The Scathing Atheist - 456: Dodger Rodgers Edition

Episode Date: November 11, 2021

In this week’s episode, Joe Biden makes America slightly less great again for bigots, we learn from a religious essay contest that Webster's dictionary defines the afterlife as something proven with prose, and Don Ford will be here to give the Bible the funny voices it so richly deserves. --- Vulgarity for Charity Learn how you can participate in Vulgarity for Charity here: https://scathingatheist.com/2021/11/01/vulgarity-for-charity-2021/ To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Headlines: Biden administration walks back Trump era protections for federally funded religious bigotry: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/11/08/biden-admin-will-undo-rule-allowing-religious-bigotry-by-taxpayer-funded-groups/ Bobby Kirkhart, an irreplaceable atheist icon, has died at 78: ​​https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/11/02/bobbie-kirkhart-an-irreplaceable-atheist-icon-has-died-at-78/ Clay Clark alleges Alec Baldwin shooting was really a Satanic ritual to protect the Clintons: https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/clay-clark-alleges-tragic-alec-baldwin-shooting-was-really-a-satanic-ritual-to-protect-the-clintons/ French Catholic Church agrees to compensate victims of sex abuse: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/11/09/frances-catholic-church-agrees-to-compensate-victims-of-sexual-abuse/ Conservatives are mad about not a Twix ad: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/11/05/conservatives-are-furious-over-a-twix-ad-that-twix-didnt-make-and-isnt-an-ad/ Wealthy man hands out $1,800,000 for essays showing "evidence" of the afterlife: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/11/08/wealthy-man-hands-out-1800000-for-essays-showing-evidence-of-the-afterlife/ --- This Week in Misogyny: Lori Alexander: Obesity would be solved if women stopped working: https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2021/11/04/christian-mommy-our-obesity-problem-could-be-solved-if-women-stopped-working/ Ohio abortion ban would be even more restrictive than Texas: https://www.plannedparenthoodaction.org/planned-parenthood-advocates-ohio/media/ohio-introduces-more-extreme-abortion-ban-than-texas Afghan women’s rights activists murdered: https://feminist.org/news/afghan-womens-rights-activists-murdered/

Warning, profanity in this episode has subliminal profanity snuck in between the syllables. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by Stamps.com and by Vulgarity for Charity, the fundraiser where we trade insults for cash. For more details, check out ScathingAtheist.com or look for a link in the show notes. And now, The Scathing Atheist. G'day. As an insufferable know-it-all, both on and off the interwebs,

I can assure you that we did in fact evolve from ooh, uh, from healthy nunkey nen? Fuck you, Zuckerberg. It's Thursday. It's November 11th. And it's Veterans Day.

Yeah, big shout out to all the very much atheists in the foxholes. Fuck you. Yeah, exactly. I'm Noah Lutions. I'm Eli Mosnick. I'm Heath Enright. And from just barely Phil Murphy's New Jersey, Maize and Bluetown, Ann Arbor, Michigan,

and Redtown, Blue State, way across Georgia, this is The Scatating Atheist. On this week's episode, Keith was saying fuck you to the people who say there are no atheists in foxholes. That's correct. Not our veterans. To be clear, we learned from a religious essay contest that Webster's Dictionary defines the afterlife as something proven with prose writing. And Don Ford will be here to give the Bible the funny voices it so richly deserves. But first, the diatribe.

You know, one of the negative aspects of religion that we don't talk enough about is the way it tricks dumbasses like Aaron Rodgers into thinking that they're smart. Let me back up just in case you and I move in radically different news circles. Aaron Rodgers is the superstar quarterback for the Green Bay Packers, and until the week before last or so, he was one of the most popular athletes in all of America. And part of his appeal was that he came off as a really intelligent guy. He challenged the stereotype that said athletes had to be idiots. Hell, the dude even guest hosted Jeopardy at one point. And then the facade of intellect all came crumbling down last week when he started quoting Joe Rogan in defense of his anti-vax bullshit.

See, turns out he was lying to his team about being vaccinated. He wasn't so sure about all them chemicals and the what nots that they put in them vaccines. So instead, he took a regimen of conspiracy theories and tinfoil hat pharmaceuticals and figured that was pretty much the same as being vaccinated. So he lied. And in so doing, he put his teammates, his team staff, the opposing teams, his fans and all of their families at risk. And when the inevitable avalanche of bad press followed, he went on a radio show and spouted right wing catchphrases about how he was being canceled by the woke mob. Of course, this is relevant to us because Rogers is an atheist or I mean, he's one of the people

who doesn't believe in God but doesn't have the guts to embrace it with that word or whatever. But he's had a few choice quotes in his career where it makes it clear that he rejects religion. And that convinced a lot of us to embrace him as one of our own. Hell, it likely contributed

to the illusion of intelligence as well. Now, to be clear, Aaron Rogers is probably a pretty smart guy. He's certainly no genius. That would be literally impossible to say the dumb shit that he said in that interview if he was, but he's also no idiot. In a weird way, though, even in atheism, he's a victim of religious bullshit. See, at some point, his intelligence led him to question the popular narrative about God

and the afterlife. He doubted it. He probably researched it. He realized it was very clearly nonsense. He rejected it. And that's good, right? That's how smart is supposed to work. But at the same time, it reinforced the dangerous idea that truth is found by rejecting expertise. Of course, the correct lesson to take away from this is that expertise is meaningless if you're an expert in bullshit. But perversely, it often has the exact opposite effect on people. Bullshit experts like, you know, alternative medicine practitioners and conspiracy theorists will often use the religious lie to back up their claim. Right. It's it's living breathing proof after all that the experts can all be wrong on something and if it can happen to priests

and theologians why couldn't it also happen to doctors and scientists think about how much of the conspiracy theory worldview is propped up by this a person rejects religion tosses out what the experts have been telling them their whole life, and suddenly everything adds up. Questions that bugged them forever start to fall away and shit makes sense in a way it never did before. Things that seemed impossible turned out to just be impossible and wrong. And then at that point, it's really easy to start asking yourself, OK, what else are the so-called experts lying to me about? After all, quantum physics doesn't make any more sense than the nature of the soul. The Big Bang is just as baffling as the Trinity. When that happened with

religion, it turned out the real answer was simple. And would you look at that? This guy over here has a really simple answer for all the aspects of science that baffle me as well. But there's more, because at the same time that religion is providing this universal example of the fallibility of experts, it's also reinforcing this paradoxical idea that certainty is an intellectual impediment. After all, nobody's as certain as religious people. Nobody believes their thing harder than a zealot, or at least nobody will vocally claim that they believe it in the desperate, unsolicited way that religious people will proclaim it. But that's indistinguishable from certainty if you're not cynical enough. So when the Aaron Rodgers of the world start

asking themselves why so many people are fooled by religion, it's perfectly logical to conclude that their big problem was their certainty. That might even be right, but it's not a problem with certainty it's a problem with religion now granted certainty can serve as a fantastic barrier to knowledge that's hardly exclusive to the domain of religion but at the same time uncertainty can be every bit as much of a barrier some people are certain because they're pig-headed or incurious or indoctrinated but other people are certain because they're fucking experts rejecting myjecting my Aunt Kathy's certainty that gay people are going to burn in hell and rejecting the FDA's conclusion of the effectiveness of a vaccine are not equivalent propositions, right? Even if they both express equal levels of certainty. Look, Aaron Rodgers can go fuck

himself with this cowardly and selfish bullshit. I'm not trying to make excuses for him, but we're all victimized to one degree or another by our culture's quixotic need to pander to religion. Even if it's only when the dumb asses around us refuse to get fucking vaccinated because of it.

When we as a culture afford religion legitimacy, we do so at the expense of legitimacy itself. Because religion is so goddamn wrong that it makes the very concept of right suspect. They're talking about your Jesus. We interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are the animal and vegetable to my mineral Heath Enright and Eli Bosnick. Fellas, are you ready to question

everything great you know Heath's gonna choose antimatter just to fuck with us if we ever play that game you said think of anything categorize better you said anything alright well that's winning I won I think we have some new shit for Andrew to adjudicate again so while we do that we're gonna pause for a word from our annual charity fundraiser

vulgarity for charity Andrew got sucked into my black hole. It doesn't even make sense. And if you don't go to modest needs by midnight tonight, I will release the photos for everyone to see. Hey, Eli, what you doing there? Yeah, you're doing your blackmail

voice again. What's up? Yeah, definitely blackmail voice. Oh, yeah, I am actually blackmailing people. I'm blackmailing people to donate to Vulgarity for Charity so that we can roast the people they hate. Eli, you don't need to blackmail people. For just 50 bucks, folks can submit anyone they hate and they'll have a chance to hear their roast either here or over on Cognitive Dissonance. Sure, a chance. But I bet those are like super duper long odds to actually get picked, right?

Not really. Not a state lottery. They actually have a decent chance of hearing their roast on the air. Even if a bunch of people donate? Even if a bunch of people donate. Oh. Okay, but what if I don't have 50 bucks to give? That's actually okay.

Donate what you can because a bunch of our donors have already requested to have their donations supplement folks who can't afford to get it entered. Wow, that was nice of them. But what is this ModestNeeds.org anyway? And why are we giving them a bunch of money? ModestNeeds.org helps people who aren't eligible for other kinds of aid to avoid poverty. You can help pay a single mom's hospital bills. You can buy a kid a new wheelchair.

Actually, we already paid that one off. They're getting a chair. Oh, already? Awesome. Yeah, it's awesome. But there's still plenty of causes. All right, guys, you sold me. What do I need to do? Just go to modestneeds.org, give what you can, and then send us the proof along with

who you'd like us to roast to vulgarityforcharity at gmail.com. We're starting the roast one week from today. So the sooner you get your donations in, the more likely you are to hear yours read on the air. All right. So do I call those people back and un-blackmail them? No, you're good. That phone we gave you is a toy from Target.

It's fine. Ah, got it. Yep. And now back to the headlines. In our lead story tonight, we have a follow-up to a parting fuck you that the Trump administration left us as their ignominious term was winding down. We talked back on episode 408 about a last-minute rule change by the Trump Labor Department that essentially made it legal for federally funded employers to discriminate against anyone for anything as long as they were religious about it. They licked the not bigotry on their way out of the White House. Exactly, right.

tree on their way out of the white house exactly right and when we covered that story i wondered aloud how long it would take the biden administration to get around to fixing it given the mountain of broken shit they were inheriting and the fact that the right would certainly spin this as removing religious freedoms well if you had 292 days in your office pool congratulations because on monday the department of labor proposed a rule change that would return us to the good old days where to be a federally funded bigot, you had to be an actual church. Yeah. OK, so it's definitely good news. But big picture, we improved the situation by going back to a better stupid. Yeah, that's what happened. Build back to a better. Yeah, he's got to work on that one. They add to it and and the kkk has to go back to ghost costumes the leather biker shit is confusing okay you gotta be ghosts again better

agree with that it's a clunky phrase it was already clunky now it's a lot so at the heart of this whole thing is executive order 11 246 which was signed by lyndon b johnson way the hell back in 1965 it basically said that if a contractor discriminated in hiring, they can't receive federal tax dollars. I mean, they should just not be able to receive dollars at all, but this is what we got. Oh, what's that? You hear that scraping sound? That sounds real bottom of the barrel-y. That scraping sound. So, of course, like every American regulation against bigotry, there's an exemption for religious employers like churches and religious schools.

Now, in a perfect world, that wouldn't matter because churches and religious schools wouldn't be eligible for federal tax dollars to begin with. But when they provide secular services like running orphanages and shit they are and because the employer is doing the secular stuff generally have to be the employees that are doing the religious stuff there's an exception carved into the original rule that allows them to for example not hire atheists for the nun position just because they're atheists yeah and i want to point out that like exceptions like those ones are often treated as like the reasonable example that you're supposed to be like oh okay about but i actually don't think you should have any jobs in your thing that do any kind of discrimination yeah like that's just me though i'm a grumpy old atheist i don't want you to have lady nuns i guess well yeah yeah let's let's be super clear about how hard that exemption can go fuck itself because also in

addition to your point a narrower exemption could be written that would allow them to turn away non-Christians for positions of Christian leadership that also couldn't be used to like turn away unwed mothers or LGBTQ applicants. Noah just wrote it. There's the narrower exemption. Right. It's that. It's one sentence. So there were already plenty of problems with Executive Order 11246 before Trump got to fucking with it. 11 246 before trump got to fucking with it but the rule change they implemented extended that already problematic exemption to literally anybody who wanted it all they had to do was say they were

religious okay we are all sincerely held churches now everything's a church laws don't exist can we actually move forward now why is this so fucking complicated yeah but okay that's the craziest thing because like i sincerely hold non-religious beliefs so much more dearly than most Christians do their legally protected bullshit. Right. Right? But if I try to legally enforce my beliefs, I would be told, once again by a judge, that I can't have a shotgun and a three-second timer at the front of the Starbucks. Which is just... Eli, your order takes 45 seconds minimum.

It's about when you start, not how long the order takes. The micro-machines guy couldn't get your order done in under a minute. All right, but yeah, so we're stopping short of changing the rule so much that churches would have to follow rules or laws or whatever, or even be strongly encouraged to follow rules or laws, or let's face it, weakly encouraged to follow rules or laws. But we are flushing out whoever the Hobby Lobby of fixing roads is. Yes, the Department of Public Jerks, if you will.

That's pretty good. And look, this was not a foregone conclusion. Again, this is ammunition that the right will eventually use to say that Biden is coming for their religious freedoms. And when they say religious freedoms, they do mean the right to discriminate against gay people so the example is going to stick but at the same time there are literally millions of employees whose protection against discrimination was up in the air until this change was proposed and while the rule hasn't been reversed yet because of all the process bullshit any employer

thinking of taking advantage of it knows it's not going to protect them long term so this actually is a win worth celebrating for us already heck yeah and in bless her kirkhart news one of the struggles of atheist activism is that when your work is largely defined in opposition to assholes it can be hard to explain what you're actually fighting for i mean sure skepticism logically leads to support for a lot of the other fields of social justice, but since atheist activism largely deals with the causes of those injustices, right, the money and the social ills, it can be hard not to define yourself by what you're fighting against. Hell, even the word atheism is definitionally oppositional. But if you're in search of something to be fighting for this week,

I can think of no better goal than living a life of activism, even a fraction as awesome as Bobby Kirkhart, who passed away in her home this week at the age of 78. And who was defined by what she was fighting against. Still, though, lovely intro, Eli, and I agree 100%. Okay, Nazi hunters are defined by what they're fighting against, too. Yeah, that's true. Good stuff.

Hating evil is pure. That's enough. I can't think of anything better. Yep. No, these are fair criticisms. Now, if you never got the chance to meet Bobby, I am genuinely sorry for you. She was the kind of activist who reminded you of just how much more you could be doing. She led groups like Atheist Alliance International and Atheists United.

She served on the boards of Camp Quest and the Humanist Association of Nepal. She helped form the Secular Coalition for America and even opened her own home, affectionately dubbed the Heretic House, as a much-needed safe space for secular speakers and events.

Yeah, I should be fair. I tried to do that in South Georgia and the secular speakers thought I was threatening them. I had the police call them. Hey, their loss. Lucinda makes a buffalo dip that would knock their socks off. That's true. Oh, it's so good. Happily be captivated for that buffalo dip.

But more personally, I remember Bobby for her passion. Right. You'd be at a convention or a meetup or something, speaking to some rando. And then she would just appear and start staying shit off the cuff that was like smarter than anything I had ever thought on the topic. She was constantly exploring the corners of a room to see who wasn't having fun or feeling included, and she never swung dick. She'd walk away and you'd think like, oh, that was a nice, smart old lady. And then someone would be like, oh, that was Bobby Kirkhart. And you'd be like fuck oh man what did i just say oh what did i just say to bobby kirkhart okay maybe that last one's just me

but i know no in times like those i also worried about what the fuck you just said to bobby kirk yeah probably it's just you but now you have to tell us what you said you're clearly talking about something important she was very nice about it and she didn't hold it against me i may have referenced ball shaving anyways wow hammond over at the friendly atheist blog found a quote from her 2013 ssa award acceptance speech that i think summarizes her not just as an activist but why we should aspire to be like her quote so long as morality comes from an unknowable god the strong will run roughshod over the weak in abomination such as worker exploitation and child abuse.

So long as gods give differing commandments, humanity will suffer factionalism that will manifest itself perhaps in behaviors as trivial and supercilious, snobbery, but often in actions as horrific as warfare. These are not simply problems caused by fundamentalists. Even as moderate believers ignore the edicts of their priests and scribes in favor of common sense virtue, their open belief supports these tragedies. Our job is to provide an alternative. To show the life of unbelief can be, usually is, fulfilling and productive. Our job is no less than to save the world from superstitious self-destruction. superstitious self-destruction well said good stuff indeed and in baldwin faced lie news we all know that jeff epstein got murdered by clinton family operatives but we've all been trying to figure out how that ties in with alec baldwin killing cinematographer alina hutchins

with a prop gun during a movie shoot last month. Well, it looks like someone finally put together that puzzle. And it's no surprise that we all needed the genius brain of Christian right conspiracy theorist and demon based detective Clay Clark. According to Clay Clay, it was no accident. Baldwin killed Hutchins because Satan,an the prince of darkness wanted to protect bill and hillary clinton from something okay guys just so it's out there in like an official capacity if my tragic death ever becomes a prop for heartless conspiracy theorists you have my permission to lean all the way in right swap my corpse out with a fucked up called carved mysterious runes into my

head. Claim to have seen me being shoved into an unmarked van two days after my funeral. Just get in their fucking heads with it. That's going to be so fun. I mean, no, we were going to do that anyway, but now that we have evidence of you giving approval, you have saved us from a bunch of sneaking past Lucinda based hijinks. So that is very

appreciated. I appreciate that. Somebody was going to get hurt for sure. Why are you guys in a trench coat together? Heath, you're already tall. There were going to be hammer wounds. Guys are already adults. So let's start with a quick refresher on Clay Clark. We've talked about him before. It was back in July after he organized a series of QAnon rallies about the COVID vaccine being a satanic plot. And that was supposed to get Donald Trump back into the White House. There was actually a prophecy by a really good prophet. And the prophecy said, there's a guy named Mr. Clark.

And there's a guy named Donald. And that's the end of the prophecy. And that is 100% true. No, it is. So QED, I guess. And on top of organizing those rallies, Clark made the rounds on the conservative podcast circuit, where the real information comes from.

And he explained that the COVID vaccine contains luciferase. It's that guy. It's where I learned about the whole luciferase ridiculous thing. And what does luciferase sound like? Eraser. Luciferace. It's that guy. It's where I learned about the whole Luciferace ridiculous thing. And what does Luciferace sound like? Eraser. Lucifer race. Okay. Because Jeff Epstein was creating a master race of demons with the help of Bill Gates and the Clinton family, apparently.

But most importantly, Clay Clark looks like he always just poisoned an orphan in a tournament that he's in. Okay, so in this picture that you put in the notes, he looks like he just finished a monologue about how getting you angry enough to shove that umbrella up his ass was his plan the whole time. And if you've never seen him, I can see how you might be thinking to yourself, that's not an expression, Noah. But trust me, that is an expression. It is. It is the expression in this photo. In your face. My favorite behind-the-scenes things about our job is the new phenomenon where someone is so ridiculous-looking that Heath is physically compelled to put a picture of them in our

notes. Okay. With this guy, I actually did this once. I did this in July. I was so compelled that I was like, I need to remind you guys exactly what he looks like. He's literally finger-steepling. It's this motherfucker. Okay, back to the plot by Alec Baldwin to help a demon by killing a cinematographer.

According to Clay Clark, quote, It's shocking to you that Helena Hutchins was married to an attorney who's representing the Clinton Foundation? Michael Sussman is the attorney at the episode. That's not her husband, by the way. He's going to keep talking about Michael Sussman like like we didn't notice that he switched people here so it is shocking michael sussman is the attorney at the epicenter at the very beginning of the russia russia russia allegations when they were saying trump was involved with the russians doing nefarious business dealings the guy who perpetuated that story, his name is Michael Sussman.

Michael Sussman was an attorney working for the Clintons at this law firm. That is a fact. Okay, just again, I have to repeat this, not her husband. Sussman is just some other guy at that firm. Continuing, this attorney's wife just got shot. Nope, gonna stop you one more time.

Different attorney's wife got shot. Stop doing that. Fine, final continuation of the quote here let's talk about that on a personal level he just said this attorney's wife got shot you being wrong yeah he wants to talk about it on a personal level let's say that i was married to somebody who's really really on the tip of the spear and they know what's going on and somebody wanted to scare me into not moving forward or not speaking or not whatever if they killed my spouse that's maybe one way to stop most people from moving forward end quote so that's the conspiracy theory you gotta worry about

a guy who goes out of his way to explain why other people might want to murder his wife right uh sorry question for clay clark who should we murder if we want you to stop dying your hair like you're the villain in a movie starring a boy band is there a like a cousin an uncle maybe you can hop on another podcast and let us know favorite barista that'd be great okay but you're probably wondering how does this relate to a bricklayers guild? Great question. Clay Clark is quite certain that Alec Baldwin carried out the murder to move up a level with the Freemasons. And that was backed up by Charlie Ward, the host of the show where this all came out. According to Ward, quote, what I heard from somebody who dislikes Alec Baldwin, so it may be made up, is that he's a Freemason. I have people that I can contact. And he said to me, Baldwin's been trying to move up a level for some time.

When you get to a certain level, I forget what they call it now. Is it circles or something? I think it's in circles. When they move up a level, they have to sacrifice a human life. Jesus. End quote. they have to sacrifice a human life. Jesus. End quote. Fucking crazy.

It may be made up, and I think it's in circles or something, are the exact kind of rock-solid citations I want to hear in a murder accusation, right? Okay. My favorite thing about Masonic conspiracies is that you know, you know there are several deep-cover idiots in this country trying to move up

the ranks of what amounts to the fucking elks club in the hopes of exposing us satanic cults y'all just wait i'm gonna blow this potluck wide open man did you just try to shoot somebody what the fuck are you doing give me thatcat. Stop doing dive rolls around the meeting table. Stop it. You're going to hurt yourself. Yep. Also, pass the bait beans. So, just a quick review of actual reality.

Matt Hutchins is the husband of Helena Hutchins, who got shot. He had nothing to do with the Russia case at that firm. His name is not michael sussman one more time so vital this is a giant law firm matt hutchins handles like mergers and acquisitions and a bunch of other boring business words at that law firm nothing about russia or the clintons or trump i'm guessing his office it's not even in the same building as the demons department at that law firm. Actually, I'm positive about that.

I guarantee you what I just said is true. You don't need to hedge, buddy. Now, granted, I have no evidence to contradict that Alec Baldwin is a satanic Freemason who kills people to move up his circle level thing. But shooting Helena Hutchins was completely unrelated to that that was just a normal manslaughter yeah plus that killed someone's circle in the freemasons club it's not even worth it it's just like matthew broderick and charlize theron and charlize never makes it to the meetings anymore so you're just hanging out with matt and she killed her dad to move up while we remind eli the first rule of Mason's Club, we're going to pause for a word

from this week's sponsor, Stamps.com. Okay, but Uncle Chuck, this is like a nice fruit basket. You know what? Maybe I will just eat it myself. Hey, Noah. What's going on there?

Oh, hey, Heath. I'm having a bear of a time getting everybody to come get their Christmas presents this year. People are so ungrgrateful don't you have family like all over the country seems like it would make more sense if you just mail them their presents and schlep down to the post office please uncle charlie's like not even a seven hour flight away i mean if you want to skip the hassle of the post office why don't you just try stamps.com. What's stamps.com? Stamps.com lets you compare rates,

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and enter the code SCATHING. Alright, Heath, I'm in. Hello, it's me, Grand My Vet. No, I hear you had a present for me. Oh, no, go ahead and go home, Grandma. I'm going to mail it to you. But I came from Boston. I said go home.

A man wrote the Bible? A whore is what she wants. If it's a legitimate race. A dangerous slut, right? Cooking can be fun. Hey, I'm proud of a man wrote the bible a whore is what she wants if it's a legitimate race cooking can be fun hey i'm proud of a man this week in massager i swear y'all laurie alexander has now blamed working mothers for more shit than boomers have blamed millennials war so for those of you unfamiliar with my arch nemesis laurie alexander is the illegitimate love child of the scareccrow and the Wicked Witch of the West. She blogs under the name The Transformed Wife. And the name just leaves me wishing her Decepticon ass would fuck off back to Cybertron.

Her whole shtick is saying impossibly sexist shit about how being barefoot and pregnant is better than it sounds. And according to Lori, virtually all of the world's problems are caused by women working or, even worse, getting educated. And the latest societal ill that she laid at the feet of uppity ladies, that's going to be obesity. She starts off pining for the good old 50s and 60s, back before everybody got fat. And then all of the women started working and getting educated, and they weren't home to cook healthy meals for their children anymore. Damn feminist. But don't worry. Lori's not going to bring you problems with no solutions.

So she wraps up the post by explaining that obesity shouldn't be an issue if you're sufficiently Christian. Which is great. Because God knows that overweight kids didn't have enough bullshit to worry about without their fucking parents being told it's because of their impiety. But the stories just get worse from there. Apparently, Heath is out of Ohio for all of two days and things are already falling apart there. Last week, their state legislature introduced House Bill 480, an abortion ban modeled after the one in Texas, but even worse. It has the same sue people for the medical procedure structures designed to insulate it from a court challenge, but it does away with that wishy-washy heartbeat requirement.

It just bans all abortion altogether, heartbeat or no. And look, I can remember a time not that long ago when we could just laugh off shit like this. It's a law that forbids a right that's constitutionally protected and has been upheld over and over again by the Supreme Court. On top of that, its very framework makes a mockery of the whole concept of judicial review. In any sane world, this would be a story about those wacky nutters in the Ohio State House beating their heads against the wall. But any illusion that this world was sane dried up long ago. And look, I try not to make this segment too heavy because believe it or not it's super easy for a weekly segment about misogyny to get depressing

and it's for that reason that i'm not loading every week up with stories out of afghanistan since the american withdrawal and the taliban takeover things have gone to shit quick for the country's 14 million women and despite the terror that they're facing, a lot of really brave activists are still fighting for the hope of equality. Well, on Monday, I saw my first story about one of those brave activists turning up dead. A 30-year-old lecturer named Frazan Safi. According to her sister, quote, There were bullet wounds all over, too many to count, on her head, heart, chest, kidneys, and legs, end quote.

This is just one of those things I don't want to slide underneath your news radar. This shit is happening. So with apologies for the heavy clothes, I'll hand things back over to Noah, Heath, and Eli. Thank you, Lucinda. Next up in headlines in the French correction news. So, okay, so I wanted to kick the back half of the headlines off with a good news story to compliment the lead. But unfortunately, it does look like Franklin Graham is recovering nicely from his heart surgery. So I'm going to have to go with something a little less upbeat than I was hoping for.

little less upbeat than i was hoping for oh but francis catholic church announced on monday that it would financially compensate sex abuse victims even if that meant selling off property or taking out loans it will and as depressing as it is to discover that this is apparently optional it is good news on the whole okay i'd love for them to know that it means selling off property and taking out loans we'll tip into the nazi gold if we have to right here we'll see we will compensate the people we raped just like you would have to is a hell of a silver lining no hell of a silver lining right except we have people in jail okay so a few weeks ago on episode 451 we talked about the report the bishops conference of france commissioned that estimated there were at least 333 000 victims of catholic child rape over the last

seven decades or so in france and the big question then was what they were going to do with the information specifically what they were going to do with the recommendation section of the 2500 page report now they did ignore a disturbingly large chunk of that but this week they announced their intent to create a national independent body tasked with addressing the issue of compensation of course given the number of times catholics have pulled the rug out from under independent bodies they hired to deal with this problem i'll believe it when i fucking see it but the fact that they're doing anything at all is more than we've come to expect from the catholic church yeah i wish i could have hired an independent body to investigate how and when I should pay back that Chuck E. Cheese.

But no, ankle bracelet. So unfair. I'm very much on team Chuck E. Cheese here. Yeah, no, me too. Sound like Andrew. Now, of course, I need to emphasize the extent to which this is backwards looking, right? Like, I get that to compensate your victims you have to look into the past and i'm glad that they're doing that but i have to emphasize that like whenever we

report on these type of things that the problem is not strictly relegated to the past right like the report that came out in october didn't find some particular date when they stopped raping kids or even when they stopped systemically covering it up and the press releases and the speeches surrounding this latest event are rife with the language of some distant shameful past that the church has long since moved on from so let's be super clear they announced virtually nothing in terms of preventing this from happening in the future yeah and in hocus pocusing the mama bear news too much much, too busy. Yeah, a lot.

There's a lot there. The Mars Company produced a series. I have no idea. Yes, it's busy. I don't even know what it's busy at. What is it busy doing? Poking the bear. Mama bear.

Pocus, pocus, pocus. It's a lot of. Oh. No, no. Got it. That's awesome. Thank you. The Mars Company produced a series of short films for Halloween,

one of which was supportive of kids dressing how they want. And you know what that means, Anna? What are the guys talking about? It's the newest, the greatest Christian freak out. That's right. Christians lost their minds this week over a short film they thought was a twit commercial about not bullying kids for how they dress because christians are literally on the side of psa bullies now yep

that's where they are true philosophically well and and they're against the freedom to dress how you want in the name of freedom exactly don't tread on my fascism right it's a weird weird logo phrase thing so the short film in question which by the way you should totally watch it's only a minute and 30 seconds long is about this little boy who's not trans he just likes to wear dresses anyway he gets this new goth nanny who when he gets bullied by an asshole kid for wearing dresses, blows him away with her magic wind powers. It's adorable, and it has a positive message that I think we can all get behind. Someone should blow away all the transphobic bullies.

There you go. That said, because the short film series was sponsored by Mars, the company that makes Twix, a bunch of idiot Christians lost their minds and have been on the internet claiming that it is a candy commercial because it has a Twix logo in it. All right. Well, if I didn't just watch an ad for candy bars, explain my desire to shove a large, sweet, brown bar shaped object into my mouth right now, then. Yeah.

So first up was Denny Burke, president of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. Yeah. Is that a real thing? It is a real thing whose website is a terror for so many reasons. Anyways, he tweeted the following quote. So the message is this one lie to children about how God made them to anyone who opposes this lie is by definition a villain. Three, it's funny to destroy the people who oppose the lies.

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. Okay. He said it wrong with the word lie in there, but it's objectively funny to destroy bigots. That's just true. Just on its own. And when they end up acting in a Ben Shapiro movie that we cover on GAM, it's double. It's a win-win. Yeah.

That's great. It's objectively good. Yeah, he concludes, I don't do boycotts, but this one is actually making me reconsider. End tweet. Yeah, how dare someone tell children that the people who disagree with them about social issues

deserve to be destroyed. What a terrible message. It has to be organized destruction in a lake of fire. This is about ethics. This is basic ethics. But of course, it wouldn't be organized destruction in a lake of fire this is about ethics this is basic ethics but of course it wouldn't be a christian freak out if show favorite and one of the 4100 moms at the post-modernly named one million wasn't involved monica cole who chimed in saying quote this commercial has nothing to do with candy at all. Huh.

Quick reminder, that's because it's not a commercial. It's not quacking like a duck. It's not walking like a duck. It's also not that Hillary Clinton lawyer. Twix really outdid themselves with this advertisement that she teaches children to kill anyone who calls you weird or has a different opinion than your own. Is that what it tells them? It also

intimates that it's okay for adults to physically harm children and to emasculate young boys. What? Oh, you literally cut parts off of their dicks, lady. That's your side. Okay. The level of panic in that statement is amazing. A

bully kid got lightly blown out of the frame by a magical gust of wind in a video of fiction to be clear. Right, yes, exactly. And one of the moms was like, murder. You murdered a child. That's murdering. You're allowed to just kill any child is what Twix just said in their commercial for candy. She continues. Chubb is what Twix just said in their commercial for candy.

She continues, of course, Twix had a primary goal of promoting gender dysphoria through the ad, an agenda which has nothing to do with marketing candy. Right. Evidently, Twix wanted to make it clear where they stand on this controversial topic instead of remaining neutral in the culture war. Okay. These bigots keep using the word dysphoria i don't think it means what they think it means that's them yeah right they're trying to mandate dysphoria this is not hard it's not a confusing word you're right why are they getting it wrong

every time i like the idea that she wants them to be neutral she's like can't you be neutral just like switzerland they did great Everyone thinks they made the great choice. She concludes, quote, Twix crossed a line they should never have crossed. And in their attempts to please a small percentage of consumers, Twix has committed marketing suicide

in the process. There are so many candy products to choose from. So it will be simple for consumers to find other chocolates this Christmas for stocking stuffers. And all throughout the year. The rest of the time. As long as you only eat the right Twix, it's

fine. It's okay. That's like 4,000 left Twix that aren't going to happen. So very excited to see Mars joining Cheerios, Nike, Bud budweiser about nine million other products yeah right monica cole is boycotting honestly if corporations keep this up the best part is monica cole will eventually starve to death because of her own bigotry and that is almost

as good a way as blowing her away with our magic witch power. Yeah, right. She says we should just crowdfund transpositive ads for oxygen. Yes. So you're saying we should kill adults. We can murder people. You're saying murder. That's what you're saying right now. Murder the people you don't agree with. So you murdered that child actor. Okay.

Just to be a Mason. And finally tonight, in the facts of afterlife news, we have a story about the dumbest fucking writing competition since Germany ran the Who's Struggle essay contest in 1925. So here's what happened. Some stupid fucking rich guy gave away a total of 1.8 million dollars last week to 29 finalists who wrote essays that were deemed to have you know proven or whatever that the afterlife

is a real thing that definitely really really exists according to the judging panel they proved it quote beyond a reasonable doubt well nothing screams subjective truth like seven figures worth of financial incentives am i right uh so is this an annual thing heath or is she still open i sure the fuck hope so we are gonna spam the shit out of that contest next time so the stupid fucking rich guy in question is robert thomas bigelow who made his fortune facilitating meth deals and marital infidelity as the founder of Budget Suites of America. That's him.

And since making that fortune, he's been spending most of his time and money not finding alien life despite his best efforts. Yep. He also created Bigelow Aerospace in 1999. Their stated goal was to spend his $500 million to build and launch the first commercial space station. For about one-third the cost of a single space shuttle mission

by NASA at the time. The company also plans to put an inflatable space hotel into orbit by 2022. That's ambitious. They're going to be charging about $.7 million dollars a night for that so how's that all going well their company has grown all the way to zero employees exactly zero in march of 2020 they fired the whole staff and shut down the operation well sure it's like 1.7 million dollars fuck, I could get 27.4 proofs of the afterlife for that kind of money.

Yeah, the Inflatable Space Hotel actually worked in theory. It's just they couldn't find anyone who would get out and pump. Right, right. I didn't even know there wouldn't be oxygen up here, guys. I thought there'd be air. Can we just inflate it before we go? No. That's stupid, stupid, stupid answer.

Also in March of 2020, by the way, this is just a total coincidence, right at the same time, Bigelow sued NASA for $1.05 million because he super-duper helped with their space module thing that they did. What? And if that lawsuit works out,

I'm assuming he'll be able to build, what, seven ten-thous thousandths of a space shuttle or maybe 21 ten thousands they're a very efficient company yeah barring that maybe 17 proofs of the afterlife i don't know yeah really get it out there anyway getting back to something even dumber yep that bigelow did against all odds. Here's the official description of the essay contest. Quote, entrance must qualify as serious researchers. Oh, damn it. They've already thought that. They think they're going to get us.

God damn it. They have to be serious researchers with a record of at least five years of study in the field. That'd be the field of afterlife. I don't know. I feel like that counts. And preferably an affiliation with groups like the Society for Psychical Research in Britain. Submissions of up to 25,000 words will be judged by a panel of specialists. Oh, panel of specialists.

You hear that, sixth grade English teachers? There is a worse job than yours. And by the way, here's how the prize money works. Before the contest even started, he announced that the person who definitely will indeed prove the afterlife the best definitely will do that beyond reasonable doubt. That person will get $500,000. Also $300,000 for second place and $150,000 for third. Definitely. How do you prove something the third best? That's not how proof...

You know what? Never mind. I don't know why I'm caught on that. Eli, this is why you need a panel of specialists. Obviously. Ideally, you know, serious specialists. A lot of field. Lots of work in the field of afterlife.

One of them's just a ghost constantly trying to turn the... I'm sorry, can one of you move me to the next essay? I am... This is going to take forever. Also worth noting, in the announcement for the contest, Bigelow added that he has an idea in his head

about what the best evidence might be but it would be quote prejudicial to say so he didn't say now before you start thinking to yourself oh that's fucking stupid uh keep in mind he also stipulated that religious anecdotes and bible verses do not count as proof. So this is serious. It's a serious essay contest. By the way, in future Proof of the Afterlife essay stories, I'm going to need you to pull the before you start thinking, oh, that's fucking stupid trigger way earlier. Yeah, like

after the first sentence, if you don't mind. Well, the winner just got announced and his essay was a big collection of religious anecdotes about near-death experiences and reincarnation and very well-documented, is what they said, very well-documented memories about past love. Well-documented memories? That's correct. Yes.

Jesus fucking Christ. Okay. Again, you're probably thinking, oh, that's fucking stupid. No, you almost said that. But keep in mind, seven other types of evidence were also presented that the afterlife is definitely real

by the guy who won the thing. You see that, mom? Mom, you wasted all that time texting me this stuff. You could have won a half a million dollars. I don't even read those texts, mom. You don't listen. I feel like she's probably

the best writer of any of them definitely guaranteed beautiful prose work a little Aldecott in there it's weird that they wouldn't name the other seven types just name your other types of heavens I don't know what that would be a hard list to compile actually so

so beyond the top three winners Bigelow ended up giving prizes to 26 other essays as well. And he's going to compile them all into a set of books. So you're probably thinking that sounds great. But will I be able to get those books in hardcover, richly bound in faux leather with gilded pages and ribbons? And yes, you will. Huh.

And they'll be able to fit perfectly into Eli's shelf of pretentious books he has not read. Wow. Attacking out of nowhere. New listener, I would never do that to my friend Heath. I don't know why he's being mean like this.

It's crazy. All right. Quick before Heath puts together an audio montage, we're going to close the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Jumanji. And when we come back, we're going to start acting out that book of joint papers again.

Dude, brisk. Brisk? The tea? Yes. I am telling you, I am on it, and it is delicious. Eli, you realize it's literally just sugar water no it is brisk don it's brisk stop saying brisk you said it's hey guys guys are you done with your weird unpaid ad for brisk so that we can do bible peace theater oh i didn't think of it as an ad do

you think they might send me some for free i do not definitely not no no fine fine fine fine fine where are we in the bible right so rehoboam uh that's Solomon's son, he's doing, you know, not such a great job as king. So God promised part of his kingdom to Jeroboam, who is now also not doing a great job. Man, they could not make these names more confusing if they tried. I feel like they tried. So now we're going to check in on Jeroboam burning incense at the altar when a man of God appears with a dire prophecy. Lou, Lou, Lou, burning incense stuff.

Incense stuff is my favorite stuff to burn. Hear me, people of Israel. God has told me that a boy named Josiah will be born from the house of David who will sacrifice the priests who are burning incense on you. And their very bones shall burn on this altar. I'm sorry, Tom, was that Bobcat Goldthwait? Yes, that was Bobcat Goldthwait. Thank you. Okay, I know our listeners don't exactly skew super young, Was that Bobcat Goldthwait? Yes, that was Bobcat Goldthwait. Thank you. Okay.

I know our listeners don't exactly skew super young, but do you think people are going to get that? What? Okay. Young people, they know who Bobcat Goldthwait is, don't they? I mean, he just had a thing where he... Yeah, Police Academy, right? Those movies actually don't hold up super well. A lot of rape...

Oh, hey, when crack.com is here he was also in hot to trot by the way all right fine bobcat goes way to this okay police academy was problematic though i'm referencing that but so uh yeah you mean stuff okay uh can someone arrest this crazy guy i'm trying to do incense stuff. My fake gods are the high places. My lord, your hand. Oh, God, my hand. It's all dry.

Yeah. Yes, God has dried your hand to show you the words I speak are true. Sorry, he dried his hand? Yeah, it probably means leprosy. Oh, maybe it means that thing in winter where your hands get dry and it just feels weird to touch them. Oh, I hate that. That's the worst.

You guys should lotion. That takes care of that. Okay, I don't own lotion, Don. I'm not Romanian gymnast Nadia Comaneci, okay? Google it. Don't Google it, though. I'm not Romanian gymnast Nadia Comaneci. Okay? I don't... Google it. Google it. Don't Google it, Don. Okay. Okay, fine. I believe

that you actually are talking for God. Can I have my hand back now? Sure. Here you go. Okay, so you want anything to eat or drink? Nah, God told me to never eat or drink and not go where I came, so I'm gonna make a couple of loops around the room and see you later. Couple of loops? Wow.

It really, really seems like that's just a crazy guy. God heard that! Sorry, sorry. So meanwhile, back in Bethel, an old prophet hears about this new guy and the leprosy, so he goes to see what all the fuss is about. Doing what in retrospect is almost certainly a mental illness if it happened at all stuff Almost certainly mental illness if it happened at all stuff is my favorite stuff Um, excuse me, are you the new prophet everyone's talking about? That's me

Yeah, everyone's talking about how good at prophecy you are Say, why don't you come back to my place? We can have a snack, talk God-prophet stuff. Oh, man, I'd love to, but God told me not to eat or drink anything and not to go the way I came, so... Oh, he did? Yeah. Okay, well, what's that, God?

He can? Oh, hey, guess's that, God? He can? Oh, hey, guess what? I've got great news. I just spoke to God, and he said that you could totally come back to my house and have lunch and stop stealing all the attention in town. I can? Yep, you sure can. Yes, you can.

I was also in Scrooge. You were. You were in Scrooge. Not a lot of people familiar with that film, but you were in it. Wow, that was delicious. You were. You were in Scrooge. Not a lot of people familiar with that film, but you were in it. Wow. That was delicious. Thank you. Oh, no problem.

So look, I want to talk to you about this concept of a thing called territory, right? See, the thing about... Dude, not cool. Wait, what was that? Oh, yeah. No, that really was God. And he's super pissed that you ate and drank and went back the way you came. So you're going to die and not be buried in your family's sepulcher.

But he told you it was fine. Did he, though? Oh, God, you are a dick, man. Now I'm a dick who's going to be buried in his family's sepulcher, so... Oh, I'm out of here. Hey, hey, hey, hey, prophet guy, wait, wait. Yeah? I think God Bless America was really good,

and I wish it had gotten more attention. Oh, well, thank you. Rise up, fucking, bit tricky guy, prophet. Oh, cool, a lion. Oh, you don't see a lot of those everywhere. Oh, God, I'm getting hit by a lion. Oh, this would be so much more funny if I wasn't, you know, mentally deranged or something.

Old prophet, old prophet. Yes, my son, what is it? Yeah, so that guy who came for lunch today, he got killed by a lion just outside of town. Nice. Got him. You got him? Well, now the lion is just standing there, kind of glaring at everybody. Like, we should feel guilty for some reason, I think. You know anything about that? Damn. Well, you know what? Bring his body back and bury him next to me when I die. Okay. You got it.

I'm sorry. I don't want to do this with every chapter, but what the hell was that story even about? Why didn't anybody have a name? Why does he get buried with the guy who killed him at the end? Okay, so... Yeah, fun fact, that story is bad. It's badly written. Yeah, but it feels like you kind of want to do this with every story. I hate this book. Yeah, us too. Meanwhile, Jeroboam has made God mad, so his son gets sick.

Wife, come here. Yes, my husband? Our son Abijah is very sick. You must go to the prophet Ahijah and ask for his blessing. Come on, Abijah and Ahijah? You guys are fucking with me. That's really the name. So stupid.

Anyway, go ask Ahijah for help, but go in disguise. In disguise? Why? He's blind. Well, because if you don't, then we bought all these mustaches for nothing. I told you not to buy the 12-pack. Nobody at Halloween wanted to wear them. They already had their own costumes.

I'm not going to have this fight again with you. Just go ask for a blessing. Like Halloween misadventure. So stupid. Uh, hi, Joe. Yes, who's there? Oh, uh, it's me. A lady that you don't know.

I'm here for a blessing for my son. Oh, you can't fool me. I'd know those feet anywhere. You're Jeroboam's wife. You're saying you recognize me from the sound of my feet? Yep, that's what the Bible says. I recognize you from the sound of your feet. Is that because you're into feet?

Feels like you're into feet. What? No. I know what people's feet sound like because I'm a prophet. It's a God power. Feels like you're into feet. Leave me out of this, you perv. All right, knock, knock.

Anyway, God says that your husband is the most evil person in the world, and he's going to kill everyone who pisses on the wall in your house. Uh, I'm sorry, everyone who what? Yeah, that's what the Bible says. Him that pisseth against the wall. I think it means boys. Wow, that's a weirdly vivid and gross way to talk about killing my sons. Right? In the Bible.

I said so many other things there. Also, wherever you go, you're going to be treated like literal shit. If you die in the city, you'll be fed to dogs. If you die in the country, you'll be fed to voids. That's not how shit is treated. Okay, you know what? That's a weird note. It's besides the point. Anything else?

Yeah. If you ever, ever go home again, your son, the one who's sick, he's going to die. Wow. Okay, that's rough. Really? Yeah. Sorry, not a good prophecy. Okay, that's rough. Really? Yeah. Sorry, not a good prophecy. So, where are you going now? Oh, home, I guess.

Seriously? I just said... My stuff is there, okay? I don't know where else I would go. Okay. Okay. And with the quick assurance that we're well over a sixth of the way through this thing, we're going to wrap up for the night,

but there's a nearly infinite amount still to come on Bible Peace Theater. Before we return to carbon freeze for the night, I want to thank everybody who's donated to Vulgarity for Charity. Once again, you amaze us with your generosity. We're on pace to squeeze every penny out of that $100,000 match, but we're not on pace to beat our last total, so we could really use your help. More importantly, a lot of families facing a rough holiday stretch could also use your help. Just go to modestneeds.org or check the show notes for more information. Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show's hot friend,

Godawful Movies, debuting at 7 p.m. Eastern on Tuesday, and an even newer episode of our half-sister show, Citation Needed, debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, I'd be in dereliction of duty if I neglected to thank Heath Enright for springing ahead, Eli Bosney for falling back, and Lucinda Lusions for being all the daylight I need to save. I also want to thank Don Ford, voice of Fantasy and Adventure, for doing what I'm pretty sure will be permanent damage to his vocal cords to sell the Bobcat Goldthwait jokes. I also want to thank John for providing this week's Farnsworth quote

and for the reminder that filthy monkey men will apparently get you zucked for hate speech. Guess those Geico commercials were prophetic. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's finest filthy monkey descendants, Chris, Steve, and Lisa Jabbles. It's time for a centrist party, skeptical wonder, Genesis, Cummings, Ines, Penelope, Celtic Kitty, Colin, and Tyler. Chris, Steve, and Lisa Jabbles. It's time for a centrist party, skeptical wonder, Genesis, Cummings, Ines, Penelope, Celtic,

Kitty, Colin, and Tyler. Chris, Steve, and Lisa Jabbles, whose sex lives probably have something to do with that tsunami of gravitational waves, centrist wonder, Genesis, and Ines, who are so hot, fevers worry about catching them, and Penelope, Kitty, Colin, and Tyler, who are so cool, penguins follow them around in the summertime. Together, these 12

people, unpopular assertions, and feline druids join forces to keep our heads above water this week by giving us money. Not everybody has the money it takes to give us money, but if you think you'd like to join their ranks, you can make a per-episode donation to patreon.com slash scathingatheist, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com. And if you'd like to help, but all your money is going to Vulgargarity for charity right now, good call. Why'd it make me feel like a dick for like sticking a Patreon pitch in there?

It's just a force of habit. People, by all means, go to modestneeds.org instead. Legal services for this podcast are provided by the Law Offices of P. Andrew Torres, Tim Robertson, and our social media and our audio engineers, Morgan Clark, who also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at scathingadeist.com.

If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at ScalingAdias.com. If it's a contest about who can get the first person to get here wins. That worked. It did it. I'm back. Yeah. Yeah, no. You were gone, and then Noah said, it's a contest. The first one to get here wins wins and then you immediately logged in

I won then yep you did Morgan send me when I won the preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC copyright 2021 all rights reserved