The Scathing Atheist - 454: Hi, I'm an Atheist Edition

Episode Date: October 28, 2021

In this week’s episode, Christians throw out their backs attempting to meme, God builds a bridge out of a witch and then burns her to death to help a GOP candidate, and David McAfee will be here to tell my mom I mean it about the atheism thing. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Guest Links: Check out David’s book here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08R2DQFBT/ --- Headlines: Terrifying ideological purge in Evangelical Christianity continues: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/10/evangelical-trump-christians-politics/620469/ GOP candidate laughs as church crowd yells anti-Biden slogan “Let’s Go, Brandon”: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/10/24/gop-candidate-laughs-as-church-crowd-yells-anti-biden-slogan-lets-go-brandon/ MAGA doctor Stella Immanuel claims Satan's clones want to kill anti-vaxxers: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/10/20/maga-doctor-stella-immanuel-claims-satans-clones-want-to-kill-anti-vaxxers/ Lawsuit claims school’s mask mandate is a “Satanic Ritual”: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/10/23/schools-mask-mandate-is-a-satanic-ritual-claims-christian-parent-in-lawsuit/ Rick Wiles claims the vaccine contains an “egg that hatches into a synthetic parasite”: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/10/21/rick-wiles-the-vaccine-contains-an-egg-that-hatches-into-a-synthetic-parasite/ CA Secretary of State candidate says "I dreamed of murder so God killed my witch-neighbor": https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/10/22/ca-sec-of-state-candidate-i-dreamed-of-murder-so-god-killed-my-witch-neighbor/ --- This Week in Misogyny: Christian pastor tries to hide old, sexist sermon: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/09/29/a-christian-pastor-doesnt-want-you-to-see-this-clip-from-an-old-sexist-sermon/

Warning, this podcast never runs out of fucks to give. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by Gabby and by the new Jesus-themed pizzeria, Crust Almighty. Crust Almighty, putting the pizza back in pizza on earth. And now, The Scathing Atheist. Hey guys, my name is June. I'm an ex-Mormon trans lesbian. And based on the reaction my seminary teacher had when I told him what I was at age 16,

I can really attest to the fact that at least some of us evolved from some filthy fucking monkey men. It's Thursday. It's October 28th. And it's the Festival of St. Jude. Cool. How do you do with those cancer kids this year? Would we say festival? I'm Noah Lusions. I'm Eli Bosnick.

I'm Heath Enright. And from Martha Stewart's New Jersey, Cincinnati Red State, and Redtown Blue State, this is the Scathing Atheist. On this week's episode, Christians throw out their backs attempting to meme. God builds a bridge out of a witch and then burns her to death to help a GOP candidate.

And David McAfee will be here to tell my mom I mean it about the atheism thing. But first, the diatribe. you ever notice how many christian arguments against atheism boil down to confessions of what an asshole they are okay it's easy to miss because there's like a background hum of christianity in our culture that most of us learn to ignore at a certain point. But as soon as you manage to look past it, it becomes glaringly obvious. Like, I've literally heard Christians complain that atheists are too in your face about their beliefs. Like, Christians will make that argument while wearing a crucifix. I get door-to-door salesmen for Jesus at least a few times a year, regardless of where in the country that I've lived.

Still, never gotten one for atheism but christians don't notice the hypocrisy for the same reason that i no longer notice the smell of my cat litter you live with shit long enough and eventually you stop noticing the smell this became glaringly obvious to me during a recent online argument with a religious transphobe. They were complaining about the singular they in a way that suggested they have no fucking idea what this sentence is about when I noticed that they were capitalizing the H in him when they talked about God. These motherfuckers want to complain that the singular they

is some weird affront to the sacred rules of pronouns, but at the same time time they insist that we treat the pronoun like a proper fucking noun if it's applied to their favorite deity or his son and and i'm pretty sure they'd have me capitalized son there too the the point is that the thing that they're complaining about us doing is a lighter form of the thing that they're doing and we're not even actually doing it right that's always the case. Think about how much they complain when shit like evolution or the age of the earth

comes up in children's programming. Now, the Charlie Brown special that's been playing on network television annually since the motherfucking 1820s stops cold for an echoing monologue about how correct their religion is. That's a world's worse

than what they're accusing us of right like evolution isn't atheism and neither is geology the fact that they've decided to set their religion's course parallel to the one with all the facts on it that's not our fucking fault but even if we accept their bullshit premise that telling kids about evolution is atheist indoctrination somehow the most they can accuse us of doing is the thing that they've been doing for decades hell even when it comes to teaching that shit in schools if we actually were teaching atheism when we acknowledge evolution all we be doing is succeeding in the thing that they're actively trying to do every fucking time we turn around the absolute height

of this of course is when they accuse atheism of being a religion. And this is obviously and hilariously wrong for all the bald as in a hair color and off as in a television station reasons that many atheists have pointed out before me. But even if it isn't, are you arguing that religion is bad? Isn't the idea that one of the religions is true kind of central to your whole thing? We're not a religion, but if we can all start off agreeing that that would make us less rational, that'd be great. That'd be a great starting point for our discussion. Of course, like a jackass saying he can't see the eclipse because the sun's in his eyes, they're so blinded by their own goddamn privilege that they can't see it when it's right in front of them.

That background hum of acceptability has been permeating their assholery for so long that even when they recognize the behavior itself is bad, they can't see that they're the ones doing it. And as bad as all that is, it's almost exculpatory, isn't it? Like somehow deep down, they do know that their behavior is that of an asshole, and they do know that one should avoid acting like an asshole. They're just victimized by that background cultural hum. But if you're tempted to paint them as the victims in this whole thing, I think it's worth remembering that we've been trying to show them this shit for quite a while now.

Every effort to force them to face their privilege has been met with closed eyes, fingers in the and a chorus of la la la i can't hear you when their kids start to glimpse the corners of their privilege they freak the fuck out and start a crusade against critical race theory yeah hell the very exchange that led to this diatribe was a person vocally rejecting the idea that they should be at least 1 50th as respectful to real human beings that we can prove exist as they insist we be to their imaginary fucking friend i mean look i can't blame a person for not being able to see around their cultural obstructions but it's not like nobody ever told christians what to do when their view is obstructed by a plank in their eye they're talking about you jesus interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news

bulletin joining me for headlines tonight are the butcher and baker to my candlestick maker Heath Enright and Eli Bosnick. Fellas, are you ready to thump this tub? Oh, Noah, please do not give Heath the chance to insult the surprisingly large section of our audience that are tubaholics. I cannot go through this again, Noah.

I cannot go through this again. It's fine. It means to publicly... You get knocked down, you get up again. In our lead story... Chumbawamba actually has an amazing, deep catalog. You should check it out, everybody. It's important. Phrase tub-thumping exists beyond that anyway.

In our lead story tonight, I wanted to highlight a recent article in The Atlantic that details the terrifying, ongoing ideological purge sweeping through the evangelical power structures of this nation. The article bears the deceptively optimistic title, The Evangelical Church is Breaking Apart. But what it's really about is the right wing conspiracy field. Trump is pushing out everybody who suggests that maybe black lives do matter. And while that will inevitably lead to a smaller evangelical presence,

that's hardly worth celebrating if the way they got there is by cutting loose all their restraint the christian right saying the loud part out louder yeah the christian right isn't so much a tent pole for republicans anymore as it is a maypole right now so the article starts on the case study, that of the McLean Bible Church in Northern Virginia, where their annual election of the elders turned from a formality to a mud-slinging, misinformation-fueled shitfest that included accusations that some of the candidates wanted to sell the church to Muslims and turn it into a mosque. Fuck yeah. For all those Northern Virginian Muslims.

Some really progressives serious yeah exactly okay now but according to the article the real heart of the issue though was that the church's leadership though conservative was unwilling to call white black and up down enough for the conspiracy addled trumpies in their congregation and this partisan purge is of course happening in evangelical churches all over the country. I'm not too worried. Those people can check out trumpchurch.geocities.biz. They've got a whole parallel society.

Oh, no, the lie-based racism clubs are being taken over by racist lies. Who could have possibly seen it coming? Now, one aspect of the article I found really interesting was the emphasis it placed on the fact that evangelical isn't really a denomination, right? It's kind of a catch-all demographic term that pollsters used to distinguish white Protestants from black ones. Eventually it became a self-identification thing, but it was based much more around political affiliation than theological interpretation. So the author of the article quotes Christian book editor James Earnest, who points out, quote, the evangelical church in the U.S. over the last five decades has failed to form its adherents into disciples.

So there is a great hollowness. All that was needed to cause the implosion that we have seen was a sufficiently provocative stimulus, end quote. And, of course, that provocation was Trump, who filled the empty space where our theology was supposed to go with racism and conspiracy theories. Okay. In fairness to Trump, that's a great description of the Bible. No, true. Racism and conspiracy theories, the book. That was a Trump-shaped hole where theology was supposed to go. And really, that's the problem, isn't it? If your thing is trump shaped don't have that thing have it go away yeah now i should say that the article is problematic as all hell okay so it's it's written by an evangelical christian who's desperately looking

for ways to deflect blame from the religion itself right like for example at no point does he admit the shocking degree to which evangelical pastors have embraced or ignored the rise of qanon type shit within their church he mentions their anti-woke goals early on but doesn't bring up white supremacy until the last third of the article and even then it's just like it's there to round out a list hell the author can't even resist playing the both sides card in an article about how trump is fucking up the right wing of christianity oh won't someone think of the overly woke uu church is basically oh that's the others that's the both no no conceive of what that would be and so that being said it says something when so many progressive christians

feel the need to sound the alarms from inside the building even when they know that they're arming folks like us when they do so yeah i mean good on them for noticing the fire after it burned all the women's rights and trans people but like when you read this article you can't help but feel like if you had a four sentence conversation with this person they would cry and tell me i don't get to tell them what words mean yeah i just feel yeah that's where this article was going how could i be mean to an article it's fine it's fine i'm gonna go wait in the car and in say what you meme news there's this saying that goes around the internet that the right memes better than the left and who says that right the right yeah okay in memes i'm sure yeah and insomuch as the right is far more willing to let their entire political viewpoint be

represented by a thinly veiled declaration of white supremacy that's true um it is there a veil but it's when these so-called memes hove their way onto the Christian rights pulpit that they become our territory. Which is why we're going to talk about the GOP candidate who participated in the political equivalent of muck-foddled-dump at a church this week.

Wouldn't it be truck-foddled-dump or something like that? Yeah, I know. If you're doing the spooner. There's no M. Also, that's the political equivalent of itself. It is. Okay.

So one way or the other, look, the reality is that the more uniform and less nuanced your thoughts, the more memeable they are. So, you know, keep bragging about it, guys. Okay. about it guys okay so let's explain the meme in question because society died and this is hell for society which died and went to hell last week at a nascar race cool great start to a sentence driver brandon brown was being interviewed when it became apparent that the crowd behind him was chanting, fuck Joe Biden, fuck Joe Biden. And NBC sports reporter Kelly Stavost, in an attempt to maintain that she was neither in a basket and if she was, how deplorable could it be? Desperately suggested to the driver that the crowd was chanting, let's go, Brandon. So it's really funny you should watch

the clip but anyways she knows what was being said absolutely no it's honestly like go her like that was that's pretty good on your quick thinking yeah because she's not allowed to be like oh i notice everyone here is a piece of shit so did you turn left today so ever since then conservatives say let's go brandon when they mean fuck joe biden right do you get it because seriously it's like saying a mean thing yeah nailed it they got us an entire political party of adults is doing the eight-year-old cursing thing yes like i said shit hockey mushrooms, mom. I'm allowed. I'm allowed to say shit.

I have to be able to talk about mushrooms. You have to let me say that. I was talking about asteroids. Come on. You're a swear jar. For the record, though, our guy is rejected by the crowds at NASCAR events. Their guy gets the same thing from the crowds on Broadway.

Like, even based on just that, you can tell we're on the right side of this. Vice, you can use that one for your next article. And like I said, this level of political discourse has ascended to the real source of political power for the right these days, the pulpit where this week GOP candidate Mark Burns took to the stage of none other than show favorite Greg Locke's church.

Huh. He didn't come up in that article I was talking about at the top of the show. It's weird. It's crazy. Yeah. So he showed up at the lockdown, as I call it, to spew transphobia and lead the crowd of dozen in a cheer of let's go, Brandon. Okay. I think the most embarrassing part is you're allowed to

say fuck joe biden you could just say that but they're giggling about it and diving into the bushes because mom's gonna catch them you know the real victims are here though liberal brandons at competitions right absolutely your dad's cheering for you in the stands stop dad they think that's a bad that's so i think what's obvious is that the left is lacking some good memes to get our ideas across while upsetting our ideological rivals so without further ado we here at the scathing atheist would like to introduce the following super cool piping hot leftist memes fellas oh okay so something piping hot and of the now okay the like the what's that from those whatever late 90s budweiser topical absolutely yes now that's code for the

idea of race is scientifically incoherent and the concept of whiteness is an ever-receding bulwark for losers to try to feel special behind oh i liked i you know what i like both sides that i like the meme and i like quoting the commercial hind. Ooh! What was that? I liked, you know what, I like both sides of that. I like the meme and I like quoting the commercial. Yeah. This is great. Also, fuck Donald Trump. I'm just saying it. Right, you can just say that out loud. Yeah. Okay, I want to play too.

I got this. Alright. Remember the Noid, right? I grew up in the Noid. Yes, of course. God of the Domino's Pizza franchise, very topical as well. The Noid is now a symbol of a robust social safety net created by taxing billionaires so anytime anyone complains about unions in any way or uses the phrase laissez-faire or uses the phrase providing liquidity they get side tackled by the noid we have an army of Noids running around tackling people.

I love it. Finally, the newest TikTok trend is to remind people that wage theft steals more money than all the other kinds of theft combined. I don't really have a trend. Do a dance to it. Make the Siri voice say it to a mountain goat song

who is just one guy, by the way. He's a mountain goat, people. You've got to let this go, dude. It bothers me. He's one man. I don't like the wage theft, but not taxing the billionaires is a way bigger theft. That we're letting him have. That's fair.

Yeah. And in quack kills news. Fantastic. We have a story about a terrible doctor who should not be allowed to use that title. Her name is Dr. Asterisk Stella Emanuel. Oh. And she was the star of a video from last year, you might remember. It was promoted by Donald Trump in which a group of Dr. Asterisks explained that COVID is a hoax and a conspiracy.

explained that COVID is a hoax and a conspiracy. Apparently, us evil communist heathens conspired to create something that's fake at the same time. It's the perfect crime if you really think about it. No, it's not. Don't think about it. So, during the video, Emanuel claimed that face masks are useless. I guess surgeons were using them as germ theater for the last century and she mentioned that she used hydroxychloroquine successfully on her patients they they're from canada and they're super hot you wouldn't know here's the latest very serious medical information from asterisk emmanuel satan the prince of darkness created an army of clones

and they're hunting down and murdering anti-vaxxers oh okay if this was real i think it's what it would take for us to forgive armies of clones for their part in ruining the second star wars all is forgiven guys it's all good also i feel like we don't need an army of clones we just need like aoc to tweet don't drink poison so no you won't cowards anthony tony gave you an award buddy okay quick background on stella emmanuel first of all you'll be surprised to learn she's not an epidemiologist. No. Yeah. She's a pediatrician, asterisk, and a Christian minister.

No asterisk on that one. No, no asterisk on the second one. Also makes the claim of curing people with bleach way scarier than she's a fucking pediatrician. And here's a few of the very important contributions she's made to medical science she discovered that secret doctors are using alien dna in medical treatments and uh yeah i mean all the original stuff came from space at some point that's not really helpful also if triathlomidorian dna could stop, we should fucking use it for sure if we have that. Anyway, moving on.

She also said that those same secret doctors are using vaccines to make us all atheists. So again, good. Yeah, sure. She claimed that gynecological problems like endometriosis are caused by people having wet dreams about fucking a demon. Wet dream. That's something she really said. I don't know if she said they come or not, but she said they're having sex dreams with demons. Okay. Here's the thing, though.

As someone who's tried to find a pediatrician, you know she's got a patient whose parents are like, to find a pediatrician, you know she's got a patient whose parents are like, yeah, it's crazy and bad, but she's so close to the house and pediatric. Just has a huge line every time we go.

It's a whole five-minute drive away. And that brings us to the amazing army of Satan clones that's going to kill the anti-vaxxers apparently they understand the trolley dilemma pretty well for satan clones anyway well for anybody they get it according to emmanuel quote the devil has power to give breath to the clones they want to assassinate those who will not take the mark the number of the beast or the name of the beast the moderna vaccine has luciferase are

we back to which is that we're back on luciferase yep that's the name of the beast i don't think it's just lucifer he goes by ace in the clubhouse well you know these people who think they're being clever when they like name their devil character deville in their movies i guess i can see them thinking oh they almost fooled me yeah but seriously she said this the moderna vaccine has luciferase that's the name of the beast everything about this vaccine has 666 which is the number of the beast end quote no idea what that last everything was you couldn't think of any you're making shit up and you couldn't think of any specific that you could have said that it has 666 ingredients and shit jesus you were going for a list of two and you had to cheat at the end okay i know we've talked about this before but the idea that christians think that satan the great deceiver would accidentally put his name on the mind control

clone creating whatever the fuck it's supposed to be tells you so much about the extent of their own cunning yes right this would be like if they i don't know plan to overthrow the government and they couldn't stop telling people about it it was finally coming out. On text threads. Alright. So, just a quick review of you know, reality. Sure. Luciferase, it's an enzyme that got its name from the Latin

for light. Right. It's the type of enzyme that makes fireflies glow. It's just the word for light in Latin. it's not satan magic but it does make me happy that stella emmanuel sees fireflies and thinks firefly demons are doing this weird low-level prank on christianity all summer just like flicker flicker flicker nailed it but most importantly the moderna vaccine does not contain luciferase. Oh, wow.

Yeah, right. Either way, that clone army is real, and I think we're all rooting for them. Yeah. Yes, cloney 2020. All right. Well, I'll tell you what. I now have a convoluted plan to save the world that involves renaming a bunch of life-saving medicines with devil words. So we're going to pause for a quick feasibility study and while we're doing that we're gonna offer up

a quick word from this week's sponsor gabby resin resin stupid hey you're making start to sketch angry noises what's the matter yeah yeah sorry it's these movers you know some charge more some charge less i just wish there was a simple way to compare, like Gabby does with auto insurance. What's Gabby? Oh, Gabby uses your current policy to compare your coverage with 40 of the top insurance providers, like Nationwide and Travelers. They're the one true comparison platform with fast, verifiable quotes, not ballpark guesses. Wow, that sounds great. verifiable quotes, not ballpark guesses.

Wow, that sounds great. And because Gabby uses your current coverage, they only show policies that are the same or better than that current coverage, many of them at a lower price. And Gabby is free to use and they never sell your info, so no annoying spam or robocalls. Yeah, actually, I ran my policy through Gabby when they became a sponsor and I found the exact same coverage for $100 less. Makes sense.

People who switch with Gabby save, on average, $80 a month versus their current policy. They became a sponsor and I found the exact same coverage for a hundred bucks less. Makes sense. People who switch with Gabby save on average $80 a month versus their current policy. $80. And it's not just me who loves Gabby. Gabby has been featured in TechCrunch, Forbes, and USA Today. So start saving on your auto insurance today. Go to Gabby.com slash scathing to start saving today. It's totally free. That's G-A-B-I dot com slash scathing to start saving today. It's totally free. That's G-A-B-I.com slash scathing.

Gabby.com slash scathing. All right, Heath, I'm sold. Hold on a second. I'm confused, though. If Heath is moving in the podcast-iverse, doesn't that mean that he's not going to live in this house anymore? Oh, no. He's stuck in the podcast-iverse.

We all are. Happy Halloween. No, you can't make the ads as spooktacular. You gave me one horror movie on GAM this year. One. One.

Two. A man wrote the Bible. A whore is what she wants. If it's a legitimate race. It's a slut, right? Cooking can be fun. Hey! I'm proud of a man.

This week in Misogyny. It's funny how so many men use references to femininity as a shorthand for fear. If a guy is unwilling to do something dangerous, he risks being referred to by feminine pronouns or, even worse, a pussy. I'm like, motherfuckers, I've spent the last two years watching y'all feel podcasts, op-eds, comedy specials, and day-to-day rants with unmitigated terror at the idea of maybe being held accountable for your actions eventually. In other words, it's easy to be fearless when there's no consequences for your actions, asshole. And for a great example of what I'm talking about, I want to go back to a story I missed because of the month off. It's about a pastor named Chris Voliton of Bethel Church in California. Now, regular listeners might recognize that church by its more common and less official moniker, Christian Hogworks. It's the church that tells kids they can walk through walls and resurrect the dead if they Jesus hard enough. So anyway,

last month, Voliton decided to post one of his old sermons on YouTube. It's apparently from 2014. Folliton decided to post one of his old sermons on YouTube. It's apparently from 2014. And the theme of the sermon seemed to be, you are a filthy, filthy slut, and I'm surprised God still loves you. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit that I haven't actually listened to the whole sermon. What I saw was a minute-long compilation that a TikTok user put together that provided some quick hits of the most sexist parts.

In it, he implies that women are responsible for men's thoughts about them. He implies that victims of sexual assault have it coming if they wear revealing clothes. His exact words are, if you fish with shark bait, you're going to catch sharks. And the video wraps up with him saying, quote, I've seen thousands of people's virginity restored. I have hundreds of emails about girls hymens being restored. End real quote. Now, holy shit, is there a lot wrong with that? And I only gave you the highlights of the highlights. I mean, I guess I should give him at least some credit for backing off the claim that

he's seen hymens restored and going with having seen emails about it. But holy fuck is everything else wrong with that sentence. Hymen's do not equal virginity. Virginity isn't a thing that can be restored. Virginity isn't something you should want restored. And to be honest, I kind of doubt that Chris Folliton can read or use a computer well enough to find his inbox. Anyway, the compilation of his sexist purity culture bullshit went viral, so he immediately took down the video.

Then he releases this bullshit non-pology statement where he blames the chick who put together the compilation. Quote, someone who I do not know created a short 57 second video using select sound bites from that teaching and posted the clip on social media. Understandably, anyone who saw that short video would be confused as the full context was completely missing. End quote. And look, man, as bad as the you're taking it out of context argument starts off when you're talking about magically regrowing hymens,

it's all the weaker when the reason we're taking it out of context is that you removed the context. But here, let me put it back in context for you, buddy. Chris Folliton is a misogynistic piece of shit who gets mad at women when their wardrobes make his wee-wee do a fidget. And if you need any more context than that, I should remind you that he preaches at a church with a school that claims to be able to teach you how to wield Harryry potter magic through jesus and with the promise that i'll pick some more current misogyny for the next one i'll close things off and hand you back over to noah heath and eli thank you lucinda next up in headlines in doesn't hurt to mask news it's hard to believe that there's a dumbest religious objection to a mask mandate the baseline stupidity required to dumbest religious objection to a mask mandate.

The baseline stupidity required to articulate a religious objection of any kind is already pretty high. And when it's a religious objection to safety, all the more so. But if doing this show has taught me anything, it's that even the stupid have their stupid. full display in a recent lawsuit against the central bucks school district in pennsylvania's mask mandate which alleges among other things that kids who wear masks at school are being forced to participate in a satanic ritual and by the way a reporter actually checked on that with the official church of satan just to be a dick and the spokesman for the official Church of Satan said, almost quote, what the fuck are you talking about? We used the vaccines. Mask

starts with M, so does milk, satanic ritual. There you go, yeah. I did it. So yeah, we've already heard arguments as stupid as, we're made in God's image, so you're forcing me to cover a religious icon to Psalms. Ninety one says I've got superpowers to whatever the fuck Greg Locke was

ranting about before the Dunkin Donuts manager threatened to call the police. But Pennsylvania parent Shannon Harris is making a late play for the dumbest version with this lawsuit. It's actually a lawsuit by four different parents on behalf of their eight kids. And it seems like maybe they didn't realize what a wackaloon Shannon was until it was too late. Don't get me wrong. The other parents' objections are fucking dumb. They argue that wearing masks give their kids headaches, exacerbates their anxiety, and that masks are, quote, being used as a control mechanism over the population, end quote.

Sure. But all of that pales in comparison to Shannonannon's invocation of a literal satan sorry just circling back you know what exacerbates anxiety for a kid their parents trying to sue the school over fabric that are exacerbates anxiety yep what i love the idea the kid has an anxiety attack at home he's trying to breathe into a paper bag. They're like, get that fucking away from your face. Look, I know I can never run for office because of the terrible things Heath has said on this show, but if I ever Yeah, it's my fault. Dude, run.

We'll fuck up that plan for you. My campaign slogan is gonna be I will tell stupid people to shut the fuck up while they're talking. That's it. Just a promise to be the only politician who someone's like, well, I'd like to shut the fuck up. I could be president,'s it. Just a promise to be the only politician who someone's like, well, I'd like to shut the fuck up. I could be president, guys. I don't think I could have been

president, but yeah, it weren't for he think we need an army of Eli clones running the country. Okay, so potty mouth. Here's the part she insists on keeping in the lawsuit, even when the they're coming for our precious bodily fluids guys told her it was silly. Quote, the Harris family identifies as Christian and believes that it is against God's will to wear masks because wearing masks interferes with their religious duty to spread the word of God and forces them to participate in a satanic ritual.

And in case she wasn't being melodramatic enough, it continues. Quote, during the 2020- 2021 school year the harris family felt tortured by being forced to choose whether to practice yes tortured by being forced to choose whether to practice their religious beliefs or participated sports in the district end quote okay that means this mom tried to spread the word of the gospel at some point and she was like jesus is the way that fuck i ate some of my mask fabric fabrics hard yeah right yes how the fuck does it that prevented you from spreading the gospel she also kind of gave away her own game there right because like if you actually believe in god and it's a satan ritual it's not hard at all to choose between those two things

oh lacrosse or to give my soul to the devil which she actually means is that her family was tortured by the choice of pretending to believe in god or lacrosse right so yeah the the bad news is that our secret mask-based satanic ritual to invoke the anxious headache demons might be blown wide open. The good news is that we got to torture the Harris family along the way. So that's a pretty solid silver lining. Also, they have masks in lacrosse, you fucking idiot. And in I'm Just Wiles About Perry news, anti-Semite extraordinaire and host of the malpropionizationally named

True News. Nailed it. Thank you. Has something to say about the COVID vaccine that was stupid even for Rick Wiles this week when he explained to his viewers that the vaccine contains a quote, egg that hatches into a synthetic parasite

end quote. Okay. Why would we build it with an incubation period? It's synthetic. You just inject it right in. Well, no, no, because like, look, dude, if people could see it swimming around in that needle, they wouldn't let us put it in their arms. So obviously you need to be inert. Obviously, yeah.

Oh, no, it's cool. You're just injecting me with eggs. I thought for a second I saw something swim. No, it's cool.'s cool it's like boba it's like boba right so regular listeners of the show might remember Rick for saying well gosh a bunch of stupid stuff over the years but he looks like the

street fighter character Guile's abusive stepdad he does but you might know him more recently for getting serious COVID which sadly he survived. Our thoughts go out to his family in this difficult time. Look on the bright side, Rick's family. The long-term complications could still get it.

We don't know. Absolutely. Yeah, for sure. Anyway, here's what Ricky Tiffy looked like peach flavored taffy had to say. Quote. What the fuck is happening? This Ricky Tiffy taffy. Wow. I ran a little dry. I'm not going to lie. I ran a What the fuck is happening? This rickety-kitty Taffy. Wow.

I ran a little dry. I'm not gonna lie. I ran a little... Yeah, exactly. Nice. See? Everybody wins. This is a global coup d'etat by the most evil cabal of all people on the planet in the history of mankind. And if it is not stopped, in the very

near future, they will win. That's what's at stake. Control of the world. I don't know about Joe, but I'm kind of flattered by all those superlatives. Right. Most evil in all the history of mankind. Wow. He concluded, quote, they're planting.

They're putting eggs in people's bodies. If you didn't see yesterday's true news, you need to watch it. Citation needed, dude. Yeah. It's an egg that hatches into a synthetic parasite. It grows inside your body. This is like a sci-fi nightmare, and it's happening in front of us. End quote.

Okay, you better not touch those eggs, Rick Wiles. Every light matters. That's important. I detect a heartbeat. Hold on. Yeah, so, look, I hate to do so many call to actions. I detect a heartbeat. Hold on. Yeah. So look,

I hate to do so many call to actions in a single headline segment, but it's pretty obvious what needs to happen here. I need a bunch of people to send Rick Wiles that chest bursting scene from alien with the subject. This is my cousin who took the vaccine. Or that scene where they take the thing out of Neo's navel. Yeah. Yeah. I've got good odds.

He's going to put it on air. Good odds. Good odds. And finally tonight, in things that absolutely did not happen for 500 News, according to Rachel Hamm, a candidate to become Secretary of State for California, according to her,

she murdered her neighbors in a fire by praying but in a good way right it was righteous uh she's a gop candidate by the way in case you're wondering just to be clear yeah so apparently she had a dream about getting killed in a fire by a robber and decided to pray for her neighbors to have that happen to them instead because her neighbors are witches. And apparently God came through on that. God, I miss the time when voters would reject the candidate that bragged about murdering their neighbors for better reasons than doubts about their veracity you know okay so here's the exact words from rachel ham this person is running for elected office keep that in mind quote i'm a prophetic dreamer disqualified yep already nope no you're not and you're not running yeah i'm a prophetic dreamer that means i see things in my dreams before they happen yeah we know what that meant what you're not. And you're not running. Yeah. I'm a prophetic dreamer. That means I see things in my dreams before they happen.

Yeah, we know what that meant. What you're trying to fucking say. Those are words we know. You saying that doesn't mean that. But yes, that's right. Those words. Yeah. So, continuing.

I wake up and I've just had a dream that someone tried to break into my home, murder me, and light my house on fire. Okay? Is it okay with you guys? me, and light my house on fire. Okay? Is it okay with you guys? Yeah, no, yeah. I don't really. You guys cool? Not really, but go ahead. She continued.

So I wake up and I pray. And I use my authority in Jesus' name to say, no, no one is going to break into my home or murder me or light my house on fire or harm me in any way. I go back to sleep. I wake up in the morning and I call home. And my mom says, you're not going to believe what happened last night. You know, the witches.

What? You know them? The self-proclaimed witches who live two doors down. Well, someone broke into their house, murdered them, and lit the house on fire. End quote. And everybody Jesus cared about lived happily ever after. And the name of those witches? Albert Einstein.

So just to be clear, the Christian God of the universe wants her to hold office. She announced that at the beginning of her campaign so god is backing a murderous arsonist that's official and god is also doing the murder and arson right yeah you know a wish now okay obviously that's all a lie but crazy child's lie according to rifra she's a sincerely held arsonist and assassin. That's true. I think it's very important that the courts stop persecuting Christians and start jailing

Christians for prey murdering. It's about religious freedom. It's basic freedoms. Who are we to decide that that can't be real? Yeah. Alright, well with that quick reminder of how Christians would be using their magic powers if they had them, we're going to close the headlines for the night heath eli thanks as always do manji and when we come back we're going to talk about how much i dread the question so

what do you do drug dealer okay here we go here we go here we go come on we go. Here we go. Come on. Just, you can do it. You can do it. It's just, you can do it. Hey, buddy. What you doing up there on the roof?

Yeah, are you trying to get a tan so that you can tell people you're from Jamaica again? Because it's not going to work, dude. No, no. Guys, I figured it out. I am vanilla skying right now. You're vanilla skying? Yeah, yeah. I mean, think about it.

I have a great wife and a kid. I get to joke around with you guys for a living. And it's all paid for by a magical website called Paytreon. I mean, I am obviously in a future happiness simulator. So I'm going to try and fly, right? There's no point in not trying to fly. Dude, you are not in a happiness simulator. First all look at your body got you there and second of all people support the show on patreon for a lot of good reasons oh yeah like what well they get a commercial

free extra long version of the show they can play on any podcast player by pledging just a dollar a show over at patreon.com slash skatingatheist. Hmm, that is pretty good. Plus, at higher levels, they get access to ringtones, special AMAs that Yumi and Heath did, even signed copies of the latest iotripes book. And they're supporting secular activism, which means a lot to a bunch of people. It's really important. Pretty sure I'm vanilla skying.

You okay, buddy? Landed on a trampoline. pretty sure I'm Vanilla Sky-ing. Yeah! You okay, buddy? Landed on a trampoline. Did you land safely? Nope, on the side. The metal pikes. Yeah, side. Well, maybe people go to patreon.com slash scathingatheist to help with the medical bills.

I hope so. He's, like, wedged in there. Bill, help! You know, Vanilla Sky was a bad movie. Well, I kind of liked it. Losing a lot of blood. We all face the questions. Stuff like, what church do you go to?

Do you thank God for it? Have you tried praying? The questions that leave you in a position where you either have to lie to somebody or use the A word. And if you're anything like me, you constantly find yourself asking, which is the easier strategy right now? Do I want to mislead this person or do I want them to potentially think that I'm a devil worshiper? Well, my guest today faced those questions so often that he wrote a book about him. David McAfee is a journalist and an author with an educational background in religious studies. His previous books include Disproving Christianity and Other Secular Writings and No Sacred Cows,

Investigating Myths, Cults, and the Supernatural. And his newest book, Hi, I'm an Atheist, What That Means and How to Talk About It with Others, deals with precisely these questions. How and when to tell people you're an atheist and how best to overcome whatever shock, disappointment, or misconceptions follow. So first of all, David, welcome to The Scathing Atheist. Thank you very much for having me. Glad to be here. Yeah, no, I'm really excited that this book is out there. It's a great, succinct resource for new atheists or for atheists who aren't public about it.

But before we talk about that, I kind of want to talk a bit about the author because I find this fascinating. You were an atheist even before you started college, but you pursued a post-secondary education in religious studies. Why? You know, religion to me has always been about the fascination. I've always just been intrigued by the beliefs themselves and also how and why people hold them and hold them so strongly. and also how and why people hold them and hold them so strongly. And it started when I was just 13 years old and I was going to church every Sunday, but not realizing that it was to be taken seriously.

I kind of just thought it was just stories and learn moral lessons. And when I learned that my grandma believed that if we didn't go to church, we would go to hell, you know, I started to ask these questions like, how can we believe this so strongly? And then there's another church right across the street with completely opposing beliefs, and they believe that just as strongly. And since then, I've just been attending churches with my friends and family as a kid and then growing up. And then as soon as I went to college, I knew I wanted to major in religious studies. Wow. That's awesome.

That's awesome. Okay, so let's fast forward quite a bit. What inspired you to write this book? You know, the inspiration kind of followed from this desire to learn more about religion because I graduated from UCSB's religious studies program with an emphasis in Christianity and Mediterranean traditions. with an emphasis in Christianity and Mediterranean traditions. And I applied to the graduate program for the same school. And the interaction that I had there was actually the catalyst for the book, which was the dean of admissions telling me that I wouldn't fit in with the program because I'm an atheist activist with an ax to grind.

And she said that based on just Googling my name and seeing the cover of my first book, Disproving Christianity, which I had already written the self-published version by that time. And yeah, just being judged in that moment. And I never actually got to submit my application because she rejected me before hearing anything more. So that's what made me realize that being open about atheism was more than just about telling your family. It's about, like you said, these little interactions, these little questions that come up along the way. Wow. That just blows me away. I guess the prejudice is not shocking to me, but that level of openness about the prejudice, I guess, kind of is.

but that level of openness about the prejudice, I guess, kind of is. Boy, at least lie to me, lady. Oh, yeah. And she had been transferred from a theology school just a few months prior to that. And a lot of people aren't aware, but there is a sharp distinction between a theology school, which is Christian in nature, and a religious studies program, which is secular in nature and teaches more about the inner workings of the faiths. But she came from a theology school, and I think she was kind of governing from that position still. Gotcha.

All right, so let's talk about the term atheist, right? So obviously it's one that I wear proudly. It's one that our show wears proudly. But it's only one of the many ways that a person who doesn't believe in God or gods can identify. And it's not necessarily the one with the fewest negative connotations in our society. So why embrace that term instead of one like free thinker or secular humanist? There are certainly places for words like that. There are times in which using those words is going to be better than using the word atheist.

But the reason that I wrote the book, Hi, I'm an Atheist, and the reason that I championed the word atheist is specifically because of what you said, because of those negative connotations, and because of the stigma that's attached to the word atheist itself. I feel like the more people who use that word and don't embody the stereotype, which none of us do. None of us are those devil worshipers that you mentioned. So the more of us that identify as atheist and people start to see that we are not those things, not devil worshipers, not hateful about God, not whatever it is, insert stereotype here, the better it is for everybody, including those in the future who want to be out as non-believers.

Yeah, I think that's the most convincing argument for me, and as you present it in your book, is you're just, you're making, you're softening it up for the next person who actually has to tell them they're an atheist, you know, who actually gets cornered by one of these questions. Exactly. So, okay, so just one more question on terminology. What does it mean when you say come out as an atheist or to be an out atheist? Yeah, I would say that typically means if you're not hiding your atheism from the world,

and that could mean with your family, it could mean with your people at work. I talk to a lot of people who are like, I've been out as an atheist for years, and they mean that maybe their mom and dad and or their loved ones, immediate loved ones know. But when something comes up in a professional setting, they are more likely to just let the question slide or move right by it. So I feel like being out as an atheist requires a little more than just being open with family. That's fair. Yeah, I think, I guess we're all out to varying degrees, or I guess some of us aren't out at all. So, I know we've already kind of touched on this a little bit,

but I still think it's worth framing the question, as you do in the second chapter of your book, why should I come out? There are, you know, that question is different for every person. And like you just said, I did touch on that with the biggest reason I think to come out if you're doing it for other people is to get the word out there that atheists are not these terrible people that others think they are. That's the selfless version. But it's also important just to have honesty in your life. And it feels good, at least in my experience, to have honesty in your life and it feels good at least

in my experience to have people around me know who i am and know what i'm about and not falsely think i'm something that i'm not yeah i guess at a certain point honesty is its own reward now of course i feel like the flip side of that question is also worth addressing as well because we have people listening from all over the place. Under what circumstances, in your opinion, shouldn't a person come out? That's a great question because a lot of people see the book and maybe automatically assume that I'm saying that every single atheist should come out. But I very specifically say in the book that that's not the case. There are extreme situations in which I would say the best answer is to bite your tongue and wait until you can get out of that position. And obviously, some examples of that are if you're being threatened to be

kicked out and be homeless, if you come out as an atheist, if you're a kid and your parents are very fundamentalist Christians or fundamentalist any religion, really. If you're living in somewhere in the Middle East where your life is going to be threatened. It really depends. There are certain communities here in the South where if you mention that you're an atheist, you also have a target on your back. So I would say it's really up to, it's definitely a case-by-case type of review. Yeah, I think it's important that we caveat that, yeah, there's no one-size-fits-all solution here. So let's get to some practical advice here.

Do you have any do's or don'ts for the atheists that say coming out to their family for the first time? Oh, yeah, for sure. You know, if you're coming out as an atheist for the first time, you're probably going to want to do it in a way that's confrontational, to do it in a way that's confrontational, in a way where maybe you're disagreeing with someone at Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, and someone in your family mentions, like, you need to pray or you need to do this. And it's going to be tempting to just be like, I don't even believe in that stuff.

And that's kind of what a lot of, especially younger atheists, kind of tend to fall into that. And so I advise in the book to stay away from that, to make it more of a planned thought out process and do it in a way where you're not going to create that confrontation, where they don't see you as something evil, where they see that you're just the same person who happens to not believe.

And so there are many ways to do that in a conversation to kind of ease your way into it. So that's kind of the tactic that I like to champion. Yeah, no, I can see that. It's already something that has the, there's already the threat of confrontation. Why guarantee that? Exactly. It's an inherently controversial subject because you're telling people that they're wrong about something, that they've believed their entire lives, that their parents taught them, that their parents believed their entire lives, that their parents taught them. It's something more than just being wrong about if a show is good or something like that. It's something deep for religious people.

And so it's important to keep that in mind too. Well, yeah. And nobody's indoctrinated with the belief that if you don't like the same TV shows as me you're gonna burn in hell for eternity exactly even just out of their concern for you yeah it takes on a completely different connotation now i think kind of for that exact reason and maybe for some others some people it really doesn't matter how many times you tell them that you're an atheist, they don't hear you. I'll give you a personal example. I've been doing an atheist podcast for almost nine years now. It is my full-time job and has been for three presidents, but my mom still refuses to accept that I'm

really an atheist. She says I'm just an anti-church person. Do you have any advice for the friend or family member that just will not accept your lack of belief? Yeah, well, first, I mean, to analyze the reason that that happens a little bit, it's clear to me that it's because they really need that to be the case. Because if you are really an atheist, you know, according to Christianity, that is an unforgivable sin. That means that you can't come back from that if you've blasphemed against God. really an atheist, you know, according to Christianity, that is an unforgivable sin. That means that you can't come back from that if you've blasphemed against God. And so they need to believe that it's just a phase that you'll go out of it and that you'll come back to their faith. That's part of it. And then part of it's psychological where they just,

you know, are in denial about it. As far as advice on how to overcome that, some people, as you just kind of alluded to, are never really going to accept it. There's not like, you can't just sit them down and be like, hey, this is who I am because they'll just be like, oh, well, I don't. And if you've been doing a professional podcast like this for nine years and still not being accepted,

I don't know that that's ever going to happen, but I think the acceptance then has to come on your part that that's just going to be how it is. Yeah. It's funny. I got a lot of emails about that. We did a Mother's Day thing, a live stream a little while back, had my mom on and she expressed that just during the live stream. She said, well, I don't think you're really an atheist. And I had so many people email me and say, well, you know what? If you can't convince your mom, I feel a lot better about my inability to convince my sister-in-law or whatever. Yeah, that's actually, that's a really good point. I mean, I never really had that problem, I think, because I've been an atheist open about it since I was around 13 years old. And so

they accepted it by the time I was majoring in religious studies and writing a book called Disproven Christianity. But yeah, if they're not accepting you and your podcast is called Scathing Atheist, yeah, I think that that's a little beyond reproach there. Right, right. And I think that you actually hit on a very important point, and it's one that you made repeatedly in the book and that I really appreciated, which is that sometimes the acceptance does have to come from your side. That you really do have to think more than just how is this going to affect me, but also how is it going to affect the people around me. As much as I hate to say that given the prejudices that atheists face, sometimes when you're dealing with great-grandma, who is the uber-fundamentalist, there really is no way to get all the way through.

Yeah. I actually wrote my first book, Disproving Christianity. I started writing it because of my grandma, not as a book, but as an essay to give to her because she told me that she believed every single word of the Bible. And she said that no matter what is in the Bible, she believes it. And I was like, I made up something. I said, what about this chapter, Ecclesiastes 13, 42? It says that, and I made up this completely non-existent chapter. And she's like, oh, I believe that for sure. And I'm like, okay, so you will literally believe anything, not just that's in the Bible, but that I say is in the Bible. And what I did there was I continued writing this Disproving Christianity essay just to point out contradictions

in the text, just to show her that it wasn't infallible. And unfortunately, she passed away before it was even published into a book, but I ended up publishing it and putting it out into the world. And I still feel like it has helped a lot of other people do what I was trying to do for her. Right. Right. So, okay. So let's kind of follow that thread a little bit because I've heard a lot of stories from friends and listeners who assume that coming out as atheist to their family would be like a world-chattering event only to have their family members accept it and say, yeah, no, we kind of figured, you know, or something far later than they expected.

But I've also heard stories of people who thought maybe it would go over well and ended up estranged entirely. So do you have any specific advice for people when things go bad? Oh, yeah. First of all, you are right that you can never really predict exactly what's going to happen. I've seen a lot of people have the exact experiences that you're describing where they think it's going to go great and then it just does not. I don't know if you can hear my dog right now, but I'm sorry in advance if you do. Hey, no, that's all right. We're entirely fine with dogs making their way into the interview

as long as we know the dog's name. Okay. Her name is Maggie and she's half St. Bernard and half Pitbull and she's our chicken guardian. Oh, right on. Right on. Awesome. So a dog with a job, that's always nice. Yes. And right now it's windy outside. So she is choosing to throw stuff against the house and just do everything, be crazy. But okay. So when stuff does go bad though, there's not, again, there's no one size fits all piece of advice for that either. But it does help, as you already mentioned, to keep in mind the other person's feelings and keep in mind exactly what type of situation you're talking to into a sort of existential crisis if they start to think about the fact that their faith might not be real or something. So you can, you know, there's a lot more going on than just you at those times.

And so it's good to keep that in mind. Right, and I should also mention that in your book, you have an extensive list of resources for people in various situations like that. Oh, definitely. The resources section is probably one of the most valuable parts of the book. I mean, it has the scathing atheist in it, so obviously it's a delight to see that. Yeah, it's got to be good.

All right. Well, I'll tell you what. I feel like I saved the most important question for last. Where can our listeners go to pick up a copy of the book? You can go straight to Amazon. You can go to the Macmillan website. They have a nice little preview where you can see a lot of the book on their site. Or you can find me on Facebook at facebook.com slash author David G. McAfee. Also on Instagram at David G. McAfee, Twitter, et cetera. Same thing. All right. Awesome.

And of course, we'll have that linked on the show notes for the episode as well. Thanks so much for hanging out with us. Thanks for putting this book together. And thank Maggie for her contributions as well. Thank you much for hanging out with us. Thanks for putting this book together and thank Maggie for her contributions as well. Thank you very much, Noah. I appreciate you having me and Maggie says bye-bye. Before we put a lid on this episode, I wanted to let everybody know that Metroid Dread is a pretty solid return to form for the franchise, even if the reliance on save points is frustratingly dated.

Sorry, I didn't have anything else to talk about. I have to fill this part of the show with something. Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show's hot friend Godawful Movies debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern on Tuesday, and an even newer episode of our half-sister show Citation D.D. debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday.

Obviously, I can't power down without thanking Heath Enright for doing this episode, even though he has to do it while moving. I need to thank Eli Bosnick for doing this episode, even though he has to do it while not moving. He has trouble doing that as anybody who's ever edited him knows. I also want to thank Lucinda Lusions for being here and being so moving.

I want to thank David McAfee one more time for hanging out with us. Be sure to check out the show notes for more info on his book. I also want to thank June for providing this week's Farnsworth quote, but most of all, of course, I want to thank this McAfee one more time for hanging out with us. Be sure to check out the show notes for more info on his book. I also want to thank June for providing this week's Farnsworth quote. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's most simmering simians, George Curtis Fabiola and Big Black Cockatoo, whose IQs are high enough to trigger vertigo. Together, these four phenomenally fulsome freethinkers forwent a fraction of their fortunes in the furtherance of our fuck-filled fulminations on the faults of faith this week by giving us money. Not everybody has the keen detection skills and ability to banter well with supervillains that it takes to give us money, but if you think you're up to the challenge,

you can make a per-episode donation to patreon.com slash scathingatheist, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com.

And if you'd like to help, but not in a money-giving kind of way, it also helps a ton when you leave a five-star review and tell your friends that listening to this show cured your cancer. Legal services for this podcast are provided by the law offices of B. Andrew Torres. Tim Robinson handles our social media. Our audio engineer is Morgan Clark.

We also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at ScalingAdias.com. do you want another try at it i want another try there we go the preceding podcast was a production of puzzle in a thunderstorm llc copyright 2021 all rights reserved