The Scathing Atheist - 494: Married a Weirdo Edition

Episode Date: August 4, 2022

In this week’s episode, Matt Gaetz loses a Twitter fight by more than a million dollars, Liberty Counsel lobbies against marriage equality and child brides and Matt Gaetz was very conflicted, and Don Ford, voice of fantasy and adventure, won’t be elsewhere. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Guest Links: Find out more about Regina here: http://www.reginacalabrese.com/ --- Headlines: The op-ed from the diatribe: https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/msnbc-opinion/new-style-atheism-can-counter-christian-nationalism-decline-religion-n1297611 Chicago hospital pays $10 million+ in settlement to employees over religious objections to vaccine mandate: https://www.ashepostandtimes.com/news/national/first-settlement-reached-for-health-care-workers-in-lawsuit-filed-over-covid-19-vaccine-mandate/article_61872401-fdc1-596e-8664-354a62ef0343.html Victorian crossbench MP launches bid to compel religious hospitals to provide abortions: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-08-01/victorian-abortion-religious-hospital-bill-fiona-patten/101287512 Liberty Counsel invokes ‘child brides’ to derail gay marriage bill: https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/liberty-counsel-is-invoking-child-brides-to-derail-a-gay-marriage-bill/ Oglala Sioux tribe expels Christian missionary for spreading ‘hate speech’ https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/oglala-sioux-tribe-expels-christian-missionary-for-spreading-hate-speech/ Jason Rapert ordered to hand over documents in case re: blocking atheists on Twitter: https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/jason-rapert-lawmaker-who-blocked-atheists-on-twitter-must-hand-over-documents/ Matt Gaetz tried to insult a teenager’s body and she turned it into over a million dollars: https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/07/matt-gaetz-tried-insult-teenagers-body-turned-million-dollars/ --- This Week in Misogyny: Kansas overwhelmingly votes to protect abortion access: https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/08/02/kansas-abortion-referendum/ Georgia residents can now claim fetuses as dependents on state taxes: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/georgia-embryos-claim-as-dependents-on-tax-returns/

Warning, this week's episode contains verbs. Sorry, I just warn you about the profanity every week and I feel like all the other word types get left out. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by MySheetsRock, ZipRecruiter, and by 7am Eastern Time on Thursdays. 7am Eastern Time on Thursdays. Everything about it other than new scathing episodes sucks. And now, The Scathing Atheist. Hi, I'm Regina Calabresi. And as your cool gay aunt who studies cults and serial killers as a creepy obsessive hobby, I can assure you that we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey people. It's Thursday.

It's August 4th. And Jason Rayburt can't block this podcast. No illusions. I'm Eli Bos this podcast. I have no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heath Enright. And from Grover, Cleveland, New Jersey, Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Waycross, Georgia, this is The Scathing Atheist. On this week's episode, Matt Gaetz loses a Twitter fight by more than a million dollars. Liberty Council lobbies against marriage equality and child brides, and Matt Gaetz was very conflicted.

And Don Ford, voice of fantasy and adventure, won't be elsewhere. Sorry, there's only so many ways you can say we'll be here. But first, the diatribe. So I'm talking to a friend of mine who works for one of the big national atheist organizations a little while back. And among their many jobs is coordinating with local groups to make sure that they've got funding and publicity and an online presence, etc. groups to make sure that they've got funding and publicity and an online presence, etc. And she tells me that one of the biggest problems they face is like a people's front of Judeo problem where you've always got eight little groups that should be one large group, but they get caught up on leadership squabbles and minor differences in their goals. So you end up with this weird patchwork of like semi-autonomous groups duplicating the

hell out of each other's efforts and competing for members. Now, to be clear, this doesn't happen for malicious reasons. It's generally not a case of Zeno's schisms like with Christianity, where disagreements keep tearing groups asunder. Rather, it's that when atheists come home all fired up from a convention or they finish a book that boils their blood and makes them want to get involved, our tendency is to say, I should start a group rather than I should see if there's a nearby group that I can join. I see this constantly. I'll get emails from people saying, hey, I'm in such and such an area and I want to start an atheist meetup group.

Can you help? And I'll be like, yeah, man, there's a group that's been meeting in your area for eight years. And I found them by Googling atheist meetups in. And as a guy who saw an ad on a bus decided to get active and set about creating the world's 953rd atheist podcast i i don't know that i'm in a position to fault anybody for it it might just be in our nature it could be the inevitable outcome of a bunch of loners trying to create communities but there is a point where you have to lay the blame squarely on the shoulders of the individual. It's one thing to think,

I should start an atheist community instead of I should join an atheist community. It's a whole other kind of mistake to think I should start the very concept of atheist community, which is exactly what we saw from one Zeeshan Aleem in an MSNBC op-ed this week. Now, I don't want to go too hard on the guy. He's obviously an ally, and his piece makes some very good points, but it does so from a place of such wanton ignorance that it kind of has to be called out. His point seems to be that you personally don't exist, so I kind of have to come to your defense here. The central question in the op-ed is, why aren't there any atheist communities that get together to do charity work? And even if you set aside online communities like ours, I know six of those groups in northern Florida alone. The op-ed in question is called Why America Needs a New Kind of Atheism Right Now.

So naturally, you can assume that Aleem did quite a bit of research on what kinds of atheism there currently are, right? I mean, he couldn't possibly just base his entire article on the personal anecdotes he has about what the atheism movement was like a dozen years ago. There's no way that he'd get all the way to print without speaking to a single leader of a single atheist group or even apparently Googling the term atheist group. Well, yep, he did exactly that. And MSNBC ran with it, apparently. And to be honest, I wouldn't mind going through this thing sentence by sentence because he manages to get it wrong in a number of important directions. To be fair, again, he gets it right in a lot of directions, too. And the overall message that atheism needs to be fair, again, he gets it right in a lot of directions too. And the overall message that atheism needs to be more inclusive

is always a welcome critique. And despite their anemic relevance to the larger atheist movement today, we're still close enough in time to the hero worship of Dawkins, Hitchens, and Harris for us to be fairly saddled with criticisms of their messages and messaging. But to say that rejecting their vitriol

represents a new kind of atheism is silly. The whole term new atheist was coined to distinguish from the old atheism that just politely explained our worldview. Now, to be fair to Waleem's point, though, he's asking for more than just a return to the days of the unobtrusive atheist. He's also asking for more focus on community building and charity work. He calls his idea communitarian atheism and hopes it can counter the trend of civic disengagement that he ties to the loss of religious communities. Now, let's be super clear about what a huge fucking leap that is.

Yes, people are less and less likely to be religious, and yes, people are less and less likely to belong to groups or to be active in their local communities, but Aleem assumes that the former caused the latter. And I mean, that's possible to some degree i guess but but it's far more accurate to say that the rise of the internet caused both i mean even religious people are less likely to belong to religious communities than they used to

be right and and and people may be less likely to belong to community groups locally but they're more likely to belong to online communities obviously and well that fucking sucks if what you want is a group that gets together and runs a soup kitchen downtown on saturday it could be a goddamn lifesaver if what you want is a group that's accepting of your gender identity while you're living in a small religious town it's also kind of bullshit to lay this responsibility at the feet of atheists too why is this our job especially right now when we're clearly in the crosshairs of the supreme court our rights haven't been under this much threat since the fucking 50s but in between defending them you want us to create and operate community groups too i mean i'm not saying

they've got it great or anything but it's hard to imagine a liberal columnist arguing that anti abortion groups should spend more time organizing community potlucks. And again, we are doing all the shit that he's saying we should do, but that doesn't mean it was our job. The fact that government money gets funneled to faith groups under the guise of community programs, the fact that religious-based groups elbow out secular charities by drawing from a broader national donor base, the fact that religious charities often refuse the help of secular ones,

all of those things combined to make it harder on the non-religious community group than the religious one. The fact that any atheist groups persevere through all of that is downright Herculean, but apparently it's not enough for Z. Shanaleem. Look, this is a message we're all used to in the atheist community.

Every few months, somebody will see an argument between an apologist and like at Dick in Christ's stigmata on Twitter or something and say, well, gee, why must all of atheism be so rude? And then they're going to like deign to enlighten us on the proper way to promote our beliefs and chastise us for not reining in at Dick in Christ stigmata sooner. They'll say we should have an atheist community that focuses on building up the atheist worldview instead of tearing down the religious one and think that they're the first to suggest it.

But of course, we were already there. We were already doing that. What's more, the groups that were already doing that often predate the ones that weren't. Right. They just didn't get any media attention because atheists do good for the sake of good doesn't fit into the media narrative the way that those atheists need to stop being so mean does. I mean, I'm not saying they don't deserve more attention. I'm just saying they're not going to get it by being nice. And as evidence of my claim, I submit the fact that despite a lot of these groups being around for decades,

clearly Aleem has only heard about the scathing ones. They're talking about you, Jesus. I interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are the mall invader to my city is Heath Enright and Eli Bosnick. Fellas, are you ready to get our Sith together? Okay, we do an atheist podcast. It's all

Sith posting. I don't know, Heath. If I know my abstinent powerful religious orders with implied diplomatic immunity, Yoda was fucking some kids. Okay, yeah. Yeah, well, I'll tell you what. Those are the kind of lead-ins our sponsors love the most. So on that note, we're going to pause for a word from

this week's first sponsor, MySheetsRock. Yes, yes. Thank you, Officer Heath. Come on. I want to see the evidence locker. Hey, guys. Thanks for bailing me out. Dude, what were you thinking breaking into that indoor parachute place? Okay, and was this a

sex thing no and i have a bet about whether it was a sex thing was it no no actually not a sex thing damn i'm just a warm sleeper nice and i figured if i could sleep on top of that giant fan thingy i would stay cool but then my blanket got caught in the fan and there was the fire we know about the fire but eli if you're a warm sleeper, why not just try the regulator sheets from MySheetsRock? What are the regulator sheets from MySheetsRock? MySheetsRock created the regulator

sheets and they're designed specifically to keep hot sleepers cool and cold sleepers comfortable. They regulate temperature, wick moisture, stay breathable, and they're so soft, you'll sleep comfortably every night. That's because they're made soft, you'll sleep comfortably every night. That's because they're made from a best-in-class bamboo rayon, the holy grail of sheeting.

This miracle material transfers body heat two times more effectively than regular sheets and reduces humidity by 50%, so you can experience your best night's sleep yet. It's true.

MySheetsRock sent us a set to try, and I've never slept better. I even ended up buying an extra set. Me too. I don't know, guys. What if I don't believe you? Don't believe me? Their five-star customer reviews speak for themselves.

Plus, they offer a 90-day risk-free trial and free shipping and returns. Check out MySheetsRock at MySheetsRock.com slash scathing and enter our code scathing for 10% off and free shipping. That's MySheetsRock.com slash scathing, code SCATHING. All right. Well, thanks for the bail, guys. And you'll stay away from the parachute place? I mean, I'm still going back to rub that material on my face, but yeah.

See, I knew it was a sex thing. 20 bucks. That's not fair. Everything's a sex thing with him. It's true. It is. Why don't you take the bet, then? And now, back to the headlines.

In our lead story tonight, the North Shore University Health System in Chicago has agreed to pay out more than $10 million to settle a class action lawsuit over their system's vaccine mandate. Essentially, they're being punished for not accepting I don't wanna as a valid reason to remain unvaccinated while working in a hospital. Because they didn't wanna, you know, religiously. Sure. They're paying an eight-figure penalty for infringing on their employees' religious liberty to spread a goddamn plague, despite the fact that a grand total of zero of those employees had ever expressed a religious objection to vaccination before, which is exactly the same number who belong to religions that had ever expressed objections to vaccines before.

Okay, it feels like every patient in that hospital system would have sincerely held being alive as grounds to sue if the hospital just let religious people spread the plague. And so if you can get sued for both A and not a religion was involved with with this nonsense. So, yeah. So the lawsuit comes to us from Liberty Council, one of the nation's foremost drivers of both theocracy and preventable covid deaths. When North Shore Health System responded to a flood of sudden religious conversions on vaccine use with come the fuck on you work in a goddamn hospital liberty council sent a letter demanding that the company make exceptions to anybody who could say sincerely held belief three times fast when north shore refused they filed a

class action lawsuit on behalf of employees whose requests were denied whether they were fired or ultimately relented and took the vaccine quote under duress end quote what and perhaps realizing that american courts are about 15 minutes shy of swapping out robes for chargeables north shore agreed to pay 10 million 337 500 in damages sorry under duress yes that just means there was a rule yeah like every day i do not murder brett kavanaugh under duress yes that just means there was a rule yeah like every day i do not murder brett kavanaugh under duress that's nothing that's nonsense or or is it you might be on to something heathleton i feel a plan to anything now this settlement hasn't been approved by the courts yet and the total payouts are going to depend on how many eligible plaintiffs file claims by

whatever deadline the court says but to give you an idea of how widespread this sudden religious conversion against vaccines was, if everybody eligible files a claim, the people who are fired will get about $25,000 each, and the people who got vaccinated despite the tears of baby Jesus will get about $3,000. That's divvying up $10 million. Well, not quite 10, because of course, all of that pales in comparison with the payday of the case's big winner. That would be Liberty Council. They're going to take away 20% of that settlement or $2,067,500 for attorney's costs.

So, you know, we get more disease, more plague spreading loopholes, higher health costs, and an opportunistic hate group gets a huge fucking check. And i think that's a pretty fair summary of both this story and the state of american courts in general yeah on the plus side those plaintiffs will be in the public record which means that i can then visit the hospital with a big printout and my sincerely held allergy to not punching plague spreading idiots in the face. So it's all going to work itself out in payroll, everybody.

The church of punching them in the face. Yeah. Did we establish that yet? I really do feel, I feel it so much more than these people feel Christianity. I sincerely hold the shit out of it. You sincerely hold it way more sincere than their objection to vaccination at the very least. Yes. Exactly.

Thank you. I am under duress. way more sincere than their objection to vaccination at the very least yes exactly thank you i'm under duress and in vega might not be a baby news if you've been listening to this show for a while you know that one of the least known and most dangerous forms of international theocracy comes in the form of religious hospitals these institutions masquerading as charities or just normal fucking hospitals have been known to brutally overcharge patients, refuse care to people who are too gay for their liking, and object to all forms of birth control and abortion, regardless of the health consequences. Well, this week, Australian crossbench member of parliament Fiona Patton is looking to compel taxpayer-funded religious hospitals

to provide abortions contraceptive treatment and end-of-life options or lose their right to taxpayer funding yeah make them do all the medicine of course they should do that like if i walked into a hospital with a broken arm and they were like sorry no we only we only do leg stuff here at this hospital at that point i should be allowed to break some legs, right? That's insane. Now is it leg day, assholes? I know as an American, I'm in no position to talk here, but taxpayer-funded religious acts just shouldn't exist at all.

Yeah. But if it does exist, it absolutely can't have a religious exemption to axing. Mm-mm. Nope. Kind of definitionally ridiculous so miss patton used mercy health as an example of just how rampant and widespread this problem is saying quote the mercy hospital which is one of the largest obstetric hospitals in victoria is a publicly funded hospital they refuse to provide contraception they refuse to provide contraception. They refuse to provide abortions when patients need them. And this is just not right.

End quote. When asked for comment, the hospital referred press to its website, which states that it refuses women's health and end of life care because they believe it violates the Hippocratic oath, saying, quote, We aim to do no harm to relieve pain to provide compassionate care for the whole person and to never abandon those in our care not adding unless they're a lady dying of an ectopic pregnancy yes right yeah they'll make some exceptions and i also i want to be clear here because the only thing more cited and less read than the fucking hippocratic oath is the goddamn bible the term do not harm doesn't appear in the fucking Hippocratic Oath is the goddamn Bible.

The term do not harm doesn't appear in the fucking Hippocratic Oath. Sure doesn't. First or otherwise, unless you're talking about the actual old school Hippocrates. But like that includes a pledge to honor Asclepius and Apollo. So I feel like you're not using that one. I'm sorry. Have you guys burned no olive oil to Apollo? Right. So, yeah, no, no word yet on how successful this bill will be other mps opinions have ranged from but we already have

super liberal abortion laws to i kid you not one mp saying that it seemed ungrateful based on how hard the doctors and nurses worked during COVID. So I'm not optimistic. Yeah. But the fact that this issue is being raised in a public forum, that the government is having to confront or at the very least acknowledge this problem, that is something to celebrate. At this point, we'll take what we can get. Yeah.

Exactly. Yeah. And in welcome to Thunderdoma News, we have a follow up on the Respect for Marriage Act, which recently passed in the U.S. House and would guarantee that a same sex married couple who travels to a bigot state doesn't technically become unmarried at the border crossing because that would be fucking insane. Of course, this would persecute Christian people into letting same-sex couples use a word in their state. So, Anna? What are the guys talking about? It's the newest, the greatest Christian freakout.

That's right. Evangelical Christians are having a meltdown. And that means we heard from Matt Staver of the attorney-themed hate group and somehow also a church liberty council and he's trying to mobilize the troops to get the bill voted down in the senate his main argument too many child brides fucking child matt matt it does not matter how many lawsuits you file or how many settlements you win you're always going to feel incomplete until you add a second fucking T to your name. Okay? There's a way to spell that fucking name and M-A-T is not it.

I feel like the origins of his name are a lost spelling bee and a hint of the rest of his life. Maybe it's Matthew. I don't know. I'm going to call him mate from now on. So yeah, marriage equality is going to cause child brides.

According to Matt Staver, I'm guessing you have some questions. I do have like maybe what, or maybe you're wondering, isn't the existence of legal child brides mostly because of fucking religion? Yep. Yes, it is.

Well, here's the announcement from Matt Staver, mate Staver that he sent to all his followers last week hopefully he'll clear up those questions for you quote california's child bride laws take the handcuffs off pedophiles and put them on victims of child sexual abuse you cleared up on the confusion yet no no no No, I'll continue. Now a measure in the U.S. Senate seeks to force California's child marriage laws on the rest of the country. Please help us save the tens of thousands of little girls married off to adult men right here in America. Help us stop the Respect for Marriage Act by faxing the U.S. Senate today.

It would allow one state to dictate marriage policy for the entire nation end quote yeah now notice he's not trying to stop the laws that make that legal no right that make child brides legal that's been around his entire fucking career never said a fucking thing about it but now all of a sudden he's he's all in on it and those are all religious based yes also matt buddy you know that your email just lost you a non-zero part of your email list, right? Feels like that should tell you a lot about what side you're on. Yeah. Also, really terrifying side note here.

The majority of U.S. states allow marriage under age 18. Yeah. In Alaska and North Carolina, it's legal at 14. Yikes. In California, on the other hand, the law says you have to be 18, but you can get an exemption with a parental waiver. So the specific mention of California by Matt Staver is nonsense. And he's just using it because the word California is scary to religious people in flyover states.

Right. Yes. Also worth noting, if the bill said, instead of what it does say, if it said every state has to recognize all adult over 18 marriage matt staver would still be doing a bigotry fax-a-thon for sure yep i well i mean if the bill said nothing but loser does a bigotry fax-a-thon all smooshed together he'd still be doing a bigotry fax-a-thon but yes but but you raise a valid point regardless what what i'm doing a bigger what you guys stop laughing what one other thing and this is very important who the fuck uses a fax machine right

that might be the dumbest part of his email blast and just for the record the email has a button labeled send my fax now but that does not send a fax now it's a link that takes you to a payment center where you have to pay 65 to liberty council and they'll use that money to send one fax for you oh jesus okay but heath have you been to one of those weird shipping stores to send a fax lately those prices are about right yeah i think all right well you gotta pay for the coal to power the thing at this point yeah it's a weird store full of empty boxes computer you can rent in the corner kind of sad in there yeah so before we wrap up the story there's a bit of good news to report believe it or not according to senator tammy baldwin of wisconsin a democrat a vote on the respect for

marriage act is likely to happen next month and she already has 10 republican senators ready to back that bill which would be enough to push it past the filibuster so as long as you know republican senators aren't liars it sounds like there's really good news here yeah we'll see how it goes yeah yeah and quick while we hold our, we're going to take a quick break for our second sponsor this week. Hey, podcast listeners, I'm Noah Lusions. And I'm Heath Enright, here to tell you about our brand new sponsor, Manscaped Water. Wait, I'm sorry, what kind of water? M-m-m-manscaped!

God damn it! That's right, knuckle fuckers! Manscaped Man is back, and he's got a liquid treat to quench your manliest thirst. Manscaped water comes in 110% recyclable aluminum cans and is the only water harvested directly from man. Okay, that first thing about the percent is impossible. Not if you have a time machine it isn't. We steal aluminum from the past and recycle it for our cans, meaning there's less wasted while you get shwasted.

I'm sorry. I thought it was water. It is. Man water. Taste some. That's vodka. Potato tomato. These cans don't have an open.

Do you have to use a can opener on them? Hell yeah, you do. Get 4% off your first order of man water at manscaped.greensheff forward slash blue apron code scathing. That's manscaped.greensheff forward slash blue apron code scathing. That can't be real. Man water. The old ones are not dead. They merely slumber. I really hate when manscaped man shows me too man he's the worst me too a man wrote the bible a horse which one if it's a legitimate race cooking can be fun hey i'm proud of a man this week in massage okay i'll admit that sometimes i have to really stretch to bring you any good news on this segment.

Like just last week, I said, hey, good news, guys, and then proceeded to tell you about a judge in Kentucky that temporarily blocked a law that would forbid abortions from ejaculation on, even in cases of rape and incest. And before you could utter the phrase, well, at least it's blocked, I had to admit that wasn't going to last long. The point is that when I say we've got good news, you have every right to be suspicious. And when I say that it's out of Kansas, you'd be crazy not to. But I legitimately do. And yes, at the core of this good news story is an effort to ban abortion in the state. an effort to ban abortion in the state, but it's about how that effort failed in a manner so spectacular that Republican strategists could build Trump's wall entirely from the bricks that they just shit out. The referendum in question would have stripped away abortion protections

that were written into the Kansas state constitution. And not only did Kansas voters say no, but they overwhelmingly said no. The no votes won the day by damn near 18 points. And this isn't just good news for Kansas's uterus. It's good news for the whole damn country. I mean, we're talking about an off-year election and a referendum that's being held during the primaries. We're talking about a state that went for Trump by 20 points. We're talking about a state that hasn't voted for a Democratic president since Lyndon fucking Johnson. And the vote wasn't even close. And while the no votes were concentrated on the major population centers in every single county in the state, the no votes on that referendum were significantly higher than the Trump votes in 2020.

In other words, everywhere in Kansas, people moved left than the Trump votes in 2020. In other words, everywhere in Kansas, people moved left for the sake of this vote. Now, I don't want to start counting unhatched chickens just yet, but this could be huge news. See, before the Dobbs decision, Republicans had kind of a perfect thing going with abortion. It was an issue that motivated the hell out of their base without motivating our side much at all it's not that we didn't care about it it's just that we didn't fear their ability to do anything about it so every year their candidates could say we're going to protect unborn babies and drive their voters to the poll without inspiring all that many democrats to vote against them but it only really works as an issue as long as you never get what you want. The majority of Americans agree with the pro-choice side on this argument, and it's not particularly close.

What's more, it's something we're every bit as passionate about as the other side is. We just rarely had to demonstrate that passion before. Of course, it remains to be seen how this is going to translate to midterm voting, but I think the Kansas number sort of raised the bar on how good it could realistically be for our side. And if nothing else, it made for a whole hell of a lot of new work for every Republican campaign manager in a location more liberal than Muskogee. But as good as that news is, I need to bring us back to the reality of how bad the environment it's playing out in is. And for that, we need to go no further than my home state,

Georgia. And one of history's stupidest retroactive attempts at logical consistency, the Georgia Department of Revenue released new tax rules that will allow people to write embryos off as dependents on their state taxes. Specifically, as of July 20th, they would recognize, quote, any unborn child with a detectable human heartbeat, end quote, as eligible for dependent exemption. Now, this is some silly shit, granted, and it seems like it would be super easy to abuse. But rather than providing the veil of consistency they're hoping for, I feel like all they've done is highlighted just how stupid it is to pretend embryos are human beings. has highlighted just how stupid it is to pretend embryos are human beings. Its enforcement is also kind of terrifying,

since it seems like you'd need a healthcare surveillance state to determine who is and isn't eligible for it, especially given the upwards of 1 in 10 pregnancies end in miscarriage. So, yeah. To summarize, we've got good news out of Kansas, but it doesn't mean you get to stop being terrified. summarize, we've got good news out of Kansas, but it doesn't mean you get to stop being terrified. And with that reminder, I'll hand things back over to Noah, Heath, and Eli. Thank you, Lucinda. And in Whatcha Gonna Sue news, the Oglala Sioux tribe has officially blocked Christian missionaries from coming onto Pine Ridge Indian Reserve in South Dakota,

unless they can first prove they aren't giant assholes who hand out pamphlets directly attacking residents gods like a rap battle after they expelled a missionary this week from the area for being a giant asshole who handed out pamphlets directly attacking the residents god like a rap battle yeah okay i know you're joking but if missionaries had to rap battle with you when you argue with them, the world's a better place. That's just like a common sense law right there that we should have, right? I like it. So wait, I just I want to clarify for the audience, because basically what you just said is that the Sioux aren't going to let any Christian missionaries onto their reservation until they can prove that they're not Christian missionaries, right?

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Okay. christian missionaries right yeah pretty much yeah okay now i have to admit i'm just glad whenever christian missionaries are kicked out of anywhere right old country buffet the roller rink i'm in favor of all of it for sure the reason i wanted to talk about this story this week is i've seen a lot of wacky missionary shit on this show but these pamphlets that these people had are up there in terms of pure unadulterated bat shittery the first words on the front of the pamphlet are quote jesus hebrew not white yikes true god greater in shiny gold bold font than tunka sila demon idol exclamation point end quote followed by not about race

underlined but truth underlined and okay i'm gonna make a bold claim here anyone who ever says this isn't about race it's about truth it's about race yeah yeah and that person is just about to pull out a human skull and show you the truth about the dimples that's what's about to happen yeah yeah no as soon as a white person starts telling you how racist they are you should probably just go ahead and kick them out of that old country buffet that or the roller rink you roll them out it's kind of fun looking yeah so the mission's website elaborates on their problems with tuncasila by the way saying quote, Jesus judges righteously. Tuncasila doesn't.

Jesus sets people free from sin. Tuncasila doesn't. Jesus has the power to raise the dead. What power has Tuncasila demonstrated? Crickets. What? I just, cut to Tuncasila holding a handful of sand. Huh?

Pocket sand. Yeah. So the pamphlet then goes on to pitch a weird Christian lie about three prominent native leaders being Christian. That's not true. And then asks, quote, what helped lead to the Wounded Knee Massacre? What the fuck?

Spoiler alert about that, by the way, it's Native Americans not not being christian enough in their opinion help us help you not get genocided so bad because your religion's wrong what the by us by us yes exactly jesus christ yeah one last thing about this story we know that we have many listeners with a talent nay a passion for graphic design and even though we here at the scathing atheist know that toon casilla isn't real we believe in equal pamphlet representation that's important that's important if any of our listeners feel the same way please make a pro toon casilla anti-jesus pamphlet that we can send a big box of to this ministry and drop around their

neighborhood we have a stamps.com account and i will spend an ungodly amount of money on this prank where people yeah help me make it happen like a tunka sila amount of money absolutely there are some things that you can't believe when eli says them this is not one of those things yeah and in block cock news tonight jason raypert's having a shitty week and that should be enough to put a smile on your face right there now we've talked about raypert a number of times on this show before but he's spectacularly forgettable so just to review he's the arkansas state senator that got a 10 commandments monument erected outside the state capital back in 2018 and then just fell dick first into his own

stupidity every couple of months so we'd have some reason to talk about him periodically he's also the head of the national association of christian lawmakers which still hasn't figured out why chemists snicker at their stationary salt and more relevant to this story he's the guy that american atheists had to sue back in 2018 for blocking atheists on Twitter. That's a lawsuit that's still ongoing. Well, we learned on Thursday that it's not ongoing great for Raper, who was just ordered to turn over a fuck ton of potentially incriminating social media information. Okay, I bet we learn a new slur word for atheists. I'm looking forward to

it honestly yeah i'm not saying every christian bigot we talk about turns out to be a pedophile and a rapist but i would put super good money down that the discovery is not gonna find twitter crime right well it might find both so yeah to be clear you can block any damn buddy you want on twitter and the courts are not going to get involved unless of course you represent those people in goddamn congress in which case you kind of have to let them see what you're up to so when rayford decided to respond to social media criticism from atheists with a ban hammer american atheists got involved and sued on their behalf as part of the the discovery process, AA asked for, among other

things, details about all his social media accounts since 2014, active or deleted, and all the times he's blocked people on those accounts. Also, any mentions on any of those accounts that he's made of atheism, Project Blitz, or the term Christian Nation. Now, Rayburn argues that the request was overbroad, but since the entire case is about him blocking atheists on social media because he's a christian nationalist the judge argued on thursday that no the fuck it wasn't and it's yeah kind of really her argument that counts here yeah he's probably being super super defensive because he has nothing to hide that's usually yeah there's probably no dick pics in there at all. Yeah. Yeah. If you have to say,

oh, what? So now I have to tell you about all my Twitter accounts? You're a lot of things, but innocent isn't one of them. I wonder if it's just because he doesn't want people to figure out how many of his likes

come from other hymns, right? Oh, so many, Jason. He's just slipping into his own DMs. Yeah. Now, I should point out that Raper doesn't actually face any punishment for this he was granted qualified immunity from any financial penalty up front and he gave up his seat in the state senate to fail pathetically in the republican primary for lieutenant governor

this year so he's out of office in january regardless so like in the unlikely event that the case wraps up in the next couple of months he may have to officially unblock a few atheists on Twitter only to re-block them in January of 2023. But given that this case is already four years old and we're still at discovery, I don't even think that is likely to happen. What we will get, however, is a judicial reminder that occasionally freedom from religion works against the Christian Nationalists, too, And possibly a peek at Jason Rayford's Tinder profile. Oh, you know it. And finally tonight, Matt Gaetz is a sad pile of failure and forehead and evil. And he added to the failure part last week in delightful fashion. He got in a Twitter fight about abortion laws with a 19-year-old queer teen activist named Olivia Giuliana,

mocking her physical appearance. But then, Giuliana turned the whole thing into a fundraiser that collected over $1.4 million to support reproductive rights. Right in his stupid fucking square face. I love this. The Christian right has now forced me

to have like an official least favorite pedophile see my least favorite pedophile still muhammad i like the classic approach to right no i didn't say he was it i just i like i have to rank them now it's so rank the pedophiles a weird thing they set up for you there can we do that while you're on vacation but well so that's the worst thing is that i have to have a second least favorite pedophile right that's the problem so tim allen this whole thing i feel like that's a real good guess it's not out of the question puzzled with thunderstorm has no official opinion on whether or not tim allen is a pedophile but we have an official suspicion

he's not funny that's our official opinion on comedy okay yeah no fair so the whole thing started with gates giving us that's not funny man that's just a noise that's nothing that's nothing so the whole thing started with gates giving a speech at the turning point usa student action summit in tampa florida it's a hate group does christian bullshit during his remarks he said quote why is it that the women with the least likelihood of getting pregnant are the ones most worried about having abortions nobody wants to impregnate you if you look like a thumb end quote which is both stupid and extra stupid because matt gates could not look more like a fucking thumb might have a giant thumbnail over it to protect his eight bit pixel of a fucking face

also like it's a terrible analogy i would absolutely fuck a thumb this is not theoretical it's confusing that's true okay like quick side note the other side celebrated the removal of bodily autonomy with a tight 10 on no uggos no fatties we don't ever have to hear about like discourse or politeness or decorum again right ever i don't have to do that anymore the beige suits we're done absolutely not thank you yes so olivia juliana heard about his comments and tweeted about how he's a piece of shit and a very literal accused pedophile and that's when a sitting member of u.s congress decided to have a twitter fight with a 19 year old person yeah which is weird because you know she's a bit old for him to be flirting like that

along the way i'm pretty sure she made a similar comment which was amazing so gates responded by tweeting a profile picture of juliana and wrote dander raised yeah you probably have no idea what that's about it's an amazing callback to a comment from the right-wing site newsmax maybe you've heard of it it said that the speech from gates at that stupid summit thing was sure to, quote, raise the dander of his political opponents. And then he nailed that fucking callback. Oh, so I assume they had just misspelled daughter. So sorry. Jesus Christ.

It's to raise the dander of his political opponents. Well, just wait till you hear how I'd love to ruffle the feathers of everyone who works at Newsmax and their families. So from there, dig a big hole. From there, Giuliana did some beautiful jujitsu and started the fundraiser. She tweeted back, in honor of Matt Gaetz publicly body shaming me, I'll be fundraising for the Gen Z for Choice Abortion Fund. And she included a link. And within 72 hours, she raised $1 million. Jesus.

In celebration, she tweeted, how's that for dander raised? Get wrecked. And the fundraiser was up to $1.4 million within a week. When she hit that number, she tweeted, Matt Gates cyber bullied to his 1.4 million dollars within a week when she hit that number she tweeted matt gates cyber bullied to his 1.4 million followers we've now raised 1.4 million dollars for abortion funds so just great work by olivia julia oh so good yeah i mean yeah i don't want to nitpick insults went in the wrong direction for a truly great fundraiser really good fundraiser the insults go in the other direction but yeah no good greatiser, really good fundraiser. The insults go in the other direction, but yeah, no good.

Great job, Olivia. Great job. Okay. And I'm just want to throw this out there for $1.4 million for vulgarity for charity. I'll dance naked on Matt Gates's front lawn while he pelts me with pee filled water balloons.

I'll take one for the team here. All right. One other thing here. This is how the numbers work out the cost of an abortion is about 500 which means at the end of the day matt gates killed 2800 fetuses anakin's got nothing okay i'm not making any specific calls to action here but it is accurate to say that at matt gates on twitter personally murdered 2800 babies and i'm guessing he'd love to know that we're all very proud of him for that. Oh, yeah, you know, that's G-A-E-T-Z, in case you've forgotten.

And with your homework duly assigned, we're going to wrap up the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. At M-A-T-T, G-A-E-T-Z. And when we come back, we'll welcome the most dangerous Ford since Oregon Trail. Sorting through candidates to find the right person for your job can be a real drag. I refuse to attach my resume because I plead the fifth. Yikes. And doing it when you could otherwise be enjoying your summer is even worse. Okay, kids, daddy needs you to stop splashing because I'm trying to figure out

who in this stack of resumes has project management experience. Okay, guys? That's why you need ZipRecruiter to find great candidates. They do the work for you. And now you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash scathing. ZipRecruiter uses its powerful technology to find and match the right candidates up with your job. You can easily review these recommended candidates and invite your top choices to apply. That's why four out of five employers

who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. So soak up all that summer has to offer and let ZipRecruiter do the work. Ready for that URL? It's ZipRecruiter.com slash scathing. That's where you can try it for free. Again, that's ZipRecruiter.com slash S-C-A-T-H-I-N-G. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Okay, guys. Volleyball is fun, but who wants to sort resumes by work experience in the field, huh? Doesn't that sound better?

No? Okay. What? I'm just saying. They do everything else for him. Drew does not fuck the minions. Absolutely not. Okay, are minions even capable of sex? Okay.

Well, see, I actually have a theory about this. I really wish you didn't have a theory about it. Also, Don Ford, when did you get here? Oh, like 20 minutes ago. Eli kept me locked up in the garage for a little bit. It's true. I did. It was like an escape room.

It's like 100 degrees in there. A hot escape room then, Don. Hey, guys. Guys, are you ready for Bible Peace Theater? Oh, the part of the show where we act out the Bible so people can see how ridiculous it really is? Sure. Real quick, though.

Do you think Gru fucks the minions? Of course he fucks the minions. They do everything else for him. Thank you. Come on. Okay. So, where were we? The book of Nehemiah.

All right. And what happens? Okay, well, it starts with Nehemiah sort of summing up the last couple books of the Bible for us. You know, the temple was destroyed. God promises to punish the Jews and he did yada, yada, yada. Oh, that's nice of him. Right, right. But so he's the king's cupbearer. The king of Israel? No, the king of Shushan. Who and where is that? It very much doesn't matter, but he's the king of Shishan's cupbearer. Anyway, one day,

the king notices his cupbearer is acting a little bummed. Servant, bring me my cup. Here you go, sire. Thank you. Hey, servant, you're bearing my cup all, like, sad and stuff. Everything okay?

Yeah, well, it's just that Jerusalem is all burnt to shit oh sorry to hear that buddy anything i could do i mean is there any chance i could have a few days off to go try to rebuild the city of course you can can. Of course you can. You know what? I'll even write some letters to some local governors and get you some wood for that. Oh, wow. Thank you, sir. Yeah, no problem.

Kind of a bummer when biblical monarchs have a better vacation policy than the American workplace, right? I was just thinking that, sir. Right, so Nehemiah heads to Israel, passing by a dragon well on the way. And when he gets there... Sorry, sorry, a dragon well? Yeah, it's a well that a dragon either lives in or haunts. Depends on who you ask. Actually, creationist writer Derek Isaac says it was a dinosaur that lived in the region. Or even at some point lives inside the well itself.

Ah, I see. You wouldn't want to sound silly. Right. No, exactly. It was a dinosaur. So Nehemiah gets to Jerusalem and begins to build his wall. Nehemiah, what are you doing there, man? Oh, I'm rebuilding the wall of jerusalem um is the king okay with you

doing that yes it just it feels like it's gonna take a while yeah yeah well you guys don't have to help or anything and when it's finished you assholes can't come in or make money or bury your children here. Okay. That's a weird response to criticism. Yes, I felt a little extreme. You are. You're extreme. Has anyone seen my bucket? Not now, Stegosaurus. Okay, okay. Everyone, thank you for coming.

Just a real quick dispersal of duties here. Um, uh, priests, you'll be building the Sheep Gate. Got it! Uh, the Sons of Hassanah, you're gonna build the Fish Gate. Sorry, the what? Tachyloid nobles. You guys kind of half-assed it, so just for the record, we all know. Oh, come on. Seriously? You're not going to put that in the Bible, are you?

Oh, I'm totally putting it in the Bible. Sorry, is nobody going to clarify what a fish gate is? Jehoiada and Meshulam are going to repair the old gate. Why are the gates different ages? Okay, is it for keeping fish in the temple? Is it like a pond situation? Okay, Hanun and the inhabitants of Zahorah, you guys are going to do the valley gate. The dung gate is going to be Malchiah, and Shalom is going to do the gate of the fountain.

Okay, that feels like it should be called the fish gate, right? Is that it? But not everyone was happy about the Jews building walls. Hey, hey, Tobiah, the Persian king. Yes, son Balad, the Persian king. Did you hear that the Jews are building a wall? They're building a what? Yeah, I know.

It's super shitty. A fox could knock over their wall. Ah, fox could knock over their wall. Classic. Burn. Yeah, you want to go fuck them up? Totally. Jews, we are here to kill you for building your wall. Yeah. Oh, no, you won't. Bring it on. We sure will.

Oh, get... I'm sorry, What are you doing? I'm getting ready to fight you. What does it look like? Right, but you're still building the wall. That's right. I'm going to fight you with one hand and work with the other. Wow, it feels like you should just focus on the one thing at a time.

I can do both. I must do both. Nope, that sounds like a super toxic worth-life can do both. I must do both. Nope. That sounds like a super toxic worth-life balance, man. I gotta be honest with you. What? No, it's not. Last night I worked so hard I slept in my clothes.

That is not a good thing. Shouldn't brag. You gotta work to live, not live to work. You know what I'm saying? Oh, I can totally do both. I'm just waiting for you two to bring it on. Dude is totally gonna burn out. I'm just waiting for you two to bring it on. Dude is totally going to burn out. He's burnout waiting to happen.

Okay, and then we get a chapter about usury. Usury? Yeah, the Jews make a couple of bad corn deals, and Nehemiah yells at them for it. Got it. And then they finish the wall, so everybody comes back, and they have to do the coin flip to figure out who's a priest again. Again? It's been like two chapters since they did that.

What can I say? It's in the fucking book. So finally, Nehemiah gathers all the people around. Jews, hear me. For now, I shall read you the Torah. Wait, I thought this was the Torah. No, the Torah is just the first five books.

So, this is the New Testament? No. Where's Jesus? Isn't he in the New Testament? Did we decide if we're doing a sassy gay voice for him? No, no, no. This is still the Old Testament. It's just not the Torah, which I'm

reading to you now. It really feels weird to not the Torah, which I'm reading to you now. It really feels weird to have the Torah being read in the Old Testament. Yeah, it's like Harry Potter going to see the first movie in theaters. Yeah, no, exactly. Exactly. Look, look, look. I don't know what to tell you people. I'm going to read you the Torah for a week week and then you can all go celebrate okay uh be careful

in my experience reading the torah takes like four years longer than you think it's gonna oh yeah i've heard i've heard so everyone stands up and wears ashes and sackcloth and apologizes to god via telling the story of the bible so far like in, in unison? I don't know, man. But then they also make a list of everybody who promised not to marry non-Jews. It is decided now that the sealed here were Nehemiah, the Trishada, the son of Hacaliah, and Zedkiah, Saraiah, Azariah, Jeremiah, Pashur, Amariah. Man, that is a lot of people willing to give up mouth stuff.

Okay, you always say that. Do Jewish girls not do mouth stuff? Is that a thing? Oh, it's totally a thing. Okay, well, pin in that. Question, can we do a walk-in in Bible Peace Theater? Oh, like Christopher Walken. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to do my walk-in.

Oh, you mean like this? Oh, I always thought walking was more like this. I do them like this. Oh, fantastic. Wow. Oh, you guys, this is great. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Now I'm a vampire. I hear it. I get... Everyone having knowledge and having understanding. Wow. So then the Jews draw lots to decide who gets to stay in Jerusalem.

And the last and final family who can live in Jerusalem is Judah. Oh, come on. Really? That's the whole list? Well, now where are the rest of us supposed to live? Yeah, exactly. Um, Brooklyn? I mean, sure, eventually.

What about now, though? Is new Rochelle a thing yet? No. Oh, then I don't know what to tell you, boys. Doesn't seem fair to me. Oh, well, thank you, Stegosaurus. Thank you. Plenty of room in my well if anyone's interested.

So then the wall gets dedicated and Nehemiah does a big speech about how good he was at his job. Is it a good speech? Nah, not really. Does he say anything particularly important? Oh, definitely not. Then what does he have to say? Well, hit it, Anna!

The book of Nehemiah has a lot to say, but if you're wondering what's the takeaway? Is it putting our walls up or sitting in our stalls appraising why we're so blessed? Cause we are. So what can we do to please this vengeful god he only wants one thing and it might sound odd but before you react he's gonna need a

contract it might not be what you guessed don't marry a weirdo don't marry a weirdo it's not as easy as you might hear though Cause they're harder to spot than you'd think Don't marry a weirdo Yup, that's the contract he wants us all to sign So running if she mentions her Fortnite squad Don't listen to her lecture on the SoraPod If you're at a party and suddenly she's darting After the family's cat, that's a red flag.

If you play Mario Kart and she got first. If she has an opinion on weather, haunt shot first. God is a safeguard, so walk away unscarred. You can do better than that. Don't marry a weirdo. Don't marry a weirdo. She could probably brew her own beer though Yum

Just remember that it's still a sin To marry a weirdo If she's trailblazing, paraphrasing, keats Hyperfixating on the deets of a Viking feast Or dray sick beasts Please just make your exit if she ever mentions Potteries of the Middle East or parakeets? Yes, did you know that they're endangered in the wild?

The pet trade has done a fucking number on these mild-mannered birds. We got a habit of sabotaging their habitats. And fun fact, Melopsitakis undulacus talks right back. A parakeet holds the world record for largest vocabulary of any bird. I don't know what that was, forget that anyway Don't listen to her if she has anything to say Proceed with apprehension If there's ever mention of a magic convention Or any new invention

I have to be clear though Don't marry a weirdo That's what this book is about Don't marry a weirdo. That's what this book is about. Don't marry a weirdo. Don't marry a weirdo. Yep, that's what the contract says. Because we don't like weirdos in this religion, really. Don't marry a weirdo.

And divorce is tempting, but it's still a sin. Don't marry a weirdo. Too bad we're not like parakeets, because they make for life. Don't marry a weirdo. You bad we're not like parakeets because they make for life. Don't marry a weirdo. You know, they're a very social animal. So if you are considering getting one, you should probably get two just so they have a companion, you know, a better quality of life and all that.

And it's not that much more work also because what's another bag of bird seed, am I right? I mean, it's not a dog. You're not going to have to go out and walk. I hate always having to be the one that talks next after an Anna song. Whatever I do, it's going to be such a big step down from what you were just listening to. But Anna, thanks again for sharing your incredible talent with us. Anyway, that's all the Blast Movie we've got for you tonight, but we're back in 10,022 minutes with more.

If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show, The Skeptic Rad Day, being at 7 a.m. Eastern time on Monday, and an even newer episode of our sister show's hot friend God awful movies day being at 7 a.m. Eastern time on Tuesday and an even newer episode of our half sister show citation day debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday obviously this episode wouldn't snap into place correctly if I neglected to thank Heath

Enright for always being a plus Eli Bosnick for never being a minus Lucinda illusions for being unequaled Anna Bosnick for being greater than and Don Ford for being squarely rooted. I also want to thank Regina Calabresi for providing this week's Farnsworth quote. Be sure to check her out on Twitter at Regina Calabresi or look for a link on the show notes for this week's episode.

But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's most honorable hominids, Jim, John, and your friendly neighborhood union lawyer, Kim, Stephen, dude, George, Jake, Adrian, James, Mary, Danny, Dave, Darth, Hail Satan, fuck, I did that wrong, Uninspired, James, and Intiminator. Jim, John, and Union Lawyer Kim and Steven, who are's ability to quicken a pulse makes Supernovae jealous. Dude, George, James, Adrian, James, Mary, and Danny, who are the Patreon donors your mama warned you about. And Dave, Darth, Hail Satan, Uninspired, James, and Intiminator,

who are so hot these August temperatures are complaining about them. Together, these 17 savory secularists supplemented our subsistence this week by giving us money. Not everybody has the sweet ninja skills it takes to give us money, but if you think you're up to the challenge, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingadeus, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode. Or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at ScathingAlias.com. And if you'd like to help, but your ninja skills aren't quite there yet, you can also help a ton

by leaving a five-star review, telling a friend about the show, and following at PIAtPod on Twitter. Legal services for this podcast are provided by the law offices of P. Andrew Torres, Tim Robertson handles our social media, and our audio engineer is Morgan Clark,

who also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at Scathingatheist.com. So I got the new TV that I ordered like five fucking years ago or whatever on amazon prime days or whatever but it's the amazon fire tv so it's got the built-in echo right and i won't say her name or your glasses will start talking to me like but and your tv will wake up and start

talking to you yeah well it's downstairs but yeah yeah so that she hears you but but at any rate so but it's kind of cool because you can just be like, you know, wake word. It's like I'm trying to avoid saying a slur. But yeah, I'll just say like, wake word, switch picture mode to movie, right? And then I don't have to go through the series of menus. You have to go to get there. Or I'll just be like, you know, wake word, turn up the volume or play such and such a movie or whatever, which is very cool because I've always got a cat on my lap

and I don't want to lean forward and disturb my cat and get my remote. But then it occurs because I grew up in the era where you still had to get up and change the channel, like walk over to the TV, change the channel and possibly readjust the the antenna you know yeah right or even like i had when i was a kid we had uh the the aerial on the house but you had to like turn it right you had a little device where you could turn the direction towards the um uh towards the broadcast or whatever so like i remember that and i remember everybody being like oh these remote controls are gonna make make everybody so lazy everybody's going to be so

lazy and fat and that was they were absolutely right but then and here I am in 2022 going like oh that's nice I don't have to lean forward to get the remote anymore like fuck man Wally nailed it every time basically

not doing that shit Nailed it. That's a sit-up every time, basically. Come on. I'm not doing that shit. What am I, Amish? No. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and the Thunderstorm, LLC. Copyright 2022. All rights reserved.