The Scathing Atheist - 509: V4C Kickoff 2022 Edition

Episode Date: November 17, 2022

In this week’s episode, Britain gets so filled with assholes that we get Marsh for a headlines segment, a Florida man tells the UK to hold his prolapsed asshole beer, and Tom and Cecil will be here to dip their toes in those charitably vulgar waters yet again. --- Vulgarity for Charity Info: To participate in Vulgarity For Charity 2022: Donate $50+ to ModestNeeds.org Screenshot a copy of the receipt as proof. Email it to [e-mail] Tell us who or what you want roasted - be sure to give us some details to work with and a photo if they aren't a famous or well-known person. Give us your name as you want it to be read out, i.e. Greg J. or "Happy Bear" You may request a specific host. 100 random roasts and the top 100 dollar value roasts will be read on-air on Scathing Atheist and Cognitive Dissonance in the coming weeks. The earlier you send in the roast the better chance it has of being selected. Deadline MIDNIGHT ET on November 24, 2022. --- Our Stuff: To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Guest Links: Check out more from Marsh on Be Reasonable and Skeptics with a K You can hear more from Tom and Cecil on Cognitive Dissonance Check out Plastered Gore’s YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7HiVBsHhmSZtrwF4am7byQ --- Headlines: Gov. Kevin Stitt "claims Oklahoma" for the Christian God: https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/gov-kevin-stitt-i-claim-oklahoma-for-the-christian-god/ MPs back abortion clinic buffer zone law: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-63302710  Women’s minister says protesters who harass women near abortion clinics may be attempting to ‘comfort’ them: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/maria-caulfield-abortion-women-minister-b2214613.html   Jesus-loving FL school board member wants to bring back corporal punishment: https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/jerry-rutherford-collier-county-school-board-corporal-punishment/ Here’s how atheist candidates fared in the 2022 elections https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/heres-how-atheist-candidates-fared-in-the-2022-elections/ Christian college ends discriminatory policy, outrage ensues: https://religionnews.com/2022/11/14/eastern-university-drops-ban-on-lgbtq-faculty/

Warning, by the time I finish this sentence, this podcast will already have started using words like fuck. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by Allbirds, HelloFresh, and by Vulgarity for Charity. You've got one more week to get your roast requests and donations in. Now quit procrastinating before we send Tom after you. And now, The Scathing Atheist. It's Thursday. It's November 17th. And it's my mom's birthday. Hi, mom. Hi, mom. Hi. Hi, he's Thursday. It's November 17th. And it's my mom's birthday. Hi, Mom.

Hi, Mom. Hi. Hi, Heath's mom. I'm no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. Eli, you want to say hi to my mom? Hi, it's Mom. I'm Heath Enright.

And from Montgomery, Burns' New Jersey, Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Waycross, Georgia, this is The Scathing Atheist. Oh, this week's episode, Britain gets so filled with assholes that we get Marsh for a headline segment. A Florida man tells the UK to hold his prolapsed asshole beer. And Tom and Cecil will be here to dip their toes in that charitably vulgar water yet again. But first, the diatribe. so i'm bragging about vulgarity for charity to one of my in-laws because i'm a fucking atheist my charity isn't bound by some covenant of humility we've raised over a million dollars for charity with this thing you bet your ass i'm gonna brag about it every chance i get and given that i'm the only out atheist that most of my in-laws know, you can bet your ass I'm going to go out of my way to get those chances. Their stereotype of atheism is cold,

pitiless, and bitter. And I don't know anything that pushes back on that harder than joyously reporting that a small group of atheists scrounged up a million dollars for needy and probably mostly religious families. But of course, there is no good deed that a dedicated Christian bigot can't shit all over. So here's the actual response. And I want to stress in advance here that this was not meant as a dig, okay? This was her honest response to learning about our fundraiser.

She says, you know, it's wonderful what you're doing for those families. But then she added, and I'm pretty sure I'm quoting here, and it's really nice that you can give those atheists a chance for their lives to have meaning. So you're welcome, you meaningless motherfuckers. Now, if you've ever met me, you may have noticed that I score a zero in terms of conversational poker face. So my expression made it super clear that I was offended by that response.

And to her credit, she tried to walk it back, but she was so oblivious that she didn't really know which direction was back from there. And she just made it worse. She says, I only mean that without God, it must be really hard to feel like you have a purpose. And she nods at me, right? Like as if to prom me, now your head does this, right? But of course, I considered arguing with her, but it was clearly a digging my way to China type situation, right? I tire myself out before I made any appreciable headway. Both tasks would require a large shovel. Like I said, because look, I can't honestly argue that atheists lives have meaning or

purpose. They don't. atheists' lives have meaning or purpose, they don't. The only argument I have to offer is the way more complex argument that neither does hers, right? Meaning is not a thing that lives can have. That's not how lives work. Asking if your life has a meaning is like asking if it has a key grip, right? Moments have meanings, actions have meanings, decisions have meanings, but to think that something as complex and long and variegated as a human life could have some kind of singular overriding meaning isn't just to misunderstand life, it's to cheapen it. See, I've always looked at the whole meaning of life thing,

the way I look at the technobabble that people make up when they're trying to sell you audio equipment. It's always, say, you need this model because it's the only one with the next generation mesh networked phase locked turbo encabulator and then along comes atheism, which isn't trying to sell you anything, having to field questions about how you're going to phase lock your encabulation without that model. Now, religious people will defend this idea to the death because it's pretty much the only thing they've got left to sell other than a fucking afterlife

that nobody really believes in anymore. They'll tell you that Jesus can give your life meaning and then they're going to hope like fuck that you don't ask exactly what that meaning is. Is your meaning to love Jesus? To resist Satan? Those both seem pretty passive, pretty mundane. My meaning is to love the thing that created me and applied that meaning to me? Or even worse, my meaning is to not do stuff? To not do stuff at the bidding of the most evil imaginable thing? Or maybe they think that their meaning is to spread the word of Christ, to bring

souls into Jesus, but then your meaning is just tell people stuff. So Christianity offers you the same level of divine purpose as being the pre-recorded lady who tells me not to leave my luggage unattended at the airport. Or maybe they say their lives, the meaning of their life is to live in service of others

or do good works or something. But I've seen the statistics. We know any Christian who truly believe that is in a lonely minority. But again, you don't need Christianity to have that kind of meaning. Right? So what the fuck are they even talking about? And it doesn't really matter because, again, lives don't have meaning. To think otherwise is to misunderstand both what lives are and what meaning is.

Living doesn't need to have a point to be worthwhile. It's enough simply to be alive. One's life having no meaning, that's not some depressing punishment you get for embracing atheism. It's an uplifting liberation you get for embracing logic. And the only thing you lose in the process is time wasted searching for something that doesn't exist. Joining me for headlines tonight are the hearts, clubs, and spades to my diamonds, Heath Enright, Eli Postick, and special guest, Michael Marshall. Fellas, what's on deck? One, no Trump. Two, no Trump.

Did you say multiple Spades, Hearts, Clubs, and Spades? Of course there's no Trump, Heath. We're playing with Spades. Oh, great. I bet I get stuck with the Hearts, you know, like the shittest of those Captain Planet kids. Oh, and by the way, so Marsh isn't a permanent addition to our headlines or anything. I just couldn't come up with any more trios for the intro. So he agreed to step in while I thought about it. But before he does, I want to remind you that time is running out to get your donation in for Vulgarity for Charity. Vulgarity for Charity is, of course, our annual fundraiser for people in danger of falling into poverty.

And if you want to be a part of it, all you have to do is go to modestneeds.org, make a donation of $50 or more, then send the receipt to vulgarityforcharity at gmail.com, along with a person, place, or thing that you would like us to roast on air. We're picking 200 roasts from the ones we get starting on this episode. Just check the show notes for all the details. And now, back to the headlines. In our lead story tonight, the state of Oklahoma finally found a religion for itself. Very exciting. It's Christianity, by the way. Don't want to spoil it.

It's Christianity. Shocking. So, Governor Kevin Stitt, he's been in office for almost four years now, and he never took any action about this because he secretly hates God. I'm pretty sure that's what's happening. Okay, granted, he had a Christian prayer service for his inauguration in 2019 and another one in 2020 to stop COVID

that aired on TV stations across the entire state, but that's nothing, so it didn't work. Then he told everyone to Christianly stop eating to deal with COVID in specifically Oklahoma. Again, no, that's nothing. That's nothing. People kept dying. Well, after getting reelected this month,

he decided to ramp it up and claim Oklahoma for Jesus Christ and God. So, dibs. Yeah. He called dibs for a God. So, wait. If claims on Oklahoma work on a dibs for a god. So wait, if we're, like, if claims on Oklahoma work on a dibs basis, there are some Native Americans

that would like a word with Mr. Stitt. Yeah. Right in the name, guys. Yeah, and hey, to take another large tract of land by calling dibs is pretty much appropriate

in my culture. Stitt needs to do some British sensitivity training. Exactly. Now, to be fair, British sensitivity training is just how long to blow on your Greg sausage roll. But, you know, it's the thought that counts. A lot of hot takes about Greg's when we're over there at QED.

Some people who love it, some people who hate it. It's a divider. It's a divider of men. It's a big divider. So those theocracy dibs happened during a speech by Kevin Stitt the day after the election. He said, quote, Father, we claim Oklahoma for you. Every square inch, we claim it for you in the name of Jesus. We know we all battle against flesh and blood, against principalities of darkness. There are principalities involved.

We loose your will over our state right now in the name of Jesus. There you have it, folks. Republicans have not updated their platform since the days of manifest destiny. See, the thing is, I've never been to Oklahoma, but is that somewhere God would want as a gift? Apparently. Because it's not one of the good states. No. Is it a bit like when your gran gets you the cheap imitation toys for Christmas?

Like, no, it's okay, gran. The GoBots are just as cool as Transformers. You're absolutely right. We have a state at home. Yeah. Yeah, God's got to turn to his mom and whisper that he wanted California, but then his mom flashes him that look, and you've got to go back to the store to return it

yeah here's another part that had me extra confused besides the uh you know god wanting oklahoma it's about the power dynamics between the governor of oklahoma and the omnipotent god of the universe it's confusing regarding that turns out it's not what i would have guessed that power dynamic continuing the same speech. Kevin Stitt went on to add quote with the authority that I have as governor and the spiritual authority and the physical authority that you give me God, I claim Oklahoma for you. You're welcome.

Okay. So it wasn't enough just to be a metaphorical bigot and theocrat. He had to try to clack clack it officially. I guess so, yeah. There was also a good deal of confusion for me about God's general political stance. Honestly, there was also some sexual confusion. See if you guys can pick it out. Huh.

Stitt added, we thank you, Father, that your will is done on Tuesday. So politically, just what God wants. That's interesting. He continued. Holding pattern. Yeah. Yeah. God's a big, moderate holding pattern guy.

Yeah. He continued. And that you'll have your way with our state. What? With our education system. With everything within the walls behind me and the rooms behind me. Okay, so I mean,

his religion is going to fuck their state government and education system, so I feel like he maybe meant it to sound exactly the way it sounded. So that's true, but when he says everything within the walls behind me, that's a phrase that's simultaneously

somehow so vague and yet so specific that it can only mean fuck dungeon. Fuck dungeon. Thank you. That's insane. Nobody said a word. Yeah. Real devil in the white city vibes going on.

Yeah. So this whole thing, it's insane and illegal, actually. Stitt would be getting death threats in Oklahoma if you switch out Christianity for any other religion in that speech. But, you know, everyone's fine with it because they worship the one he was talking about. FFRF sent a letter explaining that there's a law, but he's not going to read it. He's not a big reader. Just to recap, though, that's the God that they're talking about. They worship the god

who really wanted oklahoma but he was in a passive-aggressive couples fight with kevin stitt god could have dibbed oklahoma because you know omnipotent but it was like i want you to want me to have it i shouldn't have to ask you know no you to just, you know, know. I want you to know. That's who they're worshipping. Yep. Just sitting there at brunch with God's friends. You look like you're not having fun. I'm having a lot of fun. I love Vishnu.

And in stand 500 fetus back news, a bill creating a protest-free buffer zone outside of abortion clinics has taken a step closer to becoming law in the UK. This is the new amendment to the public order bill, and it's going to make it a criminal offense to harass, obstruct, or interfere with anyone attending an abortion clinic, and it's punishable by up to six months in jail. Oh, man. God, England's just like walking through a portal to the good universe, isn't it? They're throwing abortion protesters in jail. They're freezing their old people to death.

It's just the best. It's great. Now, the thing is, some people hear that and think it sounds like using a hammer to crack a nut. But what they've got to bear in mind is this isn't just one nut. There's a whole movement of nuts involved in this. Since the end of Roe versus Wade in the US, abortion clinic picketers in the UK have been out in force because they're sensing an opportunity to try and regress reproductive rights in the UK.

Okay, I'm picturing just very polite, understated evil chanting. Is that what's happening? Heavens no, we won't pop off. Is that one of them much? That's one of the things we hear quite a bit. They have placards with that written on specifically. But it's in like 12-fot.

You have to walk up and carefully. But it's pretty clear what their motivation is with this. Because Libra MP Stella Creasy explained that there's nobody praying outside the places you get a hip operation. And there's nobody offering rosary beads or dead fetuses outside the places you're going to go

for an ankle injury. They should. She says there's a time and a place to have that conversation, but it's not when you're dealing with vulnerable women. I mean, one might actually argue

that there's never a time or place for the here's what I think you should do with your body conversation other than, you know, like the tipping section of a cam video.

But that's me. That's me. Okay, but I'm happy to personally set up a nice event for those anti-choice people to show up all together in the same place at the same time, confined together. I don't have old movie reels. And Stella Creasy is completely right about this, because when you do go to get like a mole removed, you don't have to first run a gauntlet of people handing you pamphlets filled with lies about how many nerve endings are in your mole. That's just not a thing. That's entirely because some people see reproductive rights as a moral issue rather than just health care, basically. Yeah. So speaking as an American, I'd love it if those weren't two separate categories,

but your point stands regardless. No, that's fair. That's fair. But one of the people who are conflating those two things and seeing this as a moral issue is Maria Caulfield, MP, who was appointed the Minister for Women by Prime Minister Rishi Sunak last month. She's been in the job like a month. And she's apparently worried that if we ban abortion protests, it's going to throw the zygote out with the bathwater. Because she told BBC Politics Live, she said, for me, the definition of what's harassment is open to interpretation. That's my concern, that someone who's going up to maybe comfort somebody who's upset or distressed

could be accused of harassment and can stay six months in jail. That's crazy because I'm actually worried that I might trip over my shoelaces and be accused of tackling Maria Caulfield into a cart of dung. So we both have very real, real very logical concerns you don't have shoelaces you have velcro that's true that's way too close to nine-year-old noah trying to convince the shopkeeper that i was just trying to see if the bubblegum packs really were pocket-sized before i bought them yeah that's bad it is exactly that completely that but the thing is kaufeld is a former officer of the all-party parliamentary pro-life group, which is the anti-abortion group of MPs that I've mentioned on shows before.

And she's campaigned to lower the 24-week abortion time limit. She's claimed that babies who are born at 18 weeks, quote, grow up to live long, healthy lives like the rest of us, unquote. Do that? Which is bullshit because the youngest fetus ever to survive in the entire world was born at 21 weeks. Okay. Okay. Okay. But to be fair, Maria does look a little like a dead 18 week old fetus. So maybe, maybe the word us was doing a lot of the heavy lifting there and they live. She's got an interesting look.

She looks like a 1980s high school kid got put in a broken cryogenics machine and she somehow got older and younger at the same time in different parts of her like her face is old but the what she looks otherwise is also i mean you said she's been in a month now as the yeah well yeah so her term's almost over right that's pretty much pretty much but it genuinely might not be that much of a coincidence that someone with these views was appointed the Minister for Women, because she was appointed by Rishi Sunak, who himself has abstained on every single vote regarding abortion since he's become an MP, as have his Home Secretary, Suella Braveman, one of the top government officials, the Foreign Secretary, James Cleverley, another of the top officials, and the Equalities Minister, Kemi Badenoch. The equalities minister abstains on votes regarding abortion. And then the chancellor and the former health secretary, Jeremy Hunt, has actively been campaigning to reduce the abortion time limit down to 12 weeks.

For over a decade, he's been campaigning for that. Wow. So I just want to point out that the British nightmare scenario is twice as reasonable as Georgia, as it should be, right? Right. It's also just really hard to take your politics seriously when everyone is named like Hathwaite Quapsmobble and Sweetswam. You have a Herschel Walker.

How am I supposed to take you? We don't have Herschel Walker. God damn it. We don't have Herschel Walker. Oh yeah, shut up. Wash your mouth out with whatever you have instead of soap.

So while this new law to create a buffer zone between abortion clinics and protesters is highly welcome, it's way more important that we put a buffer zone between women's reproductive rights

and the conservative bigot politicians who want to take them away. Absolutely. But lest it be said that we were biased here at the Scathing Gates, we've actually brought in somebody

to counter Marcia's points, Irish abortion clinic lady. Irish abortion clinic lady, welcome back. Oh, it is good to be back, you know, illusion. You're still the prettiest lass north of Bogora. Is this a character that Eli does? It's like twice.

He's really blowing the dust off this one. It's been a while. Gotcha. So Irish abortion clinic lady, what do you say to Marsha's claim that protesters like yourself aren't so much helping women as they are a barely concealed intimidation force for theocratic patriarchy? Oh, to be sure, it is a great lie.

A lie as terrible and false as the child rape victims of St. Patrick himself. Wait, did St. Patrick? No, no, no, don't ask. He's probably making it up. I guarantee he's making it up. Do you know, no illusions, how an abortion is done? The doctor, may the devil take his eyes, puts a ninja bullet blender inside the lady along with a handful of strawberries and some yogurt. And makes a Jesus jumping jamba juice. No, that is absolutely not what happens at all.

And further, these lies are barbaric. Say, for example, I'm going down to the pub to get a point. And I notice a young girl being attacked with a ninja bullet blender. Now, little do I know, it's because of a roach infestation. They're doing abortions. May St. Jews-able stay their hands out in the alley that day. Before you know it, I'm locked in the clink like a dirty Protestant. What then, no illusions?

What then? I beat up the biggest guy on your first day? That I will, no illusions. That I will. All right. Well, Irish abortion clinic lady, thank you for joining us. Love to be gara. And on that note, we're going to pause for a quick word from this week's first sponsor, Allbirds.

All right, Heath, you ready for this month's Allbirds ad? Great. Let me guess, more ads about the you-know-who? Well, actually, this week we're talking about the Allbirds Mizzle Collection. Collection? As in there's more than one? That's right, Frank and Beans. This is my cousin. Oh, so this is the fellow that keeps poofing you away during family dinner? The very same. Oh, I'm turning you into a mouse. Don't, don't. Yes, well, here in the podcastiverse, the Mizzle Collection is also the surname of a vindictive Fae family where you live. It's comfortable, sustainably made shoes for any kind of weather. Get back here. Get him, Jeff. No, get a bag of salt. The Mizzle's water

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Discover your perfect pair at allbirds.com today. That's A-L-L-B-I-R-D-S dot com. I'm going to my room. Did you guys make the stairs eternal so he'll never get up there? Oh, you've seen that one before, right? Oh, it's a classic, man. Yeah. So far.

And we're back. Next up in headlines, we have a story about the Florida public education system. In particular, the Collier County School District in Naples, Florida. Apparently, the people of Collier County decided that Ron DeSantis and his woke bullshit was too much for them to take. So they elected three real Christian nationalists to fix it, which gives them a majority on the five-seat board. And that includes Jerry Rutherford, whose most relevant qualification is,

I've been a Christian for 60 plus years. It says that on his resume. Really? And he's approximately 8,000 years old, based on the picture I saw. So he found Jesus pretty late. His major focus is to bring back physical abuse in school. Like really exactly that.

Oh, is it that you can say gay, but only if a lesbian mom beats the principal's ass? Because I am in on that. And that's the plan. The wrist strength. Yes. So this guy, Jerry Rutherford, did an interview with the Naples Daily News after winning the election. And here's what he had to say. He started with item number one on his agenda, which is very literal corporal punishment. And at that point, I'm guessing the reporter said something like, are you fucking serious? But don't worry.

Rutherford did clarify. Yes, he's in favor of occasionally hitting students with a wooden board. But he's mostly talking about disabled kids. What? So he declared he fixed it. Hopefully he fixed it. According to Rutherford, quote, disabled students are not in control and get away with too much. End quote. So, yeah, he smoothed it over with that last part.

Skateboarding around in the school hall. Sir, that's a wheelchair. Whatever. Whatever. Seriously, it is really that, though. You know, he's right. He's right. Disabled kids have had it too good too long.

But who here hasn't looked at a visually impaired eight-year-old and thought, ah, it's about time someone took this kid down a peg or two. Okay, here's the thing I don't understand about laws, right? This guy can run on a platform of, I want to hit your disabled kid. But if I show up at the first school board meeting of that year and explain that I'll literally murder them if they touch my child, that's illegal. And that's crazy.

Right. It's crazy. It should be neither or both yeah right okay so i know it sounded like i was making a joke about you know woke ron de santis earlier but jerry rutherford defies satire after the remarks about beating up disabled kids like in the good old days he went on a rant about all the woke new bills that gave too many rights to LGBTQ students in the county. Which extra rights did they get? Go fuck yourself. Next question. From there, he laid out his plan to hand out Bibles in school to improve

standardized test scores. He also talked about getting rid of mask mandates that don't exist there. And he talked about stopping all the critical race theory that's already illegal there. And didn't exist before it was illegal. Also wasn't there to begin with. How exactly will the Bible improve standardized test scores? Like the Bible isn't even a useful revision tool for a standardized test on the contents of the Bible. It's too useless for that. And one other horrific detail that needs to be noted, seriously though, Florida law expressly permits corporal punishment of kids. Every district that wants to have adult teachers beat up children is specifically allowed to do that yeah yeah no florida schools

we're affirming a kid's sexual identity is considered child abuse but abusing children isn't god damn it but i'll murder them there has to be a legal way to explain yeah is it a charades thing do Do I have to be like, but then, oh. All right. So this whole story is terrifying and depressing. So let's see if we can bring back the mood with a quick discussion of Jerry Rutherford's insane physical appearance. Thank you. The boobs are so low. This is an image from his campaign video.

He chose this look for this moment. He's wearing a belt and suspenders over a t-shirt. He's got a phone holster. And he's got a giant belt buckle with the American flag and a literal bald eagle on it. And he's about 8,000 years old again. And the thing is, with the suspenders and then the big belt buckle, it looks like he's like buckled himself into that leather chair, like when you drop a toddler into a car seat.

Like just being stationary is too wild a ride for him. Absolutely, Marsh. These aren't just regular suspenders. These are load-bearing suspenders. That's what's happening here. The structural integrity of his human body remaining upright in this chair is extremely dependent on those straps

and the belt, maybe the holster. I don't know how he's using it all as like a system of trusses. If somebody walked up behind him and snapped those suspenders as a joke, his spine would fly out of his body like a Mortal Kombat finishing move. Which, by the way, is perfectly reasonable as a punishment,

according to him, if you don't like his behavior. You're right. But the thing is, looking at him, it's now pretty clear why he specifically wants to beat up disabled kids. Because he'd need a 10-year-old to be at a physical disadvantage in order for that to be a fair fight. That's true, yeah. Yeah, I am way less worried about this policy now.

If you put some teething crackers in this dude's back pocket, my two-year-old would take care of the problem himself. I am not worried. Also, I just have to point this out. His shirt, his name is in Comic Sans. Yes, it is. He put his own name in Comic Sans. But if you're going to use that many fonts on a T-shirt,

statistically, one of them is going to be Comic Sans. That's the law of probability. If one of these fonts could blink, it would, right? I like that he put District 1 in like Ariel or New Roman. He was like, no, this is serious. It's District 1. Serious? This one gets Terry Rutherford.

And in Go Team Go news. You know, when you keep your eye on religious media as long and as often as we have, you start to notice patterns in religious attacks on atheism. Sure, there's always the classics. You worship Satan. You eat babies. But this year, if you've been listening to the diatribes, there have been a lot of completely unresearched whatever happened to the atheist movement think pieces.

Though I'm not sure you actually can call those think pieces when there's no thought involved either way we actually got an answer to that question this week when only sky and friend of the show hem it meta released how atheist candidates fared in the 2022 elections and uh spoiler alert this is what happened to the atheist movement exponential representation in politics. Yeah, right. Ours is one of the few movements that can take shit for abandoning Twitter

for like the state Senate. So that's true, but abandoning a place that's half filled with conspiracy theorists and bigots that are shouting each other without the hope of productive dialogue while the entire system's falling apart due to the influence of hyper-capitalist ideologues,

abandoning that for the Senate, they gonna feel right at home yeah that's fair that is fair so let's break it down starting with the congressional free thought caucus and if i can quote the president of american atheists and man who refuses to return my nudes nick fish quote every member of the Congressional Freethought Caucus who was running last night has either won their race or is leading. Representatives Sean Kasten, Dan Kildee and Susan Wild all were in swing districts and won reelection, end quote. Yeah, at the time of this writing, there's only one member whose race hasn't been called. That's Jimmy Gomez in California's 34th district. And he's like he's up 5 percent with 65 percent reporting. So given California's electoral urgency, we should he's up 5% with 65% reporting.

So given California's electoral urgency, we should know for sure by this time next year, but it's looking good. Yeah. To be fair, though, every vote center, probably in the country at this point, has a Republican guy just centrifuging every ballot to find bamboo fibers and 5G molecules to check. And that kind of electoral integrity can take a while.

No, that's fair. Yeah. But again, that's just the Free Thought Caucus. There are now 16 non-religious state senators in a jump from 10 two years ago. And there are 53 non-religious state representatives. To put this all in perspective, as Hemet pointed out, before 2016, there were only five elected officials at the state level who were openly non-religious.

After this week, if everything stays on track, that number is over 70. Which is super impressive, as long as you can resist adding out of 18,750. Okay, don't do that. Eli was doing a nice, happy, numerator based story and you don't bring up denominators? Really, Noah? Thank you. He knew. But hey, if this growth continues

at the same linear rate, that means the US is going to have a majority of non-religious politicians by the year 3000. That's good news. Okay, not you, Marsh. You know what? You guys gave Andrew Lloyd Webber a seat in the House of Lords. The cats guy.

Okay, you gave the cats guy. Hey, there are far worse people in the House of Lords than Andrew Lloyd Webber. That's fair. That is fair. And here's the hopeful note that I want to leave you on.

If you're like me, you might be a little shy about contacting your representatives because you have no fucking idea what to talk to them about. Right. They're pretending to believe in Bigfoot. You're pretending you don't want to eat them at least a little bit. But you can check that link in the show notes. Find the state representative that actually represents you and take things from there.

Because, hey, we both don't think this country should be run by people's invisible friend is a great great jumping off place there you go and finally tonight in ccc you later news eastern university a christian college in pennsylvania has amended its policies to allow for the hiring of lgbtq staff and has added sexual orientation to the list in its non-discrimination statement nice so anna what are the guys talking about it's the newest the greatest christian freak out that's right christianity will be damned if some college is just gonna not discriminate against the gays so the council for christian colleges and universities temporarily suspended their membership until they can sort this shit out and start hating people correctly again wait wait

what's all this do unto others as you've done to yourself nonsense you guys are doing christianity all wrong okay but here's the thing if you get kicked out of a thing for not being a bigot you were in a bigot thing that's what that thing was no yeah exactly absolutely right so yeah hard to understate the change that eastern made here, right? Like their old policy for students forbade public displays of affection and, quote, sexual intimacy outside of a marriage between a man and a woman, end quote. The new policy just takes out the words between a man and a woman. Woke. But that and a pledge to stop disqualifying professors because of, you know, which adults they consensually fuck was way too much for the CCCU. Right?

The largest association of Christian colleges in the fucking country. They have a rule that says all member schools must have policies that uphold, quote, traditional Christian marriage

between a man and a woman, end quote. Which, in terms of phrasing, is something that we should stop playing along with because the fucking Christian tradition is celibacy if you're basing it on Jesus

and polygamy if you're basing it on the Bible. But regardless. Yeah, exactly. Them's the rules according to CCCU. So they've officially put an Easterns membership on hiatus for the next academic year. Okay. Maybe it's just watching god awful movies too often.

It's having a disturbing effect on me. I'm seeing Kevin Sorbo in a bigot training montage right now. Just like, all right, time to get back to the fundamentals. I'm picking up chickens. Just punching cold meat, saying gay over and over as a bad thing. It's like in middle school in the 90s.

I should note too, that this isn't the first time that the CCCU has had to face this problem. So in 2015, two Mennonite schools made similar policy changes. And while the CCCU debated what to do about it, two other schools left the organization because they didn't automatically kick those Mennonite schools out. Now, in this instance, the two Mennonite schools left voluntarily. And I think that's what CCCU is hoping that Eastern will do.

But that's perfect, isn't it? So one school gets a lot less bigoty, and then a bigoty school quits in protest, and then the less bigoty school also quits voluntarily. So if you just keep burning that candle at both ends, there'll be nothing of CCCU left in the middle. Problem solved. Yeah, right.

I don't know why I did the final countdown instead of rocking you. I was wondering when you were going to realize that. But when you look at this move from fucking Doug Mastriano's alma mater, no less, alongside all the shit that's going on at Seattle Pacific University, it's increasingly clear that bigoted colleges are going to have a lot of trouble

surviving Gen Z. Right. And not just because they canceled out the vote of literally everyone over the age of 65 in the last midterm. A real fact that makes me so happy I had to wedge it in at the end of headlines. All right. So with that factoid sufficiently wedged, we can close the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always.

Jumaji. And Marsh, thanks as sometimes. Conkers. When we come back, Marsh will have been replaced with two hairy, vulgar Chicagoans. Eli, what are you doing? Tom and Cecil will be here for the C-Segment any minute now. Yeah, so?

Well, you're not going to be much of a host without some food left out. You know how Tom gets when there isn't a snontre? What's a snontre? It's an entree for him to snack on. Right, right. I forgot about those. Don't sweat it, Marsh. We've got HelloFresh. Oh, what's HelloFresh?

With HelloFresh, you get farm fresh, pre-portioned ingredients, and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That's why it's America's number one meal kit. Well, don't get me wrong, Eli, that sounds great, but how's that going to help us entertain for the holidays? Well, whether you're hosting a holiday party or just stocking up on snacks, you'll find everything you need at HelloFresh Market, from quick breakfast to charcuterie boards and desserts.

It's never been easier to prep for a party or fill your pantry. Wow. I did not know they did that. They sure do. And if you need dinner in a hurry, HelloFresh's quick and easy options, like 20-minute meals and easy cleanup recipes, allow you to enjoy good times around the dinner table with loved ones and less time in the kitchen. It's true. HelloFresh sent us a box to try when they became an advertiser. I liked it so much, I continued to be a customer. That's why I, Ethan Wright, personally endorse HelloFresh.

Heath, why have you got petals growing out of your face? It's from the other ad. I don't want to talk about it. Okay. All right, guys. Yeah, I'm sold. Where do I sign up? Go to HelloFresh.com slash Scathing65 and use code Scathing65 for 65%

off plus free shipping. So I just go to HelloFresh.com slash Scathing65 and use the code Scathing65 for 65% off plus free shipping? That's right. Alright then, see you guys next time. You're not staying for the C-segment? Oh, no, no. I've got to catch a flight back to Manchester,

which is where I live, apparently, in the podcast-iverse. Sounds inconvenient. Yeah, I is where I live, apparently, in the podcastiverse. Oh, sounds inconvenient. Yeah, I mean, we could just do this over Skype or something. No. Yeah, bloody podcastiverse. Telling me. Do they hurt?

Yeah, a lot. Hmm. I think it was you. We've been faulted on this show for always tearing down instead of building up. And we generally defend ourselves by pointing out that the thing that we're tearing down is a vestigial, anti-intellectual, homophobic, regressive, sexist, child rape

enabling, war-stoking lie. And that's a damn good defense, but it's not our only defense. Feels solid. We also build things up by tearing other things down, which is perhaps best exemplified in our annual

Fit of Philanthropy Vulgarity for Charity, where we trade insults for charitable donations from our listeners. And it's time to get to the insulting. So we're excited to welcome back

the Huron and Ontario to our Michigan-erier and superior, Tom and Cecil from the Cognitive Dissonance Podcast. Tom, Cecil, welcome back. Thanks for having us. Which one is the one that lights on fire? I don't want to be that one.

Whatever one that doesn't light on fire is the one. That's the Chicago River. Yeah, I was going to say, I'm pretty sure that's Michigan. A deep dish pizza? So glad to be back. I am apoplectic with joy to be here.

Awesome. Now, before we dive in, I want to remind you that these first 25 roasts are just an appetizer. There is plenty more to come. 175 to be exact, 100 of which will come from our top donors, the rest from a random selection. As of now, we're at $92,000 raised. The first $100,000 is matched. That puts us at $184,000 total. of now we're at ninety two thousand dollars raised the first hundred thousand dollars this match that puts us at a hundred and eighty four thousand dollars total yeah there's a new double doubled because you doubled it yep right that's a big energy right fuck yeah energy but

it's not big enough energy damn it energy. Damn it. What are we fucking opening arguments? $200,000? No, no, that is not enough. We're shooting at least for $300,000 this year. We've got a long ways to go. And only that first $100,000 is matched. So be sure to check the show notes for all the details and get in while the getting's good. All right.

So let's get started. Eli, why don't you kick us off with the first donor of the year, Neil, who would like a roast for his brother, Eric. All right. So let's get started. Eli, why don't you kick us off with the first donor of the year, Neil, who would like a roast for his brother, Eric. All right. So Neil decided to send photos from all throughout Eric's life, like childhood, teens, what appears to be security footage from the time he got himself on Megan's list. I'm not sure which of these he wants me to roast, but I will say it does appear

that each photo was taken at the exact moment of realization of being Eric, right? Like every time in his life, he thought, oh God, not this. Click. Someone took a picture. So yeah, and many more, Eric.

Also pro tip, try to sandwich the Megan's list thing in between other stuff when you're introducing yourself to neighbors. Sometimes it just sort of flies by. All right. So Heath, you knew this was coming. So let's get it out of the way early.

God damn it. Keith gave us $100 for you to roast his dog, Molly. Okay. This is unacceptable. No, no. I'm not doing the dog. Keith, you're getting roasted. I will happily give you a refund and donate the hundred dollars myself.

Get the fuck out of here. Because Molly is a genius in her time. And you're completely unaware. In the picture we got, Molly has a slice of carrot stuck to her nose. It's adorable. And she's staring at you and without the ability of human speech with nothing but the existential pain in her eyes and a slight dog head tilt, she's very clearly communicating. Listen, you motherfucker. There is a geometrical oddity in the universe

called above my food hole where everything and nothing converges and there's a fucking event horizon and I can't do anything about it. And you know this. You better reach into the goddamn nether void and put this carrot in front of my mouth like God intended you say this. Fuck. That's what your dog is saying to you,

and you're doing nothing about it at all, Keith. You're doing nothing. You're just waving to the parade in Berlin in 1933 doing nothing. Fuck you. Yikes. Alright, and Cecil, Illusion of Fun would like you to roast

Sid Jolvik, I guess. Yeah, Sid looks like he was abandoned as an infant in Babbage's and raised by two IBM 5150s. Like just out in the wild. I remember Babbage's. It looks like someone

tried to create an AI generated photo of a synthesis of all entrepreneurs and then just gave up and shat out this picture which kind of looks like Ross Perot from the Clean Plate Club. He would have been cast as Kelly LeBrock's role in Weird Science if they would have left the jumper cables on PC Mag.

There's so many good references in there. Yeah, there's a lot. All right, Noah. This one's for you. Cameron gave us $200 for you to roast the Florida Gators football team. Oh, no. Whatever will I find to make fun of in such a storied college football division? Let me just bow my head for a moment in contemplation as I think about it.

Thank you. So it's really hard because Florida gave us such legendary players in the NFL like Emmitt Smith, Jack Youngblood, and probably somebody from this century too, I forget. But hell, as we speak, they are the third best college football team in all of Florida. And that might not sound good. And that might not sound good, but if NC State, Illinois, Oklahoma State, the University of Texas, San Antonio, Central Carolina, Oregon State, Cincinnati, the Longhorns, Tulane, and Notre Dame all die, you are a top 20 team. And no one can take that away from you. Except probably Wake Forest or Minnesota, I guess. And don't worry, while you're still finding your way back into that top tier,

I am sure that Georgia won't mind keeping the number one spot warm for you. Tim Tebow is pretty good at baseball eventually. That's a cool guy. All right. So, and of course, Tom, it's been more than a year since we've gotten to hear a signature Tom roast.

So Douglas and Tabitha would like one of their ex-friend, Andrew. All right. Well, I actually reject the premise of the roast here because you see, Andrew was never really your friend. A friend is not a shared history. It's not some memory of times you had when things were simple. A friend isn't someone who lays down their worries at your door or spends late nights laughing with you. That shit, it's nice. That's sure. but it's easy. That is acquaintance level shit. You can be forgiven for

confusing this with friendship to be sure, but it isn't the same. Andrew and guys like Andrew enjoy the trappings and labels of the title of friend, but they don't want any of the work, none of the responsibility, none of the reciprocity. And here's why. No one can make connections deeper than the depth of their own character. And Andrew has all the depth of the surface tension of a wastewater retention pond. He chooses to do nothing rather than to be a part of your life because that is his best and final offer. That is who he is. Nothing.

He is time itself not spent but wasted. He is the he is. Nothing. He is time itself not spent, but wasted. He is the afterbirth of joy, disposable, unpleasant, and forgotten. Andrew bowed out of your life, but you didn't lose a friend in this. You lost an ideal, a vision you had for an Andrew that never was because he never had the courage to be worth seeing in the first place. Oh, I missed that so much. I missed it too. I missed it too. Oh, I missed that so much.

It's better than I remembered. It's better than I remembered. It's better. All right, awesome jobs all around. But before we close things off for this first segment of Vulgarity for Charity, I wanted to select five of our top donors to receive a full court roasting from all of us, starting with Wolf Undead's stepdad, Brian. And by the way, I had to select five of our top donors to receive a full court roasting from all of us, starting

with Wolf Undead's stepdad, Brian. And by the way, I had to read that so many times before I knew that it wasn't his undead stepdad, but rather his name is Wolf Undead. Got it. Got it. Okay. It also changes your roast, doesn't it? Yeah. All right. So stepdad

Brian is who I'm roasting? Yeah. Got it. Okay. Stepdad Brian, he looks like a gnome trying to steal valor but like because everyone's like you're a gnome though you were oh you were in vietnam okay get the fuck out of here troops needed cookies he looks like he looks like someone tried to pack a musket using his face, and then he just kept the wadding as a beard. You know those tests they used to give you in school

that would tell you what profession you were best suited for? This guy got warning protagonists about old-timey curses. Ryan looks like he runs into the background of other people's pictures at Disney World in the desperate hope that someone, anyone, will keep a photograph of him. You know, I actually think I remember

roasting Brian way back when, but I'm happy to take a second swing, though judging by his recent fight performance, a second swing sounds quite a bit like overkill. Here's the thing. Brian is your stepdad. The world is full, unfortunately, of quite a lot of really awful stepdads, and that baffles me.

As a stepdad myself, there's no excuse for that. Being a stepdad as a role with such a low bar for performance, you'd have to tunnel underground to slink beneath it, which Brian very clearly did. Now, that may sound like it's a damning indictment, and it is, but not of Brian's character because he is bankrupt in that department. Instead, his poor performance playing the easiest familial role since third cousin twice removed is a reflection of his pathological inability to see who he is, which, given the photo you sent, is likely a protective instinct. Through all of the chaos and unhappiness that guys like Brian aim to sow,

however, keep this in mind. The only thing weaker than Brian's chin is his ego. Guys like Brian lash out because they are fragile and easily hurt. So hurt him often. He deserves it. He's a gnome. You don't have to worry about it too much, right? That's true.

He can take a punch. It's a little heart. So next up, with a donation of $666, Colin would like a roast of their co-worker, Alex. Okay, Alex looks like Jeremy Piven's personality from Entourage. Oh my God. He looks like he's telling you about his most recent shit

while you put on headphones and clearly look away and start walking and still talking. Fuck you. Can a person be all recessive genes? Is that possible? Yes, that's it. Alex looks like a hundred years ago, he would have died in infancy,

but his parents wouldn't have bothered with a baby grave. They would have just been like, let's wait till we lose the next one and then we'll say they were twins. It's perfect. Come on. It's perfect.

Leukemia is actually dominant in this one. It looks like if humans reproduced by cell division and there was like a weird hiccup. Yeah. So you remember when Lamisil's marketing department had to come up with a mascot that like represented toenail fungus as a creature? Yes.

So they went with the one that they did because they feared that if they went with their first initial concept, Alex would sue them for likeness rights. Amazing. Alex's garden variety in a garden that only grows disappointments. I actually,

I read an article the other day about how men were having less sex since women have begun raising their standards and Alex was cited 14 times in the footnotes. Alex is that guy in a sea of that guys. He is the waldo no one bothers to look for alex is a walking pustule a bloated hairy slice of the most banal regressions possible in the human species if the fermented stench of yesterday's cast-off cum sock could be animated

and made human it too would be disgusted by alex all right up next i think we have one that we can all have some fun with sarah dc gave us a thousand bucks to roast virginia's governor glenn youngkin fantastic okay glenn youngkin just for everybody's knowledge is creating a critical race theory hotline. Yep. Like a support line for people who are victims of that. So bigots in Virginia can get emergency support if they get scared by something black in their life.

Obviously, that makes no sense because they already used 911 for that. So what the fuck are we doing? Redundant. Glenn Youngkin is white fear incarnate so much so that he would use that as his campaign slogan if his fucking base didn't think Latin was gay.

For fuck's sake, dude. Your signature article of clothing is essentially a Republican Thunder shirt. Right? It's a bright red vest. It's like he looked at a MAGA hat and said,

okay, but what if he could give me a hug? You guys remember that movie where they dug a hole in someone's backyard and demons came out?

If you do that at a country club, you get Glenn Youngkin. Yeah. He's an adult of the corn. Absolutely. Yeah.

Glenn Youngkin is worth hundreds of millions of dollars and still chooses to live in Virginia. That makes sense since that's where all his young kin live. He's fucking gross. I'm just saying he's fucking gross. Glenn Youngkin looks like he just stepped through a portal to destroy his good universe opposite, but his good universe opposite is Brett Kavanaugh.

He looks like the rapiest Supreme Court justice without all the boyish charm. All right, well, we're on a roll. Let's all have a go at Steve P's Uncle Gerald. Yeah. So, a little backstory here. Uncle Gerald refuses to use his granddaughter's preferred pronouns at family gatherings where everyone else is.

So, Steve, Gerald looks like Samuel Ratched, if you know what I mean. Okay. Gerald looks like he left the party early and told everybody he was taking a long trip to Guam. Okay. I think you should f*** your Uncle Gerald. I think that's what you should do for the

world. Two votes. You can beep that if you want. He looks like Mark Twain's shitty conservative brother who became a cop. He's Mark Twain. He looks like Mark Twain. Mark Twain is so good. And based on the email we got about all the bigotry,

I'm guessing he uses the N-word at least as often as Mark Twain. Now. He looks like if there was like, if there were like substitute teachers, but for racist old timey Southern lawyers. Right? Ooh. He's like what you get if you let Ray comfort actually fuck that banana yeah yeah i see it

i don't know i i think gerald looks a lot like if steve irwin had lived long enough to die of syphilis and okay so last but certainly not least we've got a little self-flagellation up aaron would like us to roast him, and he paid a thousand smackaroos for the privilege. Okay, fuck you. I'm looking at these pictures. Aaron's a beautiful man. He's in his 20s.

He's clearly doing great, and we're supposed to roast him now? No. In the email from Aaron, we learn he's a programmer who makes enough money to donate $1,000 to charity. We know that too and then he gives us a quick humble brag about his amazing dating app pictures and he says you know in as much roasty detail as possible tell me why i can't keep a man for more than a few months get the fuck out of here i'm a gainfully employed young person with marketable skills and hope. Roast me now, podcasters.

Fuck you. Absolutely not. And you can't keep a man because you don't want to. You want to slice some more dick on Tinder and Grindr, which sounds delightful. Get the fuck out of here. You have hope.

Yeah, wherever will we find roast material for this overweight, vegan, tabletop, RPG-loving, relationship-challenged computer geek in Kansas Heath why can't you keep a man Aaron I don't know maybe this is every detail

you listed in your bio other than gay sounds like a writer's room full of 80s sitcom writers trying to flesh out the nerd character right also I have to mention this in half of the pictures that he sent along to aid in the roast he was wearing a fucking mask so you're also clearly not the sharpest knife in the drawer either there aaron

man people have to fucking pay a witch to make a tornado to abduct them from fucking kansas what the fuck are you still doing aaron you're a gay nerd in k Kansas and you wonder why your dating life isn't popping for real. After fucking the tin man and the scarecrow, I think you've blown all your options, man. You want to roast of yourself? Every day you wake up a geeky gay dude in a state even the Midwest forgets to care about. You roast yourself every day. What are you thinking is going to happen? Some great cornhole Kansas gay renaissance is going to pop up like

grinder dick on poppers, and you're going to be rubbing your hands together gleefully knowing that, of course, Wichita was always going to be the next San Francisco. Get the fuck out of here, man. No, actually, get the fuck out of there, Aaron. Kansas. fuck out of here man no actually get the fuck out of there aaron kansas fuck i hope your mother's happy look to your left look to your right go either way so much he's probably crushing it now though i bet he's crushing it now guys guys aaron clearly asked us why he couldn't get a man and none of you were brave enough to tell him the truth. So I'll be the one to do it. It's because you're bad at oral sex, Aaron.

These guys don't want to tell you, but I spoke to your scout master and everyone who visited the glory hole last Thursday and the consensus, the consensus, Aaron, meh. Okay?

You suck dick like you're unsure if sperm violates your veganism and I'm going to tell you what that farmer did. Okay? Yes. But only because you keep sneaking onto his property and doing it to the bulls while they're asleep. Okay.

That's on you. Jesus Christ. All right. Well, that's all the tarnation we have time for this week. But there's still plenty more to come. And there's still a week left to get your donations in. So now that you know what your money can buy, be sure to head over to ModestNeededs.org or check the show notes for all the details. Tom, Cecil, thanks so much for coming on. Thanks for having us. Thanks for having us, man. And of course, be sure to tune

in to Monday's episode of Cognitive Dissonance for the next batch of Vulgarity for Charity roasts. You'll find a link in the show notes. Before we lick the envelope tonight, I want to thank all the Vulgarity for Charity donors who have helped make this thing such a success over the years. One last time, details to get involved are in the show notes. Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show,

The Skeptocrat, debuting at 7 p.m. Eastern on Monday, and an even newer episode of our sister show's hot friend, Godawful Movies, debuting at 7 p.m. Eastern on Tuesday, and an even newer episode of our half-sister show,awful Movies, debuting at 7 Eastern on Tuesday, and an even newer episode of our half-sister's solicitation need to do booing at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, I want to thank Heath Enright for buying me half of a PS5 as an early Christmas present. Huh? I need to thank Eli Bosnick for buying me

the other half of that same PS5. I need to thank Lucinda Lusions for accidentally spoiling the surprise, such that I had no reason not to open it early. I need to thank Michael Marshall for helping us get ahead for Thanksgiving, even though he doesn't believe in that holiday, I want to thank Tom and Cecil

for always stepping up when the world needs them. I want to thank Tim Robertson as well, who in addition to taking care of our social media has been doing yeoman's work, helping us stay caught up with all the Volgaria for charity donations this year. I also want to thank Plastered Gore TV for providing this week's Farnsworth quote.

Be sure to check them out on YouTube for all your Mormon curb stomping drug addict needs, I guess. You'll find a link in the show notes. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's and last week's best people, James, Alexander, Eileen, Travis, Grandy, Brian, Finn, Bobby of the Eastwood Unlockner of Worlds, Michael, Ayla, God Puncher, Andrew, Ryan, Everything Important, Anders, Garrett, Martha, Alexandra, Gregory, Johnny, Pekka, Eric, Marcus, John, The Ethical Jerk, and Adam, who are hot

enough to boil off a red wave before it can even reach the shore. Together, these 25 ferocious freethinkers forked over a fistful of favor in furtherance of our foul-mouthed puckery this week by giving us money. Not everybody has the money it takes to give money to us, but if you do, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingatheist, whereby you'll earn only access to an extended ad-free version of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at skatingads.com.

And if you'd like to help, but not in a giving-us-money kind of way, you can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review, telling a friend about the show, and following at P-I-A-T-Pod on Twitter. Quick, before it burns all the way to the ground. Legal services for this podcast are provided by the Law Offices of P. Andrew Torres, Tim Robertson handles our social media, and our audio engineer is Morgan Clark, who will be using this episode, which was used with permission.

If you have questions, comments, or suggestions, you can find all the contact info on the contact page at skatingads.com. what he was he was trying to do a pun it's not worth giving time he's he's shaking in the edit noah you can make it seem like i said it right after he eats one if you want to you can He was trying to do a pun. It's not worth it. Give him time. He's shaking right now. In the edit, Noah, you can make it seem like

I said it right after he eats one. If you want to, you can. If you want. Or all of this goes right in. Just as is. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC.

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