The Scathing Atheist - 512: Tug O' Warnock Edition
Episode Date: December 8, 2022In this week’s episode, the Supreme Court dusts of their "NO DOGS, NO IRISH" signs, the Christian counterintelligence team goes on a hunt for atheist witches in their ranks, and we’ll learn what a... perfect backup career Uber driver is for Herschel Walker. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Guest Links: Check out Iowa Atheists and Freethinkers here: https://www.iowaatheists.org/ --- Headlines: Non-religious voters gave Democrats crucial wins: https://apnews.com/article/abortion-pennsylvania-reproductive-rights-e5eb366a76995619a2c9bae200f414e6 Supreme Court indicates it could side with anti-LGBTQ+ web designer in key civil rights case: https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/12/supreme-court-indicates-side-anti-lgbtq-web-designer-key-civil-rights-case/ https://twitter.com/AndrewLSeidel/status/1599748470818033666 Lying pastor: Bible College students become atheists and infiltrate churches: https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/lying-pastor-bible-college-students-become-atheists-and-infiltrate-churches/ Indonesia passes terrifying new laws against apostasy, premarital sex, etc.: https://www.cnn.com/2022/12/05/asia/indonesia-new-code-passed-sex-cohabitation-intl-hnk/index.html Anti-LGBTQ org launches alert system to protest drag shows: https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/12/anti-lgbtq-org-launches-alert-system-protest-drag-shows/ Census reveals Christians are finally in the minority in England and Wales https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/census-reveals-christians-are-finally-in-the-minority-in-england-and-wales/ Why are Lyft and Uber letting Christian drivers preach at passengers?: https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/why-are-lyft-and-uber-letting-christian-drivers-preach-at-passengers/
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Warning, we haven't gotten any less vulgar since last week.
This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by Stamps.com, Allbirds, and by my new side hustle, Bottled Redneck Tears.
Because all the MAGA-behatted Republican bigots in my rural Georgia neighborhood are devastated today and I'm savoring every fucking second of it.
Bottled Redneck tears.
They kind of smell like Natty Light, but still.
And now, The Scathing Atheist.
This is Jason Paul Bunnell.
And this is Olivia from Iowa.
And we're here to tell you that we did in fact evolve from filthy monkey men and women.
And women. Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's Thursday.
It's December 8th.
And it's Take It In The Ear Day.
What?
Yeah, because sometimes that holiday calendar website does our job for us.
No illusions.
I'm Eli Bosnick.
I'm Heath Enright.
And from Matt Taibbi's New Jersey and over Michigan and way across Georgia,
this is The Scathing Atheist.
He also went to NYU.
Oh, no, damn it.
On this week's episode, the Supreme Court dusts off their no dogs, no Irish signs.
The Christian counterintelligence team goes on a hunt for atheist witches in their ranks.
And we'll learn what a perfect backup career Uber driver is for Herschel Walker.
But first, the diatribe. It feels weird to be so jubilant over getting a preacher elected, doesn't it?
I mean, don't get me wrong. It's way closer than it should have been in the very fact that
Herschel Walker, vampire hunter, got within 100,000 votes of the Senate.
It should shame our nation to the 12th generation.
But holy shit, did I breathe a sigh of relief when it became clear that Warnock was going to win it.
Right?
I was so excited, in fact, that I stuck around for his victory speech, which I almost never do.
Right?
Those things are always so rote and so boring.
But I was pretty emotionally invested in this one.
And from what I've heard before,
Warnock is a pretty impressive order.
So I stuck around and look,
I get that he's an ordained minister with 11 siblings from rural Georgia
whose middle name is Gamaliel, right?
I know the good Lord's a coming
as soon as he starts talking.
I'm not caught off guard by it,
but that doesn't mean that
when 11 words into his speech,
if you don't count the crowd work, we got to a, to God be the glory, I wasn't disappointed. I was instead reminded
that light years ahead of his competitor, though he is, he still leaves a lot for a rationalist to
desire. And don't get me wrong, I don't really take issue with the way that Senator Warnock
invoked his religion in his acceptance speech by and large right he started off with some silly shit about how this
victory is a reminder that quote we pray not only with our lips but with our legs end quote
because that's a funny way of saying don't expect the magic i sell you to actually work
though you have to you have to actually do all this shit for yourself the only other time he
got really religious was was in this bit where he said, and I'll just quote him again, quote, I believe that democracy is the political enactment of a
spiritual idea. The notion that each of us has within us a spark of the divine. We all have
value. And if we have value, we ought to have a voice, end quote. And like, it's not that.
That's not what, like, democracy is the enactment of a secular idea. And it only works when it is that. And we all recognize it. But but fine. You know, OK, you know, I'll set aside my issue with the sentiment. Like if you you know, if you're undying love for Battlestar Galactica cosplay inspired you to be a good senator, I wouldn't mind you bringing that up in a speech. So sure. Have at it, man. Your favorite fictional character inspires you to legislate, whatever. But the one time that he brought up religion where it really echoed the loudest for me were
those first few words, that bit when he humbly offered up all the glory to God.
I mean, that's hardly unique to Raphael Warnock, so I'm certainly not faulting him above other
politicians for it. It's a shibboleth of humility that damn near every American politician in my
lifetime indulges in.
It's a clarification that pious people wield like a sword. Oh, don't give me any other credit. Give it to God. I'm too humble to accept any accolades for my own accomplishments. So instead, I'll
remind everybody that the creator of the goddamn universe and governor of divine justice personally
intervened on my behalf to ensure them.
I mean, how much less humble can you possibly be? Oh, it's not me. It's the fact that the very
giver of life and meaning decided I was better than my opponent. Don't get me wrong. If there
was a God, he would certainly prefer Raphael Warnock to Herschel Walker. I feel pretty
confident about that, but it's not exactly the declaration of selflessness they seem to think it is when they say it.
Instead, it's a way of saying, if you think I deserve accolades and applause now, wait until you see how humble I am.
And it should be treated accordingly.
Because here's the thing.
With very few exceptions, nothing is an individual effort.
If you're standing up on a stage or in front of a microphone or whatever, and you're in one of those positions where a Christian might offer the glory to God, there are almost certainly a whole fuck ton of non-fictional people more deserving of that praise.
And you're taking it away from them on God's behalf. Right. Real people made this shit happen, not Bronze Age deities.
And yes, of course, Warnock thanked his family and his campaign staff and the volunteers and the voters and all that shit.
Of course, Warnock thanked his family and his campaign staff and the volunteers and the voters and all that shit.
But first and foremost, above everybody else, he thanked God.
He thanked an imaginary being that exists only in his own head, which means that first and foremost, he thanked himself.
So, yeah, stoked that Raphael W a place where every goddamn politician in the country feels the need to thank a magical ghost every time they win a goddamn election.
They're talking about you, Jesus.
We interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin.
Joining me for headlines tonight are the SNES and Genesis to my TurboGrafx-16, Heath Enright and Eli Bosnick.
Fellas, are you ready to play?
Absolutely.
I am going to need you to blow me to get started, but I'll do it over the pants and shirt.
All right.
Well, while I explain once more to Eli that blowing on cartridges just adds moisture to the contacts and hastens their erosion, we're going to pause for a word from this week's
first sponsor, Stamps.com.
Typical small business.
Can I help you?
Yes, I'm an old person customer
that makes your job the literal worst.
I'd like to order four large products, please.
Oh, yeah, sure.
I can do that.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You didn't let me finish.
I need one on Thursday,
one on Friday,
and the last two to arrive on Sunday.
Yeah, that's a weird request, but yeah, fine.
No problem.
No problem?
You're supposed to be flummoxed, bamboozled, put through the rear.
Yeah, yeah, old-timey expressions, got it.
But that won't be a problem because I've got stamps.com.
What's stamps.com? Stamps.com is your one-stop
shop for all your shipping and mailing needs. For more than 20 years, stamps.com has been
indispensable for over 1 million businesses. Get access to the USPS and UPS services you need to
run your business right from your computer. No lines, no traffic, no hassle, even save money
with major discounts on USPS and UPS shipping rates up to 86% off. Well, if that's the discount you're getting, then I want it too. Nope,
not how anything works. This holiday season, trade late nights for silent nights and get
started with stamps.com today. Sign up with promo code scathing for a special offer that
includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long-term commitments
or contracts.
Just go to stamps.com, click the microphone at the top of the page, and enter scathing.
All right, but if you have mints on your desk in a bowl,
I expect you to throw all of them in with what I purchased.
You're the worst part of the economy.
The faster you die, the better the world gets.
That's true.
And now, back to the headlines.
In our lead story tonight, the Associated Press
just released data from their 2022 vote cast, a behemoth survey that replaced their exit polling
data in 2018. And it showed that if you like the way the midterms turned out, you have secular
voters to thank for it. And if you don't like the way they turned out, you have secular voters to
thank for the parts that you do like, at least, I guess, because it turns out that 22 percent of midterm voters were non-religious and that group voted for democratic candidates by a
margin of more than two to one that includes huge turnouts and democratic margins in key
battleground states like pennsylvania wisconsin and arizona yeah so when you're talking with
religious people it is important to stay humble and not be projecting an air of superiority you know i mean
but we are better though so yeah i usually said we're better we're better people way yeah think
of yourself as a benevolent king gently wiping the muck of theocracy off the faces of everyone
below the mason dixon that's just that's the way to do it thanks for your permission elaine and look
as much as we hear about how politically
loyal and active evangelicals are it's worth emphasizing that according to unofficial
statistician of the scathing atheist ryan p burge the p is for pethesda self-identified
atheists and agnostics are more likely than evangelicals to make campaign donations attend
political meetings and join protests and as the ordained minister senator
that i donated to raised money for and just voted for for the fourth time in two years can tell you
it's not like we insist that our candidates share our viewpoints on religion right as long as they
share our values and our values by the way at least as far as the ap survey can define them
are lgbtq rights abortion rights and scientifically literate legislation
right because we're better because we're better people like i was saying before if we're ranking
the religions i know you're not supposed to do this but if we're racking them the worst one is
religion yeah don't do that yep also keep in mind that like what they mean by attend political
meetings and join protests is like i don't hung outside the library with a machine gun because I heard they was turning the boys into girls.
And we're like, oh, no, we gave money to Elizabeth Warren.
So it's even better than statistics would tell you.
Yes.
Yeah, exactly.
So, yeah, 22 percent of voters is a huge fucking number.
Right.
Like over 17 million people.
To put that in perspective,
that's about the same percentage as Catholics.
Evangelicals accounted for about 30%,
but that was the only religious demographic larger than us.
Now, the depressing aspect of that is that,
as you may have already arithmeticed,
that's way lower than the actual percentage
of the population that is non-religious, right?
That's somewhere between 26 and 30 percent, depending on who you ask.
So in all, nuns were severely underrepresented at the polls compared to like Christians who account for 63 percent of the population and about 65 percent of the vote.
Right, which is especially egregious when you remember that the very right to be a nun was on the fucking ballot in the midterms right if the
supreme court had been tossing around the notion of banning christianity once and for all something
tells me we would have seen excellent goddamn turnout from the christians yeah no shit now the
good news though is that the representation goes way up when instead of looking at nuns you look
at atheists among people who identify themselves as atheist or agnostic, voter representation
was actually higher than the national numbers
and their overall support for Democratic
candidates and policies was higher than the average
nun. So, you know, not to contradict
several very informed adjacent
think pieces over the last year, but it looks
like the organized atheism
is the type that's joined the far right the
least of all the different ways
of not believing in God. It's so
weird. You're doing it by math
and numbers though, whatever.
At this point, next year's
anti-atheist think pieces are just going to be
videos of me trying to do crunches.
Okay, but he's fat though.
No, he got us.
You got me.
And in 303 Merit Not Found news, when the conservative led Supreme Court
decided Masterpiece Cake Shop in 2018, they essentially sent up a flare for legal bigots
for the case that came across their docket this week. 303 Creative LLC versus Alanis,
which may very well be the nail in the coffin of non-discrimination law at all
as it applies to religious liars. Yeah. Yeah. Because the message to bigots after Masterpiece
Cake Shop was clear, right? It was, we like where your head's at. Now send us one where we don't
have to make up fewer undefined terms. Yep. So legal bigots in this case are the same ones as
Masterpiece Cake Shop, the Alliance Defending freedom, who I should point out would creep out the Legion of Doom if they shared a floating skull in a swamp somewhere.
But this case is different from Masterpiece Cake Shop in a few key ways. See, in the case of Masterpiece Cake Shop, there was a gay couple that wanted a cake and a bigot that didn't want to give it to them.
couple that wanted a cake and a bigot that didn't want to give it to them in the case of 303 creative llc a bigot website maker so bad at their job they don't know they named their business after
the error code for html there's no gay couple right as andrew seidel pointed out on twitter
quote the business wants to post the equivalent of a digital no blacks or no Jews or no Irish sign. It wants to publicly
declare its Christian need to refuse LGBTQ people service, but it can't because of civil rights laws
and quote. And that is what this Supreme Court is looking to change.
Okay. I'd love it if we didn't have to have no Irish as a third example to make that point.
Yeah.
Because you know a bunch of Christian people are like, yeah, exactly.
No Jews, no blacks.
Like golf.
Wait, no Irish?
Okay, hold on.
Right, right.
They're almost white.
It's a very similar case, but something tells me that this one won't end up being decided
based on a hostility test.
Yeah.
Weird how that works.
And I just want to say
that like,
even if the court rules
correctly in this case,
which they're showing
every sign of not doing,
the oral arguments
have been repugnant.
You listened
to the oral arguments
and you found them repugnant?
I perused
summaries.
Okay.
When Justice
Kataji Brown Jackson offered, I don't know why we're fact checking
now apparently we fact check now did you did you did you look all your stories you probably did
yeah yeah when kataji brown jackson offered a hypothetical scenario suggesting a mall santa
clause could not refuse to take photos with children who were not white.
Alito asked if that would mean a black mall Santa would have to be photographed with a child wearing a KKK outfit.
There it is.
Yeah.
And then he had to have it explained to him that Ku Klux Klan outfits are not protected characteristics under public accommodation laws.
And he was like, right, right, right.
Yeah.
And there wouldn't be a black Santa. Anyway, sorry. was dumb that was dumb yeah i live next to eli bosnick like right
next to matt taibi and then like your shitty fucking uncle who knows damn well what an idiot
he is but thinks if he humps back in his chair he can sometime make the ass whooping he just got a tie
he decided to do a tight five about what if it was a black kid in a kkk uniform yeah yeah so this was
in response to elena kagan pointing out that said black santa would also refuse to take a picture
with a black kid in a kkk outfit dude she's fucking great but to which he responded sarcastically he goes well you do
see a lot of black children in ku klux klan outfits right end quote as though a he just
rescued his stupid ass hypothetical and b more importantly that he all the time sees white kids
in kkk outfits right like that's a very common sight in the Alito household.
Jesus.
Yeah.
So, like I said, I personally think this case is going to go for the bigots.
Based on the oral arguments you listen to.
Right.
Okay.
What?
What is happening today?
Vito.
Heath is dating a 16 year old girl.
Anyways, Supreme Court of the United States is going to enshrine into law fucking no Jews allowed signs.
And they're going to do it while Justice Alito just lives so close to my house.
Just so close.
I probably know what grocery store he shops at.
Sorry, I mean voting.
Vote something.
This helps.
Votes.
And next up in headlines.
Studying the Bible is making people atheist anna what are the guys talking about it's the newest the greatest christian freak out that's right the christian
right is not hearing it and they're having a freak out the latest version of this particular freak out
came from pastor luc Lucas Miles last week,
who explained that students at seminaries and Bible colleges are turning atheist during their studies,
but they still go on to get jobs as preachers.
And then they give sermons from the pulpit about godless woke stuff.
And that's infiltrating modern Christianity with evil ideas like Jesus Christ being trans, which they're also freaking out about.
So many bizarre steps there.
It's nuts.
Right.
But they all boiled down to the thing that it always is with these people, right?
Which is they might be doing the thing that we're openly doing.
Yeah.
thing that we're openly doing yeah right he's like hey christians you know that thing that we've been doing with psychologists to such an odious degree that recovering from religion had to set up a
special system so that atheists could like make sure they didn't accidentally get evangelized to
instead of therapy well in my imagination atheists are doing a harmless and more honest version of
that rabble rabble rabble also not for nothing but if you're leveling the same accusations
at kids these days as harvard divinity school leveled at emerson you might be a little behind
the times could be so this all started with a giant scandal that rocked the christianity world
last week involving the idea of Jesus being trans.
Nobody said that.
Not that it would be a problem,
but nobody said that.
But if you ever got a 20-page hysterical email
about a skeptocrat episode
that the person didn't understand,
you'll know that somebody saying that doesn't matter.
No, not important.
What did happen is a research fellow at Cambridge
was talking about the depictions of Jesus in art history and mentioned that certain pieces suggest a trans body.
The idea being he had a penis and also a wound on his side, perhaps symbolizing a vagina.
And the whole point of bringing it up was just to say that we should value feminine qualities and masculine qualities and everything in between.
And Christianity should stop being transphobic bigots. to say that we should value feminine qualities and masculine qualities and everything in between, and Christianity
should stop being transphobic bigots.
Of course, Christianity
stopped listening after trans body
long ago, and they had a full
meltdown about that.
Yeah, but whether or not they did, there's literally nothing
about that sentiment that wouldn't send
Lucas Miles into a full
meltdown.
Although, I gotta say, guys, if Christianity
starts making you can fuck Jesus
in all his holes promises,
that might turn me, okay?
That's some birthday promises right there.
You know? Alright, Pope,
we know you're a listener.
Make it happen. Frankie,
in response to Jesus Christ
having a really cool
side vagina.
Please, please, Heath.
Stigmussie.
Stigmussie.
Not going to say that.
Christian Wright TV host Miranda Kahn of the Real America's Voice Network.
She invited Pastor Miles to speak about this very serious issue.
They talked about it for like three minutes, during which Pastor Miles mentioned Adolf Hitler, normal stuff.
And then they got on a tangent about the atheist conspiracy.
According to Miles, quote, it's not rare to see a student enter Bible college as a passionate believer and then leave an atheist.
That's happened.
Sure the fuck has.
And then go get a job at a pulpit someplace in America, pastoring a church, even though they don't believe in God.
This is happening all the time.
And this is one of the things that I'm really working to expose and also trying to provide solutions for.
For people not really believing in God.
I am dying to know what kind of solutions he has.
Yeah, we're going to get to his plan.
It's not a plan.
Oh, awesome.
It's weird that they don't know
what a cell phone that is too, right?
People tend not to graduate
from law school a sovereign citizen.
You know what I'm saying?
So he makes that insane claim.
And then we get a very rare moment
when Christian Wright TV hosts
become a hero of skepticism. They cut back to
Miranda Khan in the studio and she's about to, you could see it on her face. She's about to be like,
dude, what? But she's a news host. She stops herself. And instead of saying exactly that,
she says as close as you can get as news host. She says, okay, you got to explain that
because I'm sure a lot of our viewers
just had their ears perk up and said, what?
You said this is happening everywhere?
I haven't heard of this happening.
How would you even know that?
And of course, he had a really long answer
that answered absolutely nothing.
I love that on his face when he's saying that though,
he's like, I'm sorry,
I thought I was talking to Christian Wright TV.
Are we not just allowed to make shit up?
That's our whole thing.
He was surprised by that.
We made a network so we could do this.
Don't ask me if I listen to the oral arguments.
What are we, fact-checking?
Exactly.
She's dating a 16-year-old girl, everybody.
What is happening with this?
Morgan. Noah. All cut. Leave it in. So apparently the atheist infiltration is an actual fear in the evangelical community. And that makes me very
happy. Like they're really afraid of this. And now they're doing a paranoid mole hunt. That is
Pastor Miles's plan. He's one of the leaders of the mole hunt, which takes the form of the American Pastor Project,
a new watchdog campaign to make sure pastors are real ones, like real Christians and not atheist spies who teach heretical concepts,
like, of course, not hating gay people.
And he actually mentioned this critical race theory and of course, side vaginas.
So that's what Christianity spent its time on recently
when they weren't fighting a war against Jewish coffee cups.
It's very serious.
Take them seriously.
Yeah.
As they so often do.
And in Jakarta, the deal news tonight.
Fantastic.
Thank you.
The world's largest Muslim majority nation got significantly
more terrifying this week after Indonesian
lawmakers introduced a new legal code that
bans, among other things, apostasy
and sex outside of marriage.
This legal code, which replaces
a colonial era Dutch holdover,
has been years in the making and human rights
watchdogs have been threatened over it the whole time.
From what I've seen so far, the end result
represents some pretty worst case scenario. and while it threatens the rights of everyone in
the country as is so often the case with the democratic shit it stands to disproportionately
impact women gays and religious minorities sorry just want to make sure i have this right
the european colonizers from the 1600s were too woke for Indonesia right now.
Yep.
And then someone made it worse on a fucking iPad.
Yes.
Right?
Hey, new rule.
If you're writing on technology that would make your prophet shit his pants,
he's not your prophet anymore.
You get a new guy.
You got to get a new one.
Update to a more modern fucking prophet.
Yeah.
Don't have prophets. Why? That's fucking profit. Yeah, so- Don't have profits.
Why?
That's even better, yeah.
And now look,
if you've been listening to us for long,
you'll know that Indonesia
wasn't exactly winning any accolades
from Amnesty International
before this new legal code passed.
In the semi-autonomous Aceh province,
alcoholic gambling,
same-sex relationships,
and adultery were already punishable
by, among other things, public floggings. And it looks more and more like the rest of the country is
going to follow down that path of Sharia law. A few years back, the government tried to pass
essentially the same legal code as student-led protests across the country managed to forestall
it. But though this law apparently still awaits President Joko Widodo's signature,
it doesn't look like we're going to get a similar reprieve this time. Yeah. It's kind of like if the tree fort officially becomes a part of the alt-right,
right? Like the no girls allowed policy becomes a lot more menacing when they put it in writing.
Yeah. But yeah, so this is a troubling escalation on the already disturbing right word trend that
we've been seeing in Indonesia over the last few few years and it scared tourism officials as much as human rights groups in a press conference meant to la international
condemnation law and human rights minister yosana laoli explained the difficulties for such a
culturally and ethnically diverse nation to try to craft a criminal code that quote accommodates
all interests end quote and so apparently their solution was just not to do that and instead of
they would they pass some draconian religious bullshit.
Yeah, that sounds scary. It's a good
thing we don't have crazy religious bullshit in our
legal system here in the US. Right? Yeah.
This is an over there problem.
But yeah, so if you've got any upcoming
Indonesian travel, I suggest you
rethink it or at the very least, try not to get
fucked by anything but the criminal code while you're there.
And we'll be back with even more
atheist travel tips
after a word from our second sponsor this week,
Allbirds.
Oh, no, no.
Well, hey there, Santa.
What's the matter?
It's these black old-timey boots of mine, squiggles.
They soak in water like an Italian foxhound,
leaving me wet and squishy.
Do Italian foxhounds?
You know what?
Never mind.
Have you tried the Allbirds Mizzle Collection?
What's the Allbirds Mizzle Collection?
Designed for those who won't take snow for an answer,
the Mizzle features built-in puddle guard technology to keep the winter wonderland where it belongs.
Not in your shoe.
And with Allbirds, you'll enjoy the added comfort of treading lighter on the planet. It's true. I own Allbirds shoes for summer and winter.
They're stylish, keep me dry, and they're better for the planet with zero net carbon footprint in
their creation. That's why I, Heath Enright, personally endorse them as a product. Uh, Santa,
what is Heath Enright doing here? Oh, he shows up every year to argue about whether or not he should be on the naughty or nice list.
I just want to clarify the standards.
I see.
This holiday season, get on their nice list when you shop the Allbirds Mizzle Collection.
Discover your perfect pair at allbirds.com today.
That's A-L-L-B-I-R-D-S dot com.
All right, Santa.
We'll get you dry in a flash with some wool dasher mizzles. Oh, damn it, Heath. Oh, uh, hello, Santa. We'll get you dry in a flash with some wool dasher mizzles.
Oh, damn it, Heath.
Oh, uh, hello, Santa.
Wool?
You guys know each other?
Yes, we dated in college.
Ah, got it.
Awkward.
And we're back in Dragnet News. you hear that podcast listener listen closely that's right
it's the clarion call of a ram's horn a conch blown at dawn as the tide rises the trumpets
of gondor themselves because bigots have launched a drag show reporting website and you get a chance to mess with it.
Hypothetically.
I am Alaska Thunderfuck Spartacus.
Let's hear it, everybody.
Mix it up.
Yeah, they also had to unveil a smoke signal based version
in case bigot vigilantes had to shoot out
the electrical substations that powered their servers,
as is so often the case.
Yeah.
So the bigots in question
are the Texas Family Project,
an anti-LGBTQ organization
that wants to, quote,
stop the left from indoctrinating kids,
confusing children about changing their gender,
and, quote,
undermining parents' ability
to protect their children's innocence,
end quote.
And is run by Sarah Gonzalez, a
host for the conservative broadcast Blaze TV and person who is just as pretty as her
soul.
Yeah, she looks like a fluffer for the NXIVM cult.
That's like really a lot.
And this is not Gonzalez's first foray into lying about drag queens, by the way.
Last month, she appeared on Tucker Carlson, where she showed a clip from an adults-only
drag show claiming it was an all-ages event.
And then her organization led a protest against a transgender story time at a bookstore because
they hosted a transgender individual who read three children's books about gender to commemorate
the last day of
national transgender awareness week and now they have the straight up jankiest website imaginable
for their idiotic cavalcade of followers to target people with defend kids tx.com
larry did you name the website one letter away from defend kid sex again
well did you now okay all right here's the thing about that y'all
and look i logged on to this thing already and it's ddos protection makes it load like it's the
last remaining website on dial up so i'm not sure how useful this is going to be for bigots anyway. I had to wait while like an operator unplugged a cord somewhere
and then like used a soldering iron.
It was a blacksmith.
It was a lot involved.
Right.
But if you do want to wait an hour or two and you do get through,
just in case, whatever you do,
don't send them a bunch of fake drag show leads making their website useless okay especially if
you're like good with computers definitely don't make some you know basic python code that could
submit you know thousands of random entries to that website a minute costing them money for extra
data storage while making their website useless that is illegal and laws are very important to
us here at the scathing atheist sure so don't do that. They sure are. Don't.
And in demographic content
warning news tonight,
back on episode 507,
we talked about the number
of atheists in Canada
doubling over the past 20 years,
coincidentally announced
only a few months
after we did a live
GAM record there.
And now we have
equally good demographic news
out of England
only a few weeks
after we did a live
GAM record there.
Coincidence?
Huh?
Yes.
Because according to
census data released
last week,
for the first time
since,
I guess,
probably 597 CE,
the majority of people
in England and Wales
are not Christian.
Okay,
we had lots
of deconversion sex
during those two trips.
Like,
people stopped seeing God.
That's what they said to me.
They said that.
Yep.
No, no.
My sexual performance does get described
as the problem of evil
more than I would like.
It's true.
There you go.
So yeah, so England saw a nominal rise
in all their religious minorities,
or at least all the ones that like
have an official list on the census,
Buddhist, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, and Sikh,
as well as a small uptick
in the catch-all other religion category.
The most significant of those was a 32% rise in the Muslim population from 4.9% to 6.5%,
which corresponded with a 320% rise in conservatives freaking the fuck out about
Muslims taking over their country. But clearly the group really taking over the country is the
non-religious. Just in the last 10 years, the share of people in England and Wales
identifying as atheist, agnostic,
or no religion at all
has jumped by 47%,
from 25% of the entire population
to over 37%.
Yeah, and the new defender of the faith
is King Charles,
the saddest defender ever.
It's true.
Between Brexit and their performance in the World Cup, though,
I mean, can you blame them at this point?
Can you blame them?
They're doing well in the Cup.
I was just hoping that joke worked.
They are exactly tied in soccer skill with the United States.
That's how good they are.
That's on record.
But the most significant news here is, of course,
where all the newly minted
non-believers are coming from, right?
And if all the minority religions
are growing, it can only really be one place,
right? Or, sorry, actually, it can be
two places because the number of people who chose not to answer
decreased by almost half a million people since
the 2011 census, too. And it's
the third place because they're still
making new English
and new Welsh people. But the main driver was the precipitous drop in Christians, which plummeted from an already
respectably low 59.3% in 2011 to just 46.2% today.
That's a drop of damn near 6 million people.
But, and this is the key to the whole fucking thing, the rise in nuns was over 8 million.
Which tells you an awful lot about how fast those Christians are aging their way out of the population.
So, I guess as is so often the case on this show, the upbeat close at the end of the story is how close to death old people are, I guess.
We're working that 5G and the COVID.
Yeah, really. Turning off their heaters.
And finally tonight,
if you combine the spreading of a virus
and some bigotry and some captivity
and throwing a really bad smell,
you get a, well, you get a typical Uber ride in Texas.
We've experienced them.
It's also a great way of describing religion
almost anywhere
in all of history. Well,
apparently all that stuff is combining
together recently. According to
a recent AP News article,
Christian rideshare drivers across
the country are using the captive
audience opportunity and
preaching the goddamn gospel at
their customers. What?
What do they think? They, public school coaches here?
So according to the rules of both Uber and Lyft,
drivers are not allowed to do any religious discrimination.
At least until the Supreme Court hears a case about
sincerely held fucking biblical taxi doctrine.
I'm sure we'll find out.
But neither of the major rideshare companies
has any rule against drivers providing unsolicited religious conversion speeches
to the riders stuck in their backseat. And that's got to change. So like I'm thinking about signing
up as a driver just long enough to do a few satanic rituals with like aggressive milk pouring
after church pickups. I don't know. Or at least on the other end, you could just make sure you
keep a satanic idol, a cup of blood
and a ritual dagger on hand whenever
you hail a ride.
It's like, hey, I canceled on a black
guy to pick you up. Don't spill your
blood.
New seats.
This is a big new trend now.
Evangelical Christian drivers are turning
their cars into rolling ministries.
For example, Pastor Kenneth Drayton proudly described his extremely creepy version of this during an interview,
saying, the car is such an ideal place to do this because it's personal.
And then he detailed the method like a fucking sex criminal.
He said, I start by playing classical music to encourage a calm, pleasant mood.
I start by playing classical music to encourage a calm, pleasant mood.
My priority is to introduce passengers to Christ, but I'm respectful if they're not receptive.
I think he's lying.
I don't think he's lying.
I don't try to preach.
I focus on the love of God and avoid the doctrine.
Oh, well, in that case, it is literally impossible for your goal to be to change their religion and to be respectful yep right like that's like that's like saying like but my goal is to kick
them in the face non-violently yeah i just love that he tries to smooth it in with the horn
concertos yeah right oh lovely aren't they yeah You know what isn't lovely? The fires of hell.
Let me tell you, friend.
Did you dive out the window?
Yeah.
So most people don't want to talk to their driver about anything.
Yeah.
I like to carry a pane of glass to just raise up with my hands if they talk.
But here's my question.
Where the fuck are all these Uber evangelists when I'm riding?
Thank you.
I would love for this to happen,
specifically this version of Uber driver talking.
I feel like the ugly altar boy who never got abused,
just like no love.
It's a weird feeling.
And speaking of which, I have a favor to ask.
So all of us, we're all going to be in New York City together next week.
If anyone listening in New York City together next week. If anyone listening in New York City right now comes across an Uber or Lyft driver
who does the evangelism thing,
please write down the name and plate
so we can request them.
It's going to be a lot.
We will build that function into the app ourselves.
Oh, yeah.
I know I fucking rearranged my Christmas list
when I saw this story.
Noah taking Uber like down
the street to the gas station and back
again over and over again
hoping to get a bite.
Alright, well I guess we've all got letters to
Santa to update so we're going to wrap up the headlines
there. Heath, Eli, thanks as always.
To Monji. Hey, when we come back
David Aiko pauses book to
argue with our assessment of it to this
point.
I'd love it if our ongoing discussion of insane anti-Semitic conspiracy theories could be less fucking topical,
but that just ain't the world we live in. So it's time for another timely edition of Everything You Need to Know.
When we last checked in with David Icke's book,
Everything You Need to Know,
Davey was bitching about kids these days
and their damn political correctness.
And now, after 380 pages of anti-Semitism,
he's going to take on that spurious notion
that he is an anti-Semitism, he's going to take on that spurious notion that he is an anti-Semite.
Yeah, it's a chapter about the underhanded campaign to paint him as anti-Semitic and
the evil Jewish cabal that controls that campaign.
Right, yeah.
First Kanye, now David Icke.
I think maybe nobody's an anti-Semite, you guys.
Maybe it's nobody.
Yeah. So he opens by
reiterating the idea that the best thing you could do with
bad ideas is bring them out into the open
for debate. And look, if I'm selling
bad ideas, I would say that too.
Right? Sure. Hell, I'm responsible
for a bunch of the anti-Semitism that's
crept into modern dialogue. You're welcome.
I'm David Icke. Right.
And then he spends a long
fucking time bitching about those assholes in germany that wouldn't let him spew his anti-semitism
which is i just i love that he immediately has to bring up germany he's like oh there's another
great accidental refutation of your sunlight is the best disinfectant argument the nation of
germany yeah well because if anyone can learn a thing or two about the consequences of hate speech
from David Icke,
it's Germany.
Germany.
Yeah.
Although I did enjoy
this part a lot
where he tells the story
about the hotel in Berlin
that canceled him.
They found out
he rented a conference room,
so they just canceled
the whole event
without telling him,
and he's all mad about it.
He makes a huge deal
about how the hotel
wouldn't even give him a reason.
And then very next sentence,
it's Zionist conspiracy.
That's so good.
Speaking of which,
I will give eight bajillion Heath points
for anyone who books
and then cancels David Icke
and tells him,
hi, yeah, we're canceling
because of a Zionist conspiracy. Yeah, we heard from the Zionists tells him, hi, yeah, we're canceling because of a Zionist conspiracy.
Yeah, we heard from the Zionists.
Yeah, no, he, folks,
he literally has a sentence in here
about how those vicious Zionists
are falsely accusing him of anti-Semitism.
This is also where we get mentioned number four
of George Soros in the book.
That's four of 90.
Yep.
We have four down now.
And he says, this journalist called me a racist conspiracy theorist who identified Soros as an enemy of humanity.
He said that.
But that's crazy because Soros is the enemy of humanity.
I'm just saying a factual statement.
It's not a conspiracy. Yeah. I'm just saying a factual statement.
It's not a conspiracy.
Yeah, no, here's a direct quote.
The claim that when I say reptilians,
I am using this as a code for Jews.
Evidence?
Nill.
Isn't there?
Dude, you just call them
to Zionists a couple of...
Like, are you saying
that there are Gentile Zionist reptiles?
David, you said that reptilians call their god
yahweh and then named several jewish families as examples of reptilian very recently in fairness
though he actually does suggest that gentile zionist reptiles are out there being tricked by the Jewish magic. I guess that doesn't make it better.
But what are the odds of multiple groups accusing him of anti-Semitism at the same time?
It must be a setup, right?
Coordinated attack?
Yeah.
At that moment when he said that,
he was literally talking about a setup
by the Jewish-controlled media.
And the setup was to ask him questions
and let him answer those questions.
He agreed to do an interview with Channel 4 News.
And then he was like, wait,
they're trying to set me up to say my face ideas.
I won't do it.
Got him.
Yes.
So he has a few paragraphs of what I call
some of my best rhetorical examples are black
and then he accidentally includes a quote that emphasizes how wrong he is again at the end of
the chapter right or the subchapter anyway like he puts out this like very reasonable definition
of anti-semitism the uk's labor party published and it's just this clear, concise definition that exactly describes David Icke.
Right.
But he's trying to say it in a weird voice
to make us disagree with it.
He's like,
don't you see how that definition
could mean literally anyone
who talks about the blood libel?
I mean, come on, people.
Which Semitic people can you say
are eating the eyeballs of orphans for magic power?
Which can you say? Right, yeah of orphans for magic power which can't
yeah yeah but the jews do control hollywood and then there's this weird bit where he's like but
and where is the condemnation of i forget the group but you know jewish group x that's been
listed as a terrorist organization by the fbi and i'm like well well then the condemnation is on the
fbi's list of terrorist organizations bro that's a's a bad list, you know, that's what they do
when they're doing that. Yeah, and he's
mad. He's like, yeah, the FBI used to care
about this stuff. What happened to COINTELPRO
when they used to care about this?
And of course, since we've been
talking about Jews for several pages now, we're deep
into our discussion of the mistreatment of
Palestinians. And this is
another great example where I'm like, yeah, man,
I agree that Israel mistreats the
Palestinians. I don't agree that that's
because they're shape-shifting mind
lizards from Saturn. You see where
we drew the line, right?
Fences, planetary
rings, pretty similar
if you think about it. And they do get awfully
defensive about them.
Hey, David, here's an idea. Whenever you're
about to try a because in your thoughts, just chop it, right?
Don't do the because.
Becusing is tricky for you.
You're going to hurt yourself.
Yeah, you're not good at becusing.
It can be quite tricky.
And look, I also agree that criticism of the Palestine issue is too often equated with anti-Semitism, right?
But that's not what you were doing.
Nope.
Right?
You've had us for like 400 pages and this is the
first time that subject has come up you were talking about how they control the world with
lizard magic chop it yeah in this section he seems to be under the impression that a true anti-semite
couldn't be right about anything involving the jews Right. Well, and also, again, his counterexamples are so bad.
He's like, it's gotten to where putting up an Orthodox Jew crossing sign is labeled anti-Semitic.
Okay.
Like, for real things.
He tells that story.
That's a real thing that he talks about.
And he's mad about it.
Somebody made a street sign with literally the silhouette of a guy in a stereotypical orthodox jewish hat
and david eich is mad that anybody got mad about that sign so i'm dying to know how a driver was
intended to react to jewish guy crossing as a sign like like if the sign didn't have the hat
what would go wrong in the head of David Icke
and the maker of that sign?
Freedom.
So, and then he cites the BDS movement,
the Boycott, Divest, and Sanction movement.
And he's like, see, this isn't anti-Semitic,
but he's like, but they won't let me talk
at the things for it.
And I'm like, but the fact that you show up, right?
That's proof that the BDS promoting events
often become anti-Semitic, Davey.
Like anytime you show up in an argument,
the other side is automatically right.
Yeah, buddy, you're like a stud detector for bigotry.
Yeah, no, absolutely.
At a David Icke talk, you find a bigot every 16 inches.
I think that's about right.
Yeah, no, actually, right, yeah.
And then he's like, you know, the hotel canceled
because they said it would be controversial.
They didn't cancel the G20
for fear of public backlash.
I'm like, do you think you're as important
as the G20, Davey?
He sure does, no illusions.
He sure does.
And seriously, David,
you think interdimensional lizard demons
control the world,
but they're not part of the G20?
Of course they would be part of it.
At least have insane bigotry that's
logically coherent, is what I'm saying.
Just think it through.
He's like, it's gotten to where our Canadian professor
can't even be a 9-11 truther now
without being fired.
Oh, I remember this guy.
He was like Jordan Peterson XP
and then nobody liked him.
So he very clearly got rebooted as Jordan Peterson 98.
He goes, I'm not talking about all Jews here, just the ones in the evil cabal.
That's for realsies in this book.
Yep.
Actually, what he says.
And then he spends a huge amount of the book trying to sell us on this anti-Semitism isn't
a big deal because
there aren't that many jews arguments okay i was about to say do it he said because and i was like
you got to chop it but chopping it because there doesn't really save you no not really maybe don't
say the stuff before the because either and then you're you're all set but he tells us that the
real cause of anti-semitism as he explains on page 397 of this book,
is all those uppity Jews.
Like, he gives an example of an Irish journalist
getting fired for trumped-up charges of anti-Semitism,
but the example is so bigoted.
It's like the guy basically said,
well, there's no gender pay gap here.
Do you really think Jewish women would work here
if they weren't getting paid the same as the...
Jesus.
Look, I could say this because we had a
potato holocaust. Trust me.
We're allowed...
We can do the handshake. Never forget.
He's like, it's gotten to where Amazon
will barely even sell my Nazi
shit. Yeah, and he is
not just talking about his book. I'm certain
of it. Yeah.
Yeah, and also I have to clear this up because he keeps talking about his book. I'm certain of it. Yeah. Yeah, and also I have to
clear this up because he keeps talking about
it's where you'll get in trouble
for having an opposing view on history.
That's a euphemism for lying, though,
bro. Yeah. Having an opposing
view on history.
So, okay. And then we return to
the subject of Palestine in a subchapter called
Shoot the Messenger, Delete the Message. And I
have to preempt this by saying like,
dude, your message
about the mistreatment
of the Palestinian people
would hit a lot harder
if it didn't come like
after 20 fucking pages
of you bitching about hotels
that canceled your shows first.
Yeah, I'm kind of fighting it hard
to believe that you're concerned
with the plight of Palestinians
when according to the book
I'm holding, the end game
of the people oppressing them is to
suck out Gaza's spiritual
energy to feed a multidimensional
demon. Yeah, right.
He's saying they have good orphan
eyeballs. It's a compliment, Eli, if you think
about it. It's a compliment to Israel
too. Good taste in orphan eyeballs.
He loves everybody. He's just a
nice guy so no here
actual quote from the chapter about how anti-semitic he isn't quote the careers of even
jewish academics have been destroyed when they have spoken out against the behavior of israel
and the saturnic rothschild mafia and the sabbatian frank is secret society core of Zionism.
Jesus Christ.
And then he talks about the evil anti-defamation league again in the,
in the chapter about how he's mislabeled as an anti-Semite.
Superman punches people.
That's assault.
That's assault.
Yeah.
And he's a secret journalist controlling the media typical yeah right right
oh he's like can you believe that these assholes compared the rise in anti-semitism in the u.s
during the trump administration to the rise of nazis in germany can you guys is this on
and immediately after that he says but they are being uppity and nobody's considering that when neo-nazis do a
hate crime like you got to drop down the the hate crime to like medium bad or something you know
you have to consider everything he really makes that argument yeah but it's okay because he he
says he's like i'm not against jews i'm against zionists you know especially the ones at the adl
the american jewish committee's project interchange and the Jewish Institute for National Security Affairs.
Yeah, it's very clear at the end here
that he wants to name his Jewish best friends,
but he hates Jews, so he just does the first one.
Yeah, I can't list a bunch of Jewish groups
that he supports or anything in there.
And then suddenly, and without warning,
he's talking about how they're going to sneak microchips
into your antidepressants.
It was literally,
it was so jarring
that I had to check
if I'd accidentally skipped a page,
even though this rant
started on the middle of a page.
I did the same thing.
I did it because I read it on an iPad
and then I sort of go back
to Noah's notes to see where I am.
And I was like,
oh no, I've gotten lost forever.
Out of nowhere
these are two consecutive
sentences in the book that he
wrote on purpose one says
naive politicians supporting
censorship don't realize
that it'll eventually apply to them
next sentence the
arcontic reptilian control system is a
multi-dimensional multi-leveled
multi-faceted absolutely incessant perceptual onslaught on the human mind.
Back to back.
Normal, normal, chill thought.
And just as suddenly and jarringly, he's now talking about how political correctness is killing comedy again.
Right. He bemoans a call to create a national hate crimes registry
that might restrict those convicted
of hate crimes from working with kids.
How the fuck can you be against that,
man? Okay, Ed Norton
was the Nazi from American
Nazi, but he was also Smoochie
the Rhino. Wake up, people. He is
a multifaceted.
Yeah, so no, he's like, you know, they
trust Jewish groups to count how much actual
anti-Semitism there is, and
you can't trust those shifty
bastards. I read
Merchant of Venice. You're not fooling me.
No, he didn't.
No, and Eli didn't read this book either.
I read Merchant of Venice.
Okay, I believe
that.
So then he's like, oh, so all of a sudden
just desecrating a person's grave
for being Jewish is a hate crime?
That was always a
hate crime, dude. Okay.
To be fair, this
example did give me some pause for
the plans I have about Supreme Court
justices. I feel like
it'll be okay if I leave a note.
If I just leave a note explaining
myself.
And he's like, but what about all of those
Jews that do hate crimes to themselves
just to run up the numbers? It's probably
not as bad as they say it is.
Okay. And I honestly can't tell
which way David Icke is judging
that. But regardless,
the Jussie Smollett argument
for Holocaust denial, I did not see that
coming. Did not think he was going to try that one.
Oh, God. He's like,
you know, they want students to report each other
for using slurs, just like
the Nazis wanted people to turn
each other in for different types
of things. Yeah, and
Noah's not being hyperbolic, by the
way. David Icke literally compares
reporting hate crimes
to turning Jews into the Stasi.
Yeah.
Because report.
That's the word.
Right, exactly, exactly.
The bad part was turning in, obviously.
And then he wraps up by explaining
two of the important
Jew-lizard magic society
controlling techniques
in a subchapter called Must Knows.
The first is called
Problem Reaction Solution,
because he sucks at naming shit,
but it's the idea that they create the
problem so that they can implement the solution.
His first example is the
time that the Schmerscher
staged 9-11.
Not anti-Semitic.
See last section of this chapter.
Yeah, right, right.
His second example is that time they
fooled people into thinking that brexit was a bad idea wait what yeah okay so he's saying the lizard
demons who control the world we're like all right guys i know we usually just use impossibly powerful
energy magic to like get the stuff we want but what if we try just a referendum this time? And they lost.
And they lost, yes.
Seriously?
Don't use that example.
That's dumb.
Oh, that's great.
A moment where he's just like he's bitching about people
he doesn't like.
He refers to a BBC presenter
as Nikki.
Treat those questioning
climate change with disdain
and we must remove Assad.
He is a war criminal, Campbell.
Exact words.
Yeah.
He might as well just refer to me as Noah,
wears his socks on his feet
and doesn't spontaneously burst into flame
when he brushes his hair illusions.
What the fuck are you talking about, man?
Heath never shat his pants
because they wouldn't let you use the bathroom
at the all-you-can-eat buffet,
but I'll be damned if I'm not getting 11 plates and right.
Exactly, yeah.
Okay.
And, well, I can't say mine about Eli
because of what I learned in this chapter.
Well,
there you go.
I won't.
So now,
but his second society controlling technique named with equal verb,
of course,
is the totalitarian tiptoe.
I can tell what he means to say,
but when he describes it,
he just describes doing a thing in steps.
Yeah.
It's like he listened to Heath's advice
and got it wrong about the before and after the because.
Yeah.
No, no, okay.
I learned this.
Step one, I'm going to stop you right there.
I love that he thinks he caught someone
being sneaky with a tiptoe here.
Like governments are making laws against hate crimes
and David Icke was like,
aha, what are you doing?
And the government's like,
we're making a law against hate crimes.
It's in the news.
We'll write it down.
First, they came for the hate crimes.
Wait, what?
Yeah.
And then the chapter ends,
except it contains a postscript.
The chapter.
The chapter has a postscript
where he wants to quote
some bigoted Israelite talking about Palestinians.
So he finished this chapter
and he was just like, I really need to
hammer home how racist the
Jews are. So let me add this.
He ended his chapter on what a bigot
he's not with like,
oh, one more thing I don't like about Jews.
I just remembered.
And then the postscript ends, except that it has its own postscript.
Two things about Jews I don't like.
Two things.
So he can bitch about Google going after conspiracy theorists, right?
So he also finished this and he's like, you know, I didn't think I hammered home the i'm being deplatformed issue well enough either so let me uh let me throw that in again yeah and you know
who else got deplatformed for criticizing israel humble carpenter named jesus christ
of nazareth galilee whatever all right well somehow this book has gotten more anti-semitic
in every chapter.
So I'd imagine when we come back next month, we're going to have to translate it out of German.
But we'll find out for sure in the next installment of Everything You Need to Know.
Before we deflate this balloon tonight,
I want to remind everybody that there are still tickets available for our live show in Seattle.
All the VIP and Platinum tickets are sold out,
but there are still general admission tickets available.
If you're interested and you're going to be in the Seattle area on March 18th,
check the show notes for a link to get your tickets
or just go to GodawfulMoviesLive.com.
Anyway, that's all the blessing we've got for you tonight.
We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more.
If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode
of our sister show's hot friend, Godawful Movies,
doing a semination on Tuesday and an even new episode of our
half-series show, Citation Needed, debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday.
Obviously, I need to thank Heath Enright for his
generosity, Eli Bosnick for his eccentricity,
and Lucinda Lusions for her electricity.
I also want to thank Jason and Olivia for providing
this week's Farnsworth quote. And by the way, if you too
are an atheist in Iowa, be sure to check out
the Iowa Atheist and Freethinkers at
IowaAtheist.org. You'll find it linked on the show notes if you don't want a
membership. Most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's most beautiful
bipeds, Debra, iHeartDogs, Quick Cat, Ancom, Cat Dad, Dallin, Jeff and Maggie,
Andy, Natasha, James, Mark, Robert, Mike, Matthew, Dude, George, James, Steve,
Teresa, Corey, Mutated Wisdom in Oakland, we pronounce it Vice President, Harris,
Carol, Thomas, Slurter Bartfest, and other Corey Debra I Heart Dog Squid Cat Ancom
Dallin Jeff and Maggie Andy and Natasha
who are so badass China knows
better than to take their good air
James Mark Robert Mike Matthew Dude
George James and Steve who's cocks are longer
than an early voting line in Atlanta
and Teresa Corey Mutated Wisdom
Veep Harris Carroll Thomas Slardabartfest
and other Corey who are so ferocious they could beat up
a werewolf beating up a vampire.
Sorry, this was hopefully my last chance to make Herschel Walker jokes, and I'm getting the most out of it, damn it.
Together, these 24 people, couples, adjusted attributes, and clarifications came together to keep us together this week by giving us money.
If you, too, have money you want us to have instead, you can make a per-episode donation to patreon.com slash scathingatheist,
whereby you'll earn access to an extended ad-free version of every episode,
or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist, whereby you'll earn access to an extended ad-free version of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on
the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com.
And if you'd like to help, but spare money doesn't
exist in December, you can also help a ton by leaving
us a five-star review, telling a friend about the show, and following us
on social media. Legal services for this
podcast are provided by the Law Offices of P. Andrew Torres,
Tim Robinson handles our social media, and our audio engineer
is Martin Clark, who also wrote the music he was using in this episode,
which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments,
or death threats, you'll find all the contact info
on the contact page
at skatingads.com.
Trade late nights
for silent nights
and get started
with stamps.com today.
That's the word.
What?
It's in the bus streets.
Gross.
It's in the bus streets gross it's in the bus street
what does that even mean
I'm just gonna say
wait till you hear what I have to say in the next one
damn it
design for those who won't take snow for an
answer that's what it is sorry
you got off easy okay
you want to trade
some wordplay right there.
Yeah.
You mean rapists?
Because that sounds
like you're saying
rapists.
The preceding podcast
was a production of
Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC.
Copyright 2022.
All rights reserved.