlie Hebdo massacre, Skating Atheist released its 100th episode. In that episode, Noah described the victims as satirists killed in the line of duty,

then sang a song that he wrote in tribute to them. It was a cathartic healing moment brought about by Noah and Heath, audibly expressing things that I was feeling, and it stuck with me as such. Hi all, Padgett here, also known as TronVillain on the Godawful Movies wiki page. Anyway, love the show from Noah's diatribes to Lucinda's twim and Heath's Jumanji, but my favorite moment is going to have to be episode 59, an important moment in

the Eli Bosnick story, in which he reviews the extremely god awful movie, God's Not Dead. To everyone in the Puzzle and a Thunderstorm crew,

thanks for the amazing work. Hey guys, this is Ian. I just want to thank you guys for helping me get through my father's

passing and really learning that it's okay to be angry at people that try and take advantage of you whenever you're in that mournful state. Hi, I'm Jeffrey from Orlando. At the 2016 Reason Rally, where I knew no one, I was leaving the rock concert and heard Heath's voice. I had no idea what any of the guys looked like, so I just loudly exclaimed, Hey, I know that voice! The three guys stopped and took the time for a chat and a selfie,

and as they left, they were back in their own world and exactly who they were on the show. They were genuine, and from that moment on, I've held them in the highest regard. Thank you for all your words, insight, justified rage, and most importantly, the laughs. Because as no one can attest to, a laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have.

As we might have mentioned, this week marks the scathing atheists 400th episode we switched from a half hour to an hour back on episode 70 so that is a total of 365 and a half hours of podcasts which does not sound like much when i put it that way especially when i consider i put like 30 hours plus in every goddamn episode for almost eight years i was kind of hoping that when i said the number, it would sound really big, but sure didn't. Anyway, it's been a lot of episodes. We've made a lot of memories along the way.

So in honor of yet another driving around a little more so that the odometer turns back to zeros type episode, we are going to share our top 10 memories from the first 400 episodes of The Scathing Atheist, starting with number 10. And I'm going to start off with a recent and rather self-serving one. For my first memory, I'm going to go with writing Outbreak, A Crisis of Faith, How Religion Ruined Our Global Pandemic, available now on the Kindle store with print copies coming soon and the audible version coming less soon, but still soon-ish. Because look, I've loved to write since i was a kid i wrote my first novel when i was 13 and it was really really bad but that did not stop me from continuing to write ever since oh you hear that everyone i'm gonna be a bitching ass writer in 37 years right is it

wait how old am i in this man but the difference on this one is that i was writing something this time that i knew other people were going to read. And I kind of do that every week when we script a show. But writing a book that was going to be actually read afterwards got me higher than any trip to Colorado ever has. Yeah. And I want to take a moment to say, because it would be weird for Noah to say this, but the book fucking fucks. Right. The book fucking fucks, right?

Like I said this when Noah gave Heath and Andrew the first draft to read over for notes and then awkwardly realized I was on the call as well. And so he said I could also read it. But I was largely expecting this book to be a long diatribe, right? But I actually think it makes a really important argument that not enough people are hearing that at least part of what has made COVID special in the united states is religion and its effects it's it's a fantastic book i can't wait for people to read it well thanks and i'll tell you what honestly it's worth the 8.99 for the kindle version just for the opening essay by andrew where he sort of lays out the legal position that we find ourselves in in modern day america and how we got there it's really fantastic and it's a huge long fucking essay so it's really meaty you can really get your uh

your hands around so if you want to be part of our our 10th best scathing atheist memory be sure to check the show notes uh and pick up your copy today anyway that moves us on to number nine launching god-awful movies now admittedly we did this before I was on scathing full time. So timeline is a little wacky here. But for those of you who don't know the story, I found out I'd lost the career I had for seven years with just under a month's notice. You're going to say that's a career. Well,

okay. Hey, I called my job before this a career too. I think you can get away with it. Money. I have a long career at tgi fridays as a bartender too i just want to throw it out there tough but fair he then right tough but fair but yeah i mean i lost that job and as i remember i came home and told anna like

oh i'm gonna learn to drive and get a job with uber yeah so think of the lives we've saved. Right. Yeah, exactly. He was going to be in New York City. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, exactly. So I'd been on Scathing a few times at that point, and we kind of made it like a monthly thing for me to come on and talk about a Christian movie, which was great. I loved it.

I loved doing it because I got to be on my favorite podcast. But when I lost my job, I sort of gave Noah and Heath a heads up. I was like, hey, I might not be able to do this as much. I got to find a new job and not die. And when the guy suggested GAM, I was honestly, I was horrified because I was positive it was going to be a massive failure, right? My mom would pledge five bucks. I'd make a fake Patreon account, put in five bucks near the end.

That would be it. But the listeners to this podcast came through and have continued to come through in a way that means that this is what I do for a living, right? I bought a house. I had a kid without going into crippling debt. And the only reason I was able to do any of that was because of the people who listened to this show. Number eight. Okay. So one of my favorite moments about the show, but one of my favorite moments in life was waking up in a trailer. Now stay with me. It sounds like I'm in a Saw movie, but I will explain. So I was living in New York city, but I always dreamed about, you know, getting out of that little town and going to South Georgia to seek my fortune. And then it happened. Noah and Lucinda told me they had an extra room. So I quit my job. I packed up all my stuff into my car and I moved to Waycross,

Georgia. But the big transition didn't hit me until the next day. So I get there, I go to sleep, and then I wake up on an air mattress inside a trailer. And my job that day was podcaster. Fuck yeah. I got up, I stretched, and I said out loud, I made it.

I've won the game. I've arrived. World. Number seven. Alright, so for that, I'm going to go, and I know this I've won the game I've arrived world number seven alright so for that I'm going to go and I know this isn't strictly a scathing atheist memory but it totally counts the live show we did in New York City it was a live game show but it was the first time we ever recorded an episode of one of our shows live

and it was if I'm not mistaken the first time we ever recorded an episode of one of our shows with all of us together in a room yeah I had no idea how the hell that dynamic was going to work out because normally look skating atheists are scripted so much so that i just read normally ellipses look comma right but but gam isn't right we just we go in with some notes and i've got an idea of what jokes heath wants to make and i have an idea of what jokes eli wants to make if i can read his spelling and then we just have at it and and then like we heavily added it so it sounds like it's not a messy ass free-for-all so needless to

say i was a little nervous about how that was going to translate to the stage right not to mention we didn't know how many people wanted to see us who actually lived in new york right right there was a good chance we had rented a very very large room for three people well and the other we didn't know how many people wanted to see us who actually lived in New York, right? Right, yeah. There was a good chance we had rented a very, very large room for three people. Well, and the other thing too is that we didn't know Morgan at the time. This was, well, you knew him a little bit,

but like I didn't know Morgan at all. And he just kind of stepped in and he's like, hey, I'll do sound for you guys. And I'm like, yep, sure, great. Thank you. I had no idea. Luckily he knew what he was fucking doing. Do you have to do sound?

Is that what? Well, and look, in a lot of ways, every possible thing went wrong. We didn't have enough seats right there. All the chairs they promised us weren't there at first. The lighting was fucked up. The merch was fucked up. The audience was so goddamn drunk that we had two guys trying to walk up on stage

and sit in Heath's lap the whole time. They brought me rounds of drinks the whole time. That was nice, though. Yeah. Eli was running around the theater constantly forgetting that his mic was wired in and there are people walking past him to try to go get more drinks because the bar was open and it was so goddamn fun and we've done it again every chance we get and honestly it's the thing i miss most since we've been in lockdown yeah amen number six skepticon good pick yeah it was great yeah i mean skepticon is a great Yeah. Amen. Number six. Skepticon! Good pick.

Yeah, it was great. Yeah, Skepticon is a great conference, and I can't wait to go back. The speakers are amazing. It's run super well. We got to go with people we love. But Skepticon was also the first time we got invited somewhere

we couldn't have gone ourselves. Well, this is Skepticon Australia, so when you consider that played right, I'd go as far as to say wouldn't have gone ourselves. Well, this is Skepticon Australia, so when you consider that played right, I'd go as far as to say, wouldn't have gone ourselves. And what's more, to me at least, Skepticon felt like the first time we were acknowledged by the skeptic community.

Maybe it's just me, but it can sometimes feel like there's the world of sort of real skepticism, which is people who give talks and attend conferences and write books. And then we were like the podcasters in the corner making fart noises. It's our career. I would call it our career. Our career, yeah.

And we'd been to cons before, right? We'd been to ReasonCon and ReasonRally and QED. But those people know us and like us, right? But when Iran invited us to Skepticon, it was because he wanted us to be part of his skeptical conference. And that was a very big deal for me. I love how you basically just said that Iran doesn't like us.

Because he obviously knows us. I guess that tracks. He heard our interview at QED the year before. I was very inebriated for that. I was sober. Well, what's amazing is that Eli was the sober one.

He said he heard it. It's like, dude, he conducted it. He interviewed us. Yeah. Also, as a side note, like my family is incredibly supportive. They loved me and rooted for me when I sold magic toys and they love and root for me now. But they don't pretend to understand podcasting or how the hell I make any money at it. They don't pretend to understand podcasting or how the hell I make any money at it. But when I told them like, hey, me and Anna are being flown across the world to Australia to take part in a conference.

I think a lot of them like honestly understood that this was a job and not just a stop on the road to my destination. This was the destination. So that meant a lot to me as well. Number five. The first ReasonCon in Hickory north carolina oh your debut top ball yeah so fun and it's extra impressive because it has so much competition like we've been to qed twice both trips were absolutely amazing and both included getting to hang out with drunk marsh on the final Sunday night, which is like the greatest thing ever. And also getting to hang out with, you know, drinking plenty, but somehow still completely sober Andy throughout the entire weekend at all moments.

And, of course, meeting some of my favorite people of all time during those trips. Just great, great time. And like Eli said, Skepticon in Sydney was another incredible experience, start to finish. And the other times we went to ReasonCon were great too. Yeah. Including drinking a bottle of scotch in the back of a van with the state of Virginia as the shot clock. Oh, yeah. Drinking that bottle.

Right. Me up front practicing the alphabet and touching my nose just in case we get pulled over. It's a Fumi scotch. It was Lafroig. It can get to the front. You got to be careful. Also, we drove like five hours out of our way

just to get ribs from Barack Obama's favorite ribs place. 12 Buns. So good. I asked them what their vegan options were and they shot me.

It was a good time. Deserved. But ReasonCon 1 was extra special. It was the first event I ever attended as part of this job. So that was like extra special. It was the first event I ever attended as part of this job. So that was like extra significant.

It was run beautifully by Cash, who some people might know from Atheists on Air. He's the fucking best. Love Cash. I just like, I enjoyed him so much. I just wanted to ride off into the sunset with him on the back of his horse by the end of it. Like this like cowboy figure. with him on the back of his horse by the end of it. Like this, like cowboy figure.

I also met Deb and Vin and their amazing dogs that weekend for the first time. I wrestled with those dogs for most of the weekend. That was really the highlight for me. And that Saturday night, there was this amazing, amazing moment. Everyone was drinking exactly as much as they wanted at this open bar. And a bunch of us just happened to sit down together in a big circle at the end of that night and have this long, organic, open, honest conversation.

Everybody just seemed to like open up at the same time and realize we were an actual community that counts. And everybody felt like, oh, I could just like be honest about the things I think. And these people get me. It was a really amazing moment. I mean, maybe it was, it was just me feeling that for the first time. Cause it was the first time I did an event like that, but it seemed like lots of people had the same experience. It was really quite a unique feeling. Really says a lot about atheist conferences that of all the ones that we've been to that conversation probably stands out in my mind more than any other thing that we've done. That was fantastic. And we've done a lot of drugs at them.

Bobby C and Miss Ashley. Bobby C got some of that on his recorder, actually. Made it into a chunk of the podcast. Number four. Losing my job, which is an odd thing to put on as one of my top memories because it was fucking miserable. Losing your career? It was. was it was a career that i loved i'd done it for over a decade i had

dedicated a ton of my life to being the best in the world at that fucking job i mean look i i did that like 50 hour work week sure but then i went home and i practiced at the thing i did i lived in a fucking rv for years that was owned by the company. I would get online on my off time and talk to other people about it. And then I would practice it more. And then the company hit a rough patch and fired me and my wife because we were the most expensive employees they had because we'd been there so long. And if it wasn't for this podcast and the listeners who carried me through that time,

this would be one of them stories that ends with me asking her honor for leniency. through that time this would be one of them stories that ends with me asking her honor for leniency but instead it gets to be a story of me being tossed into the pool and learning to fucking swim because at the time this podcast was less than a year old right it was about this time a year actually when this all happened it was fucking halloween night actually and patron didn't even exist back then the only income we had coming in through the through this show was coming in through paypal was coming in through PayPal. It wasn't enough to live on, but it was enough for me to say, like, fuck it, let's give it a try. And with a new focus on how to monetize the motherfucker and 24 hours a day to dedicate it, we made a job of it. Six months later, it was Heath's full-time job. A year after that,

it was Eli's full-time job. And so instead of having this really sad ending, the ending of the me getting fired story is me watching Google Trends for a year and a half and then popping a fucking cork when scathing atheist line climbed over the trend for my former company, which went out of business almost immediately after that because the owners realized too

late that my wife and I actually ran their fucking company and they had no clue how to do it once we were gone. Don't they sell like scrap plastic now on a website or something? You can buy a blanket. They're still there. Whatever they can find. Let's buy them all.

Also, to prove to everybody how bitter I'm not, fuck you in the ass with a stick, Steve, and not a strong one that's going to come back out in one piece. Just while we're at it. Let's buy all the blankets. Number three. out in one piece just while we're at it let's buy all the blankets number three the pajama party in california last year that whole trip was so much fun i got to go around northern california all week with my favorite people eating and drinking as hard as i can i met tim in person for the first time that week actually on the airplane on the way there.

We met in the aisle of the airplane that we were both on. And then he let me win at arm wrestling, which was amazing. Very sweet of him. Thomas came down to meet us and brought code names, which might be my new favorite war game of all time. And we

also beat Thomas and Andrew at Trivial Pursuit by rigging the questions and rigging the dice rolling. We would also have to have done to make them get only super duper hard questions that apparently they have in Trivial Pursuit. I don't think they had any super duper hard questions, but weird, Thomas and Andrew got all these super duper hard questions.

Anyway, we won. We got to, okay, in fairness to Andrew, he made us his homemade breakfast. We got to have the Andrew breakfast, which was aggressively good. It was ridiculous. I woke up that day like Bugs Bunny getting floated out of my bed by carrot fumes,

except it was every amazing breakfast flavor at once that Andrew had going out there. Plus some new ones I didn't even know about. Andrew's bouncing around the kitchen at like cartoon speeds doing the Salt Bae thing over all these plates with different colored ingredients I didn't know about. And then we got to share the whole experience a little bit with that virtual pajama party at the end of the weekend.

It was the best time ever. Yeah, it really was. It really was. You know, it's a good trip when the big takeaway at the end was like, Hey, next time we do this,

let's not plan a bunch of shit. So we have more time to dick around together at the Airbnb. Right? Yeah. Yeah. 2021 baby. 2021. Let's hope.

Or 2025 baby. 2025. Number two. let's hope or 2025 maybe 2025 number two vulgarity for charity yeah i think i speak for all of us when i say that this is when the podcast did something that we never dreamed it would right this is when the podcast changed the lives of other people i think if you sat us down seven years ago and asked us to write out what this show was remotely possible of doing, none of us would have listed raising almost a half a million dollars for charity. Yeah. Well, certainly not something the writers over at God friended me would have ever imagined, at least. Yeah. Yeah. And from the first year we

did it, where we thought, you know, we'd help out Song Thabo with a couple hundred extra dollars to the most recent drive. We've just been blown away by our listeners generosity. But vulgarity for charity is about more than the dollar amount we've raised, at least for me. It's about the lasting effect this podcast has had on the lives of people who have never and will never listen to this podcast. Yeah, and would be really pissed off at it if they did. Yeah. A kid got like the special medical glasses he needed to see the blackboard because of vulgarity for charity.

Dozens of people kept their homes, their cars, their livelihood, and they will never know why. Hell, I'm guessing a lot of them give Jesus the credit, but that doesn't matter. They got what they needed because... Assholes. But I mean, seriously... Lemon. Lemon. Lemon, lemon.

But seriously, they got what they needed because they are human beings who needed help and we could help them get it. And if that's not the goal of humanism, I don't know what is. Number one. Meeting April. April!

Yeah, so look, I should offer at least a little of the backstory. So April was one of the first listeners I ever interacted with. You said April again. Oh, I got you. So among the first dozen listeners I ever spoke with online. She sent an email back in the single digit episode days to take issues with something we had

said about gun control and I told her to fuck off. Actually, I told her normally I would tell her to fuck off, but I was reserving that fuck off for later or some asshole shit like that. You kept the fuck off in your pocket in the email? Yeah, exactly. Exactly right. But that was the start

of something wonderful because I'm pretty sure normally she'd have told me to fuck off too and she had one in her pocket. Anyway, April was also one of the first people that ever donated to the show back in the pre-Patreon days. She would send us a small donation through PayPal pretty much every month, right?

Just whatever she could spare. And her recurring donations were one of the main things that really made me think that this would be a viable business. It wasn't huge, but it paid for a trailer real easily. Well, eventually, yeah, eventually. But it wasn't until we had been doing the show for something like six years that we actually had a chance to meet her. Like by the time we actually met her in person, we declared her our favorite listener. I had dedicated a book to her, but she's a bit of an introvert.

She didn't really feel comfortable in big groups. So it took her a while to feel confident coming to one of our shows or to a conference. And now she's been to several. This year, we managed to coax her all the way from Virginia to LA right before we learned that COVID-19 was already in the state of community transmission,

especially on the West Coast. Probably a bad thing there, but- Right after the US government learned that COVID-19 was already in the state of community transmission, especially on the West Coast. Probably a bad thing there. Right after the U.S. government learned that. Yeah, right. Before we had, yeah. It is what it is. But look, every time we have a chance to meet our listeners and complete the circle, it's an honor.

And I love meeting all you guys. But the ones that mean the most to me are the ones that had to work for it. Because I'm the same way, right? I'm a huge fan of the skeptics guide to the circle. It's an honor. And I love meeting all you guys. But the ones that mean the most to me are the ones that had to work for it. Because I'm the same way, right? I'm a huge fan of the skeptics guide to the universe. I went to three of their conferences and I never worked up the guts to introduce myself and to thank them in person and to meet them. So, like, when we meet a listener who's obviously not comfortable around people or who is visibly nervous, somebody who I know had to fight through personal discomfort just because they wanted to thank us for doing this show, I'm fucking honored. Yeah, absolutely.

So, here's to another 400 episodes of Great Memories, and here's to some more live events whenever travel becomes a thing again. In the meantime, I've got to figure out what an assless mask costume looks like. Right? Hmm.

It's like one hand clapping. I had been listening to Scathing Atheist for a while, and then at the beginning of last year, the Eliatrib dropped. It really struck me as what made me a patron, and it's my favorite moment from Scathing Atheist. This is Jaden Eli Maurice from South Carolina saying that the Scathing Atheist has been a symbol of podcasting excellence for many years. Our incomparable hosts have provided us infidels

with some amazing moments, skits, and bits, most notable of which might be any time they do an impersonation of Ray Comfort. I've tweeted at Ray to desperately try to get him to do something headline-worthy, no dice so far, but I'll keep trying. Congratulations on 400 episodes, guys. Here's to many, many more. Thanks for giving us immeasurable amounts of laughter. You've helped me get through some rough times, and we may never know who was really lying about Soho. Hi, Skating Atheists. This is Miguel from Mexico. Congratulations on 400 episodes. I wanted to thank you for being an example of the kind of A.T.s that I would like to be. So I wanted to mention what I've learned from you guys.

From Heath, I've learned we should always try to be nerds on what we're passionate about. From Noah, I've learned that it's okay to be angry sometimes. And from Eli, I've learned the importance of being kind and empathetic towards others. Also, it's very important to make fun of ourselves. So here's to hundreds of more episodes. It's time for the part of the show that comes next, listener feedback. This is the part of the show that comes after the last part. And while we normally use this segment to talk about specific stuff that people had recently written to us about,

with this being our 400th episode, we figured maybe we could tackle a few of the questions we've heard most often over the past eight years. All right, first up, and definitely our top piece of feedback, you guys laugh too much at your own jokes. It's annoying. I wouldn't say top piece. Okay. Definitely not. But got it.

Got it. Heard your message loud and clear. So without further ado, we'd like to present the scathing atheist not enjoying our jobs edition. Go. Today, some Christians did very stupid stuff. They are unattractive. Indeed.

Barely. Attractive. Stupid. This week, Hillary Morgan Farrow relies on a lack of higher education in her audience to convince them to rename the ideas they're afraid of postmodernism. Sounds very harmful. It is. I don't know about you guys, but I want to listen to at least

400 episodes oh hell yeah yeah that sounded no fun and that's what I loved about it all right don't laugh next up atheist crusher shut up you're wrecking it it's not funny this is serious

zero show record we got going all right next up very important atheist crusher 419 You're wrecking it. It's not funny. This is serious. Zero show record we got going. All right. Next up, very important. AtheistCrusher419 at gmail.com would like Noah to debate him. No. Okay. Does it help that his message was in all caps and used several outdated slurs? It does not.

Okay. Well, that cleared like half the inbox. Well, I had a listener the other day sending me audio because she had made her boss listen to an episode of our show and he's like hyper Christian. So she kept sending me audio of him walking back into her office going like, and another thing about how he wanted to debate me. It was fucking hilarious.

Do it. No. Also, we got an iTunes review from from totally not a trump supporter 47 who said this show isn't about atheism anymore all they talk about is trump yeah another good point sorry for letting the nazi theocrat in charge of our government dominate the show which is about fighting against theocracy that's our bad but luckily you, we're in a restructuring mood. So, we're pleased to present the Scathing Atheist

Trump-less edition. Go. Okay, so this week in the... Nope, nope. There is no news. Oh, you're right. Right. To talk about. Okay, so let's kick things over to my lovely wife. Yeah, we definitely can't do to him Oh obviously

Yeah Hey God isn't real No No he is not Nope not real So Hmm

Oh you know what I think I get it What This is for people who want to feel smart So, hmm. Oh, oh, you know what? I think I get it. I think I get it. What, what, what? What? Okay, this is for people who want to feel smart, but don't want their ideas to have any real meaning or do anything good for the world. They just want to be right about the question of

whether or not God exists. That's it. Oh, and they want their atheism to be congratulating themselves for being right and nothing else. And nothing else. Oh, okay. Oh, I would rather die. their atheism would be congratulating themselves for being right and nothing else and nothing else. Oh, okay.

Oh, I would, um, rather die. Yeah, for sure. For sure. For sure.

Completely useless. Lemon, lemon. And last but certainly not least, we want to take a moment to thank all of you who have sent us an email or written us at our PO box. Obviously we can't reply to most of them, but I promise we do read all of them. And many of them have made Eli cry like a lot of them. A lot.

A lot. And that's all the feedback you get. If you want more, keep sending us those emails, tweets and Facebook messages. You can find all the contact info on the contact page at scathingatheist.com. page at scathingatheist.com. Before we lower the portcullis tonight, I want to remind everybody one last time that the book is available, but only the Kindle version. So far, there will be a paperback version available really soon and an audiobook version available decidedly less soon.

We will keep you posted as to what all the various formats become available, but the other ones are going to be more expensive. So you should just go ahead and get this one and help us run our way up their best sellers list anyway that's all the blast movie we've got for you tonight we'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more if you can't wait that long be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show the skeptocrat debuting at 7 a.m eastern time on monday an even newer episode of our sister show's hot friend god awful movies debuting at 7 a.m eastern time on tuesday and an even newer episode of our half sisterSister Show Citation needed debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, this show would be like one shoe dropping if I neglected to thank Ethan Wright

for making it so rewarding to keep putting these headphones on every day. I need to thank the lovely and talented Lucinda Lusions for making it so rewarding to take them off every night. I also want to thank Eli Bosnick for the spare strickle of baby pics he posts on Facebook as though he's hoarding them for some reason. Like the bad guy and Mad Max with the water, right? But God, dude, those cheeks, I need more of them. I also want to thank Sam from a Catholic hospital for providing this week's Farnsworth quote and all the other listeners who sent in clips and memories. Thank you so much for reminding us why we do what we do.

Sorry if I didn't use yours. I just got way too many to stick into one show. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's most dependable diploids, Lori, Aaron, Angie, Jordan, Daniela, Daniel, Dexter, Sonny, Shane, Jessica, Jenna, Darth Waffle, Pope Pirate, and Melanie. Lori, Aaron, Angie, Jordan, and Daniela, who are so hot stoves warn their kids not to touch them. Daniel, Dexter, Sonny, and Shane,

whose dicks have filled in more ovals than the desire to vote Trump out of office. And Jessica, Jenna, Darth Waffle, Pope Pirate, and Melanie, who are so badass, Cobra's learned to fight at them, Kai. Together, these 14 ferociously feisty fighters of faith forked over a fine fragment of folding money for the next 400 episodes this week by giving us

folding money. I already said money. It kind of fucks up my formula. Anyway, you too can give us money. You can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingatheist whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com. And if you'd like to help, but you just spent

all your expendable income on Outbreak, A Crisis of Faith, How Religion Ruined Our Global Pandemic, you can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review for the book or the podcast actually, and by telling a friend about the show. Or the book, actually. Legal services for this podcast are provided by the Law Offices of P. Andrew Torres, Tim Robertson handles our social media our audio engineer is morgan karku also

wrote all the music that was used in this episode which was used with permission if you have questions comments or death threats you can find all the contact info on the contact page at skatingads.com oh i had obama with horn-rimmed glasses. Get to the center of my Tootsie Pop. More than three, I'll tell you that. Braggy. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm, LLC.

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