The Scathing Atheist - 419: Unrushed Edition

Episode Date: February 25, 2021

In this week’s episode, we remind everyone that we cancelled the Bible before it was cool, w learn that Rush Limbaugh has exactly as many interesting thoughts now as he did when he was alive, and Georgia reminds us how Georgia they still are. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Guest Links: Hear Noah on Secular Soup here: https://secularsoup.libsyn.com/120-the-noah-lugeons-episode Check out the Mercury Theater Podcast here: https://www.mercurytheatrepodcast.com/ --- Headlines: A Georgia Democrat Filed a Bill to Inject Christian Prayers into Public Schools: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/19/a-georgia-democrat-filed-a-bill-to-inject-christian-prayers-into-public-schools/ FOX News Anchor Says Cancel Culture is “Gonna Come After Bible Characters Next”: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/19/fox-news-anchor-cancel-culture-is-gonna-come-after-bible-characters-next/ KY town to use FEMA funds to build new Church-nado shelter: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/19/a-kentucky-city-plans-to-use-1-2-million-in-fema-relief-aid-to-build-a-church/ I'm really glad Rush Limbaugh died: http://www.fuckyourface.com/rushlimbaughisapieceofshitwhodeservedtodiepainfully This Preacher Said in October He Cured Rush Limbaugh’s Lung Cancer With Prayer: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/17/this-preacher-said-in-october-he-cured-rush-limbaughs-lung-cancer-with-prayer/ Orthodox jews vote like white evangelicals: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/20/survey-orthodox-jews-unlike-other-jews-vote-just-like-white-evangelicals/ Ken Ham doesn’t think we should spend money on Mars rovers instead of bullshit: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/21/ken-ham-the-perseverance-rovers-budget-should-have-been-spent-on-creationism/ Catholic School Expels Kids After Finding Out Their Mom Has an OnlyFans Account: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/23/catholic-school-expels-kids-after-finding-out-their-mom-has-an-onlyfans-account/ Mike Lindell gets shit sued out of him: https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/22/business/dominion-voting-systems-sues-mypillow-ceo/index.html --- This Week in Misogyny: Catholic healthcare chain punishes patients for their hospital’s morality: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/02/22/catholic-healthcare-chain-punishes-ca-hospital-for-wanting-to-put-patients-first/

Changing a light bulb should be simple. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Uh-oh, that's not supposed to happen. Quickly submitting and tracking a claim on the Bel Air Direct app actually is simple. Bel Air Direct. Insurance simplified. Warning, if the profanity is the part of the show that offends you, that's pretty fucked up. This week's episode of The Skating Atheist is brought to you by the fact that Bible is only one letter away from bile. Bible being only one letter away from bile, because if I fuck around

with that church sign much longer, they're going to notice before any cars come by. And now, The Scathing Atheist. I'm John of the Mercury Theater Podcast, and while we focus on fiction in our podcast, in reality, I know that we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey men. It's Thursday. It's February 25th. And if you didn't want me to jizz in it, you shouldn't have called it a collection plate. You're lucky you didn't try to shit on it. And fail. I'm no illusions.

I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heath Enright. And from Antonin, Scalia's, New Jersey. How dare you? Cincinnati, red state and red town, blue state. This is the scathing atheist. On this week's episode, we cancel the Bible before it's cool. We ask Rush Limbaugh if he has any thoughts about the new administration.

What was that, Rush? Nothing? He doesn't have anything about it. And Georgia reminds us how Georgia they still are. But first, the diatribe. The world doesn't have enough graveyard games. I know that might strike people as a weird observation, but there's actually something deep here.

Follow me with this. The world would be a better place if we spent more time fucking off in graveyards. And that actually used to be pretty normal, apparently. Not too long ago, people largely treated cemeteries like public parks they were popular picnic spots all the way through the 1920s and it wasn't all that uncommon to see like you know kids running around playing tag in them and shit and we mostly stopped doing

that culturally because we were pushing people to go places that cost money nowadays pretty much nobody ever goes to cemeteries right like i mean some people go there to mourn but i read somewhere that the average number of visits a grave gets after the first year that the person is interred like over the entire lifetime of that grave is one right so apparently we hardly even use them for mourning anymore and as a person who enjoys wandering around in cemeteries i can say from experience that unless you show up on the day of a funeral, you're pretty much never going to come across anybody. And that's a shame because cemeteries are gorgeous. They're filled with history and there are great places to think about death. Now, I know that that last bit is the reason why most

people avoid them, but it turns out that's actually a worse reason to avoid them than the fact that they're filled with history. See, contrary to the common assumption and contrary to my own assumption until i started looking deeper into this shit thinking about death actually makes people happier very consistently including and one might go so far as to say especially when it's one's own death that they're thinking about now i'm sure that this depends on circumstance, right? Like if you're contemplating your own mortality because that train's coming awful fast and you haven't gotten out of the ropes yet, I don't think it tracks the same. But reflecting on the fact that you die at the end of this story is actually really good for your overall happiness. This is

borne out again and again in studies. I don't know if there's like a definitive word on why, but there are several reasonable hypotheses, right? Like it helps you keep your current problems in perspective. It encourages you to slow down and smell the roses. It prompts you to forgive transgressions and get over your grudges. I mean, it could just be that you like flush all the sadness and melancholy out at once. But one way or the other, it tends to make us happy. And that makes me question a lot of assumptions i've had about religion right so i i always assume that one of the main reasons

that people cling to religion is because robbing them of fake immortality forces them to contemplate death but if contemplating death actually makes people happy that changes the calculus a bit i mean you know maybe i i always assumed religion discouraged people from thinking about death's finality because it left people unprepared for questions of their mortality right but what if they're against it for the same reason they discourage masturbation and butt stuff what if they discourage it because they know it's a source of happiness i mean i don't mean to sound conspiratorial here, but I'm reminded of Brave New World, right?

Where like everybody was terrified that if they stepped out of line, they'd be exiled to a dreaded island where they'd be isolated from the rest of society and subject to those terrible tropical storms that they'd seen the news footage of. But it turned out that living on a tropical island is fucking awesome.

And terrible storms are just a very minor part of it. Like for so many people the thought of contemplating death is actually so much worse than the thought of death and look i get that it might sound weird to tell depressed people to cheer themselves up with a quick stroll through a cemetery i mean it sounds like a fucking threat actually but it's really good advice and if you want to get the most out of it don't just pass by look at the headstones read them think about who those people were and what your headstone is going to look like clear some weeds have a picnic play some tag i mean look i find the whole

practice of saving all our dead people to be weird to begin with i'm intending to donate my body to science and if science can't find a use for it, I can donate it to the nearest fucking haunted house. But if we're going to have those places anyway, we might as well get some use out of them. And to be honest, I feel like everybody should be cool with that, right? I mean, if you actually think your loved one is somehow attached to their corpse, would you rather they spent eternity resting in a dour ass empty place that kids run past or a place bathed in laughter, happiness and Nerf gun fights? You know, and I should emphasize that this isn't just about our personal happiness, though that should probably be enough. Every time we contemplate death without all the

bullshit crutches that the churches and mosques try to stick under it, we're taking another bite out of religion's power. The more willing to embrace our mortality we are, the less religious people have to fear on our side of the fence. So, you know, if you're like me and you're not motivated enough by your own potential happiness, do it for spite. They're talking about you, Jesus. We interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are the aragorn and gimli to my legless heathen right neil i

bosnick fellowship are you ready to step back in the ring never thought i'd die podcasting side by side with a ginger uh you know i think he's not gimli that's adorable you were supposed to say you were my friend. Everybody was. That's your lie. In our lead story tonight, with Trump finally out of office, Georgia lawmakers decided it was time to justify the existence of our show again. And it comes from a Democrat who also wanted to remind everyone that you can't forget about the Georgia part of her title. I wanted to remind everyone that you can't forget about the Georgia part of her title. Georgia State Representative Sharon Henderson, again, a Democrat,

just introduced a new bill that would make sure the children of Georgia finally get some exposure to the teachings of Jesus Christ during their time at public school. For all the secular education people, you had no idea what I was talking about just now. That's the son of God, Jesus of Nazareth or Galilee. It's kind of a big deal. So the bill calls for a very long, very specific Christian prayer to get an official time slot at the beginning of every school day in public school. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think about that sometimes living in Georgia. I'm like, wow, you know, from my front lawn, I can't even see the church steeple

that I can literally see from my backyard. So I have to look to a different church steeple that I can literally see from my front yard. So yeah, 50% of the directions a kid could look from my yards, both of them have no exposure to Christianity at all. What are us libs hiding? So here's some of the exact wording in the bill about what christian kids would be chanting while the heathen kids sit quietly in their free speech heathen cage i guess they'll have says that at the beginning of every school

day a student can call for all the christian kids to stand up and recite a prayer. Yeah, always a good start when everyone stands up and surrounds the Jewish kids desk. And that prayer, by the way, includes all of the following. Quote, we pray for all students, teachers, and staff who work here. We give you all the children who study here. You is Jesus Christ of Nazareth, is the son of God I was telling you about before. That'll get spelled out literally in a second in the bill. Continuing, may this be a place where we love to learn and a place where we learn to love. They're so fucking excited about their parallel verbing there. A place where everyone is respected and all are deeply valued.

That's right. Heathen cage and Jewish kids surrounded. You're deeply valued. And respected. Oh yeah. And respected. Great. It's in the bill. How could you not be? Continuing one more time. Bless us to maintain good health and protect us from evil.

We ask these blessings through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. End quote in a bill about a public school prayer. Yes. Yes, you offer some compromise. Okay, okay. How about we ask these secular blessings through Jesus Christ, our Lord? How about that?

Just imagine if a Muslim tried this. Not even in Georgia. Just anywhere in America, a Muslim was like... Imagine one Muslim kid stood up and did this. God. And by the way, the bill also mentions that the Pledge of Allegiance would follow the praying. Jesus. Because apparently the American public school system is crushing it too hard, if anything.

And we need to dial back all the academic stuff by a couple minutes. Between this lady and Matt Gaetz, I don't think we're going to have time left for anything but Jesus loyalty pledges. And in dispatches from the cancel culture wars news.

Admittedly, it's got to be hard to be a Fox News anchor right now. For the better part of a decade, Fox News wrung its hands about tan suits until they got what they always wanted, President Grandpa Fox News viewer. Someone whose Diet Coke stained lips repeated whatever the fuck they said on the national stage. But Fox News, like all right-wing pundits, hates its audience. While they love to propagate the myth of the liberal elite, the right wing elite are actually very real. And soon President Grandpa turned on them, caused a plague and tried to overthrow the government. So I think it's fair to say these days their heart just isn't in it.

Just Tom Waits singing the ballad of Tucker Carlson all sad. Takes off his bow tie in the dark. Exactly. Well, we got further evidence of my theory this week when on their 800th straight segment about how cancel culture is the reason people don't want statues of traitors to the union all over the country. Reporter Bill Hemmer said, quote, If they start canceling these American presidents, they're going to come after Bible characters next. Mark my words, right? End quote. OK, but but that is cancel culture.

We want to cancel anything that glorifies slavery. They think anti-slavery is cancel culture gone too far. And they think canceling anti-slavery canceling is not too far the layers of stupid are breathtaking on that well and also like there's literally no better thing to cancel than bible character like i have no fucking clue what that would mean to cancel a bible character fucking doeg the edomite gets kicked off a Twitter. They take down Mordecai's Netflix fucking special, but good. Whatever that means, good. Yeah.

And as many have pointed out, the Bible is just a series of stories of God canceling people who piss him off for, you know, fucking near a door or lighting a fire wrong or being a good guy when you make a bet with Satan. Right. fire wrong or yeah being a good guy when you make a bet with satan right however it is a fantastic example of what the term cancel culture has come to mean right we've gone from cancel culture being the belief that sometimes the left can go too far or be overly punitive in their attempts at social justice to cancel culture meaning when you talk about the bad things that people said or did right well or even when you just fail to let them talk about how good the bad things people said or did were right exactly and in rebuild that wall news tonight the town of versailles kentucky which given the state it's in

is probably pronounced versailles has decided to disregard It's literally Versailles. Oh, is it really? Versailles, yeah. I live pretty close to that. I mean, I did grow up in Detroit after all, so okay, fine. So anyway, for Versailles, Kentucky has decided

to disregard the beaded curtain of separation altogether and just spend a million dollars of federal tax money to build a fucking church. but since the church will let heathens in if there's a tornado they're pretty sure that's legal and since nothing's illegal if you've got evangelical support up to and including armed insuffucking rection there's no guarantee that this one's gonna get struck down by the courts or anything. You kidding? 2024. Okay, the Supreme Court has ruled Noah, Heath, and Eli literally have to help build the church

or they go to jail. Right. So, yeah, so the proposal is to build a dome that could house 2,000 people and reinforce it to where it could withstand 250 mph winds. And since the church has all that available land and, you know, since they're willing to foot almost 12.5 percent of the bill,

the town thought, why the hell not make the tornado shelter also an extension on this church? And apparently nobody answered that question. Oh, because of the First Amendment, because they went ahead with that goddamn plan. OK, well, I just got Callie Wright from Queersplaining, a raincoat and a MyPillow for their podcast studio in Kentucky. I think the state owes Callie, what, 87.5% of a new laptop and some mics and no taxes? Yeah. Or at the very least a podcasting dome.

Oh, well, they'll let Christians in if there's ever a storm. Yeah, absolutely. Great. Now, the city's mayor, Brian Trogot, I don't know, he tries to hand wave away concerns about the impropriety by saying, quote, it doesn't matter to me if the church or a ping pong facility also uses the building as long as a shelter is in place. End quote. Got it. Heard you.

Yeah. And while it's nice to know that the constitutionally protected rights of his constituents don't matter to Brian Trogot, that's not exactly a legal argument and it didn't stop the ffrf from sending letters to both him and fema pointing out that this is forbidden by the u.s constitution kentucky state constitution and fema's internal policies well regardless our stem cell ping pong tournament has a dome arena and i'm excited game on don't worry nerds while heath is losing at ping pong tournament has a dome arena. And I'm excited. Game on. Don't worry, nerds. While Heath is losing at ping pong to Brian Cox, you and I can be in the Richard Dawkins Memorial ball pit. We'll make it work.

No way that anybody's going to lose. The physicist? Yeah. I'm going to lose at ping pong. Whatever. Of course. Now, if there is a single group that cares the least in america about constitutional protections against religious coercion it's the supreme court's conservative majority so even money bet you and i are building

versailles kentucky a new church yep i'll get the i'll i'll gather all the couldn't think of a building thing could you i will be in my ball pit and in b rush with death news rush limbaugh died slowly and painfully i would imagine also unloved yeah pretty sure that would be part of it too so if we have any rush limbaugh family members or close friends listening right now go ahead and fast forward a couple minutes um and if you're one of those close friends, after you fast forward, stop listening to our show entirely. This is not for you. What the fuck are you doing here? What if they're patrons? Come to Cincinnati. I'll give you all your money back in person. Like angry Cecil. All right. So pennies that I'm...

Eh. Eh. Diesel. All right. So pennies that I'm. Okay. So I know you're not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but yes, you are. Yes, you are. If they're horrible, you are.

They don't get a timeout. If they're horrible, they actually get the opposite. We get reminded about their horrible existence when they die and we talk about it. So here we go. Especially considering he died right before we started recording the show last week. Like a fucking asshole. So we couldn't talk about it much. So, you guys have any solemn words to say? Maybe a

eulogy dance move? I just hate that he's not still dying. You know? I guess I wish he could have his cancer and be eaten by it, too. I don't know. So just in case anyone didn't spend the last 30 years listening to conservative talk radio, I understand Rush Limbaugh was hot garbage. There you go.

You know what? Actually, I'm going to say tepid garbage. I don't like that hot can have positive connotations outside of this context. I don't like that. I don't like him being adjacent to a context that is good in any way. Tepid garbage. I don't like that hot can have positive connotations outside of this context. I don't like that. I don't like him being adjacent to a context that is good in any way. Tepid garbage. And Limbaugh spent his entire career as an activist for, you guessed it, Christian white men, pseudoscience, pseudo-history, pseudo-economics, and just bigot stuff in general. That includes a celebration segment about people who died of AIDS and how

they deserved it. It was disgusting. He later non-apologized for that. So, fuck your dead face. Fuck your dead face super, super hard while it's like squishier and you can mold it. Yeah. Oh, come on. It was already squishy and moldable while he

was alive. That's not good. Yeah. Oh, come on. It was already squishy and moldable while he was alive. That's not good. Yeah. Right. Right. He's not, but now it's like rotting potato head. Do, do, do some art.

Do whatever you want to do. Fuck your dead face. So he also notably claimed there's no proof about nicotine being addictive and there's no proof that smoking causes emphysema, heart disease,

and lung cancer. He also non-apologized for that and later admitted that nicotine is addictive and then he died of lung cancer and of course complications related to irony he also more than any other person paved the way for donald trump so yeah here's hoping this latest act was another example of exactly that. Exactly. I'm just saying, if all these right-wingers singing his praises meant it, they'd go full Kurt Cobain.

You know? Right? You're artists. You're all artists. Go with him. Many listeners might be surprised to hear about this fatal case of lung cancer

taking Rush Limbaugh's life. You probably remember back in October of last year when Christian Wright Preacher and oncology shaman Lance Wallnau announced that he cured Limbaugh's cancer with praying. But it turns out God is a pretty big fan of Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck. Those are the competitors. So that spell got rejected by God. Bad news for Limbaugh, but good news for Hannity and Glenn Beck. Those are the competitors. So that spell got rejected by God. Bad news for Limbaugh,

but good news for Hannity and Beck. And they can definitely start smoking way more and like handling snakes, doing all that stuff. Or the Bible is the lie. I mean, it just seems like it sets up a really easy experiment. Great opportunity to convert me, convert so many people. Yeah. Do it. Oh, absolutely.

You know what we call not getting practice cancer for lance wall now to cure with prayer magic sean and glenn we call it hiding from heaven yeah okay blasphemy it's called blasphemy so uh limbaugh's family welcome back thanks for listening hi if you heard about shaman walnau's cure and that's why rush stopped seeking medical care you can go ahead and sue the fuck out of lance walnau whenever you're ready we actually know a lawyer who has a google alert for sue insert religious leader bigot of any kind so if you announce it online you'll probably get a phone call about a pro bono offer so you're welcome yeah and also rush

limbo's family thanks for sneaking all those extra carcinogens into his food over the years or or fuck you for not sneaking extra carcinogens into his food over the years and in oh jews news podcast listener come here come here i got it i got a secret to tell you News news. Psst. Psst. Podcast listener. Come here. Come here. I got a secret to tell you. They're already listening. Orthodox Jews suck. Oh, you knew that already?

Did you know that they're super conservative politically? You did? Okay. Did you know that they keep behind modern and secular Jews to keep people from focusing on those things all while crying anti-Semitism whenever there are reasonable attempts to make them follow laws? Damn, you knew that, too. Well, did you know we confirmed all that with a survey this week?

You didn't? Oh, good. Then I've got a story for you. Yeah. So, you know what? I, for one, appreciate a religion that's willing to have a nuttiness based dress code. Right. It would save me so much trouble if Christians would just do that shit.

Oh, he's got the I'm very Christian beard going on. Oh, no. He's got the MyPillow crucifix. Oh, wait, they do. Yeah, they've got a red hat now and everything. They've got stuff. Yes, according to a new survey of 449 Orthodox Jews conducted by Nishma Research, quote, Orthodox Jews who strictly adhere to traditional teachings are increasingly voting Republican

and spouting familiar conspiracy theories former President Donald Trump has stoked, end quote. And when asked what their top issues were in the recent election, those Orthodox Jews replied, Israel, Iran, and terrorism. Wow. They were also far more likely to agree with statements like Trump won the election, those Orthodox Jews replied Israel, Iran, and terrorism. Wow. They were also far more likely to agree with statements like Trump won the election, places of worship must remain open during the pandemic, and Antifa is more dangerous than white supremacists.

Wow. Lovely. So moral of the story, Orthodox blank is pretty much guaranteed to be bad. Yes, it is. Definitely if it's a religion in the blank. But I have to imagine the Orthodox Jewish community has some smart people thinking to themselves all the time like, What the fuck are we doing here? What are you guys doing?

This is so dumb. And those people can get out just like so many of our listeners did with oppressive religion. I'm sure it's not easy, but we have dedicated hotlines for that exact hostage situation. They have to exist because of this. You can call 1-8-4-I-DOUBT-IT for the Recovering From Religion Foundation, for example. They can help. And if you're super brave, I'm not saying you have to be, but if you are, you can become the Donnie Brasco of Orthodox Judaism. You're already on the inside. It's perfect.

Yeah, Orthodox Jews that are listening to the scathing Indiast. Oh, and also, like, on a related note, if the thing that you do is awful proportional to how thoroughly you do it, by definition, that's a bad thing. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And if you're wondering, hey, is it a problem for orthodox jews that the far right fucking hates them uh no as it turns out according to this survey not at all as religion news pointed out one of the capital riot terrorists aaron mostowski is the son of an

influential brooklyn judge and an orthodox jew all right, this riots fun. The swastikas are offensive. Yeah, but but her emails. I mean, that's I'm weighing it. I'm on the right side of history. And look, it's worth pointing out that this is a shift the mainstream media has largely ignored. I mean, first of all, because most Jews are way more liberal and sane, which balances out the stats when it comes to Jews as a group. But secondly, it's because every time someone's pointed out how much Orthodox Jews suck in history, they kind of get mean about it. And then there's camps. It's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. But it is important to note and even more important to remember that regardless of creed, race, or even denomination, the thing that right-wing nutbags will always have in common is religion.

And for more on the other things that they have in common, we're going to toss things over to my lovely wife, Lucinda. A man wrote the Bible? A whore is what she was. If it's a legitimate race. It's a slut, right? Cooking can be fun. Hey, I'm proud of a man. This Week in Massage. If you're the kind of person that worries about things like fair access to medical care for women,

one of the most disturbing trends in the country is the steady encroachment of the Catholic Church on America's hospitals. To be clear, this isn't just a women's rights issue. Anytime you're putting religious dogma ahead of patient health, everybody's bound to suffer. And Catholic churches refuse to perform vasectomies. They refuse death with dignity regardless of the state law, and they do other shit that's just terrible for everybody. But nowhere is their religious blind spot more apparent than in terms of women's reproductive rights. Well, Hogue Memorial Hospital in LA seems to have noticed that to at least some degree. After years of affiliation with the Catholic hospital chain Providence Health,

Hogue decided to prioritize its patients over a dead carpenter's outdated moral philosophy. So they filed a lawsuit because apparently that's the only way to escape from that affiliation. The lawsuit specifically says that the hospital and the community it serves have, quote, suffered from the expanding imposition of Catholic Church restrictions on healthcare upon Hoag's largely non-sectarian operations, end quote.

And look, if you or I were somehow affiliated with a hospital that felt like we were getting in the way of the health of their community, we'd just voluntarily withdraw. But then again, if we found out we were accidentally running an international child rape cartel, we would stop doing that too. Because even the least moral person listening to this show

is more moral than the Catholic Church. So instead of making this an easy transition for Hoag and its patients, Providence Health has decided to punish them. All of them. First, they terminated Hoag specialists from the network of medical providers without informing patients so that they'd have no time to find new specialists or new health care plans for 2021. Then they started sending patients to other facilities,

even if they had to send them way the fuck farther away. And basically, they're doing all this shit in the hopes that they can force Hoag to breach their contract before the lawsuit goes through. Again, and this is worth emphasizing, to put the squeeze on a hospital that doesn't want Jesus' rules to interfere with patient care, these motherfuckers are sacrificing the health of their patients. This is yet another instance where Catholics get involved in a noble enterprise and corrupt it. That's such a consistent outcome at this point that I don't see how anybody argues that's not just the purpose that they serve. Anyway, I know I'm supposed to talk more specifically about misogyny on this segment,

but this is a bit of a pet issue of mine, so you can bet I'm following it closely. So with the promise that I'll have more weird menstruation hut, rapey abortion laws type shit for you next time, I'll hand things back over to Noah, Heath and Eli. Thank you, Lucinda. And in not necessarily news tonight. Fantastic. The group of people Americans can't collectively trust on questions like, does putting shit in front of my face make it harder for stuff to escape from my face? Is it warm in here or is it just me? And what shape is our planet managed to land a one ton sedan full of delicate equipment in a crater 40 million miles away?

Again, motherfucker kicked up so much Martian dust. Some of it got my eyes back here on Earth. But not everybody was as pleased as I was with the picture perfect landing. back here on Earth. But not everybody was as pleased as I was with the picture-perfect landing. Many begrudged the feeble 0.48% of the federal budget

that we devote to all of space plus the enormous amount of other science shit we expect from NASA because the government failed to first solve all of the social problems. But some had even dumber objections,

such as Ken Ham, who lamented how wasteful it was to search for science of life on Mars when we already have a book that tells us which planets God did and didn't create life on. I need these astronauts to come back and be like,

so yeah, we found something on Mars with that rover. It's the Laser Bible 2.0. It's on a laser shroud. It's like super futuristic. It just says, let me quote it here, scratch that, be nice, the end. That's it. It's like super futuristic. It just says, let me quote it here, scratch that, be nice, the end.

That's it. That's the Bible. Yeah, here we are wasting money on science that demonstrably proves Ken Ham's worldview wrong when we could be building another boat that doesn't float that demonstrably disproves Ken Ham's worldview. Yeah, that too. Right, right.

So here's the stupid ass quote referring to perseverance as stated goal of looking for signs of early life on the red planet. Ham Facebook's quote. This is an example of evolutionary beliefs

driving research. What an impact there might be if $3 billion was spent to show people life on Earth could never have evolved by natural processes and that the very first verse of the Bible is confirmed

by science, end quote. So dumb. I'm not going to attempt an exhaustive list of everything wrong with those 48 words because we only have the one internet to put this thing on and people will get mad if I fill it up. So instead, I'm just going to focus on the fact that

A, no conceivable budget could prove life couldn't arise from natural processes, even if Ham was actually correct about the origins of life. And B, admitting you'd need $3 billion to even begin to prove the first sentence of your inerrant book is not a great admission on your part. And just to be clear, the first line of the Bible says, in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And NASA was like,

hey, we literally flew to the heavens for you. I mean, that's like a really stupid way to describe it, but that's what you think happened. Like, how would you prove it with more money? Yeah, right. All right, we got our $3 billion. Let's start with how light existed before the stars and how the waters existed. Right. All right. We got our $3 billion. Let's start with how

light existed before the stars and how the waters existed before Earth. All right. Let's get cracking, everybody. Of course, look, if anybody knows about spending enormously stupid

amounts of money to prove creationism, it is Ken Ham, whose $100 million landlocked, non-buoyant boat exists for that sole purpose. Well, that and the tax break thing. But still, we know that since its opening in 2016,

the number of self-identified Christians in this country has dropped from something like 73.5% to less than 65%. So his track record so far strikes me as the best possible justification for letting him build a whole fleet, I guess. Yeah, and for $3 billion he could get a second shit-sweeping broom. A second one. It'd be so much easier

or an extra wide one. Mmm. Shit rake. Also, by the way, I know there aren't astronauts in the new rover. I just want to be clear about that. I don't know that. And in teacher teacher news, Catholic schools suck. I know some people feel like they've got no choice but to send their kids there because it's often the only private school option in their area.

But we got another reminder this week about why you probably shouldn't support an international rape cabal. Yeah, we'll keep mentioning those reasons, but can everyone just stop doing that, like, a priori, without us mentioning them, too? Yeah, Sacred Heart Parish, a Catholic school in Sacramento, California, has expelled three kids because their mom has an OnlyFans account. Oh, look, I'm relieved any time kids are expelled from a Catholic school,

but yeah, that's still pretty fucked up yeah yes it is so crystal jackson known as mrs poindexter makes over a hundred and fifty thousand dollars a month with her tasteful nudes slash lingerie shoots on only fans but instead of being happy for miss jackson the other moms in her children's classes decided to get her kids expelled, sending an anonymous envelope of her photos to the school and removing her as a second grade room mom. And then last week, the school's principal let her know that she'd need to find a new school for her kids because, quote, your apparent quest for high profile controversy in support of your adult website is in direct conflict with what we hope to impart

to our students. End real quote. That quest, by the way, for high-profile controversy was existing. Yeah. She existed in a manner that was both high-profile

and controversial, apparently. Yeah. Also, I think I'd like to file a complaint about some people who sent pornography to a school. Yeah.

Thank you. Thank you. I feel like we're missing complaint about some people who sent pornography to a school. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. I feel like we're missing a really awkward. No, no, no. I'm sending you an envelope full of nude pictures you haven't paid for of a person that we both know without their permission to demonstrate how perverse they are conversation, right? Like that had to happen. That has so many. Punish them.

Horrible. Mad at them. And you might be thinking to yourself, okay, Eli, that obviously sucks for Miss Jackson, but what does that have to do with Catholic schools? Well, because Sacred Heart is a private religious school, their shitty behavior is 100% legal. Public schools, rightly, aren't allowed to expel students

because their mom has nudes on the internet, but religious schools are. And look, I know you want the best for your kids, and maybe this hasn't happened to you. I hope it never does. But if you're sending your kids to a place where their lives can be upset on a whim like this, here's hoping our podcast never comes up when it's your turn to drive for carpool. I'm rooting for it to happen. And finally tonight, in from pillow to post news,

we learned this week that there's no limit to how much misery I can enjoy watching Mike Lindell go through. Right? Now, to be honest, we strongly suspected that that was the case last week,

but it was confirmed when we learned that Dominion Voting Systems is officially adding the MyPillow founder to its long list of defamation defendants like rudy head puddle giuliani and sydney get crack and pal mike lindell finds himself staring

down the barrel of a 10 figure lawsuit for his repeated claims that dominion engaged in various types of fraud treason voter tampering and foreign collusion delightful i hate to be oppositional noah but as someone who recently watched his documentary i don't think you can get that from the barely connected word yells any more than you get a meatloaf recipe all right no that's fair that's probably his best defense don't give him any ideas so yeah lindell has spent the last several months engaged in a pattern of behavior that dominion spokesman mich Steele has described as, quote, begging to be sued, end quote. He's taken to every venue that will have him to spread a story with more inconsistencies than his fucking

pillows about how Hillary, China, Clinton, Venezuela, Satan, Soros stole all of Trump's votes and replaced it with communist Jews. That's barely exaggerating. That's what's described in the movie. So among the places he spread that lie was a two-hour video first aired on oan and reviewed on episode 287 of gam if you're interested and i would challenge anyone who watched that thing to summarize his claims better than i just did i can't wait to see this case just exhibit a the accidental real crime documentary of the documentarian committing the crimes that we're charging him for and uh i guess exhibit b watch me whip and watch me name it i don't know i have it seems weird to just have the one yeah so oh i gotta see i gotta see hey mike lindell

come over here dropping a mic on your face there we go cool and by the way it's worth emphasizing that the lawsuit isn't just claiming that Mike Lindell is lying about the election it claims that he's lying about the election to sell up pillows which is absolutely fucking true as evidenced by the coupon codes cited in the lawsuit itself. Fight for Trump, proof, and QAnon. And QAnon. Yep. QAnon is a goddamn fucking coupon code that'll net you a discount on your next MyPillow purchase.

Of course, Lindell insists he's not doing this to sell pillows at all, and he offers up the fact that he's been banned from Twitter and dropped from every major retailer in the country, and that's cost him at least $65 million. So, even if his defense is correct, I'm just happy either way.

Okay. I don't have a lot of positive things to say about Hitler, but at least he never came out and was like, alright, everyone use the code FINALSOLUTION at Weigauf Innerschnitzel for 10% off plus free shipping.

Right? All right. So with yet another way that Hitler was better than Trump delineated, I guess we can close the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Weigauf Wienerschnitzel. When we come back, we'll don some Ford. Gimme. You're stretching it guys guys what's with all the racket eli's trying to steal my favorite t-shirt but all mine are scratchy

fellas the sport of business means demanding excellence from your craft and wardrobe your fit needs to be versatile blending timeless style and comfort so you look as good as you feel. For that, there's Cuts Clothing. Why are you talking like a douchebag? It's in the copy. Oh, okay. So what's Cuts Clothing? Cuts shirts, polos, hoodies, and crew sweatshirts are made for the man who works hard, plays hard, and never settles for less.

All in the sport of business. I'm sorry, did you just say the sport of business? Again, it's copy. Take a plain tea, but make it Tony Stark. The bleeding edge of fabric technology beats the man confident enough to wear it. Cuts clothing.

God, I hate this so much. Not as much as me. So if you've ever blown vape smoke into the face of a baby, why not flip your vision board upside down and buy yourself a t-shirt today that'll make you say, it's not just a lifestyle, it's not just clothing, it's office leisure apparel for the sport

of business. Holy shit, they said it again in the must read with a trademark? Yep. Cuts clothing. Their shirts are fine. Their copy reads like a date rapist suicide note. If you ask someone what they were reading and they said a very intellectual, non-pornographic book I didn't steal, you'd have plenty of reasons for doubt. People have the same suspicions about a book whose fans feel the need to pre-label it the good book, which is why we're breaking it down the easy way with another installment of Bible Peace Theater. Last time on Bible Peace Theater.

Oh, girl, I'm about to spill the tea. So Saul was supposed to be king of the Jews, right? But then he sacrificed animals without talking to G.O.D. So Sammy Sam done torn his skirt off and went to Rama. But not before he introduces Saul to this tight looking boy named David. So David slays Goliath and then starts to kiki with Saul and his son Jojo at the same time. So God sets an evil spirit upon Saul who makes him want to cut a bitch. But Jonathan convinces his dad not to make anybody hold his hoops,

but he's still full on grudging. Did you understand any of that? It's pretty accurate. That's all in the book. Oh. That's really all in the book. All right. Well, wouldn't you know it,

an evil spirit comes upon Saul again. Saul. Saul. Saul. Saul. Saul! Saul! Saul! Saul! Colonel Trigger, what evil spirit that God sent to trouble me? You should kill David. Um, if I kill David, will you go away? Maybe. Fine. Servants!

Yes, Saul? Bring me David from his house. You got it, Saul. Ooh, is this trail mix? No. That's potpourri. I don't speak French. So then I said maybe I will run for governor.

King Saul? Oh, governor. Uh-huh. King Saul? Oh, sorry. Yes, servants, did you bring me David? About that. So we talked to his wife. Whoa, David has a wife? Yeah, she's my daughter. Himbo alert.

Anyway, she says he's sick in bed and can't come. Boo, nerd, murder. Do in bed and can't come. Boo! Nerd! Murder! Do the murder! Fine, fine. Bring him to me in his bed. Oh.

Okay, then. Yes, sir. And you'll kill him there? Yes. Yes. You're going to kill him? I'll kill him in his bed. Yes.

Yes, I'll kill him there. Sweet. Okay, cool. Hey, did I ever tell you the story about the time your brother set a dog on fire? Yes. You told me that one. He did, though. And then my dad paid off the judge.

King Saul? Yes. Servants. Finally. Where's David? Yeah, about that. We went there to grab him and it turned out that it was just like a stack of pillows and stuff under the blankets. Okay, seriously, you got Ferris Bueller'd? It would appear so, yes, sir.

Did he at least have a tape recorder making a snoring sound? No, sir, nor a trophy that made him roll over. Fine. Fine. Does anyone know where he is? Oh, no, we do. Yeah, he's in Ramah with Samuel. Well, why didn't you say that in the first place?

Go get him. Yeah, and then we'll kill him, right? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. You got any more potpourri? No, you ate it all. Boo! Get more.

So Saul's men go to Ramah to get David, but as soon as they arrive, they're struck by prophecy. What does that mean? It's not clear. Some people think it's the Holy Spirit. Other people think it's like the fact that they're in Samuel's presence. I think I know exactly what happened.

David, stop right there. We, the men of Saul, are going to take you to... WandaVision is going to suck! I'm sorry, what? Sorry, don't know what got into me there. We're here to arrest you and take you back to... They should have just opened with the external story and now they don't know what kind of show they want to be.

Are you okay? No, I... No. What I really mean to say is... I mean, I get it. It's Disney. They gotta follow the formula, but it started so good. Okay, I'm just gonna go. Stop right here.

Saul! That's right. When I heard my messengers failed, I came here to... I mean, is it really so much to ask that superheroes grow beyond look? We found a new bad guy. What was that? I don't know, Saul. It seems to be happening to everyone here.

Did you just rip off all your clothes? Yeah, I have no idea why that... I mean, is it so much to ask that we get more Logan because Logan was so good and I feel like it didn't get the credit it deserved? Look, I'm going to go. I thought Logan was just okay. You're wrong.

David, you're back. Yes, Jonathan. Your father pursued me to Rama, but luckily he got overtaken by Eli's incredibly good takes about the Marvel Universe. Yeah, no, I'm sure people love that and we won't get emails. Yeah, but I'm here now and I love you as my own soul. I love you as my own soul. Okay, how do people not think this is a gay relationship? I have no idea.

I mean, like, they ignore a lot of stuff in this book, though. Yeah, I guess that's fair. It's in this book, though. Yeah, I guess that's fair. It's just so gay, though. Yeah, so gay. But Jonathan, why does your father want to kill me? I don't know, but I'll find out in the meantime. But boy, come here. Uh, yes, sir?

When I send for you, shoot three arrows at this boy. Sorry, what? He's going to shoot? If they land before him, shoot three arrows at this boy. Sorry, what? He's going to shoot? If they land before him, then you're safe to return. If they land after him, go thy way. Hey, really quick, just a question. I will do as you command, Jonathan, for I love you as my own soul. Okay, no, just any chance you guys could have a, you know, a non-shooting-at-me-based system?

Shut up, kid. You're ruining the moment totally ruining it okay uh dad you wanted to see me yes jonathan it's about david um let's see how do i put this delicately uh are you guys fucking? Oh, totally, yeah. Are you guys fucking? Well, yes, definitely. I mean, I'm mostly trying to kill him now, but yes, fucking on the side. Wow, this is getting a real

Heath Enright search history up in this bitch. Right? Right? Incredible. Heath, get out of the Bible Peace Theater. You're not even in that part of the Bible Peace Theater. Hey, he's not doing a weird thing with my sexuality. He's building an industry that doesn't even make any sense.

Anyway, why do you want to kill him anyway, Dad? You mean besides the fact that he's fucking my son? Yeah. Well, you know, it's probably... Hey, you almost, it's probably... Javelin! Hey! You almost hit me with that! Oh, oh, oh, did I? Oh, I am so sorry about that.

That was real fuck-your-boyfriend thing of me to do, wasn't it? You know, I think I'm gonna go. Hey! Try not to fuck anyone's boyfriend on the way out to the parking lot, okay? Think you can manage that and jonathan gave his artillery unto his lad and said unto him go carry them to the city and david arose out of the place towards the south and fell on his face to the ground and bowed himself three times and they kissed one another and wept one with another until david. That means fuck stuff, right? Yeah, man, it's fuck stuff.

It's definitely fuck stuff. Right, yeah. So David runs away again, this time to the land of Nob. I feel like David's already visited the land of Nob plenty, if you know what I mean. Okay, okay. Because he's gay.

He's a homosexual. No, we get it, Nob. Yeah. So Saul chases David some more. Then they take a break to kill some Philistines, but it all comes to a head in the wilderness of Engedi. David. David, we've been running away from Saul for such a long time now.

We really need to rest. Yes, that's fair, ragtag band of guys I formed an army with. Let's hide in this cave. Saul, we've been chasing David around this wilderness for a while now. I know an army with. Let's hide in this cave. Saul, we've been chasing David around this wilderness for a while now. I know, I know, and we shall continue to hunt him until I can kill him. But let's

hold up a second. I've got to take a shit. You know, you could just say, I got to take a bathroom break. Yeah, but then you won't know how long I'm going to be. I mean, we're going to figure it out. Lou, Lou, Lou. Getting ready to shit stuff.

Hey, David. David, that's Saul. Now's your chance to kill him. Really? Now? You think now? There's a turtle head. I mean, look.

Listen to me. He can't fight back right now. Yeah, I know, but this seems weird, right? And then the liquid starts. Oh, God. Oh, I shouldn't have eaten all that hummus. Dude, he's been trying to kill you for, like, the last two Bible Peace Theaters. Don't you want to get back at him? Here we go. Come on.

Okay, okay, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'm going to cut off a piece of his skirt. Oh, God. Why? What? Just trust me. Trust me. Okay, I guess, but go between the shits. Okay, gross.

Oh, now it's gross now? Saul. David. At last. Look, I don't want to fight you. And the proof is this. Is that a piece of my skirt? It is.

I cut it off while you were shitting just now. Oh. You guys saw that? Very much so, yes. Yes, we did. Ryan? Ryan? Do you mind?

I'm doing a... Sorry. Sorry. It was just, yes. Yes, we did. Ryan? Ryan? Do you mind? I'm doing a... Sorry. Sorry. It was just so much. It was a lot. The point is, Saul, I could have killed you, but I didn't because I love you and I would never hurt you. Oh, David.

You mean that? Like, seriously, you should probably go to a doctor. Ryan! Ryan! Okay, okay. I'm done. I'm done. Well, then, David, you should probably go to a doctor. Ryan! Ryan! Okay, okay, I'm done. I'm done. Well then, David, you listen to me.

I will never try to kill you again. And look, I know someday you'll be king. Just please, please don't kill me or my family. You got it, Saul. You got it. All right. I'm headed home. or my family. You got it, Saul. You got it. Alright. I'm headed home. Okay. I'm gonna stay in this cave

and kill some more Philistines. The cave where I took a shit? Yeah. It's a really good hiding spot. Okay, okay, David. Okay, good luck. Hey, question. Are we allowed to switch over

to Saul's team and go home? Ryan! I'm coming! I'm coming. And with one of the Bible's best poop joke setups in the rear view, we're going to close out for the night. But don't worry, there's always plenty of more shit in the Bible, so we'll be back next month with even more... Bible Peace Theory. Peace It's time for the part of the show that comes next

Listener feedback This is the part of the show that almost never comes next But when it does, it does And our first message Comes from Mance Who wants to know Okay seriously What will it take to get you guys,

one of you guys, Noah, to debate Matt Powell? I will wrestle any mammal, end quote. I mean, Mance, at least one mammal you'd have to wrestle is Noah. Yeah, right. And possibly Matt Powell as well. Look, the only way I'm going to do it is if I get to smack him with my dick and he's not allowed to talk or gesture.

So we might be able to talk him into that. I don't know. We'll try. What will we debate about? Whether or not pterodactyls fought in the Civil fucking War? Whether coats are a perfect trap that we fell into. So we also got several comments from, I shit you not, Chumbawamba fans. What the fuck is happening?

A big section of our audience. Heath's dismissal of their very deep catalog in last week's show. My favorite, and we got these on every possible, like we got them on Facebook and on Twitter and on Patreon. Carry your pigeons. Yeah, so my favorite of the comments came from Jeff

on one of our Facebook pages. Jeff writes, the funny thing is, Heath, if you actually look at Chumbawamba's history, they're a weirdly interesting band with a 30-plus year career, most of which is utterly unlike tub-thumping. Hard, hard left, folks. The kind that makes Bernie Sanders look like Rush Limbaugh. Now, I should point out that when Jeff wrote that, Rush hadn't died yet. Or actually, I guess he had died,

but we didn't know. The news hadn't been made public yet. Also, I don't want anyone making Bernie Sanders look like Rush Limbaugh. He's not going to do that. That's a weird thing to do.

I get the point he's trying to make, but that's just a bad image. So, Heath, A, have you had a chance to listen to some of their other stuff?

And B, has your opinion of Chumbawamba changed? Okay, so, I checked had a chance to listen to some of their other stuff? And B, has your opinion of Chumbawamba changed? Okay, so I checked out a few more songs in that very deep catalog. And here's what I have to report back. Every song sounds like a white rapper, a trumpet player, and a siren from the Iliad all got in a fight. And they get the mic for their little section, and then they have to give it up and then the next person goes and then the next person now it's trumpet time and then back so um i i like it honestly like if i'm completely honest i actually listen when i say

i check back a bunch of their deep catalog i looked i listened to what was the name of it uh top of the world ole ole ole and it was i really liked that song it's got it's got a video of people playing pickup soccer games all over it's it's it's a fun song it's good i like chumbawamba now more yeah no i i'd love to say i also listened to a few of their other tunes but it's more accurate to say i listened to a few of their other notes and that was that was we also got a message from beth who wanted to set us straight on her slanderous criticism of Fruitcake. On a different show months ago.

But Eli has been begging to include this in a goddamn feedback segment ever since, regardless of what show it's on. So yeah, here we go. Here's 10 minutes on Fruitcake. I stand by my decision. This is the best email we've ever gotten. She starts off by saying some very nice stuff about the show and us, but she shows

us what's what, beginning here. Quote, I wanted to write in after hearing your truly slanderous comments regarding fruit cake in the episode about mistletoe and menorahs. I make fruit cake the proper way, aged in plenty of alcohol. Oh, okay. I'm listening. Using dried fruit and not gumdrops. Oh, that's listening.

Based on my experience... This apple pie is great, but do you have a desiccator? I want it drier. I like my fruits dry. Is that possible? Based on my experience, I assure you,

many people, particularly those old enough to remember real fruitcake, are starved for good fruitcake. The same way that people from a small town in the Midwest are starved for a good bagel. Good fruitcake is moist, dense, alcoholic, and

extremely rich. It's also quite pricey. The stuff you buy in stores is to real fruitcake like supermarket bagels are to the real thing. Don't try to rope in bagels to your argument. Fuck you. Absolutely not.

I could speculate about why Americans despise fruitcake, but I really can't be sure. I suspect it's a combination of prohibition, which disrupted most culinary traditions calling for liquor, and mass production. But it's hard to say. All I can say for sure

is that when I've brought fruitcake to a party, people old enough to have eaten the real stuff descend on it immediately as though they haven't had a good fruitcake in decades. Because usually they haven't. People who think Werther's and black licorice are candy like these, way to sell your shitty thing, lady. Come on. Exactly. I just want to be clear on what just happened in the argument She said When I go to parties All the senior citizens at those parties love it

They just like stuff you don't need to tooth much Right? Well she concludes about how the movie still doesn't make sense Because proper fruitcake is too expensive To sell at a Christmas stall But Beth as you can see Noah and Heath are skeptical And Noah is your only target audience

By age, reaching his 45th birthday In a week or so So it's obvious you need to send us some real fruitcake And get the apology from these two That you justly deserve And get us an invite to some of these Very age spread out Fruitcake parties

Like I'm interested to see what that looks like Either way I'll eat some fruitcake And speaking of people who send us stuff, we want to thank all of you who send us stuff to our P.O. Box, especially people who send us not fruitcake. That's P.O. Box 263 in Belleville, New Jersey.

0 7 1 0 9. We might not read all your letters and cards on the air, but we do read all of them and we are very grateful. Yes. Special shout out to the D&D minus listeners who purchased us the Christian D&D alternative. Yes. Dragon Raid. Yes. Special shout out to the D&D Minus listeners who purchased us the Christian D&D Alternative Dragon Raid. Fantastic. I am in the process of learning

and bonus content will be with you just as soon as I can inflict it on Noah, Heath, Anna, and Morgan. Awesome. And that's all the feedback you get. If you want more, keep sending your questions and comments to at PIATpod on Twitter. Before we slurp up the leftover milk tonight, I want to remind you that if you can't get enough me in your life,

you can get some bonus me on the latest episode of the Secular Soup podcast. I had a really wide-ranging discussion. Reed, I couldn't stay on topic. And it was a lot of fun. If you'd like to check that out, for a link on the show notes. Anyway, that's all the blast movie we've got for you tonight,

but we're back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show, The Skeptocrat, debuting on Saturday and Eastern on Monday, an even new episode of our sister show's hot friend, God of the Movies, debuting on Saturday and Eastern on Tuesday,

and an even new episode of our half-sister show, Citation Needed, debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, this wouldn't be a balanced breakfast if I neglected to thank Keith Enright for baking his wisdom right into the script. I want to thank the lovely and talented Lucinda Lusions for never waffling at her commitment to the

audience. I want to thank Eli Bosnick for his excellent sense of humor. I want to thank Don Ford, voice of Fantasy and Adventure, for a side of hash browns. I also need to thank John from the Mercury Theater Podcast for providing this week's Farnsworth quote. Haven't had a chance to check out his show yet, but it's linked in the show notes, so if you check it out, let me know how it is. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this

week's most benevolent beings, Willow Karras, Ashley Roenick, Lucas Lovekirft, Susie, Todd, Frank, and Max. Willow Karras and Ashley, who are so sharp they have to be careful not to cut atoms with their intellects. Roenick, Lucas Lovekirft, and Susie, who are so bright they make it look like Willow Karras and Ashley weren't careful enough. and Todd, Frank, and Max, whose ejaculations often have the same effect. Together, these ten tawdry trustees of truth tallied a toll for our titular trenchancy this week by giving us money. Not everybody has money, and that sucks.

If you'd like us to not be people without money, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingadeist, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingadeist.com. And if you'd like to help, but not in an us-having-money kind of way, you can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review, telling a friend about the show, and following at PIAtPod on Twitter. Legal services for this

podcast are provided by the Law Offices of P. Andrew Torres. Tim Robinson handles our social media, and our audio engineer is Morgan Clark, who also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, find all the contact info on the contact page at scanningadius.com. Oh, God. Don, if you don't get nominated for an Oscar for that one, it can only be because of racism. All right.

I know. I know. Right? This is what an Oscar for that one. It can only be because racism. All right. I know. I know. Right? This is what I do for you guys. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC. Copyright 2021. All rights reserved.