The Scathing Atheist - 428: Got Wood Edition

Episode Date: April 29, 2021

In this week’s episode, the church of bleach washes out, Ben Shapiro finally gets wood despite the medical risk to his wife, and Don Ford will be here to weird up his resume some more. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Headlines: Survey reveals how useless churches are in reigning in their own vaccine misinformation: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/04/26/can-church-attendance-impact-vaccination-rates-its-complicated/ CT House passes bill removing religious exemptions to school vaccine requirements: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/04/21/connecticut-house-passes-bill-removing-religious-exemptions-to-school-vaccines/ Anti-mask flat earther says government kidnapped him; court says "that's absurd": https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/04/23/anti-mask-flat-earther-says-government-kidnapped-him-courts-say-thats-absurd/ Bleach church indicted: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/04/24/grand-jury-indicts-bleach-church-family-over-their-covid-miracle-cure/ Ted Nugent has COVID: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/ted-nugent-who-once-dismissed-covid-19-tells-fans-he-n1264648 FRC accidentally compiles a list of good things that Biden did in his first 100 days: https://www.frc.org/get.cfm?i=PR21D05 Kent Hovind tries to sue the government for him not paying taxes, and it’s just delightful: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/04/22/a-creationists-536041100-lawsuit-is-getting-laughed-out-of-the-courtroom/ Black boycott Home Depot; Ben Shapiro gets wood; Matt Schlapp boycotts drinking cum:  https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/04/22/black-pastors-urge-home-depot-boycott-after-its-silence-on-georgias-voting-laws/ https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2021/04/right-wing-own-libs-accidental-boycott-semen-ben-shapiro-piece-of-wood.html --- This Week in Misogyny: Dave Daubenmire: A Woman's Got No Business Being a Cop: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/04/16/right-wing-activist-dave-daubenmire-a-womans-got-no-business-being-a-cop/ Study: Women that belong to church that exclude female leadership have worse health: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/04/20/study-women-who-attend-churches-theyre-not-allowed-to-lead-have-poorer-health/

Warning, this podcast is about religion and politics, so either it can have naughty words in it, or we can fucking lie. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by Blue Chew, Adam and Eve, and by microphones, which have to be plugged in to work. That's something that you probably already know intuitively, and you don't even podcast for a living. And that puts you one step ahead of Eli, who talked into one microphone and plugged in a different one this week. So sorry in advance about Eli's audio quality. And now, with that glowing endorsement of this week's episode ringing in your ears, the scathing atheist. It's Thursday. It's April 29th.

And it's Casey's 30th birthday week. and it's Casey's 30th shmur shmur birthday week. On this week's episode, we'll wish Casey a happy 30th shmur shmur birthday, we'll reveal that his favorite insult in middle school was to call someone an amateur, and we'll reminisce about the time that I used to pray for his poor, poor soul. But first, the rest of the Farnsworth quote. We did in fact evolve from filthy monkey men. Happy birthday, Casey! It's Thursday.

It's April 29th. And it's We Jump the World Day. All right, we get it from the front. Australia, you knife it in the back. I'm pretty sure that's not what that means. I'm Noah Lusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heath Enright.

And from Trump Taj Mahal's New Jersey, Cincinnati Red State, and Redtown Blue State, this is the Skating Atheist. On this week's episode, the Church of Bleach washes out. Ben Shapiro finally gets wood, despite the medical risk to his wife.

And Don Ford will be here to weird up his resume some more. But first, the diatribe. If you've ever played a video game, you have probably played a game that was designed by, or at least produced by,igeru miyamoto he is quite simply the greatest and most influential video game designer who ever lived now to some degree he's been mythologized over the decades and his name is now like tangentially attached

to a lot of games he hardly had anything to do with but basically anything his bosses at nintendo think has legs gets his name on it now but he earned his way to that mythical status with games like Donkey Kong Super Mario Brothers and the Legend of Zelda also Donkey Kong Jr Popeye Mario Brothers Excitebike Duck Hunt Hogan's Alice just like so many great games but anyway so in 1984 just as he's coming into his own as a game designer he's tasked with taking on the flagging genre of maze games. Specifically, Nintendo wants their own take on the perennially popular Pac-Man. So, he works his magic on the concept and comes up with a truly

original game. Its core mechanic is still, like, you know, maze full of shit you have to eat, but the maze is larger than the screen, so you have to scroll around a little bit. There's these big rolling obstacles that cut off portions of it here and there, and you need certain power-ups to do basic shit. But despite the unrivaled success of Miyamoto's games and the fact that the game was super fucking fun, it was never released in the United States.

Even at the height of the Nintendo Entertainment System's popularity, when 30% of American households had one and you could sell 100,000 copies of a 7-Up ad if you called it a Nintendo game, they sat on a game from their very best designer that was already formatted for the medium. So why keep this masterpiece unreleased? Well, it's called Devil's World, and that would already be a problem, but in the game, you play this cutesy little dragon who's literally fighting Satan in hell,

and the power-ups you pick up along the way are little bibles and crucifixes and as soon as nintendo of america's americans saw it they were like dude you gotta be fucking kidding me and it was buried a thousand feet in the earth below concrete because the last thing a burgeoning company could afford to do in the 1980s was piss off christians right they'd shut you down quicker than anything and And when I say shut you down, I'm talking 80s version of shut you down. I'm talking pre-internet. If you want to buy

something, you need to find a store that sells it levels of shutdown. In the town I lived in, if you were curious about neo-paganism, for example, you were just shit out of luck. There was nothing about it in the library. Not only did the bookstores refuse to sell it, they wouldn't even order it for you if you asked. And none of the video stores would rent documentaries about it or anything like that and

all of those owners of those establishments they weren't all christian zealots they just knew better than to piss off the christian zealots right because those motherfuckers would boycott your business they'd lean on elected officials to revoke your business license lean on your landlord harass your customers whatever they had to do to enforce their standards of acceptability now we fast forward 40 years and the internet has largely taken that away from them the most fascist regime in the world couldn't lock down information as effectively as the churches in waycross georgia could back in 1990 if the local stores won't sell it that you just order it online what's more they blew their wad bitching about rock lyrics and teletubbies and not even the public relations firms give a

shit anymore about their boycotts. And now that they've been rendered impotent from that mode of enforcement, of course, they've declared it to be the height of injustice and call it cancel culture. But you motherfuckers invented cancel culture. Hell, you'd gotten so

goddamn good at it that Nintendo pre-canceled its best designer, as did virtually every other company in the goddamn country. Right? But you abused your power. And now when Million Moms complains about the H-E double hockey sticks in a Burger King ad, the shareholders pat the advertiser on the back.

Right? Because being condemned by Christians is a badge of honor if you're trying to sell shit to anybody under the age of 50. Of course, the method was never bad it was just that the target was bad and now the very people that they were trying to shut up have picked up the weapon that they themselves forged and we're slowly learning how to wield it i mean we're not pointing it at the lgbtq community of course we're handing it to the lgbtq community we're handing it back to the very groups that

have been marginalized by it for all these years and the more effective we get at it the more willing they are to pretend that the very concept is egregious but don't let it fool you for a second the instant that pendulum swings the other way they would seize the power back and cancel any cartoon with a fucking wizard in it they've've never been against cancel culture. They're just against the good guys being so damn much better at it than them. They're talking about you, Jesus. We interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are the incisors and molars to my bicuspids, Heath Enright and Eli Bosnick.

Fellas, are you ready to offer up some biting commentary? I don't know. No, I'll shoo it over. Okay. Puns. We're doing puns. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. Okay.

All right. All right. I don't get it. Bridge is a dental thing. It was better than your chew thing. Related to your chew thing. Less obvious anyway. Yeah.

In our lead story tonight, the good news is that the U.S. is fast approaching a time when every American adult who wants a vaccine has gotten one. The bad news is what a dishearteningly small percent of Americans that fucking number represents. No. Yeah. According to the latest survey data, as many as one in five people in this country say they won't take the vaccine and an even higher percentage expressed hesitancy about it. And sure, that number is falling, but it isn't falling fast or far enough. So public health experts are exploring multiple ways of helping overcome vaccine hesitancy.

And thanks to a recent survey, we've learned that this is yet another area of social concern where churches are, at best, useless. Great. All right. Adding getting people who are already gathered in a group to do an actual thing to the list of shit churches can't do. Man, this list is long. That's so easy. What would you say you do here? Yeah. God damn it.

Exactly. So the survey in question was conducted by a student advocacy group called the Interfaith Youth Corps. But they did that in conjunction with the Public Religion Research Institute, a group whose goal isn't to make sure atheists always have plenty of data to back up their arguments about how terrible we are. But you'd never know what to look at. That's kind of what they did. Yeah. So they surveyed 5000 American adults and asked the vaccine hesitant whether certain faith based approaches would alleviate some of their concerns. And the answer seems to be not in any appreciable way. seems to be not in any appreciable way now on the one hand as many as 70 percent of vaccine hesitant respondents said that they would turn to a religious leader for information about the

vaccine but when those very same people were asked if they believed that religious leader if they said that the vaccine was safe only about five percent said yes so in other words they take advice from a religious leader so long as that religious leader told them what they already think see now that's a church sign i want to see okay so that's obviously stupid and not at all surprising but it's those five percent that i'm actually curious about so they have an opinion about vaccine science and they'd look for more information from a priest. And they'd change their opinion based on priestly epidemiology expertise. Yes, I guess. Wherever you fall on that line is pretty fucking weird. Good point.

Now, the survey did find that people who regularly attend a religious service actually are more likely to get vaccinated than people who don't, provided they're not white or Christian. Right. Jews and black Protestants do everybody else, like literally every other religious demographic that they tested. Regular church attendance meant the respondent was less likely to get vaccinated, which is fucking great. Equal parts not vaccinated and regularly sitting in crowded enclosed spaces with other unvaccinated people. regularly sitting in crowded enclosed spaces with other unvaccinated people. The survey also found, and I feel like the audience could just say it along with me at this point, that the religious demographic least likely to get vaccinated were white evangelical Protestants. I got it.

Yeah, exactly. Also known, by the way, as evangelical Protestants. That's what it means anyway. Okay. At this point in the podcast, I feel bad that we haven't carved out something for evangelical Protestants to win at. Maybe we do a survey on who has the most mayonnaise-based salads at their cookouts just to let them win one. Well, you know what? They're winning a few things. You got popcorn mayo salad, which is apparently a real thing.

They got pleated denim. They're winning at that. Okay, fair. Mass shootings. There you go. That's usually them. There you go winning at that okay fair mass shootings there you go there you go so congrats guys there you go right sedition three so so yeah once again we find that religion excels at creating the problem and they're essentially useless in fixing it it's also a reminder that these self-anointed moral bastions of selflessness are the most selfish least moral people in america at least according to numbers and science.

And it's also an important reminder that people don't go to churches to learn anything. They go to have what they already think reinforce the overwhelming majority. At least in this instance, we're unable to even imagine a scenario where their mind would be changed by their religious leader or anyone else for that matter. That's their guy who talks to God. Yeah, exactly. Also, popcorn mayo salad. That's a goddamn nightmare. I saw a video of this

delightful woman making it and I was like, she seems nice. Oh my God, that's terrifying. This is a real thing they eat. Jesus. Girl Meets Farm. she's a delight gross have jewish and in yes we connecticut news it's genuinely hard to enumerate the ways in which religion damages children at worst it's physically psychologically and sexually abusive but at best it tells kids that there's a point at which we should stop looking for answers it instills in

them an underlying limit to curiosity and wonder and replaces it with lies and deepities. But there's perhaps no more deadly a harm religion does to children than the laws in this country that allow for religious exemptions to vaccines. Yeah. I mean, I'd say the centuries of protected pedophiles as like the first worst thing, including right now. And then maybe the vaccine thing. OK, this is a weird note. I hear myself say it's like a weird note to be giving them. But let's be clear.

If negligent homicide is not the worst problem about your thing, things should not be legal yeah well the good news is that connecticut new york's classy older sister is aiming to get rid of those exemptions and pass the first hurdle by passing a bill in the house which does just that the bill is now headed to the democratically controlled state senate and the hopes are that it will pass there as well yeah so to make sure nobody gets too excited that'll make them the sixth state with no religious or personal belief exemptions. If your kid goes to school anywhere but California, Maine, Mississippi, New York or West Virginia, they're at the mercy of Karen's Internet research at Holy Sovereign Freedom Eagles dot net. What's that? Six out of 50. That's herd immunity, right? Fingers crossed. And it's worth noting here that there are very few religions that actually prohibit vaccination. Christian scientists are the one that come to mind. But a bunch of the folks who declare religious exemption for their kids are just stupid assholes who check the box that says religion when they're looking for an excuse because there's literally nothing some Americans won't excuse in the name of religion.

And this is by no means harmless. Exceptions to vaccination have brought back new waves of diseases like mumps and fucking measles in recent years. And, as will surprise nobody, there are major concerns about herd immunity if we don't immunize kids against COVID-19 when the shot becomes available for them. Like, for fuck's sake, people, I'm sick of them remaking shit I like. Right? Like, are we going to do a fucking

gritty reboot of polio before this sinks in? Joaquin Phoenix would be amazing as polio. David Lynch doing a polio movie. Bottom line is, this is an excellent first step by Connecticut. I hope it makes it all the way through to law, but

just in case it doesn't, it's a great reminder that religion ruins everything, including herd immunity. Yeah, and the new theme of the Supreme Court is herd impunity for all the laws. It's going to be great. We're going to be great.

And in great spite North news, we have an amazing story out of Canada about how it's supposed to look when a ridiculous, ignorant typhoid Jerry refuses to follow basic public safety rules and actively spreads a plague. You're supposed to throw that guy in jail. It's,

it's so simple and elegant and that's exactly what happened in canada to flat earther and anti-masker activist mac parhar of british columbia he went to jail so in response to going to jail he went there for four days in response he filed a lawsuit against the bc government accusing them of kidnapping it's amazing we're gonna get to the details and the judge ruled mac parhar thank you for not wearing a mask it makes it much easier to fuck your face that's actually my ruling fuck your face how do these motherfuckers reconcile the idea of suing people for courts having authority. If a court finds that courts don't count, it wouldn't count.

What are you trying to do? It gets to that. It really does. I just like the kidnapping idea. Also, Your Honor, I jerked off in the prison bathroom, so they raped me as well. They also raped me. Okay, so here's the backstory on Parhar getting jailed. It starts with his business license getting suspended when he refused to follow COVID protocols at his hot yoga studio.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Yoga. Just to be clear. Yeah. That's a big group of people breathing heavily in a room full of steam. That's what that is and he told his clients that covid cannot survive the heat which okay it's true it can't survive certain heat well right yeah but that's also a ridiculous lie in that context yes you can kill some of the virus

with high temperatures but i'm guessing the yoga studio doesn't have like one person breathe at a time and then wait for three hours while the perfect convection oven temperature of 130 degrees Fahrenheit or something higher. Perhaps it circulates around that room perfectly killing all the COVID in that breath. And then the next person breathes. That's probably not how they do it. All right, sorry, I don't mean to undercut your joke, dude, but honestly, as a person who's been to an embarrassingly large number of yoga classes, that wouldn't be the weirdest breathing system

I'd encounter. Taking turns every three hours. Exactly. Okay, but how fucking great would it be if that turns out to be true, right? Just Anthony Fauci coming out in the next 440-degree briefing in a mankini glistening with sweat. He's just like, fuck you guys.

Hand out. You don't want to wear masks. I'm on board with that. So that was all ridiculous and illegal, but he never got arrested for any of that stuff. He didn't get arrested until october of last year when he flew to a flat earther convention in south carolina the total distance that flight didn't make any sense to him but that's a different story he's a flat earther it's hard to it's a curve so he comes back to canada and refuses to fill out the

quarantine paperwork at the border because he's quote quote, not a person under the law. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, he's one of those. According to Parhar, his social insurance number, that's the social security number in Canada, the social security number has to follow laws, but he's a natural person, which is a different thing with no laws, I guess.

Well, the Canadian government arrested his social insurance number and they weren't able to detach the human body connected to it. So he his body, the natural person also went to jail for four days. OK, so normally I'm not a fan of police brutality, but hear me out. Hear me out. Maybe when he know when he said I'm not a fan of police brutality, but hear me out. Hear me out. Maybe. No, when he said, I'm not a person under the law, the temptation just smacked the shit out of him

and go, good, that would have been illegal if you were. That must have been overwhelming. Okay, but imagine getting off an airplane, a metal tube that flew through the air at hundreds of miles an hour and then thinking, I'm going to fool the system because my name is written in lowercase letters.

You're joking, but it's going to be in just a second. Here's what the lawsuit looks like. First of all, Parhar crossed out his name on all the forms and wrote lowercase i colon lowercase m a n i man colon again mac of the parhar family jesus christ

i'm man mac of the parhar family he attached a liability notice to the lawsuit that said the rules of civil procedure do not apply to man or woman or we the people. And they don't apply to par our court. Okay. That's right there. The one simple trick means you're not in a government court anymore. And that courtroom becomes your own personal sailboat with maritime law. And you get to put all the court people into court on trial

you become the judge but here's the best part it looks like judge murray block the real judge of the real court uh also crossed out his name and wrote lowercase i double man murray house of murray so the judge turned that sailboat thing into a second sailboat and he declared canadian law again so we're back to canadian law triple stamp to double stamp triple stamp double stamp yeah you can do that it turns out and well in canada yeah it's different it's metric so his ruling it was just delightfully canadian he explained, quote, I am not without sympathy for the plaintiff. Really? He spent four days in jail,

and it appears this occurred because someone convinced him, or he convinced himself, that law does not apply to him. It was a hard way to learn that laws do not work on an opt-in basis. End quote. That's weird because this is

exactly the kind of person I am without sympathy for. Yeah, right? Has this judge heard of other people? There are other people who bad things happen to. They didn't do it. It even ends happily. Here's the final result. Parhar, again, sued the entire government for

kidnapping and he got rewarded negative $750 for his trouble because you get fined for wasting everyone's time and canada is the fucking best yeah and then once more onto the bleach my friends news tonight fantastic thank you we have another follow-up on the book in chapter four of crisis and outbreak of faith how religion ruined our global pandemic we talked about the florida-based genesis 2 church of and Healing, also known as the G2C. They're a family who wanted you to eat bleach therapeutically, but they're not allowed to say that unless they're a church. Turns out they're also not allowed to say that as a church.

But yeah, they were recommending bleach to cure COVID even before it was cool. Great. Now, Noah, these people drinking bleach was always cool. These people are the dangerous part of the Tide Pod show. Yeah, right. People eating Tide Pods

were like, that's fucking stupid right there. Just read the warning label. No bleach. So the products they were hawking, they're called Miracle Mineral Solution or Master Mineral Solution.

And we've talked about it on the show before. Several different dangerously evil groups have tried to sell this shit as a cure for autism. But since it's just as good at curing all the other afflictions as it is at curing autism, a lot of folks branched out and now sell it as a panacea. Or at least they try to because selling people industrial bleach and calling it medicine is technically illegal. because selling people industrial bleach and calling it medicine is technically illegal. Yeah, and if you want to bum yourself out, do some research into how long it took our country to settle on that answer. Yeah, right. Jesus.

Okay, so now Mark Glennon, the group's leader, was pretty sure he'd found a clever workaround to all the laws that exist, kind of a theme in our stories this week. Heard impunity. Yeah, right. And that was the word church. Quote, everything you do commercially is under the universal commercial code okay a church is completely separate from

that codes statutes and laws can i stop him and not be okay nope that's why a priest can give a kid wine in church probably and not get arrested why because it's not under any law you can't arrest us for doing our sacraments and obviously we can't tell priests to stop giving out glasses of bleach to kids that would be dumb it's fucking basic freedoms that's ridiculous also they sell mms online his argument breaks down even if feeding bleach to kids was a good idea. Still a bad argument. Still, you gotta admire a guy who

looks at how religious exemption to the law crumbles under the slightest scrutiny and sees a business opportunity. He's like, wait a second. I don't think I have to admire that. It turns out there are still laws, sacraments or no. Last July, when government officials raided his church they confiscated 22 gallons of miracle mineral

solution along with several tons of sodium chloride and 50 gallons of muriatic acid that's a normal thing to have at a church that's a reasonable thing for anybody to have stockpiled any state but florida that would have been the closest to bad guy in a comic book raid that they had ever executed as police. Now, at the time, Glennon and his son slash accomplices were charged with conspiracy to defraud conspiracy to violate the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic

Act and criminal contempt. Cosmetic Act? Yeah, that's like alcohol, tobacco, and firearms. Did a bunny in a shocking shade of red lipstick kick down the door it turns to his foods and his drug partners yeah exactly so now all of that got even worse for him last week when a grand jury indictment bulked up those charges with bonus counts of contempt and conspiracy to commit fraud up to and including allegedly threatening the

fucking judge presiding over the case okay so apparently they told the judge trying their goddamn case that if he forced them to stop selling medicinal bleach they would arm up and instigate in their words a waco what well yeah i don't know if that's a threat because like waco ended with them all burning to death while suffocating on tear gas. I'm not sure what they're threatening exactly. The judge is just like, yeah, cool. Do your fucking thing, guys. But the grand jury felt like that was

plenty enough to warrant another contempt charge. So yeah, for the eighth time in American history, a law applied to a church and that, friends, is worth celebrating. And in a noosh in the right direction. Noosh.

One of the hardest decisions we've had to make. Noosh rhymes with noosh. You were waiting for us to laugh. I get it. Sure. I was pausing for your... Bonmo. Go ahead, Eli. Thank you. One of the hardest decisions we've had to make here at the Scathing Atheist since the outbreak of COVID is how often do we mock assholes when they get a disease they pretend doesn't exist.

Do we, as I suggested, introduce a weekly segment called Here's Hoping You Die? Or more tastefully, as suggested by our lawyer, Andrew, do we save up our jubilation for a really good one? Well, whatever the answer, we got a really good one as country music sensation, anti-masker, and second worst human being named Ted, Ted Nugent, got covered this week, and I am loving you! I want to be super clear

to Ted Cruz and to Ted Nugent that we're counting Bundy. He just doesn't make the list. That's what he's saying. Third or bottom or further down. Here's the backstory. In the early 1980s, racists got mad that their spinoff of folk music, which had always been progressive, country music, was

also starting to get progressive. They created this thing called Stadium Country and they hired these no-talent artists and they studio produced the album every couple of months. A little less backstory. Okay, y they studio-produced the album. So every couple of months. So a little less backstory. Oh, okay, yeah. Yada, yada, yada.

Yeah, Ted Nugent exists. And he spent most of the pandemic denying its existence, saying on video at Christmas, quote, it's not a real pandemic, and that's not a real vaccine. I'm sorry. I ain't taking no vaccine. You come at me with a needle, and I'll be in fear of my life. You know what I'll do if you come at me with a needle. Hi, I'm from. I ain't taking no vaccine. You come at me with a needle and I'll be in fear of my life. You know what I'll do if you come at me with a needle. Hi, I'm from the government. This needle's

good for you. Fuck you. Okay, so when the government vaccine commando shows up with a needle for Ted Nugent, Ted Nugent is gonna perform a skit as both characters, himself and the commando?

Yes, he is. Use him? I mean, 50-50, yeah. Yeah. This guy's just standing there with the needle. I don't know. Are you me now? Is that what I said?

Yes, and am I in this? I don't know. Stab you. You're under arrest. Yeah, so vaccination policy that matches my toddler's aside this week took to facebook to tell everyone how sick he was with the disease that the fuck you needle would have prevented him from getting saying quote i got a stuffed up head body aches oh my god what a pain in the ass i literally can't crawl out of bed the last few days, but I did. I crawled.

End quote. Huh. You know what? Maybe it's just cat scratch fever. Yeah, I think it's fine. It's a real thing. It's a Ted Nugent song. Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, fuck everybody. Anyway, despite the fact that Herman Cain and

Terrible Pain are amazing rhymes, our lawyer informs us we do not have a song to sing, and we wish Mr. Nugent a speedy recovery. Here's hoping he finds Gatorade less threatening than a vaccine. I don't think we have to wish for it to be speedy, necessarily. We absolutely do not. So while Ted Nugent crawls about in delectable agony, we're going to pause for a word from this week's first sponsor,

Blue Chew. Don't just chew it, all right, okay? Just hold still. Hey, guys, are you trying to shoot a Nintendo Switch game down Noah's throat again? Because I've told you they're not going to rename Mario after us if we sue them. Okay, okay, okay. One, you don't know that. You're not a lawyer.

And two, no, he's just helping me take my ED meds. Exactly. Your ED meds? Yeah, but I have trouble swallowing pills, so pill slingshot. Slingshot, right. Why don't you just try Blue Chew? What's Blue Chew? Blue Chew is a unique online service that delivers the same

active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis, but in chewable form and at a fraction of the cost. Chewable ED meds? Get out of here. It's true. As many as 40% of Americans report having trouble taking pills. And too often, that means people skip medicine that can really help them.

So do I have to go to some kind of chewable doctor's office? No. Blue Chew is an online prescription service. So no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. Plus, it ships right to your door in a discreet package. Also, Blue Chew's tablets are made in the USA, and they prepare and ship direct. So it's cheaper than a pharmacy.

Wow, that does sound good. And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Try Blue Chew free when you use our promo code SCATING at checkout. Just pay $5 in shipping. That's bluechew.com, promo code SCATING at checkout. Just pay $5 in shipping. That's Bluetooth.com, promo code SCATING to receive your first month free. And we thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast. Alright, Eli, I'm in.

Now, Heath, let's do the Mario Kart 8 instead. Guys, they're not going to change the name. You don't know. I think they might. A man wrote the Bible. A whore is what she was. If it's a legitimate race. If it's a slut, right? Cooking can be fun. Hey! I'm proud of a man. This Week in Misogyny.

Leave it to Christianity to get it right for the wrong reasons. First of all, I really missed you two. And secondly, sorry for being away through such misogynistic weeks. I've had a bunch of stories stacking up here, and there are a couple I've got to get to. Starting with Dave Dobermeyer's take on the killing of Daunte Wright. Now, generally speaking, when a police officer guns down an innocent black man, the pundits on the Christian right line up in defense of the cops. But this time was a little different.

Far fewer of the usual suspects came to the cops' defense, and Pat Robertson even ripped apart her bullshit I thought it was a taser excuse on his show. But of course, leave it to Dave Dobernmayer to say the quiet part out loud. The reason they aren't coming to Officer Kim Potter's defense isn't because she's guiltier than those other cops, and it isn't because the evidence is stronger. Hell, we're talking about people who were defending Derek Chauvin after the trial. The real reason is that she's a woman. And women don't have any place being cops and telling men what to do anyway. As Dobinmeier says, quote,

A woman's got no business being a cop. How did we ever get to the point where we think that it's normal for a woman to do that? Why? Because that's perverted. Adding, quote, Men and women aren't equal. Well, we think that it's normal for a woman to do that. Why? Because that's perverted. Adding, quote, men and women aren't equal. Why have we bought that lie? Why do we promote that lie? Why do you say, well, women deserve equal rights?

Now, listen, I'm just telling you, a man can cook, but it's a woman's job. Sorry. And no, he's not really sorry. Now, I see what's going on here. Dave Dobenmayyer figures that with Rush Limbaugh rotting in a coffin somewhere that I'm going to be replacing his voice in the Twim intro, and Dave's auditioning for that part. But joke's on you, Dave. The fact that my misogyny intro contains the echoes of a dead man from the past

is exactly the kind of symbolism I was hoping for. And look, I know we talk about specific instances of misogyny a lot on this segment, but sometimes it's important to zoom out and remind ourselves the consequences to flippant statements like Dave's. I saw a really interesting study last week out of the journal American Sociological Review that actually quantified that a bit. It showed that women who belong to churches that promote traditional gender roles actually have significantly worse health than women who belong to more inclusive congregations. So to be clear, there are health benefits to going to church. People who go to church regularly tend to be healthier and live longer. Of course, these benefits are indistinguishable from the ones that you get from being a part of any group at all that regularly gets together and mutually supports its members.

But it turns out that for women who go to churches that don't allow women in leadership, those benefits disappear. And this was granular too. The more sexist the church, the lower the health benefits. It should surprise nobody, of course. The very thing providing the health benefit is being included in the group. So the less included you are, the less of it you get. It's also a handy piece of evidence that that health benefit has fuck all to do with God's love if you ever find yourself needing one of those too. And while you jot that one down in your memory banks,

I'll bid you a fond farewell until next time and hand things back over to Noah, Heath, and Eli. And in Family Freakout Council news, they say you can tell the measure of a man not by his friends, but by his enemies. In my case, that's zipliners. But in the case of President Joe Biden, it's Christian bigot organizations

who accidentally released a report on how fantastic a job he's doing by pissing them off this week. Okay, just circling back, I still don't get the ziplining thing. It's a passive sport based entirely on gravity. That's like right in your wheelhouse. Weird.

Yes, in a press release, pretty much only read by the people on this podcast, and appropriately titled, In First 100 Days, President Biden Has Taken a Record Number actions against life, family, and religious freedom tracked by FRC. Sick. The Family Research Council laid out its mighty list of just how much of Trump's bizarre anti-choice, anti-gay, and trying-to-make-laws-about-your-imaginary-friend agenda Biden has already reversed in the whining tones of a nine-year-old explaining why they can't in fact dunk a basketball right now like guys you're a fucking hate group you are right like when you're a literal sblc listed hate group you just like just endorse the people you don't like yeah that'll do it right yeah so let's hit a few highlights from this release here first after bemoaning all the abortions biden has given U.S.

dollars to. The real number is zero, by the way, zero dollars. Yeah. After that, the FRC spends a full three paragraphs ranting about trans people because they lost the gay marriage fight. And now picking on nine-year-old trans kids who want to play softball is the play. Quote, he bowed to powerful interests who insist that girls can be boys and boys can be girls. He has even ordered schools to abolish girls' sports and force boys and girls to use the same

showers and locker rooms. By spending millions of defense dollars on gender reassignment surgeries, he is using the military to force moral and cultural change on society okay quote obviously that's all insane but if they're already assuming that's what's happening it seems like we should definitely use the military to force moral and cultural change

on society right like this is the lost opportunity totally do that if they're gonna accuse us of it anyway yeah also i'm sorry but like what powerful interests are behind transness what does big trans even sell yeah it's unclear food buckets competition so look i'm not saying biden administration's done a perfect job but to be fair we spent four years telling you to vote for him. And if pissing off Tony Perkins isn't an excellent indicator you made the right choice, then my friends, I don't know what is. Amen. And in paroled man on the land news tonight, Ken Hovind's miserable existence is just a perpetual fucking delight. I know that some people say you shouldn't find your joy in the misery of others.

And honestly, I feel like if you explain Kent Hovind to them, they might see the error in their ways. Wait, wait, wait. Kent Hovind. Is he Matt Powell heavy? Yeah. Exactly. Kent Hovind. He's like three parts Ken Ham, one part Alex Jones. He's a sovereign citizen creationist who spent a decade in jail

and got his dinosaurs and man coexisted theme park seized to pay back taxes. And now he's apparently trying to sue the government for subjecting him to laws. Needless to say, that's not going much better than everything else he's ever done in his life. He just hands him the keys to his creationism park you're me now i'm the government you're silly i send you to jail yeah so yeah the lawsuit is fucking hilarious he's he's suing the government the the judge in his previous cases the attorney that prosecuted him the irs agent who worked the case and his own fucking lawyer for violating his what first fourth fifth sixth ninth tenth thirteenth and fourteenth amendment rights really

yes and for making him pay taxes even though he spells his name in all lowercase letters i mean at certain points the lawsuit reads like our ex is just drunk dialing us at 2 a.m. Quote, CSE leader speaker Hovind was generally invited to speak at approximately 30 churches worldwide weekly on the average in 2006. But in 2020, it is zero. a notice of divorce forced removal by his own son with the aid of police to get off the once cse ministry land ending with close to full separation from all his family members end quote that's right yeah he's suing the government and the irs for his kids not returning his calls be escorted out of a tgi friday i thought thought it was a Buffalo Wild Wings, so I called the waitress. I'm really sure TGIF's in the First Amendment or something like that. So, okay,

he's obviously wrong about that whole suit. And I think I get what he might be trying to claim with most of those amendment violations. It's all stupid, but I probably understand where he's trying to go, but the Ninth Amendment? Yeah, right. That just says the rights enumerated in the constitution

don't block other rights so apparently he thinks my kids not hating me is okay to be fair there's a good argument to be made that being kent hovind violates the eighth amendment right like that is cruel and unusual all right so but the punchline to this lawsuit is of course the amount for ruining his life hobein is seeking 536 million of 41,100 dollars that's right yeah baby ken hobein thinks that his life was, at some point, worth half a billion dollars in change. And he has an itemized bill for it, right? It literally has the $30,600 that he spent on commissary stuff while he was in jail. That's a lot of rum.

Unfortunately for Hovind, the judge in this case determined that his life was already pre-ruined when the government got it and none of his bullshit is even what courts do the case was dismissed last week but i have no doubt that hovine still has another level of self-imposed humiliation to sink to and we promise to revel in it with you soon and finally tonight we have a a story about Christians getting something right. Well, it's a relatively small group. Two weeks in a row. And the group doesn't have any white people.

There's no white Christians in it. So they kind of cheated the system by leaving out a very problematic element from their overall group. But they're doing something good. So they're getting a hat tip for leaving out white people and for the other good thing they did. I'm talking about a group of progressive black pastors in Georgia who decided to use their power to fight against the voter suppression bill that recently passed. And part of that fight is putting pressure on corporations. In particular, the pastors are targeting the conglomerate of revived corpses of locally owned hardware stores and lumber yards called Home Depot. Because Home Depot's stance so far is to have no stance.

And having no stance on bigotry is actually a stance. It's called the bigotry stance. But just when Christians are doing something potentially noble in America, you can count on Republicans to ruin it or at least try their best to ruin it. And there's Ben Shapiro responding to the brat signal. He heard about Home Depot getting bullied, so he made a video of himself buying one single piece of wood for spite. one single piece of wood for spite he made a video for anti-anti-bigotry spite that's a thing he did for his job and from a guy whose wife told him wet vagina is a disease it's an impressive cell phone right it's the bonos baseball of cell phones like wow oh when i first saw the picture i was convinced that he was

pwning all the libs on Twitter that told him he couldn't get that. Even worse. Watching Ben Shapiro have extreme difficulty holding an ouchy piece of wood in his little baby hands with a plastic bag that he clearly requested from Home Depot

for his one piece of four foot length wood. That was amazing. Why don't they show the person who handed him the plastic bag? Unbelievable. Okay, I can't believe he got a plastic bag. But believe it or not, that was not my favorite part of the story

because Matt Schlapp got involved too. He's the director of cpac the conservative political action conference and by political action they mean a golden idol of donald trump a stage in the shape of a literal nazi rune and of course their director leading a boycott on cum drinking i will explain stay with me i will explain. Stay with me. I will explain that. In response to the condemnation of Georgia's voter suppression by Coca-Cola, Schlapp tweeted the following.

Quote, All cum products in the Schlapp house are consumed now, and we're really into H2O. It's healthier, and we won't fund woke cum. End quote. That's a real quote. I mean, say what you will about woke cum, but it's free. It is free.

Is it, though, Eli? Is it ever free? That's fair. Sometimes they want to sack with you afterwards. So here's what happened. Schlapp had a problem with autocorrect there it's my assumption anyway i hope i hope he was trying to say coke instead of cum i do but here's the thing if your smartphone notices a pattern in which coke needs to be replaced by

cum a lot we should be allowed to subpoena your entire text history. Like, America demands answers about that. Yeah, Matt, it's weird how often you send people videos of you drinking your own Coke. Of course it's yours. That's why you're drinking it. I don't understand. It's a shame, though, that Matt is on his side

because I would love to have seen the response video of Shapiro thwarting that boycott, right? Why is it in a shame, though, that Matt is on his side because I would love to have seen the response video of Shapiro thwarting that boycott. Why is it in a bag, Ben? Why is it in a bag? All right. Now that you've got the image of Ben Shapiro guzzling cum out of a bag in your head, I think we can wrap up the headlines. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Do Monji.

And when we come back, the Bible will start padding its character count. Dumonji. And when we come back, the Bible will start padding its character count. Hello and welcome to Sketchy Sex Shop at your local mini mall. How may I stare at you? Um, accusingly is what it looks like right now. Yes, I do this to everyone who walks in.

Right, right. So, some of your sex stuff, it looks kind of sketchy. It is. It very much is. Right, like. So some of your sex stuff, it looks kind of sketchy. It is. It very much is. Right. Like, is this dildo supposed to be glowing? It is uranium, so it will do that. Okay. And why is this lube right here spelled

L-O-O-B? Oh, fun fact. That's because of maritime law. Huh? It's a fun, yeah. That is a fun fact, actually. Yeah. Okay. So I'm just looking for safe sex toys from a company that I can trust not to be sketchy. Ah, so then you want adamandeve.com. Oh, what's adamandeve.com? They're the number one adult toy superstore. Originally part of a master's thesis, adamandeve.com was the first mail-order contraceptive business in the country. They're a sex and sex work positive, queer-friendly seller of fuck stuff that won't poison you.

Okay, well, I do like not being poisoned. Millennials. But even better, when you order from adamandeve.com and use our code SCATHING at checkout, you get 50% off almost any one item plus free fuck stuff. Ooh, what kind of free fuck stuff? A vibrator, a cock ring, and a lube sample. Lube as in L-U-B-E? L-U-B-E, yeah.

Fantastic. I am sold. What's that code again? That's scathing. S-C-A-T-H-I-N-G. Offer code scathing at checkout at adamandeve.com. Before you go, would you like some sketchy pills that say tiger on the package? Um, do they make you a tiger or they're made out of tiger? No.

Okay. I'm just not clear what putting the lime in the coconut does. Okay, you're not listening to the rest of the lyrics. It explains it. Guys, are you ready to do Bible Peace Theater? Oh, yeah. Where are we? 2 Samuel or not 2 Samuel? Yeah, we're on 2 Samuel.

Like Hamlet. Yeah, we got it. We got it. Yeah. So, quick reminder, Saul just died, right? He threw himself on his sword so that guys with uncircumcised dicks wouldn't kill him. And we're going to open up on David getting that news. King David, King David, I bring news. Yes. How goes Saul's battle with the Amalekites?

Oh, badly, sir. Pretty badly. I found him wounded in a field. You, young man, come here. Oh, wow. King Saul, you're hurt really bad, huh? Yeah, yeah, I know. I threw myself on my sword so that guys with uncircumcised dicks couldn't kill me, but I didn't die, as you can see, so would Okay. Would you stand on my back and help me die? Sorry, stand on your back?

Yes, quickly now, before they take me. Okay. Oh, golly gee, that's smart. How are you alive? Oh, the blade went through and missed all my organs, so I need you to... Really? Jump up and down. I mean, really get that sword in there.

Come on. Okay, okay. Oh, God, this is so gross. Ew! I can't. Can you just take poison or something? This is really gross. No, no, no, no, no.

There's no time. There's no time. Okay. God. God, it's just, it's so gross. Okay, there we go. Now I'm dead. Okay.

So, you murdered King Saul. What? No, no, no. I didn't murder him. He asked me to kill him. Hey, hey, you, over there. Kill this guy. Are you serious right now?

Oh my God. You guys are the worst. Yeah, that's what you get for killing King Saul. I hate y'all so much. You're the fucking worst. And now, I, King David, shall sing a lament to my dear friend Saul. Bows are so great. You gotta string them tight and shoot arrows with them. Aim your bow at the bad guys and then shoot them with arrows.

Excuse me, David? Yeah, I was in the middle of a song. What's up? Are you going to sing about Saul or just bows? Fine, fine. Okay, but everyone, everyone, go read the book of Jasher, okay? This song has a required reading list? Oh, Saul, you were so great. I loved you in the gay way we had gay sex. I just thought I'd take a second to clarify that here.

There's literally no other way to interpret this song than that we rubbed our butts together, which is what I assume gay guys do no no i don't i don't think that's what gay guys do i like your son more better though we did gay stuff too i'm literally going to say and i quote thy love to me was wonderful passing the love of women, end quote. By Mitch, I mean we were gay together, just like I was gay with your dad.

Oh, that was lovely, sir. Very nice. Really got a boss vibe from that. Right? I tried for it. Who's that? So now that Saul is dead, David heads to Judah to take his rightful place as king. The men of Judah make him their king, but the problem is that Abner,

who was Saul's captain, already made Saul's son Ish-bosheth king of Israel, which starts a feud between Abner and David's captain, Joab. Ah, nothing better than a relaxing dip in the pool, Gibion, isn't that right, soldier? Yes, Abner, sir.

Ah. Oh, sir, sir, look, it's Joab and his men. Oh, hey there, Abner. Taking a dip too? Indeed I am, Joab. That's nice, that's nice. Hey, you wouldn't be up for a little friendly play, would you? Ah, my heavens, I think I would, sir. All right, all right, excellent.

So I'm thinking 12 of my guys against 12 of your guys fight to the death, right? You had me at 12 of my guys. Sounds like fun. Okay, but fight to the death. Oh, well, of course. I was just here for a swim. And also, how is that friendly play? I mean, I said it sounds like fun.

Right? Fine. I have water wings on, guys. I know. I know. Do you want to stab each other at the same time? Yeah, I guess. Sounds good to me.

Okay, ready? One, two, three. Stab. Ow! Ow! I'm caught! Oh! Huh.

Okay. Uh, looks like it's a tie. Ah, it's weird that they went down three like that. Yeah, that was weird. I found that weird. Totally weird. So, uh, you want to just do a war? Yeah, you know what?

Let's do a normal war. Let's do that. Hail Abner. Hail King Ishbosheth, son of Saul. Hey, I don't want to make things weird or anything, but, uh, Hail Abner. Hail King Ishbosheth, son of Saul. Hey, I don't want to make things weird or anything, but, uh, did you fuck my concubine? Excuse me, what? My, uh, my concubine. Did you have sex with my concubine? What am I, a dog's head?

No, you're not a dog's head. Well, I've been nothing but loyal to to you and now you accuse me of this i'm switching over to david's side shame on you right uh got it sorry how does or doesn't that make you a dog's head uh it's an expression so i don't think that it is. I've never heard that expression. Okay, whatever. You guys are the worst. You treat me like a dog's head. Okay, okay, so dog's head is a bad thing. But it's not a whole dog. He's just a head. Just a head. It's an expression!

King David, it is I, Abner, and I am here to serve you. Nice. I have no idea who you are. That's cool. Thank you. I, uh, I'm the captain of Ish-bosheth. And Ish-bosheth is? Really hard to say. No, it's Saul's son, the king of Israel.

Uh, I thought I was the king of Israel. No, no, you are the king of Israel. No, no, you are the king of Judah, but I'm going to make you the king of Israel because Ish-bosheth treated me like a real dog's head. Oh, he did, huh? And that's bad? Yes, it's bad. How can I serve you? Okay, well, I'm not going to lie. I have mostly been marrying women and getting them pregnant while the rest of this book was going on so far. So why don't you Abner?

Abner, yes. Why don't you grab me another wife? Hey, baby Michael. She was nice. We did the Ferris Bueller thing in the last book. I think that was her. Okay, so let's get this clear. You want me to grab you another guy's wife? Yes, please.

As you wish. Hey, question. Yes, David. Do you have dogs' heads lying around? Because dogs, I get, but their heads... It's an expression. Okay. It's an expression. Okay, it's an expression. Got it. Yeah. So Abner comes back with some other guy's

wife for David, which makes Joab, the guy that he fought before at the pool, extremely unhappy. Hey, Abner. Oh, hey, Joab. Yeah, hey, so great job getting that new wife for King David. Can I talk to you for a second?

Sure, buddy. What's up? Stab you! Ah, my fifth rib! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Joab, what's going on here? Who killed Abner? Uh, yeah, that would be me. Did not trust that guy. You ever hear him do the dog's head expression? Yes, definitely.

It was a weird expression. But Joab, we can't just stab people because we don't trust them, buddy. We can't? No. This is going to make me look awful if I don't curse you now. What? Seriously? Yeah.

Seriously. Come on. Yeah, I have to. Hands are tied. So from now on, nobody in your family's dicks are going to work and they're all going to walk with canes and then they'll kill themselves for all your generations forever okay i mean yeah harsh curse but if none of my kids dicks are going to work and they're going to kill themselves uh not especially long term like the all your generations thing isn't really a factor at that point, right?

Oh, you know, I did not think of that. Yeah. You're like a real dog's head, let me tell you. Seriously? It's catchy. It gets in your head. No, it's not. It doesn't even make any sense.

King David. Hail! Hi! Who are you? We are Banna and Rahab, officers of Ishbosheth. Lot of names. Busy week. The son of Saul?

Right. Yes. Who the Abner guy worked. Yes. Ishbosheth. We have cut off Ishbosheth's head and bring it to you as a gesture of peace. Wow. Okay. I feel like there's just so much extracurricular murder going on right now. Does anyone understand what I'm saying? Like, I do not know any of you people, and you're just murdering each other and then coming to me like I'm involved. So you're not psyched about this? No, I'm super not psyched. I have to kill you now, and I have to cut off your heads and your hands and your feet, and I'm going to hang you over a pool.

Wow. Okay. Dude, that is super harsh. I don't know you guys. We're Banah and Rashab. You said that. It doesn't mean anything. And quick before this fucking book tosses 38 more oddly named characters at us,

we're going to close it off for the night, but we're back in a month with even more Bible Peace Theater. Before we close the lid for the night, I want to take a minute to acknowledge the passing of Michael Collins, once dubbed the loneliest man in history. He was the guy who actually had to stay in the capsule when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin went traipsing about on the moon's surface, and he somehow managed not to just choke one of them out

right beforehand and go, oh, well, what's done is done, and you still need a second guy, don't you? Anyway, he was a tireless promoter of space exploration throughout his life, and space nerds everywhere were saddened to hear that we lost him. He was 90 years old. Anyway, that's all the blast we've got for you tonight, but we'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show, The Skeptocrat, debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern on Monday. An even newer episode of our sister show's hot friend, God of Moose, debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern on Tuesday.

And an even newer episode of our half-sister show, Citation Needed, debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, I'd be cheating everybody involved if I neglected to thank Heath Enright for all the extra work he's taken on while I'm having all this dental work done. I need to thank Eli Bosnick for instilling me with all the confidence I need to take some time off by talking into a fucking mic that wasn't plugged in through the whole record. I want to thank the lovely, intelligent Lucid Delusions for putting up with my whiny bullshit for the next couple of weeks, as well as the last couple. And I also want to thank Sarah for providing this week's Farnsworth quote.

And may I add, happy 30th birthday, Casey. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's best bipeds. Zane Biggest Diggist, Brandon, Amber, William, Heather, Cecil said time would officiate my wedding. Inkfish on Pornhub, Joshua, Zach with a C but no K, Zach with a K but no C, Zachary with both a C and a K, Yaz, Kyle, Fakie made up, no reasonable person could believe I wanted to sell that baby, Elise, The Hedgeman, Raymond, Genevieve, Anna, Michael, Keith, certainly Cheryl, Brian, Daz, Twitter Dawkins is the worst Dawkins,

Steven, Alfiosus, Sarah, Rebecca, and Nikola, who are so intimidating, Putin backed the fuck off Ukraine, now didn't he? Together, these 35 thirsty fine atheists helped propel our fart jokes into another month this week by giving us money. Not everybody has the money it takes to give us money, but if they did, that'd be fucking awesome. We would be so loaded. Anyway, if you want to help us get one step closer to so loaded, you can make a per-episode

donation at patreon.com slash scathingadeus, whereby you'll earn a relaxance to an extended ad-free version of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingadeus, whereby your owner relaxes to an extended ad-free version of every episode. Or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the Donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingadeus.com. Legal services for this podcast are provided by the Law Offices of P. Andrew Torres. Tim Robinson handles our social media. Our audio generator is Morgan Clark, and he was working double time this fucking week. He also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used in the production. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you can find all the contact info on the contact page at scathingadeus.com. Sorry, it sounded like I said illegal services

for this podcast. That's a different... Andrew Torres brings us our cocaine. No, no, not that. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC. Copyright 2021. All rights reserved.