The Scathing Atheist - 490: Pajam-Packed Edition

Episode Date: July 7, 2022

In this week’s episode, we’ll catch up on all the bad news we didn’t get to tell you about last week, we'll say hi to Sisyphus on the way back down the hill before next week, and David Icke will insanity at us some more. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To get tickets to see us at QED, click here: https://qedcon.org/ To buy our book, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Headlines: FBI Raids trio of churches that target veterans: https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/fbi-raids-three-southern-churches-known-for-targeting-soldiers/ Texas AG willing to spearhead Supreme Court case to criminalize sodomy again: https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/06/texas-ag-willing-spearhead-supreme-court-case-criminalize-sodomy/ Norway Mass Shooting Is Being Investigated as Terrorism, Police Say https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/25/world/europe/norway-shooting-oslo.html Clarence Thomas rants against homophobic church’s designation as a hate group in dissent: https://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/2022/06/clarence-thomas-rants-against-splcs-hate-group-designation-of-anti-lgbtq-christian-church/ For many evangelical Christians, God and guns are inextricably linked: https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/for-many-evangelical-christians-god-and-guns-are-inextricably-linked/ MTG wants children to be trained with firearms: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/marjorie-taylor-greene-jamie-raskin-guns-babies-fetuses_n_62b69f95e4b0c77098bc37d3 New IFB church member arrested for threatening to kill LGBTQ people: https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/new-ifb-church-member-arrested-for-threatening-to-kill-lgbtq-people/

Warning, if the profanity is the part of the show that offends you, that's pretty fucked up. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by honey and by my body weight in weed. My body weight in weed because airports. And now, The Scathing Atheist. Hi, this is Mo. I'm about to graduate magna cumming loudly from the University of Illinois at Chicago. And you only have to take a look at the consistency of the fossil record and the GOP to see that we did, in fact, evolve from putrid primate people. It's Thursday. It's July 7th.

And we're in the same room again. Not right now. But okay, when you're hearing this, presumably we might be in the same room. Might be, yeah. I'm no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heath Enright. And from Jared Kushner's New Jersey, Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Waycross, Georgia,

this is The Skating Atheist. On this week's episode, we'll catch up on all the bad news we didn't get to tell you about last week. We'll say hi to Sisyphus on the way back down the hill before next week. And David Icke will insanity at us some more. But first, the diatribe. Good news, guys. Looks like we were worried about the theocratic takeover of the Supreme Court a little prematurely because as it happens, we can solve that whole problem with one simple trick. Turns out all we have to do is get some Muslim teachers, Wiccan teachers, and Satanic teachers

to lead kids in prayer too, and then the theocratists will see the error of their ways and quickly seek to restore the balance of church-state separation. Trust me, I read it on a meme. So for those of you who are better able to control their social media addiction than myself, I should clarify there are a number of viral posts that are making their rounds on Facebook, Twitter, etc. that make some form of that point, right? Like they'll say something along the lines of all the Christians are celebrating now that the SCOTUS made it legal for teachers and coaches to lead students in prayer, but just wait until the teacher is leading them in prayers to Osmodeus, the demon of lust,

or whatever. Right? The implication is that somehow the issue will be mitigated by reminding Christians that turnabout is fair play. And look, I'm not asking that memes capture the nuance of an issue. For the sake of humor, one must often generalize, exaggerate, or otherwise oversimplify. But when you present or share this argument, you're doing a lot more than that. You're actually confusing the issue, and for a number of reasons. See, it turns out the whole turnabout is fair play thing

doesn't work when you're talking about minority rights. You follow that road long enough. It leads you to the doctrine of separate but equal. The whole point is that the power dynamic only works one way. Like one of the viral posts imagines a world where the coach at the heart of this case was named Ahmed Abdallah instead of Joe Kennedy and asks, you know, how the justices might have ruled in that case. But that hypothetical relies on the theocrats bullshit narrative about this case to begin with. Right? Because nobody gives a flying fuck if Joe Kennedy kneels down and prays at the end of a football game. Or in the middle of one.

Shit, Tim Tebow did that all the fucking time. You see it constantly when players score touchdowns or get big plays or get injured or whatever. But what Coach Kennedy did was lead his students in prayer. He went to the team and he said, I, the guy who will be deciding how much playing time you get and what position you play, would like you to know that if any of you would want to join me in professing their love for Jesus Christ, I'll be right over here. And then he gathered players from the other team and he announced this shit before the game started so he could invite parents and spectators to join

him on the field after the game. The end result, or at least the problematic aspect of it, is the exclusion of all the non-Christians. These mass exhibitions of Christianity serve to isolate players and students of minority faiths or no faith. They're displays of social dominance that undermine the sense of belonging that students deserve, even if they're Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, atheist, whatever. And they put a none too subtle pressure on students who are on the fence about religion which one of those potential religions

comes with the most social benefits none of this would be an option for coach abdallah right if a muslim coach asked his students who would like to join him in muslim prayers in the middle of the field few if any students or spectators would join him and if they did they'd be the ones come away feeling more isolated because of it, right? Without the majority behind you, the display would be worse than impotent. But that might not even be the most egregious misconception undergirding that meme, because to play along with the idea that this ruling would allow an equal right for Muslims or Hindus or Asmodians to lead their students in prayer, you have to ignore the obfuscation that the decision was built on to begin with.

Right. The Supreme Court never ruled that it was OK for faculty to lead students in prayer. They ruled that no such thing ever happened. Right. Despite the pictorial evidence that Sonia Sotomayor included in the fucking dissent. Basically, they ruled that Ingrid Bergman was imagining those gaslights dimming and brightening the whole time. ruled that ingrid bergman was imagining those gas lights dimming and brightening the whole time they presented the case as though kennedy got fired for kneeling in a private prayer after the game and entirely ignoring the fact that nobody was taking issue with that part and that's so much worse than simply ruling that there's nothing wrong with teachers leading their students in prayer not that that's not bad this is just way fucking worse because as the meme suggests

such a rule would apply across the board and while that might not arm everyone in the fight equally it would at least arm everyone i mean it's hard to imagine a muslim teacher in the u.s risking their job and inviting even greater discrimination and demonization of their religion just to prove this rhetorical point even if it could have had a similar effect which it can't but christians are far from united in their core beliefs right if the ruling explicitly allowed for teacher-led prayers it probably wouldn't effect, which it can't. But Christians are far from united in their core beliefs. If the ruling explicitly allowed for teacher-led prayers, it probably wouldn't take too long for the whole Catholic-Protestant thing or the works-faith thing or the young earth, old earth shit to bubble up to the surface and prompt a review. But what they actually said is if you're

sufficiently inoffensive to the majority, we will pretend it never fucking happened the deception at the heart of the case effectively circumvents all of that shit and insulates the violation against any kind of theocratic jujitsu we might come up with and i get that most of the people sharing these memes are doing so with the best intentions i get that they're not really suggesting that coach abdallah go out there and lead his players in a muslim prayer but even pretending like they could for the purposes of the joke undercuts the seriousness of this issue. It pretends that there's still some kind of innate sense of basic equality at work with this court. It pretends that their justifications lead to their conclusions

instead of the other way around. It pretends that the minority rights were collateral damage rather than the target. And it pretends that we can win this fight by appealing to the concept of fair play. The longer it takes to jettison those misconceptions, the longer it'll be before we can start fighting back. They're talking about you, Jesus. We interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight is nobody. Because we're all hanging out together in New Jersey getting ready for our annual Patreon-only pajama party livestream. So we're not actually recording an episode, but luckily, so much fucked up shit happened last week that we had plenty of extra headlines to record then.

So we've got some gently used but never before heard headlines for you, which we'll join in progress after this word from our sponsor this week, Honey. All right. You guys ready to record the ad for Honey? Yes. Great. But Heath, there's something we thought you should know before we record the ad. Oh, yeah? What's that?

Well, this ad is actually a get ahead for when we're in New Jersey for the pajama party. Okay. So the people who are hearing this now are in the future. Yes, yes. And we know you've had a hard time with that in the past. I get it. I get it. I'll be fine.

I'll be fine. I just won't say the exact date. Exactly. Just don't say the date. Got it. Don't say the date. No, it's no problem. Okay, great.

Here we go. Today's episode is sponsored by PayPal Honey. Thanks to Honey, manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past. And you know what else is in the past days and times from when you're listening is... Dude. I'm good. I'm good. Go ahead.

Honey is the free shopping tool that scours the internet for promo codes and applies the best one it can find to your cart. It's the free shopping tool that scours the internet for promo codes and applies the best one it can find to your cart. It supports over 30,000 stores online, ranging from tech and gaming products to popular fashion brands and even food delivery. Imagine you're shopping on one of your favorite sites. When you check out, the Honey button drops down and all you have to do is click Apply Coupons. Wait a few seconds as Honey searches for coupons it can find for that site. If Honey finds a working coupon, you watch the prices drop. It's true.

I use Honey to shop for gadgets and to get money off when I order delivery. And I do it all in a time dimension that we share, all of us together right now. You don't have to say that, man. You could use it to buy Rocket Boots because you're in the future. Because that's where you are. They're one week in the future. Rocket Boots could be here next week, Eli. Plus, you can add Honey to your iPhone, too. Just enable it on Safari, and you can find savings on the go.

If you don't already have Honey, you could be straight up missing out. It's literally free, and it stalls in a few seconds. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this podcast. I'd never recommend something I don't use. Get Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash scathing. That's joinhoney.com slash scathing that's join honey.com slash scathing all right heath i gotta say 29th no it's june 29th is the day so close i can cut that bit yeah june 29th and that one and in gi disorders news tonight the fbi raided three branches of a georgia-based church called

the house of prayer christian church or hopcc and while the fbi hasn't yet commented on the purposes of the raid early speculation ties the raid to the fact that the hopcc is a demonic fucking cult that specifically targets veterans so they can fraudulently bilk the government of GI Bill funds. Allegedly. One way or the other, they're using taxpayer funds to pay for a seminary school tuition, and that seems like fraudulently bilking the government of GI

Bill funds, even if you're not lying about the qualifications of your teachers and lying about when and where classes are being taught and charging veterans a higher tuition rate and telling VA inspectors that students were in class when they were actually doing unpaid chores for the church. Well, actually, chores that they paid to do because they were paid tuition. Fuck. Which the H.O.P.C.C. was doing.

Allegedly. Allegedly. Right. You know what? I'm going to go ahead and take a gamble on this one and say definitely guilty, not allegedly. Like I know the FBI, they're full of radical atheists who just love to raid churches on a whim here in America. They hate Christianity. Right. But this feels like a strong bet. Like it's not liable if I'm right. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm right.

And don't worry, Heath, if they're found innocent and they sue us, I will dress up as Lieutenant Dan for the trial. So we'll make it fun. It's either way. It's not going to be fun. So, yeah, this cult is actually based out of Hinesville, Georgia, which is about an hour down the road from me. It's so close, in fact, that I occasionally see the do you need help escaping HOPCC banners that their former victims place. And let's be clear, because like some atheists just call all religious assemblies cults, and I feel like there's some justification

for that. It's a matter of degree, not kind. But I reserve that term for the thing that the rest of the world means when they say cult. You know, the level of religion where ex-members feel the need to start hotlines to help people escape. And by that definition, HOPCC is very much

a cult. There's a website, in fact, where former members share pretty damning testimony about their treatment by the church's leadership and kudos to them for picking a stupid fucking enemy. That website is HOPCC.com. Oh. And the website for the cult is HOPCConfire.com. Yes yeah so they know about.com they do just didn't get their own.com hey dave when you were buying it you made sure that our thing didn't read like con fire yeah but it doesn't have the word con right in it does it yeah yeah honestly if nothing else has given

you hope over the last few years we are much better at buying domain names than the bad guys. Yeah, right. Sounds like an IPA brand that has a church or something. Right. Anyway, so a couple of years ago, a veterans advocacy group called Veterans Education Success sent a letter to the VA asking them to take a look at some deceptive and possibly fraudulent activities of the group, a group which, by the way, took in almost three quarters of a million dollars in GI Bill funding in 2018 alone. And in an almost certainly related follow up, the FBI raided three of their affiliated churches early Thursday morning, two in Georgia and one in Texas.

The raid started almost concurrently. So clearly they were trying to keep church 1 from tipping off Church 2, etc. And it's worth noting that all three churches were located really fucking close to military bases. Huh. And that is not an accident. Mm-mm. Anyway, I'm sure we'll have more on this story in the near future. And in Paxton Hicks news.

Fantastic. If you thought the concurring opinion in Dobbs from Clarence Thomas that mentioned revisiting the idea of sodomy laws was just some blustery posturing about horrible bigot stuff that's not actually going to happen, you are obviously not Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton. Nope. He has always been in favor of making gay sex illegal. Very literally his whole career. He actively supported sending people to jail for having consensual sex if it wasn't properly heterosex like he learned in fucking church. And Paxton was recently asked about challenging the Supreme Court ruling in Lawrence v. Texas again. That's the ruling that struck down the existing sodomy law in Texas at that time.

That time was 2003, by the way. 2003. Until then, they had a sodomy law in Texas on the books. And in response to that question about challenging Lawrence, Paxton said yes, he would defend another state sodomy ban that would lead to a Supreme Court review of the Lawrence case. Okay, so I'm not endorsing his point of view, but you can see how the concept of an asshole being penetrated might be kind of threatening if you yourself are an asshole. Sure. So, I know his motivation. Yeah, especially if he's been reading my emails

okay so here's the exchange we got between a reporter and ken paxton this is so fucking insane the initial question was would you as attorney general be comfortable defending a law that once again outlawed sodomy in response paxton he started with some bullshit preamble like hoping to sound vague great question oh sure like that questions like that then he said quote the supreme court has stepped into issues that i don't think there was any constitutional provision dealing with they were legislative issues and this is one of those issues and there may be more what and then the reporter was like hey man you never really stopped doing that bullshit vague preamble thing that was all bullshit vague preamble let's try again and okay

this is the exact words from the reporter quote just for the sake of time here if the state passed the exact same law that lawrence overturned on sodomy you wouldn't have any problem then defending that and taking that case back to the supreme court and paxton said yeah my job is to defend the state law and i'll continue doing that yeah okay look there's one right answer to what kind of sex are you willing to let other consenting adults have with one another and that's not it nope that is very much not it's only one answer to that no it's because of his loyalty to the law he's like it's like judge dread except he should get his dick blown off and uh that exchange ended with the reporter clarifying one final time asking okay would you support the texas legislature in reenacting a sodomy ban and bringing back that test to the Supreme Court? And that's when Paxton tried to be vague again.

And he said, I don't know. I'd have to look at it. I don't know. But just to be that's wrong and horrible. But just to be clear, there's no mystery. He knows he doesn't have to look at shit. He knows he doesn't have to look at shit. Paxton was literally one of the people who signed an amicus brief in 2003,

asking the court to uphold the Texas sodomy ban in the Lawrence case. That brief made the argument that the state has a rational basis for a sodomy ban because sodomy bans are necessary for, quote, public health and to, quote, discourage sexual activity outside of marriage that amicus brief also mentioned that the state law was quote one part of a larger network of laws designed to further the legitimate state interest of promoting traditional marriage of one man and one woman end quote okay okay so wait the argument is without the homophobic laws, how would we prop up our homophobic views? Yup.

Exactly. I mean, it's not great, but at least it's consistent. Sure. And I'm just, I'm just baffled that the dude was like, Oh,

do I believe what I've written on the record as having believed? Maybe society is good. This is working out great where I get to do this this is good now we just smoke bombs it's all working out you're just standing there in a smoke cloud now that you may okay yeah so at this point you might be thinking all right but what if ken paxton modified his position over the last 19 years and he got woke that is not what i was thinking yeah well okay good yeah anybody who was stop thinking that of course not of fucking course not i'll just give you a few examples in 2015 he wrote an opinion telling local officials in texas that they could do the

same thing as kim davis and refused to provide marriage licenses to same-sex couples in 2019 he tried to defend chick-fil-, claiming they were the victim of religious discrimination. He thought Chick-fil-A was victimized by religious discrimination. And he's the guy who wrote a legal opinion earlier this year that said parents who allow their trans kids to get gender affirming care are guilty of child abuse. And Christian bigots like Ken Paxton are in high-level positions in states all over the country. It's not just him. So that's why we need federal laws

that say things like, I don't know, all consensual adult sex is fucking legal, obviously, nobody cares what it says on parchment from 1789. Yeah, or from between 70 and 90 CE, right? Yep, none of that. Yeah, so, okay, normally at this. Right. None of that. Yeah.

So, okay. Normally at this point, I'd close out by saying something like, fuck your face, Ken Paxton. Fuck your face, Ken Paxton. Okay. Yeah. But he looks like somebody who always just recently got his face fucked on one side. Somebody fucked his face on just the one side. So, good job whoever keeps doing that.

That's awesome. Keep doing the one side. I feel like that. Don that's awesome keep doing the one side i feel like that don't even it out yeah i like that tilt them all the way and in oh my god i can't believe it's even more bad news news what with the united states traveling back into whenever the fuck your grandpa thinks america was great again you might have missed a shocking and heartbreaking piece of terrorism out of Norway this week, where a radical Islamist shot and killed two people outside a gay bar and injured 10 others.

Eli left space for a joke here in the notes. Do you have maybe a pun, perhaps? Islamist, more like Islamist. Pass. No. What? That's fair. Just tell the story.

Oh, sure. Now, I should point out that Norwegian police are still determining the motive of the gunman. Maybe a 42-year-old guy from Iran who was known to Norwegian police security services since 2015 shot at people outside of Oslo's biggest gay club because he hates door charges. We don't want to rush into any conclusions. Okay. That guy with the clipboard is a liar every time it doesn't even say anything on the paper you know it's just blank paper and

he's at the front he's got a clipboard for no reason now but to be fair to the norwegian police security services though not everybody keeps their mass shooting aftermath checklist as dusted off as america's yeah that's fair so whatever the reason the suspect opened fire at the line outside of the club just after 1 a.m and as a result norway had to cut short their annual 10 day pride festival out of concern for safety including what was supposed to be their first pride parade since 2019 and all of that is now gone because some religious asshole couldn't talk to his invisible friend about how much he wants to fuck dudes or whatever right and and because all the other religious assholes

played along with the delusion that got him there yeah and look i point this story out for a couple of reasons the first is we have a couple of listeners in norway who wrote to us and said like hey this is not getting any attention i know it's for obvious reasons, but it's religious and it sucks. But it's also a pretty terrifying reminder that we all need right now that nowhere is safe from religious extremism. OK, not the bluest of states or one of the most secular and progressive countries in the world. Right. Hate does not know borders and Christianity by no means has a monopoly. no borders and christianity by no means has a monopoly and in libel thumper news tonight in a week set to be historically associated with terrifying news coming out of the nation's highest court there's one nugget of terror that may have easily slipped by you and that came in the form of clarence thomas's unhinged rant in defense of a homophobic church that was suing the splc

for pointing out they were a hate group. The rant came in the form of the lone dissent to the court's refusal to take up a case challenging the 1964 New York Times versus Sullivan ruling. This is the landmark case that protects media companies by setting a standard of actual malice in cases of libel brought against them. And it's basically the ruling that makes the scathing atheist a thing that can exist. And it's basically the ruling that makes the scathing atheist a thing that can exist. And, of course, its removal would be a significant step towards the return of blasphemy laws. And just for a little extra context, Clarence Thomas, the only black member of the Supreme Court, wants to overturn a landmark ruling in favor of the New York Times after they published an ad made by supporters of Martin Luther King Jr. Yep.

Instead, Clarence Thomas thinks the ruling should have gone in favor of L.B. Sullivan, the police commissioner of Montgomery, Alabama, in 1960, who tried to sue the Times because that ad got a few irrelevant details wrong, like which protest songs were being sung at the thing. Jesus. Clarence, Clarence, Neil Gorsuch doesn't actually know a witch who can turn you into a white guy, man. Oh, God. He's messing with you.

He's messing with you, Clarence. So I should probably point out that there's actually been a lot of speculation that this ruling was in as much danger as Roe. Both Thomas and Gorsuch have signaled a desire to revisit it in the past, but it looks like it's going to live to fight another day at this point, despite a hard push from Coral Ridge Ministries for the legally protected right to hate gay people without

consequences. They argue that their ministry faced serious financial harm after being listed by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a hate group, and the SPLC argued that that's the fucking point yes right like you're supposed to be harmed for being a hate group and all the non-shitty people agree here as do the other five conservative justices you know i've often said over the years that like i regret that we didn't like beat thomas to creating open-ended arguments for like of our shows, but I gotta admit that this year,

I'm actually pretty glad that explaining Supreme Court decisions isn't part of my job. Yeah, it is to set. Thomas been moans the way the SPLC designation lumped Coral Ridge in with neo-Nazis and the KKK and forced them to be excluded

from the Amazon Smile program. Then he goes on to say, quote, Coral Ridge maintained that although it opposes homosexual conduct based on its religious belief, it in no sense is a hate group. No. To the contrary. And this is him quoting their unevidenced claim here, quote, has nothing but love for people who engage in homosexual conduct and, quote, has never attacked or maligned anyone on the basis of engaging in homosexual conduct. end quote, has never attacked or maligned anyone on the basis of engaging in homosexual conduct,

end both quotes. This, by the way, despite once publishing an article in their newsletter titled, Sex with Children? Homosexuals Say Yes. Oh. Their late founder, whose sermons are still broadcast on the ministry's TV channel, also promoted the work of R.J. Rushduni,

who advocates the execution of lgbtq people okay just to be clear they said yes we oppose the existence of gay people but we never tried to like lynch them or do a holocaust so you're welcome like that was their argument for them yes and claren Clarence Thomas bought it. Right. He bought it and he was like, don't worry, everyone. I know that white supremacists stop exactly at the group they hate at this particular second. I am a black man.

So, yeah, for the time being, we're still allowed to point out that hate groups are hate groups. But who knows for how long? It's also worth noting the framing of the argument. Right. Thomas went out of his way to emphasize and is to said that coral ridge was just expressing their religious beliefs and as we all know by this court standard the definition of religious liberty is christians get to do whatever the fuck they want and now they want to be able to be a hate group without consequences so it's only a matter of time before they get it and next up in headlines the pro-life majority of the supreme court guaranteed a whole bunch of

preventable death last week and they also had a big ruling about abortion but we already talked about the abortion one so now it's time for another monumental abject failure by the nation's highest court that we'd all be yelling about constantly honestly if it wasn't overshadowed by the monumental abject failure in the dobbs ruling that we already talked about and the kennedy one yeah and the kennedy one of course this third one that i'm talking about is the case of new york state rifle and pistol association v bruin in which that same 6-3 conservative majority struck down a century-old law in New York State that put some very obvious common-sense regulations on the ownership of handguns. In the course of two days, the court said that states do have the right to own every uterus in

some sense because, you know, states's rights are important hold on wait no they're not time out i'm a legal scholar who just called fucking time out during the thing dip new type new thing after the time states do have no they don't have the right to enact basic gun control now time in for the fucking first thing i'm a legal scholar yeah yeah look if your conclusion winds up as we need more concealed weapons and unwanted babies your judicial philosophy is just wrong yep right i don't need to know anything about how you got there to know at least that do we get even looked at the docket and thought to themselves like i don't know guys do we want to take away the rights of more than half the country

right after we gave them permission to carry hidden firearms wherever they like? Like, what if, you know, one of them is brave? It's brave is not the right word. What do we do if one of them's brave? Lemons. So when you think about the gun control issue, it might not seem like it's related to religion very much. Yes, the same six Christian zealots on the Supreme Court were horribly wrong on gun control too.

But you might be tempted to write that off as just a coincidence. Don't do that. Despite nothing in the Bible about gun rights and nothing in the Bible about banning abortion, both of those things are very much part of the culture for a large group of Christians in America. White evangelical Christians in particular own more guns per person than any other religious demographic that we have. And of course, gun companies are very happy to play into that. Quick reminder, the gun company that was the brand of choice for the shooter in Uvalde posted a tweet eight days before that massacre that had the image of a toddler holding

an assault rifle and a caption from Proverbs 22.6 that says, train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it. Praying hands emoji one more time. A child holding an assault rifle is the picture there. Yeah. Now, after the shooting, they updated the tweet to say, and if he gets old,

assuming he gets shit, can we get the Stakehams guys to do this one? They got in. Crisis actors. That's someone good at Stakehams. They're great at this. And we also have several other major gun manufacturing companies

that are steeped in Christianity, both in their management and their marketing. Not just that one. That includes the company called Go Fuck Yourself. No, I'm not naming any of these gun companies, but there are a bunch. I will mention some of the dumbest commentary we've had about this topic from our politicians here in america there's an obvious winner and you can probably

guess who that might be but first this is important we're going to warm it up with some lesser stupidity like stupidity yoga we don't want to pull a fucking neuron going straight to the winner there you go during a committee hearing in the u.s house earlier this month gop representative pat fallon offered up a gunless explanation for the mass shooting using guns problem according to fallon quote there's been a noticeable breakdown of the family an erosion of faith and a seismic drop in social interaction, in large measure due to the overuse of these dang smartphones. Oh, my God.

At which point he held up his phone as a visual aid so the rest of the hearing could understand what the fuck he was talking about. Oh, my God. The fucking kids these days and their dang smartphones defense that might as well be the boomer mating call i want someone to be like oh do you mean how the anonymous and unmonitored nature of the internet has allowed young men to be radicalized by the far right so that he could be like no no i actually like that part i meant candy crush right yeah it seems gay to me it's not social yeah why is a sprinkle ball a good thing think about it we also got a confusing suggestion from former nfl player and current candidate for the u.s fucking senate herschel walker and i say confusing because it sounds like he's an early AI chatbot before it became sentient.

In what he says right here, he said, quote, What about getting a department that can look at young men that's looking at women that looking at social media? Question mark. He's leading in the polls over Warnock, guys. It's not by much, but he's leading in the fucking polls. in the polls over Warnock, guys. It's not by much, but he's leading in the fucking polls. Yikes. Yeah. The guy who said that sentence and also said that

his multiple personality disorder makes him like Jesus is leading in the polls in Georgia. And that brings us to the winner and still reigning champion of stupid Marjorie Taylor Greene. Yep. Also one of Georgia's. during a meeting for the house

rules committee she said i think children should be trained with firearms i think that's very important and then she went into a rant about abortion and said we're talking about kids being killed abortion kills innocent children they can't protect themselves at all and that's when democrat jamie raskin said well it sounds like you want to arm them okay so so clearly a joke about arming a fetus right obviously but in response mtg said in full seriousness watch the video she's so serious she. She said, that's impossible. That's impossible, Mr. Raskin. That's impossible.

Which means she's considered it before, right? She's been down that road. She's already thought about it. It's a good idea in theory, but their little arm buds couldn't pull the trigger. They don't have fingers yet. Yeah, and I know what you're thinking. Arm bud triggers.

My team has been working on this for months, Mr. Raskin. I'm an elected representative for the U.S. government. What did we get? Like a bump stock in there? No, no, no. Baby bump stock. Okay. Oh, yeah.

I beat me to it. By the way, fast brain. If you're in a red state and you want to terminate a pregnancy, it's going to be much easier from a legal standpoint to buy a gun and have it surgically implanted into your uterus to arm your fetus with a little bump stock and then have a gun accident. That will be easier for you legally. Yeah. Fuck. And in gift of gab news, a police department actually managed to stop a right wing bigot before he did a mass shooting this week. And can I just pause for a minute and say, awesome job, everybody.

There's a first time for everything. Good for them. All it took was for the attempted shooter to spend weeks up to his arrest, very explicitly saying that he was going to kill gay people and those cops swooped right in a couple weeks later they nailed it cool so they're probably gonna raid all the churches and synagogues and mosques like in the next couple days for doing the same thing for centuries and announcing that they're gonna kill the apis is that what's gonna happen honestly you give them an excuse to raid the mosques, they might just take it. That's the daily struggle meme of their bigotry. Yeah, so I won't

poison your ears when any of the garbage this bigot spewed out onto his gab account for his sheepskin business. What? Yeah, side note, weird to use your business profile for your terrorism announcements, but I will point out that hemet meta raised something that not a lot of the mainstream media has picked up on

namely that this dude's hate didn't just come out of nowhere rather he was repeating often word for word the hateful instruction he was receiving in his church specifically the new independent fundamentalist baptist or new ifb churches that so often appear in our headline segment yeah no i can actually find those segments by running a search for called for the execution of gay people i sure can like every week yep in fact mr silence of the lambskins rhetoric sounds exactly like that of his pastor aaron thompson of sure foundation baptist church in vancouver washington who said on video that teachers who teach quote the filth of sodomy

should be quote shot in the back of the head end quote by a government official and then went on to clarify that if any christians act on this quote they didn't get that idea from me end quote on this quote they didn't get that idea from me end quote except yes one literally did yep and it was only with extreme and incredible luck that someone stepped in before sheepskin condom actually hurt someone yeah absolutely and if you want a mental picture of this guy just google um recessive lumberjack and you'll get a pretty good idea even if he doesn't personally pop up yep it's right there and look the point is for far too long this country has treated the pulpit like the confessional or client lawyer confidentiality and it's not right hate speech is not protected speech even when you're delivering a message from your invisible friend it is well it shouldn't be, at least.

No. So, given the Supreme Court, stay tuned for Pastor Aaron to start delivering his sermons from the 50-yard line any day now. Yeah. I think he might have just accidentally quoted Thomas' concurrence in the Kennedy decision. I hate when I do that. And on that note, I guess

we're going to close the headlines off for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Jumanji. And we will come back. David Eichel be close the headlines off for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Jumanji. And we will come back. David Eichel be here. Cause once you invite him in once you just can't get rid of him. Hey, podcast lister.

I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heath Henrik. And I'm no illusions reminding you that this Saturday night, July 9th, we'll be having our patron-only live stream from 7 to 10 p.m. We'll be answering questions, playing games, there'll be juggling, magic, and so much more. But that's not all. This year, we

hired a real camera crew with lights and sound, so you'll be able to see us and hear us better than ever. It's totally free for the patrons of any of our podcasts. Plus, I'm going to see just how many Rubik's cubes I can fit into my rectum. Wait, what? No, no, no, I'm not.

No, Eli messed with the teleprompter again. He said I was going to put Rubik's cubes in my rectum. Once again, that's July 9th at 7 p.m. Eastern Time. Fun games and Heath fitting Rubik's cubes up his ass. Guess how many he can fit up there and you could win great prizes. No, no, you cannot. You cannot. It's just the games and the fun and stuff. Not that part. I'm going to say

three. Okay, well, I can do way more than three, obviously. I thought you weren't doing it at all. I'm not. I'm not doing it. I'm just saying as a matter of obviously I could do more than three. I could. If I want. But could you solve it? Both.

Maybe one of them. A lot of people don't know that guano contains powerful decomposing microbes which help control soil-borne diseases and harmful nematodes and which serve as ideal compost activators. Which is my way of counterbalancing the bad name we're going to be giving to batshit as we break down another chapter of David Icke's Everything You Need to Know But Have Never Been Told in a segment that we call Everything You Need to Know. So this is chapter seven. It's called Mind Control and Shapeshifting Royals, and it opens on a Steinbeck quote,

right? You are one of the rare people who can separate your observations from your preconceptions you see what is where most people see what they expect so that's a quote from east of eden it basically boils down to boy you sure aren't david ike he might as well add thank you john steinbeck you are talking to me yes okay but that's literally the sentence before the quote starts you are talking that me yes okay but that's literally the sentence before the quote starts you are talking that moment in the book it's a chinese guy telling a white guy how amazingly not racist the white guy is chinese guy says that's why i'm talking to you you're one of the rare people who's not a bigot so david ike just said, that's me. I'm the best white guy.

That's definitely what he's going for there. Yeah. Yeah. So then he introduces the chapters pre him devolving into an anti-Semitic ramp subject, which is mind control. Two sentences in, he's like,

oh, also the whole satanic panic was really onto something. They were really on. Had some good points. I feel like a guy who does mushrooms to talk to the anti-Semitic angels in the seventh dimension shouldn't be psyched about witch hunts. It's a crazy world we're living in, you know? Yeah. So he tells us about the experiences of Arizona Wilder, former abused mind-controlled person.

Yeah, all Arizona's story is missing is a New York Times feature about how it was Pornhub all along. Okay, don't devolve into the anti-Semitic rant yet. You got this, David. She was a beautiful Aryan woman, genetically perfect. Yes. Like, that's exactly what happens here. Yes. Blonde hair, blue-eyed people are the reptilians' his words, preferred

genetic type. I'm saying you're better at resisting mind control. It's a compliment. Right, yeah. I like a shiksa. What can I say? I'm at resisting mind control it's a compliment right yeah i like a shiksa what can i say i'm a lizard and since it's a chapter on mind control obviously within the first page we're talking about mk ultra the real purposes of which by the way we're making hillary's victims forget what she did to them and also later ripping off the manchurian candidate by the way I finished typing that sentence and the next sentence in the book is like,

I did not steal this from Manchurian candidate. Manchurian candidate stole this from me. Right away? It does. Stop checking IMDB for when things came out. That's a hippo violation. You're violating my hippo. Here's the thing. Now I feel like David Icke is being mind controlled

by the Jewish lizard aliens. Like if I was a Jewish lizard alien running a giant world conspiracy, the perfect cover would be this exact book. No, that's. Yeah, that lays it out in detail. You just tell the biggest thing. You're like, hey, you remember Cookie Guy who choked on TV? Let's tell him all the universal truths. They'll be buried for another

right yeah i'm i'm a god almost we yeah we're getting that guy absolutely but okay all right all right you jest but why would famous people take pictures with butterflies if they weren't hinting around about the mind-controlled sex slaves provided to them by Project Monarch, like the butterfly. It's weird that the mind control didn't cover no hinting around about your mind-controlled sex slaves. Because you'd think that'd be one of the first things

they'd mention, right? It's like, no, don't talk about Fight Club. Yeah, well, and this is in addition to apparently the all-seeing eye, right? There's a figure here with the actual caption, the number of times you see celebrities covering one eye and publicity shots is ridiculously high dot dot dot unless okay period he tells us to google that and he says the one eye thing is a reference to the cult of the all-seeing eye that's behind his whole thing but it turns out the real powerful cult i did some more research on this it's the cult of the all-seeing eye that's behind his whole thing. But it turns out the real powerful cult,

I did some more research on this, it's the cult of the all-seeing two eyes. I did so many shots of famous people with two eyes you can see in the shot. I feel like David Icke is hiding something. Right? Yeah, a whole eye. Yeah, and he's just super casually,

he's like, oh, also, by the way, Hitler didn't die at the end of World War II. Anyway, moving on. Yes. Yes. Right past that. David Icke writes this book like he just sat down next to you on a bus that you were going to get off way before your stop. Right.

He's very itchy. His writing is itchy. Yeah. And also he claims that NASA is the anglicized version of Nazi. Also, he claims that NASA is the anglicized version of Nazi. Okay, which is the Germanified version of the Italian National Socialist, whatever. Yeah. And at this point, he's like, speaking of which, the Jews started all the wars. Seriously, exact sentence, the hidden hand, Jewish, Lutheran aliens, covertly created both world wars by controlling all sides.

Yeah. And then he's like, they inflict unspeakable horrors on children. Unspeakable. Now, let me speak about them in great detail. And they're such silly. And then they take the kids and they turn their butts inside out. Yeah, right. They make them love a puppy and then they kill the puppy yeah oh god so i have to put this sentence

out too it's so so fucking bad he says quote the memories that flood in are photographic because of how trauma focuses the mind end quote what i'm sorry that's just that is an impressive level of wrong there jesus cool so that means that those photographic memories probably hold up to scrutiny when it comes to like time concurrent photographs and corroborating ever sorry what's that oh i'm a satan jew got it okay i'm a satan jew okay and then from there he directly steals the winter soldier activation code words thing like where the sentence that and he explains that he once sat in with a therapist in london who is showing off the code word thing on a patient who was mind controlled just like the winter soldier one of the code words makes you have

a shape-shifted face so you wouldn't want to split them up there in my mind like saul he's allowed to just sit in with therapists when they have a patient clearly don't mind the gentleman in the turquoise suit i've kept the cookies in the waiting room sorry it just really catches the eye it's all turquoise he's choking okay but but if you don't believe him just search bill clinton mind control treason on youtube and just feel the truth roll over you guys okay i did that by the way it brings you to part 27 in a youtube series by a different crazy person that isn't david ike at this point this book's like a schizophrenic arg all right so then he tries to sell us a book by Kathy O'Brien, former blonde-haired,

blue-eyed, mind-controlled person. She was Gerald Ford's mind-controlled sex slave via the Jesuits. Oh, via the Jesuits. Okay. I was about to ask a question. Go ahead. She was also satanically abused by George Bush Sr., Dick Cheney, Ronald Reagan, and Hillary. Yeah. Kathy,

are you just Googling famous people to include on your list of satanic abusers in front of us? I can see you Googling, Kathy. I like that the Clintons, it was Bill and Hillary, according to those. I like that the Clintons were the first couple to fuck the Manchurian candidates as a couple.

I think that's endearing, right? You'd love to see it. They seem happy together. Now, of course, the lizard shapeshifters eventually took Kathy on a trans-dimensional tour, as they are wont to do. Yeah, it's weird. They're also wont to explain all the details of their secret conspiracy like an overconfident bad guy in a movie that's dipping Kathy in a slow-moving device. And then they just let her go, I guess, and they forgot to use the mind control to make her not tell David Icke the whole story. Right.

Yep. Or to make David Icke tell the whole story in this book. Well, and then we tie all of this into the British royal family, obviously. Of course, sure. We learn that even at the ripe old age of 102, the queen mother could still stab the shit out of a child's sacrifice.

She never lost her form right up to the end. Now I'm picturing that they have to give her one of those electric turkey carvers and they only get it out for child sacrifices now. Right, yeah. Battery's dead every time. It's been two years. And of course, Prince Charles is also fond of turning into a reptile and devouring the flesh of babies. Yep. This is all from the flesh of babies. Yep. This is all from the account of Arizona Wilder. You mentioned before.

And David tells us to look up his interview with her. But apparently you can't find it with Google. So he has to be like, you should Google. Oh, no. Okay. You got to go to David Ike dot com and use the search facility thing that i built there and you might be able to find my inner make sure you type this in exactly caps sensitive apparently to the royal family fights over who gets to suck out the baby's last breath

which could scale it conjures up some pretty gruesome gaw moments in my imagination. Chris Rock doing a bit about who gets the big piece of children. Okay, this part didn't add up for me. We're supposed to believe that the royal family, they'd turn into lizards and they'd start squabbling about the good parts of the baby

right in front of the sex slaves. That's gauche. They wouldn't do that. So gauche. And of course we learned that Vlad the Impaler, also a shape-shifting lizard, he goes, Vlad the Impaler is related to Prince Charles and George Bush,

one of them for realsies even. And also we learned here that the royal family doesn't die so much as Bud. Yeah. I mean, look, that does explain the physical appearances for sure but i'm skeptical i'm still skeptical okay so you remember how cartman grew a clone of a shakey's restaurant by collecting fetuses and then doing stem cells yeah obviously that's not how it works

in real life unless of course you're cold-blooded like a reptile so that's how the royals live for so long they just smush stem cells to the old parts and then grow new clones of course yeah yeah obviously he also says here he's like and i knew jimmy seville was a pedophile way before it was public knowledge i get points for that one and i'm like dude you've literally accused every famous person ever of being a pedophile you're bound to hit now and again right but then i looked it up and he actually never did publicly accuse the bill that was like that was one like somehow i gave david ike too much credit in that note yeah which is actually super impressive given as you said that he literally accuses every famous person of being a pet it's an

impressive miss yeah it's a broken. It's an impressive miss. Yeah, honestly. It's a broken clock. It's about to be right. And then it moves right past the actual. Yeah, it falls down or whatever. Gravity drags down the minute hand. But of course, just as I was wondering if maybe I should be questioning his veracity,

he points out that if he wasn't right, why would there be so many dragon statues in London if they weren't secretly lizards? And I was like, why? Why would there be if they London if they weren't secretly lizards. And I was like, why would there be if they were? David Icke, what's the normal amount of dragon statues in your head? What would you have not reacted to number-wise for that? Where's all the monkeys? Yeah, right. Exactly. Also, we learn here that apparently the reptilian demigods, they're manipulating the fabric of reality with the holograms and whatever.

But they still haven't figured out how to shapeshift without getting like two feet taller than the human form. Yeah. Seems like that would fuck you up real often. Yeah. So, yeah. And then he starts talking about longevity and he's like, you know, they're secretly lizard aliens. Why else would rich people live so long so often? Obviously, it's by devouring the blood and essences of the young.

Blood and essences of the young, of course. Themselves. Right. And then he realizes this doesn't add up. He's like, but you might be asking yourself why a hologram would age at all since I said they were holograms earlier. And the answer to that is, right?

That's so weird. Also, why would they age in a way that constantly lets us catch them turning into a lizard on youtube another great question am i writing my book let go let go of my book release me and of course at this point you're probably wondering how is this the fault of the jews but fear not because the book's next heading is the rothschild connection oh oh i know the connection yeah right right exactly he does this whole bit about how he done seen a rothschild once he's like i talked to a guy who claimed to be a rothschild offspring once i'm like i bet i bet i can guess what kind of accent he used yeah he called him deep sukkot oh nice nice other throat so yeah we learned that rothschilds aren't

born so much as made in sperm factories yeah okay so you know how lots of people at the top of their field are not from the rothschild family that's actually because they're all secretly from the rothschild family yeah the sperm factory that's how he explains everybody else in government right yeah according to fucking bubba rothschild or whatever the last non-reptilian president was dwight eisenhower and i just i love how that like the one warning about the military industrial complex has gone so far with conspiracy theorists. He's one of them, damn it. Okay, regardless, how would you know that somebody's not a holographic lizard alien

Jewish conspiracy? Great question. I'm sorry, I can't get past the image of Eisenhower walking the next guy around being like, would you like a peanut M&M? No, you got a capri sun of baby blood. Okay, well, let me show you the patio. This drawer kind of sticks if you don't hit the side of the casket yeah that was kennedy by the way he goes he's talking about

al gore and he's like yes he had dissolves baby and acid to stay younger for it or whatever also perpetuates global warming which is a fucking myth so if you needed another reason to hate him who how does that help the lizard aliens they're cold-blooded yeah they need the they want to get out on a rock but that would be like that would mean that would mean it was real though the myth is it's even worse now yep wait sorry holograms it's on the temperature that the holograms prefer. Shut up, budding. Yeah. I'm pretty sure at this point, too, he says that Christianity is also satanic. Yeah, he does.

And the story from fucking Bubba Rothschild, it gets so sad here. He says, all my siblings and my cousins and all the other Rothschilds, they got seeded into government and academia and business hollywood and i was um praying focus guy focus the prayer on me i was like a rock of prayer and even david ike got bored with this point so the guy immediately ramped up the line he was like antichrist i'm the antichrist yeah clear it's awesome write that down pick your pen back up most reliable witnesses and their testimony with an obvious psychotic break he oh and he tells us all about how pope john paul i was murdered for trying to expunge the vatican secret freemasons i only point this out because this is the point where he uses the word freemasonically in his book. The adverb. There are great moments in this book, and one

of them is you can just taste the moment where David Icke was sitting in his office just going Freemasonly? Freemasonish? Of the Freemason. It'll come to me. And also he does this big long list of, you know, a lot of these people don't even know

that they're part of the conspiracy but alan greenspan does he was he's a very do you he was very um but he's funny he's a funny guy he's an occult power broker from new york yeah exactly okay so apparently the lizard aliens with all the money in the world they control everything they really needed a fed chair in the united states to help them out by controlling the fake ponzi scheme that doesn't do anything according to everybody who believes in this conspiracy right in their story yeah and also but some other guy once allegedly claimed to agree with david ike right before dying so that nobody could check and see if he really did.

And that's pretty damn definitive. Yep. They also, he points out, this is so weird. He points out that they have reptilian high school students. And I just, I feel like that's his excuse for getting into a fist fight with a 14-year-old that called him a loony. Right? And losing, by the way.

He was like, oh, lizard lizard karate he had lizard karate someone take my underwear off my head and then davey asks us if we've ever really looked at all that spooky stuff going on on a dollar bill in a subchapter titled satanic money this is where we learn that even if you're not born into the bloodline you can appease the bloodline with gifts of gold they really like gold you gold i mean he's not wrong patreon.com forward slash skating apes everybody i'm just saying he's saying sometimes he gets us sometimes he gets a hedge against inflation then he introduces the testimony of ranting idiot reynold bernard who's been onto this satanic bloodline that controls banking for quite some time okay so

i looked up reynolds youtube by the way and he looks like donald james parker trying to play a younger version of himself in a fast and the furious movie it's fucking incredible yeah so bernard was all about being evil but couldn't quite bring himself to sacrifice a baby to satan yeah this story is such a bad lie according to this guy bernard he became the top rank banker in the world at which point the lizards were like wow you, you're fucking amazing. But you're so good at banking. You should be part of our Jewish hologram conspiracy. And he was like, that's a weird sentence. I'm in.

But eventually they were like, dude, nice work. You're banking the fuck out of this. You got to eat this baby now. And then he had to give up that life. That's the story. It's just not worth it anymore. Yeah. Also, I have to point this out too.

Every chapter, the name of the bad guy seems to get a little bit longer. So we're seven chapters in and now they're the archontic reptilian gray demon serving the demiurge self-aware distortion.

End real quote. That's a tough bracelet to sell. Right. So yeah, quick before it expands again, I guess we're going to close the book for now but we'll have to open it up again for next month's installment of everything you need to know

I was so sure that was going to be like spelling out Zionism right exactly I was just checking all the statistics. Probably not. Before we lower the portcullis this week, I want to remind you that tickets are already on sale for QED in Manchester, England

on October 29th and 30th. Heath, Eli, and I are going to be there recording a live GAM episode. They just announced a bunch of new speakers and it's always an amazingly well put together conference. Be sure to check the show notes for links to pick up your tickets. Anyway, that's all the blast movie we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in

10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister's host, Hot Friend God Awful Movies, debuting at 7 p.m. Eastern on Tuesday, and an even newer episode of our half-sister's host, I Taste Indeity, debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, this episode wouldn't fit in the box, right? I'd like to thank Heath Enright for always going above because he's tall,

Eli for always going beyond because he's weird, and Lucinda for always going all in because she's just like that. I need to thank Andrew, Thomas, and Marsh for flying across countries and or oceans to come hang out with us. Reminder, if you're a patron, look for a link in your email

to hang out with us on Saturday night. I also want to thank Moe for providing this week's alliterative Farnsworth quote. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's most dashing diploids whose names I don't know yet because I'm recording this outro early, but I'll be sure to give them an over-the-top compliment by name

next week, and if you'd like to join them and get in on that patron-only livestream thing, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingatheist, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com. And if you'd like to help, but money is wrong to you in ways that you're not yet ready episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at skatingatheist.com. And if you'd like to help, but money has wronged you in ways that you're not yet ready to forgive,

you can also help a ton by leaving us a five-star review. Tell a good friend about the show or following at P-I-A-T-5 on Twitter. Legal services for this podcast are provided by the law offices of P. Andrew Torres, Tim Robertson, and also social media, and our audio engineer, Artis Martin-Clark, who also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you can find all the contact info on the contact page at skatingadeus.com. Okay, but what are we even going to put where the outtake normally goes then?

The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and the Thunderstorm LLC. Copyright 2022. All rights reserved.