The Scathing Atheist - 529: Phoenix Rising Edition

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

In this week’s episode, the Catholic Church takes a firm stance against city planning, we learn how thoughts and prayers took down the Medellin cartel, and we’ll watch a video that was too conspiratorial for YouTube. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Guest Links: Learn more about American Atheists’ convention here: https://convention.atheists.org/ --- Headlines: TX Bill would force all classrooms to contain 10 commandments display: https://friendlyatheist.substack.com/p/texas-bills-would-force-classrooms and replace qualified counselors with chaplains: https://friendlyatheist.substack.com/p/texas-lawmakers-want-to-replace-trained The Catholic argument against 15-minute cities https://catholicherald.co.uk/the-catholic-argument-against-15-minute-cities/  Chaz Stevens demanding a ban of ALL BOOKS in public schools of Broward County, Florida: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-us-ban-the-bible-in-florida-public-schools Chaplain awarded £10k after NHS Trust said diversity 'takes precedence' over religious belief https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/03/31/catholic-chaplain-award-nhs-trust-equality-religious-belief/  Evangelical douche nozzle sneaks into Nebraska school cafeteria to preach to kids: https://friendlyatheist.substack.com/p/nebraska-school-revamps-security Colombia's national police chief says exorcism and prayer used to fight crime and cartels: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/colombia-exorcism-prayer-used-fight-crime-cartels-general-henry-sanabria/?intcid=CNM-00-10abd1h

Warning, the following profanity contains an episode. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by Honey, Zip Recruiter, and by the new online source for pirated copies of the Kennedy assassination, Rip Zip Rooter. Rip Zip Rooter, because Marsh had an idea for a fake sponsor and British people are better at wordplay than us. And now, The Scathing Atheist. And now, The Scathing Atheist. Hi, this is Nick in the UK, where we currently have people raging against drag queen story hours at the same time as mourning the death of Lily Savage.

Look her up. I can confirm that we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey men slash women. Also, get your voter ID. We have voter ID now. Get your voter ID. We have voter ID now. Get your voter ID. It's Thursday. It's April 6th. And it's Maundy Thursday. Right.

To celebrate foot washing at best or penis washing by our Lord and Savior. Kind of weird. Either way, for a holiday. Yeah, no, there's no normal one. I'm no illusions. I'm Michael Marshall. I'm Heath Enright. And from Liverpool, England, Ann Arbor, Michigan, holiday. Yeah, no, there's still no normal one. I'm no illusions. I'm Michael Marshall. I'm Heath Enright. And from Liverpool, England, Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Waycross, Georgia,

this is The Scathing Atheist. On this week's episode, the Catholic Church takes a firm stance against city planning. We learn how thoughts and prayers took down the Medellin cartel. And we'll watch a video that was too conspiratorial for YouTube. But first, the diatribe. I've said a number of times on this show before that we as atheists kind of lucked out in terms of how wacky and stupid the religions we have to argue against are. Right? Like, the Bible could have been a very relevant book filled with historical facts, believable stories, fantastic advice, and present moral teachings.

It's not. But even without an extant God, it could have been. There are books that are filled with that shit they're just not the bible and how much harder would our job be if we couldn't dismiss their holy book by pointing out that it endorses slavery and includes a talking donkey likewise the religions themselves are nonsensical and contradictory like the problem of evil perfect example at least so far that is an insurmountable hurdle for the people that we find ourselves debating but it's not a problem inherent in theism just in monotheism

and just if the god in that monotheistic tradition is omnibenevolent right if they'd elected to go with a pantheon of gods with no one supreme over the others they'd have no trouble at all explaining why we should worship this particular god even if there is still evil in the world. They just elect to hamstring their argument in advance by claiming that their guy is omnipotent and omnibenevolent. So it's easy to think, or at least it's been easy for me to think in the past, that we just really got fortunate that none of the more logically defensible religions or holy books won out and became the major religions of today. But the more I reflect on it, the more I realize that luck doesn't really have anything to do with it. Their silliness is inevitable. See, the problem with religion, as always, is that it

isn't true. It's bullshit. And no matter how good your bullshit is, you're eventually going to have to prop it up with more bullshit. Of course, you can actually get away with this for a very long time if, A, you're a good liar, and B, you know that you're lying. And while that's almost certainly the case at the beginning of any religion, it can't be the case for long. So eventually, people will start seeking to answer the flaws inherent with the system, not with new lies, but with truths. the flaws inherent with the system, not with new lies, but with truths. And of course, truths never quite line up with the lies, so they have to start employing logical contortions. And if you do this long enough and you leave it in the hands of smart enough people, you inevitably wind up with a convoluted web of nonsense filled with very obvious flaws that will make the job of future atheists

easier and easier. Of course, when the underlying belief has truth value, it becomes easier to defend over time, right? It was, for example, way easier to poke holes in evolution 100 years ago. I mean, I should say good holes, right? Since there's no solid floor to the intellectual depths that they'll plumb in their effort to deny the observable in this instance. But the point is, the more we study the evolution, the more questions about evolution we've been able to answer, because evolution's true. But the more we study any particular religion, the more the questions just multiply. Consider the perfect example here, the Trinity. Now, if you knew you were lying and you knew that you were later going to have to defend that lie, you'd never come up with something as silly as a God that's part himself and part his kid and part a ghost, but all

the same guy, but still different guys. There's literally no way to describe it without admitting how silly it is, right? But if you thought Jesus was real and God was real and there was just the one God, you kind of have to start divvying him up in this way. Add to that the fact that people want to deify the voice in their heads, and you're kind of stuck with this weird-ass tripartite God. And when you really look into these things, you find that's always the cause. Look long enough at any wacky contradiction in Christianity or any religion older than its founder, really, and you're going to see some hole in the plot that it was originally created to spackle over. I mean, we don't know enough about ancient Judaism, but if we did, I'm sure we could even figure out what sillier implication Blom's talking donkey

was meant to ameliorate. And that's a damn encouraging realization for two reasons, right? The first is that we didn't just lock out. Even if they came up with a brand new and improved theology tomorrow, we would know that over time it would inevitably get sillier and right the first is that we didn't just luck out even if they came up with a brand new and improved theology tomorrow we would know that over time it would inevitably get sillier and sillier until atheists could easily dunk on it without a running start but the second somewhat less obvious one is that this process doesn't have any logical end point save the dissolution of the entire religion. In other words, all of the world's religions are still getting dumber. And they always will be. They're talking about you, Jesus.

We interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are the Ox and Panda, my level, Heath Enright and Michael Marshall. Fellas,

are you ready to mix it up? We got Ox, Panda pan level and a microphone. Who's that? I've got to say, I love life in high school. You know, my friends are pan and I'm just aux. Awesome. All right. Well, while we try to wrap our minds around the idea that anyone, anywhere ever didn't want to fuck Michael Marshall,

we're going to pause for a word from our first sponsor this week, Honey. Hey, Heath. Heath, what is up with all of these cereal boxes, dude? Hey, no. Yeah, I'm saving up box tops. Oh, is there a promotion or something? No, no, but I feel like they're just about to start one, and I want to get ahead so I can get some of that sweet discount money when it happens.

So you bought a bunch of cereal at regular price to eventually maybe get a discount? Yes. Heath, if you're looking for discounts, why don't you just try Honey? Oh, what's Honey? So glad you asked. Today's episode is sponsored by Honey, and it's the easy way to save when shopping on your iPhone or computer.

It's the free shopping tool that scours the internet for promo codes and applies the best one it finds to your cart. Oh, does that work for cereal? Sure does. Imagine you're shopping on your favorite site for cereal. I have several. I figured you would.

So when you check out the honey button appears and all you have to do is click apply coupons. Wait a few seconds as honey searches for coupons. It can find for that site. And if honey finds a working coupon, you'll watch the prices drop. I actually use Honey on my laptop and I saved $15 on a vintage video game

made of punch cards. Super easy. It just happens automatically and it doesn't just work on desktops. It also works on your iPhone too. Just activate it on Safari on your phone and save on the go. That sounds great.

I feel like I'm straight up missing out. Well, if you don't already have Honey, exactly that about missing out. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting the show. Get PayPal honey for free at joinhoney.com slash scathing. That's joinhoney.com slash scathing. Okay, great.

Definitely going to do that. Anyway, I'm just going to get back to this. Wait, you're still going to do the cereal box thing? A lot. My God, man, is that Captain Crunch? So sharp. Are you going to be okay? It's like my mouth had a motorcycle accident.

Gravel. Nose skin. And now, back to the headlines. In our lead story tonight, when it comes to Republican educational educational reform it's not enough to just take true things out you also have to put false things in and complete the circle and we're going to open up this segment talking about two efforts to do so in texas that are being debated as we record one would require the 10 commandments to be prominently displayed in every single texas classroom from kindergarten on up and And the other one, believe it or not, is way the fuck worse. Okay, I get that teachers in Texas might want anti-murdering visual aids,

but that's like the worst one you can pick, right? So, okay, so let's start with this Ten Commandments bullshit. This one is SB 1515, and it's a companion in the state house, HB 3448. And it's clearly heard about a lot of the shenanigans that we secularists have pulled in response to laws forcing schools to post in god we trust shit so it's super specific about you know yeah you have to post all 12 of the 10 commandments and they must be prominently displayed on a sign that measures at least 16 by 20 inches that's um 40 by 50 centimeters if you're a communist thank you you're welcome it has to be it's it actually

says it has to be legible. They have to use the King James version. Doing technicality school. Yep. It has to be readable from any point in the room. What? Okay, so all rooms have to be empty. Got it.

Yeah, right. No one tall can stand in front of anyone. No physical objects. No blind people are allowed in school. They did not, however, think to specify that they needed to be in English. So Chaz Stevens is no doubt having some Arabic language ones printed as we speak. Excellent. And I will be sending a whole bunch of 16 by 20 inch golden calf statues with a flat side for the commandments.

There's no rule about obeying the commandments, just displaying in your face. That's fair. I also noticed that they've set a minimum size, but they didn't set a maximum size. So how about we just send them a sign that is exactly three inches smaller in all directions than the dimension of the classroom and then force them to display that? There's no way they can say that doesn't fulfill the visibility requirement. Right? Yeah. But again, that's the less disturbing of the two bills. The other one, SB 763, would seek to tackle the endemic shortage of qualified counselors in Texas public schools by adding unqualified ones.

Specifically, the bill would allow schools to hire chaplains in lieu of the legally required school counselor. And the bill goes out of its way to emphasize that the chaplains in lieu of the legally required school counselor. And the bill goes out of its way to emphasize that the chaplains are, quote, not required to be certified by the State Board of Education certification, end quote. In other words, no qualifications whatsoever are required for this publicly funded position. Written by people with no qualifications whatsoever for their publicly funded positions. Written by people with no qualifications whatsoever for their publicly funded positions. Guess that tracks.

Terrifyingly true, yeah. Now, of course, nothing in the bill says that the chaplains would have to be Christian, but obviously they all would be, right? Like no Texas school is going to bring in a mom

to talk to their students about test anxiety. No, that's true. But hiring a Buddhist might help the kids deal with flunking. You didn't fail. You achieved a state

of academic nothingness. That could work. Oh, there you go. Yeah. Well, and it's also worth noting, since it's probably cheaper to hire a pastor who just really wants

a captive audience than it is to hire an actual qualified counselor, social worker, or psychologist, no doubt many cash-strapped schools will replace secular help with religious bullshit. It would, this is true, be more beneficial to students if they replaced counselors with a goddamn Ouija board. And in motor cardinal sin news, the gap between

committed Christian and deranged conspiracy theorists continued to be slimmer than a communion wafer this week, with the Catholic Herald jumping on board the latest paranoia du jour, the 15-minute city. Well, yeah, if Catholic mass has anything to go by, they do hate doing things quickly, so... Right. Now, I'm sure there's many listeners and possibly a few cohorts who might not heard about the whole 15-minute city idea, but it's basically a concept dreamed up by city planning nerds to make it easier for you to get to the grocery store or to your kid's school or to your local doctor. The idea is that everything you need for your day-to-day life ought to be accessible within about a 15-minute walk of where you are, thus allowing us to save time and help our local communities thrive and drive our gas-guzzling cars less. Boo! Boo nerd hates freedom.

Un-American. Absolutely not. And to achieve this goal, city planners will put in place schemes discouraging drivers from driving through the busiest parts of the city, meaning that if you are going to drive, you just have to take the slightly longer way around. That's basically the entire idea. Well, yeah, right. It's basically what if things were better?

So we can already see why Catholics have an issue with it, I think, right? Sure. Look, I can already tell this probably seems completely ridiculous to you guys because where you are, anything within a 15-hour drive is considered a reasonable commute. But for those of us who don't want to spend our entire lives staring at some other guy's tailpipe, being able to walk to get groceries is pretty desirable.

Okay, but Marsh, have you seen us walk to have all that stuff within 15 minutes for us in America? That's like geometrically impossible to smush all that together so close. Like, I know you're married to a cartoon speed walker, but to picture the average American and now add the amount of food you imagine being purchased

by the average American for the walk home is even tougher. Okay, okay, that's fair. You think it's ridiculous and so do the Catholic Herald who are pretty sure this whole idea is just full socialism and not even the sell your

worldly possessions, give to the poor, eye of a needle, et cetera, kind of socialism either. As writer James Jeffrey outlined in an op-ed entitled The Catholic Argument Against 15 Minute Cities, there's just something about the thought of improved local infrastructure that's just too authoritarian, he says. And by that, he means too authoritarian for Catholics. Right. The obey my every whim or you're damned to eternal hellfire guys, those Catholics. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, back to our list of which types of consensual sex you're allowed to have. And the best thing about all of this panic is that at its core, the idea amounts to a few traffic calming measures. And so to object to something that benign, they've got to exaggerate to just insane degrees.

Like Jeffrey deserves some kind of medal for his effort where he manages to compare municipal fines by Oxford City Council to the actual Taliban. What? To the Taliban. The Taliban. See, okay, this is why we never should have pulled out of Afghanistan. It's grocery fascism is going to pop up. That's why we were there, preventing that. So as Jeffrey wrote, quote,

I've experienced transport being excessively controlled by the Taliban, and I can assure you it sucks. Their IED campaign in Afghanistan's Helmand province was so deadly effective that the British Army lost its freedom of movement. Admittedly, the use of IEDs is an extreme form of traffic fines. What?

But the principle is the same. Someone else interdicting your movement. Close quote. An extreme form of traffic fine? Yeah, much like carpet bombing is an extreme form of plowing i guess yeah you know lots of people forget about the commute in dresden after that whole thing it was fucking exhausting and that's the point and look i get it i get it i completely get what jeffrey means because you know i've never had had my head cut off by ISIS insurgents as part of a brutal terrorist attack. But I have had some of my hair

cut off by someone I've paid to give me a haircut. And in both cases, the principle is the same in that it's sharp objects cutting stuff. Yeah. Same sharpness, sharp.

I see two things that are the same. Okay, so this was the Catholic argument against the Taliban, not against the 15-minute city. The goalpost went from farmer's market to Taliban within like a paragraph. It did, it did. Now, obviously, this is just a ridiculous attempt by the Catholic Herald

to try and be relevant by jumping into culture wars about them damn wokes and their climate change agenda. But I do think this is a bit hypocritical of the Catholics in particular, because a lot of the objections to 15-minute cities from the conspiracy theorists boil down to essentially the fear that there's an obscenely wealthy global network of organizations that are determined to enrich themselves by lying to us, stealing our personal freedoms, exerting complete control over our behavior, and putting our kids in harm's way. All of which is the Catholic Church's whole deal. That's their whole thing. They are not in the position to cast the first stone here. I think not. And next up in headlines, we have a story about Chaz Stevens, the goat of

anti-theocracy trolling. He's a math nerd who lives in Florida, and apparently he's pretty comfortable financially. Maybe he's retired, I don't know. So he spends most of his time coming up with amusing ways to fuck with Christian right lawmakers. He's kind of like us,

but with money, he's financially comfortable. And his latest move is a delightful version of malicious compliance regarding the ridiculous new laws about book banning in Florida. Last week, he wrote a letter

to the administration of the Broward County public school system demanding that they remove every single book from their libraries because he finds every single book

in their libraries offensive. And according to the wording of their law that's just about to pass he is allowed to do that and they do indeed have to deal with it amazing and look if your standard is book that contradicts the teaching of the bible which is the standard that a lot of those parents are using that does describe all of books right yes right and i and i include the bible when i say that yeah plus i'm pretty sure all those books have arabic numerals on every single page and that's just indoctrination at that point yeah so big thanks to alan for sending the link skating news at gmail.com great stuff okay so the whole weird oddly sexual email rewards but that's just

for when eli's here then is it is it? Okay. Yeah, right. I mean, I thought maybe you'd have one, but you didn't. So one of the letters from Chaz was targeting the proposed legislation called HB 1069. It's basically an expansion of the fucking don't say gay bill. And it's almost certainly going to become the law very soon. Aside from the standard bigot boilerplate that they always put in stuff like this, it would give panicky Florida parents the right to personally object to any book

in the curriculum and or any book offered at the school library. The bill says, quote, any material that is subject to an objection must be removed within five school days of receipt of the objection and remain unavailable to students until the objection is resolved. Parents shall have the right to read passages of any material that is subject to an objection. If the school board denies a parent the right to read passages from that content, the school district shall discontinue the use of that material, end quote. Wait, so the parents have to be able to read the books themselves? This is Florida. Schools have been denying Floridians the right to be able to read

for generations. Yeah. There's another loophole in there for sure. So Chaz sent a letter to Broward County schools that both objected to every single book they have and also demanded to review

every single book that received an objection. That is now about 55,000 books or all of them. It's amazing how well you can demonstrate the stupidity of their laws by using them, right? By just using. Doing the law.

Yeah, malicious compliance is a beautiful thing when they're this ridiculous with the law. And here's a few highlights from the letter. After quoting their own stupid law, he explained that he finds math to be very sexual and honestly strong agree. Oh, multiplicationist. That's fucking. And he also finds any mention of dangling participles to be inappropriate for kids.

And then he writes, quote, it's my intention to use this stupid rule of theirs as stupidly as possible. The current legislation makes no demand upon a requester's agenda, nor mindset, nor ongoing use of brown acid. We've already had to deal with frivolous demands, including the ban of Huck Finn in Tampa. So, well, here we are. Even if you deny 55,000 book requests, you'll need to process each and every request.

thousand book requests you'll need to process each and every request sorry in advance and nothing personal but please stand by for an incoming barrage of bullshit end quote okay so yeah and admittedly the math thing's funny the dangling participle bit is brilliant but neither of them is dumber than objecting to michelangelo's david because his dick's out right right like i appreciate chaz's enthusiasm here, but it was only a matter of time before some Florida parent actually did this for realsies. That's true. Although, please stand by

for an incoming barrage of bullshit. Might as well be Florida state motto. It should be written on the wealthy signs when you enter the state. And the license plates, yeah. We'll send you some giant ones. You guys can put them up. Also worth noting, Chaz recently sent another letter to Broward County making a similar point, but citing the existing law called HB 1467.

That law is also about public school curriculum and parental read Christian rights about book banning. So Chaz wrote as allowed under Florida law HB 1467. I'm seeking the permanent online slash offline ban of the dictionary. And he explained that many of the words in that book can be considered offensive or even violent. No, that's true. So, yeah, Florida Republicans wrote laws that would ban a list of the words that make up our language.

That's a thing they did. Like, okay, yeah, they're evil, but at least they're fucking stupid too. Yeah. Something to cling to there. There's another motto for them. It's been the silver lining of this entire decade. Yeah.

All right. Well, on the off chance that Chaz is successful in his dictionary ban, I think we need to start harvesting good obscure word insults for when they're not allowed to look up what we just said anymore. So we're going to pause for a quick word from this week's other sponsor, ZipRecruiter. Must be willing to not dox me or make jokes about my mom. Okay.

Hey, Heath. What are you doing? Well, you know how Eli's off this week? Because he yanked off his own... Nope. Nope. I am not going to say that. We can't say that in the ad. Eli says that about me every time I'm off. But not in the ad though. Fine. Anyway, I figured while he was away,

I could see about replacing him permanently with somebody who doesn't dox me. So I'm running a classified ad. Heath, you can't replace Eli with a classified ad. No? No. You should try ZipRecruiter. These days, it can take up to 11 weeks on average to hire for an open position. That's almost two and a half months. But ZipRecruiter can help you find qualified candidates for all your roles fast. And right now, you can try it for free at

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It is. So speed up your hiring process with ZipRecruiter. See why 3.3 million businesses have come to ZipRecruiter for their hiring needs. Just go to this exclusive web address and try ZipRecruiter for free. ZipRecruiter.com slash scathing. Again, that's ZipRecruiter.com slash S-C-A-T-H-I-N-G. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Hey guys. So yeah, I'm ready to step in for Eli on the next headline bit whenever you are. Wow. ZipRecruiter is fast. Marsh was already here. Oh, right. Wow. Zip recorder is fast. Marsh was already here.

Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. So you, uh, you're ready to start recording. Wow.

And we're back next up in headlines in Nebraska for it news. There are four things that have kept me out of prison for violent crimes sativa indica sativa indica hybrids and the fact that i wasn't there when that evangelical dude started preaching to an entire airplane full of people and playing worship songs and his stupid little guitar like the dude literally brought me a weapon or or honestly a suppository depending on how quick the other passengers were to pull me off of him. But it turns out that that's not even the worst place to start randomly preaching to a captive audience that doesn't want to hear your bullshit, which we learned last week when evangelical douche nozzle Ryan Foley barged into the cafeteria of a Nebraska public high school and started screaming to the captive audience about the dangers of sin and the powers of Jesus Christ.

Okay. Well, I'm normally anti-bullying, but if this does not end with an atomic wedgie somehow, I'm going to be very disappointed. Yeah, that's fair. In all the bullies. I'd never seen this guy before

and now I've seen him, I've got to know, how is he only 20? In his TikTok videos, he looks like he's just escaped after being held hostage in the desert by ISIS for three months. He looks so rough. Yeah. So yeah, so he apparently told the school that he was just there to pick up his transcripts, but on the way out, he passed through the cafeteria and decided to yell about the power of Jesus. And honestly, I encourage you to watch the TikTok videos on this because it's as hilarious as it is enraging.

He starts the whole thing by telling everybody that when he was a student at the school, he was really popular and, quote, slept with anyone I wanted, end quote. But then he found out. That's exactly what the student body was doing. I've had sex with a woman. Dude, just say your thing. Right, yeah. Made it worse. Well, pretty much the entire student body starts cracking the

fuck up the instant he says the word Jesus. And then some fucking shop teacher shows up to escort him out while he rails about the dangers of Satan over his shoulders. Yeah. But like, I was really popular until I found Jesus is what counts for this guy's sales pitch.

So I'm guessing those school transcripts he was picking up, it didn't include any lessons in marketing. Yeah, right, right. If you want to sleep with anybody you want, avoid my religion.

Yeah. It's a really sad song in High School Musical. I was really popular until I found Jesus. Now, of course, this is disturbing for way more reasons

than just the church state separation stuff. After all, this bullshit happened on the same day as another school shooting, a distinction that the rest of the world refers to as a weekday, I think. So there are all kinds of reasons to worry about deranged adults getting unapproved access to schools full of kids. Yeah, and adults who use that access to brag about how much fucking they did in high school. No less, yes. So following some outraged feedback from parents, the school issued a statement the following

day, ensuring parents that they were reevaluating all their security procedures and moving a lot of administrative shit to online only. Now, given that this is Nebraska, I'm inclined to think that the outrage had less to do with the evangelism and more to do with the fact that some of his TikTok videos fully admits that he's watched a lot of trans and gay porn in his life. And that eventually led him to, quote, act on his homosexual desires, end quote. But the key here is that they're moving to a place where it takes more than I want to see how many A's I got again for a former student to get unfettered access to a room full of students. Yeah, I can't imagine he got a lot of A's, but it sounds like he got plenty

of D's anyway. He's just looking at the transcript. You need to add lots of sex right here at the bottom. Does it say anything here about how popular I was? It doesn't mention my popularity at all. You guys get back. I'll come back tomorrow. And

finally tonight, in Raising Cane news, Chief of Police for the entire nation of Colombia, General Henry Sanabria, is convinced that the Christian God of the universe has been on their side for decades. To be clear, on the side of law enforcement in the country of Colombia.

Really? Yeah, apparently God had a bit of a habit at some point. Nobody's perfect. Nobody's perfect. Whatever. Regardless, according to Sanabria, the biggest weapons at the disposal of Colombian law enforcement

are prayer and exorcism. They fight lots of literal demons, according to Sanabria, and the reason the cops win all the time is indeed catholic magic yeah i mean seventh highest murder rate in the world i'm just like maybe you leave the demons alone for a bit and you tackle the human criminals for a couple of days you know what you do you do you maybe focus up you do yeah so big thanks to h heiska for sending the link scathing news

gmail.com if you want to help out. So we learned about this very unorthodox law enforcement technique when General Sanabria did an interview last week with Semana Magazine. The interview was conducted inside his insane torture-themed office full of Catholic tchotchkes

and a comically oversized statue of Jesus on the cross. Yeah. It's absurd. It's amazing. I put a photo in the notes here so you guys can see it. I also found a different photo from a different room with that exact same ridiculous statue.

So either this guy has a bunch of these enormous blood spattered things or he carries around the same one everywhere he goes and puts it behind him for every photo op. Either way, it's insane. Yeah, normally this is a necklace. So now we should be clear to the listeners, this statue includes all the whip marks and shit. So it looks like Jesus just gave his cat a pill.

It's insane for a giant tortured to death guy statue. Thank you. Right? It is. He's also, he stood in front of it like he's proudly showing off what they confiscate in a drugs raid as well. He's so proud of it. Just like slapping it. And this motherfucker said he was the king of the Jews.

Yeah. It's so crazy. Look this up if you get a chance. He sees this thing every day. It takes up like half the office. It must. He has to like duck to get around it, to sit down.

So big. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's it. Maybe there's a law saying that he has to have it in his office and it has to be big enough to be seen from any part of the room. Where's Columbia's Shaz Estebals

when you need him to really test these laws? So the interview started with, I'm assuming, just like a basic question for the general. And this guy immediately launched into a tirade about his Catholic anti-demon magic. Like he was going to do that no matter what the first question was. He said that Colombian law enforcement has been doing the Catholic magic for at least 50 years now. And this led to the capture of several major criminals, including Pablo Escobar in 1993 using anti-demon magic. Jesus dicked around on that one for like almost 20 years, but he eventually got around to taking this series. So Colombia has a strong Catholic tradition, but it is a relatively

secular country at this point in terms of government. And it was nice to hear a little bit of sanity from President Gustavo Petro. The interview with Sanabria sparked a pretty big debate in the country. One side was pointing out there's a wizard guy in charge of the entire national police force. And the other side was pointing out there's a wizard guy in charge of the entire national police force and the other side was pointing out there's a wizard guy in charge of the entire national police force so in response president petro he did his best to explain like yeah we know that guy's a fucking crazy person we're keeping tabs just be cool about it without actually saying those exact words he said quote we know the beliefs of the general but we try to make sure that these beliefs do not affect the rules.

In actual quote. I mean, look, we know they're crazy, but we're hoping to contain it as basically how we run our courts and our Congress at this point. So I guess we can't really cast stones. Yeah, and I get it. You know, I agree with Petra.

You know, policing, it just isn't an area where God ought to be meddling. My Christ. Mwah. I'm so happy about that. Meddling. Oh, that's so good. I'm so mad I didn't find a way to work that out.

Well done. Okay. I'm so mad. Like I said, they're better at wordplay, man. It's a whole country. It's so smooth. Okay. One other thing.

I want to give a little credit to CBS News. They ended their article about this by adding almost exact quote, in recent days, Columbia employed more traditional methods to tackle crime, like when the Navy intercepted two giant submarines full of cocaine, just, you know, regular without magic. They do real police things too all right well apparently i've got to do aacon without my cocaine submarines now so i've got some phone calls to make i suppose uh that's gonna have to do it for the headlines heath marsh thanks as always and or occasionally as the case may be jumanji and when we come back we'll experience the level of

incomprehensibility immediately above speaking in tongues on the Nonsense Tile. You know, when you get 500 plus episodes deep into a podcast about atheism and skepticism, people sometimes ask how you find new questions to tackle after so long. But then I remind them that included in the questions we have to tackle are things like, okay, but then who taught the reptilian overlords how to manipulate genes in the first place? And then they understand. And then they also generally offer me a hug. And yes, that is pretty much exactly

the question we're going to be tackling on this week's God Awful Mini. So tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today? We watched What You Need to Know about the reptilian alien race. It's the story of what happens when you don't have a coherent narrative like David Icke, but you try to talk about that stuff.

I missed David Icke as we were watching this. It was really rough. It was a weird emotion. We get a little bit of Icke. We do get a little bit of Icke. At least we get to look at him. He's presented as an expert. It's so sad. It's so sad.

Well, sort of. Sort of. And Marsh, how bad was this mini? Well, if you loved the stories that you used to make up about your action figures when you were eight years old, but you really want to hear them recounted, half remembered by someone deep in the grip of a psychotic episode, you will love this movie. Yes.

All right, is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Yeah, I'm going to come right out with best worst Bible justification because I have watched a lot of longer films with you. And in the past, it's been like, oh, this is quite a long film. I'm not sure how they're going to get any biblical stuff in here. And then suddenly they take a turn and manage to get it in.

But somehow this seems to squeeze in that late Bible turn to something that's only 15 minutes long. It's like, this isn't going to be Bible-y. This can't possibly be Bible-y. Oh, wow, they got there. That's impressive. Yeah.

Basically an end card that's like, and the Bible is real. And also Jesus. Also plus Jesus. See, I was going to go with best worst smart guy sentence structure this is what i call cop speak when you have somebody who's like trying to speak and sound more intelligent than they really are like throughout it's it's it's a ton of fun we have a lot of fun yeah and the narrator is like carl the pug peg corn the cop also like That's the voice that we're literally hearing throughout.

He starts off trying to do like a Morpheus voice, but it does not stick. No. He's pretty bored. Okay. I was going to go with best worst argument with absolutely nobody. Right?

So the whole thing is this crazy narrator guy, I think in an argument with somebody, but we don't hear the other side of the phone call we just hear him so he's explaining his insane thing and then he'll be like okay but what about mermaids you might ask well they're fucking real who asked you what where are these questions coming from so yes all right so first note i have on this one is man nothing screams this is a video i should take seriously like a kaleidoscope opening. But apparently that's the production logo.

Yeah. They called themselves kaleidoscope after the kaleidoscope filter that they found in Premiere Pro or something. Right. I wasn't paying attention to this part. I was just like, I'm on rumble. This is bad.

I feel like this is going to, and I'm radicalized as a white nationalist. Fuck. What happened? Algorithm got me. So we get this slow motion crowd shot and he goes, there may be an evil among us. Yeah.

And at that moment, there's a guy in an Ed Hardy shirt walking right towards the camera. And I was like, okay, I see what you're saying. It's him. It's him. So he's like,

he's like, okay, so there's two things that you need to know about the reptilian alien overlords. And I was like, I feel like it's more than that. Otherwise, that's going to be a very short video. I think it's less than that. I think it's less than one of the things that I need to know.

He also says that this is an evil that's been with man since his inception. It's like, yeah, you know, ever since humanity was founded, established, organized. Also, can we talk about how this guy said, this is all about benevolent aliens.

Menevolent! Enjoy my serious documentary about the benevolent aliens. The secret reptiles are the most notoriously benevolent aliens. Yes. But I guess that's the secret kind of are the most notoriously malevolent aliens yes

I guess that's the secret kind of notoriety then I guess because they're secret and notorious

he goes is this all science fiction or hidden truth and I'm like oh I know this one

I know this one actually yeah is this true or is this just a bunch of lies

who can tell and then we open on this old footage right of some dude talking about aliens and and i i wrote my notes at this point i'm like how could this be both wrong and old does a surprising amount of work in the world of pseudoscience right yes yeah yeah this is this is alex collier who apparently is talking while his interviewer is off-screen knitting by the sound of the audio. Because there's just a constant click and clack going on. Oh, my God.

Fun fact, Alex Collier, his website identifies him as a, quote, Andromedan contactee. It does. So, let's take this guy super serious. That's a resume bullet point if I ever heard one right there. Well, and then he immediately starts ranking the alien races. It's like, oh, wow, you're earning your way onto the God of a Many here.

Okay, Noah's not exaggerating. He ranks them by quality or by amount of danger or skill against humans. He's like the Orion group. I thought it was like an org chart. But actually the Alpha Draconis are the real culprits above the Orion

group. And then there's the greys also, but they're like third, I would say. In what? What are the units of this measurement? They're not assistant regional alien. They're assistant to the regional alien. And is this where he says about the aliens,

there are several stories behind their existence? It's like, yeah, because true things need a variety of backstories. Right, so that's when the Alex Collier interview wraps up, the narrator cuts back in, and he's like, really, and he spends most of the video trying to reconcile

the fact that, like, everybody's bullshit on this is different right but he's like but but it's all equally true there's just a lot of interpretation going on see this is where we first see David Icke right and he's like some people have too coherent

of a narrative David Icke is presented as knowing too much factual information to the point where they're making out that he's a plant yeah right I guess they're going for the David Icke is presented as knowing too much factual information. To the point where they're making out that he's a plant. Yeah, right. I guess they're going for that David Icke's in on it.

Yeah. So to learn about conspiracies like this, it has to be a medium amount of data that you have. I don't know. David Icke knows too much, though. The idea that David Icke knows too much, that is one accusation that has never been leveled at David Icke before. It's possibly the only one that's never been leveled at David Icke before. This guy knows too much. Okay, he's choking on a cookie. He's choking on a cookie.

The guy who knows too much. So he eventually wraps up by going like, but in the end, it doesn't matter if our stories are consistent. And I'm like, yeah, man, you got us there. Also, the narrator, just just again to describe the voice we're hearing it sounds like a kid reading three or four levels above his reading level like a grade or three or four they made him read a sentence he does not do well with like multiple clauses it's very confusing to him there's also this great line. He starts talking about the aliens that existed before earth.

And he says they were the carrions. And yes, it's exactly what you think it is. And I'm like, you are overestimating how much I am thinking about what you're saying, dude. I want to turn this off. I don't understand exactly.

No, no, come on. I thought this is obvious. The carrions are exactly what you think, you know? And I was thinking, what is it like rotting flesh?

Like airline hand luggage? Or did I just mishear and say carrions? Like there's something in those areas. But apparently he thinks that carrion means bird. Right? Because of ravens, I guess. Well, yeah, because he sees vultures. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. He eats carrions. Yeah, right, right. And he doesn't know that one is the food and the other is the animal, apparently. They could grip it by the husk in their claw. The carrion bird. And then he tells us,

no, it's a race of alien bird people and their parents were a feline race. And I'm like, I don't think that would have worked out well at all. Yeah, it was a weird parental dynamic. The bird people were like, ah, you had a cat, honey. What's been going on

with you recently? But ultimately, the felines taught the birds the secrets of genetic manipulation. Right. And don't ask me how, but somehow he says the felines

in exactly the same way that a men's rights activist says females. And I don't know how he hit the tone so in exactly the same way that a men's rights activist says females. And I don't know how he gets the term so perfectly. I think he's required to be on Rumble. Yeah, probably. Yeah. And the bird people,

they learned the trick from the cat people. So I assume the trick is to like open dolls or to knock stuff off shells when they're hungry. Those are the only two tricks. That's how you genetically modify. Yeah. And then he goes, he goes goes are you with me so far and all of us wrote down some form of not even close to i tried to summarize it in my own head here i was like okay a cat alien fucked a bird and made a

dinosaur yada yada yada, yada. George Soros got Trump indicted. Okay, just get to your fucking point. I know you're going to land there. This is on Rumble. Let's go. So they mingled their genetics with the reptilians that were already there

on the paradise planet. And that gave birth to the quote, humanoid dinosaur super monster, the Alpha Draconian. He goes, and he actually says, I love this line so much. He goes, well, folks, I guess that answers our questions about dinosaurs. And I'm like, man, you and I have very different questions about dinosaurs. That doesn't answer a single question of mine about dinosaurs.

It answers my questions about your sexual thoughts right now in your life about cat bird dinosaur things but that's about it and then he describes the alpha draconian like he's the flavor text of a boss fight right he's like they have two hearts and a very large liver why do i give a shit how big their liver is well i was going to try to out drink them until you said that okay this is the argument side we're not hearing. Some guy was like, but is their liver big? And he was like, very large liver. Yeah.

What? And I thought, well, you know, they've got an enlarged liver, which is often a sign of cancer or heart disease. So I hope they got checked out by one of the cat people to make sure that they were actually all right. He also explains that they can live up to a thousand to four thousand years. Yeah. What does he think up to does in a sentence?

Just say four thousand. You've given a three thousand grade. Can they not die at nine hundred? I don't, yeah. And we should point out here that the entire time he's saying this, we're looking at a picture of a dragon in a suit of armor, standing bipedally with the sword.

And he's like, now take this very seriously. This is very serious. Yeah. Yeah. And I swear this entire video is just an excuse for him to claim that lizard bird man model as a business expense. If he wanted the model, he's got to justify it. That thing is a giant like crucifix statue in his office somewhere for sure. Probably.

And he goes, actually, you know, the book of, you know, this may sound like nonsense, but the book of Genesis, and I'm like, oh, okay, very reliable source. It says the book of Genesis has many references to monsters, dragons, lions. Nope.

I mean yeah lions those are real man that's just an animal does he not believe in lions also they don't mention lizards so it's like

it's not making his point it says lions but not lizards well right yeah and he's like well you know Greeks and Sumerians and India

they all had serpents in their mythology I'm like again that's a real animal bro they had all of them he goes china fucking wall-to-wall dragons i'm still not reptile people though they wrote genesis in china right that was what so and then he explains that dinosaur fossils are actually draconian fossils and he shows a t-rex but i'm like okay but what about all the other dinosaurs were there little tiny chicken sized draconians because that sounds adorable with their little tiny suits of armor and his segue here was like now what i find interesting about the draconians, and I was like, dude, I will blow you.

I don't care. Just shut the fuck up. Oh, my God. You've definitely had sex by somebody who was like, just if you shut up, I'll do whatever. It's fine. And then he also says, he's like, maybe it's not that reptiles came from dinosaurs, but the dinosaurs came from reptiles. And I mean, what? Like, that's accidentally correct.

Like, yeah, he's too uninformed to correctly be wrong about this. Maybe squares came from rectangles. Maybe cup of water came from bigger cup of water. What the fuck? Yeah. He's just,

he's confusing an example of a category with the whole category. His whole argument can be debunked by a dictionary. Right. Or a Venn diagram, just the concept of. Well, he does misuse the phrase for example here. So yeah, I don't know if we can explain that. He goes, now, when you go to research reptilians, I'm like, that's not what research means. He says, you'll be amazed at how long and how prolifically people have been wrong about this.

Yeah. So he's like loads of people have been wrong about this in the past. So it must be true. Yeah. Right. Yep. And at this point he's like, yeah,

no, this is a really serious problem. We're worshiping dragons and that they're evil alien dragons. Very serious. And we're for like a minute. We're looking on the screen at a balloon animal. Yes. For so long.

Well, he tries to make a serious point. Right. And pretty sure that's the dragon from Mulan, no less. Yeah. He goes and basically he says, like, point he's like okay so if lizard gods aren't real then who the hell were the ancient mesoamericans sacrificing people to yeah and i'm like i'll admit i have not heard that argument before no it's incredible he's doing the die for eliza he goes now i'm assuming that you guys all know about how angels fell from the heaven

and then they fucked people, ladies, and they made half fallen angel hybrids. And I'm like, I don't like the assumptions you're making about me. And I also don't like the fact that they're correct. Also, he says something along the lines of like, all right, well, we all know lizard aliens and fallen angel demons are going to have some friction. This town ain't big enough for both of them. You can't have both of those things. That would be crazy.

So they must be the same. Right. What? What? What logical steps did he take? What would. OK, what would happen? What would go wrong if there were lizard aliens and demons

yeah that's such a weird fucking line he's like you can't tell me that evil reptilian aliens and demons both exist i'm like i'm not the one telling you any of this shit man i'm telling us that you idiot put the other guy on the line whoever you're arguing with get get both of you in this what is happening and the fact is like he's saying like so these two things can't both be true. But his answer then is that, so one of them is? These two dumb ideas are too stupid to both be true. Therefore, we can assume one of them is true. I don't know how that works.

Jesus Christ. Subsets are very tricky for him, yes. And this is why he tells us that he's been researching this for days. Like days, I tell you. Days I've been on this. I got to bed kind of late. And this is also,

this is the part where he starts trying to use the voice modulator thing and it sounds like, like he's doing a different voice. Like he sounds like a kid trying to do grown up except he's already a grown up. It's so good.

I laughed so hard when the modulator came on because it's clearly him and he kind of like darked himself out like he's in witness protection. And it was like, the Andromeda Council chose me to deliver the message to the humans. I'm a different guy from the narrator.

And it's because he's seen whistleblowers on TV and he's like, okay, so when he's seen whistleblowers on TV. And he's like, okay, so when you get a whistleblower, they're sat in the dark with a voice modulator. That makes what they're saying is true.

That is the error that he's made there. Yeah. Yeah. And by the way, we're being really kind when we say voice modulator. He has just lowered the pitch

on this voice, right? If we raise the pitch, it's his voice again. And then he's like, he's like, well, you know, you have a lot of people who are trying to channel these reptilians and that's not a good idea at all. And I'm like, well, you know, you have a lot of people who are trying to channel these reptilians, and that's not

a good idea at all. And I'm like, well, I agree, but I feel like we got there from different directions. Yes, yeah, yeah. This way, he's like, he says, people need to stop talking to aliens. And I wrote, guys, stop talking to aliens. Like, come on, guys. We've been over this. Just

stop talking to aliens. Now, to be clear clear his issue with this with these aliens is their trustworthiness though right they might be lying there's also this bizarre because this is where he brings up adam and eve right he's like oh if you're talking to lizard aliens you're doing making the same mistake that eve made and then there's this weird moment where he's like tell me she didn't fuck that snake right am i making this like he seems to be suggesting that satan took the form of a dildo okay he actually says all right well this was all rooted in sex obviously and all types of sex and i was like oh my god please

have this guy list the types of sex in his head. Just this guy being like, regular, slower, man or lady, sand. But his whole thing of like, he's trying to suggest the serpent was a penis and I really want that to be what happened. I want to see him illustrate the Bible,

the Garden of Eden, just even the talking dick is what I really want to see here illustrate the Bible, the Garden of Eden. Just Eve and the talking dick is what I really want to see here. And he's like, think about it. If it wasn't a penis that we were talking about, why would it be telling Eve about nakedness and stuff? And I'm like, well, the real answer is because that story doesn't make any fucking sense, bro.

I don't know what you want me to say. Oh, and this is where he also says, what was Eve really doing in that garden? And I was like yeah was was the garden of eden an inside job like if you look carefully man doesn't fall that fast it had to be a controlled decision yeah yeah she says what if i told you that serpent in eden was actually uh you know catbird dragon gargoyle demon who controls the world banking system. And I was like, okay, man, I'd be

equally confident about the Bible if he told me. I don't understand what point you're making. And then he starts... So then we get our final... He's going to summarize his let's call them thoughts as we zoom slowly in towards him sitting on a couch with a hoodie on.

Right? And he's like he's like you know what do you do you know everything that you really need to know about reptilians dude i will say whatever answer you want if you're done what's the test man yeah do you know what you really need to know i wrote i feel like i know a lot less than I need to know due to this film. It's not falling out of my head. And then he's like, the alien lizards are masters of seduction. And I'm like, seduction? Are you fucking a reptile, dude? You have to tell us who you are. And the immediate

next line, he says, they're masters of seduction. They'll appear to you big and hairy, tall and scaly. I'm like, those are the descriptors you associate with master of sedction, eh? And then it ends and we get this comically long, like

you keep thinking it's going to be over scroll. It's so good. Yeah. Because just the way they spaced out the text, it was like, okay, well that one's nope. There's another one. One more. And I'm just like, I'm trying to leave the text. It was like, okay, well that one's nope. There's another one. One more. And I'm just like, I'm trying to leave the movie. I'm backing

out of the movie. I'm talking over my shoulder, but I know actually you said something else. I'm in the car. I don't know. I can see your mouth moving, but I'm driving away. I'm driving away from the movie. God, this whole thing. Noah, you must have been there many times. Was this whole thing not like identical to every

annoying drug buy you had to make in your life yes where you had to go to sit on this couch forever and then they come out and they're like let's talk about the list and you're like just just i will give you money extra i just want the drugs so the scroll comes up it goes the existence misspelled of extraterrestrials does not negate god correct yeah sure yeah that's not the thing that negates god and then he goes then you think it's over but then it comes up and it says what we see and what we believe can be two different things and i'm like well if you've demonstrated nothing else here today sir and then you think it's over and it comes up and it says the things we see in the dark you've demonstrated nothing else here today, sir. And then you think it's over and it comes up and it says,

the things we see in the dark, in the shadows, they should not be feared. And I'm like, yeah, no, they mostly just turn out to be a weirdly stacked pile of laundry, generally speaking. What are you talking about? Yeah. Oh, that's my cat, actually. It's fine. It's just my cat. It's fine. Although my cat might give birth to a bird and then things are going to start getting...

Well, that's... Yeah, actually. You got to look out for them. And then right when you're like, wow, this is really fucking funny. The last line comes up and it says, and if they live, they can certainly die.

And I'm like, but keep in mind, this guy thinks Hillary Clinton is a reptile. That just got really fucking scary at the end. Yeah. Yeah, it did. And then the next thing we see is him saying, like and subscribe. Yeah, right.

Reptiles are real. Absolutely Hillary Clinton. And don't forget to smash that sub button, guys. Yes, right. All right. Well, this video was as much in a hurry to be over as we were for it to be over. But there's always more. So we'll see you again soon on the next God awful mini.

Before we take this one in for a landing tonight, I want to remind you one last time that we're going to be hanging out at the exhibitors hall at American atheist convention in Phoenix this weekend. And we would love it. If you came by to see us, check the show notes for more information anyway that's all the blessing we've got for you tonight but we're back in 10,022 minutes with more if you can't wait that long be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show the skeptocrat debuting at 7 eastern on monday an even newer episode of our sister's hot friend god awful movies debuting at

7 eastern on tuesday and an even newer episode of our half sister show citation data debuting at noon eastern on wednesday obviously this mp3 wouldn't upload if i neglected to thank heath enright for rising to the occasion, Michael Marshall for lowering himself to our level, Lucinda Lusions for staying put, and Eli Bosnick, who does so much work on this show that it echoes even into the episodes he isn't on.

I also need to thank Nick in the UK for providing this week's Farnsworth quote, and once again, a reminder to our listeners in the UK that apparently you need to get a fucking voter ID law. Ugh. Because between that and hating on drag queen story hours, the US export sector is shit. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's most delightful diploids, need to get a fucking voter id law because between that and hating on drag queen story hours the u.s

export sector is shit but most of all of course i want to thank this week's most delightful diploids ben jason jake michael mike mark jack tarunga brendan from new zealand stacy dan austin katie angie beth chief non-binary pineapple two fabulous thespians becca callan and claire ben jason jake michael mike mark Jack, whose condoms could have protected those giant cocaine submarines. Tarunga, Brendan, Stacey, Dan, Austin, Katie, and Angie, who the cordyceps would know better than to fuck with. And Ben, Pineapple, Becca, Cal, and Claire and the thespians whose intellects are so vast the James Webb telescope would need binoculars to see across them. To gather these 21 fine-spun nuns done on Shandar puns by giving us money.

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music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll't think of any famous Liverpoolians to put in here like you do for Jersey? I can give you a range. Pete Best, was it? Pete Best, yeah. Yeah, sure. The fifth Beatle. Pete Best, was it? Pete Best, yeah. Yeah, sure. The fifth Beatle.

He was in that band? Yeah. He was for a little while. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm, LLC. Copyright 2023. All rights reserved.